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"WHERE IS IT!?"

by Majin Syeekoh

Chapter 1: "I expect it now."


“Come in,” Celestia said in response to the knock that came from the door of her bedchambers. The door slowly opened to reveal Luna, who quietly closed it behind her.

Luna looked up and smiled. “Hello, sister.”

“Hello, yourself.” Celestia gestured towards the set table with two empty cups and a tea kettle. “I was wondering why you chose to speak with me at this point in time.” She sat down at one end of the table and filled her cup with steaming water.

Luna giggled and sat down across the table from her sister. “You know, just to catch up… and stuff. Could you pour me a cup of tea, please?”

Celestia raised an eyebrow. “I don’t see why you can’t pour it yourself if your magic is in full working order, but anything for family.” She poured out Luna’s cup, then placed a tea bag in each cup to let them steep. “So, how are we?”

“We are… fine, I guess. We’ve just―”

“Who are you?” Celestia asked.

“Whatever do you mean, dear siste―”

Celestia glared at Luna. “Cut the smalltalk. What do you want?”

Luna sighed, then flashed green.

“I suppose I’ll cut to the chase.” Queen Chrysalis flipped the table and lurched towards Celestia. “Where’s my money?

“Your m-money?” Celestia said as she backed away. The two circled each other like wildcats moving in for the kill. “I paid you!”

Chrysalis growled. “You paid me half. Where’s the rest of it?”

“W-well you were so hard to find after that blast of love that I just gave up looking after a while.” Celestia grimaced. “A changeling that doesn’t want to be found is incredibly hard to locate.”

“That’s called suffering for your art. And performance art of that caliber doesn’t come cheap.” Chrysalis sneered as she moved in closer to Celestia. “I masqueraded as your niece, took over Canterlot―Tartarus, I even wrote my own songs!”

Celestia tiptoed away. “The contract technically stated that I was supposed to defeat you. Not my niece. You should be lucky you still have that half.”

Chrysalis pounced at Celestia, who artfully dodged. “I was in the zone! You can’t fault me for a show that doesn’t go exactly as planned!” Chrysalis paused and took a deep breath. “It’s almost like you don’t understand the spontaneity of my craft at all.”

Celestia stopped as well. “You’re right. I don’t understand the spontaneity of felling me and emaresculating my Royal Guard.”

“Then you don’t understand spontaneity much at―” Chrysalis started before she glowered at Celestia. “What was that word you said?”

Celestia raised an eyebrow. “What, you mean felled? I suppose it’s a rather archaic word, but I assure you I used it correc―”

“No, after that!”

Celestia hummed. “I’m pretty sure you understand the word Royal, being a queen and all. Or was it Guard you had trouble wit―”

“Don’t play coy with me, you walking water distortion!” Chrysalis shouted.

“That’s a,” Celestia said with a snort, “rather grandiloquent phrasing of rainbow you just pulled out of your―”

“That confusation of letters. Emaresculate!” Chrysalis stomped her hoof. “That’s not a word!”

Celestia shook her head. “Queen Chrysalis, I assure you on my honor as a Princess of Equestria that emaresculate is a word.”

Chrysalis grunted and trotted towards Celestia. “Your honor is worthless, seeing as how you didn’t pay me in full yet.” Chrysalis sat down and pressed her hooves into her eyes. “You can’t just take a perfectly serviceable word, cram a pony or horse pun in there, and declare it an Equestrian word. That’s not how language works.”

A golden glow surrounded a rather large book from Celestia’s bookcase and placed it in front of Chrysalis. “It’s been a word longer than everyone except for a scant few in this city have been alive. Look for yourself.”

Chrysalis groaned as she flipped through the dictionary. “Fine. But if it isn’t in here, you’re writing me a check right now.”

“I don’t see what use a check would have for a wanted―”

Silence!” Chrysalis rifled through the dictionary. “Let’s see here… E, e-m, e-m-a, e-m-a, e-m-a, e-m-a... “ Chrysalis then hummed. “What do you know. Emaresculate. Hey, Celestia, I’m sorry I―”

Chrysalis looked up just in time to see the door to Celestia’s bedchamber shut. Chrysalis stood up, inhaled sharply, then paced around.

“It’s okay, Chryssy, she’s probably just getting the money, it’s no biggie. Just wait patiently, she’s a mare of her word.”

Minutes felt like hours as Chrysalis paced around Celestia’s bedroom. She was sure she’d come back. Her performance art troupe was admittedly doing well off of the initial deposit, but a promise is a promise. Even if you were unexpectedly emaresculated.

Chrysalis was feeling rather emaresculated right now, in fact. If she knew Celestia’s ego was so easily bruisable, she never would have agreed to the job. She asked for a wedding Canterlot would never forget, and by Chrysalis’s good name, that was exactly what they got. Even if Celestia was dodging payment.

There was a knock at the door.

“Who is it?” Chrysalis asked in Celestia’s voice.

“Can it, bug meat! This is the Royal Guard, here to arrest you. Come out and do not resist.”

Chrysalis inhaled, then exhaled, then counted to three. Then she hurled herself through the door, knocking out two guards.

The other three were dispatched easily through precisely targeted magic blasts. She sniffed, then ran in the direction of Celestia’s pheromones, the trail ending at a balcony.

On the balcony was a note. Chrysalis picked up the note and read it.

I’ll get you the money. I don’t have it due to infrastructure repairs that you caused. That’s the consequence of ‘suffering for your art’.

-C

Chrysalis growled at the sky as the corners of her mouth turned down.

“You just don’t understand that true art requires sacrifices!” Chrysalis screamed into the sky.”I expect my money!”

“What is all this racket about money?”

Chrysalis’s heart turned to ice. Tartarus, it’s Luna!

Chrysalis took off into they sky, turning into Celestia just as Luna rounded the corner. “If you need money, I have…” Luna said before trailing off, looking at who was supposedly her sister take off into the sky. Luna sighed. “The pride of that one,” she said before walking back into the castle.

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