I've been playing with the new options available in the edit toolbar. No seriously! I can go up here and scratch out words or put a YouTube video on this! It's crazy! It also seems like someone might use it 'too much' so I'll keep up the retro game and not use YouTube. Probably ever. I mean yeah I watch it sometimes, but I'm not going to upload videos on my stories. That's just silly, you silly.

David and I were falling to the earth, ready to make the world right as saints. We're not your average angels, no 1.) We respect people. 2.) Angels don't kill. 3.) Angles are douche-bags always thinking that they own everything as we do the hard work.

"Get ready!" I called out to David as I turned the music off. We both landed on the ground using our fist to send the force into the world so we didn't get hurt. We climbed out of the crater we left and looked around.

"The world is so beautiful. I mean year one and all but... still..." God gave us a choice, and we decided that year one A.D. would be a fantastic start. That way civilization had already started and people wouldn't have to depend on us like they did the elder gods.

"Amazing." I said unfolding my helmet. "David, look at this place! No buildings! No technology! The world is so amazing!"

"I don't think a book could ever describe something this beautiful."

"Thanks for agreeing to be my friend for the rest of time."

"Bah... I might not be king, but I wouldn't mess this for another world. Besides, someone had to do it. Couldn't let you have the fun by yourself."

"Party pooper."

"Hey you invited me."

"Hahahaha... good point!" We walked down to see clay buildings. "Now... who do you think is living in their?" I asked him.

"Let's see... year one... oh! Romans!"

"Bingo!" he walked down the hill and we're greeted by the Romans and all the civilians. They saw us as gods. Protectors.

"Excuse me gods!" said a man beside a castle asked. The castle wasn't made out of clay, it was made out of bricks, gold, and glass. "Can you bless our children?" he asked. He was obviously the king. David nodded and I followed him inside. There we saw two babies in the arms of the later to be Queen Faust. She held Celestia and Luna, right there in her arms.

"Grimm! Do you see that?"

"Yeah, in about 20 years you can re-marry."

"No times for jokes! She's back!"

"Fantastic. Good for you, let's go in there, tell the parents that your soul-mate is that baby, and see how things go from there."

"...Man..."

"Just give it time."

"How much time?"

"...a hundred years?"

A hundred years later...

"Hey Grimm." said David walking by me.

"Yes?" I asked taking a sip from the sake a girl gave me as a honoring gift. She knew that I was the alcoholic between the two of us.

"It's been exactly a hundred years since we landed."

"You we're keeping tract? Impressive. Sake?"

"No thanks."

"Suit yourself."

"The girls have grown up now."

"David they know us. They've lived near us for a long time now. Just tell her how you feel."

"It just feels weird. Like it never happened."

"But it did."

"I'm just not sure she's for me."

"David Vizor, you get your fucking ass over there and ask out that woman!" I said standing up. "What are you bitching about exactly? How your scared about being rejected? We have nothing to fear until 1096."

"Why then?"

"That's when the crusades start if I'm correct." I said taking another hit from the sake. "God this is strong...*cough*." I put the bottle on the counter. "That's enough drinking for me."

"Really? I've seen you down 3 kegs. Why quit now?"

"I don't want to get drunk off of sake. That's just embarrassing." I to the balcony and looked across from me to see Celestia on her balcony. She was wearing a white dress (which really did well to hide her curvaceous body.) she had her hand out and was playing with a bird. "There she is."

"Man... as beautiful as ever."

"Why don't you say 'Celestia, you're as hot as the sun?' to her?" he smacked me in the cheek. "Ow."

"What about Luna?"

"Do you want to follow the Mormon path and have multiple wives again?"

"Come on man."

"I'm thinking about asking Celestia to date you, just to shut you up."

"Look... I'll ask her out when I'm ready. It won't take that long will it?" (Oh he has no idea...)

"...Maybe you should have fucked on her as a baby." he smacked me in the cheek again. "...Okay I deserved that one."

"Hi guys!" said Celestia who saw us at the balcony. We both waved at her happily. Luna was no doubt sleeping again. She only likes hanging out at night.

"Why don't you ask out Luna?" he asked me.

"Still not ready."

"Then don't give me lip about Celestia."

"It seems we've stopped at a crossroad. Alright, you win this time."

"Thank you."

"I baked a pie!" said Celestia happily. We looked at each other and jumped off the balcony running to her house. I opened the door but ran into a pole after he pushed me and beat me upstairs. I walked up, accepting defeat, and grabbed a bottle of wine that the waiter offered me. I sat down at a little 4 seat table with them and opened the bottle pouring 3 glasses for each of us. Pie and wine. Isn't that nice?

To do list: 1. Talk to David about only having one wife this time.

2. Eat Celestia's pie (No innuendo intended.)

3. Go build a boat, because I'm fucking bored! And I've always wanted a boat.

"What are you plans today?" she asked us while looking deep into David's eyes. She obviously liked him. He blushed and looked at me. That means he can't do it.

"*sigh* Today we're building a boat! Want to help?"

"That sounds like fun! I've always wanted to ride a boat!" This forced me to smile as I looked at David. When she wasn't looking I gave him an evil glare. Then Luna walked downstairs rubbing her eyes as she just woke up.

"Sister, what have though been up to?" she asked looking around. She wasn't wearing much clothing. Nope.

"Luna, we have guest." she looked at us and ran back up stairs. She came down with a light blue dress on and her hair brushed properly. I poured her a glass and handed her some pie.

"Thank thy generous heart." she said to me.

"Did I ever tell you about how your eyes resemble the beauty of the moon?" she grew a deep blush and looked away. "See? That's how it's done David."

"Celestia..." he said. "You..." he looked at me and I mouthed 'as hot as the sun' to him. "...have big buns." My jaw dropped when he said that. So did Luna's. David watched as my wicked smile slowly grew into a full one.

"Ha ha.... hahaha....HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I was the only one laughing at Celestia's insane blush. "Oh man... oh my god...hahaha..."

"Sorry." he said. "I got my words tangled up. I mean to say... you know what? I'm going to stop talking now."

"That would be for the best." said both of the sisters.

"What say you Grimm?" asked Luna.

"...hahahahahahahhaha *wheeze*" I fell out of my chair holding my stomach as I laughed in pain.

1010 years later...

I was whistling as I walked down the road holding a net full of fish. As it turns out, I'm an excellent fisher. I use to do this as a kid with Minos and a bucket in my creek.

"Hey Mr. Reaper!" said one of the kids running up to me. It was all the kids at the orphanage.

"How's it going kiddos?" I asked them.

"Great! What's in the basket?"

"Your dinner, nosy brat." I flicked her on the nose making her giggle. I took care of the orphanage as I took care of almost everyone that was good and righteous. I'll kill anyone that's evil. That's my thing. I opened the door and met Layla who took good care of all the children. She was a nice, caring woman.

"Thank you so much Grimm!"

"Bah... it's nothing. Just doing what I can to help."

"There's enough fish in here to feed us for months!"

"Well you had better get eating then." I turned around and walked past all the cheering kids. I watched as groups of men were rebuilding the Faust Manor...again. "Can I help you boys?" I asked them.

"It's him." said one of them.

"No way! I knew today would be a good day!" said his friend.

"Sure you can help! We just need to put up the wall and we're done here."

"You boys take a break." I said rolling up the sleeves on my jacket. "I'll handle it from here." I grabbed the cement and bricks and started working my way up. In a good 40 minutes, I had them all up.

"Amazing!"

"You did a great job!" said another one who checked the bricks. "Good use of the cement too. Nice and sturdy. The boss will love it."

"I hope so, that brick is strong enough to stop a cannon." said another one.

"Hopefully we won't be under attack again!" A few years ago, this small city experienced it's first war. It had grown, from when I first arrived here. It was a small town, and now it will be the stepping stones to form all of Rome itself.

"Grimm!" yelled David as he landed beside me taking his armor off. "I need to talk to you. In private."

"Private? What about?"

"It's about the crusaders."

"Crusaders?" I asked while walking away from the crowd with him. "What do they want?"

"You know what they want."

"To kill in the name of the lord..."

"How many are there?"

"...9 crusades."

"Should we fight them?"

"No, we mustn't intervene in time. Not so drastically. We stay low."

"But we can stop this!"

"And rewrite time? Are you crazy?"

"...No, okay so what do you propose?"

"Nothing. God will handle it like he did last time." I walked down the stairs with him but stopped to pull some rocks from my sandals. "Errrr... why do rocks always do that?" I asked him.

"Why are you wearing pants and no one else?"

"I asked a friend of mine to make them. I told her I was very uncomfortable wearing a dress."

"Toga." he said while showing off his. "And it's surprisingly comfortable."

"Dude I've worn a kilt, I know what it's like."

"Kilts are cool."

"Yeah...they are. Togas? Not so much..."

"Why not?"

"They only look good on women, and that's because they are easy to take off."

"Come on man."

"Me come on? I didn't know you floated that boat."

"*sigh*"

"I'm just joking with you. Do you honestly see me walking up to someone like Celestia and fondling her J-cup perfect breast? No I didn't think so."

"I don't think that's a size."

"I don't think natural boobs can get that big. Then again, she eats a lot of cake..."

"Jeez you really know how to piss me off."

"It's what I do best." I walked down the stairs with him and unto the streets where a chariot flew past us. "Speaking of Celestia..." we watched as the butler opened the door and helped the sister down. I knew where she went. She went to pay her respects to Luna after we... sent her to the moon. Well she did it, I merely knocked Nightmare Moon out.

"Should I go talk to her?" asked David.

"*sigh* If you didn't ask her out a thousand years ago... why would you do it now? Why not wait a thousand more?" I said sarcastically. Little did I know, that's what he planned to do. It wasn't anybody's fault for what happened. The demon was released because the one wanderer wanted to save his maiden... as if slaughtering the 16 giants of the land wasn't enough, he released Nightmare and Luna was the human she liked the most.

"So...should I go talk to her?"

"Yes! Go and comfort the girl David! I shouldn't have to tell you that!" I yelled as he ran off. "Man... what a goof. Oh well... he means well." I took a seat at the park bench and ate some bread I got at a vendor. Nothing like fresh bread to get your mind off things. Then I saw a sight, that I don't think I would ever expect to have seen. David kissing the girl in the balcony. They didn't see me as they went back in. I just sat there munching on some bread. Pity sex is the best kind of sex, because no one regrets it! (You wanted to know why she had a crush on him? Because of this. Smoove moves, Davy.

"Mr. Reaper!" said King Faust stopping by and sitting beside me. "How's my favorite saint doing today?"

"He's doing fantastic King."

"Good good. Where's your suave friend David at?"

"He's... busy."

"Did he ever muster up the courage to ask out my daughter yet?"

"I think he has."

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing. Want some bread?"

"Is that from Daphne's?"

"You know it!"

"I'd love some." we both sat there watching the people. "Wonderful weather, isn't it?"

"You know, it is actually. I mean Fall is my favorite season, but this is a wonderful day for Spring huh?"

"I agree. I enjoy everything about this day. Now if only I could get my daughter to marry someone."

"I...uhhhhh..."

"What is it my good fellow?"

"Does...Celestia...like bananas?"

"They're her favorite fruit. You know that."

"Aye... why don't you go take her a bag of them, and check up on her."

"Did I do something wrong?"

"Your not spending enough time with your daughter, especially after the whole Luna thing..."

"My gods! Your right! I am a horrible parent!"

"No... don't say that. Your better than my dad."

"He sounds like a good fellow."

"No, it's only because I act exactly the opposite of what he does. Did. Don't care."

"How can you not care about your father?"

"You go to hell and tell me."

"Hmm...good point."

"Go check on her. Like now would be good."

"I shall!" he said getting up happily. If you ever wanted to see a jolly king who enjoys being with the people, King Faust is your go-to man. I don't think I've ever seen someone that happy, and all because of a banana.

2 minutes later...

I waited outside, finishing off my bread, using my sonic waves to listen to the conversation. I could still here the two going at it when the door opened.

"Celestia! My daughter! I'm here to...uh huh."

"King Faust sir!" said David. "I'm sorry!"

"Daddy it's not what you think." there was a few moments of silence.

"...Continue." said the King walking out and closing the door. He walked outside and sat beside me again. "You could have told me."

"No I couldn't! Your the dad, and by letting her do this, you just gained your daughter's trust, and a responsible husband. That's a win/win my king."

"Why do you always make sense?"

"My mom taught me."

"Now she sounds better than your dad."

"Oh she was an angel on earth, rest her soul." I looked in his hands to see the bananas he bought. "You didn't give her the fruit man!"

"I didn't think she'd need it since David's up there."

"...Gross."

"It's only a joke, my good boy." Ew...

200 years later...

I was sleeping in the hammock I made for myself at the hill outside the castle where we all hang out at. Everyday I hear David bitch about wanting to properly ask out Celestia.

'Dude, you had sex, get over it. Time to just get together.' I said in a flashback.

'It's complicated!'

'No, your only making it worst. Just shut up and ask her out.'

'What's the point in making you understand?'

'*sigh* You are ridiculous.'

I then walked up here and started sleeping. Off the cliff you could see the other countries. The one that had me worried was the Ottoman Empire. If I remember my history then they will soon start spreading. Eventually into a new empire. That's not the worst matter at hand. King Faust lost his position as king, because the people wanted a man who would blindly throw them into war. I mean he's still like Vice-King or something. The point is, they still make the same lots of money.

"Hey buddy." said David walking up to me. I pulled the hood down on my jacket and looked him into the eye.

"What now? I'm out of advice."

"*sigh* I married her in the past! I don't need your advice with that!"

"We're not in the past! Everything and everyone is gone! Different!"

"You just don't understand how complicated love is." he said putting a hand on my shoulder.

"GET THE FUCK OFF ME!" I shouted kicking him back. "I understand everything just fine! You should be fucking grateful because you wife is back! Twilight is gone forever! She's gone and moved on! I don't mean shit to her or anyone anymore! So don't you or anybody else even fucking DARE to tell me about how relationships work!"

"Sorry man."

"*pants* It's not okay." I sat back down. "I hate to sound like a prick and you know I seldom lose my temper, but I don't need to hear this shit."

"Whatever. I'll just handle this situation by myself, like I'm suppose to." he stopped himself before he walked away. "Tell me, when you were Static... how were things with Twilight?"

"We we're married. Had a cute kid. But I threw that away... and now... look at me. I'm an immortal idiot who has to move on. The worst part... even if I got Twilight back... she'd die before 90 probably. I'm not giving you anymore dating advice, you obviously don't need it."

"Touchy subject?"

"Hurry up and get off my damn hill!"

"Fine. I'll check on you in a few." he walked away whistling. I pulled out my medallion and opened it to see a picture of her as a human. Angel actually. Instead of the purple in her hair, she had white. For the last few moments that I saw her, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever seen.

'You need to move on.' she said in my memory.

"But with who?" I asked myself looking up at the night sky. I saw an asteroid fly by in the distance. No wait... that's a cannonball... "SHIT!" I quickly dodged it and watched as it left an impact where I was laying. That was carefully aimed, no one could have just hit that with blind luck. Whose after me?

"Ahahahahah! I have returned!" said a voice in the distance. I looked over at Lucy.

"Ah... Lucile. I've messed you love."

"Flattery will get you no where."

"Still holding on to a pointless grudge?"

"No. I just wanted to see if you haven't gone soft." We became friends. Well... after Kay murdered us, that is. Truth be told... I didn't give a fuck anymore. I only hated one person... and that was myself. Well that and Michelle Obama. I have to stop her in 2012 from closing down the hostess company. I miss my fucking twinkie! "So, big boy. Ever move on from Little Sparkle?"

"Shut it Red."

"Ohhh! Touched a nerve did we?"

"No, you merely gave my killing arm an itch. How can I help you this fine night?"

"As you are well aware of... King Faust has lost his political place due to his douchebag opponent."

"Ugh... tell me about it."

"I'm rather a fan of Faust's work, because he made everyone feel good. I want to get him back on track."

"I'm not assassinating the new king."

"Oh please! Save me the troubles!"

"You know I can't if-"

"But you can! I have all of his records and what he's done wrong!" I opened the folder and read it.

"Rape...murder...thief... and they let him be king?"

"He burned all his copies. So they all went to hell, where I got them."

"Very nice. I won't assassinate him. No..."

"Booooo..."

"It's less fun that way. Hand me that shovel." she did as was told and handed me the shovel. I drew my wings and swiftly landed in the window. I pulled my hood down and sneaked to his room where he was alone tonight. His 'mistress' couldn't be here. "Hello Vladimir." I said behind him.

"What do you think your doing?" I smacked him in the temple with the blunt weapon. I used the toga he hung on the wall to clean up any blood and I stuffed it into his pocket. I picked him up and climbed out the window with him.

"Oh Vladdy boy... you've really let yourself go." I said dragging him up the hill.

"What are you doing?" asked Lucy.

"I'm giving him what he deserves." I threw him into the crater where my hammock once hung. "Help me fill up the hole."

"That's a grim way to die. Hahahaha! Get it? Grim? Like Grimm?"

"I get it."

"What the fuck are you doing?!" asked David behind me. I kicked him the file with all the dirt on Vlad. "Oh...here." he took Lucy's shovel. "Let me get that for you Lucifer." he helped me fill the whole and moved patches of grass over it. You don't want people thinking it's fresh now do you?

1776...

The year was 1775. One year after the American Revolution had begun. David, Celestia, Luna, their parents, and I had survived this long. They gained a new mansion, a long time ago, in England. They weren't kings anymore, but they were still royalty. David stayed behind, but I followed Washington over seas. I was the man who did all the dirty work. The one who fought by himself. It was nice of Luna to make me a new outfit.

"Here. This is for you." she said putting it on me. It was a long white coat, with blue trimmings, in a fashion similar to the redcoats but with a hood.

"I appreciate it Luna."

"Please don't die on me." she said hugging me. "Promise?"

"I promise." She couldn't let go of us. We we're the only family she had. We brought her back down from the moon about 100 years ago. There I purified the spirit inside of her. David and Celestia hugged me off, and their parents prayed for me. David constantly told me not to equip my Painkiller armor for I would attract attention. When I went to the United States, back when it was swampy, disease and famine lingered everywhere. I also was injured and separated from my soldiers. I spent a year with the Indians, learning their language and how they survive.

"[In Indian] You have done well, lone one." said the leader. "But I am afraid that this war hasn't ended yet. Tell me wise man... where will you go?"

"[Indian] I will go where I'm needed."

"May the spirits watch over you." he said wishing me luck as I parted ways from them. I still wore the jacket Luna made me. I eventually climbed through the mountains and snow and found both sides fighting each other. I walked down the barricades that our side had put up to fight the redcoats.

"Grimm?" asked General Washington as I walked by him. "You're alive?"

"I am. Where's the leader?" I asked looking at the army.

"Up on the top, riding the horse. That's King George's first lieutenant."

"Don't go that way sir!" said one of the privates on a horse. "It's suicide!"

"Watch me." I took his horse away as he climbed off. I rode the horse over the barricade and everyone on my side stopped shooting.

"READY! TAKE AIM! FIRE!" shouted the lieutenant. His soldiers all loaded their muskets. I moved my body to the side of the horse as they all opened fire and gunned it down. I began running ahead. "GET READY..." as he shouted, I hid behind a rock and they unloaded more ammo on me. I ran out from cover and jumped on the gun of one soldier and used it to jump over the group. I began punching my way through more soldiers and using their rifles against them. Eventually they decided to use their bayonets.

"Get him!" said one of them.

"The revolution shall end!" I drew one of my tomahawks and a knife and started swiftly moving and cutting through them. Some I would spare, some I would kill immediately. I can tell who is innocent and who is not. The Indians supplied me well, along with their clothing (pants, boots, gloves, etc...) and weapons. I saw the lieutenant starting to panic. His soul the most stained. I drew my bow and quickly shot him above the heart.

"ATTTAAACCCKKK!" shouted the rebels as they ran on the battlefield, instantly gaining the upper hand. I walked up to the soldier and stood above him.

"You take pleasure in pain do you not?" I asked him.

"Why do you forsake me saint? Am I not worthy of a second chance?"

"You know what... your right. Your going to send a message for me." he let out a sight of relief. I pulled out my flintlock pistol and aimed it at him.

"No wai- BLAM!" I pulled the arrow from his heart and placed it back in my quiver. The war was ending... one casualty at a time...

I continued to live through history. I helped England in the War of 1812... I even stopped Napoleon Bonaparte. David actually helped me in that one. I treated him like my brother, as did he to me. Sure we may bicker, but if you should ever die with a man beside you in a trench, David is the only man that makes death fun. There was an accident in England. I'm not going to go into detail, but we moved the mansion to Virginia. The country made life fun again. Until 1861...

1861...

"Move move move!" shouted our general as we began our battle during the civil war. We joined the Union, of course. However, the Union generals we're not very good leaders. No. If I remember correctly, Ulysses S. Grant was the best leader. As soon as Lincoln hired him, the North started winning the war. For the first year, it began violently. Our soldiers were slaughtered. Well... except me and David.

"Grimm we need to keep moving!" he shouted as we ran up the hill. He had his jacket on but lost his hat which allowed his long brown hair to flow with the wind. I had similar long hair. I used my hat as a decoy to distract the enemies, which saved at least 34 lives from being shot that day. My jacket was torn and dirtied.

"Hold up." I stopped him and pulled him back. We watched as a troop regiment crossed through the trees. We were equipped with revolvers and swords. "David..."

"We can't use our powers."

"We have to!" I shouted as they saw us. Some of them shot at us. Others used magic. "See that? They have magic!"

"Alright! I'll play it your way!" we both equipped our armor and flew into the group, tearing up the soldiers. I stretched my hands into claws and began hacking as I saw David draw his swords and continue fighting. He didn't shape-shift... but he still had his mind powers. He held his hand out and used a force spell sending the rest of them off the hill and to their deaths.

"Not bad." I told him as I watched a couple of trees fall.

"Not good either."

"You read their souls too?"

"Each one, guilty."

"...yeah."

"We're near Virginia!"

"Oh shit! The mansion!" we flew a couple of miles till we saw it. The house was near Richmond, the Confederate's capital. We landed to see the house wasn't damaged at all. We removed our armor and took off our jackets.

"Girls! Open up!" David shouted while knocking on the door.

"David! Grimm!" cried Celestia opening it. "Oh my... get in!" she pulled us inside. "You two look horrible!"

"Our regiment is all gone." David said taking a seat in a chair. I walked in and fell beside the couch. I was still in pain. You see, earlier when we were ambushed, I took all of the shots that would have injured him. I mean I know we both can't die... but I'm already scarred up. Also, I owed him.

"Grimm!" she shouted while helping me up. "You've been shot!"

"I know... hand me a knife... and I need you two to do something." they nodded and listened to me. I used the knife to cut out the 3 bullets that burrowed into my gut. My organs all healed. I was still bleeding however.

"I can't do it!" David shouted. I had Celestia and Luna hold me down.

"Do it!" I cried out. We heated up the clothes iron on the stove. He pressed the hot metal against my skin, cauterizing the wounds. I wanted to scream, but Luna kept a rag tied around my mouth and Celestia held my arms still. I put my hand on her head and closed my eyes as the pain eventually stopped. "Okay... thanks..."

"You okay?" the girls asked.

"I'm fine." I brushed off the burnt skin to show that I had completely healed. I only heal if I burn the wound, or stitch it shut. The pain stopped altogether, and I recovered quickly. "We may have to hide low for a while." I told them. "Unless you want to keep fighting David."

"We can't..."

"Because we'd kill them all. We can not rewrite history."

"Guys we've known you forever." said Celestia closing the window shades. "We believe you. Just tell us what needs to be done." So we laid low for 2 years. Until David and I were forced to fight in the year of 1863 during the worst battle of the war. The Battle of Gettysburg.

"Let them go!" shouted David as the Union troops took the girls captive. I held my hatchet in my hands from wood cutting and looked the soldier leader in the eyes.

"We know you two are the best soldiers. Please come and help us win this battle!"

"You don't need us." I told him while looking at the soldier who held Celestia and Luna in his arms. "However, you even dare think about hurting them, or doing 'other' things, and I will murder you." I quickly jumped over the leader, knocked out two more troops, and held the hatchet to that captor's neck. "Now release our girls."

"Your insane..." he said dropping them and backing up slowly.

"Maybe... but its better than losing my girls. Now all of you get lost!"

"But the battle-"

"We'll be there." said David. I nodded in agreement and went back to chopping wood. The soldiers all left, with some shit in their pants, and we talked about our plan. "Okay, so what should we do?"

"You tell me. You signed me up for a fight."

"Right... I guess we don our jackets and load our revolvers."

"Can't we just blow them up with a good fireball or two?"

"No."

"Then I'll get loading." I said walking inside. I looked at myself in the mirror in the bathroom. My hair had grown down to my shoulders and was that height all the way around. I played with it seeing how it curled, while David's grew straight. I trimmed my beard short and my hair so it would stay that same length.

"Here you go." said Celestia handing us our jackets. They we're stitched up and ready to go. I put mine on and grabbed my hat. We found them a few years ago floating down the river, along with 20 others. "Good luck." she and Luna both said kissing us on the cheeks. We turned and walked out after getting our equipment.

"You remember how to ride horseback?" he asked mounting his black stallion.

"Of course I do." I climbed up on the white horse and got comfortable in the saddle. "Now...let's go pay some Yankees a 'howdy do'. What do you say?"

"Sounds like fun." we both rode our horsed while evading confederate patrols until we eventually went up to Pennsylvania. It was a two day travel. There we were saluted by all of the troops as we gained the ranks of captains for our bravery and skills. "Alright men! You all know the plan! We don't break formation!"

"That's right. We have many positions lined up along the mountain. The confederate will climb up to attack us. We...have the advantage. No one play the hero and run out there, that's just suicide. Do I make myself clear?"

"SIR, YES, SIR!" they yelled.

"Good! Now! Everyone make sure your loaded and ready. Get a good hiding spot, and shoot when commanded. We can do this!"

"YYYEEEAAAHHH!"

"Yeah!"

"Ready?" asked David.

"Pfft... I killed Nightmare. I can handle a couple of hillbillies." I said while dismounting my horse. "Run for home, princess." I said smacking her ass making the horse run away. David did the same. Going out there on a horse makes us easier to hit, and the girls would be pissed if we came home without them. "I just thought about something..."

"What?"

"We can't use our powers without causing a panic. We do that... and time changes." We waited for an hour, then the bullets started flying by. Our men took well aimed shots and started going through the armed forces. We didn't lose anybody.

"Keep it up!" I yelled at them. Little did we know that his battle would last days. Thousands of lives perished in this battle. David and I, made the most of it.

"What are they doing?" asked one of the soldiers.

"Messing with the enemy." said another. We held Robert E. Lee on the ground.

"Grimm you can't kill him! You'll change time!" said David.

"Kill him!" shouted all the soldiers.

"Make your prayer Lee." he started praying with eyes closed and looked at me. "Now let's see if God has mercy on you." I took 5 bullets out of my revolver and twisted the chamber. "In the name... of Almighty God! You will be deemed for your actions!" I pulled the trigger and the hammer clicked. The bullet didn't fire. "Oops. Signal dropped, please call us again some time soon. Hahahahahah!" David picked me up and we both had a good laugh watching the mighty general retreat.

"Man... you really make people feel grateful about what lives they have."

"I wasn't sure you could have more than one life."

"Tell that to the cat."

"I'd rather make a hat."

"I'll feed it to a rat."

"And turn it to a mat."

"Hahaha..."

"Hahahahaha!" The other soldiers watched us like we were gods among them.

The next many years would be no different. Technology started growing. Soon enough... We entered the 1900's. These were without a doubt, the hardest years for us. We were lucky, for we were not drafted into World War 1. We lived with the Faust family this entire time. David kept his hair short and clean and dressed nice most of the time, but I never cut my hair. I wanted to keep it long. It made me feel better about myself.

"Grimm, want to go see a play with us?" asked Luna with her family.

"I'm fine sweetie. Go have fun." I kept the mansion looking alive and well. I chopped the wood, I planted the garden, I fixed the house, and I defended it. They all left to enjoy their play. I cut the radio on and sat back in my chair.

"Here's the Star-Spangled Banner." said the man on the radio.

"*sigh* Only 60 more years and metal is born! Can't fucking wait." I walked outside and continued working with the garden. I didn't have much to look for around here. I always waited on my family, or the people closest to me, and I enjoyed the boxing matches. Like James Braddock, the Cinderella Man. He was an awesome fighter. I sat down on the chair outside and lit up a smoke and grabbed a bottle of whiskey.

"Are you Grimm Reaper?" asked a voice beside me.

"Sure am."

"I am Special Angel Rocco. I'm here to warn you."

"Me? About what?"

"The next World War."

"Hitler's a demon isn't he?"

"Yes."

"Anything else?"

"No."

"Goodbye." The man turned away in disgust and flew off somewhere. "That was random." Even more years flew by, until we reached the year of 1941, when the United States entered World War II after the Pearl Harbor bombing. David and I were both drafted and sent to the front lines since we were the best they had. We stood on the boat entering Normandy Bay, preparing for a fight.

"We're going to die!" said one of the soldiers.

"No..." I told him. "Well maybe, yeah you will."

"BBLLLLEEEEAAAGGGHHH!" the one behind me vomited.

"Bill, puke over the edge next time." I told him.

"Ready?" asked David.

"You know it." We put our rifles down and started stretching. Eventually our boat landed (others weren't so lucky) and all the soldiers ran off the barge. We walked off it slowly and watched as every bullet missed us.

"Incoming!" shouted Bill on our right. Someone above shot a rocket at us. I summoned the gauntlet of my armor and backhanded the rocket into the sky where it blew up. David and I both dawned our armor and watched as several Nazis equipped demonic armor. They had red pieces of metal, no doubt forged in hell, and it looked more organic.

"Grimm... do you see the armor? It's organic."

"I'm a bit familiar with it, they forge the armor and fused it to their skin."

"Ouch..."

"Makes it harder to rip off. But twice as satisfying." He drew his sword and I turned my right arm into a giant blade as we rushed into them and quickly started dispatching them.

"They don't know who they're messing with!"

"Only the two strongest soldiers in history!"

"Hard to think Lucy would do this!"

"No it's not her! Adolf started a little revolution."

"Why would he do that?"

"He thinks woman and Jews are inferior." I said decapitating another soldier. "DECAPITATIOOONNNN!" I slid on the ground and pretended to play a guitar.

"Pick it up idiots!" shouted another angel warrior running past us.

"You might not want to-"

"LEERRROOOYYYY JEEENNNKKKIIINNNSSSS!" he shouted while being blown up by everyone with rocket launchers.

"Now's our chance Grimm, while they're reloading."

"I shall remember you Leroy!" I shouted to the pile of guts as we ran up the stairs and into the buildings clearing them 1 Nazi at a time. "And the boys start rolling in." I said manning the machine gun and gunning down all the other Nazis. All our men started climbing the wall and getting to work.

"Man, I tell you, things have been getting weirder. I mean yeah you combined two worlds, but when people start using magic, not ponies, it feels different, you know?"

"No. All I care about is killing these demons for now... but yeah." I watched as all the soldiers we're using magic. Not one of them had a rifle. "Your right... magic is becoming dominant."

"So what do we do now?"

"I guess we... play tic-tact-toe?" I asked making the square.

"I call X."

"Damn!"

1965...

The war in Vietnam began 10 years ago. Twilight was right, I was in history. I was the guy standing on the edge of the boat singing 'Sympathy for the Devil' as David drove directly into the heart of the jungle. Eventually we were ambushed by the enemy, yet the music on the radio played. Most of the soldiers with us we're killed or incapacitated. David and I stood there, amongst the Vietnamese in our armor, looking down on them.

"[In Vietnamese] We capture you." said one of them.

"[In Vietnamese] You stand down or die." I told him.

"When did you learn Vietnam?" David asked me.

"Vietnamese. I know every language."

"Then why the fuck are we soldiers when we could be translators or something like that?"

"Because that's boring." One of them threw a net on David that was electrified.

"DAMMIT!" he cursed as he fell down trying to get up, but some guys ran over to pin him down. I got in a fist-fight with the leader who was wearing angel armor. I blocked most of his attacks but he pulled out a futuristic gun with blue lights.

"What's that? Ohhh...I'm so scared *BZZT* Bzzzazzazaazaza!!!" It was a fucking taser! I ran up and grabbed him by the neck and drew his revolver shooting the other 3 enemies. "Stop tasing me you ass!" I looked down to see I snapped his neck in anger. "...Oh..." I pulled out the needles and ripped the net off David. "You alright?"

"Fine. Why are we fighting angels?"

"He must have been a renegade. Even so... after the war... we need to hide for a few years." I looked at the other Americans. "Go on! Get shooting men!" they all saluted and ran up the hill firing on the enemy.

"God dammit..." said David taking his helmet off. "Look."

"I know this face..."

"Remember that kid who followed us from the very beginning?"

"Who?"

"The one who always looked up to us."

"That asshole brat?"

"Yeah."

"Nope. Don't remember."

"This is his brother."

"Whatever..."

We spent the next years fighting and living like usual. However... we didn't get to go home. Something happened, and I'm not comfortable going into detail. So we had to stay for many years. Then we ended up going to China and fighting samurai. Odd, I know, but true story... Hell we both had long hair and beards, so no one would ever notice us. But one day in December of 1994, Rocco the angel came to us again.

"I see you boys have been having fun."

"Rocky right?" I asked him.

"Rocco."

"Close."

"Do you want to get back to Virginia?" we both nodded. "Then let me tell you what to do."

1995...

We were on the boat to America to lay low for a while. We still had angels investigating the death of that one guy. There, in our cargo room, I had David working on the large cross tattoo on my back. It was a Celtic cross with a 6 sided star in the middle. He was very talented, even though he wouldn't let me tattoo him.

"You know when they do those sketches on the news, the person never looks the same." I told him.

"Why did we cut our hair? We looked like Jesus Christ!"

"It just seemed like the best thing to do at the moment. Besides Tia wouldn't recognize you would she?"

"Guess not."

"So what do we do then?"

"I guess we could dye it."

"What do you mean?"

"They do it in movies like The Fugitive, they dye their hair all the time."

"What would you dye yours then?"

"I don't know...lighter, I guess?"

"Like blonde? Hahaha..."

"I didn't fucking say that!"

"Like California surfer boy blonde!"

"That's not what I said!"

"Like gay, gay, gay,-"

"I'm fucking warning you!"

"-faggoty blonde."

"I'm fucking warning you!"

"Stay gold Ponyboy!"

"Fuck you!"

"Stay gold P- OW! You fucking cunt!" he stabbed me with the pen he was holding for the tattooing.

"I just realized something."

"Besides possible ink poisoning?"

"We missed the 70's and 80's."

"Look on the bright side, most of the music we like should be back now."

"Oh finally!"

"I'm going to buy every Judas Priest record I can find and party all night."

"I hear you." the horn on the boat sounded. "We're nearing our stop." he said grabbing his duffel bags. "Celestia wrote to me. She said that she started a school for mages. I'm thinking about working there. You should do the same."

"Teaching sounds like fun." the door opened on the boat and outside we saw a group of angels holding weapons. "Or not...oh no."

"What do we do?"

"...You want to go to that school right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"Just tell me where it is."

"Canterlot."

"The flying city?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Listen, I'll take care of them. I don't know how long it will take though... so...goodbye."

"Careful Grimm."

"Me? Your going to date Celestia. You need more help than I do."

"Shut up..."

"Hahaha...goodbye man." I said hugging him. I equipped my armor which obviously got their attention. "Well, come get me!" They began to open fire as I jumped in the water and made them follow me. I didn't know it would take me 17 years to get rid of every single one of them. As it turns out, they we're renegade angels, hired by an unknown source, to terminate me. David was a liability, so they would go after him to get to me. Eventually... I made it to Washington D.C. and saw a bus heading up for Canterlot. I got on and watched outside as the bus started flying.

"Is this your first time?" asked a girl behind me.

"Yeah... I'm use to flying on my own."

"So what do you plan to do in the city of dreams?"

"Dreams?"

"Rumor has it, everyone that goes to Canterlot has their dreams come true."

"I didn't know that. Honestly I'm just turning a new leaf."

"Is that your only reason?"

"Of course! I don't multitask." I didn't want to turn around. I recognized the voice too well.

"Are you unemployed?" she asked me. I turned around and looked at her. It was Cadence.

"Actually... I have some friends offering me a job here in Canterlot. That's my plan anyways..."

"Are you sure you don't want to work with me?" I saw her use the heart spell she was famous for. Cadence is famous for... relaxing people... of their... stress.

"Sorry lady." I said catching the heart and smashing it. "I already have somebody." As soon as the bus door opened, I jumped out before anyone else so she was stuck in a line of traffic. I had plenty of time to run away from her.

"Theater...bar... shopping mall... but where's the..." I stopped when I went around the corner looking up at the building. "...school? Wow... David wasn't kidding." I walked to the door to see no one in the hall. I checked my watch to see it was 10 o'clock. I walked inside and grabbed a map.

"...blah blah blah... Celestia's office!" I ran upstairs and to the faculty section till I got there. I tried to open the door but it was locked. "Damn...Hmm..." I went back to reading. "She lives in the... royal bedroom... on the top floor?" I read. "Simple enough." I opened the elevator and walked beside the two guys making out. I looked over to see they looked just like Lyra and Bon-Bon. But they're girls right? Maybe my memory is going bad. As soon as the door opened, I ran out and looked around.

"Royal bedroom? Which one is..." I stopped when I saw the gigantic door that replicated a castle. "...found it." I pushed it open gently. I heard a guy and girl inside. Hmm... guess he finally hooked up with her for reals this time. David you make me proud you son of a bitch!

"Ready?" asked the guy.

"Yeah." said the girl. I walked in the room to see Celestia as a guy and David as a girl.

"GRIMM!" they both shouted. I stood still and slowly fell back as I fainted. When I awoke, I was outside the room sleeping in the hallway. In my hands I held various objects. Teacher clothes, a key that said 115, and an apology letter. I grabbed all my things and headed for the room they gave me. I used my magic to summon my portable closet and threw my things inside it along with most of my trophies. I didn't have anywhere else to put the advanced suit helmet and the gas mask so I left them on the shelf. I then threw myself on the bed and went to sleep.

I awoke to that woodland music you hear all the time. The one with the recorder. I changed my outfit and walked into David and Celestia on my way out.

"Grimm!" they both said hugging me. They returned to their regular bodies.

"Welcome back!" said David. "You took care of the angels?"

"Renegades. Yeah. It was a pain in the ass though."

"Well your in luck." said Celestia. "Dr. Zephyr ran away, so we're giving you his job."

"Zephyr?! Where is that bald motherfucker!" I yelled standing up.

"You know him?" they both asked.

"I'm going to make him swallow his balls! I'm going to rip out his intestines and use them as a party streamer!"

"What happened?" asked David.

"Two thousand years ago David! In Equestria! He's the reason I was sent to the moon, that Russian bitch!"

"I never sent you to the moon." said Celestia. "And that world is in the past Grimm."

"I know, but still. I think I should get the upper hand and beat him up before he goes mad with power. Now I have a question for the two of you..."

"Poison Joke." they both said.

"...#83?"

"Yes."

"Uh...huh... alright. I believe you. Where did you get it?"

"In the school food." said David.

"Okay I'm never eating the school food here."

"No Grimm! It was just a prank."

"I'll consider it. Also I'm going to use Murphy as a teacher name."

"Good idea." said Celestia. "We're going to breakfast."

"Bye." I told them as they walked away. I went to the room on my list and started putting up all the tools I was going to need for teaching. I started cooking some toast on the hot-plate when my door opened and I saw two kids walk inside. "Hello! I'm Murphy O'Schavver! Your new teacher!"

Oh back stories always make me feel better about a character... especially one as complicated as Grimm. I left out some detail so I could use them for later chapters. Also, yes BBB, I'm going to write a more serious chapter. Honestly enough, considering the crazy stuff I write, this one was pretty sane. So... yeah. Life's been pretty good so far. Wow... I'm running out of things to talk about. Oh! The guy who played Horscack from 'Welcome Back, Kotter' passed away today. It was a 70's sitcom. I liked it... man... all the old shows are dying.

I'm serious! I haven't seen Rocko's Modern Life or Invader Zim in a long time now! God I miss the old days... when I would cut on the SciFi channel (Now the SyFy channel.) and watch Mystery Science Theater 3000. Actually it was on Comedy Central before SciFi. Now I either buy a box set, or watch it on Netflix along with all my old shows. So that's what I've been doing lately. Oh I finally got the balls to watch the two season 3 songs that we're release on YouTube for My Little Pony. When I saw the failure one about Twilight I cried. I can't stress it anymore. I cried.

God... I started this show about halfway through season 1 in 2010. Now it's... grown! Everywhere I look... I see more bronies and more people having fun! I mean yeah I helped spread it, but I never knew that a fandom could grow so large. I have to say... I am proud... of every single one of you bronies out there in the world. Not just for hanging in, or ignoring stereotypes about your sexual life... I'm proud of you for making the world a better place for people like me who just don't have much to look forward to anymore... well I mean that's just because I'm in that phase in my life. That phase where I start doubting things for about 2 months. But by then, I'll have a job, have my girl back, and soon enough I'll start a family.

Also... I am now going to do a new segment with my story. Everyday I get like 60 notifications saying I have people favoring my story. I don't see it. I mean I only have 10 thumbs up on the rating. 10. So everyone out there, get an account, and send me a letter! I shall do a new segment involving FAN MAIL every Saturday, and I'll choose the ones I like, and do the commentary on them. If you don't know how to send a letter...then... you have my pity.