Here are True Facts about the Seapony.....

The seapony is named so because it looks like it was made from the mold a small pone, except they ran out of clay before they got to the important parts... Like the parts that help you move.

Mainly propelled by two small fins on its side, the seapony is not the strongest of swimmers. More of an "aggressive floating" behavior. Imagine trying to propel yourself on a scooter solely by wagging your tail back and forth really fast. That is how a seapony do.

Due to its lack of movement skills, seaponies are bottom feeders. Clinging onto whatever crap it can find on the ocean floor, the seahorse has a diet consisting of over 3,000 brine shrimp a day, seaweed, and various bits of top feeder detritus. From this, one can easily infer that brine shrimp are really sh***y at running away.

Much like the changelings, seaponies do not give live birth. Rather, they lay soft smooshy clusters of eggs in long strands which are held together by mucus. These strands are then anchored to a number of stalks of seagrass, where they will mature under the loving and watchful eyes of their parents. And then they might egg make some more together, sometimes going for hours before taking a break, as they shall for the rest of their natural lives. Because, unlike regular pones, seaponies mate beyond life. They mate for death, which doesn't make sense unless you've been f***ed by a seapony.

Here is a quiz:

Which of the following is false?

1. The seapony often performs a duet with its partner before mating.

2. The seapony often mates under the soft light of a full moon.

3. The seapony gives its partner a warm loving hug every morning during their eggs' maturation.

If you said "false" to any of those you're a cynical bastard when it comes to love, because the seapony does all three. So you go out there and find your seapony lover, and don't be afraid to make a commitment for death if you think they're the one. Cause otherwise, you're just gonna die alone at home, entombed by the glow of your tv screen as you binge watch Game of Pones for the third time this week, wondering where my life went wrong.

I-I mean, uh... where your life went wrong.

Author's Notes:

Wiggidy rules.

Zebra

These are true facts about the Zibrahh... What is it? The "Zebra"? Hmm... That word really looked like it was going to be a lot more fun to say.

The zebra is like an ordinary pone that got bodypainted by that weird hippy that lives under the Hearts & Hooves bridge and may or may not be permanently high. High on what I can't say, but it must be real good.

The zebra has an inexplicable compulsion to speak only in rhyming sentences. No one is sure how or why this compulsion exists, though it does get pretty old when you’re trying to talk to them.

The most visually striking aspect of the zebra is its black and white striped coat. They are the only plains walking equines known to have such coloration, and the nature of this design is still in debate among scientists. Some theorize that the striping pattern is intended to provide crypsis, which an organism’s ability to avoid detection or observation by other organisms.

This, however, is pretty much thrown out the window when you remember that zebras are a fairly vocal race. That, and the fact that they’re always rhyming. That gets annoying pretty fast. If you’ve ever had a zebra as a roommate in college, you know exactly what I’m talking about.

Another theory is that the striped patterns are meant as a form of motion camoflage, where the stripes are meant to make it harder for predators to see how far away the zebra is or where it is going. Another similar hypothesis is that stripes may make it harder for predators to single out individual members of the herd through motion dazzle by creating a wagon wheel or barber pole type of visual illusion when the herd is in motion.

I guess the idea is that lions are already half blind anyway, so the zebra evolved stripes to fuck with it and make life that much harder.

Still, others say that the stripes are merely a means of visual cues and identification, and that zebras may find it easier to identify each other based on their individual striping pattern.

But whatever way you slice it, we can all agree on one thing: having stripes is kinda weird, but still cool as hell though.

Just remember, if someone tells you that you dress up like a zebra just say. Your mom. That usually shuts them up.