Little Neaera laid in bed, resting with a plushie of her own father, trying to go to bed. As much as she tried to sleep, she swore she could hear something in her closet. She got up and crept to the closet.

"... Hello?" She asked

"... I'm never coming out." A muffled voice replied. She screamed and ran downstairs to see her parents talking to each other. "He's there! He's there!"

"Ugh... who's there?" Deadpool asked.

"The bad man that lives in my closet."

"Eh, get on outta here that 'scared of the dark' crap! Go on, now, git!"

"Sensitive." Luna glared. Deadpool took a deep sigh and walked over to his daughter, murmuring to himself.

"Sensitive... sensitive..." He leaned down to her height. "You know what you're having? It's called a 'nightmare'. You know what a nightmare is?" Neaera nodded. "Well, that's all this is. Now why don't you run on back to bed so that man can CHOP your little head off!" He swung one his katanas, making Neaera gasp and run away. Luna looked appaled. Deadpool gave an ok sign. "Sensitive!"

"... You call that being 'sensitive'!?" Luna demanded "Let me give you a history of Applejack; both of her parents are gone!"

"Dead, away, or are stranded on a deserted island. I've read the forums and fan theories as to why they haven't been around."

"Well then, you should know that the last thing she needs now is a sadistic father figure scaring the life out of her!"

"Maybe what she needs is for you to pop your nipple outta her mouth, and the gal grow up." Liuna blinked and shook her head.

"Excuse me? What did you just say?"

"I didn't stutter. I said 'Pop your nipple out her mouth, and stop babying her'!"

"I don't call it babying, I call it nurturing."

"And I call it neutering."

And I call you an insecure, overbearing, PSYCHOPATHIC, DICTATORIAL,EGOMANIACAL, FRIGGED LUNATIC, A**HOLE!!!

"... I'm Frigged?" Neaera came into the doorframe.

"He's still there!" She screamed.

"You wanna see nurturing?" Deadpool asked in a very intimidating tone. He turned and followed Neaera, who ran upstairs. She stopped and pointed to her room, where Wade followed and entered her room, stopping at her closet. "Is he in there!?" Neaera nodded. Wade turned to the closet, pulled a desert eagle out, and shot in the closet.

BLAM!!! BLAM!!! BLAM!!! BLAM!!! BLAM!!!

The closet had multiple holes in it now, and many of the castle's subjects jumped and either froze in place, or ran around, screaming in fear.

"If he's still in there," Wade spoke, holstering his gun. "He ain't happy." The closet door opened and out fell the bleeding body of Tom Cruise. "... Oh s**t."

"WILSON!!!" Luna yelled, running upstairs. "What was that!?" Neara ran out with a smile across her face.

"Daddy just terminated that gay man with extreme prejudice!" She exclaimed, followed by Deadpool walking and dragging the body out. "And it was Tom cruise the whole time!" Deadpool leaned down to her.

"Now you go on back to bed, y'hear? That bad man ain't gonna put Scientology in your head anymore." Neaera smiled.

"Thanks, daddy." She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. "I love you." Deadpool froze from the hug. The last time head had received a warm hug like that was from the Hulk, who crushed him in his bare arms and broke all his bones & organs. That's when Deadpool pulled Neaera into a half nelson.

"What choo playin' at, girl!?"

"N-nothing, daddy!"

"You better tell me the truth, or else I'm gonna have to break your arms and use them for my own-"

WHACK!

Deadpool fell to the floor, unconcious. Luna had just used a frying pan to knock out her husband. She nuzzled her own daughter.

"I'm sorry, but your father's not used to positive reinforcements just yet." She simply spoke. "Now go on back to bed, seems I have to put your father back in bed, and clean his mess... again." she sighed as she used her magic to pick up Wade and the corpse.

Author's Notes:

Might do a couple of extras along the way. Aplogies for not uploading a whole lot. Kinda hard to work without transcripts.