The Daughter of Deadpool.
by MrAquino
First published
After the events of Deadpool in Equestria, a new hero emerges: Deadpool's... daughter?
Deadpool has done it all: He's battled against and won some battles, survived those he lost, traveled through dimensions, and has saved Equestria. Unfortunately, this isn't about him. This is however, around-
HI MRAQUINO!!!
What the-!? How'd you get here!?
You door was unlocked, silly! Ooh! Is that me!? I'm looking really awesome! Dad would be proud! Ooh! Who's that? A fan!?
...Yeah... see folks, when Deadpool saved Equestria, Princess Luna got pregnant because of that and, we have her as the protagonist. Say hello to the readers, Neaera.
Hi Readers! Please, call me by my superhero name, "Lunacy"!
Uh... Neaera... why are you-?
See, I'm a hero in training, but I want to be the best superhero of all time! Sure my dad's a bad guy sometimes, but he's not a 'bad guy', and my mom wants me to do the boring, paper stuff of princesshood, but that's boooring!!! I wanna have fun while I do the right thing!
Neaera.
Of course, it's gonna be tough, but I know that with my determination, I can make a great name for Mary Sues everywhere, whatever that means.
Neaera!
Oh! And don't worry, I'll have plenty of time with my dad, why, believe it or not, I'm actually-
NEAERA!!!
Yes, sir?
Why don't you go back to your story? Build that time machine you and your dad are making?
Okie Dokie Loki! ... Man... he's so hot.
Ugh... please... enjoy the sequel
A word from Deadpool
...Ah! Hello there! Deadpool here. Yes, I too can't believe that I'm already getting a sequel! Man, the author here is just dying to make this! "How did you get a daughter?", I hear you asking. Well, without too much spoilers on my own incomplete story, and from the words of Mr.Bean himself, Magic. And, before MrAquino interrupted what my daughter was going to say, though she looks like she's around her 20's, she's in fact, only three years old. ...Oh yeah! Think about that. Creepy, isn't it? But you'll see her major defining events, struggles, and overall, weirdness through her childhood... or lack thereof. Or would she still be a child? Eh, who cares, but don't sweat it. And, something you should know, don't worry, she's not exactly me 2.0 with every known ability and character trait that makes up me. As you read, she's sorta like me, but not exactly. The author will do the appropriate changes. And, as you can see, there's a sex tag above, next to the Gore tags, both next to the rest of the tags. For the sex, this is more or less for references, and, again, don't worry, she's going to be well protected against those guys, and there will be some bloody bits here, just not now. So please, sit down, relax, and enjoy the tale of my weird as hell daughter becoming the next superhero back in my world! Oops! Spoilers! And if you're wondering, I'm actually from the very far future, near the end of this story, and my little pony-human hybrid is doing her new hero duty. Heh... Duty. And I am aware that my story, Deadpool in Equestria, isn't finished. I am going to make sure that he finishes it, but also keep it wide open for open interpretations, since some of the best sequels have that, like Aliens, Terminator 2, and, Star Wars: The Force awakens. Hopefully, this doesn't fail like Speed 2, Baby Geniuses 2,and, most recently, Ride Along 2.
Now, to help make sure that this officially a thousand words long, I'd like to make a shout out to FrostTheWolf's own Tats-PWNY-Verse-ish story ,Rogue Chaos. Give it a read, MrAquino's helping him out, and there's not a lot of views on it. It's Deadpool approved, so it's gotta be good! But, to prove that I'm still the narcissistic guy that you and I love, have you checked out Bart Baker's parody of Rihanna's "Work"? Click on the green words to see it right now if you haven't, but if you did, wasn't I great at the ending!? Why was she slurring all the time, though? And if she hadn't ducked, or if I was closer, then maybe, we'd have someone better running for presidency... like me! But, don't worry, let's get this show on the road. We're gonna do the news, marriage, and birth chapters, so yes, it is gonna be a bit of a drag, but you gotta drag yourself to get to the good stuff! Like Leonardo DiCaprio getting the Oscar for The Revenant.
The News
Deadpool did it. Equestria was saved. It had been a long time, and the final battle wasn't easy, but with his friends, all from different dimensions and versions of Equestria themselves, the world was, though destroyed, was now saved. After drinking hard, somehow with his costume still on, and passing out, all of his friends left him alone in his house, each taking a piece of an infinity stone with them, probably the only smart thing Deadpool did to make sure Equestria would be safe once again. Then, the door opened. In came in was Princess Luna, one of the rulers of Equestria. Many of the ponies, including Deadpool himself, found her to be the most beautiful thing to live: she was surrounded with dark blue fur, her mane & tail both flowed while looking like the night sky itself, and, despite being over 1000 years old, excluding her time banished on the moon, she looked young. Next to Luna was nurse Redheart; a white earth pony mare with a pink mane that was one of local nurses of Ponyville, the place where Deadpool lived. Both navigated the landmine of filth to a snoring Deadpool.
"Deadpool?" Luna spoke. She poked him. "Deadpool. Wake up."
"...In a while, mom." Deadpool snored
"Deadpool! Wake up!"
"...Five... more minutes."
"...Deadpool! You're getting a sequel!" Deadpool snorted awake.
"A sequel!? Where!? I want one! I want it now!"
"Deadpool. Focus on me!" He turned to Luna.
"Oh! 'Sup Mooncheeks? Here to give me my reward for saving you?" He leaned down and rested. "I'm ready when you are."
"Deadpool, this is serious."
"What? I'll clean this place up, but, other than that, you're not happy that I saved the world from that jackass trying to destroy you all? ...Okay, so he kinda won... but my friends and I kicked his ass! And with all the feels I got, with that powerful magic I had surging through me, I knew you all had to live! Even the ones we may dislike."
"Yes... you told me that, already. But, Deadpool, do you see anything wrong with me?" Deadpool examined her.
"Hm... everything's where it should be... oh! Luna! What have you been eating!?" True to his word, Luna's belly was slightly bloated. "I know I say that your cheeks should be bigger, but not like this! Alright, tomorrow, we're both going to-"
"Deadpool... I'm pregnant." Deadpool stared quietly.
"Oh... well... congratulations! Who's the daddy!?"
"You."
"...Me?"
"Yes. You're the father, Wade." Deadpool blinked, but snickered, then laughed.
"HAHAHAHAHA!!! GOOD ONE!!! I take back on everything you said on being serious, that's HILARIOUS!!!"
"DEADPOOL!!! This is serious! You're the father!"
"Pfft! Yeah right! I'm sterile, remember?"
"...Nurse?" Redheart stood next to Luna and held up an xray to Deadpool. He took the picture and examined it.
"As you can see," Redheart pointed out. "the head is definitely that of a pony, but the body... it's that of... well... a human, as yourself, Mr. Wilson."
"Oh please!" He replied "Anyone can do this! I mean, it's not like-" Luna grunted to herself in pain. "Uh... what's wrong?"
"Nothing..." Luna replied, then glared to him "except that the baby is acting up!"
"That's not my kid! I'm telling ya! Discord!" The lord of Chaos, Discord, appeared next to Deadpool. With a snap, Luna was laying on one of her sides as Discord pulled out an X-Ray.
"Hm... let's see here." He examined, but his face went blank. He turned to Deadpool. "Is is yours."
"WHAT!?!?!?" Deadpool looked through the X-ray. He saw it; the head of a foal, but the body of a human baby. Deadpool's face went pale. "...Oh f**k me." He looked to Luna. "So... Guess we're going to change a couple of things around the house?"
"Castle." She corrected.
"What!? But-!?"
"But nothing! As much as it pains me, but... Deadpool... I know that we weren't happy with each other."
"'We?'"
"Fine... I wasn't happy with you, but... Please... We have to love this child together. Deadpool... Can you control yourself?" Deadpool blinked, but let out a sigh of defeat.
"You know... I was thinking of giving up my crazy ways of life. Perhaps meet a therapist, adopt a foal myself, possibly a Thestral, but... I was planning this a long time, ever since I saw your redesign in season 2." He pulled out a wedding ring. "Princess Luna? Will you marry me!?" Everyone gasped. Luna stared.
"D-Deadpool... You... You wanted to marry me!?"
"Of course!"
"Oh... Wade! I do! Come here!"
"Woo hoo!!!" Deadpool leaned in, took his mask off, grabbed the back of Luna's head, and they kissed each other passionately. It ended quickly as the nurse and draconequis gagged at the sight, and Luna wincing. "Oh God! I'm so sorry!"
"It's... Okay. Ugh... I've never had a child before. Is it this painful?"
"It is, your majesty." the nurse spoke. "You're going to experience many changes. Weight is one, but you're going to receive many cravings, and... Other things."
"Oh. Deadpool? Can you-?"
"Of course." Deadpool replied. He carefully picked up the Princess, straining himself from her weight, and teleported away. They arrived to Luna's chambers, where he set her onto her bed. "Oof! You are much heavier with that baby! Oh man, I hope it's not like me!"
"I hope so too. Don't want another you running around the house." Deadpool stared. "What is it?"
"Oh God... I'm the father of a Mary Sue."
"A Mary what?"
"A MARY SUE!!! AAAAUHHH!!!" He ran out of the room and around the castle. Many of the staff members just blinked and stared at Deadpool's behavior, but shrugged; he's practically a member here. Some of the guards approached to Luna.
"...Strange.... Now I want tacos."
"T-Tacos, your majesty?" One of the guards asked
"Yes. And perhaps some... Chimichangas."
"...Something tells me that this kid is REALLY going to be like Mr. Wilson." Another guard commented.
"Please, I think that this is just a faze. Hopefully, the child will be like me."
The Wedding
The news of Luna's pregnancy quickly spread around all parts of Equestria. Many of the ponies had the same question: Who impregnated her? What happened? When did she get pregnant? Where did they do it? Why would this happen? How did this happen? Of course, all of these questions weren't answered, but everypony soon learned that it was Deadpool's kid, despite being sterile. Of course, the news did not land well with Celestia.
Deadpool looked over his checklist of all the things they needed for the wedding. It was true that most ponies find him to be calm and funny, but the news here... Deadpool was panicking on the inside. Deadpool was sterile ever since he not only had cancer, but when he gained his superpowers from the Weapon X program, but the evidence shown was all there; he's going to be a father. True, he was pretty good with kids, but they were short and he knew the fillies thanks to the show, but his baby... it was unknown of whether or not she was going to be like him, Luna, or a mix of both. Then the door knocked.
"Ooh! Pizza!" He said to himself. He ran and opened the door, only to meet Celestia. "AH!!! SUN BUTT!!!"
"Deadpool..." Celestia said in her low voice. "We need to talk."
"Uh oh... I don't like this. L-look, P.C., I never thought that this would-"
"Neither did I."
"...Really?"
"Yes. But, Deadpool... I do thank you and your friends for saving Equestria, and the many moments of feats you've done on your own, but this... this is going to be a new chapter in your life."
"...Yeah... I know that."
"Don't be so down, Wade. A new chapter means a new opening for you. Your daughter... it's strange, but, with the right parenting from both of you, I'm certain that your child will just be as great as you... and a bit more tamed."
"Y-yeah. Princess?"
"Yes?"
"I'm... I'm scared."
"Scared? You? Why?"
"Well... it's kinda obvious. I'm not much of a parenting type guy. I know I'm loyal to anyone I love, that part I got right, but... I don't want to screw up my kid's life, Celestia. I mean... what if she's butt ugly like me? Or better yet-" He took his mask off, showing his face again. "Look at me... does this look like the face of a father? Of course not... this is the face of a guilty man that killed Prince with crying doves." Celestia gave a rather confused look, but shook her head.
"What your experiencing is actually normal, Deadpool. I understand that you're afraid, but don't let it consume you. I know it's going to be tough, but, knowing you, you'll pull through. And, though I don't really want to quote it, but, as you said to yourself and your friends, "Give it your Maximum Effort."" Deadpool looked up to Celestia. she gave him a wink. He smiled and delivered a hug.
"Aw, thanks! I almost forgot about my line! Say... is everything for our wedding prepared."
"Of course."
"Without Changeling attacks?"
"We are now prepared. Now, you should head out and prepare for your marriage, Wade. I'll meet with you."
"Oh S**T!!! Thanks!" Deadpool quickly grabbed his suit and ran out.
The wedding was outside in Canterlot's gardens. Everyone associated with Canterlot royalty, or close, was all on Luna's side, the right side of the room, while everyone else from Ponyville & other locations were on the other as Deadpool's 'family'. The Taco squad stood with Deadpool; Pinkie in her canterlot wedding dress, Surprise in a matching dress, Sonata in a gown that made her look like a mermaid, Fluffle Puff wearing a bowtie with monocle & tophat, and Discord was in his gala outfit. Deadpool stood in his suit, nervously standing while waiting for the wedding to start. Then, the music began.
Deadpool watched as Princess Luna walked around the corner of one of the hedges in her wedding gown. Though her dress hid it, Deadpool could see that her belly was still bloated, probably a bit bigger than last time within the month. Just seeing her walk to them with the music playing made him sweat hard... and let out some small farts that, luckily, were silent, and the smell was blown away. In fact, were it not for his suit being slightly loose, many ponies would easily point out the boner he had. In a yellow flash, Celestia appeared behind the stand. as Luna stood next to Deadpool. He was now screaming internally.
"Mares and gentlecolts," Celestia began "we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of my sister, Princess Luna, and the savior of Equestria, Wade Wilson, or Deadpool, as we know him. Do you both know your vows?"
"Yes, sister." Luna replied, turning to Deadpool "Deadpool, I love you, and I know that you love me. Because of this, I desire to be your wife. For many years, I have prayed that Faust would lead me to her choice and I am confident that her will is being fulfilled tonight. Through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future, I promise to be faithful to you. I will love, serve, and obey you as long as we both are alive. Faust told us that the wife must submit herself unto her own husband as unto her. For as Faust is Head of Her Church, so is the husband head of his wife. Deadpool, I submit myself to you."
"...What she said." Deadpool spoke. Celestia noticeably groaned.
"Okay... may we have the rings?" she said, getting back a smile. Deadpool and Luna pulled out their rings. He placed his ring around her horn, and Luna placed her ring around his right right finger. "I now present to you, man and mare. You may kiss the bride." Deadpool pulled the bottom of his mask off, gently held Luna, and delivered a passionate kiss. The crowd from both sides cheered, though it was true that the smarter ponies and 'Old school' ones internally gagged at the sight of a human and Princess kissing each other. They stopped kissing.
"So... what now, princess?" Deadpool asked
"Hm... Netflix and chill?"
"Ooh! Kinky!!!"
The two binge watched Daredevil.
"...What?" Deadpool asked "she's pregnant, okay? You can't f**k someone who's pregnant; that'll hurt the baby! Speaking of baby; when does it come out?"
"The doctor said in a few months." Luna replied "Oof... can you get me some more tacos?"
"Of course, my sweet Mooncheeks." Deadpool got up to the kitched
"And stop calling me that!"
"Only when the baby's out!
The Delivery
It's been over three months since their marriage, and Luna's belly was swollen. She now had trouble walking, and Deadpool, being an actual gentleman, picked her up and carried her around. In his mind, Luna was probably the best weight he ever lifted, but he was easily snapped back into reality as he remembered that this was both Luna and his wife. The two had came back from some tacos, something Deadpool loved and hated now; loved because this was their time to escape responsibilities & get something to eat, hated because of... Luna's smells everynight... and it's not his fault from the smell & the fact that her flank was really soft. The two reentered the castle, only for everything to be dark. Then the lights turned on.
"SURPRISE!!!" Deadpool jumped back as the Taco Squad, Mane 6, Celestia, Cadence & Shining Armor, Stuffy & Crazy, Cable, Weasel, Bob, and Blind Al jumped from behind... well... except for Al.
"Did I miss it?" She asked "Crap."
"What the-!?" Luna yelled in shock "Wha-What is this!?"
"It's a baby Shower, sister." Celestia said
"Baby Shower? But the baby isn't here yet." Celestia giggled
"No, sister. A baby shower is like... a birthday for an expected mother. We all have gifts for the baby, and some tools you can use to help."
"Ooh! Presents!" Deadpool said. He lifted Luna, teleported, and gently placed her on the throne.
"Why thank you, Deadpool." Luna said. "How does this work?"
"You just open gifts everyone sent ya. And I'm quite surprised you guys made it!"
"W-well you've been gone for a while, Wade." Bob replied "It's been boring since you did something."
"But I'm glad you took some responsibility." Cable spoke "Though I just hope the baby's fine."
"If he can risk his life to save Vanessa without me," Weasel spoke, drinking from a flask "then he can raise a kid. Wouldn't you agree, Al?"
"God I miss Cocaine." she muttered to herself.
"PRESENT TIME!!!" Pinkie and surprise cheered in unison.
"I think we should be last," Discord suggested to the Taco squad "after all, we have the best gift!"
"Maybe," Deadpool said "but, I'm fine with that."
"I guess I'll go first." Twilight said, walking to her with her gift. "Princess Luna, I'm certain that you have a beautiful singing voice, so this will do." Luna opened her gift. "It's a book of nursery rhymes. Babies tend to be loud at night, so this will help."
"Oh, thank you, Twilight." Luna said with a smile
"A book!?" Cable yelled in shock "Alright, this will do you two!" He pulled out a large, futuristic looking crib. "The Cribs-a-lot 4000. Complete with self rocking, diaper changing, mattress & bed cleaner, and, best of all, a screen to help her get the skills needed for a job."
"Ooh! Working around the job system?" Deadpool asked "Nice! Now she can already have the experience for a job needed that won't offer the experience! ... Is that normal here in Equestria?"
"I highly doubt it." Luna said.
The gifts passed by: from Weasel, it was a tablet with those weird nursery rhyme videos installed, mostly as a way to keep the baby shut up as they shopped or did anything. Bob gave the two a plushie of himself, though, with Deadpool, he wanted a way to make the plushie into a voodoo doll. Rainbow Dash gave them both her own personal guitar when she was a foal, no doubt believing that their kid could be as a musician as Deadpool. Applejack gave them a cookbook on Apple based recipes. Rarity, meanwhile, gave them some pajamas for the baby, hearing that it was humanoid in shape, but she left a 'Butthole' if the baby had a tail, along with some holes for if it had wings. Fluttershy gave the two some of her birds & squirrels, which, though the two were surprised, were calmed to know that the animals were going to watch over her & do their best to make sure the baby was unharmed. Celestia gave Luna her old crown & necklace that she wore as a filly herself. Stuffy and Crazy, the gentlemen & the insane one, offered themselves to be babysitters, free of charge. Blind Al... she also offered herself to be the babysitter, and was better suit than Crazy & stuffy.
The Taco squad all snickered to themselves.
"Alright," Deadpool said with a smile. "What is it that you got our kid?"
"THIS!!!" They all cheered. Appearing in a puff of smoke was... another Deadpool costume, but different. The first and most noticeable difference was that, instead of it being red as his costume, it was light blue. The second thing he noticed was that, on each hip, there was a crescent moon. The mask had a pointed top, probably for their kid's ears, but a hole was around the forehead, back, and... the butt.
"What... the f**k... is that?" Luna growled.
"It's your child's suit!" Sonata spoke We thought of this ever since the news came out, but we wanted to be prepared."
"Yeah!" Pinkie added "And we've tested it out! Like Edna Mode!"
"Plus, as an added feature." Surprise added "Discord's magic has made sure that it will grow & fit onto your child perfectly, as well as seal it's holes if it doesn't have one, two, or all three features!"
"It was easy." Discord said with a smirk. "And, who knows, maybe your baby will be..." He and the rest of the members stopped and cowered as Luna was growling noticeably, her face red with anger & steaming.
"DOES THOUEST BELIEVE THAT THY CHILD WILL BE LIKE THY HUSBAND!?!?!? MY CHILD WILL NOT BE RICK HER LIFE FOR THE SAKE OF YOUR IDEAS OF 'FUN'!!! SHE'LL- AUGH!!!" Luna fell to the floor, painfully.
"Luna!!!" Deadpool yelled, picking her up. "Oh no! Luna! LUNA!!! Look! it's just an idea, okay!? It's not gonna be like me! For all we know, it-"
"THE BABY!!! I THINK IT'S COMING OUT!!!"
"WHAT!?!?!?" Everyone yelled.
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
"OH S**T!!!" Deadpool picked up Luna and they teleported away! The hospital staff were caught off guard, seeing Deadpool and Luna in labor. "SOMEONE!!! HELP!!! BABY!!!"
"GAH!!! F**K!!! THIS HURST LIKE HELL!!!" The staff ran and took the two to the maternity ward. In their room, the doctor & some nurses put on their scrubs & masks. Deadpool held onto Luna's hoof.
"Come on baby! Push!!! Push!!!"
"I'M... TRYING!!!"
"COME ON!!! PUSH IT!!! PUSH IT LIKE-" Luna's magic gripped Deadpool by his throat, choking him.
"DON'T... USE... YOUR REFERENCES!!!"
"...okay." He wheezed. Then, Luna let out a scream that was so much louder than her royal Canterlot voice. To explain how loud it was, Somewhere, in the galaxy, Starlord, the leader of the Guardians of the Galaxy, woke up from his sleep.
"Mom!?" He asked.
Back in Equestria, The Doctor & Deadpool were blown right out of the room, though the nurses ducked down from the loud scream. Luna felt a large sign of relief from her body. The nurses peeked up. One of them was a unicorn and picked up the child.
"It's a filly!" She said. Luna's sight was too fuzzy to see her daughter, but the child wasn't making any noise. Deadpool came in.
"Oh god!" He yelled "I missed it, didn't I!?" He looked at their child. "Oh... oh God. She's... beautiful!"
"I-I can't see." Luna replied weakly "Wh-what does she look like?"
"Give her here." Deadpool said. The nurse gave him his daughter. "She has the head of a pony & the body of a human, as we saw. She's... covered in tan fur... no tail or wings, yet has hands & feet like a human's. Has a blue horn, surprisingly... seems to have the front part of my hair when I was young... yet has your mane in the back. Nurse... why is she silent?"
"We did everything we could." The nurse said "We... we don't think she's-"
"No! She's going to be fine." He turned his attention to his daughter "Usted es un Wilson. Usted es un guerrero. ¡Lucha!" The baby stayed still, but, after a few seconds, she kicked her legs... tried to grab the air with her arms... threw a right hook... and nodded her head. The boby opened her mouth and cried. "YES!!! Listen! She has a fine set of lungs!"
"Oh... Thank goodness!" Luna said, tearing up. "What are we going to name her? Something that isn't idiotic?"
"Of course, Luna. I already know the perfect name: Neaera!"
"Nearea? That's... that's perfect!"
"Thank you. Greek Goddess of the moon, a species of moth, a plant genus from the amaryllis family, a-"
"GIVE ME MY F***ING BABY!!!"
"AHH!!! Okay! Calm down!" Deadpool sat next to Luna. They both saw their child stop crying and opening her eyes; her right eye was orange like Deadpool's, while her left was Luna's blue eye. "Huh... she has your eye."
"Indeed. But... what is she like? Oh please... don't be an idiot like me!"
"I'm pretty sure she won't be like you."
"D...D-" Neaera spoke.
"Oh my god!" Deadpool said "She's already saying her first word!"
"Told you she was going to be like me." Luna said with a smirk.
"Thank god! Come on! Say Da-Da' Or Daddy!"
"D...D..." Neaera spoke, but said something that caught both off guard. "DAMN DANIEL!!! Back at it again with the white vans!!!" Her parents blinked and stared.
"I spoke too soon." Luna sighed. "Looks like she's your child."
"My child!?" Deadpool replied "Hell no! I don't want my kid spewing dank memes!"
"Well it looks like she's not going to make either of us happy!"
"My thoughts exactly!"
"F**k her right in the p***y!" Neaera shouted.
"LANGUAGE!!!" Deadpool and Luna yelled in unison.
Author's Notes:
Well... this has got to be the strangest child born. More will come, and with less dankness.
Strange Child growth
Neaera was already weird, being pretty much the only firstborn pony-human hybrid in Equestria, her first words were pretty much inappropriate (and dank to Deadpool), and she aged too fast. Excluding her fist words after birth, Neaera babbled, but spoke like a real baby after only 26 days. This was strange for the two parents as they saw their child speak after a short time.
"Deadpool?" Luna asked "It is... normal for your babies to speak at this young age?"
"Nope." Deadpool answered "They usually take 6 months to speak. I think this is the work of her pony side."
"...Expain."
"Well, from what I remember, Pound and Pumpkin Cake spoke after being a month old, even if they did say 'Pinkie Pie' in their sleep. Movement, however, I think will take a bit longer."
"Why is that? Part of a human thing?"
"Bingo! Our babies take at least 9 to 12 months to begin their first steps, then 14 to 17 months to walk like pros! Then it varies to see who'll lose their will to walk and instead use those scooters to move around, saying they have a disability. I sure as hell hope our child doesn't become those fatasses."
"Huh... you admit that you humans are lazy?"
"Not all the time. Why, if I were THAT lazy, then we wouldn't be together with our little girl/filly." Luna blushed and smiled.
"Aw, thank you, Wade." They hugged each other.
"So... with our little Neaera asleep... you wanna-"
"Not today. I'm still hurt from giving birth to her, though I doubt you know that."
"Luna, I've been impaled, stabbed, shanked, crushed, mutilated, mauled, f'd over multiple times! You think I don't know what I went through to match your pain, then you had never stepped on a Lego brick." He shuttered. "The Lego Brick... so much pain."
Strange enough, after 13 days, Neaera was walking around on her legs, balancing and walking like a human. True, she needed help, but both Deadpool & Luna, encouraging her to walk to them, were surprised to see her walk so fast, especially from what Deadpool said. Neaera approached, but fell to Deadpool. He quickly snagged her.
"GOTCHA!!!" He said. "Already walking, eh!? I wouldn't be surprised if you're going to walk around like me in the future!" Luna exited from her room, seeing her two most important subjects in her life. She smiled, seeing how Deadpool was, very surprisingly, a good father, even with his troubled past.
"Alright," she said "enough. Are you hungry, Neaera?"
"Ah!" She replied.
"Alright. Why don't you take your nap?"
"NUU!!! No Naps!"
"She kinda has a point." Deadpool said "I mean, when you get older, you want the naps, don't cha?"
"Not helping." Luna spoke with her teeth shut.
"I know, but are you here to talk about her... fast growth?"
"...How did you-?"
"My future self came to me last night and told me about her aging!"
"...You... future... self?"
"Yep! Like Twilight with herself, minus the drama! Turns out, though our baby is a human-pony mix, our magic & abilities are inside of her, and, due to some weird thing, that leads to her to age fast! In face, myself gave me the chart of what to expect!" He pulled out a large chart. "Yep! According to my future selves statistics, every 4.35 days equals a month for her!"
"A month!?"
"Yep, and, approximately, 52.1428571429 days means an entire year for her."
"Mother of my sister! She's growing TOO fast!"
"Yep, and... by the end of the year... she's going to look like a seven year old!"
"She ages seven times faster than a normal child!?"
"Yep! And that's why I have assigned her in Cheerilee's school already." Luna's face went pale. Deadpool placed Neaera on the floor and walked to his wife. "Hey, what's wrong? Aren't you glad that I did the smart stuff without a calculator? ...Okay, It was from my future self, but-"
"Deadpool... does that mean..." She teared up "our child won't live long?"
"What!? No!!! Of course not! ... I hope so." Luna bawled "L-Luna!? Calm down, please!?"
"OUR CHILD'S GONNA PASS AWAY SOONER THAN EXPECTED!!! MY BABY!!! MY SWEET, LITTLE-" Deadpool slapped her.
"Will you snap out of it!? This isn't the time to panic." Luna was flabbergasted "Ooh! Fancy!" She turned to Deadpool with a growl.
"Did thouest just slap a princess!?"
"Yes, and I'll do it again." He slapped her with the other hand. "There, now, hear me out. What is it that you and I have? Or, at least, what does every Alicorn share?"
"...Immortality."
"Correct. And, what do I have?"
"...Insanity?" she asked sarcastically.
"Besides that."
"A collection of weapons that you'll need to get rid of to let the baby live safely."
"Hey, I'll get rid of them soon enough. But, no."
"A huge, flapping, d-" Deadpool placed his hands over Deadpool's mouth, shushing her.
"Not in front of the baby! And, yes, I have THAT, but I'm more or less talking about my healing factor."
"...Right. And what does that do?"
"Well, considering I got m healing factor from Wolverine himself, and she has both mine, his, and your DNA, there's a chance that when she reaches her young adulthood, not only will she no longer age, but she's gonna be nigh invincible!"
"...Invincible?"
"Invincible! My healing factor, your magic, combined to something adorable... WE CAN RULE THE WORLD LIKE GODS!!!"
"I'm already one, Wade, and she's not going to a tyrannical psychopath, but a princess like me."
"...A princess? Really? As adorable as it is to imagine our daughter to dress up like something from Disney, I think that she's going to enjoy my type of life; the badass, anti-hero life!"
"OH NO!!! She it NOT going to live your idiot lifestyle, Wade! She is going to be a responsible leader!"
"Who punishes herself for a mistake by making a monster?"
"SHUT UP!!! We already chatted with that!"
"Heh, yeah, and I'm gonna tell her that it's alright to make mistakes; just learn from them and take the punches thrown at you."
"She will be a great contributor to society!!!"
"She's gonna help herself!"
"Save millions!"
"Save those she loves!"
"Have security!"
"Secure herself!" Both stared at each other, then grabbed each other, fell to the floor, and made out again. Neaera, meanwhile, baby walked her way through an open hole. She walked around for a bit, some of the ponies stopping and staring at the child. Some of the ponies just stood still, others backed away from her, and others... were preparing their convenient nets. Celestia landed near the child, making everypony stop & bow to her. She looked at Neaera, who, in turn, looked at her. Celestia couldn't help but smile.
"What are you doing out here?" she asked, lowering her head to her. "Hm... you've grown quite fast for being less than a year old. It's no wonder why my sister kept me from seeing you. Come along, your parents must be worried."
"S-sun... butt." Neaera said. Celestia blinked, but sighed.
"You really are Deadpool's child." She used her magic and carried the baby. "Hopefully, you're like your mother." she flapped her powerful wings and went back to the castle... only to see Deadpool and Luna making out without any of their clothes on. "Ugh! Really!?"
"F**K HER RIGHT IN THE P***Y!!!"
"LANGUAGE!!!"
Education
After 222 days, something Deadpool kept track of, their little Neaera, despite being less than a year old, was already five years old. Of course, through the time, Luna was quite astonished to see how correct Deadpool was with his math, but wasn't too happy with-
UGH!!! Why are we wearing this!? it's soo itchy!!!
"What was that!?" Deadpool asked in shock.
Apologies for my... assistant's complaint. Allow me to introduce us: I am-
"Dad, meet Sir Artimis the blue and Vaprak the red." Neaera interrupted. Deadpool blinked.
"...Honey!" He yelled
"What!?" Luna replied, taking her morning bath.
"Our daughter has voices in her head!"
"...What!?"
"She's crazy! Like me!!!"
She's not crazy, I am!
That's one thing we can agree on. And don't worry, Father, we're going to make sure she's going to do well.
"Yeah, and unlike you, dad," Neaera added "they both shut up!"
"...So that's why I never heard them until now!" Deadpool said. "Now, just stand still, we gotta get this dress on." Neaera groaned. Her dress was like- "Many SFW drawings, sicko!"
"Da~ddy! Do I have to? I'm already covered in fur like mommy. And who are you talking to?"
"Nothing, and, yes, mommy is covered in fur, but she's different, and so are you. And... TA-DA!!! You're so adorable!!!"
"...Daddy?"
"Yes?"
"Why do you wear a mask?"
"...what do you mean? This is my real face."
That's a lie from a mile away.
"Oh yeah!? How do you know, bluey?"
There's an obvious strap on the back of your head.
And mother says we have your eye. Our eye isn't white, but orange & blue!
"...Well... I'll tell you when you're older." He replied, extending his hand to her. "Come on; it's time for class."
"Okay." She held his hand with her own. The two teleported to Cheerilee's school in ponyville, with class just starting.
"There we go. Now you go in, behave yourself, and have a good day! HUG!!!" Deadpool gave her a deep hug. She didn't see it, but he was tearing up.
"...Dad... you can let go."
"Sorry." He released her. "You better get inside, though. And remember: Maximum Effort! I'll see ya after school."
"Are gonna f-"
"Don't. Say. That. It was adorable as a baby, but now, it makes me look like a bad parent. I'll come back after school, and, if not, then Crazy & Stuffy will." He rustled her mane/hair "Now make me proud today!" He teleported away. Neaera turned to the front door of the school and took a deep breath.
"Maximum Effort." She walked and entered the classroom. In the class, there was a purple mare with a pink & dark pink striped mane, who Neaera could tell was Ms. Cheerilee, and there was a bunch of other students. The noise of the students stopped as she entered. The students stared at her, some whispering to each other.
"Ah! Hello there!" Cheerilee greeted with a warm smile. "Class, we have a new student today! Care to introduce yourself?" Neaera stared at Cheerilee, then to the class, who stared at her. She began to sweat a bit. "Come on, don't be nervous."
Remember: Maximum effort.
And just imagine them naked!
They are naked.
...oh
"Uh... um... oh... 21!!!" Neaera blurted out. The class laughed. Her head & ears drooped as she really messed this up.
"Alright, children." Cheerilee spoke, silencing the kids "Let's not laugh at her. Please, take a seat." If Neaera could, she'd wear a hoodie to cover her head as she took a seat, right behind a yellow earth pony filly with a red mane. She wasn't sure if this was great... but she noticed something that made her feel... different. All of these foals didn't have hands like her, nor feet, & were completely naked. A couple wore something, from glasses to hats, but, other than that, they were completely natural. While a couple had wings, a horn, or neither, they all have tails covering their butts. She looked at her own, seeing no tail at all. Then she remembered her mother's look; she was like these fillies, albeit, older & beautiful.
"Why am I so different?" she asked herself.
"Psst!" She heard someone speaking to her. She turned to see an orange pegasus with a purple mane turned to her "Hi, I'm Scootaloo. Sorry if we laughed at you, miss...?"
"Uh... N-Neaera."
"Neaera?" A white unicorn filly with a poofy mane asked "That's a weird name."
"A name's a name, girls." The yellow filly spoke "Sorry 'bout mah friends. Name's Applebloom, and that's Sweetie Belle. Ah ain't seen anything like you before. New?"
"Y-you could say that." Neaera replied with a nervous chuckle. The other fillies giggled at her response. Neaera smiled and felt a bit more comfortable with them.
"So, where are you from?" Sweetie Belle asked
"Canterlot."
"That far? Wow! My sister would love to meet you!"
"You remind of someone, Neaera." Scootaloo said "In fact... you look a bit like Luna."
"Oh, thank you for noticing. Princess Luna is my mom." The fillies just stared at her. "...What?"
"Uh... is your dad... Deadpool?" Applebloom asked.
"I... don't think so. But he wears red all the time with some black, and he has a mask with white eyes, but-"
"YOU'RE THE DAUGHTER OF DEADPOOL!?!?!?" The three asked in unison.
And Roll credits.
Hang on! I wanna see where this goes!
The class stopped and turned to Neaera. She looked around, more whispering went around.
"Uh... hi?" She replied.
Neaera was the center of attention during recess. Many of the kids kept asking her the same questions.
"What's it like being a hybrid?"
"Do you have a healing factor as well?"
"Can you use your magic?"
"Have any special talents?"
"Are you single?"
Neaera couldn't help but feel overwhelmed by the amount of questions asked. Well, except for one.
"Are you going to be like your mom or dad?" asked a filly.
"...Wait? Be like my mom or dad?" she asked
"Yeah! Your Mom and Dad are actually pretty opposite. Your mother's a princess, and you dad's a... whatever he is!"
"He's a violent and dangerous thing!" Another foal said "I saw him fight and unalived Tirek!"
"Well I saw him fight a bunch of changelings once!"
"He took on a couple of dragons by himself!"
"He and some other freaks saved this world!"
"Hold on!" Neaera shouted "Freaks?"
"...Ya'll don't know what he did?" Applebloom asked
"Well... no. My dad has-"
"He saved the world!" A foal interupted
"Is a friend to us!"
"Made our lives a bit more exciting!"
"He's Pinkie Pie X10!!!"
"HEY!!!" Pinkie shouted, appearing out of a tree before disappearing.
"...What's your special talent?" Another foal asked
"My... talent?" Neaera asked.
"Yeah! What are you good at? what's your cutie mark, and what do you want to do?"
"I... I... cutie mark?"
"Yeah! This!" They all showed their flanks, with their own Cutie Mark showing, each different & unique. She blinked.
"Uh... I don't... have... one."
"It's okay," Sweetie Belle said "not everypony finds their cutie mark immediately. Look at us; we didn't find our cutie marks immediately."
"Anything's possible!" Scootaloo added. "Why, I think you can be like your father!"
"Without the craziness and profanity?" Applebloom added.
"Uh... what did my father exactly... do?" Neaera asked.
"...it's best you ask him yourself."
Class ended, and Neaera waited outside the classroom. She saw Crazy & stuffy arrive; crazy looked just as insane as she imagined, but Stuffy looked like a gentleman.
"Neaera?" Stuffy asked
"Yeah?" She replied
"Your mother and father are 'busy' at the moment, so you'll have to stay with us for the night."
"By busy, do you mean-?" Crazy asked
"Yes... that. Come along!" Neaera picked up her stuff and followed the two.
"Uh... guys?" she asked
"Yeah?" both stuffy & crazy asked in unison.
"What did my dad do before I was born?" Both paused.
"A lot of things." Stuffy answered
"Awesome things!" Crazy added
"Yes, but reckless."
"Reckless!? HA!!! They were fun!!!"
"They endangered some lives."
"Yeah, but those lives are fine, aren't they?"
"Not in the slightest."
"What did he do?" Neaera asked again.
"... we'll talke more back home." Stuffy said "Afterall, your Grandma very much wants to see you." Crazy snickered. "...Oh... right. Forgot."
"What's wrong?"
"Blind jokes." Crazy answered.
"It was unintentional!" Stuffy snapped.
Author's Notes:
Next Chapter's around her 'extended' family.
Family
Shortly, Crazy, Stuffy, and Neaera entered their house. Though the place looked like any other house around town, but inside... her breath was taken away! All around, Neaera saw that the place was as huge as a mansion, though, the place was-
"Huh!? Who's talking!?" Neaera asked, looking around.
"No one's talking." Stuffy said "Not unless you want us to."
"Eh, we're going to anyways." Crazy replied "And why isn't the place cleaned up yet!? I can see your stuff on the stairs!"
"That's not my stuff at all, Crazy! I told you to clean that up!"
"I did! All you did was-"
"Guys!? Who's that!?" Neaera pointed. Both Stuffy and Crazy looked.
"That's a wall." Stuffy replied "I'm not sure what-"
"Wh-why are they staring at me!?"
"They?" Crazy asked.
"There's people staring at us! Why are they looking at us like that!? Guys!!! Make them stop!!!"
Oh no! It's happening!!!
"Who are you!?" Stuffy asked
I'm Neaera's Stuffy, or, as I say, her Superego.
"She's got a boring guy!?" Crazy asked "Wait, does that mean-!?"
Ta-Da!!! I'm her Crazy!!!
"Sweet!!!"
"STOP!!!" Neaera backed off, screaming. "STOP LOOKING AT US!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!" She ran away, screaming her head off.
"...Oh no!" Stuffy said. "She's seeing past the 4th wall!"
"She is!?" Crazy replied "Oh man! I wish we could do that again." Stuffy placed his hand on his other part's shoulder.
"I know. Kinda miss the old days, don't you?"
"Yeah... OH S**T!!! Neaera!"
Neaera ran into another room and slammed the door behind her. If she knew her way around, this would be easier for her.
Okay! Deep breaths... breath slowly.
She took in a couple of deep breaths, her heart pumping & filled with adrenaline.
"Who... were they?" she asked
Readers.
"...Who?"
Look, when we first came about a few days ago, you were a bit freaked out, right?
"Y-yes. But then I thought of stuff that you said, both of you, good and bad."
Yes, but you're developing special talents.
"...Special talents?"
Yeah! Like our dad!
Indeed. I've watched our father yell to the sky and to inanimate objects, claiming to be some person, or people. And those people you saw... why, you're able to break the 4th wall!
"...What does that mean?"
It means you can interact with the audience! Ask them questions, pull something out from a different world, heck, use music as a weapon!
"B-but how do I control it?"
I think we'll find out later. Right now, I think you shouldn't freak out by the fact that we're able to see other people currently watching our every move.
"That's not helping at all."
Ooh! Grandma!
Neaera turned to see what was an old, black woman wearing sunglasses, sitting down.
"Who's that?" she asked "That better not be you, Crazy. F**king jackass."
"Oh... uh... hi." Neaera waved, then just realized it. "Oh, I-I'm so sorry, miss. I'm, uh... Neaera."
"...Neaera? What type of name is that?"
"It's... multiple things, really. But who are you?" The woman sighed.
"Al. Blind Al, as everyone here calls me. Now, what are you doing here? And how'd get here?"
"Oh, sorry, my, uh, dad left me here with Crazy & Stuffy. ...So... you're my grandma Al?"
"...Grandma? Look, I'm old, but I'm no one's grandmother. Who's your father?"
"Deadpool." Silence came.
"...Why the hell do you sound like a little girl?"
"...Because I am one?"
"Less than a year old, and you sound like a five year old already?" More silence. "Know what? Forget it. Come here, let me get a good feel of you." Neaera walked over to Al, sitting next to her. Al began to feel her. "...Why are you so freakin' hairy?"
"... It's fur." Al touched her face.
"... Oh lord... you're a horse, aren't you?"
"Pony, miss. Unicorn." She touched her horn.
"...Oh s**t." The door opened and in came-
TJ MILLER!?
Uncle Weasel.
"Hey Al," he said "Know where you placed the cra-..." He paused and stared at Neaera.
"...Hi." she greeted.
"...Oh f**k me. So you're Deadpool's kid?"
"...Yeah? Why do you ask?"
"...You're not bad looking."
"What does that mean?"
"Oh, well, you have the head of a unicorn, your eyes are kinda freaky, I won't lie, but you don't look like the result of an avocado hate f**king another, older avocado."
"...What?" Followed behind Weasel was a man in green & yellow.
"Guys!" He yelled "Have you seen-!? Oh... there you are."
"Who are you?" Neaera asked
"Oh, I'm Bob. I'm Deadpool's best friend... kinda."
"Kinda?"
"He's a douche." Al said bluntly.
"WHAT!?!?!?"
"Look, there's some things you have to know. You dad is a f**king a**hole."
"An annoying one." Weasel added, picking up a brick filled with white powder.
"And an abuser." Bob added.
"...My dad can't be like that!" Neaera defended "He's my dad! He's done nothing wrong with me!"
"To you, you're an exception." Weasel spoke. "If there's one thing about Deadpool that we have to agree on, it's that he'll protect anyone he loves." Al and Bob agreed. "Oh, and I'm quite surprised about how smart he is."
"How so?" Bob asked.
"He gave me a text that say his kid ages seven times faster than most, and that I... have to keep... it...a...secret." The three turned to see Neaera, her eyes widened as her world suddenly crashed. She screamed and ran out, crashing through a window.
"...You f**ked up." Al said, taking out a straw. "Might as well get f**ked up now before getting f**ked over."
Neaera ran across the village, but stopped as she bumped into something made of metal. Her vision was blurred, but she saw that she bumped into a cybrog.
"What the-!?" He yelled "Wait... are you Deadpool's daughter?"
"Yeah. What's it to you?" she replied, sounding dull.
"I'm your father's friend, Cable. Why are you so down?"
"...Turns out, I age seven times faster than everyone else."
"...That doesn't sound too bad."
"Yeah, until you realize that I'm going to die a lot more quickly! In fact, I do everything quickly! Graduate fast, get a job fast, get married, have some kids, divorce if necessary, anything in less than fifteen years!"
"I highly doubt you're going to die that fast, or even die at all."
"...Que?"
"Look, your father is... different. So is your mother. You are both of them combined."
"I get that part."
"Alright. Do you know why I say that?"
"...I really don't."
"Your father, Wade, has the best healing factor I've seen. When he gets cut, he's healed immediately. When he breaks a limb, he cracks them back in place. Hell, when he loses an organ or limb, he regrows it!"
"... So I'm part lizard?" Cable faceplamed himself.
"No... you're not part lizard. He attempts to put them back on immediately. And, if you're going to ask, yes, he's had his head cut off multiple times, but his body still works to put him back on. As for your mother, do you know how old she is?"
"...No, but isn't it rude to ask how old they are?"
"...Yes, but it's recorded that she's over a thousand years old."
"...She's that old!?"
"Yes, and she still looks young, doesn't she?"
"She... she does. What are you getting to?"
"Basically, you're special, and that you shouldn't worry too much about the future-"
HYPOCRITE!!!
"But, if you are worried and think you're not going to live long enough. Change that now. Do something good." He rustled her mane/hair. "Take it to heart, little one. The best thing you can do for yourself is for others." He walked off. Neaera blinked.
Doing something good? How do we do that?
"I have no idea." she said to herself, walking around town, pondering.
The hypocrite said we shouldn't worry too much about the future. But... what do we do that'll work for both the short and long run?
...Perhaps open, or work, for a charity?
Too boring! Let's be a Terrorist!
WHOAH!!! Too soon! And when has being a terrorist worked!?
Star Wars!!!
"...Unless you learned the negativeness thanks to Film Theory."
"Hey, Neaera!" Applebloom's voice spoke. She turned to see the three other fillies from last night. "Where are ya'll going?"
"Oh, sorry, I was thinking about what to do."
"Wait... a cutie mark problem?" Sweetie Belle asked. Neaera blinked.
"...Yeah... you can say that!"
"Oh, trying to find one?" Scootaloo asked
"Sorta. I'm just trying to find out what to do that can help out the town."
"We... don't know a lot of that." Sweetie Belle replied "But we can try!"
"Try, shmy!" Scootaloo mocked "Have you read the new issue of the Power Ponies!?"
"Power Ponies?" Neaera asked. Scootaloo pulled out a comic book.
"Yeah! The Power Ponies! They're going against the dreaded Remodeler! You know the members, right?"
"Uh... No, I don't." The pegasus gasped
"You haven't!? Why, they're the most awesome group ever! They got-"
"Scoots!" Applebloom yipped. "Ah don't think she's interested in some mares in bright costumes fighting crime."
"Wait... fighting crime?" Neaera asked
"Yeah!" Scootaloo replied "And many other things, such as saving innocent ponies, preventing accidents from happening, and saving the world!"
"...Uh... is it alright if I can borrow that?"
"Borrow? Why, come on! Let's head to Twilight's castle! Spike has a bunch of comics you can read through, and it's our Twilight Time! With you being Luna and Deadpool's daughter, Twilight's bound to enjoy you!"
Twilight screamed upon seeing Neaera.
"Excited to see me?" Neaera asked sarcastically.
"Oh no!" Twilight said, taking deep breaths. "You're... you really are their daughter!? Pony head! Horn! Fur! Human body and clothes!" She began to hyperventilate. "Not... normal!!!"
"... I'm gonna find Spike." Neaera left the room, opening to another Room where Spike was at.
"Whoah! Your eyes are weird!" Spike said.
"Thanks. You have comics here?"
Late at night, Deadpool and Luna entered Twilight's castle.
"TWILIGHT!!!" They both yelled. Twilight walked out.
"Deadpool!? Princess Luna!?" She asked
"Where's Neaera!?" Deadpool demanded "Oh, I hope nothing bad's happened to her!"
"I told you we should've kept her in Canterlot!" Luna snapped "It's much safer!!!"
"Oh, sure, with the invasions!?"
"That's different!"
"Please, calm down." Twilight informed. "She's with Spike as we speak."
"Oh thank god!" Deadpool said. Both Deadpool and Luna followed Twilight, who opened a door for them. Both Neaera and Spike were wearing towels around their necks as capes, along with less than stellar suits, and posed as if they were on the city buildings.
"...Neaera?" Luna asked, breaking the silence. Their daughter turned to them and ran.
"MOM!!! DAD!!!" She cheered "I WANNA BE A SUPERHERO!!!" Both of her parents stared blankely, then laughed.
"Aw, that's adorable." Deadpool said
"Agreed." Luna said "It's much too dangerous for you to-"
"But I wanna help people!" Neaera countered "I'm gonna be like Superman before Man of Steel and Batman V Superman!" Her parents laughed again, but ended as they saw her give a serious look.
"She's... not joking, is she?" Luna asked
"I'm gonna start training!" Neaera yelled, running past her parents, much faster than they expected.
"I just hope it's a faze." Deadpool said.
'Heroic' Actions
It was Neaera's first birthday! Or... her seventh? No one was quite sure what to go with. It was true that she aged seven times faster, but no was quite sure if she should go with her physical looks or her technical age. To fix this weird question, the cake's candles had a 1/7 on it. Of course, her class was there to celebrate her birthday, and she received many gifts, though one gift truly stood out for her.
Neaera inspected her last gift from Cable: an operational mega buster that shot out tennis balls, but, perhaps with some rewiring, could work. Deadpool knelt to her.
"Enjoying your birthday!?" He asked
"Yeah!" She replied "This is awesome! I can't wait to make this fully operational so I can stop bad guys!"
"...You still want to do the hero thing?"
"Yeah! I don't want to be a Disney princess that made kids repeat a song for over 2 years. I wanna DO something rather than sign papers to do it! I wanna use... myself... for something epic! Don't you hate being strapped down, dad?"
"Only depending on the situation."
"...What?"
"NOTHING!!!" He rustled her head. "But I like your attitude! I'd say just be normal... but considering on your parents, and your... thing... that's out of the window. Speaking on your parents, what did your mom gave you?" Neaera pulled out a certificate.
"An entrance to Princess Celestia's school for gifted unicorns."
"...Huh."
"I know, I haven't done any magic yet. And I certainly don't count aging fast as 'magic'."
"Heh, damn straight. ...You... you still curious about it?"
"About what?"
"Why I wear the mask?"
"...Oh. Forgot... but... yeah."
"Let's go into your room. You'll see." Both father & daughter left the party as a congo line was formed. Neaera's room was like most typical women's rooms, but instead of some boyband posters, there was some posters of different heroes, ranging from Iron-Man, Gilgamesh, and- "Uh uh! No Batman!"
"But it's Michael Keaton's Batman."
"...Alright... I'll allow it. Back to the thing... you... promise to not scream?"
"Why would I do that?"
"Well... I'm not... there's a reason why I wear this mask."
"...Are you a living Avocado?" He facepalmed himself.
"No... I'm not a living avocado... just... observe." Deadpool turned around and took his mask off. Neaera saw the back of his deformed head, then his face as he turned around.
"...Dad... you're... you're-"
"A testicle with teeth? A Zombie? The result of Freddy Frueger face f**king the topographical map of Utah? Yeah... I know."
"... Am I gonna be that ugly?"
"WHAT!? NO!!! Look, you should know that you're my daughter, and I love you, but I'm not a 'good guy', per-say."
"I heard, actually."
"Yeah... Neaera... I've killed people. I'm not exactly 'family friendly'. I've made many enemies through my life, both bad guys and goody little two shoes heroes. This face, you see, if the face of a dmaged man that came from a f**ked up life, but now, has discovered peace in this land... kinda."
"...oh. Dad? How... how did you... look like... well-?"
"Cancer. And not the crab, but the b**ch ass disease that also destroyed Captain America's shield."
"...Why are your words green?"
"Eh, usually a reference that not a lot of people understand or need proof. Anyways, the big C turned this Ryan Reynolds look-a-like into something you'd see in a B horror film!"
"...Why now? And what does this have to do with me?" He sat next to her.
"I'm telling you that I'm not perfect, but if you really want to be a goody-two shoes hero... I'm here to support you."
"You... wanna help me?"
"Of course! You're my daughter! How can I say no to someone so cute as you!? Plus, I think I have the best birthday suit for you!"
"...Uh... you aren't planning to-?" Deadpool pulled out her suit.
"TA-DA!!! Every hero needs a badass suit to go in!" Neaera's mouth opened wide. She took the suit and inspected it.
"...It has a butthole."
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iYVO5bUFww0
"...I walked into that one, didn't I?" She asked
"Yep." Wade answered. "We weren't sure if you were going to have, so my friends took some precautions. Don't worry, though, it's gonna close, perfect for when you go commando. ...Just wear underwear, though."
"Oh, got it!... Can I get some privacy?"
"Sure." Deadpool left her alone, putting back on his mask. Neaera inspected the new suit, seeing that it was a one piece, excluding the mask.
"Uh, can I get some privacy, readers?"
Oh... sorry. Go ahead I'll just be next to your dad................ Done yet?
"Almost! Tell them now!"
Oh, okay. Ahem, Neaera saw that the suit was loose around her.
"Well... that's disappointing." Her suit glowed as it became tighter around her. The holes around her body were filled, and though it became tight, it wasn't too tight to constrict her. Rather, it actually felt life a second layer of skin! She couldn't help but squeal, seeing her in the suit. The sock looking boots were put on, followed by her gloves. They became a part of her as well.
Look at us! We're awesome!!!
Just one more thing!
Neaera grabbed the mask and inspected it.
"Huh... why does it have eyes?" she asked
"Don't question it!" Deadpool spoke behind the door "just roll with it."
"Honey? Where's Neaera?" Luna asked. Neaera hastily put on the mask, unsure with her long mane & horn. More magic came, and the mask fitted itself along with her face, with her breathing normal. She looked at herself in the mirror, her eyes moving like her dad's. In fact, nothing was white, but normal.
"Whoah! This is so cool!!!" She squealed. She opened the door to see her parents. "Mom! Dad! I'm a hero!!!"
"...Oh no." Luna said.
"That's good!" Deadpool said, taking a picture of her. "Now, if you really want to be a hero, then go out there and make a difference!!!"
"Hello world!" Neaera announced proudly "Here comes... uh... oh... got any hero names?"
"Any that aren't trademarked? Nope."
"...Oh... Well... Here comes the masked horse! ...No, that doesn't sound good. I'll think about that. Excuse me, I gotta save the world." She scooted by her parents and ran down to the party.
"...Deadpool." Luna growled "What have you done!?"
"I supported our little girl." Deadpool said. "And trust me, if it happens... who are we to stop our child from becoming another Jesus-like-savior?"
"She is not going to become a janitor."
"Wrong Jesus."
Neaera posed in front of her mirror.
"Uh... Mooncheeks! No. Deadpool 2? No, not good enough. Oh, hello! Yes, this is a montage! I know! How original? Have any names? Comment below, and don't be mean about it' I'm only a 1 year old!"
A cat was on top of a tree. Fluttershy held some fish to get it down. Neaera walked next to her.
"Don't worry miss," she said "I got this." She climbed onto the tree. The cat hissed at her. "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. I'm not gonna-" The cat lunged at her and clawed at her face. "AWW!!! KITTY ATTACK KITTY ATTACK!!!"
Deadpool and Neaera, not in suit stood in an open field. Deadpool held a gun at her
"Are you sure about this?" He asked "I think we should start off small."
"This is small!" Neaera replied. "Just shoot me in my kidney!"
"... if you say so."
BLAM!!!
Neaera sat in the hospital, with Deadpool replacing his kidney for her exploded one.
"Well, looks like you can't replace organs." He said. "Better be careful."
"Same thing to you." She replied.
"What do you-?" She punched him in the nuts. He fell down in pain.
In chemistry class, Neaera had her chem set operating. She took beaker filled with blue liquid and put it in a cup of green liquid over a fire. An explosion was seen, as Neaera fired from her class and landed straight to the wall.
"...Ow." she muttered.
Neaera held a random pony with a ski mask on & stripped clothing.
"Where'd you get these diamonds!?" she demanded. "Who did you stole from!?"
"Pl-please!" The pony begged "I'm just in a costume contest!!!"
"...What?" She looked around. A bunch of other ponies were in line for a 'Best Bad Guy Cotsume Contest'. A police mare stood next to her, chewing on some gum. "...Oh."
In her room, Neaera posed for the mirror, but noticed that she was developing breasts.
"Ooh! I'm looking sexy!" She turned to see that she had a belly. "Ugh! Better work that off."
Neaera, with the help of Bulk Biceps, lifted some dumbbells. Unfortunately, Bulk saw a really attractive mare pass by. He followed her, being thirsty. Neaera held the dumbbell weakly, then it fell onto neck. She desperately tried to get it off.
"...Help." She wheezed.
Luna entered the kitchen, but saw Neaera stuffing her face with leftover cake. Neaera, blinking a bit, quickly ran away.
"Neaera!!!" Luna yelled.
Deadpool, Luna, and Neaera, reading a book called 'Princess 101', watched Deadpool's own movie.
"Look at that!" Deadpool yelled "I shot that guy in the head!"
"We saw." Luna said with a lack of enthusiasm.
Celestia laid on the her bead, moaning in delight.
"Oh... you have the best hands in Equestria." She said. Neaera peeked out, massaging her flanks.
"So do I get to pass?" she asked.
"Sure... whatever."
Neaera & Deadpool stood together with Bob balancing a potted plant on his head. Deadpool gave her a pistol.
"Just fire at the plant." he said
"But what about Bob?" she asked
"Eh, he's going to be fine."
"I'm not like you!" Bob exclaimed
"Alright, fine." He blindfolded him.
"Not helping!"
"Shut up. Alright, Fi-"
BLAM!!!
Deadpool fell to the floor, dead again.
"...Oops." Neaera said.
Posing in the mirror again, Neaera looked at herself, seeing that she now had D sized breasts. They weren't huge, nor were they small. She sighed to herself, taking her mask off.
(End music)
Deadpool and Luna sat on the couch together, watching some reruns of Dr. Who.
"So... this is a human that travels through time?" Luna asked
"No, Luna, i's an alien that happens to look like a human." Deadpool replied
"Huh... and why do you enjoy this?"
"British!" He replied, putting on a monocle. Unfortunately, his monocle broke as Neaera came out... 'naked'. "GAH!!! PUT ON SOME CLOTHES!!!"
"What!?" She asked "I'm covered in fur, remember?"
"We discussed about this a year ago! It's not normal for us to walk around naked, only your mother can!"
"...Mom? Is it alright if I walk around naked?"
"...I hate to agree, but yes, put something on." Luna said.
"Oh come on! You can't see anything past this!"
"You've got boobs!" Deadpool said "And you're only 2 years old! This is... beyond weird!" He covered his eyes. "PLEASE!!! WEAR SOMETHING!!!"
"...Fine." She walked back into her room, then came out, wearing a black sports bra & shorts. "This work?" Deadpool looked at her.
"...You look like a UFC Fighter."
"...So?"
"It's alright. So, how was your day?" Neaera groaned as she sat down on the spare chair.
"Hard! Who ever knew that being a hero was so tough!?"
"Well it's easier being a hero as a princess." Luna suggested. Both Neaera and Wade looked at her displeased. "...What? I'm only suggesting."
"Sure~" Deadpool replied sarcastically. "So you had a rough time, Neaera. You think being a hero was going to be easy?"
"No. Finding something that can make me a hero is the rough thing! And I'm not quite sure if I'm actually ready for this hero thing I want to do. I might as well live like some stupid dog." Her horn glowed and she conjured up a bag of chips.
"...Hold on just a minute!" Deadpool pulled out his cellphone and dialed a number. "Hello? ... Yeah, it's me, Deadpool! Are you accepting new students?"
"Who are you talking to?" Luna asked
"Really!? How much does it cost? ... That much, eh? Heh, no problem! Who? ... Oh! My daughter, Neaera! I know! It's a surprise to me as well! I'll see ya soon!" He hung the phone before pulling out a control. With a press of the button, a portal opened "You ready to see your Uncle Cruger"
"Uncle Cruger?" Both ladies asked in unison.
"Was he one of the people that saved Equeatris with you?" Luna asked with skepticism.
"Yes, he is." Deadpool replied "And don't you worry; not only is a lot more responsible than me, but he's a real hero!"
"A REAL HERO!?!?!?" Neaera gasped in excitement. "What are we waiting for! Let's go!" She ran to the portal, but was stopped by Deadpool.
"Ah ah! This is gonna cost me some cash, okay? You have to do your maximum effort, you know why?"
"...Because giving your 110% is impossible and if it were in the thousands, you'd only be giving 11%?"
"...That's one, but, Cruger, he's pretty hard on the outside. But on the outside, he's a complete softie. When you do what you do, and make him proud... get a good recording of him crying and post it online! I'll give you a small loan of a million dollars!!!"
"SWEET!!!" She gave her mom a hug. "Bye mom! I'm going to hero school!"
"Wha-!?" She asked in shock. "B-but what about your magic training?"
"That's in there as well." Deadpool said "Ooh! If you can, bring some SPD gear back!"
"I'll try!"
"No! Don't try!"
"Oh, sorry. I mean, I'll give my maximum effort!"
"That's what I'm talking about! Come on, let's do the jingle!"
"Jingle?"
"Watch!" Deadpool performed a dance. "Blue skidoo, we can too!" He entered the portal. Neaera blinked, but copied.
"Blue Skidoo, we can too?" She entered the portal, then it closed. Luna looked both ways, then pulled out a certain object from a mario bros. Game
"Looks like it's just you and me tonight." she spoke.
Author's Notes:
To be continued in... SPD Emergency!!!
Expressing the self
Luna was quite surprised to see Neaera, somewhat older, but not too old. Her time with her uncle had certainly changed her; Neaera was a bit big & scrawny when she first did this hero thing, but returning, Neaera was now skinnier with lean muscles around her body, and she had matured... a little bit. Her daughter was still pretty reckless, and considering that she was able to lift a large boulder with both hands with relative ease & was basically a master at gymnastics, she like different Deadpool... one that could hurt more than help. She needed self control.
Luna approached Neaera's room, hearing her doing her weights. She opened, seeing her daughter easily lifting her dumbbells, both ends having a CMC member, with Babs as the 4th.
"Neaera?" Luna asked
"Yeah?" She replied "You better go. My mom's here."
"Aww~." The fillies whined, getting off their ends and leaving. Neaera set down her dumbbells and turned to her mom.
"What's up? Need me to move some furniture for a friend?"
"No, that won't be necessary." Luna replied "Neaera... we need to talk."
"Ugh! Again! Look, I said I'm gonna be a hero, and I-"
"It's not about you becoming a princess. Not entirely. But... you need to focus."
"Focus? Mom, I'm already focused. I did my training with Uncle Cruger."
"No, not that focus. It's good you're maintaining your body, but I need you to focus on something else."
"...Something else?"
"We'll talk in a different place." Luna's horn glowed and she opened a portal.
"Uh... where are we going?"
"Just follow." Luna walked in. Neaera followed.
Both Luna and Neaera walked into a large field, seeing a small trench & a couple of hills around.
"Where are we?" Neaera asked
"Where I go to relax." Luna answered.
"...That's vague."
"Neaera, please. Just sit down, and relax."
"Relax!? Why would I-!?"
"I'm your mother, just do it. Sit down, relax, and don't make any sudden movements." Luna sat down and laid on all 4s. Neaera groaned as she sat down while crossing her legs.
"Well? Now what!?"
"... Just relax. Let go of what's on your mind, and breath. Feel nature at it's finest." Neaera gave her mother a skeptic look, but sighed. She took her deep breath and tried to let go of what was on her mind. She closed her eyes, trying to not focus on anything. The wind blew on her, as well as the sound of the crackling leaves. She felt some things on her body, then some weird talking. She reopened her eyes to zee that she was covered by miniature, bug ponies!
"...Uh... mom?" She looked us, seeing her mom sitting on her haunches, also covered in the bug ponies.
"Relax... they're just breezies."
"...Breezies?"
"Equestria's most delicate, fragile beings. Just let them do their thing." Neaera blinked, but listened. She carefully moved her arm, and opened her right hand. A blue breezie with a pink mane & tail landed on her hand, then inspected her. Neaera, with her left, slowly & carefully patted it's head. The Breezie enjoyed it, saying something in it's native tongue.
"...I have no idea what you said, but thanks." She looked to her mom. "Mom... why are we doing this? They're not in trouble, are they?"
"...No, they aren't. You just have to know that, like a princess, a hero can't go around and fight all the time. You have to know when it's time to build, when it's time to watch, and, in your case, when it's time to act."
"...Did you just quote Benjamin Mother f***ing King?"
"LANGUAGE!!!" some of the breezies flew off, but shortly re-landed on her when she calmed down. "No... and if I did, then it's a coincidence. But, what I'm saying is this; take a break every now & then. I, as a princess, take my breaks."
"Do they usually involve you and Dad making love?" Luna stared at Neaera. Some of the Breezies 'Oohed' at it with other giggling. This got Luna to blush.
"Uh... I meant before... your father."
"During his time here or before?"
"A bit of both, Neaera. I'm the princess of the night, so not only do I watch over my subjects at night, but I dream walk, making sure the children & others have good dreams and learn from their nightmares."
"...Sounds a lot like Freddy Krueger."
"Ugh... that's the same thing your father said. But will you calm down, Neaera? This isn't for me, but for you."
"Why would I need a break from saving people?"
"... You can still save people out of costume, Neaera. But you should do other things that won't risk your life."
"...Like what?"
"Do you have any other talents? Enjoy painting? Sports? Baking?"
"... I... can you keep a secret, mom?"
"I can keep anything a secret, my child."
"Can I tell you something without the breezies around?"
"Oh... right." she turned to the breezies. "Go on, this is between my Daughter and I." The Breezies nodded and seemingly floated away from the two. Luna scooted herself to her daughter. "What is it?"
"Well... you know what dad did before I went to train?"
"... What was that?"
"Oh... well... you were together... half naked, and you were both singing Paula Abdul's Opposites Attract." Luna blinked.
"...Is that it?"
"No, but thanks to you two, I now have a passion for music, both the ones from the heart and the ones that make perfect, unfunny ones you see on Vine."
"...Soo...?"
"I like music, mom."
"Oh! ...Well... care to show me what you can do?"
"...Without the Breezies watching?"
"Of course, sweetie." Unbeknownst to Luna, all of the breezies were on her back, peeking.
"Okay... and I apologies to the readers if you're not a Shakira fan, nor enjoy Anthros, such as myself."
"...What?"
"Zootopia" She stood right up and cleared her throat. Her horn glowed and music began to play with various 'Oh's playing.
♫I messed up tonight, I lost another fight
I still mess up but I'll just start again
I keep falling down, I keep on hitting the ground
I always get up now to see what's next
Birds don't just fly, they fall down and get up
Nobody learns without getting it wrong♫
She began to loosen up as Luna smiled, trying to dance with her.
♫I won't give up, no I won't give in
'Til I reach the end and then I'll start again
No I won't leave, I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail
I won't give up, no I won't give in
'Til I reach the end and then I'll start again
No, I won't leave, I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail♫
The Breezies all glided off as Luna got up to dance with Neaera.
"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!" Luna sang.
"Try everything!" Neaera continued
"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh"
"Try everything!"
"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!"
"Try everything!"
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!"
The Breezies all floated around the two, also dancing with the two.
♫Look how far you've come, you filled your heart with love
Baby you've done enough, take a deep breath.
Don't beat yourself up, don't need to run so fast
Sometimes we come last, but we did our best♫
♫I won't give up, no I won't give in
'Til I reach the end and then I'll start again
No I won't leave, I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail
I won't give up, no I won't give in
'Til I reach the end and then I'll start again
No I won't leave, I wanna try everything
I wanna try even though I could fail♫
All of the breezies did a synchronized dance
♫I'll keep on making those new mistakes
I'll keep on making them every day
Those new mistakes♫
"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh"
"Try everything!"
"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!"
"Try everything!"
"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!"
"Try everything!"
"Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh!"
"...Try everything..."
All of the breezies and Luna applauded to Neaera. She blushed and bowed to them.
"Why have you not sang before?" Luna asked "That was amazing!"
"Well... I accidentally swallowed a miniature auto tune computer, so that's one reason." Neaera replied "And... well... that's kinda why I like to where the mask."
"Wait... you're shy?"
"Well... I know it doesn't make a lot of sense, considering, well, I really do stick out more than Dad, but... I don't know... it's like a blanket, almost."
"Ah. Well, this goes to our next reason: be yourself."
"... But I am myself."
"Well, I mean you're hero self is one thing you want to show, but please, really do act like yourself OUT of costume. Just... make some friends, okay? Those that are your age."
"So... I hang out with babies?"
"...Okay, this is really weird, but I guess you should hang out with the other adults. In fact, give me a second." She pulled out a note and wrote with her magic. "And... there! Tomorrow, you're going to be with Twilight Sparkle and her friends."
"What!? Them!? Really!?"
"Neaera."
"...Oh... fine... I guess I can hang out with them."
"Good. They will teach you some valuable lessons before your third birthday when you turn 21. Plus, Princess Twilight will keep a good eye on you, and you will learn other forms of magic."
"...You don't mean-?"
"NEAERA!!!"
"OH!!! Sorry, my bad! But what's wrong with my magic?"
"Your magic is very... lacking, dear. When Twilight was only a filly, not only did she hatch Spike from an egg, but caused her parents to become cacti, carried the staff in her magic, and, with spike, turned him into a dinosaur."
"But... that was because of Rainbow Dash's Sonic Rainboom. Without it, Equestria would be down the toilet."
"...Yes... Twilight told me that... makes me wonder if anypony isn't too lazy to fight me or any other danger that came along the way."
"...That's a surprise."
"What is?"
"You're pretty much over the fact that you were Nightmare Moon. Dad told me that you were VERY emotional when it came to that."
"Yes, I was, and as much as I disagree with you father, I do have to agree that I was being overly dramatic about it when it was just less than three hours in total."
"... Did... Nightmare Moon get transferred to me?"
"...Transfer to you? Neaera, Nightmare Moon was just something I did as an attention w***e back in the day."
"Did you just-!?"
"Yes, I did, but it's true. That is one thing, though, that you should know: don't do this for attention only."
"Well, yeah, I want to do something that's-"
"Don't let the idea of being popular get into your head, Neaera. That is all."
"Oh... alright. Can we go now? The Breezies are giving us the adorable eyes." Luna turned to see that the Breezies were still there, and were making adorable, begging faces.
"Oh, hold on, this will help." She conjured up some cookies and left it with the Breezies. The insectoid ponies cheered, munching on the cookies. "Let's get back, your dad gets easily bored."
"Yeah, and I don't want him playing my new weapons."
"Weapons!?"
Both Luna and Neaera reentered their home and saw Deadpool playing with a technological looking Claymore sword.
"DAD!!!" Neaera yelled "Stop playing with Mel Gibson!" She walked and snagged the sword away.
"Mel Gibson?" Luna asked
"Famous actor and insane person." Deadpool said. "He really went mad, unlike Max. But you never showed my that weapon."
"You have more!?" Luna demanded.
"Just two more." Neaera replied. "See, this is Mel Gibson, he, and his two partners, Slicey McGilligan, and Shank McGee, are my weapons. Mel here is a mix between both a Claymore sword, and," she clicked on a button and it became a different weapon with the Claymore still present. "it's mixed with a sniper rifle. Mel is following your style, mom, but the other two are curved short sword mixed semi-auto machine guns, following more like that of Dad."
"...And who designed these weapons for you?"
"RWBY!" Both Deadpool and Neaera replied.
"...I'm no longer going to ask. Nearea, go to bed, and... don't use those around, okay?"
"Yes, mom." Neaera said with a nod.
"Good. And Honey... come to bed with me. Tonight's karaoke night."
"Sweet!" Deadpool said "I got the perfect song!" Deadpool followed Luna upstairs.
This is Bulls**t! Going to bed! We're 16 years old!
Technically, we're 2, and we should go to sleep.
"Guys... I just want to sleep." Neaera said, walking and going to her room. "And you should go to sleep as well, folks."
Friendship REALLY is Magic!
Applejack.
Neaera walked alongside the orange, country mare herself, Applejack.
"So, are ya'll ready to get some work done?" Applejack asked
"As ready as ever." Neaera replied "So what are we doing?"
"We gonna buck up some apples."
"Gotcha!" She pulled out a baseball bat.
"Uh... Neaera? What are you-?" Neaera began to stomp on a basket of apples & squish it with her bat, all with some music playing and everything in Slow-Motion. It was ended after Neaera was pulled out with a lasso.
"Oh come on! That scene from Office Space was so funny and relatable... in the 90's, maybe."
"What the hay were you doing!?"
"Bucking up the apples. I figured it was you own way of saying-"
"No, it's not like that, Neaera. Look, just watch what I do." Applejack went to a tree, turned around, balanced on her front legs, and deleived a buck with her hind legs. Some apples fell from the trees and landed on the buckets on the floor. "Heh! Now you try." Neaera blinked, standing up with the rope falling around her. She walked to a neighboring tree.
Maybe we should just cut it down.
No. Follow what she did.
But we're not a pony!
Nor are we a full human.
Neaera fell to her chest, using her hands to pick her up quickly, and she delivered her own powerful buck. Her kick was much more powerful, as the tree's apples fell down... and activated like grenades.
"WHAT THE FU-!?!?!?"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n0iCYkXTMgA
The place around was covered in ashes. Both Applejack and Neaera, though unharmed, were covered in black ashes.
"...Maybe you shouldn't buck apples." Applejack said.
"Agreed."
The two stood near a wagon filled with apples.
"Perhaps ya'll are good with this here wagon." Applejack said "Ah'm certain that mah big brother, Big Mac, won't mind the help."
"Where is he?" Neaera asked.
"Right there." Neaera turned to see the stallion approaching to them. For some reason, time seemed to slow down around the hybrid as her focus was on the stallion. He was bulky, but not too bulky to be clumsy, and the muscles... how he walked, she could see his muscles at work!
What's happening to us!?!?!?
Our Pheromones! Neaera! Whatever you do, don't imagine him naked!!!
"But he already is." Neaera replied, all dreamily. She drooled as she stared... then her nostrils exploded with blood. She ran to him. "NOTICE ME SENPAI!!!" Big Mac screamed and ran away!
"Oh for Pete's sake!" Applejack yelled "Applebloom! Get mah rope!!!"
Rarity
Neaera was freed from her rope as she was dropped off at Rarity's Boutique. The fancy unicorn answered the door.
"Oh? Neaera? You're here?"
"I am." She replied
"Why, you're looking... pretty, actually."
"Expecting something else?"
"Uh... I was sorta expecting to see more of your father in you. N-not saying it's bad or anything... just saying."
"...uh-huh. ...So... what are we gonna do?"
"I'm so glad you asked! Come along! I'm certain you're going to love this!" Neaera followed Rarity inside. "What is the garment you're wearing, Neaera?"
"This? Oh, just my sports bra and shorts. Turns out, my mom and dad agree that I shouldn't be walking around naked like you guys, but, I feel comfortable going nude, so this is the agreement we have."
"And... you wear that all the time now?"
"More or less. If not, then I'm wearing my costume."
"...Is it similar to your dad's costume?"
"Yep!"
"Figures, but this should work. Can you hold still?"
"Sure." Rarity began to measure Neaera's body. "A little measurement here... some there... I must say, you are quite healthy for you age!"
"I know. Nearly three years old, and I haven't skipped Leg day."
"...you're... only three. Right... forgot about that. Don't you find that weird?"
"Eh, I'm born with it, so I live with it, but, yeah, it's weird."
"And how's your education doing?"
"Considering that I pretty much know all of the periodic table, I say I'm okay."
"Uh huh... well, your dress should be ready in a few hours. I say that this is over."
"Really? Well, that was easy."
"Oh it is, but I expect that you come back tonight?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Good. Now, why don't you head to the salon? Fluttershy's expecting you."
"Ooh! That sounds relaxing!"
Fluttershy
Neaera and the shy pegasus sat down together, relaxed with facial cream & cucumbers over their eyes as the Lotus twins gave them their massage.
"Mmm... this is the life." Neaera moaned.
"It is." Fluttershy added "Do you enjoy animals?"
"Well, considering that, despite being part human myself, I'm more or less a vegetarian like anypony else, so maybe."
"Oh... okay. Um... what's it like being a... uh-"
"A pony-human hybrid? Well, considering that I was neither a human, nor a pony to begin my steps of life, I certainly don't know at all. However, I can already tell that my parents are pretty uncomfortable around me."
"Why would you say that?"
"Easy; I'm nearly three years old, yet I have the body of Cat Zingano that happens to be covered in fur. My dad wouldn't mind me, but I have the head of a pony, and I'm covered in fur. My mom wouldn't mind me, but I have the body of a human, not a pony. Basically, both sides didn't get what they want, but a weird hybrid of the two. Sorta like Stanley Kubrick and Steven Speilberg's mixed film: A.I."
"...You really do speak like your father."
"I know, but, unlike my dad, I use more advanced references, and, with my mom, I know when to shut up... also, I don't swear as much."
"Oh, that's good."
Neaera d'waed as she snuggled with the Bear.
"He's like a huge Teddy bear!" She said.
"Harry is like that." Fluttershy replied, giggling at the sight. "Oh, and it's his massage time!"
"I got it!" Neaera jumped over Harry and back kicked the bear! She ran, landed onto it's back, and pulled it's back leg over it's shoulder with a loud 'CRACK', followed by a elbow dropping onto it's back, and lifting it's head up, twisting it! The bear relaxed as she began to do a regular massage. "There, there... you were carrying so much tension in that neck of yours." The bear growled before falling asleep.
"Oh! How did you do that?"
"I binge watched all of the episodes."
"...Okay?" She carried a rabbit. "Bunny?" Neaera stared as the bad memories returned.
"RUN AWAY!!!" She yelled, running away. "RUN AWAY!!!"
Rainbow Dash
Neaera, after some minutes of running, was now calm and with Rainbow Dash, on top of one of the local mountains.
"So... you're afraid of rabbits?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"I don't want to talk about it." Neaera replied with some anger in her voice.
"... I'm kinda surprised that you'd be afraid of a small, adorable-"
"I said I don't want to talk about it."
"... So do you think Angel is the devil?" Neaera gave Dash the death glare.
"... F**k you." She ran and jumped off from the top of the mountain!
"Wait! I didn't tell you what we were doing!!!"
Neaera fell down face first from the peak. All the trees on said mountain whooshed past her, going slow to fast. Truth be told, while she didn't have wings at all, this was pretty much the closest thing she's going to get to flying for a while. She closed her eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the wind running past her face, with the sound of her mane/hair flapping, nearly sounding like a cape. Then she heard her horn activate. She opened her eyes as she realized that, though she was falling fast, she was moving forward a bit. Everything stopped as Dash grabbed onto her back. She opened her eyes to see that she was inches from the ground.
"Don't... do... that... again!" Dash panted.
"Don't be making fun of my phobias, then!" Neaera growled.
Pinkie Pie
Neaera and Pinkie Pie sat together, wearing fancy suits and-
"Excuse us, but we're having tea and discussing about the various stocks of both sugar and entertainment, so if you can jump forward a bit, that'd be great."
Oh... sorry, Pinkie. Enjoy... Hey! Wait a min-
Twilight Sparkle
Neaera focused magic with Twilight Sparkle. While Twilight watched over her, the hybrid herself sat down and meditated as she reorganized the library, cleaned the place up, prepared a tea set, and sharpened her own weapons, all at the same time.
"I'm glad to see that you're taking your studies seriously." Twilight said. "In fact, I'm quite surprised that you're doing so well for your first time."
"Me too." Neaera replied.
"So, are you ready to learn other forms of spells?"
"...Can they be offensive?"
"Offensive?"
"Not offensive where white people tell that it's politically incorrect, but offensive as in, hurting someone?"
"...Uh... I don't really think so. But I know a few defensive spells."
"I'll take those."
"Okay, just finish what you have to, and we'll-" Everything was put away. "...Okay, looks like somepony's excited."
"You know I am!"
"Alright, let's start with something a bit simple; a shield spell."
"Ooh! Do I conjure up a shield!?"
"...No, it's a bubble shield that protects you from many forces."
"Ah! Gotcha!" Twilight handed her a book.
"Get a glance at it, then we'll-" Twilight was literally blown away as Neaera casted a shield spell around her.
"DONE!!!"
"...Uh... you learned that quickly?"
"Yep!"
"...Okay... I guess I can let you borrow that... and some other spell books."
"Oh please, I'm just gonna need spell books that are good with combat!"
"...We don't have those."
"...crap."
Home.
Neaera returned home with plenty of spell books, a tray of cupcakes, a parrot, some apples, a poster around the Wonderbolts, and some bags with new clothes. Deadpool and Luna watched as she entered.
"So... how was today?" Deadpool asked
"Alright." Neaera replied "Got some stuff."
"We see that." Luna replied. "What is it?"
"Oh... just gifts."
"Rack! Gifts!" The parrot spoke
"Shut up!" She placed all the stuff on the table. "Well... I'd like to see what these clothes are." she pulled out a hoodie with Luna's cutie mark on the back. "Ooh! That's neat! Let's see here... pants, socks, shoes, a T-shirt with a chimichanga on it. Hm... I guess I'm going to need a secret identity, as if my pony head won't stick out."
"It's the thought that counts." Luna said, pulling out a newspaper.
"Yeah," Deadpool added "I know what you mean, but I guess that's why the hoodie works. I mean, you saw my face; I needed a hoodie REAL bad!"
"Oh, dad," Neaera said, walking to him and taking his mask off. "there's no need to be ashamed of yourself. We're a family, remember?"
"...I guess you're right. So... do you know what tomorrow is?"
"Hm... oh! My birthday! Yeah!"
"Well... I had a long discussion with your mother. She's not too easy with this, but this is your decision. Tomorrow, you and I are going to my homeworld and we're going to fight a supervillain." Neaera gasped.
"Are we going to fight-!?"
"Yep! Him! You and I are going to do this tomorrow. If you're up to it, then, I guess you're ready."
"Y-You mean it!?" Luna let out a deep sigh.
"Again, your father is right. You should make your choices, not me. But... if today is your last day here... well-" Neaera ran and gave her mother a deep hug.
"I'll be sure to visit!" Luna hugged back.
"I hope like hell you do." They both released each other.
"Sorry, but I gotta study! Don't wanna be-" She fell to the floor and snored.
"Aw, the excitement knocked her out." Deadpool said, picking her up. "...Are you sure you're fine with this?"
"...No... but it is her choice, not mine." Luna replied "I just hope that she's going to do well in there and... well... see us again soon."
"Aw, don't worry! If there's one thing I know, it's that even when a hero dies, they always come back through some cheap Deus Ex Machina bulls**t. Plus, something that neither of us thought of, but we're both still alive!"
"...What does that have to do with her?"
"Well, pretty much almost every superhero ever needs to have one or both parents die tragically to motivate them in doing the right thing. But considering I can't die, even if I wanted to, and you're practically an immortal goddess, then we have nothing to worry about!"
"... I never thought of that."
"So she's going to be the 1% ... make me millions, Neaera."
"Honey..."
"Okay, fine! Just like some more money."
Author's Notes:
Tomorrow is when the real action starts
What's my name?
The day had arrived. It was Neaera's third birthday, and, her first official day of heroing... if she was going to continue, that is, or else this was going to be her last as well. She put on her suit, seeing herself inf the mirror one last time. She was a young woman/mare hybrid, and she was going to kick ass! Her dad opened her door.
"Got everything packed!?" He asked.
"As much as I can." She replied "Though, I never had a lot to begin with."
"That just makes it easier. Come on!" She followed her dad. At the bottom of the staircase, her mother stood there. She looked at her nervously.
"So... off to save the world?" she asked
"I think so." Neaera replied. She touched behind her mother's right ear. "Don't worry, I'll be back." Her mother teared up. The two hugged each other.
"Please... don't do anything foolish."
"I'll try my best, mom. But sometimes, the most wisest of people were considered fools."
"...So true..."
"Ah, don't worry, Luna." Deadpool said "We're gonna start a bit easy with her. The rest is up to her. Come on!" Deadpool opened a portal. "Next stop... Niagara falls!"
Somewhere, in a secret cave inside the mountain of Niagara falls, a secret, illegal operation was going on. A group of soldiers, all holding M-4s, stood around, keeping watch, as a line of cancer victims waited in line, too weak to move & escape. Some scientists injected them with a serum into their necks, followed by putting them into a container, taking all of their oxygen away. The one leading this operation was another man, wearing combat armor, but had himself a pair of hatchets with him. One of the leading scientists approached to him.
"Sir?" The scientist spoke "Mr. Ajax?"
"Yes, what is it?" He replied "How are our sales doing?"
"Well... we've estimated that, by next year, we will have a 17% increase in income."
"Hm... good. Very good. And this is all still a secret to those fucking 'heroes'?"
"There's a few investigations still going on, but so far, no one has discovered us."
"Excellent. Oh, and has anyone found Deadpool yet?"
"Don't need to." The Merc said. Walking around and leaning next to a crate was the Merc with the Mouth himself. "It's been a long time, Francis. And if you're wondering, this is another alternate dimension, so no, he's not a zombie or cyborg." Ajax Francis walked and looked over his makeshift railing.
"Wade fucking Wilson! Where the hell have you been these last 5 years!?"
"Oh, you know, traveling to Equestria, having awesome crossovers with other Fanfics, and anticipating for my sequel. Oh, and there's someone I have to introduce you to! Come along, Neaera! Don't be shy." Walking from around the corner was Neaera, though in costume, looked pretty shy.
"Uh... hi." She said with a wave. Ajax Francis wiped his eyes.
"What... the fuck... is that!?" He demanded.
"Hey! Language!" Deadpool yelled "Only I can swear the most! And the f**k aren't you censored!? Aw, nevermind. Francis, meet Neaera, my daughter."
"...You... fucked a horse?"
"Pony. More specifically, Princess Luna, but let's not talk about me having sex around her; she's pretty embarrassed."
"You... traveled into a retarded little girl's show?" Both Deadpool and Neaera gasped with the same expression.
"...THAT DOES IT!!!" Both yelled in unison. Deadpool pulled out his twin semi-auto machine guns as Neaera pulled out her twin short swords, but with a click of a button, both turned into semi-autos.
"Cue the music." Deadpool said.
Ajax Francis smirked.
"Kill them." The soldiers aimed at the two and fired! Deadpool and Neaera ran their own separate ways and fired back at the soldiers. Neaera, being the hero she wants to be, and Deadpool, supporting her, fired at the solder's legs, making them fall and wail in pain. Deadpool slid to his group of soldiers, pulling his swords out and slicing their weapons out of their hands, followed by kicking them in their nuts. Neaera, meanwhile, ran to her group of soldiers, using the base of her sword/guns to knock them out, followed by using her own fists to take their guns away & either breaking them or using the base to knock them out. Ajax Francis saw that, despite Neaera being different, was pretty much effective as, if not, more than Deadpool, and Deadpool was sparing lives, rather than killing his men as usual. He was confused, but also angered at this sight. Deadpool & Neaera teleported & landed next to him.
"Alright, Francis," Deadpool said "Shall we do it the easy way, or the hard way?"
"Ugh! Why don't you both just fuck off!?"
"...But I'm only three." Neaera said. Ajax Francis shook his head, looking at her.
"...What the fu-!?"
"Language!" She punched him in the face. He stumble back, but shook himself. He growled at her.
"Fine. Let's do the hard way!" He pulled out his twin hatchets. Deadpool pulled out a bucket of popcorn and a camera.
"This is gonna be so cool!" He said to himself.
"DAD!!!" Neaera yelled.
"Fine by me!" Francis yelled. (Happy, Wade!?) He lunged at Neaera, swinging his hatchets at her. She dodged the various swings, but she pulled her swords out and began to fight back. They both swung at each other, various sparks going off as their weapons clashed at each other! Unfortunately, Neaera lost her weapons. Francis kicked her onto her back, stomping on her chest. "Now, let's see your face!"
"Oh, you want that?" She replied, a bit dazed. "Give me a sec." She kicked him off, jumped right back to her feet, and took her mask off. "Ta-Da!"
"... I... wasn't expecting that."
"Her mom's genes won over mine!" Deadpool said, munching on said popcorn. "Glad she got the face to go with it as well!"
"...Hm, very well, rest in peace." He threw his left hatchet at her! She dodged, leaning to the right, but Francis threw his other at her. While she dodged, the blade hit the skin over her right eye, slicing it. She stood right up as it hit the wall, and she felt her face bleeding.
"You... you cut me!?" She asked in shock.
"Yeah, that's I'm doing. I'm trying to kill you."
"...THAT DOES IT!!!" She ran to him, and he ran back. Both got close to each other and punched each other in their faces, though Francis aimed at her cut. With one good uppercut, Francis was down. She stepped onto his chest.
"Aw shit!"
"Any last words, Francis?"
"...What's my name?"
"It's Francis you stupid piece of f***ing s**t." She pulled something out. "And you're going to look lovely in this!"
At a local police station, some officers watched a local hockey game in the break room. However, they heard something hit the walls... followed by a loud crash. They saw that, whatever crashed, was a body-bag, and someone was inside it. One of the officers opened it, revealing that it was Francis in a certain Ladybug costume, with pictures, VHS tapes, DVDs, and documents around the area, as well as a GPS system with the location of his hideout.
On top of a building, Deadpool checked on Neaera's cut. She winced in pain.
"How bad is it?" She asked
"...It's gonna stay." He replied. "Though, you know how scars make people look tough. Man, you're mom's gonna flip when she sees you like this!"
"What do you mean?"
"Well, you're finished, aren't you? Done with this hero thing? Ready to go home?"
"...But... I love this."
"...You do?"
"Yeah! The thrill, the adrenaline running through me! Just beating up someone bad and not feeling bad about it! I-I love it! I wanna fight more badguys! I wanna meet other heroes! I really do wanna be the next best hero!" Deadpool chuckled.
"Well... I guess I shouldn't stop you then." He turned around and opened a portal.
"You're going!?"
"Sorry, but this is your choice, not mine. I wanted to see how good you were going to do."
"...How did I do?"
"...Pretty good. Practise is needed, but you'll do well."
"Thanks. But... one question."
"Yes?"
"...Where do I begin?"
"Wherever you want to begin."
"...Any other advise before you go? Motivation?"
"Hm... yes! There is." He cleared his throat as music began to play.
"Ooh! A song!"
♫ Do you ever feel like a plastic bag
Drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel, feel so paper thin
Like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?
Do you ever feel already buried deep six feet under?
Screams but no one seems to hear a thing
Do you know that there's still a chance for you
'Cause there's a spark in you?♫
♫ You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July!
'Cause, baby, you're a firework!
Come on, show 'em what you're worth!
Make 'em go, "Aah, aah, aah!"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y!
Baby, you're a firework!
Come on, let your colors burst!
Make 'em go, "Aah, aah, aah!"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe!♫
♫ You don't have to feel like a wasted space
You're original, cannot be replaced
If you only knew what the future holds
After a hurricane comes a rainbow
Maybe a reason why all the doors are closed
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will glow
And when it's time you'll know♫
♫ You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
Just own the night like the 4th of July
'Cause, baby, you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go, "Aah, aah, aah"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colours burst
Make 'em go, "Aah, aah, aah"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe♫
♫ Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you
And now it's time to let it through-ough-ough♫
♫ 'Cause, baby, you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth
Make 'em go, "Aah, aah, aah"
As you shoot across the sky-y-y
Baby, you're a firework
Come on, let your colours burst
Make 'em go, "Aah, aah, aah"
You're gonna leave 'em all in awe, awe, awe♫"
The song ended and fireworks were held in the city... though the citizens ran out in panic.
"...You did that." Nearea spoke.
"I did." Deadpool said. He gave her a hug. "So, you may wanna take this." He gave her his cellphone. "Most of the stuff is deleted, but I kept my contact & some pics showing all of us together. Call me tonight, okay?"
"I will."
"Good. Now... be good, okay? And don't die." He entered through the portal, which closed behind him.
Now, where do we go?
Wheverever our heart leads us. So... to the nearest taco truck!
Not like that.
Neaera turned to see New York in the distance. The Sun beamed behind the city, and it's reflection looked like... a heart.
"...I know where we're going." She said. Using the cellphone, she contacted on of Deadpool's old friends.
"'Allo?" An Indian accent man replied.
"Hey... is this Dopender?"
"Yes, this is him."
"Say... you know Deadpool, right?"
"Oh yes! He's such a great friend. Missed him so very much. Who are you?"
"I'm his daughter." Silence "...Hello?"
"I'm on my way."
Neaera sat in the front guest seat with Dopender, one of Deadpool's first friends after becoming Deadpool.
"So... you really are his daughter?" He asked.
"Oh yeah!" She replied "Of course, this suit was modified to fit in with my mother, Princess Luna, who you might know as the other Alicorn in the hit show, My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic."
"I... kinda figured that, miss. And the mask? Is that... a part of the suit?"
"Oh? This? No, this is actually the shape of my head. See, I'm a human/pony mix, an Anthropological being, or, Anthro, for short, but, though I don't really want to say it, I'm a 'furry'."
"...Very interesting. So where to, Ms... uh-"
"Neaera."
"...Not quite the heroic name."
"I know, I'm trying to come up with one as we speak, but it's hard to come up with one when many names are already licensed."
"...How about 'Lunacy'?"
"...Lunacy?"
"Well... you're like your father in the... talking department, and your mother is, well, the princess on the night. I'm not saying you are, but I think you may be crazy... but in a good way. Are you crazy?"
"Well it very much depends on your definition of 'crazy'. Are you talking about the voices in my head that actually do shut up? The fact that I'm a pony/human hybrid that, despite looking they're in their early 20's, is actually a three year old? Or the fact that I'm actually going to become the next superhero with a lack of innocents killed?"
"... All three, miss."
"Then yes, I am! And you said Lunacy, right?"
"I did. Like it?"
"No... I love it! Lunacy! I just need to catch up with some catchphrase now."
"We can think of one along the way. Where to, Ms. Lunacy?"
"Ah, New York, my friend. If there's one thing I know, it's that heroes and large cities like New York go well with each other, just like Peanut Butter and Jelly... cake and icecream... and chocolate with Bacon... dammit... now I'm hungry." Dopender gave her an energy bar.
"There you go."
"Thanks." She took her mask off and ate it. Dopender got a good look at her face. She returned the look. She chewed for a bit, swallowed, and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "You're cute."
"Uh... thanks." He blushed. "Never thought I'd be kissed by... well... you."
"I know, but at the same time, you've probably never seen a humanoid pony with a nice rack as mine." He blushed even harder. "But enough about that, let's play some fitting music." She turned on the radio as they drove to the border.
Father's sins
Both Neaera and Dopender reached the border patrol to America.
"What do we do now?" Dopender asked
"Now, you go home." Neaera answered.
"What!? But Ms.-"
"Look, I think you for this, and here," she pulled out a wad of cash. "take this with you, as my form of payment."
"...Thank you," he took the cash, "but what are you going to do?"
"Easy; the same way my father does." She ran ahead and jumped over the cliff, diving into the water with no splash. She held her breath and swam across the border.
Jeez! Is that what Mexicans are like!?
Almost. Except with Americans complaining about their country, I'm certain that they'd be doing this for free healthcare.
Can we please avoid that subject? And why aren't we freezing up?
Who says we aren't. We're covered in fur, so we already have some warmth all over us.
...Including the-?
Yes... even there.
Neaera splashed above the water and ran up on the rocky 'beach' around New York. She shook herself from the water, temporarily taking her mask off to let the water out. The wind blew around her, and she shivered.
"Jeez! It's colder than I thought!" She said to herself. She spotted some homeless people near a burning trashcan.
Oh good! Fire!
And perhaps some friends.
Neaera walked ahead to the burning trashcan, getting the warmth from the fire with the homeless people. The people, however stared at her.
"...Hi!" She greeted. "Had a late night swim. Never do that, folks. Might get hypothermia, and many of you guys, I can tell that you're going to-"
"Stay away from me!" One of homeless people yelled, running away.
"Don't hurt me!"
"FREAK!!!" The group of homeless people ran away. Neaera could only blink.
"...Well that just sorta happened to me; I didn't even participate in that." She dried off her costume and made her way to the city, more specifically, Times Square.
The sight was breathtaking to her! People, innocent civilians, each with their own agendas, walking and driving everywhere. The billboards, all with their own product, shined, despite it being the day. Feeling confident in herself, seeing what she's believes may happen in the future, she did the Leo Strut across the center. However, the citizens that noticed her, either stopped in their tracks to stare, or backed up, though those had kids. Neaera noticed and lost her strut, stopping in dead center. The crowd parted as Cameramen & various paparazzi was now around her, recording her and taking pictures of her. She turned to one of large screens, showing herself, with the captions 'A New Deadpool?' below.
Hey! They noticed the costume pretty well!
A little too well. Just look at them; they're frightened at us!
Neaera looked around, seeing the various citizens backing away in fear. When she took a step forward to them, the crowd backed up with some screams.
"Wait!" She said "I-I'm not a badguy! I'm a good guy! A hero! Oh please... I don't want repeat myself like Mark Wahlberg's character in Trans4mers."
"Get the F**k outta here!" A citizen yelled
"Psychopath!"
"Murderer!"
"I-I didn't murder anyone!" Neaera yelled "I'm new!" She took her mask off. The crowd, let out a collective gasp, followed by murmurers. "See? I'm new!" More silence.
"...It's a goddamn mutant!" Another citizen yelled
"No! She's an alien!" Something hit the back of her head, making her fall. Dazed, Neaera reopened her eyes to see that someone had thrown a bottle at her, which broke upon impact. She looked up to see more other forms of trash thrown at her! She got up, dodged as much as she could, and booked it!
In a nearby tower, ingenious billionaire & Playboy himself, Tony Stark, A.K.A., Iron Man, watched some news. A local reporter was on the news.
"This just in," she said to the camera "A rally has gone down in New York Time Square as what appears to be another Mutant appeared, one who is sympathizer of the greatly disappeared Merc with a Mouth, Deadpool. Chaos erupted when she appeared, and-" Tony turned the T.V. off.
"So we have a new psychopath?" He asked himself. Pulling out a Cellphone, he called. "Fury?... Yeah, it's me... Call the Avengers. ... No, Bruce should stay... City damage, really... fine, if she's not going to listen, then send them out."
Neaera ran from the crowd, tearing up as objects landed on & around her, feeling the pain. The sound of a near sonic boom was heard nearby. She looked up to see Iron Man, floating above her.
"Iron man!?" She asked "Oh thank god! Please! You gotta-" His hands beamed up, aiming at her.
"Don't make any sudden movements." He announced.
"Wha-!? But Tony, I'm-"
"We can either do this the easy way or the hard way. Get down to your knees, and your transfer to Ryker's Island should be quick & painless."
"But I'm not a bad guy!"
"Yeah right, Deadpool sympathizer." Neaera quickly saw a gap in the crowd. It was either becoming a vigilante already, or spending who knows how long in jail. With a deep breath, she ran into the crowd. "...You saw that, right? ... Send them in."
Neaera panicked as she saw the Helicarier appearing out of the clouds, with some quinjets flying to her direction. Sweating, she hopped onto a nearby motorcycle, pulled out one of her short swords, and tried to start the ignition. She saw one of the Quinjets fly to her, the bottom opening up to drop Black Widow and Captain America, both on Motorcycles.
"OH S**T!!!" She yelled, turning on the ignition.
"Language!" Captain America yelled.
Neaera hit the gas and drove off, chased by her two pursuers.
"Ready for some fun, Cap?" Black Widow asked
"You know it." He replied
"I'm not enjoying this!" Neaera yelled, zooming ahead, avoiding the various vehicles in her way. Black Widow soon followed her, pulling out one of her batons, which sparked with electricity. The Spy swung at the anthro, but Neaera pulled pout her other shortsword, and swung at the baton.
"Swords? You're just like Deadpool!"
"No! I'm only defending myself!"
"Likely story." She began to swing her baton at Neaera, who blocked as much as she could, though quickly turned to see what was in front of her. Neaera skidded to the right, kicking Black Widow's motorcycle in the process, making the spy hit a fire hydrant, and landing on an outside stall selling peaches.
"Sorry!" A loud clang was heard; Captain America had landed next to her. He pulled his shield out.
"I don't normally hit a woman," he said "but psychopaths like you are an exception!"
"I didn't do anything!" Cap ignored her, throwing his shield at her. She slowed down while leaning her neck back, her neck barely avoiding the shield, though the shield now bounced back to Cap. "Are you trying to kill me!?"
"No, just trying to knock you unconscious."
"Liar!"
"Hold on, I got her." Iron Man spoke. Neaera turned to see Iron Man flying to her. Cap threw his shield back at her; she grabbed the shield and threw it at Iron Man, knocking the billionaire out.
"Sorry!"
"That's it!" Cap yelled, knocking her vehicle. She grunted and knocked him to the left. She exited to the freeway, though Captain America fell to a pit.
"Sorry!" Captain America got up, seeing her exit.
"Oh, you're going to be sorry! Clint? You Ready?"
On the roof of a nearby building, Clint Barton, or Hawkeye, redied one of his arrows.
"You know I'm always ready, Cap." He replied with a smug.
"Take the shot." Cap said
"Gotcha. Sorry, Missy." He fired an arrow at Neaera.
Neaera drove away from the city, but heard something whizzing to her. she turned and grabbed an arrow, just inches away from one of her legs.
"...Phew!" She said to herself "That would've left a nasty-"
BOOM!!!
Neaera fell over the bridge, landing in the cold water again. She was washed onto the shore again, though she was under the bridge. Coughing hard, she crawled and went silent as she could hear Iron Man over her, most likely examining the wreckage.
"...Target eliminated." He said "Damage minimal... owner luckily has motorcycle insurance... better pay for damage done." He flew off. Neaera let out a sigh of relief, followed by pain. She looked and saw that her leg had a deep gash in it. Her healing factor took over, but it was painful; she winced as her body healed.
"... I gotta hide." She said to herself. With no one watching, she switched to her casual clothes, but pulled the hood over her head.
I know our dad's not much of a good guy, but is he really a BAD guy!?
Considering how they thought we were a sympathizer of him... maybe?
"Guys... please... I gotta find us someplace to hide."
Nighttime had arrived. She didn't find anyplace to sleep, and her suit... the left side was burnt. She was surprised at how everything went the opposite of what she expected; True, the citizens might be skeptical of her, what with being new, but downright fearing and hating her? And the heroes? How can this happen!? She decided to take shelter in a cardboard box... until she heard some 'thwipping' overhead.
"Kinda unfair on how they treated you, today." A gentle, young man's voice spoke. Neaera got up and looked around.
"W-who's there!?" she asked, looking around. She turned and was greeted with another man in red. He looked somewhat similar to her father, but not only was he younger looking, but there was black webs all over him.
"Just your friendly neighborhood, Spider-Man!"
"... Spider-Man? Are... what are you doing here?"
"Well, you're near my home, and I saw how desperate you were."
"Desperate? I'm not-"
"You were all over the news, chased by some members of the Avengers, and had an explosion to the face. Trust me, I know what that's like, Daughter of Deadpool."
"...How do you know-?"
"Your suit is obviously designed off of his costume. But I am surprised how it's blue and had moon-related things to it. I'm guessing you're also Princess Luna's daughter?"
"...Yes... how-?" Spider-Man flipped himself.
"Well, just like your father, I too am a fellow Brony myself... and I went to Equestria before, but was kicked out. Need a place to stay?"
"...Yeah."
"Cool. I just need your name."
"...Hero or real?"
"...Both."
"Hero name; Lunacy. Real name; Neaera."
"Ah." He took his mask off "Peter. Peter Parker. Come, my Aunt May shouldn't mind."
"Old or young?"
"...She's old. Why do you ask that?"
"Just saying."
"...Right..."
*Can't* Do what a Spider Can.
Neaera waited as Spider-Man got out of his costume, back to his secret identity, Peter Parker. When he was finished, Neaera was greeted with a kinda dorky looking teenager. She couldn't help but giggle.
"What?" He asked "Is it because of my secret identity?"
"...Yes!" She blurted, laughing, followed by a snort.
"Well, if I were to be 'Macho' as most of the guys, then there's a good chance that my identity would be found." She controlled her laughter.
"True... true. So...where's your home?"
"Follow me."
After walking, the pair stood at the doorway of what was an ordinary house. With Peter knocking the door, it was answered after a while by an elderly, warm looking woman.
"Peter? Is that you?" she asked.
"Yes, Aunt May," Peter replied with his warm smile. "And I brought a friend with me from High School."
"A friend? Is it that Mary Ja-?" She froze as she spotted Neaera. "...Oh my... Peter... she's... she's a-"
"Yes, Aunt, she is a mutant."
"Hi." Neaera introduced herself. "I'm Neaera." Aunt May blinked, but shook herself.
"Oh, sorry for that." she apologized. "I never thought that I'd be with a Mutant of... your looks. Where are you from?"
"Equestria."
"It's a small town in South Africa." Peter quickly added.
"Oh... really?" Aunt May asked. "So she's an exchange student?"
"...You can say that."
"Oh, how lovely! Helping her get use around here?"
"Yup!"
"That's my boy! When did you move here, Neaera?"
"...Today, actually." Neaera spoke.
"Interesting. Uh... just one question?"
"Yes?"
"If you're from Africa, then why are you... well...?"
"Oh my god, Aunt May!" Peter exclaimed in embarrassment "You can't just ask why she's like that!"
"Oh, it's no biggy." Neaera replied "In fact... I don't even know what I look like when I'm shaved... eh, maybe for another time."
"I see that." Aunt May replied "Oh, today's Taco Tuesday. Care to join us?"
"...Taco Tuesday?"
Neaera scarfed down her 17th taco, though both Peter and Aunt May could only stare.
"...Uh... Neaera?" Peter asked. He poked her. She turned and hissed at him; Peter jumped back as she returned to eating her taco.
"... I'm taking Taco Tuesday off the menu when she's around." Aunt May spoke.
"...Agreed."
After dinner... and a lot of holding down, Neaera laid on her bed in the guest room. It wasn't the best, but, with how nice Aunt May & Peter were, especially after her less than stellar attitude, it was all she needed. Turned out, today was the last day of school for peter, and Summer break was going to start tomorrow. She pulled out her cellphone and texted to her parents.
Hey dad, just had my first day of heroing... kinda.
Kinda? What happened?
Chased through city. What did you do before meeting mom?
Oh. A lot of stuff, mostly bad, but, as I've said, I'm not a BAD guy. I'm just f**ked up... oh great! Even my texts are censored!
LOL. Yeah, it was tough today. Sleeping with Spider-Man, though.
... Sleeping with him?
Sorry, at his house. Kinda became friends with him. Who knew Tacos tasted so good!?
I have failed as a parent.
K. Bye
Hey! Our dad's texting is the color of my words! Lazy Ass.
Perhaps, but then again, you are more or less her father in mind as I am the mother. Now let's just sleep; we've got a long day ahead.
"Right, guys." She said, lying to her bed, and slept.
Both Spider-Man and Neaera/Lunacy stood on one of the local roofs of the small business buildings in the neighborhood.
"So... what are we going?" Neaera asked, putting on her suit.
"Well, since nothing's happening," he replied "I'm kinda curious about you."
"What's there to know? You already know a lot about me just by my looks."
"True, but actions speak louder than words." He began to bounce a bit "Let's see what you got."
"What I got?"
"Yeah! A quick lap around the block; no magic or any other gadgets."
"So you're not going to use your webbing?"
"Who needs webbing? Come on, follow me; if you can keep the pace."
"Oh, I'm sure I can!" Spider-Man nodded and ran ahead, jumping onto a nearby roof. Neaera followed, also jumping onto the nearby roof. It became a near race between the two, though, as Spider-Man was able to jump higher & climb MUCH faster then Neaera, who was described as an 'Assassin's Creed protagonist'. Both climbed up onto a taller building.
"You're pretty good." Spider-Man commented.
"Heh, thanks." She replied
"But, as they say, Actions speak louder than words."
"What do you mean? And if so, is the pen mightier than the sword?"
"... Okay, I'm sure some quotes work better for other people, but what I'm saying is this; your dad and I didn't get along all the time. I wanted to save people, he wanted to save those that would pay him."
"Hey, I'm not exactly like my dad!"
"I'm not saying you are. On the contrary, you may have his sense of humor, but not his murderous intentions. But, I wanna know more about you."
"Again?"
"Yeah, through a friendly spar."
"What!?" Neaera asked
Spider-Man prepared his fists.
"Don't worry," he said "Just give it your best. I'll go easy on ya."
"Uh... okay." She replied, a bit nervously as she prepared her fists. "No weapons, right?"
"Preferably. Web swing!" He shot a string of web into the sky, wrapping it around a pigeon, and swung himself to Lunacy. She ducked before he could kick her, grabbing him by one of his legs, and threw him. He rolled across the floor, but stopped, quickly got up, and sprayed more web, this time, onto her chest. The web was sticky, and Neaera was pulled to Spider-Man, who released an uppercut. She fell to the floor, a bit dazed, but shook it off, ripping the web off of her chest, and charged back. Spider-Man quickly made a slingshot with both of his webbing, and propelled himself to Neaera. She dropkicked his face, making Spidey spin in the air a couple of times before hitting the side of the bricked roof with his back. He got up and shook himself, turning to Neaera, and ran to her. She ran back, and the two let out a flurry of fists. While she landed a few blows to his face & chest, he dodged a majority of them & landed nearly all of his punches on her. The two grabbed each other's fists and pushed each other
"Huh, you're a pretty good fighter." He said to her.
"Thanks." She replied "You got me a couple of good times. How are you this good, by the way?"
'"My Spider Sense. Tells me when danger is nearby."
"Guess that's how you avoided my punches?"
"Sorta."
"Well, sorry to say, but I win."
"...How exactly are you-" She headbutted him. He fell to the floor, unconscious.
"Oof... Did I do it too hard?"
"Peter!?" A young, female voice spoke. Neaera turned to see a long, red haired, teenage looking woman, climbing a ladder to the roof they were on. She gasped as she saw Neaera. "W-What did you do!?"
"Uh... Oh no! Spider-Man! He's unconscious! Who is this Peter you speak of? I have no idea where Peter is at. Is he-?" The Woman groaned, walking to Spider-Man and taking his mask off. She crossed her arms and gave Neaera a stern look. "...Oh my god! Spider-Man's... a guy! Is he Peter!? I think it's a coincidence that-"
"Quit playing dumb. I'm not Stupid; I'm his Girlfriend."
"Girlfriend?"
"Yes. I'm Mary. Mary Jane Watson. And what the hell did you do to my boyfriend?"
"...Uh... well... we had... a friendly spar."
"...Huh. And who are you? And what's up with the mask?"
"Oh... Well, I'm Neaera, or, Lunacy, and well... I'm a hero."
"...Right, cause you look like a LOT like that one Deadpool sympathizer that was chased by the Avengers yesterday."
"Hey! I'm not 100% like my dad! I'm 50%." She paused as Mary gave a curious look. "Oh... uh... would you belive that I'm the Daughter of Deadpool?"
Roll credits.
"...The Daughter... of... Deadpool?" Mary Jane asked, a bit skeptical. "And who would the mother be?"
"Princess Luna."
"...From My Little Pony?"
"Equestria, really, but, sure."
"Proof."
"I am the proof. Need more?" She took her mask off. "Bam! Pony head, sexy gal body."
"I... didn't need that last comment."
"Good. Because you should also know that I'm three years old."
"...WHAT!?"
"Magic. I know, I don't really get it either, but, oh well. Man, I hope I don't have to use the 'But I'm only three years old thing' to everyone I meet. That'd be tiring, like Mark Wahlberg Inventor in Trans4mers."
We did that joke already!
Shh! Don't spoil lazy writing that is thought to be purposefully lazy to be genius which may or may not be genius, depending on who you're talking to. Like Stanley Kubrick!
... I don't know if that's genius or lazy.
"Magic, huh?" Mary Jane contemplated. "Well... are you doing anything, Ms. New Hero?"
"...Uh... no, not really." Neaera replied "I mean, if you need help, I can-"
"Yeah, that's all I need. But, quick question."
"Yeah?"
"Are... you a mutant?"
"...What do you mean?"
"Were you born like... this? I get your magic thing made you age much faster, but were you always a reverse centaur?"
"Okay, two things; 1) Yes, I've always been like this since I was born, and 2), a reverse Centaur would also have the horse hooves over the human arms, so no, I am not technically a reverse centaur, but an Anthropological being, or 'Antrho' for short."
"...Well, Miss 'Anthro', if I were you, then I'd make my way to Xavier's School for Gifted Youngsters. With your looks and your dad's history with them, I've got a good feeling that the professor and students will accept you easily."
"You think so?"
"Oh, I know so. Oh, and, I was gonna have Peter take this to Dr. Strange, but I think you can do it." She pulled out a tome. The Tome, which was essentially a book, began to glow blue.
"Uh... is that normal?"
"No, I-I never saw this before!"
"Touch the tome..." a mysterious voice whispered "The closest way to fly... is to jump real high." Neaera sweated.
"I... I think I should... touch it." she said, reaching for it. The blue glowing intensified as she reached for it. As soon as she touched the Tome, it disappeared into blue dust and surrounded her, followed by it entering her body. She momentarily floated in the air, and her eyes glowed blue; She saw herself leaping over some buildings, and landing on the floor without taking damage from the Empire State Building. She fell to the floor, coughed, and inspected herself.
"What was that!?" Mary Jane asked.
"I-I don't know... but I think... I got new powers."
"New powers!?"
"Yeah... stand back." Mary Jane dragged the still unconscious Peter. Neaera took a deep breath and focused on her jumping. Unbeknownst to her, her horn glowed, casting around her body a blue Aura. Then, she jumped... 15 METERS INTO THE AIR!!! "HOLY S**T!!!" She fell to the floor, rolling a bit, and crashed into wall on the streets below. She pulled herself off, realized what she did, and laughed. Mary Jane leaned over the wall.
"Holy Crap! You just jumped that high!?"
"And I didn't feel the pain! ...Well... the wall hurt, but that's different. ...Say, you wouldn't happen to have more, would you?"
"No, sorry. But... I think I have an idea."
"Tell me."
"Well, before you appeared, some of these books have appeared all over the city. Most people just went along with their ways, but Dr. Strange and some magic users told us to keep an eye out for these books."
"...So you're saying these books can give certain people powers, like me just about now?"
"More or less, yeah."
"Huh... I better keep an eye out for these books. Oh! Where's Xavior's place?"
"Well, with your new power, I'm sure you can find it. It's the only mansion with multiple people around."
"Ah! Well, thanks for the ability, Mary Jane! Still need help?" Peter groaned as he got up.
"Nope. We should stay in contact, though. I'll friend you on Facebook."
"Sweet!"
"You better get going, though."
"Right!" Lunacy ran and jumped onto a nearby roof, and made her way to the school. Peter blinked.
"...Did she just jump high?" He asked
"Yeah." Mary Jane replied
"... Wake me up when we're home." He passed out again.
"Ugh... Oh Peter."
Author's Notes:
Okay, there's some elements I'm going to use from the various films, but a couple from comics, cartoons, and some other media. And yes, THAT was Aunt May to me, both back then and today! ASM was... bland, and the MCU one is... too young.
And yes, this is going to be somewhat of a mix between Infamous and Saints Row. (You'll understand the second later)
Heavens gate looking...
Author's Notes:
Apologies for the delay and a bit of a boring chapter. I'm going to try to stick with different 'Arks', and, in this case, this is the X-Men Ark.
Night time had arrived in the private school/Mansion of Xavier's school for gifted youngsters. On his wheelchair & in his suit, Xavier, also called Professor X, rolled around, looking over some documents regarding some new students and what the government may be planning. He paused as he sensed someone around. It wasn't one of his students, but... some stranger. He followed it, pondering to himself.
Let's see here... female... not human... but not entirely a mutant either. He thought to himself Hm... young... a three year old? ... Hungry He strolled into the kitchen, seeing only the lights on and relatively clean... but a butter knife with mayonnaise was in the sink. "Whoever you are, you can come out." He said "I am Charles Xavier. I run this school." Silence... followed by something falling onto his bald head. He grumbled, taking off what was a slice of bologna. He looked up to see Lunacy on the ceiling, holding herself up there, silently chewing on a sandwich with a free arm. They stared at each other awkwardly. She swallowed.
"...Don't tell my mom." She said.
"...Can you please get down?" Neaera sighed and landed on the floor, next to the professor... then began to touch his bald head.
"So... shiny! So smoo~th..."
"Please, don't touch my head."
"Sorry!" she stood back a few inches. He turned to her.
"Hm... Are you related to Beta Ray Bill by any chance?"
"Who's that?"
"Nevermind." He rolled around her, examining her, "Hm... I've never seen anyone like you. I heard what happened yesterday."
"Look, whatever you think, I'm-"
"I'm not saying you are. Just by seein you, I knew you were different, and I wanted to talk to you."
"...Why didn't you then?"
"Cerebro is temporarily broken right now. One of my assistants, Hank, is going to be able to fix it tomorrow morning. If it weren't broken, I'd been able to talk with you."
"...Like a cellphone?"
"Almost. I'm a telepathic; I can read minds."
"Really? Like... all the time?"
"I give my students their privacy, but, I'd like to get to know you a bit. May you-" Neaera got a stool and sat on it. "...Excited, are we?"
"Yeah! I wanna see if you can do this!"
"Hm... may you-"
"Take my mask off? Eh, I don't see why not." She took her mask off, moving her jaw a bit & swatted some sweat from her head. "Man, how do they keep their mask on that long?... oh! Sorry, I know, I have a horse head, or, as most viewers would point out, a pony head."
"Can we focus?"
"Sorry." Xavier gently held her head in her hands. She leaned forward. "...So... do we kiss or-?" She paused as she felt the place change.
Neaera found herself in her old room, seeing Deadpool and Luna looking over a crib.
"Ooh! Do I have a sister!? A brohter!?" She asked "Or is this some sort of subconscious fear that-?" Both Deadpool and Luna cringed at the crib.
"Is that OUR baby!?" Deadpool asked
"Mother of my sister!" Luna added "It's... an abomination!"
"Yep." Neaera said "Oh, How original."
"You're unfazed by this?" Xavier asked. Neaera turned to see Xavier, walking next to her. "I'm quite surprised by this."
"Look, I haven't seen any films, but-"
"No, not that, but your family."
"Oh! Them? Yeah... my dad landed in Equestria some years ago and, during that time, he pretty much did... I don't know."
"Considering I know Deadpool, it's not good."
"I beg to differ; he saved Equestria and, before that, he and my mother, Princess Luna, fell in love with each other."
"... A horse?"
"Yeah... I know, it's weird, but, Love is blind."
"And inhumane, in his case."
"...Anyway... yes, they fell in love, and, despite my dad being sterile, I came along; Neaera."
"Neaera? Hm... quite a beautiful name, actually."
"Yeah, and, let's see here... care to travel into the future?"
"This is your mind. I'm just a visitor."
"Ah... well... through here!" She lead him through a door, showing him Equestria. Everything was still, but both can see many details; Derpy, the Doctor, & their kids were at the park, The apples sold their apples, Twilight Sparkle & Spike held a speech, and, topping it all off, Deadpool tossed around a young Neaera with Luna taking a picture of the two.
"Hm... you seem to be a happy family."
"Yeah... my dad was more of the fun type, and my mom was the busy type. When she wasn't busy with her princess duties, she's pretty fun to be with... though, she wasn't too high strung with my choice."
"...And that is?"
"...I chose to become the next superhero rather than become a princess."
"A princess?"
"Yeah... but you see, my mom is the princess of the night and dreams. She's an alicorn. I'm not."
"Yes, I can see that... but you know, not everyone should keep their power."
"And the most good of people can go mad with power. If there's one thing I don't want to do too much, it's be a leader very much. Remember, Deadpool is my father, and he's not... well... perfect."
"Hm... I understand. Your father is a good help, but only in small doses."
"...Why are you so... fine around me?"
"I don't judge anyone. I know there's good in everyone, and you are one of them. Plus, you're not as insane as your father, and I'm sure your mother raised you well."
"...Thanks, prof."
"Your very welcome. And I sense that you wanted to tell me something?"
"Yeah... you know I'm three years old, right?"
"I do, and, though it's strange, that's what makes all of us unique in our own way. I also sense that you're able to gain powers?"
"Almost. It was a one time thing, really; I got a tome and gained a power from it, but, as you can tell, I already have some abilities with me."
"Magic and healing?"
"Magic, not so much, healing... it's more of repairing than replacing, so, yeah, I'm gonna have to be careful and not go in head strong."
"... Wise, young one."
"... Can we get outta here?"
"Very well."
Neaera shook her head as Xavier released her head.
"There we go," Xavier said "Now, I think we should go to bed."
"...Together?" she asked.
"What!?... oh, nonono, I have multiple spare rooms available. You wouldn't believe how many guests like you enter. Follow me, I can show you your room for tonight... unless."
"...Unless what?" He wheeled away. Neaera sighed but followed him. They passed by a couple of room, some other students peeked and got a look at her.
"Don't mind her; go back to bed." The students went back to their rooms "Now, would you like to be a student?"
"...A student, sir?"
"A student. Here, you can learn how to control your powers, have a place to live in, and, in your case, be both part of a team and feel welcomed here."
"...Well... it does sound good... but-" Xavier opened a door for her. The room was relatively small with a bed big enough for her, and it did feel a bit welcoming. He turned to her.
"Why don't you go to sleep? Tomorrow is your free day here; explore around the university, meet some of the teachers and other students here" He placed his right hand to his head. And the code is 1963
"... Uh... why did you-"
"Goodnight, Neaera. Hopefully, you'll want to be here."
The new kid
Neaera snorted herself awake as the sun hit her face. Thankfully, she was out of costume and in her gym shorts & bra, as she drooled in her sleep... and woke up in one of the many sleeping positions that she doesn't want told.
"Thank you, sir."
Your very welcome. She got up and, with a stretch that, if anyone saw, thought she was possessed, which was added with a Death Metal like yawn. Stretched, with her clothes ready, she headed to the showers to begin her day, though, some of the other students were already up, most whispering to each other about her looks. She ignored their whispering, only focused on taking her shower and clean herself, though, hopefully, the school has good drainage. As she waited for the next shower to be open, she made small talk with a short haired teenage woman next to her, who, though didn't pay too much to her, but was on her cellphone.
"...Hi... I'm new here." Neaera introduced herself.
"Don't care." The cellphone scroller replied bluntly.
"...So... here to do some good? Or something?"
"I detonate atomic bursts from my body. The only good I can do is blow shit up."
"... I'm beginning to dislike you miss..."
"Negasonic Teenage Warhead."
"Negasonic- What the s**t!? That's the coolest name ever!" Negasonic got off her phone and turned to Neaera.
"What did you just say?"
"...You have the coolest name ever?"
"...Fucking hell!" She took her towel and walked off.
"Was it something I said!?"
Or maybe, it's someone our father knows.
We need to contact him and learn more about these people.
I can agree to that.
Neaera took her stuff into the shower room and cleaned herself and did her parents hobby; singing in the shower. When that was over, with all the ladies confused on what just happened, Neaera got into her casual clothes, only to nearly bump into a very tall & muscular man seemingly made out of metal.
"...Uh... hi." she greeted meekly. "Did you hear my singing? If you want a sing off, I'm down for it. In fact, we should have a rap battle! An Epiuc Rap battle of-"
"Enough." The Metal Man spoke in a thick Russian accent.
"Ooh! Russian!" Negasonic walked right behind him. "Hey Negasonic! Where were you when- Oh! You wanted to get your friend! Aw, why didn't you say so? Hi, I'm Neaera, new person around here in this school."
"Are you sure about her? She doesn't really look like him."
"Who? Did the professor ask you if I look like Beta Ray Bill? Look, I have no-"
"No, not him, you're far much more... eh... cuter than him."
"Wait! I'm cute!?"
"Apologies, but you don't look like Deadpool."
"... Wait a minute... you knew my father, Deadpool!?" Various milk was spat by some students and the teachers around, followed by more whispering. "...Was it something I said?"
"Very. Come, we don't want to cause commotion."
Outside, Neaera hoped branch to branch on the trees around, following the metal man, who revealed himself as Colossus. Apparently, he and Deadpool had a bit of history with each other when he started his various adventures.
"So you had my dad in handcuffs, and, with a knife, asking the viewers if they saw 127 Hours, sawed off his hand?" Neaera asked, taking an apple and eating it.
"Very much indeed." Colossus replied, shivering a bit.
"Disgusting." Negasonis simply added.
"And he was close to becoming a real superhero."
"You mean the part where he killed Francis?" Neaera asked, jumping off of the tree and landing on her hands.
"Yes."
"Aw, you should know by now; superheros and villains keep dying, but come back through Deus Ex Machina things. Batman said it himself in Robot Chicken."
"... Did not think much on that."
"Probably because you've died so many times yourself that you forgot what it means... like infinite lives in Super Mario Bros."
"If that works for you. But, what are you doing?"
"Eating an apple to make myself look like an a**hole." Ding
"I meant, what are you doing in this school?"
"Well... the world right now must think I'm a Deadpool sympathizer and following his ways of life... so I'm just trying to lay low while doing hero things."
"...You wish to become hero?"
"Hell yeah! I already fought a different Francis, but I wanna fight more baddies, save innocent civilians, plus, perhaps get a hot boyfriend... or a girlfriend, but that's if the readers want it... do you want a lesbian couple, folks?"
"Great... like father, you too speak to imaginary friends."
"Eh, not really. I'm trying to be somewhat subtle, but, I may not be doing a very good job."
"Whatever, but you wish to do the four or five moments?"
"...Excuse me?"
"Four or five moments; it's all it takes to be a hero. Everyone thinks it's a full time job; Wake up a hero, brush your teeth a hero, go to work a hero. Not true! Over a lifetime, there are four or five moments that really matter. Moments where you're offered a choice; To make a sacrifice, conquer a flaw, save a friend, spare an enemy. In these moments, E~verything else falls away; the way the world sees us, the way we-"
"YOU'RE DEAD!!!" A growl was heard, followed by a blur of yellow & black tackling Neaera away.
"...AGAIN!?!?!?"
Neaera's back hit against the back of a tree hard, followed by a fist under her cheek, holding her in place. A SNIKT was heard, as two long & sharp blades appeared, both holding Neaera's head in place, keeping her focused as she was facing a somewhat short man in yellow spandex with black 'horns', and white eyes. The weird man sniffed her, followed by a low growl.
"You're the new kid here, ain't ya!?" He growled "They might not know, but you have the smell of a killer!"
"... My bad." Neaera apologized weakly. She was lifted higher.
"Listen kid, there's a third claw ready to come out! Give me good reason why I shouldn't slice ya and sell ya to the glue factory."
"... Because I'm three years old?"
"That ain't gonna work, liar!"
"... Hope this works." With her right leg, Neaera kicked the man in his nuts. The impact... it broke her foot. She screamed in pain as the man released her, also in pain, but it was hard to tell who was more effected than the other. Neaera crawled away, but stopped to crack her foot back in place, something she wheezed at with some tears falling from her face. She turned to see the man snarling at her. With a flick of both wrists and another SNIKT, not only did the third claw came out, but on the other hand, another equally long & sharp looking blades came out of his other hand.
"Okay bub... Let's do this!"
"...I'm sorry." He lunged at her! She got up and ran into the school, screaming her head off.
"GET OVER HERE!!!"
Short, fuzzy, and smelly vs tall, also fuzzy, and not-so-smelly.
Neaera ran into the school, bumping into & knocking over some of the other students. Those that weren't bumped used their powers to avoid, either flying away, going into 'ghost mode', or just jumping really high.
"GANG WAY!!!" She screamed "GANG WAY!!! GANG WAAAYYY!!!" The growling was right behind her with that same guy with the claws, easily slicing his way at the various objects she used to block the way.
"You're not going anywhere!" He shouted "Only five feet under!!!" Neaera saw her room a few feet away. Though she wasn't good at her magic, she turned around and delivered a magical push that, lucky for her, knocked the man down & a few inches away from her. She ran into her room and locked it up. The clawed man got up and, with heavy marching, walked to the door, and sliced it open. He stopped as Neaera was both in her costume and had Gibson, her Sniper Rifle/Clamor sword, ready.
"Sorry." She said. A Loud BANG, and The claw man fell to the floor.
...I think you killed him.
She gasped. Lunacy walked to the claw man.
"Oh god!" She exclaimed "I killed someone! That's not a hero thing at all!"
Not unless you're Superman and Batman right now.
"This is Marvel! We don't make our movies killers on the bigscreen! That goes to that skull guy and our dad, but they're not good to begin with!"
So... should we be Anti-heroes?
"... Well... I think we many need to-" The claw man's eyes opened. Neaera shrieked as he quickly got up and stabbed in her gut with his claws! He pushed her off to the floor and stood up. Lunacy hyperventilated from the sudden action, but looked down to see her stomach & costume quickly healing.
"...Where the hell did you get it?" The clawed man growled
"...WHAT!? Excuse me!? You stabbed me in the gut, about to kill an infant, might I add, and you're now doing the pronoun game!? REALLY!?!?!?" She stood up, regaining her balance. "Know what, how about I play the pronoun game with you? Where'd you get those? Who sent ya? Who Dat? Who Dat? I-G-G-Y! Who-"
"SHUT UP!!!" He prepared his claws again. "Where'd ya get the healing factor from?"
"Oh! Thank you! See, that's more specific, folks at home. Easy; my Dad, Deadpool."
"... Uh..."
"It's complicated, but I'm here. Now, why are you doing this?"
"Oh, you're gonna find out!" Lunacy sheathed Gibson and pulled out her twin swords.
"What if I don't wanna?"
"You will. We can either do this the easy way, or the hard way."
"I think we know what we'll both agree on. HIT IT!!!"
The two ran at each other head on! Both swung at each other & dodged each other in rapid strikes, though, both got a good cut to each other that was healed just as fast. Some of the students watched the fight going on, surprised at both the fact that the newest student was fighting already & just the sheer amount of violence going on. As a short of height shaming, Lunacy quickly grabbed the claw man and, using him as a shield, she ran through some walls with him, and threw him outside. He got up, snarling at her, only to be shot multiple times by Lunacy's bullets. Lunacy ran to the claw man, still shooting at him, now yelling-
"BANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANGBANG!!!" Unfotunately, Mr. Claw man got enraged and charged at her, attempting to slice her into multiple pieces. She made her weapons go back to their sword counterparts, and she began to dodge the flurry of attacks, but did a backflip that knocked him below the jaw. After doing her backflip, she jumped at him and double penetrated him with her two swords.
KINKY!!!
She pulled her swords out as they stopped going in the air, relatively 20 feet in the air, and redirected him as a landing pad. Unfortunately, he shook himself awake, and tossed her off of him. The two free fell, still slicing at each other, and both landed roughly on the floor, breaking a couple of bones, though Neaera broke WAY much more, as all of her limbs look close to that of a Raggedy Ann Doll.
Yeesh! Descriptive very much?
"...ow." she said, holding back her tears of pain. She heard the Claw Man's bone crack loudly, with him growling in pain, followed by some snarling. "...Oh S**t. Bones... heal fast!" She attempted to move, only to see her arms & legs were equivalent to that of noodles. "Oh yeah! Well all of the sea creatures feared the octopus!" She wiggled her limbs around "Come on, snap... in... pla-!"
"Too late, bub." The smelly man's voice growled. She felt her mane pulled.
"EEP!!!" She was face to face with him. He continued his snarling. "...You have beautiful eyes."
"Talking ain't gonna save ya!" His open hand revealed his claws. "Now, it's time to end this!" He prepared to slice her head off, but froze in place. Neaera looked around, still held by her mane.
"...Uh... what's going on?"
That was close. The professor's voice was heard in her head. Charles Xavier rolled to them. "Now, release her, Logan." The Claw man dropped her, though she flopped to the floor. He was unfrozen and slashed in the air, tripping over Neaera and falling to the floor. He turned, snarling, but stopped as he saw Xavier.
"Professor?" He asked, slowly but steadily regaining more humanity. "What are you doing here?"
"Here to ask you the same thing. Weren't you in Canada?"
"Uh... little help, please?" Neaera asked.
"Oh right. Help her, Logan."
"But Professor-!" Logan attempted to complain.
"Don't 'But' me. Help her. She has no quarry with us." Logan turned to Neara and let out an angered huff.
"Alright, stay still." Neaera screamed as she felt her limbs popped back into place, followed by laughter as she felt her limbs again.
Or, as we learned, it may be more of a defense mechanism with pain.
Ahem! Anyways, Neaera got up, struggled with her balancing, but succeeded
"Ah! Feels good to stand again!" She proclaimed before turning to Logan. "And were you doing in Canada, Fuzzy pants?"
"None of your damn business!" Logan snapped.
"He was on a mission to find Ajax." Charles answered.
"Professor!"
"Hush now. Someone has been kidnapping people from many hospitals. We believe that they were-"
"Oh! You mean Francis?" Neaera interrupted.
"...Francis?"
"Oh, excuse me, 'Ajax'?" she quoted with her fingers. "Yeah, don't mind him. He's already in jail, complete with the evidence of how he did it, security footage, and completed with very bad 'sexy' pictures of him."
"So you're responsible for those victims in there!?" Logan growled.
"Those were Francis' men, Logan. The real victims were brought back to their hospital beds! MrAquino didn't add that, since we're going to have a funny flashback for that."
Earlier:
The Hospital staff inside closed for the night, but gasped as they saw a pile of groaning hospital patients. Both Deadpool and Neara ran away, blowing airhorns and cheering with Francis in his bodybag.
"See?" She asked.
"... See what?" Logan asked.
"Oh, right." A loud crash was heard. The three turned to see the damage done & the various students looking at said damage. Some of the students turned to the three. Nearea pulled her mask off and pointed at Logan. "HE DID IT!!!" She turned and ran away, only to hit something hard that made her fall & her sight to go dizzy. She saw what she hit: Colossus'... 'lower area'. She passed out.
"...Maybe I should've moved." He thought aloud.
Author's Notes:
Next Chapter's going to REALLY be like X-Men from the 90's.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8BobmZglOk
This is an idea I had, but, I know it's a long shot, but if they make a Marvel Vs Capcom 4, then Neaera should be in it. And I figure with the quotes, Neaera should be in the action.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6sX-kgqMy4
Opening pose for Neaera/Lunacy: jumping out of a portal and preparing her two swords.
Victory Pose: Sheathing her swords and gives a thumbs up to the camera. *All from her back*
*Quote time! Spider-Man, since he came first*
N/L: So, ready to be squished?
SP: I'll be sure they don't send you to the glue factory.
*Victory*
N/L: Sweet! Say, want to go on a date after the arcade mode?
SP: Ouch! Sorry for that, not really use to hitting girls.*Wolverine!*
N/L: Is it alright if I can call you Uncle Smelly?
W: Using swords against me? You're really dumb.N/L: Alright, let's go and get some shampoo, Uncle smelly!
W: Like father... like daughter... ugh...*Francis/Ajax*
N/L: Can't wait for Dad to see this!
F/A *Points hatchets*: Call me 'Francis', one more time.N/L: HA!!! Take that, Francis!!!
F/A *Sheaths hatchets and 'drags' opponent*: Hm, I can make a fortune off of you.
Initiation.
Neara snorted awake, finding herself still in her costume, but in bed. Immediately, she felt something was off and turned to her left. On her left was her mask with a note taped to it. She took the note off and read it.
Sorry.
~Colossus
Well that was necessary.
And a bit of a waste of resources.
"It's the thought that counts." she said to her voices. She turned it around.
I looked into your mind a bit and found something you may enjoy.
-Professor X.
"Ooh!" She looked and saw another tome. "OOH!!! Another Power!!!"
For the world to turn... there fire must continue to burn.
"Whatever you say, creepy voice!" She picked the Tome up and gained it's power; She saw herself throwing fireballs, both of her arms acting like flamethrowers, and abosrbed fire like it was nothing. She fell onto her bed, but got up. With a flick of a wrist, her right hand was on fire, but it didn't harm her at all.
Aw yeah! Let's burn something!!!
Where can we go to use this new power? Looking to the window, it was already dark outside. "Eh, might as well sleep in. We can use this ability tomorrow. And is it alright if you don't type my actions-?" She stopped as she heard footsteps outside, followed by some voices.
"You really think the professor made a good choice?" A man's voice spoke.
"The professor knows everyone has some good in them." A woman replied, but with a bit of an African accent.
"True, but she's wanted by SHIELD, and the daughter of Deadpool."
Roll credits.
"Yes, but they won't let her prove herself." The female replied "Besides, she's just a kid."
"A kid in a strange... unicorn-woman's body. I know Deadpool's crazy, but this... she's probably insane, especially with her 'Gain Power' ability."
How rude!
"If she is insane, then she should be the necessary insane we need."
"...Yeah... I guess you're right. I'm sounding a lot like Trask there, aren't I?"
"Yes. Come on, the professor's waiting for us."
This late at night?
The two walked away. Neaera got up from her bed and put on her mask.
"Guess we know what we're doing today." She said to herself.
Stealth mode!!!
Neaera peeked her head out of the door, seeing the two walking away. From what she can tell, the man wore a blue outfit with some yellow
And dat ass!!!
Uh... and the woman wore all white with a cape, with matching white hair, and was black herself. Neara began to follow the two, creeping along the way, turning off any lights that were on. Of course, she jumped and held onto the roof, and with no sandwich in her hands, she couldn't get caught.
"Hey, that was a one time thing, okay?"
Sorry, just wanted to have some fun. Anyways, she saw the two, now getting full detail, at least to the man, who had yellow glasses with red lenses over his eyes. The Woman pulled a head bust down, revealing some password system. She typed something down, and a column on the wall next to the two opened up, revealing an elevator. They entered said elevator, to which the door closed & everything went back to normal. Neaera jumped down and crept to the column, then to the head bust of some other old man.
Old friends, maybe?
Eh, who cares. Let's see where this goes to!
"Yeah, let's do it!" Neaera pulled down the head bust, seeing the followed by a pin pad. "Oh... uh... wait a minute... maybe it has something to do during my first day here?"
When we fought the hairy midget?
"Before that."
...The thing the Prof told us before we slept?
"Yes! Let's see if it works." She typed it down on the pin. "1-9-6-3." The column open. "YES!!!" She ran into the elevator, to with the door closing behind her.
"Hello, and welcome." A kind sounding, robotic voice spoke. "Which floor? Laboratory/Hospital? Jet room? Cerebro? The Danger Room?"
"Danger room?"
"Danger room." A ding was heard.
"No! Wait! I meant-!" The door opened, revealing a whole battle going on. "...What the F-!?" Suddenly, a giant robot hand entered the elevator and grabbed Neaera. She was pulled out to be face to face with a giant robot, that, despite being purple & blue, had an almost creepy, humanoid face.
"Scanning." It spoke, crushing Neaera in it's hand. "Subject... Female... DNA... Identifying... Half-Mutant... Level... Omega... Operation: Terminate!" It threw Neara to the floor. She coughed as she fell, but gasped as the giant robot was ready to squish her like a bug. She rolled to the floor, inches away from the giant foot. She got up and ran, but turned, seeing the giant robot was chasing after her. It's right arm transformed, now a machine gun, whirring, preparing to fire at her. She turned around and threw a fireball at it's face! It didn't seem to take damage, only ruining it's paint.
"Oh crap."
"Target holds more power. Proceeding with extreme caution. Combat mode, engaged!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxD0dWMbO5I
Neaera backed up as the robot got into a fighting position.
"Good thing I got my weapons." She said, pulling out her twin swords.
"Ineffective Weapons." The robot spoke again. "Targets holds little-" She fired at the robot, staggering a bit. "Does not compute! Does not compute!!!" Quickly, Lunacy ran to the feet of the robot, turning her weapons back to their sword counterparts, and sliced at it's left foot. She began to rapidly slice the foot so much, the plating around it broke into multiple pieces, exposing it's wires. She jumped to the wires and ripped each one out, controlling the foot for a bit, up until she accidentally kicked herself out. In the air, she was caught by the giant robot with it's right hand, crushing her as it's eyes began to glow violently, with energy pulsing from said eyes. Quickly thinking, she pulled out her huge sword and, through it's sniper scopes, she fired it's left eye out, making her drop to the floor with a whimper-like noise.
"Oh! What the matter!?" She mocked "Going to cry to your mom!?"
"Perspective dropped by 50%." It spoke. "Activating Energy beams."
"Energy beams!?" The giant robot's right foot glowed blue, and it stomped to the floor, blowing her hard, and crashing hard onto a nearby, destroyed building. "...ow." She got up slowly, but was blasted by the robot's good eye. Neaera fell to the floor, breathing hard as she attempted to get up.
Okay, when did we start sucking!?
We've always sucked.
"Not... helping..." Her healing factor kicked in. "Alright, I guess we should show this tin can why we're fire!"
...What?
Why our s**t is lit.
Oh!
Neaera ran to the robot, full speed. The robot seemingly ran back, reaching to her with it's right hand. With her Clamore sword, she sliced the robot's hand clean off, followed by sstabbing at the Achilles heel of it's right foot. The robot fell to it's knees, and, feeling a bit dirty, she jumped into the robot's exhaust point... which was in it's butt area. To add more to the immaturity, she launched a fireball in the exhaust point, which it exploded, giving the illusion that the robot fired a literal piece of flaming s**t, which, in this case, the fired turd was Neaera herself. She fell to the floor, on fire, but neither her suit nor herself harmed by the flames, but she absorbed the flames on her. The robot got up and turned to her.
"Energy depleting fast." It spoke. "Activating Sword mode." It's Right arm now had a sword. over it's nub. "Self destruct mode, activated."
"Ooh! Idea!!!"
Oh no... what is it?
Something so awesome!!!
Neaere ran to robot, avoiding it's laser that came out of it's good eye. When she was close, she stopped as the robot swung down at her with it's huge blade! With Her sword, again, she blocked the blade and held both herself up & the blade from slicing her.
"RULES OF NATURE!!!" She yelled as she pushed the blade off of her, but swung back & clashed with giant blade again. Lunacy not only picked the blade up, but the robot and threw it into the air!!! She jumped into the air, landed on the blade, and ran to the head while slicing at the blade! With a jump in the air, she came down and sliced the robot's head off!!! She landed on her feet, with her back at the falling robot pieces, all of which exploded, making her look badass.
"Training over," Xavier's voice spoke through some intercoms. "End the simulation, Hank." The destroyed place disappeared, seemingly, everything was holograms. A door opened behind, and Xavier rolled in. Neaera, for a lack of better words, was confused about everything.
"But that- And the- giant robot-... rules of nature?"
"Relax. You're in the Danger Room, a training room. You were in a program with the hologram of a future schematics of a future Sentinel, the giant robot that you just fought. As you kinda figured, it was after you, and these robots are after us Mutants, beliving we're going to take over the world with force, similar to humanity with the Neanderthals."
"...I'm still confused."
"Well, to make it easy... Neaera... welcome to the X-Men."
Author's Notes:
I'm going more with these type of Sentinels.
Lunacy: Wow, you're much smaller than the others.
Sentinel: Half-Mutant identified. Scanning, scanning.L: HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Guess Bigger is better!
S: Target Apprehended. Next target: Equestria.X-Men time!!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VxOQTaLTFrU
And don't worry, I'll follow most of the cartoon.
The X-Men
Neaera followed Xavier through the somewhat futuristic, but still retro looking underground base of operations.
"That was just an initiation!?" Neaera asked
"Yes." Xavier answered "I determine who would be the best suitors to this team, and you passed it. Perhaps surpassed it."
"Surpassed it?"
"By the fact you're able to lift a sentinel is something I didn't expect. And, despite you're... childish antics, you seem somewhat mature... somewhat. Were you in a training program before?"
"...Kinda. It was really thanks to my Uncle. And I think most of my actions came from adrenaline."
"I'll agree to that." Silence fell as she followed him
"...So... the X-Men... what are you guys about?"
"We fight for peace and equality between human and mutant. Antimutant bigotry is fierce and widespread, and it's up to us to prove that mutants aren't evil and we are just like them."
"Ah... seems kinda weird though."
"How so?"
"By the fact that they got a rich guy in a suit of armor, a soldier that seems to be on steroids, a spy woman that, were if I a man, would be easily seduced, some guy who shoots explosive arrows at me, AND a teenager with Spider-Like powers." He stopped rolling for a second.
"Hm... never really thought of that. My best guess is that they want made heroes, not born heroes."
"Tell that to The Incredibles."
"I haven't seen that film yet."
WHAT!?!?!?
Wow... he used 'Film'. We call it movies!!!
Before she could say anything, they walked into another room. Neaera could easily tell that this was some sort of science room, as depicted by the many chemistry equipment. She leaned over, seeing a beaker filled with some green goo inside. Looking both ways, she reached to poke it.
"Stop!" A different man's voice yelled.
"Who's there!?" Neaera yelled back, looking around. "Are you ghost!?"
"No. I am a scientist."
"Where are you!?"
"Look up." She followed. Hanging upside down by it's feet was a very furry, blue, monster-like figure wearing only briefs & black glasses. Neaera gasped and hid behind the professor.
"GAH!!! What the hell's that creepy looking thing!"
"Hmph. How rude." It jumped off and landed on it's feet.
"Neaera, meet Henry Philip McCoy, or, Hank." Xaveir said.
"Or if you feel like it, call me Beast."
"...That's pretty accurate." Nearea commented.
"And who might you be?"
"...The new gal here?" Hank chuckled at her remark.
"That you are, but I mean as in your name."
"Relax, Hank." Xavier said "This is Neaera."
"Hm... Neaera? Named after the Greek historian wife of Hypsicreon? Plant genus from the amaryllis family? Tachinid fly genus?"
"Uh... just from my parents, thank you." She replied.
"Oh, sorry for that. And who might your parents be?"
"Deadpool and Princess Luna." an awkward silence fell upon them. Xavier sipped some coffee. "Hey... wait a minute! You took multiple s**ts on my dad's front yard when he was around!" Xavier spat his coffee out.
"What!?" He asked in shock.
"It was a phase!" Hank quickly retorted. "And I should've figured with that suit on. I think it's best if you take it off around here, especially the mask."
"Oh, right." Neaera said, quickly taking her mask off. Hank couldn't help but stare.
"Huh... that's... interesting."
"Expecting some butt ugly mug rather than this cute pony face?"
"...More or less." She patted his head.
"At least you're honest. You can thank my mom's genes beating most of my dad's. Though, I don't think the aging helps."
"Aging?"
"Yeah... see, I age seven times faster, so, you might think I'm in my early 20's, but in reality, I'm only three years old... a three year old with nice jugs." That just Hank to stare, followed by him turning green with his cheeks perking up, and him running away. "...I said too much, didn't I?"
"You did." Xavier answered "Now come along, you'll meet the others." He rolled along and she followed. "I can already tell that you meet Colossus and Logan."
"Metal Man and Furry midget man?"
"Yes, both of them, though you shouldn't call them that, especially around Logan."
"Then what do I call him?"
"Wolverine."
"... I thought it'd be just Claws or something." They entered another room. In the room, a bunch of people in different costumes stood or sat around various TV's, all watching footage of Neaera taking on the sentinel.
"She is quite strong for her size." Colossus spoke with a warm chuckle. "She will make great X-Men member."
"Or the end of us." Logan spoke next to him. "She has her father in her."
"Of course, but she has her mother as well."
"Well we don't know who her mother is, so-" The man with the yellow glasses with red lenses spoke.
"It's Princess Luna." Neaera interrupted. The crowd turned to her. She waved to them. "Hey guys! Guess I'm with you all!" She walked to them and rewatched her actions, laughing at her entering the exhaust point. "Hehehehe... If only I wore brown, then this would've been funnier!" Logan grabbed her.
"Look, bub!" He growled "This isn't time for games! You got lucky out there!"
"Luck? Ha! That wasn't luck! That was pull skillz!"
"Ah can't really argue with that," A woman in a matching yellow suit with a Southern Accent & brown hair with a white stripe spoke. "She took down that bucket o' bolts faster than mah pa in a pie eatin' contest."
"But how is she not on burnt?" A man in a trench coat spoke in a Cajun accent.
"Oh! It's this." Neaera spoke, holding a hand out and made a fireball. The crowd gasped and Wolverine backed off.
"What the hell!?" Wolverine growled. "How did you do that!?"
"With a flick of the wrist." Her horn glowed and a stupid rap song played as she sang & flicked her wrists with dance moves. " Look at the flicka da wrist, look at the flicka da wrist. Look at the flicka da wrist, look at the flicka da wrist. Look at the flicka da wrist, look at the flicka da wrist."
"That's quite enough." Xavier spoke. "I think the rest of you should introduce yourselves, and perhaps tell her your powers." He rolled away. "And after that, come meet me, Neaera. We'll have your class schedules ready."
SCHOOL!?!?!? Aw man...
If it means meeting new friends & better experience, let's do it.
Wolverine grunted and walked away.
"I ain't spending time with her!" He growled "...I need a beer."
"I better talk with him," Colossus spoke, but extended his hand to her. "Welcome, comrade." Neaera accepted the handshake.
"Glad to be with some other special folks!" She replied.
"Good to hear... quite the grip you have." She released and he went after Wolverine. Neaera turned to the others.
"Well, just like what Colossus said, welcome to the team, sugah." The western accent woman spoke. "Name's Anna Marie, but folks 'raound here call me Rogue."
"Thanks. You're hot!"
"...'Scuze me?"
"Uh... I mean... I'm hot! I mean we're hot! No! I mean-"
"Oh pipe down, sugah. Ain't mah first time some missess find me attractive. Though, it's mah first with someone as special as you."
"I bet." Nearea drooled a bit.
"Uh... sugah?" Neaera shook herself.
"So! What do you do?"
"Glad you asked. Before you get any ideas, sorry, but ya'll can't touch my skin." An awkward silence was placed between the two.
"Uh... I didn't plan to do that, miss. I'm not even sure if-"
"Ah'm just sayin', Touch mah skin, and ya'll are gonna go down faster than whistle pig on a hot day."
"...Oh! Dangerous skin?"
"And I can take your powers away for a bit, sugah."
Oh yes! Take our powers away!!!
But it might kill us... just saying.
"And, with an incident with Miss Marvel," Rogue continued "Ah now have both her flight and strength."
EVEN MORE TEMPTING!!!
Must've been that long. Damn.
"So, if ya'll feel like it, we can... wrestle." Neaera drooled hard. If she were a man instead, or had wings, then her costume would easily express how she felt. "Hm... I'll take that as a 'yes', then." She hovered in the sky and flew off. Neaera's imagination went wild; she imagined herself and Rogue on the beach together, both wearing bikinis. They ran to each other in slow motion, followed by Neaera tripping over, falling face first into a large patch of crabs, in which they all began to snip at her face. Neara got up,screamed her face off, literally, and was slapped in the face. Said slap knocked her back into reality. Neaera groaned, but was face to face with a, though not as sexy, but beautiful looking red haired woman wearing green with golden gloves, boots, belts, and an emblem of a bird over her breasts.
"Alright," she spoke "no need to get weird with us and your fantasies with Rogue."
"...You saw that?" Neaera asked.
"Yes. I'm a telepathic, like the professor, though not as strong. Name's Jean Grey, I'm Xavier's personal assistant."
"An assistant? So... do you massage his head, or something?"
"... that only happened once. I'm going to keep a close eye on you."
"Don't trust me like Logan?"
"Not entirely. I have my doubts, but, I'm open for new members. Scott?"
"Got it." The Glasses wearing man said as Jean left. "Xavier may be the head of this school, and Jean is his second in command, but I'm the leader of the X-Men in field."
"Ooh! You must have some cool power! Can you lift things with your mind? Make things explode? Reboot horrible films to actually being decent?"
"... I have optic blasts."
"...Optic blasts?"
"I shoot lasers from my eyes."
"... Huh... that's... kinda weak."
"And I can't control it. I need these glasses to be functional."
"Ah... shame."
"How?"
"Because if you had a child, turned evil, defeated the main bad guy while saving child's life and was slowly dying, you can't tell your child to take your glasses off so you can see them with your own eyes."
"...hmph... Star Wars jokes. Hope your combat isn't as bad as your comedy." He walked off.
"Don't mind him, missty," The Cajun accent man spoke. "he's just a little nervous, that's all."
"And you are?" Neaera asked
"The name be Gambit. Overcharging things and explodin' them's what I do."
"And the staff?"
"Energy waves. Plus, it makes me look good in combat."
"...You are so 90's."
"Eh, it's what I do." He walked away.
"I ensure you that we work better outside." The Black woman in all white spoke. "I am Ororo Munroe."
"Too long to remember." Neaera spoke.
"Then call me Storm."
"That, I can, miss! And, I'm making a guess here, but you can manipulate the weather, right?"
"Hm, you are learning."
"Ooh! Can we do the Captain Planet intro!?"
"...No."
"Eh, it was worth a shot. And you, sir?" Sitting on a chair, munching on some chips, was a rather bland looking man that, though wasn't fat, wasn't fit either like the rest.
"...Me?" He asked.
"Yeah. Who are you?" He munched on another chip.
"ForgetMeNot."
"...uh-"
"Everyone forgets about me. I'll be with you all... but I doubt you'll remember me in a minute or two."
"...who are you?"
"Knew it." He continued munching on his chips.
Author's Notes:
Fun Fact: I too say film... and my parents hate it.
Yes, ForgetMeNot is a real X-Men character.
I'll loosely follow the show, both with a more modern approach, and with some comedy around the show.
New student.
Though she was there for a few days, this was Neaera's first day as a student in Xavier's school for gifted youngsters. She didn't really notice it before, but she many of the students around also had special gifts like her, albeit, not looking like human-pony hybrids. Many of the students took a quick note of her, but instead of pointing at her, nor saying she's a freak, they shrugged and continued on with their day.
Huh... did they know we fought Logan?
At that moment, some boys ran to her.
"Excuse me," the 'leader' of the boys spoke, who had spikes sticking out of his back. "but you fought Professor Logan yesterday, right?"
Jinxed.
Neaera couldn't help but smile.
"I did." she answered
"Cool! How was he like!?"
"Well... let's say his bite is worse than his bark."
"That sounds dangerous."
"It is. Don't try to do it... uh-"
"Oh, I'm Spyke." The Bell chimed. "Uh oh! I gotta get to class!"
"Same thing here." She pulled out a piece of paper. "Do you know where..." She paused as she Cyclops outside, leading some students. "Oh, never mind." She ran to the group of students, one of which happened to be Negasonic Teenage Warhead, on her cellphone again. Cyclops was teaching everyone about how to aim their powers.
"And please, I'm sure you listened to N.W.A, don't use this on the police." Some collective chuckling was heard. "Ah, I see you're here, Neaera."
"Yep! Right here, ready for an edimucation!" He smirked.
"Glad to see someone's ready... unlike some other students." Various eyes turned to Negasonic, still on her phone. Neaera, wanting to be a good Samaritan... slapped the phone out of Negasonic's hand. The short haired girl slowly turned to her.
"...The fuck did you jut do?" she glared at Neaera.
"Lessons." Neaera pointed.
"And for your language," Cyclops spoke "Why don't you demonstrate for the class?" Negasonic groaned as she walked to the front. Her hands glowed like miniature suns, and with a movement that looked like a kamehameha, she blasted a ball at a target at least a mile from all of them, literally exploding it, leaving only a crater. Many of the students took a step back as she turned back and walked to them.
"Be glad that wasn't you." She warned to Neaera, picking up her phone.
"... Now I wanna explode things." Neaera said to herself.
Though she was going to train with the X-Men every week, she had to be with the other students during their P.E. class. To say some of the students gawked at her would be an understatement, as many of the male students noses bleed like waterfalls immediately as she stood in her gym bra & shorts. Even if she was covered in fur, many of the guys didn't mind that at all, some even saying they wanna ride her like a horse.
"I'm a pony, idiots." she grumbled under her breath. Of course, thought the boys gawked at her, many of the ladies there thought that her 'girls' and 'backdoor' are fake.
"I bet that her daddy got it." One of the girls whispered
"I think it's rough." Another whispered.
"Oh yeah!" Neaera said, walking to the girls and turning. "Go on, get a feel." Pretty much when she said that, it became a vine with everyone running and touching her backdoor... minus their teachers... Wolverine and Colossus. Both just stared at the sight; Wolverine just thought of Neaera as being more of her father, using sexual appeal to get what she wanted, but Colossus puked, knowing that she was only three years in an adult body.
"...Maybe she shouldn't be with these students." Colossus suggested.
"Agreed," Logan replied "don't want her flashing some boys for a good grade."
"... I'm feeling sick again."
Luckily, in history, none of the students were gakwing at her normal clothing as Storm taught them world history, more specifically, Mesopotamia, the first civilization ever. For Neaera, she got bored and read through the textbook... all 4000+ pages in less than fifteen minutes. When that was over, she wrote all the things in her books, nearly word for word, which took about ten minutes.
"Neaera?" Storm asked. Neaera jumped and looked ahead.
"Yes?" She asked
"Tell me, what-?"
"Mesopotamia is a name for the area of the Tigris–Euphrates river system, roughly corresponding to modern-day Iraq, Syria and Kuwait, including regions along the Turkish-Syrian and Iran–Iraq borders; Widely considered to be one of the cradles of civilization by the Western world, Bronze Age Mesopotamia included Sumer and the Akkadian, Babylonian, and Assyrian empires, all native to the territory of modern-day Iraq. In the Iron Age, it was controlled by the Neo-Assyrian and Neo-Babylonian Empires. The indigenous Sumerians and Akkadians (including Assyrians and Babylonians) dominated Mesopotamia from the beginning of written history as early as 3100 BC, to the fall of Babylon in 539 BC, when it was conquered by the Achaemenid Empire. It fell to Alexander the Great in 332 BC, and after his death, it became part of the Greek Seleucid Empire. Around 150 BC, Mesopotamia was under the control of the Parthian Empire. Mesopotamia became a battleground between the Romans and Parthians, with parts of Mesopotamia coming under ephemeral Roman control. In AD 226, it fell to the Sassanid Persians and remained under Persian rule until the 7th century Muslim conquest of Persia of the Sasanian Empire. A number of primarily neo-Assyrian and Christian native Mesopotamian states existed between the 1st century BC and 3rd century AD, including Adiabene, Osroene, and Hatra. Mesopotamia is the site of the earliest developments of the Neolithic Revolution from around 10,000 BC. It has been identified as having "inspired some of the most important developments in human history including the invention of the wheel, the planting of the first cereal crops and the development of cursive script, mathematics, astronomy and agriculture."" Storm and the class blinked at what she said.
"...Okay, I think that's the end of class for today."
Everyone stared at Neaera during her lunch break. While there was a huge assortment of fruits & vegetables on the tables, Neaera scarfed down multiple tacos, burritos, and, more than likely from her father's side, chimichangas. Man of the boys, though most were 'turned off' by her actions, others thought that just by the fact that she acted a lot like their favorite anime characters was a dream come true. Rogue, who was more or the less the cafeteria lady, stared at how Neara was like during her meals.
"She must be as hungry as a horse." She commented to no one. However, Neaera heard what she said and turned to her with fury.
"*I'M A PONY!!!*" She yelled, her mouth still stuffed.
The science lab was where Beast was at, teaching the various students inside, along with Neaera, different chemicals used for certain experiments. Truth be told, Neaera was completely lost at this, mostly because she found herself making much more different chemicals than others, with different reactions. Case in point, everyone made Nitrogen gas from acids and metals, but with Neaera, she made a weird creature that looked like a mix between a Chihuahua and a bat. In essence, she both graduated & flopped that class; graduated because she made life, flopped because of how she brought a pet in. Luckily, she didn't care, and brought her weird creature out with her, which, in itself, made weird noises that sounded very nasal like. As she sat, tending to her weird creature, feeding it cherries she snagged from lunch, and was meet with another voice.
"Hey." Another, young woman's voice said. Neaera turned to see a long, red haired woman, probably almost 20.
"Hey." Neaera replied, turning back to her creature.
"What's that thing?"
"I don't know. I made him today."
"...Made him?"
"Chemistry class. Don't know how I did it."
"Ah.Got kicked out?"
"Yep."
"Gave it a name, yet?"
"Hm... my 80's senses are tingling, so... I'm gonna call him... Puckmarin."
"Puckmarin?"
"Hey, it's better than some cliched pet name like Rex. Like that name?" It let out a weird cackle, an agreeing sounding one. "I knew you'd like it!"
"Hm, that's nothing compared to my pet." Neaera turned to her.
"You have a pet!?"
"Yep. C'm here, Lockheed!" A hissing noise was heard, followed by the flapping of wings. Falling from the sky & landing on her shoulder was a cat sized, winged purple dragon with glowing yellow eyes. It cooed, rubbing it's head on her face. "Ahh, there's a good boy!"
"Cool! A Dragon!"
"Almost. He's an Alien Dragon."
"Even cooler!!!... Think our little guys should hang out? Have pet play dates?" The girl turned to Lockheed.
"Can you be nice with her little guy?" Lockheed let out an affirmative cooing noise. "That's a good boy. Oh! Almost forgot! Name's Kitty Pryde, or, Shadowcat."
"Shadowcat?"
"It's my nickname around here. I can phase through solid objects without harm."
"Cool! Name's Neaera, or, Lunacy, if you'd like to call me that."
"I take it that it's because you're a bit crazy?"
"Considering I just made this little guy, then yeah, I am."
Her last class for the day was more or less a mixture of a bunch of art classes, ranging from painting to music. Jean Grey was there, and Xavier was next to the room, having his own class, probably with more or less the 'real world' skills his students will need to get a job & whatnot. Neaera, not caring if Xaveir could see or not, didn't want that class at all, since not only did she want to be a legit hero, but who'd hire a pony/woman hybrid? This was joked, by the Xavier, about Sarah Jessica Parker, something Neaera was baffled about.
"Neaera?" Jean grey spoke.
"Oh! Yes, ma'am?" Neaera returned, turning to her.
"We're about to begin our music session. Know how to use an instrument?"
"It doesn't take a psychic to know that I don't."
"Well, we have open instruments for you to use. Take your pick." Neaera looked around the various equipment. While most band classes would only have 'classic' instruments, like flutes, pianos, trumpets, ECT., Neaera was lucky that Xavier's school wasn't afraid to go modern, though she regretted to see much of the students were on laptops. To not fall with them, she picked up the instrument that she knew her father was, at most times, decent with: A guitar. "Ah! Going with the more rock & roll feel, I see?"
"I was thinking more like Heavy Metal, but yeah, Rock can also do."
"Whatever makes you feel comfortable. Now, care to try out your instrument, see if it's well tuned?" Neaera followed, plucking the strings. It didn't sound right, but she adjusted said strings and plucked again... and performed an awesome theme song. Jean and the other students were surprised to see how she performed so well, and on her first try. Xavier and his students noticed the music playing, turning and watching Neaera perform on the guitar. He was baffled as well. Soon, pretty much all of the students around campus heard and followed the music playing, though only a few got a good glimpse of Neaera performing. Neaera didn't notice the gazing eyes, but was focused on her tune, and didn't freak out when her fire ability set her hands ablaze, finding that it wasn't burning the guitar, but acted more as an effect.
Oh man! Our sing is fire!!!
I don't get that. And I think this song is from someone else.
As soon as she finished it, she finally noticed the students & staff all around, staring at her.
"...Uh... hi?" She greeted meekly. The crowd cheered and lifted her away.
Hey... Is that what being a hero feels like?
Guitar hero?
No, I mean, as in... what we're trying to be.
"Whatever it is," Neaera spoke, "I wanna have this feeling again!"
The day came to an end, and after a near nonstop barrage of compliments from her peers, Neaera got to her room. Puckmarin hanged onto the lamp near her bed, chewing on another cherry.
"Glad to see you're not bombarded with people that want you as their friend on Facebook." Neare groaned, flopping onto her bed. Puckmarin let out another one of his nasal laughs. "Shut up... it ain't my fault I'm awesome. But damn... I hope this school year end quickly." Puck made a confused sound. "I wanna kick ass and chew bubblegum." She reached into her pocket, only to pull out lint. "And I'm all outta gum." She pulled her cellphone out and gave a text message to her father.
Hey, Dad. Had a long day today.
Define 'long'
Joined the X-Men last night and attended all their classes. Now popular.
That's my girl! Mom says hello.
Tell Mom I said 'I <3 her'
Gotcha. Have uh good day and kick ass.
"I will... tomorrow." Neaera yawned and snored away... at least until the door opened. She turned to see Storm and Rouge wearing normal clothes.
"Wanna go shopping?" Rogue asked.
"HELL YEAH!!!" She ran out with the two. "Sleep tight, Puckmarin!" Puckmarin let out a sound that sounded similar to 'whatever'.
Author's Notes:
I actually rewatched Flight of the Navigator last night. Thought Neaera may need some pet with her, both to keep her company, and have something similar to Luna's Opossum.
Also, if there's any supposed continuity errors, just know that this is an alternate universe that blends the comics, cartoons, and movies... but only the good stuff, so no Barakapool or the Amazing Hipster.
Night of the Sentinels
Author's Notes:
I'll sometimes make a larger chapter with these 2 parters.
Though Neaera intentionally wanted to go with Rogue and Storm to the mall, they were joined by Gambit and, later, Cyclops. Said mall was a fairly short drive, and Neaera had some cash that she earned from her fans.
"Neaera," Storm spoke as they exited their car. "I know you're excited, but if you're going to spend money, make sure it's something that's going to be useful, like clothing or books."
"Pfft! Like I'm gonna spend all my cash on something stupid." Neaera replied, heading to the mall.
"And you better not show your face too much, sugah!" Rogue added "Y'er gonna be considered a mutant."
"I'll say it's makeup!"
"And be here before it closes!"
"Got it!"
In the mall, Neaera explored many of the stores of the mall and-
"I think this calls for a fun montage, MrAquino."
Oh... I can work with that. And I got a song that will work for you.
"Hit it!"
Neaera tried on different outfits in a nearby clothing store, this one being a Japanese school girl outfit.
"So Kawaii!" She said, turning around a mirror.
A couple were too busy sucking faces with each other when their Italian food was served. Neaera quickly snatched the tray from them and ran off, shoving the noodles in her mouth. The couple still made out.
Neaera, in a Spencers gift shop, picked up a Horse Head mask, unamused. Gambit, in the store with her, holding some cards, couldn't help but chuckle at the sight... until Neaera threw the horse head at him, knocking him to the floor.
In the same clothing store, Neaera wore a goth outfit, complete with black makeup... all over her face.
"Does this count as a blackface joke?" she asked
The couple from earlier were still making out. Neaera walked to them, slurping the noodles she stole, and watched in utter confusion. She poked the guy, then the girl. They were unfazed.
Neaera slid down an elevator, jumping off and landing to some candy machines. She pulled out many quarters from her pockets.
Same clothing store, only, she was dressed as a certain videogame character. She turned to the mirror, seeing how big her 'backporch' was, and slapped it.
"Does this make my ass look big?" She asked to the store owner. He fell with a waterfall nose bleed.
Neaera dumped many food on the couple, who were still making out! Seeing how they were unfazed, she ran away and came back with a baseball bat. She swung at the two, only for the bat to break into 2. She gasped and looked in shock, both at the bat and the unfazed, still making out couple.
In a simple toy store, Neaera ran from her life in an aisle, screaming her head off. Chasing her was a Furby.
In a more skeptic looking clothing Store, Neaera posed in another mirror, this time, looking like a Cop.
"You have the right to remain sassy."
A pile of broken tools were behind Neaera as she used a jackhammer on the couple. It broke in a few seconds. She sighed and touched the guy's hair. They finally stopped kissing.
"What your problem!?" He yelled "Why you touching my hair!"
"F***BOI!!!" Neara yelled, pointing at him and walking off with a loud grunt.
The same toy store, and Neaera ran the opposite way, still screaming. More Furbies were chasing her.
Now, she dressed up as a cowgirl. She posed with it's two guns.
"Bang Bang." It fired a real bullet, making her and the staff scream. "WHY IS THIS REAL!?!?!? WHY!?!?!?"
Neaera quickly ran into the bathroom. All that was heard was some guys 'Wooing'. She ran out, embarrassed with more cash, and entered the opposite restroom.
Neaera ran the opposite way again in the tory store, and was chased by a tsunami of Furbies.
She walked down the aisle of the store, bags in hands, a furby gnawing at her left ear, but stopped as she saw an arcade.
"Ooh! Haven't been here yet. End song."
Neaera walked into the arcade, seeing a bunch of teenagers around, playing on said arcade machines.
Hey! This our kind of place!
Indeed. The teenage years usually end at the early 20's, more specifically, 21.
"Quit ruining the vibe." Neaera said to herself, walking around. "Hm... Donkey Kong... Double Dragon... Mortal Kombat... Rampage... so much to choose from!" A nearby arcade machine exploded. "And one less." Neaera peeked around a corner, seeing what looked like a girl a bit younger than her (physically) and wore something that looked like she was going to do the dishes... in the rain.
"No!" She yelled "Not again!!!"
"Hey, you!" The owner of the arcade yelled, an old man with a grey mullet. "Do you know how much that game costs!?" The woman looked to the busted arcade and pulled down the pink shades she had on her head, attempting to look cool.
"Yeah, a quarter."
"OOH!!!" Neaera and the crowd yelled in unison.
"Hey, you're one of them, ain't ya!" The mullet grandpa yelled. She ran out. He followed and shook his fist at her "We don't want ya lousy mutants around here!!!"
"Wow... racist." Neaera said, walking out. "Oh, and here's my gift." She flipped the bird to him and followed the other girl. "Hey! Wait!!! LOOK OUT!!!" She crashed into Storm & Rogue, both with their own bags from various stores. The ladies all fell from their crash, though Neaera slid to them
"Hey! Watch where you're going!"
"I warned you." Neaera said. The woman turned to Neaera and gasped.
"What-!? What are you!?"
"Wow, how rude. I'm a mutant, like you. Name's Neaera, and you just crashed into Storm and Seeee-xxxxx-ierrrr-Rogue."
"...It's just Rogue, Sugah." Rogue said, rolling her eyes.
"WHY ARE YOU SO HOT!?!?!?" The girl got up and ran from them. "No! Not you! Her! I mean, us! I mean... A trois voies sexe!" She was slapped in the face by Storm. "...Thanks... I need that."
"Good. Now, focus on me." Storm ordered. "Why were you chasing that girl?"
"...Oh! I was looking through the arcade, but heard an explosion, saw her with a destroyed machine, got yelled at for being a mutant, and, we're here."
"Hm... another mutant? Hope she's not too hurt." Neaere froze. "What's wrong?" Neaera's ears flicked.
"... She's in danger!!! Quickly! To the next scene!!!"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yic7IRO9d6I
Neaera, Storm, and Rogue stopped as they saw the raincoat wearing girl being held by wires that came from the hands of... a sentinel!
"Help!!!" She yelled "Someone!!! Anyone!!!"
"Ooh! A sentinel!" Neaera spoke, reaching to pull out her swords... only to realize that she didn't have any of her weapons with her. "...Oh crap." Lightning clapped, making the pony-human mix jump and hold onto Rogue... followed by her muffling as her face was inbetween Rogue's 'girls'. "Me Gusta."
"Get off!" Rogue yelled, pushing her off. They both turned to see Storm with a small cloud * lighting over her head.
"Storm!" She yelled, sounding a bit similar to Gandalf. "Mistress of the elements, commands you to release that child!!!"
"But I want her to hold me." Neaera said. Rogue slapped the back of her head.
"Lighten up on the speeches, sugah." Rogue said. The Sentinel scanned them quickly, indicated by some beeping & the blinking of its red eyes.
"Unidentified Mutants..." It spoke "Ignore." It stood right up.
"IGNORE!?!?!?" Neaera yelled "B***H!!! I'LL SHOW YOU TO IGNORE!!!" Storm zapped herself, taking off her normal clothes for her costume. With a blast of lightning, the wires came off. She flew and picked up the girl.
"Let's see what you got, sugah!" Rogue spoke to Neaera. "Consider this yer first mission!"
"Oh-hoho!!! I'm ready!" Neara ran to the mutant, using the escalator. The sentinel aimed it's left arm at them.
"Mutant! Stop!" It ordered. Rogue, quickly thinking, grabbed the escalator steps Neaera was on and flapped it like it was a carpet. Not only did this block the blast that the Sentinel fired, but it launched Neara to the robot's face! Neaera landed on the robot's face and ripped it's right eye out, followed by ripping it's 'nose' off. She jumped off and landed on it's shoulder as Rogue flew to robot, delivering a hard uppercut, followed by a right hook, a left straight punch, and another right hook. The sentinel fell onto it's back, crashing it's head into the store & it's back on the railing of the second floor. Neaera jumped onto the Sentinel's head and began to rip melt the top off with her fire. Storm flew next to Rogue, concentrating a lightning bolt at it. The Sentinel got up and fired it's two lasers at the women, hitting both and blasting them away.
"OH YOU MOTHER F**KA!!!" Neaera yelled, ripping the top off and grabbing some wires from it's head. The Sentinel's legs went crazy, but it grabbed Neara & crushed her in it's grasp. Neaera winced in pain, but this sentinel didn't look as advanced as the one she fought in the simulation. If only she had her weapons.
"Stand aside, mutant." The sentinel spoke to her, still crushing her "I must apprehend that mutant."
"Apprehend this!" The Cajun accent of Gambit yelled back, followed by some exploding cards. It released Nearea as it stumbled backwards. She got up and ran, hiding behind a pillar, only to be next to the girl.
"...Hi." Neaera greeted herself.
"What's happening!?" The girl asked
"Oh, we're battling against a giant robot, which seems pretty cheap looking, if you ask me, and-"
"No! Why's it after me!"
"After you? Uh... are you good in math?"
"...What?"
"Be honest, are you good in math?"
"No, not really."
"...Well, guess that's ruled out."
"What!?"
"Well... you're Asian... and I figured that... well-"
"That's racist!!!"
"I know! But we're mutants, okay!?" She looked around the corner. "Oh, and Gambit's out."
"What!?" The girl peeked out. Both coukd see Gambit knocked out in a car, with the Sentinel looking at him.
"Unregistered Mutant... expendable." It spoke. The girl got out of her corner.
"Get away from him!!!" She yelled "I mean it!" She pointed her hands at the sentinel, and out came fireworks.
"Oh God!" Neaera yelled "That's why! They wanna reboot Jem and the Holograms again!!!" The Sentinel charged at the girl. She ran out of the Mall. Neaera followed.
"Wait!" Gambit yelled "Help!"
"No one likes you!!!" Neaera yelled.
Outside, Neaera saw Cyclops, in costume, blasting at the Sentinel's head, decapitating it. She shrugged and ran to Cyclops and the kid.
"How'd that happen?" She asked.
"Sleeping Gas." Cyclops answered. "She's going to be out for a while. We'll take her to the professor and the head of the Sentinel; he'll help her out and we'll find out what the Sentinel was doing."
"...It said something about 'registered mutants'... that's it, though."
"Hm... interesting."
"...How are we gonna bring the head in?" Rogue and Storm landed to them.
"We'll take turns." Rogue spoke. Neaera drooled as Rogue lifted the head of the Sentinel and flew off. "...If only I can fly."
Back at the school, all of the students were alseep... except for the X-Men. Neaera got into her outfit, but held onto her mask and had Puckmarin hold onto her horn, having another cherry. She read a book that was in the library, but was in the adult section... but the thing was a lot more juvenile than adult, with it's erotic wordplay making her laugh even more.
"How did this become a movie!?" She asked herself. "Seriously!? If this Twilight Fanfic can become a movie, then why don't we get an official Fallout Equestria movie!... That sounds a lot better than this crap, actually." She burned the book. The door opened and Xaveir entered. "...Uh... Puckmarin did it." Puck let out a small 'What!?'
"Relax, Neaera," Xavier spoke. "I never understood why we had that. Glad we won't have one less porn thing around here. But come, I think you'll like this." She got up and followed the professor out to the hallway. "You know, when you first landed on the news as the 'Deadpool Sympathizer', I was a bit concerned if you were like your father and tried to make contact to you."
"Tried? I think you failed on that part, Prof... no offense."
"None taken. I am glad that Hank was able to fix Cerebro; we don't want anymore mutant harmed, do we?"
"Uh... what's a Cerebro?"
"My apologies, but it's best for you to see for yourself." The two stopped at a door with an 'X' in front. In the middle of the X, a blue scanner flipped. Xavier rolled closer and held his right eye open as the machine scanned it.
"Welcome, Professor." A robotic, but calm sounding woman voice spoke as the doors opened. The two entered, though it was really a large dome with a walkway stopping halfway through.
"...Is this where you get the good Wi-Fi at?" Neaera asked, looking over the edge.
"No," Xavier replied, strolling to the center, where stand was at, complete with button and a helmet. "Cerebro is more or less my tool. It enhances my powers."
"Enhances!? Aren't you already powerful?"
"Yes, I am, but only with a single person. Hank and an old friend helped made Cerebro, as a way to find and recruit more X-Men."
"Ooh!? Who's your old friend?" Silence was heard as Xavier put the helmet on.
"That's for another time, Neaera. Let's just say... we have our differences." He leaned forward and flicked some buttons. "And, whatever you do, don't panic."
"Panic? Why would I-" The room darkened, followed by an explosion. "GAHH!!! WHAT THE F**K!?!?!?" She jumped and landed on Xavier's held, holding onto his bald head like a cat
"Told you, don't panic, this is normal. And please, get off."
"What's going on!?"
"Can you please, get off?" Neaera hastily got off, but hold onto Xavier's wheelchair. "Thank you. What you see isn't a literal explosion, but an explosion of everyone's consciousness. You'll see right about... now." The explosion died, and images of different people passed by, albeit, now blurs. Neaera watched in awe as she saw various flew past and around her, each doing their own thing; businessmen booking an airplane to another country, a mother reading a bedtime story to twin sisters, some kids in England dressed up as a different hero, and, of course, various heroes and villains, dukeing it out!
"Whoah... you see everything?"
"Yes, everything. The Good and the bad. As long as someone's alive, I can sense what they're doing right now. ... I sense you want to see Peter Parker, don't you?"
"Wha-!? Oh, I uh... I was just curious on-"
"No need. Have a look." The people wooshed past them. Neaera watched as she could see Peter Parker, as Spider-Man, hanged upside down at some guys robbing some diamonds.
"Well, if it isn't the meeting of the Diamond Lovers of America." Spider-Man joked.
"It's Spider-Man!!!" One of the masked goons yelled in shock.
"What!? Spider-Man!? Where, Where!? Oh, I get so flustered when I meet a celebrity; I just don't know what to say!"
"Get 'im!" One of the goons pulled out a pistol and blasted at the web swinger. Being as quick as a bullet himself, Spider-Man turned himself back to a standing position and leaped at the crook, blinding him with a quick web across his face. He did a back-flip, knocking the guy out and dropping his gun. Before another goon could get the gun, Spidey webbed it to the floor, and the man's hand stuck in it as well.
"Ah ah ah! I know you guys want to share, but that's not a toy." One of the men swung at him with a baseball bat. Spidey quickly ducked, the bat inches away from his own face, followed by a quick right hook to the goon's face. "Ooh!!! Strike one!" The goon growled, swinging the bat down like a sword. Spider-Man quickly slid under the goon, got up, and kicked his butt. "Strike two! Can Mr. Batter get it for the team!?"
"Grah!!!" The batter swung at Spider-Man again, but the web head grabbed the bat and threw the guy at the wall, knocking him unconscious.
"Strike three! And he's outta here!!! Spider-Man wins by one run!!!" Police sirens blared, followed by the police officers. Spider-Man saluted to the officers. "They're all yours, good sirs." He fired a web into the sky and swung away.
Neaera applauded at the performance, followed by Puckmarin.
"Aw man, if only I was there." She said.
"Yes, but you may not want to do that, not until later." The professor warned, zooming out. "But I need to find out who sent that Sentinel to the mall. I was a bit carried away and... wait a minute..." He zoomed in. The same girl from the mall that they brought in was right behind their door. "It's the girl! She's trying to escape!" Cerebro went back to it's normal state as he took the helmet off and pressed a button, opening the door and setting off an alarm. "Go! Go get her!"
"On it!" Neaera replied running ahead, seeing the back of the girl. "Hey! Wait up! I got pictures of a super cute pretty boy!!!"
She lost the girl. Neaera looked around the opening to the danger room, followed by Storm, Beast, and a new guy.
"Who the hell are you!?" Neaera demanded.
"Who am I?" The man demanded, quickly turning into her, voice included. "The question, who are you?"
"Gah!!!" She slapped him across the face, turning him back to normal. "Damn, that's creepy!!!"
"Aplogies for his actions," Storm spoke "Neaera, this is Morph, one of our other members. He just came back from his... vacation."
"Vacation? Like what?"
"We'd like to ask that as well." Beast replied.
"But the child-" Storm spoke, but was interrupted by a 'Clang!'. Beast inputted a password and the door opened. Inside, Wolverine was lying on the wall as Gambit stood near the child.
"Found her!" Neaera pointed out.
"Is she alright?" Wolverine groaned as he rubbed his head.
"Not for long." He spoke.
"Th-they were fighting," the girl spoke "And I wanted to help him! And then, 'Boom!'" Neaea, Beast, and Morph couldn't help but laugh. Neaera ran to Wolverine, her face nearly touching his.
"YOU GOT KNOCKED THE F*** OUT!!!" She laughed. Wolverine growled and his claws came out.
"Wanna go Round 2, bub!?" Nearea gasped and ran to the girl, holding her.
"L-Let me give you a tour, miss...?"
"Jubilee." The girl said "And don't hold me, horse woman!"
"Horse Woman!? Busqueeze me!?"
"I think it's best I take her," Storm spoke, walking to Neaera "you're still new here."
"...Fine." She dropped Jubilee and turned, crossing her arms. "But she's not my friend... yet." Storm walked to Jubille.
"Come with me, child, I'll explain who we are."
"... Who's hungry?" Neaera asked.
In the X-Men meeting room, everyone sat around a circular table... though Neaera herself scarfed down her 3rd Chimichanga, many of the chunks landing on Puckmarin, giving him a small Mexican meal. The Computer had the Sentinel's data on screen, including a still image of Jubilee.
"I've managed to retrieve parts of the Sentinel's visual memory," Xavier spoke. "take a closer look as I replay it backwards." Wolverine walked in.
"Howdy, Wolverine," Rogue said "take a load off."
Oh! We will!
Yep. In about 2 hours.
"Anybody notify the kid's parents?" Wolverine asked
"We gave 'em a hollar, but they didn't hollar back."
"There!" Xavier jumped at another, full body picture of Jubilee. "That ID photograph is from the Mutant Control Agency Registration Files. That's how the Sentinel found her."
"Professor Xavier?" Cyclops asked "Could the government really be plotting against mutants?"
"... Maybe." Neaera spoke, finishing her chimichanga. "I mean, Zootopia is really just a retelling of the Crack/Cocain Conspiracy of the 80's and how it affected the minority; I.E., Black people... or African Americans to you Politically correct folks. *Cough**Cough*Tumblr*Cough**Cough*" She paused as she remembered the main character and shivered. "Anything but a cop bunny." Xavier blinked at what she said, but shook his head.
"No," he said "The Mutant Control Agency is a private organization and Occasionally supported by the government. Someone at the Agency appears to have a hidden agenda."
"Pfft! Yeah, 'hidden'. Like giant robots are subtle."
"...Hate to admit it," Wolverine spoke "but the kid's right on that."
"YES!!! YES!!!" Xavier took a deep breath as he changed the screen to a building.
"That building is the headquarters of the Mutant Control Agency. Somewhere, in there, are the registration files of hundreds of mutants, innocently duped into revealing their identities."
"So we get in and we shred 'em?" Wolverine asked.
"How did you change out of costume so fast!?" Neaera asked.
"I'd get in there alone," Gambit spoke "Easy!"
"Anyone else noticing this!?"
"No, Xavier spoke "Storm will take four X-Men in with her: Wolverine, Beast Lunacy, and Morph."
"HELLO!?!?!? COSTUME CHANGER HERE!!!" Neaera waved her arms.
"If it makes you feel any better, Gambit," Morph said, his head turning into Gambit's with his accent "I go in like this, eh?"
"Is anyone listening to me anymore!?"
"Cyclops," Xavier spoke "You will be in overall command."
"MOTHER F***ER!!!" Neaera flipped the table and stormed out. Everyone paused. Rogue turned to Wolverine.
"Oh, how'd you change so fast, sugah?" she asked
"F**K YOU!!!... And Jubilee's gone!"
After a while, the team landed outside of the building though their plane, the Blackbird.
"Everybody," Cyclops spoke as the Blackbird's doors opened "Stay close."
"Not too close." Rogue warned as they made their way to to the building. "You know, when I was thirteen, I had myself a boyfriend, up 'til I kissed him. Old boy was in a coma for three days. That was when I realized that if I touched anybody, I absorbed their strength right into me... some power, huh? That's when the boys stopped callin'." Beast chuckled.
"Consider yourself fortunate," He said "I had dandruff."
"Hey, whenever I got in trouble at school," Morph spoke turning into another man. "I used to turn myself into the principal."
"At least you're not the weird result of the princess of the night from a different universe getting pregnant after having sex with the Merc with the mouth." Neara said to the group. "And, of course, ages seven times faster and may be stuck like this for the rest of her life." Everyone blinked silently. "Oh, and where's fuzzy wuzzy?"
"Right here, Glue." Wolverine growled "Her scent went gone... and I got bit by a dog."
"Of course, you get all the b****es." Everyone else blinked.
"...Uh... Ahem, Storm." Cyclops spoke, awkwardly breaking the silence. Storm nodded and lifted her hand; her eyes became white, the clouds above moves & blocked the moon. Neaera put on her mask.
"Alright... stealth mode, engaged."
Lunacy, Wolverine, Beast, and Morph snuck to the outter walls, which were electric fences. Lunacy jumped over the fence, but landed on-
"Whoopie Cushions!?" she yelled "Seriously!?"
"Hey! You!" A guard yelled. She gasped and slapped the guard unconscious.
"Yeah! That's my pimp hand, b***h!!!"
"Quiet!" Wolverine growled.
"Whoa!!!" Morph yelled as Beast tossed him over the wall.
"More like him?" Neaera asked. Wolverine growled and was tossed over the wall himself. Beast leapt over the wall and the two snuck around the wall, but bumped into a guard.
"HALT!!!" The guard yelled. Neaera reacted quickly, doing the splits and punching him below the belt. The giuard fell to the floor and wheezed. All of the men turned to her.
"What!? Want me to stab him?"
"That won't be necessary." Storm spoke, landing in front of the group "This way."
"Much obliged." Wolverine replied, letting his claws out and slicing the door open. Neaera, however, picked up the guard's keys and jingled them. "I'll buy 'em a new door, then!" He sniffed the air "Hold on... laser beams."
"You can detect the infra-red spectrum?" Beast asked
"I can smell 'em."
"You can see them as well," Storm said, her eyes glowing white again "as the mist rises." Mist entered the room, revealing many lasers in the room, all in ways that'd seem impossible.
"Well, I'm not going in there." Morph spoke "Beast?"
"I would, but this is far too tricky." Beast replied "What about you, Ne-?" He paused. Neaera dropped her costume and was in her gym clothes.
"Fan service." She simply replied, stepping ahead. "You guys keep watch... this calls for someone with a bit more... flexibility." Techno music was heard as she slowly, but steadily, made her way around the lasers, doing various backflips, handstands, and ballet-like moves... all while singing. "Danger...Laser...Tetris...Impossible...Q-Bert...Frogger...Dig Dug...Marble Madness...Centipede...Millipede...Tenacious...Impossible-Impossible!" She stopped at a panel labeled 'Security'. With only room for her head, surprisingly, she used her horn to open the lock. "Just like Aunt Celestia taught me." She used her horn to flip the switches, turning off the security. All the lasers went away. The rest joined.
"Wow! That was amazing!" Morph complimented.
"And hot." Neaera added, turning and slapping her own butt.
"PUT YOUR DAMN CLOTHES BACK ON!!!" Wolverine growled, throwing her costume back at her.
The group arrived at another door. Storm reached to open the door, but Wolvering blocked.
"Hold on." He said, sniffing the air. "I smell gun oil." Neaera took out one of her shortswords.
"Hello?" She asked.
"Not yours! Guards; they're onto us!"
"Then step to the side." Storm spoke. Huge gusts of winds blew out of her hands, blowing both the door and guards away. They all ran, following storm, but stopped as they were close to the documents.
"Allow me." Morph said, turning into a high commanding guard. He entered the room, alerting the soldiers. "We're under attack! Report to the guard room, immediately!" The guards replied a 'Yes, sir!' and ran to the guard room. Morphs turned back to normal and snickered. "So long, suckers!!!" He closed the door on the guards. "Looks like clear sailing from here."
"Cool!" Neaera spoke "Let's get these files outta here and start ourselves..." he hands went on fire "A little cookout."
"You do that, Lunacy." Storm spoke "Beast, you have the computer."
"My pleasure," he spoke, taking a seat "no mutant name shall remain."
"Let's turn up the heat!!!" Neaera yelled. Beast, most likely on accident, clicked on the computer's keyboard, and very fitting fire music played. Neaera danced to the song, launching several fireballs at the files tossed around by Wolverine, Morph, and Storm.
"Storm!?" Cyclops spoke through an intercom "Storm, we got trouble out here!"
"Understood." Storm replied
"And... that's all folks!" Neaera spoke, burning the last file into a pile of fire. "And now, shall we dance to the gods for Rain?"
"Let's go, beast!!!" Wolverine growled again, holding the door as soldiers tried to bust through.
"When I am in haste, I'm never in a hurry." Beast replied
"Ooh! John Wesley!" Neaera spoke.
"Ah! Glad to see someone knows what I'm saying. Well, the files shall be-" A bolt of lightning stuck the computer, exploding it.
"My apologies, Beast," Storm spoke, summoning rain over the pile of fire & extinguishing it "by we have no time for poetry." She pressed the X-button over her left breast. "Storm to Cyclops: Mission accomplished!"
"Ooh! Where can I get an X button!?" Neaeara asked. "I wanna have it on my left thigh, so I can slap it to-"
"Enough talk!" Wolverine snapped "Move!!!"
"Sheesh... quite the grumpy pants, am I right?" The group ran to the entrance. Storm threw a lightning bolt, exploding the door, letting everyone out. Chaos was outside; Cyclops, Rogue, and Gambit fended off near-military looking guards.
"Halt!" A guard above yelled "Put your hands up!"
"How 'bout two!?" Neaera flipped him off with both birds before running away, laughing hysterically. Cyclops blasted the guard tower down, but Rogue caught the guard.
"Come to momma." She said.
"Put me down, you mutant freak!" the guard yelled
"Whatever you say, sugah."
I wouldn't mind her holding us.
I would prefer the flight.
Gambit exploded the fence, allowing them all to escape, though, in hindsight, Neaera & Beast coud've easily leap over the wall holding either Wolverine and Morph... but it's the thought that counted.
"Come on! Move it!" Wolverine yelled "We're missing Dinner."
"Dinner!?" Neaera asked. She ran faster and pushed her way through "TACO TUESDAY!!!"
"Didn't I tell ya!?" Morph asked "Smooth Sailing from here!" When the reached the edge of the forest, a Sentinel came crashing through.
"Look out! An Ironic twist to what you just said!!!"
"Hey! Tin Woodsman!" Wolverine shouted, getting the attention of the sentinel "I'm sending you back to Oz, in pieces!!!" Unfortunately, more Sentinels came out of the forest. A sentinel, in Wolverine's left blind spot, fired a laser.
"Wolverine! Move!!!" Morph yelled, pushing Wolverine out of the way. The laser... it hit morph. "GYAHHH!!!" Neaera paused and saw Morph fall to the floor... he wasn't movine... nor breathing.
"... Oh... my-"
"GAH!!!" Beast yelled. Neaera shook herself, seeing Beast fly backwards AND hitting the electric fence. He was shocked, followed by him, falling to the floor, luckily, unconscious.
"Beast!!!" Cyclops yelled
"I'll get him!" Rogue announced, flying to the sky... only to be shot down by a laser.
"It's adamantium tasting time, boys!!!" Wolverine yelled, charging ahead. He was, unfortunately, picked up by a rope and swung around. Neaera slapped herself in the face.
"Come on! You can do this!" She yelled to herself, turning to the group of sentinels. She pulled her shortswords out, turning them into their semi-auto forms, and fired at the robots! Cyclops and Gambit helped; Cyclops fired more optic blasts at the robots and Gambit threw his exploding cards. Unfortunately, as they destroyed a robot, more came down, outnumbering them.
The f**k!?!?!? We did so well in the simulation!
That was a simulation, idiot! And that was one, albeit, advanced sentinel, not multiple!
"Retreat!" Cyclops ordered "Get to the blackbird!!!" Neaera ran to the group, avoiding the lasers fired at her, and firing back at the oncoming swarm of sentinels.
"Eat shit, Cyclops!" Wolverine retorted "X-Men don't cut and run! I'm going back for Beast and Morph!"
"Uh... I think beast, but Morph-" Neaera said
"We can't help them!" Cyclops interrupted
"You can't, dickhead!" Wolverine growled "But I can!"
"I won't let you throw your life away! Come back here!!!" Wolverine stormed back to the battleground.
"I go, where I wanna go."
"Sorry, not this time, sugah." Rogue said, taking her right glove off. She touched Wolverine's exposed arm with her open hand; he froze and gasped. His veins seemed to pop out and he fell to his knees.
"Morph... Beast... Don't... leave them..." he fell, unconscious. Rogue took her hand off and put her glove back on. Neaera carried Wolverine onto the Blackbird and they retreated.
The ride home was silent. Neaera, though wanting to cheer the mood up, couldn't think of anything that'd be appropriate for the matter. All she could do was hold her mask in place, looking at it, and contemplated to herself.
"...Is this what a hero is like?" she asked. Rogue sate next to her.
"What was that?" she asked.
"Morph... I didn't know him, but he sacrificed himself to save Wolverine... and Beast... we just left him behind. I... I should've done something." Rogue gently smiled and caressed her mane. Neaera froze, but allowed the touch to go on.
"It's not your fault, sugah. You did all you could; ya'll are still new here, afterall."
"...Thanks, Rogue." They looked outside, seeing Wolverine delivering a hard punch into Cyclops' gut. The two looked like they were ready to fight each other, indicated by Wolverine's claws coming out and Cyclops' optic glasses charging up. Jean Grey, luckily, came and stopped the two. Wolverine marched right out. "Where's he going?"
"Don't know. He's probably going to use the jeep and drive off again. He's a member of the team, but he's still more or less a one man wolf pack."
"Hm... I'll be right back." Neaera got up, exited the blackbird, and followed Wolverine.
Neaera watched Wolverine get behind the wheel of a jeep, but turned to the vehicle next to him. He scooted out to the other car. Neaera jumped into the back of the jeep and hid herself, hearing what was happening.
"GAAH!!! FUCKING COWARDS!!!" Wolverine growled, followed by the car being sliced. "THEY'RE ALL COWARDS!!!"
"Wolverine!" Jean Grey yelled. Wolverine got back to the jeep.
"Tell Cyclops that I made him a convertible." He started the engine
"What happened isn't his fault." He drove off. "It's not yours, either."
After a while of driving, the Jeep stopped and was parked. Neaera peeked out, seeing Wolverine looking over a cliff into a beautiful scene of nature.
"I'll avenge you, my friend." Wolverine spoke, sticking his claws out. "I swear it."
"And you won't be alone!" Neaera quipped. He jumped and turned to her.
"You've been here!?"
"Nope! In the jeep!"
"...Figures. What are you doing here? Here to annoy me with your lazy as hell jokes?"
"I would, but this isn't the appropriate time." This got Wolverine to pause.
"Wait... you're not gonna make a joke?"
"No. Not now... later, but I wanna help you ease off a bit."
"Like you can help with that." Neaera pulled out some cash.
"I got twenty bucks."
"...Fine... just stay low... I need a beer."
Both Neaera and Logan were in their regular clothing at a local bar and played pool together. The two actually got along pretty well; Neaera lerned that Morph had quite the history with the team, something that shutted her voices from calling calling him 'weak' and 'useless'.
And I had more!
I just thought he was weird, but, that's me.
Neaera really got more disturbing look by the only two men in there, though the bartender was busy in the back. Wolverine, despite being calmed down, got angered by the TV report, talking how the sentinel's 'saved' the night and it's people from 'mutant terrorists'.
"Can someone shut that crap up?" Logan growled.
"Easy, buddy," Neaera spoke "just focus on the game."
"...Yeah... my shot." The other two men, one looking like a trucker while the other more of a hippie.
"Come on, why don;t you get on, furries." The hippie one spoke. "This here's our table."
"Ahem, I'm not a furry," Neaera spoke "I am an anthro. There is a difference. Also, there's plenty of other tables you can use. Just use one and let my friend and I go on with out day. Take your shot, Logan." Logan took a shot, but the hippie one stopped the ball again.
"I don't think ya heard me right."
"Oh, I did!" Logan growled, his claws coming out.
"The Fuzzball's a mutant!" The Trucker yelled. The Bartender came out with a baseball bat.
" Get outta here!" He ordered "We don't want ya around here!"
"Yeah!" The Hippie added "Why don't you both go back to the freak show!"
"I go where I wanna go." Logan growled again.
"Logan." Neaera spoke "Remember? Woosah..."
"Wolverine! Lunacy!" Cyclops spoke, also in regular clothes "I need to talk to you two."
"Woosah, Logan, Woosah."
"But out, four eyes!!!" The hippie yelled, holding his cue stick like a weapon.
"You wouldn't hit a man with glasses, would you?" Cyclops asked
"Well then, take 'em off!" He ripped the glasses off.
"No!" He fired his optic blasts uncontrollably.
"And, we're outta here!!!" Neaera yelled, snatching the glasses, Wolverine, and Cyclops out. She placed the glasses on Cyclop's face.
"Ahh... thanks. Wolverine-?"
"If you're here to apologize for what happened, save your breath." Wolverine interrupted.
"I don't apologize for command decisions. But... how would you like to locate the Sentinels' home base?" This got his attention.
"...When and where?"
The three were at Jubilee's house, though Wolverine hid behind the house in costume as Cyclops and Neaera were inside with Jubilee's foster parents. The parents were quite surprised at Neaera's appearance, but her attitude more than made it up for her looks. The father came back after making a phone call and getting them soda.
"Ooh!" Neaera said, accepting a cup. "Thank you, good sir." She sipped. "Mm... root beer."
"We're not quite sure," the mother spoke "but... we think Jubilee's been... kidnapped by those things... those... sentinels!"
"Why would anyone do something like that?" The dad asked
"Because people fear what they don't understand." Cyclops answered
"Like puberty!" Neaera blurted. This got both parents to stare awkwardly. "...What? You know it's true."
"L-Look," the father spoke "you have to get outta here, now! They said we should call them if anyone came asking about Jubilee."
"Ooh! It's the pronoun game! Who's 'They'?"
"The Mutant registration program." The mother replied.
"You've done nothing wrong," Cyclops spoke, putting a hand on the father's shoulder. "You just wanna help her, and you've had."
"R-really?" He asked
"Us." Neaera answered, finishing her cup. "Mm... can I get some more to go?"
"We're out." The mother replied.
"...dang it." She got up and followed Cyclops out of the door. A sentinel landed nearby, in front of the house.
"Surrender, Mutant!" It ordered.
"Of course," Cyclops replied, 'surrendering'. "NOT!!!" He fired his optic blast at the sentinel's left arm, making it fall off.
"Oh! He just pulled the 'Not' Line!" Neaera yelled, running away "The line every second grader used when they had nothing clever to say! Snap, Cyclops, snap!!!"
"...What?"
"Sentinel 14 damaged by unknown Mutant." The sentinel spoke "Returning to base for repairs." The sentinel flew off. The three ran to the Blackbird, switching to their costumes.
"I have the Sentinel on radar." Storm spoke through their intercoms.
"Let's go get them!" Cyclops ordered
"This chicken's going home to roost!" Rogue spoke as they entered the Blackbird & the doors closed behind them.
They landed in Detroit. Neaera, looked around, paranoid.
"What's wrong?" Rogue asked
"We're in Detroit, that's what!" Neaera replied.
"...Oh... can't argue with that."
"Come on!" Wolverine yelled, running into the warehouse the Sentinel landed in. "The party's just started."
"... Andrew W. K., please?" Neaera asked.
But of course.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4A1SiQkPqYM
Rogue ran and broke the wall. Everyone ran in; Cyclops blasted the Sentinels, Gambit threw his cards, Storm with lightning, and Neaera fired ahead, blasting the Sentinels with her twin weapons. Wolverine and Rogue got physical with their own Sentinel; Rogue delivered heavy crosses across the faces of each Sentinel, and Wolverine clawed at their backs, roaring in anger! Neaera found and ran to Jubileee, pulling Gibson out and stopped a sentinel from squishing her. With all her muscles, Neaera pushed the Sentinel off, slicing it's foot off, then the other. She pulled her other swords out and rapidly sliced the falling Sentinel into harmless junk. She quiclkly pulled Gibson out and delivered devastating headshots to the Sentinels.
"We could use the help." Neaera spoke.
"Got it!" Jubilee spoke, firing more of her fireworks at the Sentinel. The group got together again as more Sentinels gathered around them.
"Leave no sentinel unharmed." Cyclops spoke.
"That, I can work with." Wolverine replied with a smile.
"Let's go, X-Men!!!" Neaera yelled, charging and slicing at the sentinels!
Eventually, the last sentinel fell. Everyone stood around, sweating, breathing hard, but pumped with adrenaline.
"That all of them?" Cyclops asked.
"Ain't that enough?" Rogue asked.
"I hope there's more!" Neaera replied, sheathing her weapons. "Or, at least, find their creators."
"That won't be for a while." Storm said. "But for now, we should head back."
"Oh yeah! We gotta get outta here! The gang bangers are coming!" Various gun shots were heard outside. "RUN!!!"
Moring had arrived to Xavier's school, and Neaera, though tired, stayed awake as Xavier looked at her reports.
"Hm... you did well last night, Neaera." He spoke. "And I am quite surprised at your other actions."
"...Other actions, sir?" she asked.
"Yes... unlike your father, you didn't make jokes when everything went wrong. You stayed respectful, and you want everyone to get along, more specifically, with Logan."
"...Is that good?"
"Oh, it's more than good. And, I think you may like this." He strolled to his desk and opened a drawer. He pulled out an X-Button. Neaera gasped. Xavier smiled at her response. "Welcome to the X-Men, Neaera."
"YES!!!" She snagged the button off and jumped around. "YESYESYESYESYESYESYES!!!"
"But, you'll also be a teacher here as well." She paused.
"...Teacher!?"
"Well... more like master & apprentice."
"Oh... who's my apprentice?" The door opend and Jubilee entered.
"Excuse me," she spoke "I'm looking for Neaera."
"... YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!"
Extra: Bedtimes
Little Neaera laid in bed, resting with a plushie of her own father, trying to go to bed. As much as she tried to sleep, she swore she could hear something in her closet. She got up and crept to the closet.
"... Hello?" She asked
"... I'm never coming out." A muffled voice replied. She screamed and ran downstairs to see her parents talking to each other. "He's there! He's there!"
"Ugh... who's there?" Deadpool asked.
"The bad man that lives in my closet."
"Eh, get on outta here that 'scared of the dark' crap! Go on, now, git!"
"Sensitive." Luna glared. Deadpool took a deep sigh and walked over to his daughter, murmuring to himself.
"Sensitive... sensitive..." He leaned down to her height. "You know what you're having? It's called a 'nightmare'. You know what a nightmare is?" Neaera nodded. "Well, that's all this is. Now why don't you run on back to bed so that man can CHOP your little head off!" He swung one his katanas, making Neaera gasp and run away. Luna looked appaled. Deadpool gave an ok sign. "Sensitive!"
"... You call that being 'sensitive'!?" Luna demanded "Let me give you a history of Applejack; both of her parents are gone!"
"Dead, away, or are stranded on a deserted island. I've read the forums and fan theories as to why they haven't been around."
"Well then, you should know that the last thing she needs now is a sadistic father figure scaring the life out of her!"
"Maybe what she needs is for you to pop your nipple outta her mouth, and the gal grow up." Liuna blinked and shook her head.
"Excuse me? What did you just say?"
"I didn't stutter. I said 'Pop your nipple out her mouth, and stop babying her'!"
"I don't call it babying, I call it nurturing."
"And I call it neutering."
And I call you an insecure, overbearing, PSYCHOPATHIC, DICTATORIAL,EGOMANIACAL, FRIGGED LUNATIC, A**HOLE!!!
"... I'm Frigged?" Neaera came into the doorframe.
"He's still there!" She screamed.
"You wanna see nurturing?" Deadpool asked in a very intimidating tone. He turned and followed Neaera, who ran upstairs. She stopped and pointed to her room, where Wade followed and entered her room, stopping at her closet. "Is he in there!?" Neaera nodded. Wade turned to the closet, pulled a desert eagle out, and shot in the closet.
BLAM!!! BLAM!!! BLAM!!! BLAM!!! BLAM!!!
The closet had multiple holes in it now, and many of the castle's subjects jumped and either froze in place, or ran around, screaming in fear.
"If he's still in there," Wade spoke, holstering his gun. "He ain't happy." The closet door opened and out fell the bleeding body of Tom Cruise. "... Oh s**t."
"WILSON!!!" Luna yelled, running upstairs. "What was that!?" Neara ran out with a smile across her face.
"Daddy just terminated that gay man with extreme prejudice!" She exclaimed, followed by Deadpool walking and dragging the body out. "And it was Tom cruise the whole time!" Deadpool leaned down to her.
"Now you go on back to bed, y'hear? That bad man ain't gonna put Scientology in your head anymore." Neaera smiled.
"Thanks, daddy." She wrapped her arms around him and hugged him. "I love you." Deadpool froze from the hug. The last time head had received a warm hug like that was from the Hulk, who crushed him in his bare arms and broke all his bones & organs. That's when Deadpool pulled Neaera into a half nelson.
"What choo playin' at, girl!?"
"N-nothing, daddy!"
"You better tell me the truth, or else I'm gonna have to break your arms and use them for my own-"
WHACK!
Deadpool fell to the floor, unconcious. Luna had just used a frying pan to knock out her husband. She nuzzled her own daughter.
"I'm sorry, but your father's not used to positive reinforcements just yet." She simply spoke. "Now go on back to bed, seems I have to put your father back in bed, and clean his mess... again." she sighed as she used her magic to pick up Wade and the corpse.
Author's Notes:
Might do a couple of extras along the way. Aplogies for not uploading a whole lot. Kinda hard to work without transcripts.