Where I?

Who I?

What I?

Night? No. Darkness? No. Nightmare...?

Oh. Why so cold?

I stood, stretching hoovies and wingies widely without making ouchie. Cramped. I move in… ever?

Wet. Cold. So wet. Shiver Brrr, Brrr! Find warmth, only darkness. Dark. Darker—Darkest. Nothing good, nothing happy. Cold, wet, scary!

Don’t want to hug dark. Dark is scary! Dark is very, very scary! I no like dark!

Trembling. “So wery scwary.” I paused. “Twesting, twesting.” I stick tongue out and move jaw. Why I sound weird?

I sit on hunchies. “Mwaybe I hwit hwead?” I get angry. A cough, hack, and clear throat. Throat starts to get ouchy, so I stop.

“Twes… Twe…” clear throat one more time.

I thought of words.

More and more words remembered.

More words meant more language.

More language meant more variety.

More variety meant a higher sense of cognition!

Yeah, words are flowing back into my mind, filling me with knowledge, ideas, experience! A smile creeps on my lips. “O-Okay. Think I have talking… down.”

I don’t know why, but I feel proud of myself. It was only then that I wrapped my hoovies—I mean, hooves—around my body in self-congratulatory celebration. Still feeling cold, though. Words can't fix that.

I looked skywards. That’s when my eyes got a hit with the torrents of water falling down. Is water dripping from the sky? Are there sad ponies up there crying? No, that’s not it. It has a name, what was it again? R-ruin? Rean? Rain? Yeah, Rain! That’s what’s falling from the sky: “Rain!” I said as loudly as my voice could manage with my throat still feeling sore. “Raiwww—” I backed away and looked down, spitting out a mouthful of water. Okay. Not a good idea to open my mouth and look up when skywa—I mean, rain—is falling.

“All right. Rain makes things wet, and being wet means being cold; that much I know now. Being cold is bad, of course. So, to not be cold anymore, I need to get out of the rain.” I started looking around. “But how do I get out of this rain? There is nothing out here but darkness. If only there was a way to have light…” I looked down at my hooves. They were sinking into the mud. The only thing stopping my body from being outright swallowed by the muck were the countless small rocks that formed a somewhat stable base.

Wait a second. I looked down at my hooves again. But of course!

I ducked on all fours and started digging through the mud to get to the rocks. If I smash them together, I’ll create sparks. Sparks mean fire, and fire means light and heat!

My hooves finally broke through the muck and found a nice group of healthy-looking rocks. I reached down and grabbed as many as my hooves could scoop up and placed them beside me. When I was happy with my haul, I turned my full attention to the stones.

With one hoof, I brought up the largest stone that I could carry without it feeling uncomfortable. Sadly, because of my size, that meant something that would not have been larger than a pebble. With my other hoof, I picked up the roughest stone from the bunch. I took a deep breath of air and started smashing the two pieces of earth together, making sure that each hit also carried with it a scraping motion.

One hit. Two hints. Three hits! Ten hits, TWENTY HITS!

I continued smashing the rocks together as fast and as hard as my hooves could manage, yet, with each hit, the rocks started to crumble more and more. And still, not a single spark. I tossed the defective stones aside and picked two new ones. I again got to hitting the rocks as fast and as hard as possible, and the stones again fell apart before they had produced sparks. I grabbed yet another two rocks and continued my attempts, only for the same thing to happen again.

And again, and again…

“Why won’t you give me sparks!” I yelled to the heavens. “When I smack you together, you are supposed to go ‘boom’ and give me fire!” I smash the two rocks in my hooves together as fiercely as I could manage one final time. They shattered from the force, yet refused to give me what I wanted.

I felt rage course through my veins, like something very hot and very bright. I shut my eyes so tight that I could see colors. My body trembled, and a ringing began to start in my ears. There was a heat that enveloped me. The numbing cold disappeared as the light filtering through my shut eyelids grew in intensity.

Wait a second. Light? Heat? Wha—

I shot open my eyes and was met with a sight that left me with a slacked jaw. Surrounding my being was a bubble of what I could only describe as fire air.

Fire air? What am I, a foal? It’s got a name! Uh… ou-iu-ai-eo-aura. Aura! Yeah, that!

The aura emanated a gentle heat that not only dried my body but also acted as a shield, preventing more rain. It was bright too, letting me see more than half a meter away from my body. That was the first time I got to see just where I really was.

So I was in what looked like a small clearing in the middle of a very heavy forest. The twisting and thick trees were so close together that they formed a wall of green and brown. In the dark, I could see a few glowing eyes directed at me. Probably small animals curious as to the sudden glow in the clearing.

Wait. Are small animal eyes supposed to glow green?

It took me a second to notice it, but the light’s source was not the bubble, but me. I traced the glow to a spot just above my forehead. Going cross eyed, I spotted the appendage that was emanating the light. I ran a hoof over the cone-like thing. It couldn’t be anything else other than a unicorn horn.

But I have wings already. Either I’m a pegasus, or I am a unicorn. No way I can be both.

This was quite the puzzle. Something in the back of my mind told me that being both a unicorn and pegasus was not ‘normal’. In fact, it might have been as far away from ‘normal’ as possible. Then again, what was normal other than what was known and understood? Or, was it something else altogether?

I shrugged to myself.

So I was some kind of… pega-corn? Great. Did that mean I could do something no pony else could do, or was I some kind of freak? If I am a freak, does that mean that I’m supposed to do something no one wants me to do? Am I am going to end up having to hide my wings and horn just to fit in?

Maybe. Something in the back of my mind told me the world wasn’t exactly all strawberries and lollipops—though it certainly would be cool if it was. Whatever the case really, the first thing I had to do was move. I couldn’t just keep standing in the middle of a storm.

I mean, I guess I could, but would be pretty stupid. What kind of idiot chooses to stay outside in the middle of a rainstorm when they can get somewhere dry? Sure, the bubble of—whatever it was—was holding nice and strong. But I had a feeling it would not stay up for too long, and it being my only source of light…

Well, better not tempt fate. I really don’t like the idea of being stuck in the dark again.

“All right,” I said out loud to no one in particular, “let's go that way!” I pointed forward at a random direction. I kept a wide grin on my lips but knew pretty well that I had no real destination. I figured that if I kept on walking, I would have to run into someone eventually.

I took my first real step forward—

—Only to end up wobbling and falling flat on my face, right into the mud. Unfortunately, I had my mouth open as well because of the grin. I ended up taking a huge bite out of the muck.

I raised my head and spat out the liquefied dirt. I even wiped my tongue for good measure. “Ywuck! Dwirt twastes awwful!” I stood up and tried to take another step forward. This time, I managed to stop myself from hitting the dirt face first.

I looked down at my four limbs and frowned. “Stupid hooves!” I half-shouted. “Why are you being so useless?!” I stood up again, this time managing to keep my limbs from flailing like noodles. Confident, I took another step forward. The forehoof made contact with the soil without issue.

Off to a good start.

The next hoof, the hind one, moved into position as well. It wobbled a bit, but it ultimately made contact with the ground as well.

Starting to move now!

Confident that the worst was past me now, I pushed forward with my hind leg, readying my other forehoof to receive my weight. Before I even had the chance to plant the limb into the ground, the forehoof I already had placed into the dirt started to teeter. Two and a half seconds later, it gave out and slipped at an angle that left the muscle feeling sore. I hit the wet dirt again. This time, though, I'd just enough time to close my mouth to prevent swallowing another mouthful of muck.

I sighed and started to stand up again, pushing back the tears forming in the corners of my eyes. “I’m going to be here a while, aren’t I?”

I did not wait for anything to give me a reply. I stood back up again and tried moving my legs in rhythm.

I forgot to keep my mouth shut as I fell into the mud yet again.

It’s going to be a loooong night…

Yes, this has been a long night. Too long.

I landed at the edge of the Everfree forest, right beside a number of yellow and purple colored tents my loyal, if a tad overzealous, guards had erected.

As soon as my hooves touched the ground, I allowed myself an exhale. Tossing ‘proper’ royal etiquette aside, I sat on my haunches. I couldn’t see it because of the thick cloud cover, but the moon was probably near the horizon by now. Six hours, and still no sign of that blasted star. Had I not been as powerful as I was, I would have probably dropped dead from the exhaustion.

I grimaced. I swear when I find that cursed thing… I allowed my head to hang, giving my neck muscles some much-needed rest.

How was it possible that I was still empty hooved? I could understand if my guards had found nothing. They were mortal, after all. What excuse did I have?

I have my limits as well, the voice of a small pony rang in the back of my mind. For starters, I haven’t done anything like this in centuries. Secondly, I am not as powerful as I once was.

I blinked and ignored the thoughts. I was starting to strongly consider the idea of having myself looked over by a therapist. Hearing voices didn’t bode well in regards to sanity. A part of me also feared the possibility—however slight—that I was suffering from something far worse.

I shook my head and scoffed. “Corruption,” I whispered to myself. Not so distant memories of the Rainbow of Harmony’s unpleasant warmth started filling my mind. “Corruption…”

I looked up to the still cloudy skies to take my mind off the troubled feelings now swarming my psyche. At least it had stopped raining. I was glad for that. The added weight of the water made flying difficult. I really had to give it to the Wonderbolts for being able to take wing as fast as they could even in the worst possible weather conditions.

One of my royal guards, an older unicorn stallion garbed in gold and purple armor stepped forward the instant he saw me.

I quickly stood back up and straightened myself. No room for weakness, I sternly told myself. Be the pillar they all expect you to be.

“Your highness,” the captain said, saluting and staying in attention. “Welcome back. We weren’t expecting you for another hour.” His eyes focused on me more intently. “Is everything alright?”

I’m tired, I’m hungry, and I’m wet. Nothing’s all right! I put on a warm smile gave the captain a nod. “Mr. Ingot,” I started, keeping my tone as soft yet assertive as I could make it. “What’s the current situation here?”

The captain tensed, his muscles rippling under his coat in reply to my question. “We are now six hours into combing the Everfree looking for the target.” His stance tensed some more. “Unfortunately, reports from all divisions, including the Wonderbolts, are the same.” He allowed himself a hard gulp, a few beads of sweat already forming on his brow. “I’m sorry, your highness, we just haven’t been able to find anything.”

For a moment, I felt anger rising in me. I strongly considered clearing the skies and forcing the sun to rise earlier than it should, so it would banish the bothersome dark. I hated the dark; loathed it. If I had a choice, I would make sure it never again bothered anyone.

I felt a great pang of guilt at my own thoughts. No. I am not like that. Those thoughts were the kind that had led to ruin and endless strife. Not again. Never again. I will not fall to such base desires.

Yet I still stabbed him through the heart with the intent to kill. He’s only alive because he’s immortal. I inwardly winced at the little voice in my head. It was right. Passion had driven me to do something that, while I didn’t completely regret, still had left a very bad taste in my mouth. I was supposed to be better than that. I should be better than that.

I blinked a few times, got my thoughts back on track, and gazed directly into to the captain's eyes. “Double your efforts and expand the search beyond the Everfree. I want pegasi flying from the Ghastly Gorge all the way to Appleloosa and Dodge City if necessary.” I turned my eyes back to the forest. “I’ll double my own efforts for as long as my energy holds out.” I narrowed my eyes. “I’ll fly all the way to the frozen north if I have to!”

The captain’s eyes widened. “M’lady, you do not need to do anything!” He placed a hoof on his chest and stood tall and proud. “Leave it to us. It’s what we have been trained for all our lives!”

I stomped a hoof and set a glare on the stallion. “No.” The captain’s posture instantly deflated, unable to stop himself from flinching. “I am not going to sit idly by while the greatest threat to Equestria continues to be free.” I locked eyes with the captain. “Am I not the leader of this nation? Am I not responsible for the safety of every single one of my subjects?”

Captain Ingot blinked a few times, almost as if unsure of just how to answer my question. I understood that I was putting him in a bad situation, but my annoyance was just too great to keep contained.

And I felt like scum for taking it out on him.

I sighed and gave myself pause before I could let my thoughts get any further. The soreness of the day was starting to catch up to me like a creeping numbness that made every step and every spell a struggle. I could only dread the stiffness that was to come in the next few days. The worst part was that no one could know about it. No one could know of the weakness of their princess.

The captain winced, almost instinctively flexing his foreleg in a salute. “O-of course!” He took a very hard gulp, trembling as he kept his eyes on me. “I-I apologize, your highness.”

Before I could raise a hoof to ease my captain’s wariness, he took a step back and turned to the camp. “Alright, maggots, listen up! Time to double our efforts. I want no stone left unturned and no area left unchecked. Double time everything. NOW!”

At the captain’s words, every guard present stood back up, strapped their armors back on and left whatever they were doing, put out most of the fires going, picked up their spears and shields, and got back to searching. The captain turned back to me with a salute and followed right behind his troops, leaving the camp a virtual ghost town of half-eaten meals and dying embers. Only a few guards remained, those assigned to guarding the camp, as well as those assigned to the medical tents.

I sighed, unable to bring myself to say anything. I should have been proud of the speed and efficiency with which my guard took to their tasks, but a part of me couldn’t help but feel sad for those that had gotten pushed back into work despite being as tired as I was. The one way I could make it up to them was to take flight myself and work twice as hard.

I levitated the nearest canteen of water from the supply table, double checking to make sure it wasn’t owned and was full. As soon as I popped the lid and brought the bottle to my lips, the sweet smell of chocolate hit my nostrils.

I groaned. “Discord, I know you’re here. Come out before I force you to come out!”

“Boo! You’re no fun,” a voice purred, ringing from seemingly everywhere at once.

“Stop playing around,” I replied, switching the canteen for the next one within reach. “I’ve had a very long night, and I’m in no mood to humor you.”

“But I’m a trickster god. Playing is my expertise!” There was a flash of yellow, followed by the sound of something popping, almost like a faint crack of lightning. It only took seconds, but Discord now stood before me, a smug expression on his face. Though, ‘stood’ was not quite right, for he was hovering inches above the ground, his legs crossed and his tail dangling limply.

I snorted and took a swig of real water. A sigh of satisfaction later, I turned back to him. “What are you doing out here anyway? Shouldn’t you be with Fluttershy or bugging Twilight?”

Discord grinned. “Oh, sweet Fluttershy’s sleeping right now. Poor thing came back exhausted from today’s little excursion. And Twilight’s too busy with her search spell to be vulnerable to my antics.” His expression darkened. “I honestly can’t believe you did what you did, though.” He allowed himself to stand as he spread his arms wide. “ ‘Princess Celestia, lying!’”

My ears dropped as I Instinctively turned around to see if any of the guards had heard the accusation. Thankfully, there were none within earshot. I had to remind myself that my guard wouldn’t take Discord’s word seriously anyway. I should not have to worry. Still, I understood well that I demonstrated guilt just by my act of checking.

“Did Lulu tell you that?” I asked, keeping my expression neutral. A part of me knew that was futile in the face of Discord, but I lost nothing by trying.

Discord shook his head. “She didn’t need to. I saw it with my own two eyes. Besides, she’s been too busy keeping an eye on that Grogar fellow to really speak to anyone.” He snorted. “Hard to believe that little changeling is the fearsome Grogar from legend.”

I was half tempted to ask Discord just how much he knew about the so called “necromancer supreme”, but it was his first statement that caught me most off-guard. “You were there?” I asked, unsure as to why I was even surprised. Discord was a master of being where he shouldn't be when he should be. “Where were you?”

Discord crossed his arms, grin still plastered on his lips. “Now, now. I’m not an open book. I have to keep my own secrets if I ever hope to have ponies’ respect.”

I raised an eyebrow. “You were alongside Fluttershy invisibly, weren’t you?”

Discord’s lips lowered ever so slightly.

My own lips, in reply, started rising. “You really do love her, don’t you?”

Discord coughed and cleared his throat. “A-at any rate, I was there when you lied about the injury.” His eyes narrowed. “Everyone else may be blind to the signs of a real injured princess, but I am not.”

Of course, you would know about injured princesses.

That thought made me realize how different things were today. Thirteen years ago, I would have certainly had no qualms with Discord vanishing, especially after all the Tartarus he put Equestria through. The fact we were speaking now as amiably as we are is almost a miracle in onto itself. And it was all thanks for Fluttershy. She did what no one else in the history of Equestria had. The element of Kindness indeed.

“More importantly,” Discord continued, his words snapping me out of my thoughts, “I’m actually more curious why your body reacted like it did to the Rainbow of Harmony.”

I couldn’t stop my body from instinctively taking a half-step backward. Regardless, I kept my face in as neutral a position as possible, eyes fixed on Discord’s own. “Are you here just to accost me, or did you have something to say?” I corrected my body’s mistake by taking a step forward, closing the distance enough that I was face to face with the spirit of chaos. “Because if you do, I’m right here. Say it straight to my face,” I narrowed my eyes at my words.

Discord signed and placed his clawed hand over my snout, pushing me back effortlessly. “Personal space, Celestia,” he said, grin returning to his lips. “Now, if you really want to know what I think of you. Well, I don’t think I have to say anything at all!” He laughed. I intensified my glare in reply.

“In all seriousness,” he started, his amused tone vanishing so quickly that it startled me, “you’ve changed quite a bit over the years. If I had to start somewhere, I would say you’re not nearly as fun—or willing to have fun—as you used to be.”

“Explain,” I said, my tone bordering between curiosity and indignation.

“Well,” Discord started, once again taking to hovering in place. “There was the time you got invited to tea in Fillydelphia about a year ago. Whole town tossed you quite a party, only for you to keep this scrunched face the whole time. Didn’t even bother to liven up the mood.” He snickered under his breath. “Oh, and there was the time Cheese Sandwich did that roast of you! You banned him from setting hoof in Canterlot for a whole year!”

I kept my glare set on Discord. “Is that it?”

Discord snorted. “Oh no, that’s just off the top of my head!” He snapped his fingers, at which point a scroll materialized in a flash of light. The scroll unrolled, traveling down the length of the floor and over to a nearby guard, at which point it traveled up his body and down his flank, where it continued until it vanished from sight.

Of course, you have a scroll. Why wouldn’t you have a scroll?

He cleared his throat and took a deep breath of air in preparation, but before he could get a word out, I spread my wings and took flight.

“Hey, where are you going?" Discord snapped.

I groaned, rolled my eyes, and turned back to face him. “I really don’t have time for your nonsense right now. There is a very real threat to this nation out there, and I am going to do everything in my power to find it."

"You really should take it easy for a bit." Discord said, the scroll in his claws vanishing in a puff of smoke. “You’ve been flying for six hours straight. Even you have limits.”

I narrowed my eyes. "Some of us can't afford to take things easy!” I snapped, not bothering to keep my rising rage in check. “Some of us have to be strong when no one else can!”

Discord snorted. “Same old rhetoric.” He laughed and grinned. “You know, you’re not really proving anything by doing all of this. You’re just wearing yourself out.”

I held my head up high. “A princess must lead by example.”

Discord crossed his arms and laughed. “Keep telling yourself that. See what good it does you.”

I glared daggers at Discord. I have enough power to send him somewhere very far and very unpleasant right now. Why not use it?

I shook away the thoughts. “If you excuse me, I have a search to continue and a sun to raise.” Without another word, I beat my wings as hard as I could, sending me dashing towards the horizon at speeds that would have made Rainbow Dash take a second glance. It was less to prevent further annoyance from Discord, and more to keep myself distracted from the thoughts now buzzing in my head.

No more distractions. I’ve already wasted enough time entertaining that fool. I must find that star before it’s too late. The clock is ticking Celestia. The clock. Is. Ticking...

Author's Notes:

Howdy Folk, Garnot here. I have a bit of bad news for fans of this story. Unfortunately, the next batch of chapters isn't quite as far along as I would have liked. On top of reworking the previous chapters for quality purposes, writing has sort of slowed down majorly. Most of the blame lies with my work hours as of late, but other smaller issues related to the writing process itself have come up.

Until those issues can be fixed, I'm afraid I have to put this story on a longer hold that I would like. The good news is that said hold shouldn't last too long. In the meantime, I will go ahead and give you guys this chapter. The rest will be posted one they are complete, and only once they are all done. So expect something once per week once my schedule is back on track.

So until then, enjoy this tale. As always, thank you very much for reading, and until next time, farewell.