I didn't think things could get any better when a full on vision of beauty descended in front of me.

He had light grey wings and feathers with a gorgeous crest that lead down to muscular, panther like loins. He was tall, but not too tall like some eagle griffons. He was in shape, but not with the overly bulky muscles of a lifter, no he was lithe and athletic. Made for stamina...

I think I was drooling a little.

He said something. I was so busy staring at him it barely registered. "Wha?" I asked.

"I said what the heck happened to you!" He snapped.

I was shaken from my reverie. "Huh?"

The cock looked shaken (I mean a male griffon, get your mind out of the gutter). "You're practically skeletal and all those lumps under your fur... Are you okay?"

I narrowed my eyes. He was becoming less attractive by the second. "Hey pal, I don't go around criticizing your looks." Not that there was anything to criticize... I gripped my guitar with a huff. "Besides, it's from the pox obviously, so y'all can shove it."

His pupils shrank. He stepped back. "You... You have Grover's Pox? That is really serious, it's not good for you to be on the street."

Okay, now I was getting mad. "I had Grover's Pox thanks very much. The lumps are my scars, thanks so much for pointing out how hideous I look. With all these ponies around, I didn't have some stuck up rich eagle to tell me how much I sucked. Now are you going to buy a song or not?"

His feathers fluffed up. "What? I'm not some racist, I'm just worried about you! And I'm not rich..."

I rolled my eyes. I knew his type. Rich son of a wealthy eagle family wandering about in a foreign country for the sake of an adventure. He probably had some cushy weather job and a green card while I was sitting... Well if not in the gutter, then directly next to it.

Still... he was hot. A smirk crawled up my lips. "Okay, okay...You know, if you're really worried about me I could give you a tour of my apartment. It's a studio, so it will mostly just be the bedroom. Perfect if you want to 'examine' me a little more..." I gave him my best 'come hither' look.

He blushed... "I... I have a fiance."

My expression fell.

"Besides," he continued, recovering startlingly fast, "You're right about one thing, some medical attention would almost certainly be helpful. Why don't you let me walk you to the hospital? I'm sure we can get you checked out."

Okay, that was out of the question. Hospitals always asked for your paperwork. Besides the local one and I had issues.

I raised an eyebrow. "So... I'm supposed to go follow a complete stranger presuming he has good intentions? Don't they put on plays about this in kindergarten?"

He threw up his talons. "You just invited me to your bedroom three seconds ago!"

I snorted angrily. "That was when I thought you were hot, but it turns out you're just an a-hole. Now if you don't mind I'm trying to work here." I sat down and started pointedly strumming my guitar, shooting him a nasty look.

Finally he got the hint and flew away with a sigh.

I rolled my eyes. Seriously, skeletal? What a jerk...

The laundromat dinged and I rushed to pull out my clothes.

They were second hand mostly, I couldn't afford anything else, but the dresses were mine at least and I took good care of them. I was just about to take them upstairs when Gretchen walked in, looking more than a little down.

I tilted my head, laying out out my red dress so it wouldn't wrinkle. "Gretchen? Are you alright?"

She sighed. "Yeah... I just met another griffon today, a real asshat. Hey, you have the night free right? After a day like today I could really use a girls' night out."

I froze. A girls' night out? What was that? Bars? I eyed my wilting dresses. Would I pass well enough for that? If I went to a bar were ponies going to give me trouble.

Gretchen noticed my worry, she walked over and eyed my dowdy garments. "You know, I think the black dress would look best on you... I'm not sure why you even have the red one."

I looked down. "It's the first one I found..."

The hen winced, then put a claw on my shoulder. "Hey, don't sweat it. I may be new to the T part of the whole LGB thing, but I know you're attractive. We just have to find you the right combo and tone your makeup down a bit."

I wasn't so sure... But I guess she was cis. "Can... Can you help me?"

She shrugged, but she was smiling. "Can you cook up a mean pizza?"

I groaned. "Can we not talk about Pizza? I eat way too much of that stuff." I think I gained ten pounds since I started my new job.

She grinned. "No prob Peppy, but only if you let me make you pretty. Tonight the stallions, and mares, are gonna go 'damn'!"

The first snag in our outing was getting to Ponyville. We ended up having to just walk there because the train was out. It took a while, but I had pretty stars and good company, so I was in high spirits when we got into town. The place wasn't exactly bustling, but it was gorgeous. It was filled with little thatch roofed hamlets mixed in with more modern buildings. Lights from a couple of taverns and restaurants danced all around. And the few ponies that trundled by were happy and laughing.

I was in awe. After the rough streets and single fast food place in the factory district I thought pony towns were just as bad as my old slum of a city.

I felt myself shrinking. This wasn't a place for someone like me.

Pepper turned back to me. "Gretchen? Are you okay?"

I gulped. She looked so much more like she fit in. She had a gorgeous flowing black dress on that, though well worn, really contrasted nicely with her white fur. With her makeup fixed, her face looked much better too. She was... Beautiful.

I shook myself. I had no idea where that thought came from. "I'm fine. So, know any good place to get some grub and a drink around here?" After moving in with Pepper I was dying to 'invest' some of my savings.

She scratched her head. "I'm not sure. I men, I'm new to town too. That place looks popular though!" She pointed to a bar called the Crow Hop' over on the other side of the street. The music coming out of it was soft, so we could talk and there were a bunch of happy stallions and mares visible through the windows.

I smiled. "Well, it's a bit crowded, but that makes it all the better to score some action..."

Peppermint blanched, which I didn't think was possible.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm not going to make you do anything you're uncomfortable with, but after a day like today I could use a confidence boost. C'mon! Let's head inside."

A solid beat filled the room and there was a bit of dancing going on on the floor, but it wasn't overwhelming.

I smiled. Gretchen was off getting snacks while I sat in our booth and took in the music. I wasn't much of a connoisseur of the stuff, but I always found it inspiring. Some of my best stories were written with a heavy metal beat in the background or were inspired by the mournful tune of a violin. I could never figure out what it was about the stuff that got to me, but the good stuff touched my soul in all the right places.

When Gretchen came back, she had a surprisingly large haul. A large order of cheese fries and a blooming onion, along with a couple of rootbeers. I didn't drink, and Gretchen wanted to 'keep her senses sharp while hunting booty' I had managed to giggle only a little when she said that.

She set down the food and tore a rather frighteningly sized hunk from the onion, gulped it down nearly whole. "Gods I missed these... Hmm..." She stared out at the crowd with an almost predatory smirk. "Nice selection, very nice."

I nibbled at a cheese fry and let out an uncertain noise. "I guess some of these ponies are pretty, but... don't you worry you're being a little objectifying?"

Her feathers slicked (she looked uncomfortably thin when she did that, but maybe it was just a griffon thing). "I'm not objectifying them! I just... appreciate their physical forms I guess? Besides, I haven't ever slept with someone I didn't respect, and I'm not going to start now."

I tried to accept that, but there was a part of me that still felt uneasy. It was weird to think about, being ogled by mares, or hens. People had said I was attractive as a stallion so I wondered how many conversations like this mares had about me.

Of course, now no stallion or mare would ever look at me so I guess it was all moot...

I shook myself. Now was not the time for a pity party. I turned to Gretchen. "Alright, then, find an attractive pony in this bar and..." I leaned back and did my best to smirk. "tell me why you respect them."

She grinned. "Now we're talking... Oooh! There!" She flung out a claw and pointed to a far booth.

The only one sitting there was an only moderately attractive brown haired aqua stallion scribbling at a sketch pad. I raised an eyebrow. "Him?"

Gretchen nodded. "Look at him, hot, but hot not enough to be a dick about how hot he is. Focused too, he's barely looked at the dance floor with how much he's sketching the lights. And he's an artist, one who seeks beauty in this dreary world. It bumps up his hotness like a hundred percent." She purred appreciatively. "And I don't know why, but I'll bet you anything he's a freak in bed too."

I tilted my head. "Wouldn't you want someone who wasn't a freak."

She rolled her eyes. "I meant maybe he likes dressing up or something, not that he plays with people's butt holes in the back of crowded theaters, gods..."

I held up my hooves apologetically. "Okay, okay... So what now?"

She took a sip of root beer and wiped herself off with a napkin. "Now I go introduce myself. We talk. We see if we like each other, and I ask if he wants to have some fun."

I felt clammy. "Just like that?!"

She smiled. "Just like that. Remember, the number one rule for picking people up is to be confident... And hot, but I've got that covered. Wanna tag along, be my wing mare?"

I snorted. She wasn't wrong. "Okay then Sensei, lead the way."

The stallion was even hotter up close. He wasn't as built as the griffon I'd met earlier, but he had this sort of absolutely adorable, nerdy look about him.

He looked up from his sketch pad as we approached. "Hello...?"

I waved to him. Pepper was trailing close behind with a blush on her face so red she looked like the world's most adorable tomato.

"Hi!" I said, "My friend and I are new in town and trying to meet new people. We saw you across the room and were wondering what you were sketching."

He smiled. It was impossibly cute. "I'm Canvas! Nice to meet you." He gestured to the other side of the booth. "Please, sit!"

Cute and nice? Score! I sat down as nonchalantly as I could manage and smiled back. I eyed my wing mare. Poor Pepper was stiff as a board.

I let out a breath. I'd just have to do my best to exude calm. I caught a glimpse of the stallion's pad. "So, stage lights... An interesting choice of subject."

The earth pony shrugged. "It's a bit of an experiment with rendering glares and beams. It's more of a doodle than anything I'd sell."

My eyes widened, genuinely impressed. "You're a professional artist? Nice! There aren't a lot of people that get to make a living doing what they love."

He looked off into the crowd with an airy smile. "Yeah... It was pretty rough getting to where I am, but I know I'm lucky." He turned back to me. "How about you? What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a musician." I said. Hey, don't look at me like that, it was true.

"Cool!" he looked over to Pepper, "Uh... Are you okay? You look tense."

Pepper flinched. "Sorry! I'm, just... Not good at strange ponies... Not that you're strange! I mean... Sweet Celestia, I really don't know how to be a wing mare..." Her eyes went wide. "I shouldn't have said that should I?"

I grimaced. There was a small part of me that was cursing her, but mostly I just felt bad for dragging her into this.

Canvas' face was a study. "Wing mare...? Are you hitting on me?!" He looked... Horrified, for some reason.

I held up my claws reassuringly. "Easy, easy. I'm just getting to know a cute stallion who happens to be a sensitive artistic soul. I'll admit, I'm interested, but can you blame me?" I turned to my room mate. "Hey Pepper, easy... Shhh...." I put a wing around the shaking girl, trying to soothe her a bit.

I gave the stallion an apologetic smile. "Would you mind if we took a rain check on this little flirtation? I think my friend could use some air."

"No!" He snapped, then winced. "I mean... yes, please make sure your friend is okay, but we are not doing this. I swear the one day I leave off my ring... I'm-"

"Canvas!" came a startlingly familiar, unpleasant voice. The griffon from this morning landed next to the stallion and wrapped a wing around him. "I'm so sorry I'm late. I saw this Gryphoness earlier today who seemed ill, so I decided to send in a report and..."

Only then did he notice Pepper and I sitting across from his fiance.

A thousand, horrible thoughts flew through my overtaxed mind. Pepper was scared, I was in serious trouble and I had no idea what to say in this situation.

And of course, I wasn't getting laid.

Fuck.

Author's Notes:

Troy and Canvas used with permission of romance expert TheVClaw