“Aren’t we supposed to be thieves?”

“I think that word is needlessly amateurish, but yes.”

“Maybe this is a dumb question, but since when did thieves give shit back?”

“This is different. We’re playing a whole new game.”

I paced back and forth, tossing my cell phone from hand to hand. After a nice, long conversation with Celestia, I was ready to start putting together a plan. This was going to be our biggest heist so far. Our job was to steal the six Elements of Harmony, massive gemstones with a total value almost incalculable, and deliver it to the visiting leader of the changeling nation: Queen Chrysalis.

“Why the hell are we doing this?” asked Dash. I could tell that she was far from letting our little argument the day prior go. She just realized that she needed me a lot more than she was angry.

“Celestia wants to get elected,” I said. “The guy she’s running against is a firm advocate of international relations between Equestria and Chrysalis. Celestia is not. If word were to get out that the opponent’s best buddy Chrysalis had arranged to have Equestria’s most valuable historical relics stolen…”

“It’ll sway the polls in Celestia’s favor. I get that.” Dash kicked her feet up on the table. “But since when did we get involved in politics?”

“It’s not about the politics. It’s about making more money, catching bigger scores. This is about history, making it and changing it.”

“Fuck history, I want a check,” said Dash. “I’m not risking my ass trying to lift a couple of national treasures for a big, crazy handful of nothing.”

“You’ll be paid,” I promised.

“How much?”

“Enough to make the job worth it, I’m sure.” Dash was starting to get under my skin. If Spike was here, he’d definitely appreciate this heist for what it was. Who cared about the pull? This was history!

“You don’t even know how much we’re getting paid?” asked Dash. “Un-fucking-believable.”

“If you’re not happy with the job, feel free to find another one,” I said. “I should warn you, though. Not many people are hiring druggie, murderous criminals these days.”

“Fine, whatever,” grumbled Dash. “No need to be a dick about it. Just… Let’s run through the plan.” I didn’t respond, at which point Dash leaned forward with an almost disgusted look on her face. “You do have a plan, don’t you?”

“No plan survives first contact with the enemy,” I said evasively. Dash looked at my, dumbfounded, for several seconds.

“You are so full of shit I think I can actually smell it.”

“Look, we don’t have a lot to work with here. Very few tools, and we blew most of our cash on this place,” I said. “We need to do some smaller heists to save up money to buy materials for this one. Damn, we’re understaffed. Another set of hands would be invaluable.” I slipped my phone back into my pocket, unsure as to why I took it out to start with. “Where’s the girl?”

“She wanted to get some air. Said she was starting to feel suffocated.” She glared at me with a look that screamed “Don’t even try it”. “Guess PTSD will do that to a kid.”

“I can only imagine,” I said flatly. “Perhaps you should try talking to her.”

“Perhaps you should go fuck yourself.”

I was going to respond when my burner rang, stopping my sharp remark before it was fully formed. I flipped it open and put it to my ear.

“Hello, Ms. Sparkle,” said Celestia. “How are things down at headquarters?”

“We’re surviving,” I said. “Though my partner is a bit concerned. She’s worried about our payment.”

“Oh, of course. That’s quite understandable. That’s one of the reasons I’m making my visit.”

“Er… Visit?”

“Yes. It’s been too long since I checked on this particular location,” said Celestia. “Besides, there were a few things we need to discuss that I would rather do in person.”

“Right. Well, when can I expect you?” I asked. She chuckled.

“I’m parking as we speak. I’ll be inside in just a moment.”

The line disconnected, and I felt my heart fall into my stomach. I wasn’t ready for that, which made me very uncomfortable. I was always prepared for everything, but Celestia had thrown me for a loop. I didn’t intend for Dash to meet our new employer so soon (or at all, to be honest). I hadn’t properly prepared her and, given her mood, she would go off the rails at the first available moment.

“Damn!” I slipped my phone into my pocket. “She’s here! Dash, shut up. Don’t say anything unless I tell you.”

“Whatever, man,” said Dash. “Just make sure we get paid for this shit.”

I didn't have time to respond else before I heard the door open. I turned my attention to the door, seeing Celestia in a new, bright orange suit. She smiled as we met eyes, but I kept a straight face. She strode towards me, making me more and more uncomfortable. The air around her just seemed unnaturally perky. I kept on my toes around that woman.

“Ah, Ms. Sparkle, it’s good to see you again,” she said, extending her hand. I gripped it a little tighter than last time and shook. She turned to Dash. “And you must be Ms. Rainbow Dash. I am Senator Celestia Regal, and I will be your employer for the foreseeable future.” Dash stared at Celestia’s extended hand as if it were a dead rodent being offered to her. She spared me a sideways glance.

“Am I allowed to talk now, Master Sparkle?” she asked snarkily.

“Dash…” I snarled. She shrugged, then, instead of shaking the Regal’s hand, slapped her palm, then hit the back of Celestia’s hand with her own. I sat there, mortified, as Dash proceeded to fist bump Canterlot’s Senator.

“Interesting. Now that greetings are out of the way,” Celestia never faltered, as if she had anticipated all of this. “We need to get down brass tacks. This job is going to be quite the undertaking and, for obvious reasons, I want to bolster its chances for success as much as physically possible. So, Ms. Sparkle, if you could start by giving me a comprehensive list of materials you’ll need, I can begin getting them delivered to you, and we should be able to at least begin before the Queen arrives.”

“Well… To be honest, we’re quite under-equipped for a job of this magnitude,” I admitted. “We could use some guns, a van, drills, saws, et cetera. But, more than anything, we really need some floor plans and blueprints. The more we know about the place, the better.”

“I’ll have my sister dig those plans out for you, and she’ll fax them over this afternoon,” said Celestia. “As for your weapons and tools… Give me three days, and I shall have a veritable armory on your doorstep. Your van may be a bit longer, but you will get it. In fact, I have a contact who has one laying around, but they’ll want to give it a few upgrades.”

I nodded my appreciation. Celestia was being very accommodating, or very stupid. She was willing to shell out a lot of money on this operation that had no guarantee of success. I couldn’t understand how she was so confident in me. Somehow, her confidence made me confident. Celestia didn’t strike me as the type to just take a chance on someone. She must have seen something in me.

“Yo, Senator Lady,” said Dash, immediately stopping my heart in my chest. “The van and guns and shit are cool, but we could really use a plan.” She jabbed her thumb in my direction. “The Big Bossman over here doesn’t have one.”

“I have a plan,” I snarled. “And keep your mouth shut.”

“Sorry, Master Sparkle.”

Celestia chuckled, then shook her head as if she was disappointed. That tiny gesture made my stomach turn. Here I was, supposedly a fearsome criminal mastermind, and my subordinate was making me look foolish and weak. I couldn’t allow that.

“Ms. Regal, please excuse me,” I said. “Dash, a word.”

I didn’t give her a choice, I just grabbed her by the elbow and dragged her as far away from Celestia as possible while remaining in the building. When I was positive that we were out of earshot, I prepared to lay into Dash.

“What the hell is your problem?!” I snapped, trying to bite her head off while keeping my voice down, so that Celestia couldn’t hear us. “You’re embarrassing me. Stop.”

“Wanna know my problem? My problem is that you’re a selfish, irresponsible sack of shit, and I’m tired of it,” said Dash. “It’s been days now, days, and you haven’t so much as apologized!”

“Apologized for what?”

“Squirt! She’s not sleeping, hardly eating, won’t talk, won’t move, won’t do shit, because you fucked up!”

“We’ve had this discussion already. You got tackled, she saved you, so you’re at fault.” I noticed her ball up her fists again, but, this time, I had no desire to fight. That would look bad for me.

“Fuck you! That whole thing is on you! If we would’ve come straight here, we wouldn’t be having this problem! And, on top of that, Spike might not have hung you out to dry, so this job of yours would be going a hell of a lot easier. Face it, Boss, you fucked up.”

It took a lot of self-restraint to not punch her in the jaw. I really wanted to, but I managed to hold off. I turned my back and took a deep breath. When I was as calm as possible, I turned back to Dash. I didn’t want to shout when I said this next bit. I wanted her to understand that this was not a threat. It was a promise.

“Dash, I think we’ve become a bit too chummy as of late, and that’s my fault. So let me set the record straight,” I said, slowly so that there was no misunderstanding me. “I am your boss. You are my employee. You work for me to finish a job and, if you’re lucky, get paid. If you would like to keep that job, to continue paying for your drug habit and providing for and protecting that little ankle-biter of yours, I suggest you learn some respect. And, if you don’t, just think about what termination from this position would mean. You know how I feel about loose ends.”

“Excuse me? What are you trying to say?” she asked. I took a step closer, and she backpedalled out of fear.

“I’m not trying to say anything. I said what I said, and you should think long and hard about what that could mean.” I jabbed my index finger in her direction. “You’re going to shape up or ship out, and I promise you this, you will not like where you end up. Do I make myself clear?”

She remained silent for a few, trying to decide if she should risk a smart remark. Eventually, she made the right choice.

“Crystal,” she said.

“Good. Now, get out,” I said.

“What?”

“Get out. I need you to do some scouting for apartments for us. Preferably not in the same complex. We can’t live in this library forever.”

“Fine. I’ll see what I can do. Watch Scootaloo for me,” she said quietly. She set off, leaving the library through the rear entrance. I sighed tiredly, then ran my hands through my hair. Dash was really becoming a pain in my neck.

“Ms. Sparkle? Is everything okay?” called Celestia. I turned on my heel, a strange idea forming in my head.

“Perfectly fine,” I returned. “But that list we were talking about. I need to add one more thing to it.”

A few hours had passed, and Celestia had left, returned with what I had asked, then left again. She was surprised that I had asked for that. Said I didn’t strike her as the type. I assured her that I wasn’t, and that this was strictly for business. Still, she said she didn’t judge, so long as it didn’t affect my performance.

I had to stroll around the outside of the library for a few minutes before I found her. She was sitting in a shady little corner, as if trying not to be noticed. When I arrived in front of her, she sort of looked past me, as if I wasn’t even there.

“Scootaloo,” I said. Still, nothing. I crouched down and shook her firmly. “Snap out of it, kid. You’ve got that thousand-yard stare.”

“Sorry. Didn’t notice you,” she said. I took a seat next to her, trying to keep a comfortable distance between us.

“Can’t really blame you. You’ve been through quite the ordeal, haven’t you?” She didn’t know how to respond to that, which was fine. I’d prefer to do most of the talking anyway. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“There’s no one to talk to. No one who’d understand.”

“Kid, I’ve been doing this longer than you’ve been alive. If there’s anyone who would understand, it’d be yours truly.”

She didn’t say anything for a bit, but she did seem to wake up a little bit. I took the moment to really inspect her condition. Her skin looked clammy, and her eyes were bagged. I could hear her stomach growl, but she chose to ignore it. The ordeal really did mess her up.

“I didn’t mean to do it,” she said quietly. “I didn’t want to do it. I just saw her on Rainbow and my hands moved on their own.”

“That’s normally how it goes,” I said with a nod. “When someone you love is in danger, your adrenaline and your instincts kick in, and you just act.”

“It was loud. The loudest thing I’ve ever heard. You see it in movies and it’s just like bang, you know? But this… My ears were ringing.” A short bout of silence overtook us. “Wanna know the fucked up part? I still heard the bullet go through her head. It was this wet, kinda squishy… Fuck, I still hear it. Every time I close my eyes, that sound just plays over and over in my head.”

“Kid, it’s not your fault,” I said. “You did what you had to do to protect your big sister. I respect that. My respect is not an easy thing to earn.”

“I wish I didn’t do it,” she said. I could see the tears forming in her eyes. “Why couldn’t there have been another way?” I cautiously reached over and patted her on the back.

“Sometimes, there is no other way,” I said. “Sometimes, you have to do something awful to keep afloat in this world.”

“I think I’m sick… I’ve been nauseous since I did it…”

There. A perfect opportunity.

“Well, not many know this,” I said. I reached into my pocket and pulled out the blunt that Celestia gave me. “But cannabis is quite good for nausea.” She looked at me with wide eyes, then turned her head in search of Dash. “She’s out. Don’t worry, I won’t tell if you don’t.”

Carefully, as if afraid of failing some sort of test, she reached forward and grabbed the joint. I pulled out a lighter and lit it for her, watching as she took a pull. After a few puffs, she offered it to me.

I’d never smoked anything stronger than a cigarette. I found most drugs to be distractions, or more trouble than they’re worth. Spike used to smoke pot, but he quit pretty quickly. Said it didn’t quite have the same effects on dragons.

“Why not?” I said. I accepted the joint and took a deep drag. I apparently took too deep of a drag, because I immediately began hacking up my lungs. That seemed to be the end of the pot’s effects on me. I didn’t really feel any different. I was quite underwhelmed.

“Damn,” said Scootaloo. “Can’t believe you’ve never smoked before.” Immediately, I started laughing, and I didn’t stop for at least two minutes. To this day, I have no clue what was so funny.

“Heheheh,” I coughed again, just as my laughs were dying out. Even in my apparently high state, I knew that I couldn’t make this a habit.

“Wow, Twilight, you are fucked up,” noted Scootaloo. That made me chuckle, but with a bit more control.

“You have no idea,” I said.