“Where are we going?”

“I gotta meet up with a friend.”

“In the middle of the fucking desert?”

“He insisted.”

Dash wasn’t nervous. She had no reason to be. I hadn’t shared my concerns with her, not yet. Any unease, I’m sure, came from the fact that Scootaloo wasn’t with us. Also, she hadn’t gotten any drugs on her hands in a few weeks. She was bound to be a bit irritable.

Moving to Appleloosa wasn’t fantastic, but at least it kept her clean.

“So, why invite me?” asked Rainbow, kicking her feet up on the dash. “I should be at home, in case Rarity comes through with another job. It’s been what? A month?”

“She has my number,” I said. “Besides, I wanted to talk to you. I feel like we’re missing out on some good bonding, you and I.”

“Are you fucking serious?”

“Look, Lyra and Moondancer were my oldest friends,” I explained. “Spike notwithstanding. The four of us worked really well together because we were all best friends. I want that connection with you.”

“We’ve been doing well so far, haven’t we?” I shot Dash a glare. “Fine. It’s not like you’re the worst person to hang with in the world. Drinking with you back in Canterlot was kinda fun.”

“Speaking of Canterlot…” I sighed. “I’m really sorry about what went down.” She looked a bit confused. “I mean, I sort of ruined your life. I feel bad, forcing you out of your home and bringing you down here.”

“Hey, I’m loyal to people, not places. I don’t give a fuck where I am,” said Dash with a convincing amount of nonchalance. Then, she got a little quieter. “Besides… After what happened to Soarin, I couldn’t look at that house, let alone sleep there.”

“Right. Still, home is home. I feel bad that I took that from you.”

Dash pulled out a cigarette and started smoking. After a few puffs, she offered it to me. I took a draw, thinking hard about what I would do. Half of my mind was with Dash. The other was all over the place.

“Listen, me and Scoots are from Cloudsdale. I only moved to Canterlot a year or two ago. All that time, the best thing that happened to me was meeting you.” Dash met my eyes, blushing at my slight smirk. “I swear to God, that sounded way less gay in my head.”

“I’m flattered.” A short silence overtook the van, at which point I returned the cigarette. Dash flicked it out of the window, tapping her fingers on her knee anxiously. I’ve seen a lot of dope heads in my day, and not many were able to kick the cravings so easily. Dash just seemed a bit jumpy.

“What do you think of Rarity?” I asked. Dash just shrugged at first.

“I think she’s fine. Hot as hell. If she didn’t have a thing for Spike, I’d be first in line,” said Dash. “She’s kinda scary, though.”

“Scary how?” Could she possibly be on the same page as me? Could we really be thinking the same thing?

“Scary like you. A big boss lady who takes no shit.” Dash shrugged again. “I dunno. She’s probably nicer than you, though. And she has a sense of humor.”

Of course not.

“Hm. I suppose so. What about her sister?” I asked. “That girl creeps me out. She’s been brainwashed pretty badly. I spoke to her last week, asked her about herself, and she ended up telling me the proper way to remove a heart.” I shook my head. “What do you do to a girl to make her think like that?”

I expected Rainbow to be outraged, or at least angry at how Rarity treated her sister. It would make a lot of sense for her to be offended. However, she slumped down slightly, her expression dropping to what seemed like shame.

“Brainwashing?” The way she said it didn’t make it seem like much of a question.

“I don’t know what else to call that,” I said. “She’s been feeding this kid all this horrible information to turn her into a killing machine. I don’t have my dictionary on hand, but I’m pretty sure that’s exactly brainwashing.”

“Yeah, but… It’s just, like…” Dash struggled to speak. “Who are we to judge?”

“Huh?”

“We’re not exactly saints, Boss. We’re scumbags. Criminals. Killers.”

“You’re not a killer,” I said, panic clawing at me. This wasn’t going the way I wanted it to.

“I shot Thunderlane. Dropped some kid’s older brother dead because I was high. Plus, it’s not like I’m Older Sister of the Year, anyway.”

Sometimes, it’s better to just sit back and shut up. Sometimes, you should leave well enough alone, and resist the urge to ask “what do you mean” when someone says something heavy.

“What do you mean?” I asked. Dash sighed, burying her face in her palms.

“I met Scoots on the streets. She had no place to go, nowhere to live, so it wasn’t hard for me to be a hero to her. I got attached to her, and I ended up taking advantage of it,” said Dash. “I didn’t mean to, honest, but I’ve conditioned her to see me as a god. It wasn’t hard. I just said things like ‘aren’t I the greatest?’. Then we played video games. ‘I’m fucking awesome, let’s go get ice cream’. Years of that and now she sees me as a hero, and I’m not.” Rainbow looked like she might start crying soon, which I was not in any way prepared for. “And I dragged her into my shit, and I’m fucking up her life, and she’d be better off without me, but I won’t let her go. For all my talk of wanting her to be better than me, I’m the one fucking her up! I’m too weak and selfish and scared to just tell her to leave, because I don’t know what I would do without her.” She laughed sort of hysterically. “So, like, who the fuck am I to judge how she handles her sister? Fuck, am I crying?” She wiped her face, trying to pretend that it never happened. “Fuck me.”

Remorse feels like someone took a rock and slipped it right behind your heart. It’s solid, hard and unmoving. I had a lot of it right then. While I still think it was the right thing to do, I felt bad that I had to get Scootaloo involved. Given how much Dash cared about her, it’s really no surprise that she attacked Thunderlane.

“Dash… You didn’t kill Thunderlane,” I said. I could feel her eyes draw themselves to the side of my face. “He survived the shot. I killed him after you left.”

“Doesn’t matter. He’s dead because of me, so I killed him.”

She would remain firm on that subject every time I spoke to her about it afterwards. There was no changing her mind; Putting him in the situation was just as bad as pulling the trigger, as far as Dash was concerned. She had some interesting morals, Rainbow Dash. I think that’s one of the reasons I invited her to the Crew, and to the desert with me. She was extremely interesting to me.

We drove for nearly half an hour, pulling to a stop in the middle of nowhere. I hopped to the back, returning with a GPS and two shovels. Dash uneasily accepted one, and stepped out of the van. I followed her example, then led the way out and a few yards away. I started to dig.

“What are we doing?” asked Dash.

“I’m expecting a care package of sorts,” I explained. “We need to bury it. Feel free to jump in whenever you like.” With a shrug, Rainbow took her shovel and assisted with my digging.

“So, how are you adjusting?” asked Dash.

“Adjusted. I’m already over it.”

“Yeah, except you’re not. That was your brother, man.”

“So it was. But he’s fine,” I said, gripping my shovel tighter. “I mean, he hates my guts now and I’ll never be able to really see him again, and he’ll be on my ass like white on rice, and my two best friends stabbed me in the back and ruined everything!” I didn’t realize it, but I started shouting. “But I’m over it.”

“Look, I don’t know her, but I do know you,” said Dash. “And anyone who’s known you for any decent amount of time should know that you’re not to be fucked with. So, for someone to have fucked with you, they must’ve had a real good reason.”

“I was going to break her out, Dash. A good six, seven months, and she was free!” I stabbed the ground angrily with my shovel. “My best friends… I should’ve learned from Starswirl. You can’t trust anybody.”

“You can trust Spike.” Dash stuck her shovel in the sand. “And you can trust me. Fuck everyone else, because you have us.” I gave Dash a warm smile, then resumed my digging. Dash decided that she said her bit and joined right back with me. She didn’t realize how important that moment was, and I couldn’t really blame her for that.

A few minutes later, when the hole was all but dug, a car approached. A black pick-up truck that pulled to a stop a few yards from me. I pulled myself out of the hole just in time for the door to swing open.

“Y’know, I’ve been set up more times than I care to admit,” said Rift as he stepped out of the truck. “And being invited to the middle of nowhere with no witnesses and a very grave-like hole… That’s basically a set-up shopping list.”

“Good to see you. Did you bring my stuff?” I asked. He reached into the back and tossed me two duffel bags.

“Didn’t take a cent, I swear,” he said, holding up an open palm. “Scout’s honor.”

“I believe you. There’s not much to steal, anyway,” I said. I unzipped one bag and gave the money inside a quick count. “Three grand here and…” I unzipped the second bag, and immediately closed it when I saw the $1,500 worth of cocaine. The stuff I stole from Dash after our first job.

“Is that… Give it here,” asked Dash. She didn’t recognize it. She probably didn’t even think about where it could have come from.

“No. We can sell this,” I said weakly.

“Unlikely,” said Rift. “Given your, uh… situation, I don’t think selling it would make a lot of sense, financially. Who are you gonna get to move that much? It’s not a whole lot, but it’s enough.”

“I… We’ll divy this up later,” I said. I threw the bag with the money into the pit. “Now, what I say to you next cannot leave this desert. Is that understood, Ms. Dash? Mr. Rift?”

“Sure thing, Dusey,” said Rift with a smirk.

“I can keep a secret,” promised Dash. I nodded. Then, I told them my plan.

My plan was to set up a new safe house somewhere north of Appleloosa, but south of Canterlot. Ponyville was on my mind, but I was open to suggestions. I planned to do this by doing additional jobs with Rift to gain extra money, off the books. Money that Spike and Rarity would remain clueless about. We’d bring the extra funds here, and move only when we have enough. At that point, I would tell Spike what I intended to do. If he was in, we move accordingly. If he wasn’t… Dash and I would leave him behind.

“Wow, Boss,” said Dash, after I gave her the run-down. “That’s fucked up…”

“Listen, Spike loves that woman. He only left her because of me. He deserves better than that,” I said. “So I wanna give him the chance. I’m really hoping he picks her over me this time.” I didn’t mention how uncomfortable Rarity made me, or how much I despised her. It didn’t strike me as relevant. “So… Are you in?”

“Look, Dusey, I’m in it to win it,” said Rift. “But you sure about this? Are you thinking straight?”

“Why do you do the things you do?” I asked. Not missing a beat, Rift broke into a small, almost nervous grin.

“The usual reasons. Money and power and sex and drugs and rock & roll.” I glared at him, at which point his smile fell. “My wife. She makes me happy, so I gotta do what I gotta do to make her happy.”

“I love Spike like my own flesh and blood,” I said. “I want him to be happy. Maybe the best way for him to find happiness is to leave the Crew.” I began covering the loot bag with sand. “It’ll be completely his choice, of course. I just want to be prepared in case he says no, so we can leave as soon as possible.”

“I’m in,” said Dash quietly. “Living with romance, drama, and two alpha dog pack leaders is gonna get real fucking rough, real fucking fast.” Rift threw his hands up in surrender.

“Well, I guess that settles it,” he said. “What’s our first job?”