A tortured moan drifted up from a dark, damp cavern, vibrating fleshy, bulbous stalactite as it makes its way to an opening. Slipping past rows of dingy white stones that line the top and bottom of an opening, it escaped into the world and brought with it a feeling of pain and sorrow. Outside this maw of the cave, Adagio Dazzle and Aria Blaze stare in, both of them wearing matching expressions of disgust as they peer into the foreboding and filthy abyss.

Their eyes drifted over the grimy insides and the longer they stared, the more disgusted their expressions became. It was as if they knew the fate of everything that entered such a location. As if they knew the only thing that could come from entering such a foul place was misery.

Adagio nodded slightly towards Aria. “You go in.”

“No way! You go in!”

Adagio shook her head. “I wouldn’t stick a digit in there if my life depended on it.”

Aria smirked. “You must hear that one a lot.”

Adagio turned to glare at Aria. “Not really, no... Look, as your leader, I order you to get in there!”

Aria snorted. “Leader?! Ever since we got blasted by that Technicolor Pink Void album cover lookin’ horse thing, the only thing you’ve lead us to is a better data plan on our phones.” She frowned slightly. “Which is actually nice… but still!”

Another pained moan escaped from the gaping maw in front of the pair.

Adagio sighed. “Well someone needs to figure out what’s wrong with Sonata! This is somehow worse than regular Sonata.”

Aria pursed her lips. “Well… you’re not wrong.”

Her mouth still wide open, Sonata lowered her eyelids and let out a groan of protest.

“What?!” Aria snapped. “You’re all clingy and whinny!”

Sonata dove forward and wrapped her arms around Aria. “But it huuuuurrrrrrts…!” she moaned.

“See,” Aria said as she attempted to pry Sonata off of her. “This is exactly what I’m talking about!”

The girls stood in their well furnished living room full of gaudy items of gold and purple furniture. Adagio let out a sigh and collapsed onto a big purple couch sitting under a massive clock with a circular gold-colored frame with spikes of different sizes jutting out in lengths of six inches to a foot. She shook her head. “At least look up her symptoms online or something!”

“I already did!” Aria exclaimed as she struggled to free herself of Sonata’s needy grasp. “It looks like Sonata has ‘network connectivity problems’.”

Adagio narrowed her eyes at Aria.

“Joking!” Aria said as she raised her hands in front of her. “I tried to look up what was wrong with Sonata, but all she does is moan, say her teeth hurt, and latch on to me! Not exactly a ton to go off of there.” Aria looked down at Sonata who was still firmly wrapped around her stomach. “Would you get off already?!”

“NO!”

“Go hug Adagio or something!”

“No way!” Adagio said as she swung her hands in front of her. “She already crawled into bed with me last night! She spent the whole night cozying up to me and moaning! It was horrible!” Adagio frowned and stared up at her eyelids. “… Never thought I’d say that.”

“Well what do we do?!” Aria exclaimed. “Watching her suffer in pain is barely fun anymore and now she’s all…”

Sonata let out another sorrowful moan.

“… This!” Aria said as she pointed down at Sonata.

Adagio shrugged. “Take her out back and give her the Old Yeller treatment?”

Sonata giggled. “Hehehe… I like that movie. So funny! Owowowowowowwwwoooooo!”

Adagio raised an eyebrow and looked at Aria. “I take it she’s never seen the ending of that one.”

Aria shook her head. “Oh she’s seen it. Seen it and rewound it over and over again just to laugh to herself.” Aria’s eyes unfocused for a moment. “It was really creepy.”

“You can’t shoot me!” Sonata insisted. “I don’t even have rabies! I need to defend Aria against a rabid wolf first! Owwwwwwwwoooooooowwwwwwie!”

“So… what?” Aria said. “Do we need to go to the zoo or something?”

Adagio shook her head. “Zoos don’t keep rabid animals. We’d have to find an animal with rabies, capture it… have it bite a wolf at the zoo then steal said wolf.”

“Uhg...” Grunted Aria. “There goes our weekend…”

Adagio shook her head. “These are dark times for us, Aria.”

Aria gave Adagio a quizzical look. “So you actually want to go forward with the whole rabid wolf plan?”

Adagio closed her eyes and pressed fingertips against her forehead. “I know it’s hard for you, but don’t be idiotic!”

“Hey!” Aria snapped. “You brought up Old Yeller in the first place!”

Adagio shook her head. “Forget that stupid movie!”

“Never!” Sonata cried, punctuating her statement with a pained moan.

Adagio continued, “What I meant was we’ve never been mortal. Mortals age! Mortals have to deal with stuff like disease and acne!” Adagio looked down at her chest with a frown. “Mortals have to deal with their bodies getting all saggy and wrinkly.”

“Oh! Oh!” Sonata chimed in excitedly. “Like that doggy! You know… the Sharpie!”

Aria looked down at Sonata in confusion. “… What?”

Adagio shook her head. “She means ‘Shar-Pei’.” She continued, “Who knows what new and horrible human things we’re dealing with now! What terrible and tragic changes are going to befall us now that we’re… ugh… getting older. What we need is someone who’s been there. Someone else who’s gone from a world of spells and magic to technology and bodies that betray you. What we need is—”

Sunset Shimmer let out a heavy sigh as she stood in front of the Dazzlings’ doorstep. Much like the Dazzlings themselves, their house was almost impossible to ignore. Although structurally it was just as large and shaped similarly to the houses around it, there were several factors that made it stick out like a thumb that had been whacked with a hammer repeatedly. The Dazzlings house was painted a bizarre mix of purple, blue, and orange splashed across the house in a fairly nonsensical way. It was if the three girls couldn’t decide which color to paint the house and rather than compromise, had some sort of paint war that raged on until the house was conveniently covered and the point became moot when they couldn’t be bothered to care at that point. Now that she had conjured up that image, Sunset would have been surprised if the truth turned out to be anything different.

Additionally, the lawn was also a mess of different grass lengths. Not so much as if someone had mowed it and got bored halfway through, but more like someone attempted to trim the grass with a sword. Although there were a few flower beds amongst the flora, these beds ranged from colorful unkempt masses to lumps of dead plants.

Still simply standing in place, Sunset let out yet another sigh.

“You’ve been sighing non-stop since we started driving over here!”

Sunset turned around to face the country girl who had just addressed her.

Applejack continued, “Don’tcha think you’re maybe frettin’ yer pigs are gonna run wild before you even open the pen?”

Sunset shook her head. “The Dazzlings don’t know how to do anything but run wild! You should know that by now!”

“Shoot, they’re just normal teenagers like you and me now!” Applejack said. “Can’t be all that bad…”

Sunset’s shoulders dropped along with her eyelids. “You don’t have to deal with them as often as me. Even without the ability to mind control people and magically make everyone around them angry, the girls are still a blight upon this planet! They spread disaster and just general weirdness wherever they go!”

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “Well if that’s what ya think, you seemed awfully eager to get away from mah home.”

“Sorry,” Sunset said earnestly. “But horseback riding is kinda weird for me.”

Applejack frowned. “Huh… Guess that was a tad insensitive of me to suggest.”

Sunset nodded. “Also your horse keeps giving me this look… Like he knows what I am.”

“Guess that’d be a might unsettling.”

Sunset turned and stepped up to the door. “Plus I think he likes me because of that.”

“Shoot, he’s a friendly horse. He likes everybody!”

Sunset turned and gave Applejack a sideways glance. “That’s not the type of like I’m talking about.”

Applejack’s eyes widened and the color drained from her face as if she had just thrown open a door and accidentally walked into a barn with one of her best friends getting rather close to one of her farm animals. “Well there’s an image that’ll haunt my nightmares for a few weeks.”

Sunset turned back towards the door and rolled her eyes. “Believe me” –Sunset knocked on the door— “that’s nothing compared to what we’re about to go through.”

The door suddenly opened as two pairs of hands pushed Sonata out. Sonata quickly wrapped her arms around Sunset Shimmer and moaned into her chest as the door was closed just as quickly as it was opened.

“Case in point,” Sunset said without missing a beat.

“Huh…” Applejack said. “Does she always do that?”

Sunset quickly thrust her fingertips down past Sonata’s arms, pushed against the arms with her palms, and escaped Sonata’s grasp. “Sorry, Applejack.”

“Sorry? Sorry for—”

Sunset pushed Sonata into Applejack who responded with an “Ooof!” before Sonata wrapped her arms around her.

Sonata giggled. “You smell like apples!”

“Uh… Thanks?”

“Owieowieowieowie!”

“HEY!” Sunset cried as she gave the door several hard knocks. “YOU CAN’T JUST FOIST SONATA ON ME!”

“SUCKS TO BE YOU!” Aria shouted from behind the closed door. “SHE’S YOUR PROBLEM NOW!”

“YOU’RE ALL MY PROBLEM!” Sunset shot back. “BUT I’M GOING TO NEED BOTH OF YOU TO KEEP THIS LITTLE MANIAC IN CHECK!”

Sonata looked up at Applejack with innocent eyes and let out a whimper.

“This sweetie pie?!” Applejack exclaimed. “What kind of trouble could she get into on her lonesome?”

Sunset turned towards Applejack and gave her a heavy glare. “The kind that requires a SWAT team to defuse.”

Sonata giggled. “Someone has been following my Instagram~!” she said in a sing-song tone. “Also, ooooooohhhhooowwwwwwwwwooooooooooooiiiiiiiieeee—”

“We GET it!” Sunset snapped.

A window on the second story of the house opened and Adagio appeared. “I don’t see what your problem is. You have Applesnack to help you!”

“Applesna-I MEAN Applejack lacks the mental fortitude to deal with Sonata!” Sunset fired back.

Applejack looked down at Sonata and back up at Sunset. “You really think she’s that bad?!”

Sunset shook her head. “I don’t think so. I know so!”

Adagio gave Sunset a smug smile. “Well we’re not opening up, so you’re stuck with her until she’s fixed!”

Sunset looked up with a sneer... a sneer that quickly gave way to a thoughtful look. “Hey Aria!” she shouted at the door.

“I’M NOT OPENING THIS DOOR!” Aria shouted back.

Sunset continued, “You get the latest Tekken game yet?!”

“Don’t be stupid! Of COURSE I got it!”

Sunset grinned to herself. “Betcha would like a few people to thwomp on!”

“PFFFT! Nice try! But beating on you is getting… Wait…” The door opened a crack, allowing one of her deep amethyst eyes to poke out. “A few…?”

“Arrrrrriaaaaaa…” Adagio growled as she leaned out the window.

Sunset nodded. “Applejack’s not half bad at fighting games and Rainbow Dash is like the easiest person to get to do something if she’s challenged.”

Aria thought about this for a moment. “Fine! But I’m not doing this without Adagio.”

“I refuse!” Adagio said.

Sunset’s grin turned just a touch devilish. “Then go get her!” she said to Aria.

Adagio’s eyes shot open wide. “What! Aria, no! You can’t just—”

Aria suddenly closed the door.

A slightly panic struck look took over Adagio’s features. “Don’t come up here!” Adagio cried as she turned back into the room. “I’ll… I’ll scream for help!”

Sunset looked up and smirked. “Riiiiight… Like we care.”

Adagio turned back out the window and glared down at Sunset. “Look, I’m the leader of this group for a reason. You really think-AH!” Adagio let out a startled yelp as purple arms wrapped themselves around her and began to pull her away from the window. “ARIA! LET GO!” Adagio cried as she quickly grabbed onto the window frame. “AS YOUR LEADER I COMMAND YOU TO LET GO!” Adagio shouted as she began to claw at the wooden window frame, scraping away splotchy paint and even bits of wood.

Still grinning, Sunset spoke, “What are you going to do? Jump out the window? We’re already down here.”

“I WANT HUGS, ADAGIO!” Sonata shouted from below.

Realization quickly grabbed ahold of Adagio just as much as the vice-like grip Aria had on her. She sighed and went limp as Aria dragged her away from the window.

Soon Aria opened the front door, an arm wrapped around Adagio’s waist as the orange-haired woman hung like a corpse in her grasp. “Alright, so what—”

“ARIA!” Sonata exclaimed with the tone of someone seeing a long-lost loved one for the first time in years. She let go of Applejack and wrapped her arms around Aria.

Aria looked down, sighed, and shook her head. “I have so many regrets right now.”

Sensing Aria was suddenly preoccupied, Adagio broke free of the arm around her waist, landing on the ground on all fours. She made a mad dash for the open door…

“Nope!” Sunset said.

‘SLAM!’

‘THUD!’

… and ran smack dab into it as Sunset closed it shut.

“Ow…” Adagio uttered with her face planted against the door. She quickly pulled her face back and began to frantically claw at the closed door like an animal trying to signal it wanted in from a raging rainstorm.

Sunset shook her head. “Forget it! We’re all in this now! You’re just going to have to deal.”

Adagio let out a defeated sigh and turned. “Fine! But let’s make this quick! Netflix won’t wait forever.”

Aria raised an eyebrow. “It kinda will… It’s sorta its thing.”

“Hey,” Applejack interjected, “maybe we can help better if you told us what was wrong with Sonata.”

Sonata turned and looked at Applejack with a pout on her face. “My teeth huuuuuuuurrrrrrrt!” She moaned.

Adagio nodded. “And there’s no way Aria and I are putting our hands into the fetid cavern of rotting tacos.”

“Ew…” Applejack said as her left eye twitched.

“Told you,” Sunset said with a quick glance at Applejack. She looked back at Adagio. “Well what the heck do you want from me?!” Sunset asked. “It’s not like I have magic healing powers!”

“You must have dealt with stuff like this before,” Adagio answered. “I mean, you did once suddenly find yourself a human too!”

“Well, I suppose...” Sunset mused as she rubbed her chin. “But do you really need me for this? I mean, the solution is obvious!”

“Hey, I know!” Applejack spoke up. “When is it time to go to the dentist?”

Everyone else turned to stare at Applejack.

Applejack grinned wide. “Tooth-hurty! Heh, heh, heh…”

Sonata let out a short giggle, cut off by a long moan.

Sunset and Adagio simultaneously put on unamused looks and rolled their eyes.

“Sonata?” Aria said as she stared at Applejack. “Hug Dagi.”

“What?!” Adagio cried.

“’Kay!” Sonata exclaimed as she dove on top of Adagio and wrapped her arms around her, bringing both girls to the ground.

“ACK!” Adagio cried.

Aria suddenly let loose a fist straight into Applejack’s solar plexus. The air suddenly gone from her lungs, Applejack wrapped her arms around her midsection and collapsed to the ground.

Sunset shook her head and looked downwards. “You brought this on yourself, AJ.”

Aria stared at her fist and shook her fingers loose. “Ow… Geez! You must have like… a stomach of rock under there.”

“… Tha… thanks…” Applejack uttered from the ground.

“Yeah,” Aria said, “so is it all that farm work, or do you—AH!”

Without warning, Applejack lunged at Aria and brought her to the ground.

‘THUD!’

“Ya dang sucker-punching varmint!” Applejack cried as she pinned Aria to the grass and delivered a few solid blows into Aria’s sides.

Aria retaliated in kind as she struggled to free herself from Applejack’s grasp. “Your jokes are bad and you should FEEL bad!”

As the two struggled on the ground, another pair of girls were engaged in a struggle of their own.

“Sonata! Let go of me!” Adagio cried.

“NO!” Sonata said. “Your hair is fluffy and soft like a baby panda pelt blankie!” Sonata declared as she rubbed her face against Adagio’s hair.

Sunset’s turquoise eyes became unfocused as she stared off far, far into the distance…

“This is fine.”

…past the horizon, past the atmosphere…

“I’m okay with the events that are unfolding currently.”

… past the bounds of known space…

“That’s okay, things are going to be okay.”