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A Delicate Balance

by JapaneseTeeth

Chapter 16: The Paradox

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It just doesn't make sense. Well, it kind of does, I guess. I mean, I've been giving Applejack a lot of stuff lately, but I thought that she'd like it. I only did it because that's what very special someponies are supposed to do, isn't it? Although if it bothers her that much, I guess I should at least tone it down a little bit. But on the other hoof, she told me to keep it up if I thought I should... but now I don't know! Ugh, if Applejack doesn't like it I can't keep doing it, but what if it causes her to think that I don't care any more... why does this have to be so complicated!?


No Lover saith, I love, nor any other
Can judge a perfect Lover;

– The Paradox,

John Donne

Rarity's box of imported Saddle Arabian tea leaves normally sat in the back corner of a locked cabinet in her kitchen. It was only on the most special of special occasions that Rarity brewed any of it. Even after Celestia's meeting with the Saddle Arabian ambassadors, the difficulty of the trade routes ensured that very little of the stuff ever made it to Equestria, and most of that which did was purchased in bulk by a few specialty restaurants that were scattered around the country. The remainder, naturally went almost entirely to the upper crusts of Canterlot and Manehattan; nopony else could afford it. She had been lucky enough to receive it as a gift from Princess Celestia as part of her reward for helping to solve that whole Discord incident. Needless to say, Rarity didn't break out the Saddle Arabian tea for just anything.

Today was one of the exceptions. The past two weeks had been... there were no words. She'd rather have spent that time in Tartarus playing fetch with Cerberus than go through that again. Never again, she told herself. Never ever ever ever take four wedding orders at once.

It hadn't seemed too bad at the start; sure it meant doing four custom wedding gowns and four sets of bridesmaid's dresses, but that wasn't impossible. That was eight designs, and once the wedding dresses themselves were set, the bridesmaids' dresses were often trivially easy to finish. Then it turned out that two of the four weddings were what she liked to call mare-pairs.

Under normal circumstances, that made it fun; the dresses had to be distinct, yet complement each other. It was the ultimate challenge for a fashionista. Of course, in this circumstance, it meant that there were now twelve designs to produce. Then it turned out one of the mares had gone overboard with the wedding party, and had eleven bridesmaids and two best mares. Then another one of the mares was one of those kinds of brides and had been less than happy with nearly everything Rarity produced. All things considered, she had gone through nineteen different designs and stitched over forty dresses.

She rather thought that surviving that gauntlet merited breaking out the tea.

The tea kettle whistled. She whisked it off the stove and poured a cup of water, preparing to dip the infuser. The doorbell rang, and a cold chill ran down her spine. She had not planned on having customers today. Surely anypony could have clearly seen the “CLOSED” sign that hung on her door. Which meant that it was probably a personal visit. Perhaps Sweetie Belle. She shuddered. She'd almost rather deal with a customer. She peeked out of the kitchen. The shape at the door was too tall to be her sister.

“We're closed!” she called.

“Rarity?” A muffled voice responded. “Are you in there? I have to talk to you!”

“Twilight?” Rarity perked up. It had been too long since Twilight had given her an update. She could put off her three-day nap for a bit if it meant that she could get some juicy tidbits out of the conversation. “Come in, come in!” She sprang up to answer the door. “What is it you needed to discuss, dear? Something concerning Applejack, no doubt?”

“Um, yes, actually.” Twilight stared for a moment too long at Rarity's mane, which was rather disarrayed. Rarity began to set about fixing it, and immediately gave up. It was too much effort, and she wasn't planning on leaving the house anytime soon anyway. She nodded at Twilight to follow her into the kitchen. “Uh, Rarity, are you okay?”

“I'm perfectly alright. These last few days have been a bit... stressful, but that's all behind me. You simply must tell me how everything has gone since I last talked to you! I must admit that my business has rather dominated my attention lately.”

“E...everything?”

“Of course! I have been assisting you with this from the very beginning! It's only natural that I would want to keep up-to-date on your relationship. I must ensure that everything is going smoothly. At the very least give me a summary!” She took a seat at the table, gestured at Twilight to do the same, and plopped the tea-ball into her cup. “Would you like some tea? It's imported from Saddle Arabia.”

“Uh, no that's fine. I had some of that tea at one of Celestia's banquet's once and it was a bit too bitter for me.”

“Very well, would you like anything else?”

“No, I'm alright.” She took a seat.

“Great! Now tell me what's been going on.”

“Okay...” Twilight tapped her hooves on the table. “It hasn't been too eventful. Applejack and I had a date on the farm. She had set up a picnic on the hill so we could watch the sunset. It was quite nice.”

“That does sound very lovely.” Rarity took a sip of the tea and puckered for a moment. The tea was quite an acquired taste.

“We've had lunch a few times since then, but we haven't had time to go on another real date. Applejack is busy getting ready for the upcoming Zap Apple harvest, and I've been busy getting Spike up to speed in the library. You know, now that he's the official Ponyville Librarian.”

“Is he now!? Little Spikey-wikey is growing up, isn't he?” She sipped her tea again. “I'll have to drop by the library sometime to offer my congratulations. Now then, these lunches with Applejack. Where exactly have you been having them?”

“Well, we had lunch at the cafe twice, once she came by the library after I got off work and we had some soup, and a few times I went out to Sweet Apple Acres for a late lunch and we had leftovers.”

“Hmmm...” Rarity rubbed her chin. “How are things on the gift front? Have you been continuing with the flowers and such?”

“That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Oh, so you're having difficulty with the gifts. Are you running out of ideas? Or is it a financial difficulty? If you're having trouble affording things I may be able to assist you. Perhaps loan you some bits, or find you a good deal on some gems, perhaps.”

“No, no, it's nothing like that!” Twilight shook her head. “Well, I did start working part time at Bon Bon's chocolate shop to get a little extra money, but that's not really a problem. The real issue is that—”

“Bon Bon's chocolate shop?” Rarity nearly choked on her tea. “Well, that's quite something. I didn't think she was hiring.”

“Uh, you keep track of whether or not Bon Bon is looking for ponies to work at her shop?”

“Bon Bon is never looking for ponies to work at her shop. How on earth did you manage that?”

“Well, I was looking for work in the paper when I ran into Lyra.”

“Ah.” Rarity nodded. “That would explain things. She does seem to be Bon Bon's one weakness. Please, continue.”

“She offered to see if she could get me a job at the shop, and well, she managed. How do you know about them anyway?”

“Well, Bon Bon opened her shop not long after I first opened my boutique. I was quite occupied with my own work, so I couldn't really pay much attention to the goings on elsewhere in the town, but from what I understand, she ran into some difficulties.”

“What about Lyra?”

“I was able to speak with her while we were in Canterlot for your brother's wedding. Though how much of that was actually herself and how much was that horrible changeling's brainwashing, I'm not sure. I still cannot believe that she knew Princess Cadance well enough to be a bridesmaid. Apparently they attended a class together in Canterlot or something of that sort.”

“Um, yes, Cadance did say that she worked as a teaching assistant in Canterlot for a few years...”

“That would indeed explain it.” Rarity nodded. “Now then, if cost is not the problem and you have no shortage of ideas, exactly what is wrong?”

“Well, I think I may have... maybe gone just a bit overboard with giving her things.”

“Overboard?” Rarity blinked as she tried to register what the actual problem was. “With gifts?”

“Yes. I think I might be smothering her.”

“What makes you think that?”

“Well, it was just something she mentioned on that date at the farm...”

Rarity's eyes narrowed. “What did she say, exactly?”

“I don't remember precisely what she said. Something about how it made her feel weird that I was giving her so much. I think she might feel like I'm trying to... I don't know, keep her happy by buying her stuff.”

“Are you?”

“No! I just bought her that stuff because I wanted to! And because, well, that's what a very special somepony is supposed to do, isn't it?”

“Yes, gifts are standard procedure for couples. I would think even Applejack would know that. She has no reason to assume that you are trying to bribe her!”

“I wouldn't quite say that,” Twilight said sullenly. “At first I thought it it was strange, but the more I think about it, the more sense it makes. When Applejack first agreed to start going out with me, she wasn't quite as... enthusiastic about it as I was. I always knew that; she pretty much told me that she wasn't sure how she felt about it. I've just been trying not to think about it.”

“Ah, so you think she believes that you are only giving her gifts to keep her interested?”

“I guess you could say that.” Twilight rubbed her hooves together. “I know it's probably just me being paranoid again, but even though Applejack seems happy, sometimes... well, it feels like she's just humoring me.” Twilight stared at her hooves. She wasn't tearing up yet, but Rarity could tell she was mere moments away. “What should I do?”

“First of all, have something to drink.” Rarity poured a second cup of water, and dipped the tea infuser into it. “It will help calm you down a bit. Second, just think about things for a moment. Applejack is the most... forthright pony that either of us know. I cannot imagine that she would hide such a thing from you. Here.” She slid the cup of tea towards Twilight.

“But that's your imported—”

“That doesn't matter. You need tea.”

Twilight reluctantly picked up the cup and took a cautious sip. “Huh, this is actually better than I remembered. I guess it's an acquired taste.”

“All good things are,” Rarity said. “I'm sure Applejack will come to appreciate your gestures. Granted, she was never one to care too much for special treatment, so I suppose it isn't a total oddity that she doesn't put much stock in gifts. She's... very content with the simpler things in life.”

“But what am I supposed to do?” Twilight stared into her tea. “I mean, on the one hoof, she told me to keep doing what I wanted to and not to worry about what she thought, but on the other hoof, if she's uncomfortable getting stuff from me, I don't want to bother her!”

“Well, what have you been doing already?”

“I've still been dropping by to see her every day, and I still bring her things. You know, flowers, a fruit basket, a card... I've been trying to tone it down a little and not bring things every day any more, but I don't want her to think that I don't care as much...”

“That is quite a conundrum.” Rarity tapped her chin with her hoof. “For the time being I would recommend you just keep doing what you're doing. Things may be a bit awkward now, but they are steady, and it would be better to keep them that way. I wouldn't make any big changes until you get a better idea of how Applejack really feels.”

“But how am I supposed to find out?”

Rarity placed her hoof on Twilight's. “You just leave that to me, dear.”

“What!? You can't tell her!”

“I never said I would. I'll just stop by the farm to chat, and perhaps see if I can gauge her thoughts on the matter. Maybe she'll be more forthcoming when she isn't speaking to you directly. For now, just try to not let the pressure get to you. The stress really does a number on your mane.” She reached out and patted down a few stray hairs that were starting to curl. “We'll figure this out, I promise.”

Twilight looked up and smiled. “Thanks.”

“Think nothing of it. I have been here for you since the beginning, after all.”


Rarity yawned. Perhaps she should have taken a brief catnap before her excursion to Sweet Apple Acres. She shook her head. Twilight was in need of assistance, and that took priority over her need for sleep. For the moment, at least. Besides, as busy as Applejack was, the conversation surely wouldn't last long. As she approached the house, Apple Bloom burst out of the door, clad in a bunny suit and dragging a watering can behind her.

“Hey, Rarity!” She paused to wave. “How are you doin'? I haven't see you in a while.”

“I'm doing... adequately. Rather tired. Do you know where your sister is?”

“Sure do! She's out back paintin' the cider press.”

“I see. Thank you for your— did you say painting the cider press?”

“I sure did!” Apple Bloom nodded and bounded off.

Rarity rubbed the side of her head. Her fatigue must have affected her hearing. She really needed that nap. She proceeded around the back side of the barn and to her surprise discovered that her hearing was fine. The wheel of the cider press had been totally covered in a colorful, though somewhat uneven and drippy, plaid. Applejack crouched near the base, a paintbrush clenched between her teeth, adding a few final red stripes.

“That's... quite the pattern,” Rarity said. She focused her eyes on Applejack; the cider press was a such a mess of red, purple, and green that it hurt her already tired eyes. “I never realized that you cared much for aesthetics when it comes to your equipment.”

I don't,” Applejack said, spitting the brush into the paint tray. “It's those darn zap apples.” She nodded at the nearby trees, which were shivering and occasionally sparking. “Zap apple cider just doesn't taste right unless you've got the wheel colored just so.”

“'Just so' means looking like...that?”

“Hey, I know all of nothing about matchin' colors and I know it looks awful. But that's how it's gotta be, or all the cider ends up tastin' like pickles, and nopony wants that.”

“I suppose sometimes sacrifices must be made.” Rarity took a few steps to the side, so the wheel would be out of her vision as she talked to Applejack.

“What have you been up to, anyhow?” Applejack asked. “I haven't really seen you around much.”

“Oh, this and that. I've been rather busy with special orders. It’s a good thing I'm used to working under pressure.”

“That bad, huh?”

“I believe a comparison to the amount of business you have during cider season would be in order.”

“You got a mile-long line of ponies waitin' outside your shop? I think I'd have noticed something like that.”

“Alright, so perhaps wasn't quite like that, but I was still busier than I have been in years.”

“If it was really that crazy, shouldn't you be relaxin' or something rather than draggin' yourself all the way out here?” She noted the bags under Rarity’s eyes. “You look a bit... tired.

“Oh, I am, just a little.” Rarity flicked the tip of her mane. “I thought that it would be nice to get a bit of fresh air before resting. I've been cooped up in my boutique for so long that I'd all but forgotten what the sun was like. A nice stroll through your orchards was just what I needed.” She yawned and took a few faltering steps towards Applejack. “Besides, I am in rather dire need of some conversation.”

“So you came to me?” Applejack asked. “Why me of all ponies?”

“Well, Rainbow Dash is probably off floating on a cloud someplace, and I couldn't possibly subject my poor head to Pinkie Pie's antics, so you were the logical choice.”

“What about Fluttershy? She's quiet. Lots of fresh air around her cottage, too.”

“I...uh... You might think that, but...um... it's quite heavy with fur and such from all those animals of hers. Always kicking up dust.”

“What about Twilight, then? There sure isn't any dust in that library of hers.”

“Oh, Twilight, yes. Well, you know Twilight. She's always quite busy with something or other. I'd hate to disturb her.”

“What, and I'm not busy?” She nodded at the cider press. “I kinda am.”

“Well, yes, but I hardly knew that before I came over here.” Rarity assumed her best pouty face. “I just wanted to talk! Is that so wrong?”

“Nah, it's... fine. It’s just that... are you sure you don’t want to take your nap and then come back to talk? You look like you’re havin’ a tough time just standin’ up, let alone havin’ a real conversation.”

“How absurd!” Rarity said with as much indignation as she could muster. “And after I came all the way out here, just to talk to you!”

“Fine, fine.” Applejack rolled her eyes. “I was just about ready for a break anyhow. What kinda conversation did you have in mind?”

“An excellent question, Applejack. I must admit I am rather curious about how things are going between Twilight and yourself. I haven't had the opportunity to catch up on how your relationship has been going; though I hear that you took her on quite a nice date.”

“Um, yeah, I did.” She furrowed her brow at the bluntness of the question. “We had a picnic. We're... doin' fine. I got no complaints.”

“Are you sure?” Rarity leaned in. “You don't sound particularly enthusiastic. Is something...amiss?”

“What? No! In fact, I'll have you know that I'm actually startin' to enjoy myself.”

“You mean you weren't before!?” Rarity asked with mock alarm.

“Of course I was. I’m just just enjoyin’ it more now. I guess romance is a bit of a... what’s that you’re always callin’ it? An acquired taste.”

“Acquired taste, of course.” Rarity nodded. “I know all about those. Are you sure you’ve... uh... acquired it?”

“Um, I’m pretty sure,” Applejack said, furrowing her eyebrows. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, it’s just that,” Rarity yawned again,“sometimes it isn’t quite that easy.”

“Just ‘cause it isn’t easy doesn’t mean I can’t do it. I’ve done plenty of other hard stuff, you know?”

“Yes, yes... very hard stuff.” Rarity blinked a few times, each blink lasting slightly longer. Suddenly she shook her head. “Of course you can do the very hard stuff. But that doesn’t make this any... easier.”

“I know! I just said that it was very hard!” Applejack shook her head. “I mean, it hasn’t been all sunshine and flowers or anything, but I think we’ve been doin’ alright.”

“Only ‘alright?’” Rarity said. “What exactly is keeping from being... um... better than... alright?”

Applejack narrowed her eyes. “Why are you so curious about me and Twilight all of a sudden?”

“I am just trying to be a good friend! That’s all.” Rarity’s eyelids started to droop. She opened them, the effort evident on her face. “Is that really so strange? I only want to be sure that the two of you are happy.” She yawned again. “If there is anything keeping you from being happy, I want to be able to do something about it.”

Applejack put a hoof to her forehead. “Listen, Rarity. I'm just gonna be honest with you. I've been wantin' to tell somepony about this, and it may as well be you. Just promise you won't tell Twilight, okay? I want to tell her all this stuff myself.”

Rarity nodded. “Of course.”

“And don’t fall asleep while I’m tellin’ you this, ‘cause I’m not sayin’ it again.”

“I’ll... do my best.”

“When we first started goin' out, I wasn't all that excited about it. I wasn't totally against the idea of it or anything, it's just that I wasn't quite as gung-ho about the whole thing as Twilight was. It just felt weird to me. Like whenever I'd go to kiss her. It just felt like I had to force myself to do it. But lately, I've been gettin' kinda used to it. It still feels kinda weird, but I'm almost startin' to enjoy it.” Applejack's cheeks flushed. “I... I kinda look forward to seein' her just so I can give her a little kiss, you know?”

Rarity would have squealed about at the cuteness of the sentiment, but she was too tired to. “So everything is going perfectly then? It would be quite unprecedented for two ponies with so little experience in romance to do so well.”

“Well, I can't say it's perfect.”

“Then what rough spots are there?” Rarity forced herself to smile. This was exactly where she wanted the conversation to be. “Perhaps I can help you... smooth them over.”

“It's not an enormous deal or anything. Twilight's a great marefriend and everything, it's just that she... she overdoes it a bit sometimes.”

“Really. In what way?”

“It's like, she always goes out of her way to do stuff. Buyin' presents for me or droppin' by the farm to talk or hang out or whatever, even when she doesn't really need to.”

“So you feel...smothered, perhaps?”

“A little bit, I guess. I mean, it's kinda aggravatin' to have so many flowers sittin' around the kitchen, specially since I'm apparently not supposed to eat those. And Twilight has a habit of visitin' right when I got work I have to—”

“You mean you were eating the flowers Twilight gave you?” Rarity's eye twitched.

“What? I figured that's what you do with flowers! Sure makes more sense than leavin' them sittin' all over the place. They were pretty tasty, too.”

“T-tasty...” Rarity shook her head; Applejack's faux pas wasn't the reason she had come. “So then the problem is that Twilight is... perhaps that she's trying to earn your affection by doing all these things?”

“Nah, that’d be crazy. You really must be tired if you’re thinkin’ like that,” Applejack said. “Twilight might be a bit... too enthusiastic, but I don't think she's tryin' to buy me off or anything like that. Sure, we might not know too much about all this romance stuff, but she knows you can't get it to work that way.”

“Is that so? Then what, exactly, is the issue here?”

“It's not so much that she's doin' all this stuff for me. I might not think that she really needs to, but if she wants to, I can't bring myself to turn it down. No, the thing that kinda bugs me is all the trouble she's goin' to. I mean, if she wants to bring me flowers, great! But she's turnin' her life upside down. Did you know that she went and got a job workin' at Bon Bon's shop just so she can take me out more?”

“Yes, I had heard. I was quite surprised.”

“It's crazy. I'm not even askin' her to do anything and I still feel like I'm imposin' on her. She's changin' so much stuff up that she doesn't need to. The last thing I want is for the relationship to be a burden on her. I know she's just doing it because she thinks it'll make the relationship better, but I just don't know. I know things change when you go from bein' friends to bein' very special someponies, but I don't think it needs to be that big of a change. I liked spendin' time with Twilight just fine before things went all romantic. I don't want her tryin' to make things special all the time. I like her just as much when she's just bein' herself.”

Rarity stared into space for a long moment.

“Rarity?”

“Huh!?” She shuddered and shook her head. “Yes, of course. That is perfectly... understandable?”

“I know, it doesn't really make sense, but I'm not quite sure how else to say it. I like bein' Twilight's very special somepony, but that doesn't mean our friendship has to change, does it?”

Rarity pondered the question for a moment, trying to make sense of it. “I would rather think that change is inevitable when it comes to things like this,” she said carefully. “Though changes can be good or bad, of course. Have you discussed this with Twilight?”

“I tried to bring it up once, but I kinda messed it up. Made it sound like I didn't appreciate everything she was doin' for me. After a minute or two I told her to just keep doin' whatever she wanted and I'd be happy as long as she was.”

“But are you happy?”

“Of course I'm happy. Like I said, I'm enjoyin' things more than I thought I would at first. It's just... it could be better, you know?”

“I understand.” She sighed and rubbed the side of her head. “I wish I could offer you some advice, but it seems there really isn't much I can do. The problem seems to be entirely between you and Twilight.” She suppressed another yawn. “There's really nothing to do other than to take it up with her.”

“Yeah, I know that. I just don't wanna do it. I don't wanna make her think she's bein' annoying. I really don't want to talk about it again until I know what to say.”

“Well, when you think you have it figured out, feel free to use me as... an editor, perhaps.” Rarity put a hoof on her chest. “I will be perfectly happy to do whatever I can to ensure that things work out between you two.”

“I'll keep that in mind.”

“Hey, Applejack!” Apple Bloom's bunny-eared head popped out of one of the windows of the house. “You want some lemonade?”

“Sure thing!” Applejack called. She turned back to Rarity. “Well, I'm gonna grab a drink and get back to work. I'll let you know if I get anything figured out.”

“I'll be waiting,” Rarity said. “I think this air has done me good. If you need me, I'll most likely be sleeping. Oh, and Applejack...”

“Yeah?”

“Would you mind putting a few jars of Zap Apple Jam aside for me? I don't think I'm up to standing in line for hours. I'll pay you extra.”

“I don't usually reserve any, but if you've been workin' half as hard as you say you have, I think I can make an exception. You go get some rest. You, uh, sound like you could really use it.”

“Thank you. I'll see later, Applejack.”

“See you, Rarity. Have a nice nap!” She watched as Rarity stumbled into the distance. “What the hay was all that about?”


Rarity tried to ignore the benches that lined the road back to her house. The temptation to stop for a quick rest increased with every step. She resisted. If she sat, it would be impossible to keep her eyes open. She'd blink, forget to open her eyes, and wake up two hours later when somepony decided to poke her and ask if she was okay. No, she needed to hold on until she reached her bed. Then she could doze for a day or two while she thought about how to advise Twilight.

The situation was nothing short of bizarre. Relationship issues were supposed to be more blatant than this. Somepony was supposed to be lazy, or smothering, or detached, or something that could be solved by bonking one of the paramours on the head and saying “stop doing that.” But of course this situation couldn't have been that convenient. Rarity was quite hard-pressed to say that either of them was doing (or not doing) anything wrong. Twilight was a bit enthusiastic of course, but it seemed clear that she had only the best in mind. Nothing wrong with wanting to display one's affection in a tangible fashion.

Of course, Applejack's position made perfect sense as well. She'd never been one to impose on anypony, so of course she wouldn't want Twilight bending over backwards to please her. Applejack hated being a burden as much as Rarity hated split ends in her mane. Twilight obviously didn't see it that way, but that was the conundrum. Perhaps she could lock Applejack and Twilight into a room and let them out only when they had ironed things out. Or perhaps she could get some rest so her rapidly degrading thoughts wouldn't think that locking the couple in a room was actually a plausible solution to the problem.

Her head was beginning to ache just thinking about it. She tried to push the matter out of her head. In five minutes she would be curled up in bed. Once she had gotten her beauty sleep, then she could tackle the problem. She turned the corner, and her heart all but dropped into her stomach.

Pinkie stood next to the Boutique's front door. The pink pony waved. “Hey, Rarity!”

Rarity groaned, wondering why the universe had decided to do this to her. It felt as if Discord had engineered the entire situation with the express purpose of giving her a headache.

“Hello, Pinkie,” she said, doing her best to sound like she was happy to see her. “To what do I owe the...” The word stuck in her throat for a moment. “...pleasure?”

“I was just wondering if you had a telescope I could borrow. Twilight won't let me use hers anymore.”

“A tele— ugh.” Rarity rubbed her forehead. “No, I do not have a telescope. You'll have to look elsewhere. Perhaps Rainbow Dash has one. Now you'll excuse me...” She stepped around Pinkie. Pinkie simply jumped up, and somehow came down right in front of her.

“I already asked her. She doesn't have one.”

“Then ask Cheerilee. I know she's taken Sweetie Belle's class stargazing before. She probably has a telescope.” She tried to step around Pinkie, but Pinkie shuffled sideways, keeping herself between Rarity and the door.

“Tried that too. She says it's school property and she can't lend it out. Are you sure you don't have a telescope?”

Rarity's eye twitched. Pinkie had no right to be so chipper. “Actually, now that I think about it, I remember finding one under a ream of gold silk last night.”

“Really!?”

“No! I do not own a telescope! I have never owned a telescope!” She stomped her hooves, and immediately regretted it as the shockwaves hit her skull. “Just what do you need a telescope for anyway?”

“So I can watch Twilight and Applejack's next date without bothering them, duh! If I can't find a telescope, I'll have to either hide in the bushes or make my own telescope out of a bunch of magnifying glasses. And last time I did that I accidentally ended up building a heat ray.”

“A heat ray?” Rarity could only stare. “How do you end up accidentally— You know what? It doesn't matter. Have you considered the possibility of just not spying on them and asking how it went afterward? You know, like a normal pony?”

“But I am a normal pony!” Pinkie giggled. “But seriously, I have to watch in real time, so if something happens, I can fix it!”

“By doing what? If Applejack and Twilight look like they're getting into a fight over the tip, are you going to catapult a rubber chicken at them or something? Or would you prefer to parachute in while wearing one of your absurd costumes?”

“Of course not!” Pinkie shook her head, seemingly disappointed at Rarity's lack of comprehension. “That kind of situation definitely merits a bungee cord and a box of donuts.”

“A box of— Pinkie, you can't—”

“A box of Pinkie? I'm not in a box!”

“Pinkie, please! I already have quite a headache, and you are not helping at all. What makes you think that you have a right to intrude on Twilight and Applejack in such a manner?”

“Well, if I had a telescope, I wouldn't have to intrude.”

“You're missing the point! The two of them deserve some privacy; you cannot keep spying on them like this!”

Pinkie snorted. “What's got your tail in a twist? I just want to make sure that they're happy! That's what you're doing, isn't it?”

“Yes, but I do not spy on them. And I only involve myself when one of them asks me to! I most definitely do not go butting in with no regard for whether I am wanted! How happy do you think they would be if they could never share a moment together without having to worry about you swooping in on your ridiculous flying contraption playing a tuba?”

Pinkie thought for a moment. “The tuba is too heavy to fly with, so I'd probably use an accordion, but I see what you mean.”

“Good. You keep that in mind. Now will you please move? I am in rather dire need of a nap.”

“Sure!” Pinkie bounced out of the way. “Oh, Rarity?”

“Yes?”

“You wouldn't happen to have a spare set of banjo strings, would you?”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “No. No, I do not. See you tomorrow.” She vanished into the boutique and slammed the door behind her.


Despite her utterly fatigued state, Rarity still had the presence of mind to fix up her hair before allowing herself to sleep. It was a favor to herself in nine or ten hours; if she skipped it she'd find a bird's nest on her head when she woke up. Naturally, that was unacceptable, no matter how tired one was. Satisfied that every strand was treated with hairspray and pinned in place, Rarity carefully slid herself into bed, and drew her sleep mask delicately over her eyes.

Then she heard a knock on the door.

She buried her head deeper into the pillow, hoping that the sound was simply in her head. There was another knock. She waited. There were more knocks. She sighed. It was almost certainly Twilight; nopony else knocked so precisely. Applejack would knock louder, Rainbow Dash would knock faster, Fluttershy's knocks wouldn't be audible, and Pinkie would just have let herself in already. Sweetie Belle didn't knock, she yelled.

The knocks continued. Rarity groaned. Why, oh why hadn't she told Twilight to wait until tomorrow to come back? She peeled the sleep mask from her face and rolled out of bed. No reason to leave Twilight waiting. The front door squealed as she opened it.

“Good afternoon, Rarity!” Twilight said. She blinked a few times and noticed the bags under Rarity's eyes. “I didn't wake you up, did I?”

“No. Not technically.” Rarity tried to unfurrow her brow, but it didn't work. “Why, exactly, are you here?”

“Um, I saw you coming back from the farm, and I thought you might have found out something useful. Did you?”

“Did I what?”

“Find out anything useful.”

“Oh, uh, yes.” She stared at Twilight through half-closed eyes.

“Well, what is it?”

“That you are thinking about this far too hard!”

“Huh, what's that supposed to mean? What did Applejack say?”

“She didn’t want me to tell you.”

“What? Why not? What should I do?”

“I have no idea,” Rarity said flatly. “But that’s what she said.”

“How is that supposed to help me!? The whole point of you talking to her was to help me get information! If you can’t tell me what she said, what am I supposed to do?”

“Ask her yourself.”

“But... but what if she thinks things aren't working out? What if... it doesn't work out?”

Rarity shrugged. “Then at least you'll get the breakup over with.”

“B-breakup!? What are you talking about? What’s gotten into you?”

“I’m sorry, Twilight.” Rarity shook her head. “You shouldn’t have to worry about that. It’s just that Applejack would rather you hear what she said from herself. I know I offered to help, I just can’t right now. I promised Applejack I wouldn’t say anything, and if I don’t get into bed soon, I’m going to fall asleep on the floor.”

“I know, I know. I’m just not sure what to do.”

“Well, it’s your relationship! You have to figure it out yourself at some point.” Rarity yawned. “Maybe that point is now. Now if you’ll excuse me, I really must get my beauty sleep before my face falls off.”

“I understand.” Twilight sighed. “Sleep well, then.”

“I will.” Rarity slammed the door.

Twilight swallowed. She hadn't planned on having a heart-to-heart with Applejack today, but if that was what it took to put her fears to rest... She headed for the library. Once she figured exactly how to word her concerns in a way that would— she stopped cold and shook her head. That kind of overthinking is what got me so confused in the first place. This time I'm just going to wing it. She took a deep breath and trotted towards the farm.

Author's Notes:

Finally got this done. Yeah, it's a bit shorter than most chapters, but I've been busy. It was fun to write sleep-deprived Rarity, though. I'm sure Applejack sympathizes; she knows what sleep deprivation can do to a pony.

I realize the plot doesn't move forward a lot in this chapter, but the next chapter or two will definitely give it a shove. In the meantime, enjoy Rarity putting up with everything keeping her awake.

Also, I hope my explanation for how Lyra managed to nab a gig as Cadance's bridesmaid makes some sense. I mean, if Celestia has a school...

Next Chapter: A Burnt Ship Estimated time remaining: 10 Hours, 29 Minutes
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