What happened after that, Fluttershy could hardly remember. When she regained her senses, she felt empty—like some part of her that she desperately needed was gone. Her stomach was empty, she knew, and even though she’d been passed out, she hadn’t slept at all. Yet even knowing all this, she didn’t feel that she needed to sate herself. It was like all of her mortal needs had vanished.

More worryingly, when Fluttershy reached into one of the pockets sewn into the robe, she produced a list. She swallowed hard, looking over it—there were names scrawled on the parchment in thick black writing. She didn’t know a single one of them.

Her head was pounding, the implications of what had happened over the last three days finally washing over her—she’d been hoping there’d be some kind of saving grace in the eleventh hour, something to whisk her away from all this, to save her from what happened. It was clear at this point that it simply wasn’t going to happen…

“Hey,” came Blanche’s voice, echoing in her head, “how’s it going, sleepyhead? I’ve never seen a pony out that long before.” He chuckled. “Well, I have, but they were all dead.”

Fluttershy blinked. There were many questions, but all she could think to say was, “How long…?”

“About four days,” Blanche said—hearing him without seeing him was highly disquieting. “If you’re done napping, you do have assignments to take care of. The Ever’s expecting the ponies on that list sharpish.”

Fluttershy swallowed—her throat felt bone-dry. “Um…if you don’t mind me asking…what exactly is different about me now? I…feel really hungry, but it also doesn’t feel like I need to eat…”

“You don’t,” Blanche responded, “you’ll feel hungry, but there’s no actual, physical need to eat anymore. Personally, I couldn’t tell you how to deal with it, considering I gave up my physical body when I became Death—I couldn’t feel hungry anyway. In any case, you don’t need sleep, food, or water anymore, but you can still have them, if it makes you feel better, I guess.”

Nothing could make her feel better anymore, but Fluttershy nodded all the same. To think, now she had a list…had to kill ponies…it didn’t bear thinking about. She’d been too shocked before to even think about everything, but now…her heart felt like a withered apple.

Her thoughts were interrupted when Blanche chuckled, the ceiling opening as it had before to allow the white pony to drift down from the Ever. “I’m sure you’re wondering how to find them,” he said, “I was getting tired of answering the complex stuff, so this is going to be simple. Look at your list.” When Fluttershy did, she noticed that all of the names had locations marked next to them. “When you want to choose a specific pony to take—Old Bones, for example—you just touch their name on the list. You’ll get there, trust me.”

Fluttershy frowned. “Um…I’m sorry, but isn’t that a little vague?”

Blanche snorted—the sound made Fluttershy’s anger, long since bubbling beneath the surface, flare. “Vague?” he asked, “Well…hm…I guess so?” He sighed. “Look, when you touch their name, the knowledge of how to find them—routes, house number, apartment number, all that good stuff—is transferred from the archives here in the Ever into your noggin. It might take some hoofwork, but you can get there, trust me—not needing to rest makes things a lot easier.”

The yellow pony cocked her head. “I have to walk?” she asked, “Um, I hope you don’t mind me asking, but…why can’t I just ‘pop’ to the places I need to be?” She still wasn’t used to the idea of all this yet, and Blanche’s offhanded comments and rough-edged attitude were wearing thin.

“Because,” Blanche said, “you don’t gain that ability until a little later. I can only speculate, but I’m pretty sure it’s to give you time to think about your first few kills while you’re on your way to make them.”

First few kills…the thought made Fluttershy shudder. “Well, er…about that…how I am supposed to…” she swallowed hard, “…kill anypony?”

Blanche raised an eyebrow. “It’s not hard,” he said, “just put your hoof up to them, and declare in your mind that you’re going to draw their soul from their body and send it to the Ever. The rest kinda just happens naturally.”

Fluttershy shook her head. “That’s not really what I meant…”

Blanche sighed. “Look, I can’t tell you how to cope with being Death,” he said, “beyond telling you what worked for me, that is.” When Fluttershy drew back, hurt, the white pony slumped his shoulders. “Listen,” he said, “you’ll figure something out. I have a lot of work to do, and they didn’t tell me I had to hold your hand. I’m sorry if you’re confused or whatever, but if I got used to it, you can too.”

Fluttershy drew back, as if slapped—somehow, she knew that if her friends knew who she really was, what had really happened, well…they’d only given in to avoid making things harder for her. If they’d known, chances were they’d have turned up at Blanche’s doorstep demanding that he rescind his choice. The thought made Fluttershy giggle, but it also sent a pang of sorrow through her—she hoped her friends would be okay without her…

“That all?” Blanche asked, “Or do you have more questions? If you’ve got anything to say, please do say it now—there’s a lot of paperwork waiting for me.” When Fluttershy didn’t respond, he turned, waved, and began to float upwards.

Everything that had happened—Blanche’s offer, Angel’s sacrifice, her friends, the sorrow, the anger, the indignation she’d felt…the way her heart had twisted in her chest, done flips, made her feel like she was going to throw up when she simply took a step…it all came washing back over Fluttershy in an instant, as though the floodgates of her mind had finally exploded.

“Wait!” Came Fluttershy’s voice, suddenly solid, unflinching. Blanche twitched in surprise, wheeling around.

“Yes…?” he asked, irritation clear in his tone.

“I know I might have said something like this before, and I’m sorry if I have, but…” Fluttershy, for the first time since he’d met her, managed to furrow her brows at him, almost like she was angry. “But…how is this fair?” she asked, “I mean…this isn’t just hurting me, this is hurting my friends!” She suddenly seemed so…confident in what she was saying.

“Isn’t it a little late to raise these concerns?” Blanche asked, “You’re Death, your bunny bit the dust for you, you said goodbye to all your friends…shouldn’t you have spoken up before?”

“I know,” Fluttershy said, “I know I should’ve said something before all of this happened, and I was scared, and in shock…and that’s my fault, but…this is just so unfair!” She looked up at Blanche. “To take away Angel…take away my friends…to just dump all this on me without warning…whatever this Ever is, it doesn’t sound like a very nice place at all, if this is what it does!”

Blanche opened his mouth to speak, but the stream of words continued to tumble from Fluttershy’s lips. “I’ve been friends with Twilight, and Rarity and everypony for years now! Is it fair to just decide that, in the middle of my life, I have to give all of them up? How can you do that?” She shook her head. “You can’t, that’s the answer! It’s just no fair at all! So please, just take these powers away, give me back Angel, and let me live my life! I just…” she looked down. “I need my friends…”

Blanche narrowed his eyes. “You think I didn’t feel the same way”’ he asked, “You think I just said ‘Okay, well, everything’s hunky dory, let’s go be Death!’” He snorted, and Fluttershy’s blood boiled even hotter, “It wasn’t any easier for me than it is for you. But you know what? I sucked it up, dealt with it, and went out there and killed ponies. You’ll do the same.”

Fluttershy’s head snapped up, giving Blanche the full brunt of her famous glare. Her heart was hammering inside her chest at the prospect of what she was doing, but she pressed on. “Do you think you can just push ponies around, just because you’re Death?” she asked incredulously, “You think that just because you can, it’s okay to jump into somepony’s life and tell them that they have to be Death?” Her voice had raised a few octaves, more out of fear than anything.

“It’s not fair!” she continued, seeing Blanche starting to wither, “It’s just not fair at all! I had a life, and friends, and a pet I loved very, very much, and I’ve never so much as hurt a pony in my entire life! I can’t hurt anypony! I can’t even hurt a bug!” Blanche was beginning to shrink back, ears flattening against his head. “So you march right back up into the Ever and you tell them that, even though I’m sorry I waited this long, I need my life back!”

Blanche’s jaw flapped for a few moments, as though he was unsure of what to do, what to say, but finally he responded, “…fine,” he said, “if you’re going to insist so fiercely, then I guess I can go ask what can be done.” He narrowed his eyes. “But I’ll warn you, I already got chewed out about not giving you a heads-up—I guess that’s the normal etiquette, but I was never told—but it didn’t change a thing. Don’t get your hopes up.” With that, the white pony floated back up into the portal, leaving Fluttershy alone.

Sweat was gathered on the back of Fluttershy’s neck, and her heart was pounding so hard she was worried it might explode, but she knew she’d done what needed to be done, albeit late.

Left alone with her own thoughts, Fluttershy began to imagine going back to her friends, telling them that she didn’t have to leave after all, getting to see the smiles on their faces again…she began to think about Angel, about cuddling him against her, giving him little kisses between the ears, when he allowed it. A small smile crossed the pegasus’ face—Pinkie would want to have a party for her, no doubt.

And, of course, there would be animals to tend that she hadn’t tended in the last three days. That was important, to be sure. The poor little bunnies with broken legs, the deer with aching backs, the bears with thorns in their paws…Fluttershy pledged that when she got back to normal, she’d help the animals twice as much, and make sure every one of them walked away happy, healthy and, most importantly, alive.

Again her thoughts were cut short when Blanche floated back through the portal, a grim look on his face—surely he’d been told off by the powers-that-be and had been forced to rescind his choice. Fluttershy’s famous glare had never failed before! Blanche stood there for several moments, glaring daggers at Fluttershy, before he finally cleared his throat and spoke. Fluttershy’s heart pounded in her chest, and the minutes seemed to pass like days.

“No dice.”

Fluttershy’s mouth hung open unconsciously—no dice!? But…but that wasn’t fair! She’d thought that, if anything, the powers in the Ever could help her! How could they have said no?! Blanch had already admitted that he’d gotten chewed out for what had happened! How…hot tears began to well up in Fluttershy’s eyes. How could they say no?

Blanche sighed and shook his head. “Listen, I know you were probably getting hopeful and everything, on top of hot-blooded, but…” he looked down for an instant, “you have to remember that you’re dealing with the most significant powers in the universe here, alright? They’re, well…not exactly the easiest to convince, no matter how good your case is.”

When Fluttershy didn’t respond, her head hanging limply against her chest, Blanche continued. “I asked them as sincerely as I could. They chewed me out again, but otherwise…they said my decision was final, just like I told you.” He paused a few moments, as if unsure of what to do or say, and finally said softly, “…I’m sorry. I tried.”

“But…” came Fluttershy’s voice, sounding far-away and very small, “…all I want is to be with my friends again…I just want to see Angel again…is that too much to ask?”

Blanche bit his lip. “…no…” he said, “...not at all.” He took a deep breath. “Fluttershy, what you want, er…” the words came out awkwardly, as though Blanche’s tongue was knotted, “It’s reasonable, okay? It’s the same as I wanted. But…oh Celestia, how can I say this?” He swallowed.

“The Ever, as I understand it so far, well…it’s more a force of nature than anything. The things that it says, the things that it does…the decisions it makes…even the souls housed inside…they’re impossible to fight. I know it was me that made the final decision, and it was my mistake not to bounce the idea off you first, try to convince you, but I can’t change what I’ve done any more than you can.

“I can go back up and beg for you as many times as you ask me to—as your predecessor, I am, in a way, at your beck-and-call—but it’s not going to change anything. I…I’m sorry this happened to you, I am, but trust me, I picked you for a reason. I picked you…” he shook his head. “I can’t say why, not yet, but rest assured, as little comfort as it might offer, I picked you for good reason, and now that decision is made, well…there’s no fighting it. The Ever is a greater power than either of us, by a long chalk. Trying it would be like fighting fate.”

Fluttershy sobbed, looking up at Blanche. “But…if the Ever is supposed to be, well…good and everything…”

The white pony shook his head. “The Ever is good,” he said, “but nopony ever said it was fair all the time. I can’t speak from its perspective, but…I can’t imagine that running everything, absolutely everything, is an easy job. Some things have to bend every now and again.”

When it became clear that Fluttershy wasn’t going to engage him further, Blanche tried to force a smile. “Fluttershy, you’ll…I promise you’ll grow into it. That’s all I can promise, but…you will. There’ll be tears, trust me, and a lot of anguish, and a lot of hating yourself, but eventually…you kinda get used to it.” Fluttershy twitched at that, and Blanche floated up towards the Ever.

“…it’ll be okay,” he said, awkwardly as ever, and floated away, leaving the pegasus alone once again.

Haltingly, Fluttershy picked up her list, the motion making her weary body ache, and looked it over. Old Bones, Crazy Legs, Blue Mountain, Pale Horse…they weren’t any ponies she recognized, but Fluttershy figured that was more because of the Ever than luck.

The pegasus knew she couldn’t lay around crying forever—her eyes were already raw, red and puffy, and besides, she just didn’t have it in her to cry anymore. Nothing was going to change, that much was very clear now, and moping around, well…it wasn’t going to change The Ever’s mind, whatever it was.

Crumpling the list in her hoof, Fluttershy stuffed it into the pocket of her robes, drew her hood over her face, and opened the door to her hallway. She took one last look back at her room, knowing this would be the last time she would see it like this. Giving a long, drawn-out sigh, Fluttershy closed the door, feeling like she was shutting the last of her hope inside.