"What in the hay is goin' on here!"

"Greetings, young mare! You seem familiar. Have we met?"

"Yeah," replied Applejack with a sharpness in her voice, "you threatened to throw our family operation out of business, then came back later and made our granny think she could do anythin' without consequence, and now, you're back agin' to wreak havoc with who knows what!"  

The Flim Flam brothers, Applejack's mortal enemies. The literal, opposite embodiment of the element of harmony that she represented. Cats and dogs, rain and sunshine, apples and oranges. They had no redeeming qualities, and no sense of honesty or ethical business ventures. Nothing. These two were everything Applejack stood against, and here they stood back in the country surrounding Ponyville. The nerve!

"Oh, how could we forget Applejack," said Flam whimsically, "we may have done some things we're not proud of in the past, but we're reformed business ponies. We've changed, you see?"

"And we've got the documentation to prove it," Flim added and pulled out a piece of paper with incredibly small font, giving Applejack all of two seconds to read it before stashing it back away into a briefcase. "A permit!" he exclaimed enthusiastically. "It grants us full control over the construction of our new business here in Ponyville."

"That's right, it's official--"

"Not artificial!"

"Or superficial"

"Hogwash," Applejack retorted. "Let me read that."

Flim took out the permit once more and handed it to Applejack.

By the accordance of Ponyville law, Flimley T. and Flamrey T. are given exclusive rights to construct and run a for-profit stall business in Ponyville to be located in the Horseshoe District. In accordance to Law #9453...

The next several paragraphs were riddled with confusing legal terms that Applejack had trouble comprehending.

"What kind of business you fixin' to make?" Applejack asked quizzically.

"Well, we could spell it out for you in boring legal terms," replied Flam.

"Or," added Flim, "we could provide a showtune for everypony to enjoy!"

Oh, great, thought Applejack as the upbeat sounds of a showtune began to play from a pony holding a massive instrument of all different shapes and sizes. Ponies from around the surrounding area began to group together at the rare and interesting nature of the event unfolding on the otherwise uninteresting street.

"You hired somepony to play your own theme music?" Applejack said with a raised eyebrow.

To enjoy this section of the story, please begin by playing the video and reading along to the words below

Flam's voice will be in Red

Flim's voice will be in Yellow

Applejack's voice will be in Orange

(Levels of enjoyment may vary)

We've all got problems, dont you see?

They taunt us without remedy!

If only there could be a way

To make them all go right away?

We've got that answer, just you wait

And priced, of course, at the proper rate!

We're here to help you, if you want

So please hold back your retorts and taunts!

Presenting live for all to see,

Is the Flim Flam patented XYZ!

What does this mean, what does it do?

A tasteful question, that's sure true

A better question asked might ought

What does it that it cannot?

Oddly phrased, my brother Flim,

But your point is nicely made pro quim

Let's tell them all just what it does!

(break)

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(break)

Let's get ourselves a volunteer

You'll do just fine, my orange dear!

I'd rather not be part of this

On account I think yer full a' piss!

My, what tasteful words you use

And what a temper and short fuse!

I've had enough of this here show,

Now let me down, and let me go!

But everypony's waiting now,

For us to show you, and to wow!

Just turn this music off, I've given you warns

Mess with the bull, and you get the horns!

STOP THE VIDEO!! (and imagine the instruments clamoring to a halt)