After hearing the raspy, depressed sounding voice call out her name from a short distance away, Celestia pupils shrank to the size of pin pricks despite it being the dead of night. Quickly, her heart started to pound so hard that she could feel it beating in her ears. It was that voice. After hours of listening to the recording that started the whole mission and the very reason she was there in the first place, she had the exact sound of it burned into her mind and she was now hearing it right from the source's mouth. The creature even knew her name. There was no possible way that it could have been anypony else but that of the long lost Doctor Radius Circumfrancis Hoofenschtov.

"R-Radius?" Celestia called out as her heart began to beat faster. "Is that...is that you?"

The voice did not answer right away and the longer it took, the more agonizing the wait became for the Princess. Finally, after pausing for nearly an entire minute, Radius answered, bringing true closure to his former lover and at long last putting an end to her wondering.

"Yes..." Radius whimpered, revealing his location. "Yes it's...it's me."

Just when she thought her pulse could go no higher, Celestia heart reached a point to where it nearly sounded like it was humming much like the engine of Denys's bus. Judging by the direction of which his voice came from, she could tell that he was just around the corner of a small maintenance shed to her left near the bank of the cooling pond. To think that after thirty years of believing he was dead, later finding out that he could still be alive was certainly a lot to take in but now, he was standing behind a small brick building a mere fifty feet away from her.

For nearly two minutes, Celestia just stood there wide eyed with her pin-sized pupils as the very concept of what was happening was almost enough to make her faint. Finally, she slowly started taking steps towards the direction of Radius's voice. As she very slowly made her way closer and closer, her mind started to race, she began to sweat and she simply could not get a word out of her mouth. Finally, Radius spoke again and what he said was the last thing he expected or ever wanted to hear from him.

"Wait! Don't come any closer!" Radius called over as he heard Celestia's hoofsteps approaching, a mere twenty five feet away from the shed he hid behind.

"What? Why?" Celestia asked, her voice trembling. "Radius, please come out. I just...please, I want to see you."

"Trust me, you don't! I've changed, Celestia. I'm not the same guy I was before."

"I know, but I don't care what you look like! Nopony does! It's not your fault! Please, just let me see you!"

There was a pause for several seconds and just before Celestia could open her mouth to speak again, she could hear the first tap of one hoof being put in front of the other. Between each tap, there was a few seconds pause as Radius was putting forth all the courage he could muster to bring himself forward and face the one he planned on proposing to all those years ago. The closer he came to the corner of the small structure, the brighter the glow appeared to Celestia as he was now so close to revealing himself until he stopped. With her heart still racing and her eyes wide with anticipation, the mere few seconds she stood there waiting for Radius to show himself seemed like ages. She had done her fair share of waiting for long periods of time for a loved one to return but this nearly proved to be too much for the Princess to handle until finally, a large, glowing hoof attached to a long and powerful leg stepped out.

First came his hoof and then his face soon after. Slowly, Radius stepped out from the cover of the other side of the small supply shed with his head hung low and his ears folded back. The look on his face was the one of the saddest things the Princess had ever laid eyes on, much resembling that of a tired, old, suffering dog begging his master for a bullet to the back of his head. The sudden realization was finally hitting Celestia and her heart skipped a beat at the very fact that she was now face to face with what was once the Stallion she fell in love with before his alleged death.

Princess Celestia knew that he would look much different than how she remembered him but what she saw was like nothing she could have ever imagined before. The charming gentlecolt who once stood just over half her height was now at eye level with her and the two smaller legs that could be seen folded behind his front legs were simply painful to so much as look at. Even the eyes of the creature she looked into had changed into something a nocturnal predator would have and the large, sharp fangs glistening in the light of his glow made it clear that he could no longer be sustained by a herbivorous diet. The only things that had not changed about him were his glasses, his cutie mark, and his appreciation for collars and bow ties.

"Radius..." Celestia whimpered as she became weak in the knees. "It's you...it's really you."

"It's...been a while hasn't it?" Radius asked casually as he lifted his head up to look Celestia in the eyes. "Hey...you haven't aged a bit. I've thought about you from time to time."

Celestia had often wondered what her reunion with Radius would be like or if she would even have the same feelings she had for him before. As she looked into the cold, lifeless eyes of the creature she once fell in love with, she wondered no more. Celestia did not care what he looked like as she was never superficial and though she still cared for him as one of her subjects in need of help, the love she had for him before was simply not there. Though she was ecstatic that he was still alive, she no longer felt the same pull when she started courting him over thirty years ago.

The very same could be said for Radius as he too no longer felt as he once did towards the Princess that stood before him. It would have been quite difficult for either of them to explain but there was simply no sign of that spark that started their flame that had long fizzled out. Be it because of his numbness brought by his constant torment and misery or the fact that they were apart for so long, the love the two ponies once had for each other was just no longer there. Regardless however, Celestia was still determined to do what she came to do and bring an end to Radius's thirty year nightmare. What weighed on her most heavily however was the fact that he had needlessly spent the last three decades living in chernobyl to begin with when he could have otherwise gone home to be with his loving family.

"Oh, Radius..." Celestia whimpered as tears began to run down her cheeks. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry you had to *hic* I didn't..."

"For what?" Radius asked, perplexed.

"If only I'd have known you were still alive all this time! I could have brought you home sooner and you wouldn't have had to go through all of this! Oh, fuck, I can't believe we just...left you here like this, I'm so *sniff* so sorry!"

Celestia then took a couple steps towards Radius, causing the latter to step back.

"You were such a sweet guy!" Celestia sobbed. "You didn't deserve any of this!"

"Celestia don't...you can't come any closer."

"R-Radius, we're here to bring you back home! We can fix this and give you your life back!"

"I only sent that signal so soldiers would come in and look for me. My plan was to run after them and have them shoot me! I'm sorry you have to hear this but death is my only way out of this!"

"But we're all here now! I don't want to see you have to live here any longer! Please, just come home with us!"

"I know you'd never understand but I can't! And you gotta back away from me, don't take another step!"

"But why!? Radius we can hel-"

"BECAUSE I'M DANGEROUS!!!"

The words that Radius shouted echoed through the paved lot he and Celestia stood in. The Princess's heart sank at Radius's all out lack of any kind of hope for himself but knew she had to stand her ground if she was to give him the help he needed and life back home that he so badly deserved. What he did not deserve was to be left here to suffer from his painful mutations all alone and the need to constantly poison his body in order to keep what little sanity he had left and a deadly entity at bay. Celestia refused to back down and take no for an answer as the fact repeated through her mind over and over again. Radius Hoofenshtov did not deserve what had happened to him.

"Radius." Celestia said more calmly as she knew she had to keep herself together. "I understand that you feel terrible about what you...tried to do to Rainbow Dash and Shining Armor but-"

"Rainbow Dash!" Radius gasped. "Oh my god, is she okay!? Did I end up...d-did i actually...rape her?"

"No, you didn't and yes, she's doing fine."

Upon hearing some of the best news in years, Radius had a huge sigh of relief after finding out that Shining Armor had laid the metal pipe across his head before it was too late. As glad that he was that the first pony he had talked to in so long had not suffered extensive injury or trauma, still it did nothing to make him feel any better about himself. He knew that whatever it was that took his mind and body over would have gladly taken its opportunity to have very violent sex with Rainbow Dash before tearing off her limbs off and entrails out if it weren't for the brave act of the previously unconscious stallion.

"Celestia, if you have time to hear me out..." Radius began. "You'll understand why I can't come back."

"O-okay. Celestia whimpered.

"This...isn't the first time this has happened. I've done so many sick, fucked up things to innocent creatures in my time here. I've ripped the limbs off rabbits and frogs just to save them as a snack for later...I've massacred entire families of rodents...Celestia, I'm nothing but a killer now."

"I-I just...Radius, I never knew it was this bad...I don't...I don't know what to say."

"There's nothing else to say. The sweet, lovable geek I was is gone and he's never coming back."

"Wait a minute! You saved Big Mac and A.K. Yearling at the cooling pond, then you saved Rainbow Dash and Shining Armor from more of those wolves...and you think you're the monster here?! I don't get it! There's got to be something else going on that we're missing or you're just not telling us something!"

Celestia then took another few steps towards Radius weather he wanted her to or not.

"Well...a few good deeds don't erase a million bad ones." Radius answered.

"And that right there! You told me not to come near you! Why?" Celestia asked

"I already told you, because any second, I could go crazy and try to kill y-"

"Because you care, Radius! That's also the reason you hid from us all this time, isn't it!? Because you wanted to protect everypony from your own self!"

Again, Celestia took a few more steps towards Radius who was now seriously pondering the point that the former was trying to make. After a brief pause, she took a few more until she was now standing just a mere ten feet away from him. For several seconds, the two stood face to face and as Celestia noticed the mutated pony calming down and the hairs on his coat laying back down she finally took the last few steps towards him until they were now four feet apart.

"Radius?" Celestia said as she looked into the eyes of the ailing stallion who so badly doubted himself.

"Yeah?" Radius asked.

"Let me tell you something. Alright?"

"Sure."

"You...are not...evil. You are now, always have been, and always will be good."

"But I think I might hav-"

"Radius, goddamnit listen to me! Even Rainbow Dash understands!"

"She...she does?"

"She knows that it wasn't really, actually you that attacked her. Like, she said that your personality took a one-eighty and you became a whole different pony."

Radius took a moment to ponder what Celestia had just told him and he was indeed quite surprised by the information she shared with him. He was incredibly relieved that Rainbow Dash was for the most part unharmed and that he failed to penetrate her which he felt would have topped the worst thing he had ever done before. Still, there existed a bigger problem and being uncertain of what actually occurred pertaining to the issue only made Radius more sure that there would never be a home or life for him outside the exclusion zone for the rest of his days. As much as it pained him to do so, he felt that he just had to tell somepony and Celestia was the nearest one to talk to.

"Well, that's a bit...odd that she doesn't want me lynched..." Radius began. "But since you're here, I guess now is as good a time as any to tell you about the biggest problem we have here."

"And what's that?" Celestia asked.

"So, look, I don't really remember exactly what happens when I go all bat shit but...I...I'm not sure I did it or not but...I might be the one who...killed those construction workers."

"What? No, that can't be tr-...you wouldn't do such a thing."

"Goddamnit, Celestia, just let it go! I've torn all kinds of creatures apart, tried to rape and kill two fellow ponies and it's starting to look like I desecrated three humans! Look, I've got this...I-I don't what to call it, like some kind of alternate mindset that split off from my own!"

"Wow, that...that's a problem, Radius."

"No shit. Wow, I don't really like the idea of these being my last words to you but I thought I remembered you being a lot smarter than that."

Though she was no longer in love with him as before and she was well aware that the lack thereof was mutual on Radius's part, Celestia was emotionally crushed by what he had just said to her. The more she thought about it, the more she realized that he really had truly changed and not for the better. On the other hoof, the very idea of leaving this brave, selfless hero behind to suffer in solitude began to make her physically sick to her stomach, regardless of any misdeeds while undergoing his radiation withdrawal. Still though, neither of them were absolutely sure that Radius was responsible for the deaths of the missing workers but nevertheless, it was not looking good.

After pausing for a moment and regretting having just insulted the now sobbing Celestia, Radius slowly turned around and began trotting away. He knew he could not take back what he said which he felt would be the last thing he ever said to her but it was too early yet too late at the same time. Though the bitter words he had uttered left a matching taste in his mouth, he said what he said to convince Celestia that he was beyond help and coming to the exclusion zone with any intention other than ending his life was a waste of time. Just before he disappeared into the brush, he turned around and faced Celestia one last time to offer his very last words to her before they would part ways.

"Go home, Celestia." Radius said as a single tear rolled down his cheek. "Go home and just live your life. Just...be happy...and try to forget about me, okay?"

With that, Radius turned back around and trotted off into the night leaving Celestia behind to choke on her tears. Though he seemed to have had no trouble basically telling Celestia to forget everything they ever had in the past or the mere fact that he ever existed, Radius too began to weep as his trot turned into a gallop. He had been through many hard fights over the years and faced countless difficult decisions but telling his former flame that she needed to just let him go and leave him to die weighed more heavily on his heart than anything ever before.

Celestia just stood there with her head hung low and she truly had not felt so depressed in centuries. She felt regret over the fact that such a wonderful pony's life was ruined and wasted. She felt that awful pain in her heart over how worthless he thought he was as a living being even after several good deeds. Worst of all, her heart ached so badly over the fact that there seemed to be no way of helping him and that Radius had mentioned his only way to be set free was to die. If she ever needed moral support before, she needed it now more than ever. Fortunately for her however, a couple pairs of helping hands would end up being closer than she would have previously thought.

"Princess?" A familiar male voice called over followed by the bright shine of a flashlight.

"We heard the whole thing." Said another as two bipedal figures slowly walked towards the weeping alicorn.

Author's Notes:

I'd like to wish everyone out there a Merry Christmas, Happy Hanukkah, and a Joyous Kwanzaa! May this sloppily put together chapter of this mediocre story be today's gift to you all.