Celestia Does Stuff in Ponyville While Other Things Happen Elsewhere

by Billblok

First published 2nd of March, 2016

An episodical tale of Celestia's vacation in Ponyville while the country tries to fall appart without her.

Things just never seem to settle down for the fair sun princess; even when she intends to make way for things to settle down. Despite three separate princesses and one princess in training, there’s always something that seems to come back to bite her in the but. First it was her previous student showing up with a despicably large superiority complex. Then it was Chrysalis’ threats not being quite as empty as she thought, as she happened to say hello to her sister. Couple those things with the perpetual worry that something else could crawl out of the woodwork, and you’ve got a recipe for a vacation that Celestia is trying really hard--and half failing-- to enjoy.

Will Equestria survive without Celestia? Will she ever find out who her granddaughter is? Will Equestria be able to hold back Cocoon’s attempt at an invasion? Will Tartarus stay locked up long enough for there to be relative peace? Will her old student ever get her slice of humble pie? Probably, but Celestia really doesn’t want to get involved. She’s intent on enjoying her vacation… Even if it kills her.

A story with many different settings that occasionally converge with each other.

Tags will be updated over the story's progression. Cover image will be removed upon artist request.

There are more characters than the character tag will allow, hence the "other" tag.

Ponyville 1: Re-Enrolling a New Student

It was a peaceful early autumn night. Though the Golden Oaks Library was more crowded than it ever usually was, it was nonetheless quiet.

Celestia was enjoying some well deserved rest after a very long forty eight hours. Much had happened in so little time. She recalled how scared her little ponies were, so she enlisted help from Twilight and her friends. Twilight had called her out on a silly plan in hindsight, and she let them take control of the situation. Then it turned out that Chrysalis of all people captured a group of schoolchildren, and she was using her children as leverage against her, without them knowing what they were part of prior. Celestia had exploded at her, effectively declared herself as a goddess, and then had to be pony piled before she would finally calm down. All this had worsened her image with the public (or bettered, depending on who blindly worshipped her or not), so she decided to lay low, but not before Twilight rebuked her thoroughly for her loss of temper, and Luna for making a bad deal with Chrysalis, which they were now bound to just to make sure there was a better image of ponies in general in the eyes of the queen’s nymphs.

Said nymphs were sleeping soundly in the same library as Twilight, her friends and the schoolfoals and teacher were. Queen chrysalis had been left behind for some proper training about how to be a ruler. The nymphs didn’t want anything to do with her, so now they were here. It was all a painful experience for everypony involved, but things were looking up now.

Alas, with a super secret mirror which may or may not lead to another world in the middle of a group of sleeping ponies, it was not meant to last...

A plan. Sunset Shimmer had a brilliant plan. Granted, all of her plans were brilliant, being a student-- sorry, ex student of Princess Celestia.

“Seriously, is this what you dragged us out to? To watch Sandra of all people?!” A rainbow-haired girl griped.

It was really quite simple this plan; it just took a long time to execute. But Sunset was no stranger of the waiting game. Goodness knows that Sunbutt enjoyed playing it when it came to making her a princess.

“Oh relax dear,” A snow white girl chided. “we may not get along, but if Diane of all people has a hunch that something’s up, I’m sure we can all agree that whatever’s wrong needs to be seen.”

“But she’s really bad news, Rarity! The only reason she hasn’t been reported for her freaky crystal crap is because none of us can even touch her. Fluttershy got a black eye just from being there when she was ‘scheming’ to herself! With a psychic laser blast!”

Sunset examined one of the charged gemstones she had brought along with her into this world. Truly, it was one of her most clever schemes. She cooked it up two years into her escape from the palace of Canterlot, into the city of Canterlot. This world had no ambient magic, but when she had went through, she’d remembered that she had a very small reserve of magic, and nopony-- No, No one else did. She figured that she could sneak back through the portal when it opened back up, find something infused with that magic and give herself an edge that these humans didn’t have. What do you know, She grabbed a few piles of gemstones from the royal treasury, took them back with her, and they kept the magic inside them for her use. Now she just had to get the school staff to see reason…

Fluttershy, the nervous yellow skinned girl with pink hair, crouched behind Rarity. “Just yesterday she stuffed me into a locker and put a padlock on it so I was late for every class… Grandma was the only one who found me.”

“Yeah, here’s a question: of all the people who could work in the school, how could she be your grandma? ‘Cuz I don’t see the resemblance.”

“It’s… complicated, Dash.”

“It’s Rainbow.”

“Oh, sorry...”

See, Sunset had been in this primitive school for quite a while. She’d gotten to know how the system worked; but not only that, her regular periods of time in Equestria recharging the magic gems she’d drain every thirty months allowed her to keep notice on things she could use.

“My point is, Pinkie had better have some brilliant idea to put an end to Sunset’s bullying, and this.” Raimona pointed at her neck, which had some strange symbol glowing on it. The others had similar symbols. “I freaking clam up when I try to say anything bad mouthing her, and I’d do anything to stop it.”

“Do ya reckon it’s enough for us ta’ be friends again?” An orange skinned, blond haired girl asked with dripping sarcasm.

“Not a chance, Applejack.”

“Girls, be quiet!” Pinkie hissed, clamping a pink hand over the girls’ mouths.

It was only this recent cycle of the portal opening that enlightened her to the news that Celestia did in fact take on a new student; one who was even the bearer of the Element of magic! It was even at the time for the princess summit! And not only that, Princess Twilight was using it as her crown, making it easy pickings tonight! It was truly a fortunate evening to be Sunset Shimmer. Of course, it was all thanks to her brilliant knowledge as well. Sunset smiled, snickering at a little thought going through her head. “Just one little tiara, and this planet’s mine… and nothing to get in my way before I step through again… Hee, this is such a good day to be Sunset Shimmer, Queen of Equestria...”

Fluttershy whimpered. “R-rachel, is she… laughing?”

“I hear it Flutters...”

“She’s talkin’ about ruling the planet, or somethin’,” Applejack scowled. “What would give Sunsest that idea?”

“Well duh, she’s crazy! Everyone knows that! Except you, apparently.”

“Ah don’t need yer lip, Dash.”

“It’s Rainbow,” Rainbow Dash snarked back.

“Girls!” Pinkie snarled. “Shut up! Do you want her to hear us?!”

“Oh, I’m afraid you’re far too late for that.” Sunset turned around, flashing a mad smile. Her little stalkers gasped in fear. “I was listening the whole time.” She casually tossed one of her gemstones in the air, catching it again. “Between you and I, I think you need some practice whispering. Oh wait!” She clamped her hand over her mouth in mock horror. “You can’t whisper!”

“And just whose fault is that?!” Rainbow growled.

“Oh do I ever feel sorry about it!” She wiped non existent tears from her eyes. “I couldn’t have you conspiring against me while I conquer worlds! You poor things with your hero complexes, somepony really should keep tabs on you all! Can you ever forgive me ruining your fun?”

“Shut up you little--”

Sunset squeezed the gem in her hand, watching in amusement as her glowing hand stopped Rainbow right in the middle of her punch. “Ah ah ah, I wouldn’t do that if I were you! Wouldn’t want to hurt your pretty face and lose your chances at getting any relationships!”

“Yeah? how’s that workin’ out with you an’ Flash?” Jaqueline cut in.

“Flash may have been a companion for a while, but he turned into a liability.” Sunset crossed her arms. “He didn’t like what I was doing, so I dumped him.”

“Sure, you dumped him did ya? ‘Cuz ah’m pretty sure he dumped ya right in the middle of the cafeteria, and y’all ran off--” A bolt of magic shot by right next to her ear, making Jackie flinch.

“You are not in a position to make fun of me, Jacqueline. I don’t just have physical power, I’ve got leverage. I know who your little sister is.”

“You hurt Apple Bloon, and ah swear ah’ll--” Suddenly, the ground fell from beneath the farmgirl as she was lifted up in Sunset’s magic.

“Oh don’t worry yourself over that, Jaqueline; I’m not going to hurt her, provided you behave...” Sunset didn’t have much magic left in that gemstone, but it didn’t matter; she was going to go through the portal anyway, so why not have some fun? Their desperate struggles as they were lifted in the air were quite amusing. “When I come back through this portal… I will have a crown on my head, and you will kneel on the floor and grovel!”

“Over… My dead… Body…!” Rainbow struggled to get the words out, as she was holding them all by their necks.

“Insolent little welp, you’ll need far more than a fiery spirit to stop me!” Sunset snapped back. “I will return with the element of magic, force my will upon the whole bloody student body, imbue each and every one of them with my magical knowledge, that I may lead an army upon this city, usurping its council, marching along the country in a path of conquest until I have brought the capital to its knees, killed your “president”, and secured my rulership as queen of New Equestria!” Sunset tightened her magical grip. “And what will I do next? I will make you suffer, and watch as I. Destroy. Everything!!”

Sunset may or may not have laughed like a maniac schoolgirl. It may have been excessive to reveal her whole “evil plan”, But with how amazing she was, she certainly deserved to indulge herself. Besides, if she didn’t share her brilliant ideas, who would be there to hear them? Now she only needed to make sure they wouldn’t follow her through the portal to stop her.

“She’s… She’s absolutely nuts!” Rainbow squeaked out.

“G-got any other intelligent observations there, Dash?”

“Not a good time for your--” Rainbow’s throat closed up in the magic grip that suspended her.

“Oh, and by the way? That little hateship you all have with each other was my doing. Little lies in forged handwriting do such wonders to break apart friends that could very well have been representatives of harmony. Such a shame that you won’t be able to hug and make up, Because you are going to the hospital with a bad case of ‘paralyzed from the neck down’.” Sunset tightened her grip even further, watching as they all slowly turned as blue as their Rainbow Maned friend. There was a bike rack nearby, perfect for accomplishing her task. “Just one little carefully aimed toss, and it would be all over the news in the morning; you’ll see!” Sunset pulled her arm back, willing the gem in her hand to obey her command…

Nothing happened. Five girls fell to the ground, gasping and choking for air. What happened? Sunset checked the gemstone in her hand. The emerald had lost its glow. She looked at her bag. None of the other gems had any glow either. Yup, all the magic was gone, and with that so to were the wards that she put on herself and those high schoolers. Sunset gaped at the gems, then at her classmates and back at the gems. As five girls stood up, Sunset felt rather hot in her black leather jacket.

She nervously chuckled, pulling at the edge of her collar. “Girls, this is all just a big misunderstanding, right?”

Five girls glared.

“...Right? Girls…?”

Five girls still glared. Pinkie grit her teeth.

Sunset’s grin faltered, replaced by shakey knees. “G-girls, don’t you think that retribution would not be a very g-good idea…?” Five girls stepped forward, Sunset stepped back. “O-okay, I can see where you might th-think so, but it wouldn’t be nice… right? Florence… Flo, y-you’re with me, right?”

Despite the tears streaking down her face, Fluttershy had a look that could kill. The girls stepped forward. Sunset stepped back again.

“G-girls… J-just a sh-sh-shred of m-mercy, y-yeah? I-I mean, I’m not some sort of cause to unite against, r-right? P-please don’t hurt me...”

“Ah don’t know; Rainbow, do ya think we’ll get along after this?” Applejack asked Rainbow with a sinister grin.

“Only if I can get my hands on her ugly jacket,” Rainbow replied.

“Deal.”

“Oh no,” Sunset squeaked. Five girls shot at her in a dead sprint.

“I’ll destroy you!!” Rarity snarled.

“You horrible, horrible puppy kicker!” Fluttershy cried.

“Y’all better run! If Ah catch ya, Ah’m gonna feed ya to the pigs!”

“Not if I get to her first!!” Rainbow added. Pinkie had spoke nothing, seemingly changed into a different person; with flat locks of hair and a sharp knife in her hand that wasn’t quite explainable where it came from.

Sunset did the only thing she could. She ran in terror, tripping over her bag of gems and tumbling through the portal in the side of the statue, giving chase across the dimensions. It was not a good evening to be Sunset Shimmer.

Whether Princess Celestia was enjoying the comfort of her bed within Twilight’s bedroom or not remained to be certain, as the pretty pink-haired princess was not exactly awake to give an informed opinion on the matter. One could assume that she was comfortable, considering that she was curled up in a protective cocoon of blankets; but to tell the truth, the only thing one could conclude was that she wasn’t snoring. The only thing that was visible was her muzzle resting on a pillow in her silent slumber.

But that was not to last, for sometime past midnight when nopony should have been awake at the time, a truly horrendous crash reverberated through the tree house. Celestia jumped, startled awake most unpleasantly. “What--What the hay…?!”

The commotion continued, and Celestia decided that once she heard that screaming, she should probably get up and deal with the issue. So in her haste, she leapt out of her bed, elegantly worming her way out the the blanket cocoon, and flapped her wings in tandem with her strides to make her journey down the stairs that much swifter. When she made it downstairs, what she saw was truly something to behold. Down in the main floor of the library, a war had broken out between five ponies who were trying to stand on their back hooves and one unicorn with an extremely nasty sort of magic.

“Oh, why did she have to show up now??” Celestia despaired.

Sunset Shimmer was a mare with a particular set of skills. Such skills which gave her an edge in battle with her adversaries, skills which would make ponies like her a nightmare to ponies like her enemies-- which if she were honest to herself were the only reason that she was actually alive at the moment. The moment she tumbled out of that portal, she crashed into a bookshelf of all things. When she had gotten her bearings, her pursuers had already bolted through after her, shouting all sorts of bad names, demanding that she show herself. Sunset, smart as she was, did so under cover of books with a flare of her horn, starting a cycle of magic she so elegantly called “equivalent exchange.”

The room fell into a darkness so thick, no pony could even see their hooves in front of their faces. Then sunset fired out a gleaming, burning silver beam from her horn made out of the moonlight she gathered from her darkness spell, which barely nicked Rarity’s hair.

“Bullcrap,” she hissed, feeling the burn of hot magic from her horn. With all eyes on her, some in terror and other in aggression, she barely managed to avoid Pinkie with her wicked right hook before firing off another shot, this one releasing the heat from her horn in a burst of fire.

“Holy crap!!” Rainbow shrieked, “She doesn’t have her gems, how is she using her psychic powers?!”

“Because we’re in my home turf now sweetheart!” Sunset shot back. “I don’t need any gems when there’s magic literally everywhere in this world!” With the chill gathered in her horn, Sunset knew the next step, charging up for another shot that would hopefully freeze Pinkie in her tracks in the literal sense. However, Rarity had snuck in behind her, and she had to use the negative energy to erect a hard icy shield, blocking her savage kick. The pale white girl had no idea of her earth pony strength, so it was fortune that made the shield instead of break under the force simply form a web of cracks.

In a cocky grin, Sunset casually broke the shield the rest of the way, touching Rarity’s nose with her own. “Missed me, darling.” She felt the energy of Rarity’s kick resonating through her horn. Of all the little parts of equivalent exchange, kinetic energy was her favorite to use, because she could channel it just about anywhere.

“Oh dear,” Rarity squeaked. Sunset breathed in deeply, Letting loose a noise so loud, it was more like a shockwave and couldn’t be properly understood as a clear word. (1) She watched with satisfaction as the white earth pony smashed hard into the wall, falling flat on the floor, dead unconscious. Sunset smiled. One down, four to go. Sunset turned around to face the rest of the group that chased after her… and came face to face with Rarity… again. This time with a horn apparently.

“Okay, how did you get a horn?”

Horned-Rarity snarled. “We were here the whole time, and you’re destroying my best friend’s house!!”

Sunset was legitimately confused. “...And how does that relate to you getting a horn? I mean, it’s really a good choice to be born a unicorn, but--”

“‘A good choice’??”

“Well yeah, unicorns are obviously superior to the other pony races with their magic and stuff.”

Apparently she said something wrong, because horned-Rarity shot a blast of magic at her face. It hurt, but the release of kinetic energy left a void of what could be described as “non-kinetics”, allowing that magic to not break her nose and simply pass through her harmlessly as electricity. Nevertheless, she flinched, wiping her nose. “That… was your last free shot.” She charged up her her horn with electricity, ready to clobber Rarity a second time.

Unfortunately, a rare case of foolishness demonstrated that Sunset didn’t take enough time to focus on just who was where, and what they were doing.

A pair of pink ponies tackled her to the ground. Her electrical magic shot harmlessly into the ceiling. Somepony shouted “NOW!!” and a great weight fell upon her, rendering any opportunity to cast spells impossible.

“Get off me!! I am the future crown princess of Equestria!” Sunset thrashed underneath the pile of ponies. “The very ground I step upon is not worthy of touching my hooves!! How dare you pile on me like this!!”

“You know, this is kinda my home, right? And you’re sort of intruding,” An unfamiliar voice replied calmly.

“I will own every square inch of this country, you own nothing!!”

A purple hoof came into view. She recognized that purple hoof. Sunset looked up, straining to arch her neck beneath the heavy weight. Sunset knew immediately from the wings and horn on said purple pony.

“Princess Twilight, I presume?” She growled.

Twilight casually waved back, smiling with unreasonable enthusiasm. “Hi! That’s indeed my name! And you are?”

“Going to rip your pretty little wings off your back… and bucking eat them.”

Twilight flinched back. “Yikes; what’s your problem?”

“Eat them!!” Sunset flailed her hooves.

“She’s off her rocker, that’s what,” Applejack said, fluttering her wings.

“Eyyup,” Applejack agreed.

“Oh great, there are two of them as well?!” Sunset fumed. “Maybe I’ll just eat that one’s wings too! Then I’ll be a double alicorn and kick all your fat butts!!”

“For pete’s sake, somepony just shut her up!!” One Rainbow shouted.

“MAKE ME!!” Sunset bellowed. “YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!!”

“Oh my gosh she’s scaring me...” One Fluttershy whimpered.

“You should be ashamed!” A Pinkie scolded her. “My daddy would have paddled you if you were his daughter!”

“Shut up!” Sunset hollered.

“No, you shut up!” The other Pinkie parroted

“I refuse!!”

“You shut up right now or I’ll be very cross!”

“Make me!!”

“Alright, this has gone on LONG ENOUGH,” A distinctly authoritative voice sounded out somewhere to sunset’s left. All ponies turned to see who was talking. “Just what is going on here? Right now I see two Pinkie pies, two Rainbow Dashes, Two Fluttershys, two Applejacks and two Raritys.” As she descended down the stairs, Sunset wilted. “And I see according to Twilight... there is an intruder in the library, and I’m rather cross at that intruder.”

Sunset, as incredible and intelligent as she was, was rather starting to regret her life choices, and was shaking like a leaf. “No, nono it can’t be… It can’t be; you can’t be here of all places… I-I timed my arrival perfectly to get the element of magic, how could you be here Sunbutt??”

Celestia quirked an eyebrow, clearly unamused by her creative nickname. “That’s not an alias I’m familiar with, Sunset.”

“H-how?!”

“Sunset Shimmer… my least faithful student...”

“Ouch,” One of the Rainbows chuckled. Horned Rarity gave her the stink eye.

“Two things: First, you really need to learn how to be more quiet if you’re ever going to do something like steal the element of magic. Secondly, the elements of harmony have been returned to where they were grown in the first place.”

“...What?” Sunset squeaked.

“Sunset shimmer… please meet me on the upper floor, would you?”

Sunset ducked her head down. “...I refuse.”

“Sunset, you should really stay on my good side.”

“W-what good side?”

Celestia sighed, igniting her horn. Suddenly Sunset felt a very sharp tug on her right ear. She yelped as she was pulled by her precious ear out of the pony pile. “You have been a very bad filly Sunset; but it has been quite a while since I’ve seen you, and I’ve had plenty of time to cool my jets as it were.”

“Ouch ouch-- Sunbutt stop it I hate you--” Sunset fussed, fighting the tug of Celestia’s magic.

“Cooperate, and I won’t tug on your ear as hard.” At this, Sunset decided to temporarily cease fighting on account of saving her energy for a point in time where she could properly get the drop on her. “Twilight, girls, copies of girls, if you would please follow me?”

As the mane six and their clones walked their way upstairs, four of them hobbling on legs they weren’t used to and one simply draped across another one’s back, Spike watched them close the door, then turned to the ponies and changelings which had only just stopped clinging to each other for dear life. “I don’t really think that anypony’s going to be sleeping after that commotion… So I’m gonna head to the kitchen and maybe make some tea, coffee and donuts… Anypony want some?”

The group stared back at him.

“Can I get a show of hooves maybe?”

“Um… What’s a donut?” A small, thin changeling with long ears asked.

“It’s a round, ring shaped piece of dough which ya cook up, add sugar and frosting and sprinkles and stuff.” He smiled. “Very sweet, you’ll like it.”

“No it’s not.”

Spike gave the changeling a look. “...Lepidos, is it?” Lepidos nodded. Spike groaned, recalling what Twilight warned him about. “Right… Lepidos on what basis do you have to believe that donuts aren’t how I described them?”

“Because ponies lie.”

Spike was amused by the oversight. “Do I look like a pony, Lepidos?”

“You got a muzzle like one...”

“I’m a baby dragon.”

“No you’re not.”

“Look--” Spike walked forward, palm to his face. “Ponies stand on four legs. I stand on two legs. Ponies have flat teeth. I have sharp teeth. I can breath fire--” Spike spit out a small burst of flame. “Ponies can’t. I’m a baby dragon.”

“No you’re--”

Spike was getting sick of the changeling nymph. He clamped one of his claws around her muzzle, firm enough to make her stop being contradictory, but gentle enough not to hurt. “Lepidos, do you want a donut?” After some measure of pondering, Lepidos nodded. “Great, you’ll enjoy them; Pinkie promise!” Spike slipped on his favorite apron and walked out of the main library to fire up a kettle.

Celestia slowly dragged her least faithful student up the stairs into the library’s living area proper, the pony pressing her hooves into the floor the whole way. When she made there, Celestia let go of Sunset’s ear, the unicorn almost immediately jumped her in an attempt to knock her block off.

“Really Sunset?” Celestia muttered as blocked her magic shot, threw her down on the floor and sat on her.

“Get offa me!” Sunset snarled.

Celestia adjusted her position to spread out her entire weight on Sunset, stopping her wild spellcasting with a flick on her horn. “Sunset, I told you that it would be better to stay on my good side.” Celestia lay down completely. “But if you’re going to keep on fussing, I will restrain you. Are you going to behave?”

“Bite me.”

“No thanks.” Celestia tucked her legs beneath her, patting Sunset on her head much to her resentment. Then she turned her head to the other ponies, situated on Twilight’s bed and the guest bed. “Right then… I am Princess Celestia del Sol of the immortal empire of the solar diarchy; Lady of dawn, our merciful ruler eternal, generous, kind and all powerful, Queen over all her light shines on and warms, the never ending.” Celestia took a long breath after spitting out that mouthful. “But even I don’t use my full title very often at all; so for you all, you may call me ‘Tia’, which is ‘Celestia’ for short.

“So, given the very loud noise in the middle of the night, and the six extra ponies in this house than there were once before, I would suspect that you all came through the portal, Sunset trying to do something against you, and you following in pursuit. is that correct?”

Some of the new ponies nodded. “Um, not to be rude...” The small yellow unicorn spoke up, “But… aren’t we supposed to introduce ourselves too?”

Oops. To be fair, it was very late, so Celestia did not have the cognitive power to remember to be polite at the time. “Oh… Oh yes, of course! Please, do tell me your names.”

“Um, my name is Fluttershy...” The butter yellow unicorn said. Like Equestria's Fluttershy, that pony sort of hid herself in her mane… and near the back of the other clone ponies. This one reminded her of how Twilight first described Fluttershy when they met.

“Applejack; nice ta meet ya.” The orange pegasus tipped her hat. Celestia had to do a double take to realize that she did not steal Applejack’s hat, because they looked very similar to each other. That and even the way they talked was identical.

“Rainbow Dash, Rainbow for short.” The blue furred unicorn crossed her hooves. This one didn’t have much at all different from Rainbow Dash, and if she had wings, she suspected that she too would be flying regularly.

“I’m Pinkamena Dianne Pie, But all my friends call me Pinkie!” The pink pegasus chirped, excitedly fluttering her wings. “And that’s Rarity, the prettiest of us!” She pointed at the out cold white earth pony. “But I don’t think she’ll be able to talk for a little while.”

Celestia was so distracted by the poor combination of Pinkie’s personality with pegasus wings, it took a moment to register what Dianne actually said. “Yes, I can see that… I do hope she’s alright.” No good can come from such a volatile mix of personality and race… Then again, two Pinkies has always been one too many.

“I already checked up on her! No bumps, no bruises, nothing!” Pinkie nodded in self-affirmation. “But you know, we look a lot similar to you… in some way… You know, what with having the same coat as she does.” Pegasus-Pinkie pointed to Pinkie.

“Yeah, and your mane is just out of control as mine!” Pinkie added.

“Yeah, weird.”

“Weirder still, our names are exactly alike!”

“You’re kidding!”

“Nopey-dopey! Absolutely not!” Pegasus-Pinkie pointed to her friends one by one. “Fluttershy and Fluttershy, Rainbow and Rainbow, Rarity and Rarity, Applejack and Applejack! What are the chances of that??”

Dianne shiverred. “Ooooh, my little earth-pony mind can't fathom the odds of--”

“If I could get back on topic,” Celestia interrupted. “What exactly did she try to do?”

“She’s a big meanie pants!” Pinkie shouted, flaring her wings.

Celestia tried to contain her giggling at the somewhat childish name calling. Only Pinkie could make being a victim of bullying amusing. “Could you be a little bit more specific?”

“Well for one she threatened mah family,” Applejack said.

“She stuffed me in a locker...” Whimpered Fluttershy.

“She claimed that I dye my hair!” Rainbow shouted.

“And when nopony was looking...” Pinkie growled, holding her wing up to her face conspiratorially, “Sunset Shimmer snuck into my workplace… and stole forty cupcakes!!” Her eyes narrowed. “Four tens. Terrible dark arts.”

“Worse yet,” Rainbow complained, “She used her freaky psychic powers so that we couldn’t tell Principal Celestia how much of a brat she was, drove a wedge between our friendship, and then she had the nerve to try and snap our spines so that we’d be paralyzed from the neck down!”

The actual ponies gasped at those remarks. Celestia rolled her eyes. “I’m really sorry about that my little ponies… but if that did come to pass, I can assure you that I’d have personally fixed any damage she might have done to you. Because she doesn’t want to act responsibly, it rests on me to be the responsible one in her stead.”

Sunset protested. “Wait, how do you know they’re telling you the truth!?”

“I don’t,” Celestia admitted. “I’m just know you never tell the truth.”

“How could you?! They’re lying!! Lies and slander! I’ve always been a good girl!”

Celestia shook her head. This pony who had once been her student was proving herself to be as arrogant and selfish as ever. Proof of another mistake, she supposed. But that was then, and this was now, and when Celestia had the opportunity presented to her to fix said mistake, she was all too eager to seize it. “Sunset, the last time I saw you, I had expelled you because our relationship had turned sour. You were impatient, aggressive, and rude. Not two minutes earlier, you were attacking these ponies, and you attacked me. So is it’s really very reasonable for me to think that you were bullying these poor girls. Now what do you have to say for yourself?”

Sunset scowled at her.

“Sunset… what do you have to say?”

“I should have broken their spines earlier,” Sunset mumbled.

As one could reasonably expect, Celestia was livid. However, she did not let it show until a crucial point. “I’m really sorry for the way she’s been behaving, girls. If any of you want anything from me at all regarding yourselves or her, I’m open to help. In the meantime,” Celestia gave sunset a meaningful look, “Sunset and I will be having a very long talk.” Several relieved sighs fell out of the other ponies’ mouths. some of them were even teary eyed. Well that went better than expected, she thought to herself. It might have been a little bit more of a problem if they demanded more out of me. “Now, I’m sure you all have some place you call home and you should at the very least be there in the morning.”

Agreement sounded from all the ponies present. Applejack graciously offered to carry Earth-pony Rarity back to the portal. They all said their thanks as they left one by one, but Unicorn-Fluttershy lingered.

“Flutter-- Other Fluttershy, is there something you wanted?”

“Um, well… It’s just… What’s to stop her from being mean again…?”

Celestia’s heart bled for the pony. It was tragic, but nervous or shy ponies like her and Her own Fluttershy were pretty much destined to be an easy target for bullies solely because they were too fearful to fight back.

“Oh yeah, this is all just a minor setback Florence,” Sunset sneered. “I’ll find a way out of this little trap, and I’ll put it upon myself to kill your little pets right in front of--”

“Sunset, shut up.” Celestia snapped. But alas, the damage was already done. Unicorn-fluttershy fell to the floor, bawling. “Oh come here sweetheart...” Celestia picked up the pony, pulling her tight in a gentle hug. “Shh, it’s alright, the mean pony won’t get at your pets.”

“You (hic)-- Y-you mean it?”

“I absolutely mean it! I’m gonna make sure she doesn’t bring any gemstones into the portal either next morning.”

“B-but-- (hic)-- But what if she does??”

“If it should come to that, I will personally intervene.”

“...P-promise?”

“Pinkie promise.” Those little words seemed to calm her down enough that she could walk her over to the portal. Then with all the grace of a butterfly, she hopped through, leaving only a rippling surface behind. But not before getting a quick hug while she was off guard. Florence was an oddly sneaky one for affection.

Business done and foreign beings comforted and escorted back home, Celestia had only one more thing to do.

Spike had only just finished handing out pastries and warm beverages to all the ponies/changelings that had decided to stay up because they were already awake. This meant that he was all done in the kitchen, and she could grab something particularly useful. She opened up one of the cupboards, rifling around in it.

“Princess, what’re y’all doin?” Asked Applejack.

“I’m looking for a wooden spoon, that’s what.”

“What? Why?” Pinkie inquired.

“Because Tia’s gonna whoop somepony’s behind, that’s why!” Applejack chuckled. “With that story ah heard from Jackie, I’d say she’s got it comin’!”

“What??” Fluttershy squeaked.

“Might ah suggest the flat end of a brush?”

“No, don’t!” Fluttershy tried to dissuade the princess, but her voice failed to carry.

“Thank you very much every pony, but I think I know a little bit more about physical punishment than you do.”

“The bare hoof had always worked for me, why do you need a brush?” Pinkie asked.

Applejack crossed her hoof. “a brush has a lit’l larger surface area, so it stings more but does less damage.”

“Oooh, I see!” Pinkie turned to Rainbow Dash. “Dashie, how were you spanked when you were little?”

“Just with a wing,” was Rainbow’s reply.

“How often?”

Rainbow dash blushed heavily. “W-why the hay does that matter?!” Pinkie just laughed.

Twilight put her two cents in. “I don’t see the point of spanking; My dad just confiscated my books.”

“It was always the apple family way,” Applejack defended.

“It’s mean...” Fluttershy mumbled.

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “It worked. Y’all got a better idea?”

“Um… just a time out is fine, really...”

Applejack glanced at her… then shrugged. “...Well, ah guess it worked, so who am I to judge?”

“My little ponies,” Celestia cut in. “As riveting a discussion this is, I’m about to do something I don’t want to do, and it’s not fun for me.”

“Sorry!” Said all ponies present in unison. Celestia shook her head, pulling out her particular instrument of justice. She was about to march upstairs with it in hoof, when somepony pulled on her mane.

“What is it now… Yes, Pinkie Pie?”

“Remember what we said, right?” Pinkie reminded her. “You can punish anypony you’re responsible for--”

“Yes yes I know, within reason; my memory’s not that shot.” (2) Celestia marched herself up the stairs with a mix of will and hesitation. And just in time too, because Sunset had managed to open the latch to the window with her hooves, and was just about to dive out. Celestia flared her horn, snatching the unicorn out of thin air. She flailed her hooves around, only just finding purchase on the window frame; purchase that was not very stable for her hooves, as Celestia’s magic simply dragged her away from the frame, leaving a pair of hoof marks in it. Despite the futility of the act, Sunset still tried to get away by grabbing on to the blanket of the bed by said window, pulling it up and off.

“Sunbutt why can’t I ever get away from you?!”

“Oh, I know who’s going to be a sunbutt when I’m done,” Celestia growled, waving her beating device.

Sunset gulped. “No… No, you’re kidding.”

“Sunset, my least faithful student...” she began as she held out the wooden spoon.

“Stop calling me that…!”

“You’re right, I made a mistake in the way I taught you… and honestly, I’m glad you told me so.” Celestia set sunset down firmly on the floor, and when she tried to scramble away, pinned her with a hoof. “Sometimes, I’m too lenient, other times I railroad my students to one path.”

“No… No stop it… You’re a monster…!” The unicorn was starting to squirm.

“In this particular case however, I should have realized the way I was trying to make you understand your mistakes was not sinking in, and making me more frustrated. We’ve been seperated for a while, and I’ve had plenty of time to figure out that you weren’t receptive to shouting matches. So now I’m changing up my methods.”

“No no… please don’t… you can’t do that, it’s un-ponylike!”

“Sunset,” Celestia scolded with a deathly calm. “If you’re going to act like a spoiled brat and a bully, you’re going to be treated like a spoiled brat and a bully.” Sunset flinched as Celestia brushed aside her tail. “Which means you’re going to be spanked like the spoiled brat and bully you are.”

“No!”

For a brief moment, Celestia faltered, looking at the teary eyes of this unicorn that she had at her mercy. She could tell that it was going to hurt for her… but she also had no reason to believe that she’d stop bullying if she didn’t do it. So she squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m sorry Sunset, this is for your own good.”

“No please not the spoon I’m sorry--!”

Sunset got a sunbutt as a series of loud thwacks echoed in the library. Celestia heard from downstairs a collective groan of sympathetic pain. Truly, Sunset was done a grave misjustice, and in her righteous anger, she fled from the vile wooden spoon and into the far corner of the library bedroom. There she pouted and fumed, denying that Celestia brought her to tears.

Celestia was not having any of that. She stood up from the floor and picked Sunset up with a leg. She made no resistance as she was set down on the guest bed, large wing wrapped around her.

Sunset sniffled. “I hate you...”

“I’m sure you do… Sunset, do you know why I used the spoon?”

“Because you hate me...”

“Nooo,” Celestia corrected. “I used the spoon because you have been behaving childish and unreasonable, like a five year old who did not get the toy she wanted and threw a temper tantrum.”

Sunset said nothing, choosing instead to turn away.

“You understand that that sort of attitude is not something that-- should you become a princess-- would be appreciated by your future subjects, right?” Again, sunset refused to talk, continuing to sniffle. “Sunset, talk to me.”

“I will be a princess,” Sunset mumbled.

“And if you’re going to make that commitment, you’ll need a change in your attitude.”

“I’m perfectly fine.”

“Sunset, I still have that spoon.” Sunset covered her bottom reflexively. Celestia felt somewhat sorry for what she did, but she understood it was for her own good. “Okay… may I talk more?” At Sunset’s nod, she did just that. “Alrighty then… Do you know why I took you on as a student in the first place?”

“B-because I was special?”

“In the magical scheme of things, yes. You are in fact set apart from many others.”

Sunset smiled, pleased by the stroking of her ego. “Oh yes, I’m certainly all that.” Her prideful statement was somewhat diminished by her burning bottom.

“I also had chose you because you were bold and ambitious.”

“Of course.” She turned her nose up into the air.

“That, and I was sure with how you were not afraid to show points for improvement in others, you would be a great input for me-- no, for us.”

“If that’s the case...” Sunset replied bitterly. “Then why the hay haven’t I become a princess yet??”

“Because, Sunset, you are not ready.”

“But I am ready!” Sunset whined, holding her tail to her chest.

“No you are not. Look at it this way… When I pick out ponies for the royal guard, I look for the ones who will not blindly obey any order given to them because it’s their duty, and haven’t enlisted because they wanted the thrill of killing somepony. What you saw in that mirror scared me, because do you know who else thought they could have it all?”

Sunset gulped, shaking her head.

“Sombra, who felt it was his fate and is now nothing but his very own horn, Nightmare Moon, a magical parasite born of my own sister’s resentment and was destroyed as we know it by the elements of harmony, Queen Chrysalis was beaten thrice, first by the power of the very thing she used to get sustenance, secondly at the hooves of my own faithful student, and when she still thought she could take Equestria...”

“...Y-you killed her?”

“No Sunset, I let her face a demonstration of my full power, and left her a shadow of herself. Queen Chrysalis is now no better off than an indentured servant, under my sister’s rule.” At this, Sunset whimpered, finally seeming to get the picture. Celestia pulled her closer. “Do you understand why I don’t approve of ambition with no kindness or humility to restrain it?”

“W-why would you kill anypony for wanting to lead a country? P-please don’t kill me...”

Celestia paused. Then again, maybe she didn’t quite get it yet. Oh well, the great wall of Chinneigh was not built in a day… “Sunset, I’m not going to kill you. In fact, killing you is the last thing on my mind, are we clear on that?”

“Prove it.” Celestia hugged her. Predictably she flailed around in an effort to fight her way out of the grip. “Not like that-- not like that!!”

“Well how else am I supposed to prove that I’m not going to kill you??”

“I don’t know, just not that!”

Celestia deadpanned. “Just how many ponies who have hugged you tried to kill you?” Sunset opened her mouth to offer a rebuttal, but after realizing she had none, allowed it to be shut with Celestia’s hoof, dropping her ears. “That’s what I thought. Look Sunset, I know how much you don’t like me, but I recently got an opening for a new student, and I would like you to fill that opening if you’re--”

“No.”

“If you would at least reconsider--”

“No!”

“...What will it take for me to convince you to go ahead with this?”

Sunset shrugged. “Dunno… make me a princess right now.”

Celestia fell a hint of a headache coming on. “That’s kinda the point of making you my student, Sunset.”

Sunset’s short patience was wearing thin already, much to Celestia’s displeasure. “Give my my wings, Sunbutt!”

Celestia infuriatingly ground her teeth at the nickname. That name was really starting to grate on her, but she’d probably be able to correct that when she got her back as a student. She had to actively remind herself that she was here to give her a chance, not throw her back through the Erised fo rorrim and break it behind her. Thus she maintained her facade of gentle patience in the hopes it would become authentic. “I understand your wishes to be a princess, Sunset; but if I were to give you a set of wings right now, what exactly would you do with them?”

Well, that seemed to work, Celestia smiled at Sunset’s hesitation. “...I’d flaunt them, obviously.”

“Of course you would, but after you grew tired of flaunting them, what would you do then?”

Sunset gaped. “Uhm-- I would-- I just… What’re we talking about again?”

Gotcha, Celestia smiled. “My dear, dear sunset...” Celestia said condescendingly, endearingly rubbing her head with a hoof. “A pony needs to remember sometimes that an ambition for a goal without a plan after accomplishing said goal is like a dog chasing a pony cart. A dog doesn’t know what they’ll do when they’ve caught it, yet they chase it nonetheless, because the idea of chasing it is appealing.” She touched Sunset’s nose, watching her cross her eyes in a confused way before settling back on her gaze. “Sunset Shimmer chases after a set of wings, not knowing what she’ll do when she’s caught them, but chases them nonetheless, because the idea of chasing them is appealing.

“So Sunset… are you a dog chasing pony carts, or a pony who wants to better herself and share the responsibility of a country?”

It was only five seconds later that Sunset had her answer.

“Guess who’s gonna be the next big thing!!” Sunset’s loud voice echoed through the whole library.

Twilight’s hoof fell across her face in utter exasperation. “Sunset, you realize that it’s way too early to be yelling so loud in a library of all things, right?!”

If Sunset had actually heard her, she did not show any sign of it, instead continuing to gloat as she bounded down the stairs. “That’s right! I’m gonna be the next big thing! Me, Sunset Shimmer, best student in the history of ever to Princess Celestia Del Sol of the Immortal Empire of--”

“Enough,” Celestia called down, cutting the new student off from her little gloating spree. Sunset visibly wilted at the rebuke, taking the last four steps in a much more dignified manner.

Twilight was unimpressed. “So… Celestia actually gave you another chance? I would have figured that after that thrashing, you would have crawled home never to be seen again.”

Sunset scowled. “Just what’s that supposed to mean, Twinkle Starbutt?”

Twilight pulled out some coins, handing them to Applejack. “It means I lost thirty bits on that bet.”

Sunset felt insulted. “What? You made a bet?!”

“Yeah, I know. I’ve got the worst of luck.”

“You should have made a bet in my favor!”

“Ah did,” Applejack replied, crossing her hooves. “Somepony’s gotta be the optimist… so yer welcome.”

“Great, so I only got any sort of support from the mud pony...” Sunset muttered under her breath.

“That’s a little speciesist,” Twilight scolded. “And to put it in perspective, ‘mud pony’ strength is one third of being an alicorn princess… And I know a friend who enjoys covering herself in mud.”

“It’s a special mix of Ash and nutrients, not mud,” Rarity protested.

“That’s what they all say,” Twilight replied with a knowing chuckle. “Changing the subject, what made you go back?”

Whatever offense Sunset had felt was buried in her ego, as Twilight had seen with her quick change of demeanor. Little worrying, but then again she was still just as transparent as a piece of glass. She regaled a story that Celestia supposedly told her about what she had done when she left through the mirror portal. According to her, Celestia had sat in wait in front of that portal for three days straight for her to come back, never leaving, save to eat, drink and go to the bathroom. And now that she returned, Celestia had fell to her hooves, begging and pleading for her to come back and be her princess--

“Sunset...” Twilight chided. “We heard Celestia spanking you, and we saw her carrying a spoon up there to do so.”

Sunset stopped in her tracks. “Uh… You did?”

“Yup, so did everypony else.”

Sunset dropped her head, grumbling at her embarrassment. “Fine then… Sunbutt made a point about my ambitions being like a dog chasing pony carts, so I--”

“Aw shoot,” Applejack muttered.

“What?!”

“Just lost forty to Rarity.”

Rarity accepted the forty bits with a dainty hug. “Can’t win them all, dear. Just goes to say that Celestia doesn’t always need to make a big display of power, pose dramatically and all.”

“Ah thought the odds were in my favor… but there ya go; by yerself a pretty scarf or something.”

“Or the fabric to make a pretty scarf, I suppose?”

Sunset snarled. Nopony seemed to notice.

“So,” Rainbow addressed the elephant in the room. “Now that this student that we had no idea about beforehoof is back to being a student, who’s going to let her crash on the couch?”

“I was about to ask the same thing,” Celestia concurred. “It is always a little important that my students have a proper place to stay at night… if she doesn’t have one already.”

“...I do have one,” Sunset defended.

Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Do you now?” Sunset nodded. “Is it a house?” Sunset shook her head. “Some apartment?” Sunset shook again. “Crashing at a friend’s house” Another shake. “...Homeless shelter?” Sunset frowned, shaking her head once more. “Sunset, if you’re living under a bridge or something...”

“It’s not a bridge, I just live in an abandoned warehouse.”

Celestia nodded in understanding. “Sunset… I cannot in good conscience allow you to live alone in an abandoned warehouse.”

“I’m fine,” Sunset muttered.

“No Sunset, being “fine” will not help you. What would happen if you got sick, with nopony to take care of you? What if that warehouse collapsed on you, and got you hurt?”

“I said I’m fine.”

Celestia completely ignored her. “Girls, do you by any chance have some spare lodging for my new student? I would consider letting her stay in Canterlot, but I’d really rather stay away from there for a while, because I don’t want to get caught in the inevitable backlash from Luna’s announcement in the morning.”

Six ponies looked at each other, hoping that one of them would speak up before they had to. Eventually getting sick of the silence, Applejack spoke up. “Ah’m afraid I’m gonna have ta decline, yer highness; ah got all them nymphs ta take care of, and ah can’t exactly try ta keep her in line on the weekends as well. Pretty sure she wouldn’t want ta be put to work on a ‘mud pony’ farm anyhow.”

“Something we can agree on,” Sunset added. “I guess that means I’m on my own--”

“Fluttershy, you take care of animals, right?”

“What the hay are you implying, Sunbutt?!”

“Do you think that you can let Sunset bed down on your couch or something?” Fluttershy simply squeaked out an excuse that hit above audible frequency. It was clear that she didn’t want to house her out of fear. So Celestia moved on to another pony. “Okay then. Rainbow, you’ve got a spot for her?”

“I dunno,” Rainbow answered, “Can she fly?”

“I should have been able to by now,” Sunset snarked.

“Right, of course.” Celestia blinked, wiping her eyes. Stupid question. “It’s late, I should have thought of that. Pinkie?”

“Yeppers!” Pinkie chirped.

“Oh, so that’s a yes?”

“Nope!” Pinkie smiled sympathetically. “Sorry, but the Cakes are too busy taking care of their kids to afford a third mouth to feed!”

“Oh? What about you?”

“I pay for myself!” Pinkie beamed, then scarfed a donut as Spike came by with another tray. Celestia nodded. there was only one other pony then.

“Rarity, I don’t suppose you’re available?”

Rarity sighed. “I’m afraid not Princess, Sweetie belle--bless her little heart-- is just too much trouble for one of me to handle all by her lonesome already.”

Sunset was going to make a move to put Rarity in her place, but a white wing stopped her from doing anything. “That’s a shame... I’m sorry Twilight, but I have to have Sunset live here.”

“I said I’m fine!” Sunset yelled, trying to fight out of her grip. But Celestia wasn’t having any of it. She held on tighter, but still gently. Eventually, Sunset gave up again.

Twilight however was plenty enough enthusiastic to have her. “It’s alright Pr-- Celestia! It’d be nice to have another friend around for a change-- especially one with experience as a student!”

Sunset had to protest. “Don’t I get a say in this?!”

“No Sunset, you don’t,” Celestia calmly answered. “You already made it quite clear that you didn’t want to stay here, but I cannot let you stay all alone in some abandoned building.” She smiled, nuzzling her. “Besides, don’t you want to sleep in a nice and warm bed for once?”

“Don’t touch me.”

“Speaking of which, from what I heard from the mirror world counterparts, you’ve been enrolled at a school for a little while, haven’t you?”

“Have not.”

“Oh, so you just walked into a school building to shove an innocent person into a locker?” Sunset tightened her mouth, refusing to answer. “Yeah, I thought you didn’t. Sunset, it’s a school night I believe, and with you being the only one among us not traumatized by what happened early on tonight, I think you should take advantage of what little night we’ve got left.”

Sunset whimpered. “Please don’t...” Celestia paid no heed, simply grabbing the pony in her magic, setting her down on her back and carrying her back upstairs. Sunset was surprisingly cooperative for hating her guts. That was a start, she supposed. When she made it to the bedroom, she untangled the sheets on the guest bed, tucking her new student in. “This is so not fair…!” she whined.

“I know, I know… But I don’t think you’d function at all if you were to sleep in class, hmm?” Sunset said nothing, but for Celestia, she didn’t have to. She fluffed her pillow, stroked her hair, and planted a kiss on her forehead. “Good night Sunset… I look forward to teaching you when you get home tomorrow.”

“Blech.” Sunset faked a gag. Rolling her eyes, Celestia trotted downstairs once more now that everything was in order. This first crisis went by pretty smoothly, and better yet, she got Sunset back into her life! Forget any anger she had for her, she was giddy with the excitement of a new method of teaching, perhaps with a more hands on, sparring approach; because she looked like she would make an excellent guardian princess. That, and she was very impressed by that new magic she had created, despite it being used against ponies who were simply tired of being pushed around by her. Especially that weaponized Canterlot Voice. She had to ask about that.

Celestia saw the resident purple dragon walking by with the last of his goodies. You know what, I think Sunset gets a midnight snack… It’s only fair! “Hey Spike, would you be so kind to get Sunset a donut? And maybe some hot chocolate if it’s still warm?”

“Sure. Just don’t blame me if the little jerk decides to make a Spike-shaped hole in the wall.”

Author's Notes:

Edit note: Changed all the human names to their pony names. I actually think that the whole scene is even more amusing by using the same names, emphasizing the confusion of having two of the (just) same pony in one room!

So here we are, it's the start of a something. A something similar, a something diferent. A something with a very different format to Fed Up. With any luck, all my wild twists I have planned for the story don't break its neck, and whatever humor I make is just as funny as I think it is. Discovery writing is both a blessing and a curse.

References:
(1): It was suspected to be the gibberish phrase“Fus ro pah”, however the last intonation has a large amount of debate behind it. Sunset has never revealed the phrase in its completion under the pretense of “trade secret”.(2): see “I am goddess…?” in the previous story. http://www.fimfiction.net/story/49630/12/fed-up/i-am-goddess

Canterlot 1: A fine, fair and Luxurious misery

Poor Chrysalis. Poor sad, miserable, misunderstood, pathetic Chrysalis. Just what had she done to deserve this? Well, she knew exactly what she had done to deserve it, but it made her feel better to ask that.

And ask it she did; to herself, to the guards posted outside, to the infuriating crown latched on her head, and into the pillow which she could have sworn that she screamed into for the first part of the night.

The answer was always the same though: “Because you were”, or ”Because you acted like an idiot, Chrysalis.” Then Princess Luna put her to sleep like some newborn. How freaking humiliating. But yeah, that was just about right. Her grave error from the very beginning had set her back several paces.

Perhaps even back to imprisonment.

Oh, who was she kidding? Of course this was imprisonment. But that was okay, a setback is a setback no matter how you slice it; and if she knew anything about setbacks, it was that they were only temporary. Chrysalis was not utterly defeated, and by whatever being changeling peasants were deluded into worshiping as a god or goddess, she had vengeance to carry out against Celestia, and that vengeance would instill her with strength to rise up--

Chrysalis had attempted to boldly stand up, only to find her legs stuck. No matter, let’s try that again… She attempted her mental monologue again. Chrysalis would have vengeance, which would instill her with strength to rise up--

...

Ahem.

Again, her legs refused to obey her dramatic flair. She tested each of her four limbs to see if they actually were responding. Each one in tandem wiggled, proving that it wasn’t that they didn’t move, but rather that they were obstructed. Chrysalis had decided that her monologue could wait until she got untangled. So with all the understanding required for the situation, she took to action with the only method she used when subtlety didn’t work: violence.

Chrysalis thrashed in an attempt to loosen the blankets firmly wrapped around her. This was a plenty effective enough strategy when she ruled as queen of her hive back home. She did tear them up thoroughly, but it wasn’t her job to replace them, so she never felt any guilt about it. She knew that the same thing applied here as well, so she still wasn’t worried. At least, she wasn’t worried until she figured out that with her smaller size she couldn’t actually provide enough force to effectively escape. Instead of the blankets loosening up for her to wriggle her way out, they clung even tighter to her small, weakened frame.

Chrysalis thrashed even harder. She was not going to be defeated by these soft fabrics and cushions. Mother as her witness, she was going to escape; and by the time she escaped this soft and warm prison, she was going to burn the blanket, and there would be nothing left for the servants to replace!

Apparently the blanket had known what she was plotting, because it untucked itself from the corners of the bed to try and smother her. Chrysalis panicked as the sheets quickly and efficiently crawled past her head and cut off sight from the visible world. No, no not like this... the thrashing does nothing-- the thrashing does nothing!! In all her years, Chrysalis had never been bested by her bedding… But there was one thing she still had up her proverbial sleeve…

“Help--!” Chrysalis yelped, reaching out a hoof to grasp desperately at her pillow. Her voice went unheard after the first five seconds when the blankets more thoroughly wrapped themselves around her face, so she tried again, a little louder this time.

“Help me please!!” That didn’t seem to work either, and the blankets were making it harder to breathe. She was pretty sure the oxygen that was trapped in there with her was wearing thin.

That was it. She was going to die. That didn’t seem very productive with vengeance against Celestia. One last clawing hoof to barely pull her nose out from inside the death cocoon, and Chrysalis gave it one last try.

“HELP ME YOU STUPID PEASANTS; I’M DROWNING!! DROWNING IN BLANKETS!! I SWEAR IF I DIE LIKE THIS, THE LOT OF YOU ARE GOING TO BE HUNG BY YOUR BIG PONY EARS!!”

“Yes yes, good morning,” a voice replied with an odd level of ease for her predicament. “No need to shout Your Highness; I heard you the first time.”

“What, who--” In a fraction of a second, Chrysalis’ prison became weightless, then unraveled from around her, allowing her to land on the mattress proper. Chrysalis glared at her assailant.

A unicorn stallion with balding grey hair, bushy eyebrows and a long mustache smiled back over his spectacles. He casually pulled out a pocket watch. “If you were my mistress, I would have told you that you were an hour behind schedule; but as it were, Princess Luna told me to let you get up on your own accord.”

Chrysalis continued to scowl. “...Kibbitz, I presume?”

Kibbitz beamed. “And it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance without the skin of another princess on you. I trust that your sleep was restful until that last unfortunate moment?”

“I almost died, and you ask me how well I slept. I slept rather terribly, peasant!”

“Nonsense Princess, all the fabrics on this bed are designed to be breathable; it’d be just embarrassing if one of the visiting dignitaries ‘drowned in their blankets’ as you said.”

Chrysalis snorted, promptly getting up. “You know, I just realized I don’t care anymore. I’m hungry.”

“Of course; just a quick trip to the royal kitchens, and we’ll be ready to meet up with Princess Luna for your training.” Kibitz pulled out a pen and clipboard, walking out of the bedroom. When he noticed that Chrysalis wasn’t following he looked back expectantly. “Well? Are you coming? We’re on a schedule, you see.”

Chrysalis pushed on ahead of Kibitz, uncaring of the fact that she tripped him up. “Oh, I just don’t think that the royal kitchens can supply what I need.”

Kibitz picked himself up, wiping his spectacles with a handkerchief before placing them squarely on his nose once more. “I assure you Princess, that the shelves are always supplied with all sorts of ingredients across Equestria, and beyond. You’ld be hard pressed to not find something you’d like.”

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “I know the castle; they’ve got their kitchens supplied with food for ponies, griffons and dragons. Do I look like any of those to you?”

Kibitz examined his clipboard. “Hmm, yes that’s quite the oversight, I do apologize.”

“Good. Now perhaps you can be useful and find me the biggest source around here of--”

“I’ll petition the throne to see if we can supply the meat lockers with children’s hearts.”

Chrysalis was entirely taken aback, and she cut him off once more, stopping him with a hoof. “You what?! Were you even here when I invaded this pathetic little slum you call a capital?!” Kibitz cast a knowing smirk, proving that he was there in fact, Chrysalis’ felt her cheeks flush violet with embarrassment. He just played her. Such little jokes were not to be tolerated. She scowled threateningly. “Don’t toy with me, welp.”

If Kibitz had understood the threat behind the command, he didn’t make note of it, simply brushing it off as morning grouchiness. “I dare say Princess, you remind me a lot of the Mistress in the morning. Perhaps I’ll get you a cup of coffee so you’re more alert. You did say you slept rather awfully, did you not?”

Chrysalis blew a strand of her mane from her face. “Fine whatever, stretching the legs would do some good. Gotta get used to my shorter height.”

“Very good Your highness, if you would just follow me.”

Chrysalis stared at the strange brownish-blackish liquid in the cup before her. Steam wafted up to tickle her nose with a strange alien scent. It warmed up her hooves slowly through her chitin.

“I take it you’ve never had coffee before?” Kibitz was idly standing by her side, presumably to attend to any of her other needs that may pop up.

Chrysalis shook her head. “With all the plotting I’ve done, I did not have any sort of time to do anything frivolous like sample strange and questionably useful liquids like this… coffee.”

“Well you have it right in front of you. No time like the present, is there?”

“I suppose...” Chrysalis rolled her eyes in half hearted agreement before lifting the fine porcelain container in her two front legs. She carried it up to her muzzle before tentatively reaching her tongue out and ever so lightly lapping at mixture. Her tongue was assaulted with a sharp bitter taste. Her whole muzzle puckered up and she snapped her tongue back into her mouth, nearly retching. “That has got to be the most foul, disgusting thing I have ever tasted.”

Kibitz chuckled. “Oops. Dear me, I seem to have forgotten to get the cream and sugar.”

Frantically, she tried to clean her tongue of the taste, casting a mean look at Kibitz. “Oh, so you knew it needed something else. And what made you have that lapse of understanding?!”

Kibitz waved his hoof. “Don’t be that way; you’re only saying that because I told you I forgot. Not to worry, I’ll go fetch some.”

Before she could properly rebuke him for daring to order her around, Kibitz was already up and rifling in the kitchen cupboards. So instead, she chose to lean on her hoof, elbow on the table, and gaze at the brownish poison which was surely cooling. All the while, she listened to him searching.

“Let’s see, I’m sure they left the sugar in here… Salt? Good heavens, no. Ah! There’s my green pen; I was wondering where that had went. Strange place for it really…”

Chrysalis was getting bored.

“Right, is that the sugar? No, evidently not… Well, I’m sure it’s somewhere… Ah ha! There it is!” Kibitz walked back to the table, cream and sugar in his aura. “And with a few minutes to spare! Just long enough to hopefully find a combination that you actually--”

“Oops,” Chrysalis casually tipped over her mug, smugly grinning at the brown stuff spilling all over the table. “Clumsy me.”

Kibitz just glared at her. “You couldn’t wait half a second longer, could you? You know this’ll bring us behind considerably.”

“Don’t care. The servants will clean it up.” Chrysalis continued grinning smugly, daring the pony to say something else.

Kibitz snorted, getting necessary supplies to clean up the mess and get another cup. The process of setting up those materials was made easier only by the prior process of setting them up. Wasted effort of the peasants that Chrysalis reveled in. “Well Your Majesty, let us hope that you don’t keep making messes like this so frequently, or they’ll just up and quit.”

“What’re you talking about? Servants can’t quit.”

“I beg to differ,” Kibitz replied curtly. “Every single pony who lives and works here is on the payroll.” Just as if the previous mess wasn’t even there, there was now a new cup with a cream pitcher and a sugar bowl close by. “I’m sure that Princess Luna will work with you on that at some point.”

“Uh-huh,” Chrysalis replied dully. So they didn’t do things the way she did back home. Okay fine, that wasn’t too much trouble; she could just change the laws with what power she would have over court. In the meantime there was the strange liquid in front of her once more. “So… Do I put this stuff in it?”

“To taste; but do hurry, we’re half a minute behind schedule.”

“I’ll take my time if I wish, peasant.” Chrysalis stared long and hard at the three materials before her. If she were honest with herself, she had no idea just how much was supposed to be put in the coffee; because frankly, Chrysalis had never done “to taste” before. She always preferred “get-as-much-as-you-can-and-scarf”. It was what she did with love, so why was coffee any different?

Nevertheless, she did follow Kibitz’ unwanted advice, despite how much she wanted to dump the whole thing and leave.

So she added just enough sugar to compensate for the bitter taste, lifting up the whole bowl, and dumping the entire thing in the small cup.

“Oh dear… You’re really not considering drinking that, are you?”

Chrysalis lifted the whole cup into her mouth, chewing the coffee sugar mixture thoughtfully. “My my, that was just about right, if I say so myself.”

Kibitz felt the need to hide his face in shame, heaving a pained sigh. “I can only hope I will get a pay raise soon for all the grief you’ve caused since this morning...”

Chrysalis ignored him, licking her chops. “Mmm… I think I’ll grow to like coffee.”

Chrysalis decided that she hated coffee.

It was delayed reaction, as she came to be aware of. Nothing had happened at first, the coffee being very pleasant when it was completely drowned out by the flavor of sugar, and at the time she thought that maybe the next time she had coffee, she would drown it in cream and see how that tasted.

Then the effects of said coffee kicked in. It started out somewhat subtly. When she had gotten up, her eyes could barely stay open. Now it was a struggle to blink. Another strange thing was that her heart was beating quicker than normal, despite not having exercised at all since she got up, save for the little walk from her bed to the kitchen. That was something she probably could put up with, at least until the next effects came in.

Chrysalis, being a changeling, could read ponies pretty easily. Their emotions could be read by the careful perception of their eyes dilating, the way they carried themselves, and they even carried their own smells with them to tell their mood.

Her perception suddenly, and very sharply expanded. The light that was normally reasonable at this time of day was blinding to her! And the sounds that sounded soft beforehand were on the forefront of her mind now! Couple that with the now pungent smells of the ponies around her-- and her own odor-- And that could all be pretty well chalked down to a very negative effect--

“Your majesty, are you alright?”

Chrysalis yelped, snapping her ears flat against her skull. Her ears rang painfully, and she fell flat on the floor. “You stupid excuse for a servant; what gave you the idea to yell?!”

“Yell? I’m afraid I don’t follow.”

“Don’t play dumb with me, you Idiot,” Chrysalis snarled, swatting Kibitz’ hoof away when he reached to help her up. “You were yelling, and I have half a mind to tear your throat out so you stop!!”

“I’m afraid there’s not enough time in the schedule to have my throat torn out, your highness.”

Chrysalis was getting fed up. She leapt up, smashing the stallion into the nearest wall, bearing her teeth In a sort of fashion that would have made that pathetic excuse for a guard captain Shining Armor soil his pants. “You have a death wish, Kibitz?! Should I eat you, because it’s all you’re good for?!

“There are so many ways I could make you die slowly and painfully, all the while making you useful as a good meal. I could crack open your head like an egg and eat your brains while you’re still alive. Or I could pull off your limbs one at a time and chew them down to the bone. Or perhaps I should use my favorite technique, and just rip open your abdomen, and nibble on your intestines like so many fat noodles! Provided you don’t keep going down your foolish path, I may just not do that if you are lucky.”

Kibitz sighed, wiping off dribble from his face. When he didn’t make any more smart alec comments, Chrysalis smiled devilishly. “So you’re finally getting it? Good, you’re smarter than you look. Maybe you’ll spare me the idiotic comebacks next time, and do as I say.” She snickered, grinning even wider. “Oh yes, I can feel it… such wonderful fear guarantees compliance...”

“Actually, I’m more worried about what’ll happen now that Princess Luna saw you.”

Chrysalis turned around, finding that Princess Luna was indeed behind her. She stared. “H-how did you sneak up on--”

“I’ve been told that apathy makes a pony rather unreadable,” she replied dully. “I have seen just about every awful thing happen over the course of the week, and let me just say that you somehow still managed to disappoint me. Your first morning as a princess in training, and you’re already threatening to eat the royal timekeeper’s entrails? I would have hoped you were a little bit more patient than that.”

Almost immediately, Chrysalis released Kibitz from the wall and backed away to give him space like the good little changeling she was expected to be. “HolycrapI’msosorryI’llneverdothatagaininamillionyears.”

Luna raised one eyebrow in mild indignation. “Good to know that the crown on your head is giving you a good impression of who’s actually in charge. See to it that you don’t do that again.”

Chrysalis nodded furiously. “Yes! Yes, you’re in charge; please don’t punish me Princess Luna, I’ll be good!”

“Besides the point, it took me a good three weeks before I threatened his life. I’m not sure what my sister sees in him.”

“Wait, what?”

Kibitz chuckled, wiping off his suit. “I’m mostly there to make sure she keeps to schedule when she actually chooses to go by it. If you want to give credit where it’s due, Raven has been a faithful aide for far longer than I have.”

Chrysalis’ ears pinned themselves against her head once more. “Still too loud...”

“Yes, so I’ve heard,” Luna replied. “Her youthfulness is astounding. No matter, we’re already behind schedule, no reason to even try to keep it any longer.” She gestured Chrysalis over. “I have already had my breakfast, but the delivery for your food came in last night.”

“...‘The delivery for my food’? What exactly are you talking about…?”

“We got something from the crystal empire after I had penned one of our princesses. It was explained as refined, condensed affection packed into something physically consumable. It’s good that she seemed really happy to provide.”

Chrysalis smirked. “Well at least somepony has interest in taking care of me.”

“Which is really strange, considering just who it is. I was worried we would need a backup.”

Chrysalis paused in her tracks as they were walking down the hallway. “Okay hang on, just who is it you’re talking about?”

“Princess Cadance, of course.”

“...Who’s Princess Cadance?”

Luna rolled her eyes. “Oh so you really didn’t know her name, and wasn’t just being a selfish fool? You know, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, If you prefer? The pony you captured and hid in a cave for a week without any food or water?”

Chrysalis’ ears folded back. She did not want to hear that name. “Okay, w-why her?”

“Well as far as we know, Cadance is the only pony alive that can properly feed a changeling who has no access to their magic...”

“Your majesties? A letter just came in for you. It’s from Princess Luna of the Equestrian Capital.”

“Oh? I don’t usually get auntie Luna writing to me.” She took the letter from the courier’s hoof, floating it in front of her. “Thank you very much. You may go.”

When the courier bowed out, Cadance ripped open the seal, examining the letter proper.

“What is it, honey?” Shining asked.

“A letter from Princess Luna… she needs my help with something--” Cadance paused. Then she giggled.

“What? What is it?”

She giggled again. “Revenge, Shiny.”

Shining stared blankly. “I don’t follow,”

“Weeelll, do you remember the first time we tried to marry, and a particular changeling queen decided to try to destroy Equestria, and I almost died in a cave?”

Shining shuddered. “Vividly.”

“Of course you do sweetie, I still have nightmares about it! Anyway, it seems that after a third attempted invasion--”

“Wait, a third?? What happened in the second?”

“No idea! But the third attempted invasion went so horribly, Queen bugface is now stuck as a prisoner to Celestia and Luna! On a short leash!”

A small grin made itself known on Shining’s lips. “That’s… great!”

Cadance laughed again, hopping on alternating hooves. “Oh, and that’s not all, my dear! They gave her a rigged crown which means she can’t use her magic! And without her magic, she can’t extract love the way she usually does!”

“So now she’s going to die slowly and painfully?”

“Well honey, while I’m entirely for letting her starve in a cave like I did, it turns out there’s an even better result! I’m the only one who can properly feed a changeling who has no access to their magic!”

Shining’s grin grew wider. “So you’re telling me...”

“...that she’s the only one standing between me and starving to death?!” Chrysalis pulled at her face in agony of the news she had just heard.

“Don’t be so dramatic. There’s always an alternative.”

“No, no you don’t understand!” A indigo glow held her tail firm, dragging her across the floor. “She is the only thing keeping me alive! My enemy is keeping me alive for her amusement!”

“Yeah, and whose fault is that?”

“HER’S!” She screeched.

Luna clicked her tongue. “See, this is why you’re here learning to be responsible, rather than back out there taking care of kids you have no idea how to care for.” When Chrysalis started screaming, Luna took to clamping her magic around her muzzle as well. “I will not have you screaming bloody murder, Chrysalis.”

Chrysalis continued to thrash in violent rage and terror.

“Kibitz, when did my sister schedule court to begin?”

Kibitz flipped a page on his clipboard. “That would be at eleven o'clock, after a leisurely bubble bath.”

“I think I will skip the bubble bath, thank you very much,” Luna chuckled. “At any rate, I doubt I’ll get much more done before court, so I will be in my sister’s chambers… attempting to teach a changeling how to properly rule court. You’re dismissed.”

“Of course, I’ll have our new princess’ meal sent there.”

When Kibitz had walked away, Luna released her hold around Chrysalis’ muzzle. “So… Are you going to behave like a mature pony now or not?”

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”

“I guess not,” Luna sighed. Should it continue like this, it seemed plenty clear that Luna and Chrysalis were not going to have a very good morning,

Author's Notes:

Been a long one, but It's all done. Don't you worry people, this is not one I'll just abandon.

Thanks again to Majora for proofreading my work.