Celestia Does Stuff in Ponyville While Other Things Happen Elsewhere

by Billblok

First published 2nd of March, 2016

An episodical tale of Celestia's vacation in Ponyville while the country tries to fall appart without her.

Things just never seem to settle down for the fair sun princess; even when she intends to make way for things to settle down. Despite three separate princesses and one princess in training, there’s always something that seems to come back to bite her in the but. First it was her previous student showing up with a despicably large superiority complex. Then it was Chrysalis’ threats not being quite as empty as she thought, as she happened to say hello to her sister. Couple those things with the perpetual worry that something else could crawl out of the woodwork, and you’ve got a recipe for a vacation that Celestia is trying really hard--and half failing-- to enjoy.

Will Equestria survive without Celestia? Will she ever find out who her granddaughter is? Will Equestria be able to hold back Cocoon’s attempt at an invasion? Will Tartarus stay locked up long enough for there to be relative peace? Will her old student ever get her slice of humble pie? Probably, but Celestia really doesn’t want to get involved. She’s intent on enjoying her vacation… Even if it kills her.

A story with many different settings that occasionally converge with each other.

Tags will be updated over the story's progression. Cover image will be removed upon artist request.

There are more characters than the character tag will allow, hence the "other" tag.

Ponyville 1: Re-Enrolling a New Student

It was a peaceful early autumn night. Though the Golden Oaks Library was more crowded than it ever usually was, it was nonetheless quiet.

Celestia was enjoying some well deserved rest after a very long forty eight hours. Much had happened in so little time. She recalled how scared her little ponies were, so she enlisted help from Twilight and her friends. Twilight had called her out on a silly plan in hindsight, and she let them take control of the situation. Then it turned out that Chrysalis of all people captured a group of schoolchildren, and she was using her children as leverage against her, without them knowing what they were part of prior. Celestia had exploded at her, effectively declared herself as a goddess, and then had to be pony piled before she would finally calm down. All this had worsened her image with the public (or bettered, depending on who blindly worshipped her or not), so she decided to lay low, but not before Twilight rebuked her thoroughly for her loss of temper, and Luna for making a bad deal with Chrysalis, which they were now bound to just to make sure there was a better image of ponies in general in the eyes of the queen’s nymphs.

Said nymphs were sleeping soundly in the same library as Twilight, her friends and the schoolfoals and teacher were. Queen chrysalis had been left behind for some proper training about how to be a ruler. The nymphs didn’t want anything to do with her, so now they were here. It was all a painful experience for everypony involved, but things were looking up now.

Alas, with a super secret mirror which may or may not lead to another world in the middle of a group of sleeping ponies, it was not meant to last...

A plan. Sunset Shimmer had a brilliant plan. Granted, all of her plans were brilliant, being a student-- sorry, ex student of Princess Celestia.

“Seriously, is this what you dragged us out to? To watch Sandra of all people?!” A rainbow-haired girl griped.

It was really quite simple this plan; it just took a long time to execute. But Sunset was no stranger of the waiting game. Goodness knows that Sunbutt enjoyed playing it when it came to making her a princess.

“Oh relax dear,” A snow white girl chided. “we may not get along, but if Diane of all people has a hunch that something’s up, I’m sure we can all agree that whatever’s wrong needs to be seen.”

“But she’s really bad news, Rarity! The only reason she hasn’t been reported for her freaky crystal crap is because none of us can even touch her. Fluttershy got a black eye just from being there when she was ‘scheming’ to herself! With a psychic laser blast!”

Sunset examined one of the charged gemstones she had brought along with her into this world. Truly, it was one of her most clever schemes. She cooked it up two years into her escape from the palace of Canterlot, into the city of Canterlot. This world had no ambient magic, but when she had went through, she’d remembered that she had a very small reserve of magic, and nopony-- No, No one else did. She figured that she could sneak back through the portal when it opened back up, find something infused with that magic and give herself an edge that these humans didn’t have. What do you know, She grabbed a few piles of gemstones from the royal treasury, took them back with her, and they kept the magic inside them for her use. Now she just had to get the school staff to see reason…

Fluttershy, the nervous yellow skinned girl with pink hair, crouched behind Rarity. “Just yesterday she stuffed me into a locker and put a padlock on it so I was late for every class… Grandma was the only one who found me.”

“Yeah, here’s a question: of all the people who could work in the school, how could she be your grandma? ‘Cuz I don’t see the resemblance.”

“It’s… complicated, Dash.”

“It’s Rainbow.”

“Oh, sorry...”

See, Sunset had been in this primitive school for quite a while. She’d gotten to know how the system worked; but not only that, her regular periods of time in Equestria recharging the magic gems she’d drain every thirty months allowed her to keep notice on things she could use.

“My point is, Pinkie had better have some brilliant idea to put an end to Sunset’s bullying, and this.” Raimona pointed at her neck, which had some strange symbol glowing on it. The others had similar symbols. “I freaking clam up when I try to say anything bad mouthing her, and I’d do anything to stop it.”

“Do ya reckon it’s enough for us ta’ be friends again?” An orange skinned, blond haired girl asked with dripping sarcasm.

“Not a chance, Applejack.”

“Girls, be quiet!” Pinkie hissed, clamping a pink hand over the girls’ mouths.

It was only this recent cycle of the portal opening that enlightened her to the news that Celestia did in fact take on a new student; one who was even the bearer of the Element of magic! It was even at the time for the princess summit! And not only that, Princess Twilight was using it as her crown, making it easy pickings tonight! It was truly a fortunate evening to be Sunset Shimmer. Of course, it was all thanks to her brilliant knowledge as well. Sunset smiled, snickering at a little thought going through her head. “Just one little tiara, and this planet’s mine… and nothing to get in my way before I step through again… Hee, this is such a good day to be Sunset Shimmer, Queen of Equestria...”

Fluttershy whimpered. “R-rachel, is she… laughing?”

“I hear it Flutters...”

“She’s talkin’ about ruling the planet, or somethin’,” Applejack scowled. “What would give Sunsest that idea?”

“Well duh, she’s crazy! Everyone knows that! Except you, apparently.”

“Ah don’t need yer lip, Dash.”

“It’s Rainbow,” Rainbow Dash snarked back.

“Girls!” Pinkie snarled. “Shut up! Do you want her to hear us?!”

“Oh, I’m afraid you’re far too late for that.” Sunset turned around, flashing a mad smile. Her little stalkers gasped in fear. “I was listening the whole time.” She casually tossed one of her gemstones in the air, catching it again. “Between you and I, I think you need some practice whispering. Oh wait!” She clamped her hand over her mouth in mock horror. “You can’t whisper!”

“And just whose fault is that?!” Rainbow growled.

“Oh do I ever feel sorry about it!” She wiped non existent tears from her eyes. “I couldn’t have you conspiring against me while I conquer worlds! You poor things with your hero complexes, somepony really should keep tabs on you all! Can you ever forgive me ruining your fun?”

“Shut up you little--”

Sunset squeezed the gem in her hand, watching in amusement as her glowing hand stopped Rainbow right in the middle of her punch. “Ah ah ah, I wouldn’t do that if I were you! Wouldn’t want to hurt your pretty face and lose your chances at getting any relationships!”

“Yeah? how’s that workin’ out with you an’ Flash?” Jaqueline cut in.

“Flash may have been a companion for a while, but he turned into a liability.” Sunset crossed her arms. “He didn’t like what I was doing, so I dumped him.”

“Sure, you dumped him did ya? ‘Cuz ah’m pretty sure he dumped ya right in the middle of the cafeteria, and y’all ran off--” A bolt of magic shot by right next to her ear, making Jackie flinch.

“You are not in a position to make fun of me, Jacqueline. I don’t just have physical power, I’ve got leverage. I know who your little sister is.”

“You hurt Apple Bloon, and ah swear ah’ll--” Suddenly, the ground fell from beneath the farmgirl as she was lifted up in Sunset’s magic.

“Oh don’t worry yourself over that, Jaqueline; I’m not going to hurt her, provided you behave...” Sunset didn’t have much magic left in that gemstone, but it didn’t matter; she was going to go through the portal anyway, so why not have some fun? Their desperate struggles as they were lifted in the air were quite amusing. “When I come back through this portal… I will have a crown on my head, and you will kneel on the floor and grovel!”

“Over… My dead… Body…!” Rainbow struggled to get the words out, as she was holding them all by their necks.

“Insolent little welp, you’ll need far more than a fiery spirit to stop me!” Sunset snapped back. “I will return with the element of magic, force my will upon the whole bloody student body, imbue each and every one of them with my magical knowledge, that I may lead an army upon this city, usurping its council, marching along the country in a path of conquest until I have brought the capital to its knees, killed your “president”, and secured my rulership as queen of New Equestria!” Sunset tightened her magical grip. “And what will I do next? I will make you suffer, and watch as I. Destroy. Everything!!”

Sunset may or may not have laughed like a maniac schoolgirl. It may have been excessive to reveal her whole “evil plan”, But with how amazing she was, she certainly deserved to indulge herself. Besides, if she didn’t share her brilliant ideas, who would be there to hear them? Now she only needed to make sure they wouldn’t follow her through the portal to stop her.

“She’s… She’s absolutely nuts!” Rainbow squeaked out.

“G-got any other intelligent observations there, Dash?”

“Not a good time for your--” Rainbow’s throat closed up in the magic grip that suspended her.

“Oh, and by the way? That little hateship you all have with each other was my doing. Little lies in forged handwriting do such wonders to break apart friends that could very well have been representatives of harmony. Such a shame that you won’t be able to hug and make up, Because you are going to the hospital with a bad case of ‘paralyzed from the neck down’.” Sunset tightened her grip even further, watching as they all slowly turned as blue as their Rainbow Maned friend. There was a bike rack nearby, perfect for accomplishing her task. “Just one little carefully aimed toss, and it would be all over the news in the morning; you’ll see!” Sunset pulled her arm back, willing the gem in her hand to obey her command…

Nothing happened. Five girls fell to the ground, gasping and choking for air. What happened? Sunset checked the gemstone in her hand. The emerald had lost its glow. She looked at her bag. None of the other gems had any glow either. Yup, all the magic was gone, and with that so to were the wards that she put on herself and those high schoolers. Sunset gaped at the gems, then at her classmates and back at the gems. As five girls stood up, Sunset felt rather hot in her black leather jacket.

She nervously chuckled, pulling at the edge of her collar. “Girls, this is all just a big misunderstanding, right?”

Five girls glared.

“...Right? Girls…?”

Five girls still glared. Pinkie grit her teeth.

Sunset’s grin faltered, replaced by shakey knees. “G-girls, don’t you think that retribution would not be a very g-good idea…?” Five girls stepped forward, Sunset stepped back. “O-okay, I can see where you might th-think so, but it wouldn’t be nice… right? Florence… Flo, y-you’re with me, right?”

Despite the tears streaking down her face, Fluttershy had a look that could kill. The girls stepped forward. Sunset stepped back again.

“G-girls… J-just a sh-sh-shred of m-mercy, y-yeah? I-I mean, I’m not some sort of cause to unite against, r-right? P-please don’t hurt me...”

“Ah don’t know; Rainbow, do ya think we’ll get along after this?” Applejack asked Rainbow with a sinister grin.

“Only if I can get my hands on her ugly jacket,” Rainbow replied.

“Deal.”

“Oh no,” Sunset squeaked. Five girls shot at her in a dead sprint.

“I’ll destroy you!!” Rarity snarled.

“You horrible, horrible puppy kicker!” Fluttershy cried.

“Y’all better run! If Ah catch ya, Ah’m gonna feed ya to the pigs!”

“Not if I get to her first!!” Rainbow added. Pinkie had spoke nothing, seemingly changed into a different person; with flat locks of hair and a sharp knife in her hand that wasn’t quite explainable where it came from.

Sunset did the only thing she could. She ran in terror, tripping over her bag of gems and tumbling through the portal in the side of the statue, giving chase across the dimensions. It was not a good evening to be Sunset Shimmer.

Whether Princess Celestia was enjoying the comfort of her bed within Twilight’s bedroom or not remained to be certain, as the pretty pink-haired princess was not exactly awake to give an informed opinion on the matter. One could assume that she was comfortable, considering that she was curled up in a protective cocoon of blankets; but to tell the truth, the only thing one could conclude was that she wasn’t snoring. The only thing that was visible was her muzzle resting on a pillow in her silent slumber.

But that was not to last, for sometime past midnight when nopony should have been awake at the time, a truly horrendous crash reverberated through the tree house. Celestia jumped, startled awake most unpleasantly. “What--What the hay…?!”

The commotion continued, and Celestia decided that once she heard that screaming, she should probably get up and deal with the issue. So in her haste, she leapt out of her bed, elegantly worming her way out the the blanket cocoon, and flapped her wings in tandem with her strides to make her journey down the stairs that much swifter. When she made it downstairs, what she saw was truly something to behold. Down in the main floor of the library, a war had broken out between five ponies who were trying to stand on their back hooves and one unicorn with an extremely nasty sort of magic.

“Oh, why did she have to show up now??” Celestia despaired.

Sunset Shimmer was a mare with a particular set of skills. Such skills which gave her an edge in battle with her adversaries, skills which would make ponies like her a nightmare to ponies like her enemies-- which if she were honest to herself were the only reason that she was actually alive at the moment. The moment she tumbled out of that portal, she crashed into a bookshelf of all things. When she had gotten her bearings, her pursuers had already bolted through after her, shouting all sorts of bad names, demanding that she show herself. Sunset, smart as she was, did so under cover of books with a flare of her horn, starting a cycle of magic she so elegantly called “equivalent exchange.”

The room fell into a darkness so thick, no pony could even see their hooves in front of their faces. Then sunset fired out a gleaming, burning silver beam from her horn made out of the moonlight she gathered from her darkness spell, which barely nicked Rarity’s hair.

“Bullcrap,” she hissed, feeling the burn of hot magic from her horn. With all eyes on her, some in terror and other in aggression, she barely managed to avoid Pinkie with her wicked right hook before firing off another shot, this one releasing the heat from her horn in a burst of fire.

“Holy crap!!” Rainbow shrieked, “She doesn’t have her gems, how is she using her psychic powers?!”

“Because we’re in my home turf now sweetheart!” Sunset shot back. “I don’t need any gems when there’s magic literally everywhere in this world!” With the chill gathered in her horn, Sunset knew the next step, charging up for another shot that would hopefully freeze Pinkie in her tracks in the literal sense. However, Rarity had snuck in behind her, and she had to use the negative energy to erect a hard icy shield, blocking her savage kick. The pale white girl had no idea of her earth pony strength, so it was fortune that made the shield instead of break under the force simply form a web of cracks.

In a cocky grin, Sunset casually broke the shield the rest of the way, touching Rarity’s nose with her own. “Missed me, darling.” She felt the energy of Rarity’s kick resonating through her horn. Of all the little parts of equivalent exchange, kinetic energy was her favorite to use, because she could channel it just about anywhere.

“Oh dear,” Rarity squeaked. Sunset breathed in deeply, Letting loose a noise so loud, it was more like a shockwave and couldn’t be properly understood as a clear word. (1) She watched with satisfaction as the white earth pony smashed hard into the wall, falling flat on the floor, dead unconscious. Sunset smiled. One down, four to go. Sunset turned around to face the rest of the group that chased after her… and came face to face with Rarity… again. This time with a horn apparently.

“Okay, how did you get a horn?”

Horned-Rarity snarled. “We were here the whole time, and you’re destroying my best friend’s house!!”

Sunset was legitimately confused. “...And how does that relate to you getting a horn? I mean, it’s really a good choice to be born a unicorn, but--”

“‘A good choice’??”

“Well yeah, unicorns are obviously superior to the other pony races with their magic and stuff.”

Apparently she said something wrong, because horned-Rarity shot a blast of magic at her face. It hurt, but the release of kinetic energy left a void of what could be described as “non-kinetics”, allowing that magic to not break her nose and simply pass through her harmlessly as electricity. Nevertheless, she flinched, wiping her nose. “That… was your last free shot.” She charged up her her horn with electricity, ready to clobber Rarity a second time.

Unfortunately, a rare case of foolishness demonstrated that Sunset didn’t take enough time to focus on just who was where, and what they were doing.

A pair of pink ponies tackled her to the ground. Her electrical magic shot harmlessly into the ceiling. Somepony shouted “NOW!!” and a great weight fell upon her, rendering any opportunity to cast spells impossible.

“Get off me!! I am the future crown princess of Equestria!” Sunset thrashed underneath the pile of ponies. “The very ground I step upon is not worthy of touching my hooves!! How dare you pile on me like this!!”

“You know, this is kinda my home, right? And you’re sort of intruding,” An unfamiliar voice replied calmly.

“I will own every square inch of this country, you own nothing!!”

A purple hoof came into view. She recognized that purple hoof. Sunset looked up, straining to arch her neck beneath the heavy weight. Sunset knew immediately from the wings and horn on said purple pony.

“Princess Twilight, I presume?” She growled.

Twilight casually waved back, smiling with unreasonable enthusiasm. “Hi! That’s indeed my name! And you are?”

“Going to rip your pretty little wings off your back… and bucking eat them.”

Twilight flinched back. “Yikes; what’s your problem?”

“Eat them!!” Sunset flailed her hooves.

“She’s off her rocker, that’s what,” Applejack said, fluttering her wings.

“Eyyup,” Applejack agreed.

“Oh great, there are two of them as well?!” Sunset fumed. “Maybe I’ll just eat that one’s wings too! Then I’ll be a double alicorn and kick all your fat butts!!”

“For pete’s sake, somepony just shut her up!!” One Rainbow shouted.

“MAKE ME!!” Sunset bellowed. “YOU HAVE NO RIGHT!!”

“Oh my gosh she’s scaring me...” One Fluttershy whimpered.

“You should be ashamed!” A Pinkie scolded her. “My daddy would have paddled you if you were his daughter!”

“Shut up!” Sunset hollered.

“No, you shut up!” The other Pinkie parroted

“I refuse!!”

“You shut up right now or I’ll be very cross!”

“Make me!!”

“Alright, this has gone on LONG ENOUGH,” A distinctly authoritative voice sounded out somewhere to sunset’s left. All ponies turned to see who was talking. “Just what is going on here? Right now I see two Pinkie pies, two Rainbow Dashes, Two Fluttershys, two Applejacks and two Raritys.” As she descended down the stairs, Sunset wilted. “And I see according to Twilight... there is an intruder in the library, and I’m rather cross at that intruder.”

Sunset, as incredible and intelligent as she was, was rather starting to regret her life choices, and was shaking like a leaf. “No, nono it can’t be… It can’t be; you can’t be here of all places… I-I timed my arrival perfectly to get the element of magic, how could you be here Sunbutt??”

Celestia quirked an eyebrow, clearly unamused by her creative nickname. “That’s not an alias I’m familiar with, Sunset.”

“H-how?!”

“Sunset Shimmer… my least faithful student...”

“Ouch,” One of the Rainbows chuckled. Horned Rarity gave her the stink eye.

“Two things: First, you really need to learn how to be more quiet if you’re ever going to do something like steal the element of magic. Secondly, the elements of harmony have been returned to where they were grown in the first place.”

“...What?” Sunset squeaked.

“Sunset shimmer… please meet me on the upper floor, would you?”

Sunset ducked her head down. “...I refuse.”

“Sunset, you should really stay on my good side.”

“W-what good side?”

Celestia sighed, igniting her horn. Suddenly Sunset felt a very sharp tug on her right ear. She yelped as she was pulled by her precious ear out of the pony pile. “You have been a very bad filly Sunset; but it has been quite a while since I’ve seen you, and I’ve had plenty of time to cool my jets as it were.”

“Ouch ouch-- Sunbutt stop it I hate you--” Sunset fussed, fighting the tug of Celestia’s magic.

“Cooperate, and I won’t tug on your ear as hard.” At this, Sunset decided to temporarily cease fighting on account of saving her energy for a point in time where she could properly get the drop on her. “Twilight, girls, copies of girls, if you would please follow me?”

As the mane six and their clones walked their way upstairs, four of them hobbling on legs they weren’t used to and one simply draped across another one’s back, Spike watched them close the door, then turned to the ponies and changelings which had only just stopped clinging to each other for dear life. “I don’t really think that anypony’s going to be sleeping after that commotion… So I’m gonna head to the kitchen and maybe make some tea, coffee and donuts… Anypony want some?”

The group stared back at him.

“Can I get a show of hooves maybe?”

“Um… What’s a donut?” A small, thin changeling with long ears asked.

“It’s a round, ring shaped piece of dough which ya cook up, add sugar and frosting and sprinkles and stuff.” He smiled. “Very sweet, you’ll like it.”

“No it’s not.”

Spike gave the changeling a look. “...Lepidos, is it?” Lepidos nodded. Spike groaned, recalling what Twilight warned him about. “Right… Lepidos on what basis do you have to believe that donuts aren’t how I described them?”

“Because ponies lie.”

Spike was amused by the oversight. “Do I look like a pony, Lepidos?”

“You got a muzzle like one...”

“I’m a baby dragon.”

“No you’re not.”

“Look--” Spike walked forward, palm to his face. “Ponies stand on four legs. I stand on two legs. Ponies have flat teeth. I have sharp teeth. I can breath fire--” Spike spit out a small burst of flame. “Ponies can’t. I’m a baby dragon.”

“No you’re--”

Spike was getting sick of the changeling nymph. He clamped one of his claws around her muzzle, firm enough to make her stop being contradictory, but gentle enough not to hurt. “Lepidos, do you want a donut?” After some measure of pondering, Lepidos nodded. “Great, you’ll enjoy them; Pinkie promise!” Spike slipped on his favorite apron and walked out of the main library to fire up a kettle.

Celestia slowly dragged her least faithful student up the stairs into the library’s living area proper, the pony pressing her hooves into the floor the whole way. When she made there, Celestia let go of Sunset’s ear, the unicorn almost immediately jumped her in an attempt to knock her block off.

“Really Sunset?” Celestia muttered as blocked her magic shot, threw her down on the floor and sat on her.

“Get offa me!” Sunset snarled.

Celestia adjusted her position to spread out her entire weight on Sunset, stopping her wild spellcasting with a flick on her horn. “Sunset, I told you that it would be better to stay on my good side.” Celestia lay down completely. “But if you’re going to keep on fussing, I will restrain you. Are you going to behave?”

“Bite me.”

“No thanks.” Celestia tucked her legs beneath her, patting Sunset on her head much to her resentment. Then she turned her head to the other ponies, situated on Twilight’s bed and the guest bed. “Right then… I am Princess Celestia del Sol of the immortal empire of the solar diarchy; Lady of dawn, our merciful ruler eternal, generous, kind and all powerful, Queen over all her light shines on and warms, the never ending.” Celestia took a long breath after spitting out that mouthful. “But even I don’t use my full title very often at all; so for you all, you may call me ‘Tia’, which is ‘Celestia’ for short.

“So, given the very loud noise in the middle of the night, and the six extra ponies in this house than there were once before, I would suspect that you all came through the portal, Sunset trying to do something against you, and you following in pursuit. is that correct?”

Some of the new ponies nodded. “Um, not to be rude...” The small yellow unicorn spoke up, “But… aren’t we supposed to introduce ourselves too?”

Oops. To be fair, it was very late, so Celestia did not have the cognitive power to remember to be polite at the time. “Oh… Oh yes, of course! Please, do tell me your names.”

“Um, my name is Fluttershy...” The butter yellow unicorn said. Like Equestria's Fluttershy, that pony sort of hid herself in her mane… and near the back of the other clone ponies. This one reminded her of how Twilight first described Fluttershy when they met.

“Applejack; nice ta meet ya.” The orange pegasus tipped her hat. Celestia had to do a double take to realize that she did not steal Applejack’s hat, because they looked very similar to each other. That and even the way they talked was identical.

“Rainbow Dash, Rainbow for short.” The blue furred unicorn crossed her hooves. This one didn’t have much at all different from Rainbow Dash, and if she had wings, she suspected that she too would be flying regularly.

“I’m Pinkamena Dianne Pie, But all my friends call me Pinkie!” The pink pegasus chirped, excitedly fluttering her wings. “And that’s Rarity, the prettiest of us!” She pointed at the out cold white earth pony. “But I don’t think she’ll be able to talk for a little while.”

Celestia was so distracted by the poor combination of Pinkie’s personality with pegasus wings, it took a moment to register what Dianne actually said. “Yes, I can see that… I do hope she’s alright.” No good can come from such a volatile mix of personality and race… Then again, two Pinkies has always been one too many.

“I already checked up on her! No bumps, no bruises, nothing!” Pinkie nodded in self-affirmation. “But you know, we look a lot similar to you… in some way… You know, what with having the same coat as she does.” Pegasus-Pinkie pointed to Pinkie.

“Yeah, and your mane is just out of control as mine!” Pinkie added.

“Yeah, weird.”

“Weirder still, our names are exactly alike!”

“You’re kidding!”

“Nopey-dopey! Absolutely not!” Pegasus-Pinkie pointed to her friends one by one. “Fluttershy and Fluttershy, Rainbow and Rainbow, Rarity and Rarity, Applejack and Applejack! What are the chances of that??”

Dianne shiverred. “Ooooh, my little earth-pony mind can't fathom the odds of--”

“If I could get back on topic,” Celestia interrupted. “What exactly did she try to do?”

“She’s a big meanie pants!” Pinkie shouted, flaring her wings.

Celestia tried to contain her giggling at the somewhat childish name calling. Only Pinkie could make being a victim of bullying amusing. “Could you be a little bit more specific?”

“Well for one she threatened mah family,” Applejack said.

“She stuffed me in a locker...” Whimpered Fluttershy.

“She claimed that I dye my hair!” Rainbow shouted.

“And when nopony was looking...” Pinkie growled, holding her wing up to her face conspiratorially, “Sunset Shimmer snuck into my workplace… and stole forty cupcakes!!” Her eyes narrowed. “Four tens. Terrible dark arts.”

“Worse yet,” Rainbow complained, “She used her freaky psychic powers so that we couldn’t tell Principal Celestia how much of a brat she was, drove a wedge between our friendship, and then she had the nerve to try and snap our spines so that we’d be paralyzed from the neck down!”

The actual ponies gasped at those remarks. Celestia rolled her eyes. “I’m really sorry about that my little ponies… but if that did come to pass, I can assure you that I’d have personally fixed any damage she might have done to you. Because she doesn’t want to act responsibly, it rests on me to be the responsible one in her stead.”

Sunset protested. “Wait, how do you know they’re telling you the truth!?”

“I don’t,” Celestia admitted. “I’m just know you never tell the truth.”

“How could you?! They’re lying!! Lies and slander! I’ve always been a good girl!”

Celestia shook her head. This pony who had once been her student was proving herself to be as arrogant and selfish as ever. Proof of another mistake, she supposed. But that was then, and this was now, and when Celestia had the opportunity presented to her to fix said mistake, she was all too eager to seize it. “Sunset, the last time I saw you, I had expelled you because our relationship had turned sour. You were impatient, aggressive, and rude. Not two minutes earlier, you were attacking these ponies, and you attacked me. So is it’s really very reasonable for me to think that you were bullying these poor girls. Now what do you have to say for yourself?”

Sunset scowled at her.

“Sunset… what do you have to say?”

“I should have broken their spines earlier,” Sunset mumbled.

As one could reasonably expect, Celestia was livid. However, she did not let it show until a crucial point. “I’m really sorry for the way she’s been behaving, girls. If any of you want anything from me at all regarding yourselves or her, I’m open to help. In the meantime,” Celestia gave sunset a meaningful look, “Sunset and I will be having a very long talk.” Several relieved sighs fell out of the other ponies’ mouths. some of them were even teary eyed. Well that went better than expected, she thought to herself. It might have been a little bit more of a problem if they demanded more out of me. “Now, I’m sure you all have some place you call home and you should at the very least be there in the morning.”

Agreement sounded from all the ponies present. Applejack graciously offered to carry Earth-pony Rarity back to the portal. They all said their thanks as they left one by one, but Unicorn-Fluttershy lingered.

“Flutter-- Other Fluttershy, is there something you wanted?”

“Um, well… It’s just… What’s to stop her from being mean again…?”

Celestia’s heart bled for the pony. It was tragic, but nervous or shy ponies like her and Her own Fluttershy were pretty much destined to be an easy target for bullies solely because they were too fearful to fight back.

“Oh yeah, this is all just a minor setback Florence,” Sunset sneered. “I’ll find a way out of this little trap, and I’ll put it upon myself to kill your little pets right in front of--”

“Sunset, shut up.” Celestia snapped. But alas, the damage was already done. Unicorn-fluttershy fell to the floor, bawling. “Oh come here sweetheart...” Celestia picked up the pony, pulling her tight in a gentle hug. “Shh, it’s alright, the mean pony won’t get at your pets.”

“You (hic)-- Y-you mean it?”

“I absolutely mean it! I’m gonna make sure she doesn’t bring any gemstones into the portal either next morning.”

“B-but-- (hic)-- But what if she does??”

“If it should come to that, I will personally intervene.”

“...P-promise?”

“Pinkie promise.” Those little words seemed to calm her down enough that she could walk her over to the portal. Then with all the grace of a butterfly, she hopped through, leaving only a rippling surface behind. But not before getting a quick hug while she was off guard. Florence was an oddly sneaky one for affection.

Business done and foreign beings comforted and escorted back home, Celestia had only one more thing to do.

Spike had only just finished handing out pastries and warm beverages to all the ponies/changelings that had decided to stay up because they were already awake. This meant that he was all done in the kitchen, and she could grab something particularly useful. She opened up one of the cupboards, rifling around in it.

“Princess, what’re y’all doin?” Asked Applejack.

“I’m looking for a wooden spoon, that’s what.”

“What? Why?” Pinkie inquired.

“Because Tia’s gonna whoop somepony’s behind, that’s why!” Applejack chuckled. “With that story ah heard from Jackie, I’d say she’s got it comin’!”

“What??” Fluttershy squeaked.

“Might ah suggest the flat end of a brush?”

“No, don’t!” Fluttershy tried to dissuade the princess, but her voice failed to carry.

“Thank you very much every pony, but I think I know a little bit more about physical punishment than you do.”

“The bare hoof had always worked for me, why do you need a brush?” Pinkie asked.

Applejack crossed her hoof. “a brush has a lit’l larger surface area, so it stings more but does less damage.”

“Oooh, I see!” Pinkie turned to Rainbow Dash. “Dashie, how were you spanked when you were little?”

“Just with a wing,” was Rainbow’s reply.

“How often?”

Rainbow dash blushed heavily. “W-why the hay does that matter?!” Pinkie just laughed.

Twilight put her two cents in. “I don’t see the point of spanking; My dad just confiscated my books.”

“It was always the apple family way,” Applejack defended.

“It’s mean...” Fluttershy mumbled.

Applejack raised an eyebrow. “It worked. Y’all got a better idea?”

“Um… just a time out is fine, really...”

Applejack glanced at her… then shrugged. “...Well, ah guess it worked, so who am I to judge?”

“My little ponies,” Celestia cut in. “As riveting a discussion this is, I’m about to do something I don’t want to do, and it’s not fun for me.”

“Sorry!” Said all ponies present in unison. Celestia shook her head, pulling out her particular instrument of justice. She was about to march upstairs with it in hoof, when somepony pulled on her mane.

“What is it now… Yes, Pinkie Pie?”

“Remember what we said, right?” Pinkie reminded her. “You can punish anypony you’re responsible for--”

“Yes yes I know, within reason; my memory’s not that shot.” (2) Celestia marched herself up the stairs with a mix of will and hesitation. And just in time too, because Sunset had managed to open the latch to the window with her hooves, and was just about to dive out. Celestia flared her horn, snatching the unicorn out of thin air. She flailed her hooves around, only just finding purchase on the window frame; purchase that was not very stable for her hooves, as Celestia’s magic simply dragged her away from the frame, leaving a pair of hoof marks in it. Despite the futility of the act, Sunset still tried to get away by grabbing on to the blanket of the bed by said window, pulling it up and off.

“Sunbutt why can’t I ever get away from you?!”

“Oh, I know who’s going to be a sunbutt when I’m done,” Celestia growled, waving her beating device.

Sunset gulped. “No… No, you’re kidding.”

“Sunset, my least faithful student...” she began as she held out the wooden spoon.

“Stop calling me that…!”

“You’re right, I made a mistake in the way I taught you… and honestly, I’m glad you told me so.” Celestia set sunset down firmly on the floor, and when she tried to scramble away, pinned her with a hoof. “Sometimes, I’m too lenient, other times I railroad my students to one path.”

“No… No stop it… You’re a monster…!” The unicorn was starting to squirm.

“In this particular case however, I should have realized the way I was trying to make you understand your mistakes was not sinking in, and making me more frustrated. We’ve been seperated for a while, and I’ve had plenty of time to figure out that you weren’t receptive to shouting matches. So now I’m changing up my methods.”

“No no… please don’t… you can’t do that, it’s un-ponylike!”

“Sunset,” Celestia scolded with a deathly calm. “If you’re going to act like a spoiled brat and a bully, you’re going to be treated like a spoiled brat and a bully.” Sunset flinched as Celestia brushed aside her tail. “Which means you’re going to be spanked like the spoiled brat and bully you are.”

“No!”

For a brief moment, Celestia faltered, looking at the teary eyes of this unicorn that she had at her mercy. She could tell that it was going to hurt for her… but she also had no reason to believe that she’d stop bullying if she didn’t do it. So she squeezed her eyes shut. “I’m sorry Sunset, this is for your own good.”

“No please not the spoon I’m sorry--!”

Sunset got a sunbutt as a series of loud thwacks echoed in the library. Celestia heard from downstairs a collective groan of sympathetic pain. Truly, Sunset was done a grave misjustice, and in her righteous anger, she fled from the vile wooden spoon and into the far corner of the library bedroom. There she pouted and fumed, denying that Celestia brought her to tears.

Celestia was not having any of that. She stood up from the floor and picked Sunset up with a leg. She made no resistance as she was set down on the guest bed, large wing wrapped around her.

Sunset sniffled. “I hate you...”

“I’m sure you do… Sunset, do you know why I used the spoon?”

“Because you hate me...”

“Nooo,” Celestia corrected. “I used the spoon because you have been behaving childish and unreasonable, like a five year old who did not get the toy she wanted and threw a temper tantrum.”

Sunset said nothing, choosing instead to turn away.

“You understand that that sort of attitude is not something that-- should you become a princess-- would be appreciated by your future subjects, right?” Again, sunset refused to talk, continuing to sniffle. “Sunset, talk to me.”

“I will be a princess,” Sunset mumbled.

“And if you’re going to make that commitment, you’ll need a change in your attitude.”

“I’m perfectly fine.”

“Sunset, I still have that spoon.” Sunset covered her bottom reflexively. Celestia felt somewhat sorry for what she did, but she understood it was for her own good. “Okay… may I talk more?” At Sunset’s nod, she did just that. “Alrighty then… Do you know why I took you on as a student in the first place?”

“B-because I was special?”

“In the magical scheme of things, yes. You are in fact set apart from many others.”

Sunset smiled, pleased by the stroking of her ego. “Oh yes, I’m certainly all that.” Her prideful statement was somewhat diminished by her burning bottom.

“I also had chose you because you were bold and ambitious.”

“Of course.” She turned her nose up into the air.

“That, and I was sure with how you were not afraid to show points for improvement in others, you would be a great input for me-- no, for us.”

“If that’s the case...” Sunset replied bitterly. “Then why the hay haven’t I become a princess yet??”

“Because, Sunset, you are not ready.”

“But I am ready!” Sunset whined, holding her tail to her chest.

“No you are not. Look at it this way… When I pick out ponies for the royal guard, I look for the ones who will not blindly obey any order given to them because it’s their duty, and haven’t enlisted because they wanted the thrill of killing somepony. What you saw in that mirror scared me, because do you know who else thought they could have it all?”

Sunset gulped, shaking her head.

“Sombra, who felt it was his fate and is now nothing but his very own horn, Nightmare Moon, a magical parasite born of my own sister’s resentment and was destroyed as we know it by the elements of harmony, Queen Chrysalis was beaten thrice, first by the power of the very thing she used to get sustenance, secondly at the hooves of my own faithful student, and when she still thought she could take Equestria...”

“...Y-you killed her?”

“No Sunset, I let her face a demonstration of my full power, and left her a shadow of herself. Queen Chrysalis is now no better off than an indentured servant, under my sister’s rule.” At this, Sunset whimpered, finally seeming to get the picture. Celestia pulled her closer. “Do you understand why I don’t approve of ambition with no kindness or humility to restrain it?”

“W-why would you kill anypony for wanting to lead a country? P-please don’t kill me...”

Celestia paused. Then again, maybe she didn’t quite get it yet. Oh well, the great wall of Chinneigh was not built in a day… “Sunset, I’m not going to kill you. In fact, killing you is the last thing on my mind, are we clear on that?”

“Prove it.” Celestia hugged her. Predictably she flailed around in an effort to fight her way out of the grip. “Not like that-- not like that!!”

“Well how else am I supposed to prove that I’m not going to kill you??”

“I don’t know, just not that!”

Celestia deadpanned. “Just how many ponies who have hugged you tried to kill you?” Sunset opened her mouth to offer a rebuttal, but after realizing she had none, allowed it to be shut with Celestia’s hoof, dropping her ears. “That’s what I thought. Look Sunset, I know how much you don’t like me, but I recently got an opening for a new student, and I would like you to fill that opening if you’re--”

“No.”

“If you would at least reconsider--”

“No!”

“...What will it take for me to convince you to go ahead with this?”

Sunset shrugged. “Dunno… make me a princess right now.”

Celestia fell a hint of a headache coming on. “That’s kinda the point of making you my student, Sunset.”

Sunset’s short patience was wearing thin already, much to Celestia’s displeasure. “Give my my wings, Sunbutt!”

Celestia infuriatingly ground her teeth at the nickname. That name was really starting to grate on her, but she’d probably be able to correct that when she got her back as a student. She had to actively remind herself that she was here to give her a chance, not throw her back through the Erised fo rorrim and break it behind her. Thus she maintained her facade of gentle patience in the hopes it would become authentic. “I understand your wishes to be a princess, Sunset; but if I were to give you a set of wings right now, what exactly would you do with them?”

Well, that seemed to work, Celestia smiled at Sunset’s hesitation. “...I’d flaunt them, obviously.”

“Of course you would, but after you grew tired of flaunting them, what would you do then?”

Sunset gaped. “Uhm-- I would-- I just… What’re we talking about again?”

Gotcha, Celestia smiled. “My dear, dear sunset...” Celestia said condescendingly, endearingly rubbing her head with a hoof. “A pony needs to remember sometimes that an ambition for a goal without a plan after accomplishing said goal is like a dog chasing a pony cart. A dog doesn’t know what they’ll do when they’ve caught it, yet they chase it nonetheless, because the idea of chasing it is appealing.” She touched Sunset’s nose, watching her cross her eyes in a confused way before settling back on her gaze. “Sunset Shimmer chases after a set of wings, not knowing what she’ll do when she’s caught them, but chases them nonetheless, because the idea of chasing them is appealing.

“So Sunset… are you a dog chasing pony carts, or a pony who wants to better herself and share the responsibility of a country?”

It was only five seconds later that Sunset had her answer.

“Guess who’s gonna be the next big thing!!” Sunset’s loud voice echoed through the whole library.

Twilight’s hoof fell across her face in utter exasperation. “Sunset, you realize that it’s way too early to be yelling so loud in a library of all things, right?!”

If Sunset had actually heard her, she did not show any sign of it, instead continuing to gloat as she bounded down the stairs. “That’s right! I’m gonna be the next big thing! Me, Sunset Shimmer, best student in the history of ever to Princess Celestia Del Sol of the Immortal Empire of--”

“Enough,” Celestia called down, cutting the new student off from her little gloating spree. Sunset visibly wilted at the rebuke, taking the last four steps in a much more dignified manner.

Twilight was unimpressed. “So… Celestia actually gave you another chance? I would have figured that after that thrashing, you would have crawled home never to be seen again.”

Sunset scowled. “Just what’s that supposed to mean, Twinkle Starbutt?”

Twilight pulled out some coins, handing them to Applejack. “It means I lost thirty bits on that bet.”

Sunset felt insulted. “What? You made a bet?!”

“Yeah, I know. I’ve got the worst of luck.”

“You should have made a bet in my favor!”

“Ah did,” Applejack replied, crossing her hooves. “Somepony’s gotta be the optimist… so yer welcome.”

“Great, so I only got any sort of support from the mud pony...” Sunset muttered under her breath.

“That’s a little speciesist,” Twilight scolded. “And to put it in perspective, ‘mud pony’ strength is one third of being an alicorn princess… And I know a friend who enjoys covering herself in mud.”

“It’s a special mix of Ash and nutrients, not mud,” Rarity protested.

“That’s what they all say,” Twilight replied with a knowing chuckle. “Changing the subject, what made you go back?”

Whatever offense Sunset had felt was buried in her ego, as Twilight had seen with her quick change of demeanor. Little worrying, but then again she was still just as transparent as a piece of glass. She regaled a story that Celestia supposedly told her about what she had done when she left through the mirror portal. According to her, Celestia had sat in wait in front of that portal for three days straight for her to come back, never leaving, save to eat, drink and go to the bathroom. And now that she returned, Celestia had fell to her hooves, begging and pleading for her to come back and be her princess--

“Sunset...” Twilight chided. “We heard Celestia spanking you, and we saw her carrying a spoon up there to do so.”

Sunset stopped in her tracks. “Uh… You did?”

“Yup, so did everypony else.”

Sunset dropped her head, grumbling at her embarrassment. “Fine then… Sunbutt made a point about my ambitions being like a dog chasing pony carts, so I--”

“Aw shoot,” Applejack muttered.

“What?!”

“Just lost forty to Rarity.”

Rarity accepted the forty bits with a dainty hug. “Can’t win them all, dear. Just goes to say that Celestia doesn’t always need to make a big display of power, pose dramatically and all.”

“Ah thought the odds were in my favor… but there ya go; by yerself a pretty scarf or something.”

“Or the fabric to make a pretty scarf, I suppose?”

Sunset snarled. Nopony seemed to notice.

“So,” Rainbow addressed the elephant in the room. “Now that this student that we had no idea about beforehoof is back to being a student, who’s going to let her crash on the couch?”

“I was about to ask the same thing,” Celestia concurred. “It is always a little important that my students have a proper place to stay at night… if she doesn’t have one already.”

“...I do have one,” Sunset defended.

Celestia raised an eyebrow. “Do you now?” Sunset nodded. “Is it a house?” Sunset shook her head. “Some apartment?” Sunset shook again. “Crashing at a friend’s house” Another shake. “...Homeless shelter?” Sunset frowned, shaking her head once more. “Sunset, if you’re living under a bridge or something...”

“It’s not a bridge, I just live in an abandoned warehouse.”

Celestia nodded in understanding. “Sunset… I cannot in good conscience allow you to live alone in an abandoned warehouse.”

“I’m fine,” Sunset muttered.

“No Sunset, being “fine” will not help you. What would happen if you got sick, with nopony to take care of you? What if that warehouse collapsed on you, and got you hurt?”

“I said I’m fine.”

Celestia completely ignored her. “Girls, do you by any chance have some spare lodging for my new student? I would consider letting her stay in Canterlot, but I’d really rather stay away from there for a while, because I don’t want to get caught in the inevitable backlash from Luna’s announcement in the morning.”

Six ponies looked at each other, hoping that one of them would speak up before they had to. Eventually getting sick of the silence, Applejack spoke up. “Ah’m afraid I’m gonna have ta decline, yer highness; ah got all them nymphs ta take care of, and ah can’t exactly try ta keep her in line on the weekends as well. Pretty sure she wouldn’t want ta be put to work on a ‘mud pony’ farm anyhow.”

“Something we can agree on,” Sunset added. “I guess that means I’m on my own--”

“Fluttershy, you take care of animals, right?”

“What the hay are you implying, Sunbutt?!”

“Do you think that you can let Sunset bed down on your couch or something?” Fluttershy simply squeaked out an excuse that hit above audible frequency. It was clear that she didn’t want to house her out of fear. So Celestia moved on to another pony. “Okay then. Rainbow, you’ve got a spot for her?”

“I dunno,” Rainbow answered, “Can she fly?”

“I should have been able to by now,” Sunset snarked.

“Right, of course.” Celestia blinked, wiping her eyes. Stupid question. “It’s late, I should have thought of that. Pinkie?”

“Yeppers!” Pinkie chirped.

“Oh, so that’s a yes?”

“Nope!” Pinkie smiled sympathetically. “Sorry, but the Cakes are too busy taking care of their kids to afford a third mouth to feed!”

“Oh? What about you?”

“I pay for myself!” Pinkie beamed, then scarfed a donut as Spike came by with another tray. Celestia nodded. there was only one other pony then.

“Rarity, I don’t suppose you’re available?”

Rarity sighed. “I’m afraid not Princess, Sweetie belle--bless her little heart-- is just too much trouble for one of me to handle all by her lonesome already.”

Sunset was going to make a move to put Rarity in her place, but a white wing stopped her from doing anything. “That’s a shame... I’m sorry Twilight, but I have to have Sunset live here.”

“I said I’m fine!” Sunset yelled, trying to fight out of her grip. But Celestia wasn’t having any of it. She held on tighter, but still gently. Eventually, Sunset gave up again.

Twilight however was plenty enough enthusiastic to have her. “It’s alright Pr-- Celestia! It’d be nice to have another friend around for a change-- especially one with experience as a student!”

Sunset had to protest. “Don’t I get a say in this?!”

“No Sunset, you don’t,” Celestia calmly answered. “You already made it quite clear that you didn’t want to stay here, but I cannot let you stay all alone in some abandoned building.” She smiled, nuzzling her. “Besides, don’t you want to sleep in a nice and warm bed for once?”

“Don’t touch me.”

“Speaking of which, from what I heard from the mirror world counterparts, you’ve been enrolled at a school for a little while, haven’t you?”

“Have not.”

“Oh, so you just walked into a school building to shove an innocent person into a locker?” Sunset tightened her mouth, refusing to answer. “Yeah, I thought you didn’t. Sunset, it’s a school night I believe, and with you being the only one among us not traumatized by what happened early on tonight, I think you should take advantage of what little night we’ve got left.”

Sunset whimpered. “Please don’t...” Celestia paid no heed, simply grabbing the pony in her magic, setting her down on her back and carrying her back upstairs. Sunset was surprisingly cooperative for hating her guts. That was a start, she supposed. When she made it to the bedroom, she untangled the sheets on the guest bed, tucking her new student in. “This is so not fair…!” she whined.

“I know, I know… But I don’t think you’d function at all if you were to sleep in class, hmm?” Sunset said nothing, but for Celestia, she didn’t have to. She fluffed her pillow, stroked her hair, and planted a kiss on her forehead. “Good night Sunset… I look forward to teaching you when you get home tomorrow.”

“Blech.” Sunset faked a gag. Rolling her eyes, Celestia trotted downstairs once more now that everything was in order. This first crisis went by pretty smoothly, and better yet, she got Sunset back into her life! Forget any anger she had for her, she was giddy with the excitement of a new method of teaching, perhaps with a more hands on, sparring approach; because she looked like she would make an excellent guardian princess. That, and she was very impressed by that new magic she had created, despite it being used against ponies who were simply tired of being pushed around by her. Especially that weaponized Canterlot Voice. She had to ask about that.

Celestia saw the resident purple dragon walking by with the last of his goodies. You know what, I think Sunset gets a midnight snack… It’s only fair! “Hey Spike, would you be so kind to get Sunset a donut? And maybe some hot chocolate if it’s still warm?”

“Sure. Just don’t blame me if the little jerk decides to make a Spike-shaped hole in the wall.”

Author's Notes:

Edit note: Changed all the human names to their pony names. I actually think that the whole scene is even more amusing by using the same names, emphasizing the confusion of having two of the (just) same pony in one room!

So here we are, it's the start of a something. A something similar, a something diferent. A something with a very different format to Fed Up. With any luck, all my wild twists I have planned for the story don't break its neck, and whatever humor I make is just as funny as I think it is. Discovery writing is both a blessing and a curse.

References:
(1): It was suspected to be the gibberish phrase“Fus ro pah”, however the last intonation has a large amount of debate behind it. Sunset has never revealed the phrase in its completion under the pretense of “trade secret”.(2): see “I am goddess…?” in the previous story. /story/49630/12/fed-up/i-am-goddess

Canterlot 1: A fine, fair and Luxurious misery

Poor Chrysalis. Poor sad, miserable, misunderstood, pathetic Chrysalis. Just what had she done to deserve this? Well, she knew exactly what she had done to deserve it, but it made her feel better to ask that.

And ask it she did; to herself, to the guards posted outside, to the infuriating crown latched on her head, and into the pillow which she could have sworn that she screamed into for the first part of the night.

The answer was always the same though: “Because you were”, or ”Because you acted like an idiot, Chrysalis.” Then Princess Luna put her to sleep like some newborn. How freaking humiliating. But yeah, that was just about right. Her grave error from the very beginning had set her back several paces.

Perhaps even back to imprisonment.

Oh, who was she kidding? Of course this was imprisonment. But that was okay, a setback is a setback no matter how you slice it; and if she knew anything about setbacks, it was that they were only temporary. Chrysalis was not utterly defeated, and by whatever being changeling peasants were deluded into worshiping as a god or goddess, she had vengeance to carry out against Celestia, and that vengeance would instill her with strength to rise up--

Chrysalis had attempted to boldly stand up, only to find her legs stuck. No matter, let’s try that again… She attempted her mental monologue again. Chrysalis would have vengeance, which would instill her with strength to rise up--

...

Ahem.

Again, her legs refused to obey her dramatic flair. She tested each of her four limbs to see if they actually were responding. Each one in tandem wiggled, proving that it wasn’t that they didn’t move, but rather that they were obstructed. Chrysalis had decided that her monologue could wait until she got untangled. So with all the understanding required for the situation, she took to action with the only method she used when subtlety didn’t work: violence.

Chrysalis thrashed in an attempt to loosen the blankets firmly wrapped around her. This was a plenty effective enough strategy when she ruled as queen of her hive back home. She did tear them up thoroughly, but it wasn’t her job to replace them, so she never felt any guilt about it. She knew that the same thing applied here as well, so she still wasn’t worried. At least, she wasn’t worried until she figured out that with her smaller size she couldn’t actually provide enough force to effectively escape. Instead of the blankets loosening up for her to wriggle her way out, they clung even tighter to her small, weakened frame.

Chrysalis thrashed even harder. She was not going to be defeated by these soft fabrics and cushions. Mother as her witness, she was going to escape; and by the time she escaped this soft and warm prison, she was going to burn the blanket, and there would be nothing left for the servants to replace!

Apparently the blanket had known what she was plotting, because it untucked itself from the corners of the bed to try and smother her. Chrysalis panicked as the sheets quickly and efficiently crawled past her head and cut off sight from the visible world. No, no not like this... the thrashing does nothing-- the thrashing does nothing!! In all her years, Chrysalis had never been bested by her bedding… But there was one thing she still had up her proverbial sleeve…

“Help--!” Chrysalis yelped, reaching out a hoof to grasp desperately at her pillow. Her voice went unheard after the first five seconds when the blankets more thoroughly wrapped themselves around her face, so she tried again, a little louder this time.

“Help me please!!” That didn’t seem to work either, and the blankets were making it harder to breathe. She was pretty sure the oxygen that was trapped in there with her was wearing thin.

That was it. She was going to die. That didn’t seem very productive with vengeance against Celestia. One last clawing hoof to barely pull her nose out from inside the death cocoon, and Chrysalis gave it one last try.

“HELP ME YOU STUPID PEASANTS; I’M DROWNING!! DROWNING IN BLANKETS!! I SWEAR IF I DIE LIKE THIS, THE LOT OF YOU ARE GOING TO BE HUNG BY YOUR BIG PONY EARS!!”

“Yes yes, good morning,” a voice replied with an odd level of ease for her predicament. “No need to shout Your Highness; I heard you the first time.”

“What, who--” In a fraction of a second, Chrysalis’ prison became weightless, then unraveled from around her, allowing her to land on the mattress proper. Chrysalis glared at her assailant.

A unicorn stallion with balding grey hair, bushy eyebrows and a long mustache smiled back over his spectacles. He casually pulled out a pocket watch. “If you were my mistress, I would have told you that you were an hour behind schedule; but as it were, Princess Luna told me to let you get up on your own accord.”

Chrysalis continued to scowl. “...Kibbitz, I presume?”

Kibbitz beamed. “And it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance without the skin of another princess on you. I trust that your sleep was restful until that last unfortunate moment?”

“I almost died, and you ask me how well I slept. I slept rather terribly, peasant!”

“Nonsense Princess, all the fabrics on this bed are designed to be breathable; it’d be just embarrassing if one of the visiting dignitaries ‘drowned in their blankets’ as you said.”

Chrysalis snorted, promptly getting up. “You know, I just realized I don’t care anymore. I’m hungry.”

“Of course; just a quick trip to the royal kitchens, and we’ll be ready to meet up with Princess Luna for your training.” Kibitz pulled out a pen and clipboard, walking out of the bedroom. When he noticed that Chrysalis wasn’t following he looked back expectantly. “Well? Are you coming? We’re on a schedule, you see.”

Chrysalis pushed on ahead of Kibitz, uncaring of the fact that she tripped him up. “Oh, I just don’t think that the royal kitchens can supply what I need.”

Kibitz picked himself up, wiping his spectacles with a handkerchief before placing them squarely on his nose once more. “I assure you Princess, that the shelves are always supplied with all sorts of ingredients across Equestria, and beyond. You’ld be hard pressed to not find something you’d like.”

Chrysalis rolled her eyes. “I know the castle; they’ve got their kitchens supplied with food for ponies, griffons and dragons. Do I look like any of those to you?”

Kibitz examined his clipboard. “Hmm, yes that’s quite the oversight, I do apologize.”

“Good. Now perhaps you can be useful and find me the biggest source around here of--”

“I’ll petition the throne to see if we can supply the meat lockers with children’s hearts.”

Chrysalis was entirely taken aback, and she cut him off once more, stopping him with a hoof. “You what?! Were you even here when I invaded this pathetic little slum you call a capital?!” Kibitz cast a knowing smirk, proving that he was there in fact, Chrysalis’ felt her cheeks flush violet with embarrassment. He just played her. Such little jokes were not to be tolerated. She scowled threateningly. “Don’t toy with me, welp.”

If Kibitz had understood the threat behind the command, he didn’t make note of it, simply brushing it off as morning grouchiness. “I dare say Princess, you remind me a lot of the Mistress in the morning. Perhaps I’ll get you a cup of coffee so you’re more alert. You did say you slept rather awfully, did you not?”

Chrysalis blew a strand of her mane from her face. “Fine whatever, stretching the legs would do some good. Gotta get used to my shorter height.”

“Very good Your highness, if you would just follow me.”

Chrysalis stared at the strange brownish-blackish liquid in the cup before her. Steam wafted up to tickle her nose with a strange alien scent. It warmed up her hooves slowly through her chitin.

“I take it you’ve never had coffee before?” Kibitz was idly standing by her side, presumably to attend to any of her other needs that may pop up.

Chrysalis shook her head. “With all the plotting I’ve done, I did not have any sort of time to do anything frivolous like sample strange and questionably useful liquids like this… coffee.”

“Well you have it right in front of you. No time like the present, is there?”

“I suppose...” Chrysalis rolled her eyes in half hearted agreement before lifting the fine porcelain container in her two front legs. She carried it up to her muzzle before tentatively reaching her tongue out and ever so lightly lapping at mixture. Her tongue was assaulted with a sharp bitter taste. Her whole muzzle puckered up and she snapped her tongue back into her mouth, nearly retching. “That has got to be the most foul, disgusting thing I have ever tasted.”

Kibitz chuckled. “Oops. Dear me, I seem to have forgotten to get the cream and sugar.”

Frantically, she tried to clean her tongue of the taste, casting a mean look at Kibitz. “Oh, so you knew it needed something else. And what made you have that lapse of understanding?!”

Kibitz waved his hoof. “Don’t be that way; you’re only saying that because I told you I forgot. Not to worry, I’ll go fetch some.”

Before she could properly rebuke him for daring to order her around, Kibitz was already up and rifling in the kitchen cupboards. So instead, she chose to lean on her hoof, elbow on the table, and gaze at the brownish poison which was surely cooling. All the while, she listened to him searching.

“Let’s see, I’m sure they left the sugar in here… Salt? Good heavens, no. Ah! There’s my green pen; I was wondering where that had went. Strange place for it really…”

Chrysalis was getting bored.

“Right, is that the sugar? No, evidently not… Well, I’m sure it’s somewhere… Ah ha! There it is!” Kibitz walked back to the table, cream and sugar in his aura. “And with a few minutes to spare! Just long enough to hopefully find a combination that you actually--”

“Oops,” Chrysalis casually tipped over her mug, smugly grinning at the brown stuff spilling all over the table. “Clumsy me.”

Kibitz just glared at her. “You couldn’t wait half a second longer, could you? You know this’ll bring us behind considerably.”

“Don’t care. The servants will clean it up.” Chrysalis continued grinning smugly, daring the pony to say something else.

Kibitz snorted, getting necessary supplies to clean up the mess and get another cup. The process of setting up those materials was made easier only by the prior process of setting them up. Wasted effort of the peasants that Chrysalis reveled in. “Well Your Majesty, let us hope that you don’t keep making messes like this so frequently, or they’ll just up and quit.”

“What’re you talking about? Servants can’t quit.”

“I beg to differ,” Kibitz replied curtly. “Every single pony who lives and works here is on the payroll.” Just as if the previous mess wasn’t even there, there was now a new cup with a cream pitcher and a sugar bowl close by. “I’m sure that Princess Luna will work with you on that at some point.”

“Uh-huh,” Chrysalis replied dully. So they didn’t do things the way she did back home. Okay fine, that wasn’t too much trouble; she could just change the laws with what power she would have over court. In the meantime there was the strange liquid in front of her once more. “So… Do I put this stuff in it?”

“To taste; but do hurry, we’re half a minute behind schedule.”

“I’ll take my time if I wish, peasant.” Chrysalis stared long and hard at the three materials before her. If she were honest with herself, she had no idea just how much was supposed to be put in the coffee; because frankly, Chrysalis had never done “to taste” before. She always preferred “get-as-much-as-you-can-and-scarf”. It was what she did with love, so why was coffee any different?

Nevertheless, she did follow Kibitz’ unwanted advice, despite how much she wanted to dump the whole thing and leave.

So she added just enough sugar to compensate for the bitter taste, lifting up the whole bowl, and dumping the entire thing in the small cup.

“Oh dear… You’re really not considering drinking that, are you?”

Chrysalis lifted the whole cup into her mouth, chewing the coffee sugar mixture thoughtfully. “My my, that was just about right, if I say so myself.”

Kibitz felt the need to hide his face in shame, heaving a pained sigh. “I can only hope I will get a pay raise soon for all the grief you’ve caused since this morning...”

Chrysalis ignored him, licking her chops. “Mmm… I think I’ll grow to like coffee.”

Chrysalis decided that she hated coffee.

It was delayed reaction, as she came to be aware of. Nothing had happened at first, the coffee being very pleasant when it was completely drowned out by the flavor of sugar, and at the time she thought that maybe the next time she had coffee, she would drown it in cream and see how that tasted.

Then the effects of said coffee kicked in. It started out somewhat subtly. When she had gotten up, her eyes could barely stay open. Now it was a struggle to blink. Another strange thing was that her heart was beating quicker than normal, despite not having exercised at all since she got up, save for the little walk from her bed to the kitchen. That was something she probably could put up with, at least until the next effects came in.

Chrysalis, being a changeling, could read ponies pretty easily. Their emotions could be read by the careful perception of their eyes dilating, the way they carried themselves, and they even carried their own smells with them to tell their mood.

Her perception suddenly, and very sharply expanded. The light that was normally reasonable at this time of day was blinding to her! And the sounds that sounded soft beforehand were on the forefront of her mind now! Couple that with the now pungent smells of the ponies around her-- and her own odor-- And that could all be pretty well chalked down to a very negative effect--

“Your majesty, are you alright?”

Chrysalis yelped, snapping her ears flat against her skull. Her ears rang painfully, and she fell flat on the floor. “You stupid excuse for a servant; what gave you the idea to yell?!”

“Yell? I’m afraid I don’t follow.”

“Don’t play dumb with me, you Idiot,” Chrysalis snarled, swatting Kibitz’ hoof away when he reached to help her up. “You were yelling, and I have half a mind to tear your throat out so you stop!!”

“I’m afraid there’s not enough time in the schedule to have my throat torn out, your highness.”

Chrysalis was getting fed up. She leapt up, smashing the stallion into the nearest wall, bearing her teeth In a sort of fashion that would have made that pathetic excuse for a guard captain Shining Armor soil his pants. “You have a death wish, Kibitz?! Should I eat you, because it’s all you’re good for?!

“There are so many ways I could make you die slowly and painfully, all the while making you useful as a good meal. I could crack open your head like an egg and eat your brains while you’re still alive. Or I could pull off your limbs one at a time and chew them down to the bone. Or perhaps I should use my favorite technique, and just rip open your abdomen, and nibble on your intestines like so many fat noodles! Provided you don’t keep going down your foolish path, I may just not do that if you are lucky.”

Kibitz sighed, wiping off dribble from his face. When he didn’t make any more smart alec comments, Chrysalis smiled devilishly. “So you’re finally getting it? Good, you’re smarter than you look. Maybe you’ll spare me the idiotic comebacks next time, and do as I say.” She snickered, grinning even wider. “Oh yes, I can feel it… such wonderful fear guarantees compliance...”

“Actually, I’m more worried about what’ll happen now that Princess Luna saw you.”

Chrysalis turned around, finding that Princess Luna was indeed behind her. She stared. “H-how did you sneak up on--”

“I’ve been told that apathy makes a pony rather unreadable,” she replied dully. “I have seen just about every awful thing happen over the course of the week, and let me just say that you somehow still managed to disappoint me. Your first morning as a princess in training, and you’re already threatening to eat the royal timekeeper’s entrails? I would have hoped you were a little bit more patient than that.”

Almost immediately, Chrysalis released Kibitz from the wall and backed away to give him space like the good little changeling she was expected to be. “HolycrapI’msosorryI’llneverdothatagaininamillionyears.”

Luna raised one eyebrow in mild indignation. “Good to know that the crown on your head is giving you a good impression of who’s actually in charge. See to it that you don’t do that again.”

Chrysalis nodded furiously. “Yes! Yes, you’re in charge; please don’t punish me Princess Luna, I’ll be good!”

“Besides the point, it took me a good three weeks before I threatened his life. I’m not sure what my sister sees in him.”

“Wait, what?”

Kibitz chuckled, wiping off his suit. “I’m mostly there to make sure she keeps to schedule when she actually chooses to go by it. If you want to give credit where it’s due, Raven has been a faithful aide for far longer than I have.”

Chrysalis’ ears pinned themselves against her head once more. “Still too loud...”

“Yes, so I’ve heard,” Luna replied. “Her youthfulness is astounding. No matter, we’re already behind schedule, no reason to even try to keep it any longer.” She gestured Chrysalis over. “I have already had my breakfast, but the delivery for your food came in last night.”

“...‘The delivery for my food’? What exactly are you talking about…?”

“We got something from the crystal empire after I had penned one of our princesses. It was explained as refined, condensed affection packed into something physically consumable. It’s good that she seemed really happy to provide.”

Chrysalis smirked. “Well at least somepony has interest in taking care of me.”

“Which is really strange, considering just who it is. I was worried we would need a backup.”

Chrysalis paused in her tracks as they were walking down the hallway. “Okay hang on, just who is it you’re talking about?”

“Princess Cadance, of course.”

“...Who’s Princess Cadance?”

Luna rolled her eyes. “Oh so you really didn’t know her name, and wasn’t just being a selfish fool? You know, Princess Mi Amore Cadenza, If you prefer? The pony you captured and hid in a cave for a week without any food or water?”

Chrysalis’ ears folded back. She did not want to hear that name. “Okay, w-why her?”

“Well as far as we know, Cadance is the only pony alive that can properly feed a changeling who has no access to their magic...”

“Your majesties? A letter just came in for you. It’s from Princess Luna of the Equestrian Capital.”

“Oh? I don’t usually get auntie Luna writing to me.” She took the letter from the courier’s hoof, floating it in front of her. “Thank you very much. You may go.”

When the courier bowed out, Cadance ripped open the seal, examining the letter proper.

“What is it, honey?” Shining asked.

“A letter from Princess Luna… she needs my help with something--” Cadance paused. Then she giggled.

“What? What is it?”

She giggled again. “Revenge, Shiny.”

Shining stared blankly. “I don’t follow,”

“Weeelll, do you remember the first time we tried to marry, and a particular changeling queen decided to try to destroy Equestria, and I almost died in a cave?”

Shining shuddered. “Vividly.”

“Of course you do sweetie, I still have nightmares about it! Anyway, it seems that after a third attempted invasion--”

“Wait, a third?? What happened in the second?”

“No idea! But the third attempted invasion went so horribly, Queen bugface is now stuck as a prisoner to Celestia and Luna! On a short leash!”

A small grin made itself known on Shining’s lips. “That’s… great!”

Cadance laughed again, hopping on alternating hooves. “Oh, and that’s not all, my dear! They gave her a rigged crown which means she can’t use her magic! And without her magic, she can’t extract love the way she usually does!”

“So now she’s going to die slowly and painfully?”

“Well honey, while I’m entirely for letting her starve in a cave like I did, it turns out there’s an even better result! I’m the only one who can properly feed a changeling who has no access to their magic!”

Shining’s grin grew wider. “So you’re telling me...”

“...that she’s the only one standing between me and starving to death?!” Chrysalis pulled at her face in agony of the news she had just heard.

“Don’t be so dramatic. There’s always an alternative.”

“No, no you don’t understand!” A indigo glow held her tail firm, dragging her across the floor. “She is the only thing keeping me alive! My enemy is keeping me alive for her amusement!”

“Yeah, and whose fault is that?”

“HER’S!” She screeched.

Luna clicked her tongue. “See, this is why you’re here learning to be responsible, rather than back out there taking care of kids you have no idea how to care for.” When Chrysalis started screaming, Luna took to clamping her magic around her muzzle as well. “I will not have you screaming bloody murder, Chrysalis.”

Chrysalis continued to thrash in violent rage and terror.

“Kibitz, when did my sister schedule court to begin?”

Kibitz flipped a page on his clipboard. “That would be at eleven o'clock, after a leisurely bubble bath.”

“I think I will skip the bubble bath, thank you very much,” Luna chuckled. “At any rate, I doubt I’ll get much more done before court, so I will be in my sister’s chambers… attempting to teach a changeling how to properly rule court. You’re dismissed.”

“Of course, I’ll have our new princess’ meal sent there.”

When Kibitz had walked away, Luna released her hold around Chrysalis’ muzzle. “So… Are you going to behave like a mature pony now or not?”

“AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!”

“I guess not,” Luna sighed. Should it continue like this, it seemed plenty clear that Luna and Chrysalis were not going to have a very good morning,

Author's Notes:

Been a long one, but It's all done. Don't you worry people, this is not one I'll just abandon.

Thanks again to Majora for proofreading my work.

Ponyville 2: A trip to the farm

Dawn approached in the span of a couple hours. With it was the start of a new day and the beginning of the morning ritual known as breakfast. Each occupant practiced said ritual in their own fashion. Celestia enjoyed a cup of tea along with whatever sweets she could get her hooves on. Usually, she was the one who began the dawn, but it seemed that her sister had taken to doing it for her… at least for this morning. So she had the pleasure of observing the sunrise rather than instigating it.

The nymphs stood up, stretching their legs and buzzing their wings before they searched around in a half-awake state for a source of love. They should have counted themselves lucky that they managed to get any sleep at all. But all the same, eventually they found their targets. Nuzzling up to the sleepy ponies, they drank in affection brought to them in lethargic endearment. Fluttershy especially laid it on thick, squeezing Lepidos tightly and nuzzling her cheek sweetly. The nymphs were not going to go hungry today; and that made Celestia smile.

The other ponies had all their own little ways of getting ready for the morning, but most of them had completed them, and were now sitting at the table with her, eating breakfast. Except for one of course… and she was only now getting up if the upstairs door being opened was a good sign.

“Good morning, Sunset,” Celestia cooed at her newest student. Sunset said nothing, silently heading downstairs to the library dinner table. The blanket that she had used on her own bed was still draped across her head, hiding much of her expression. Celestia paid no mind, simply sipping her morning tea. When Sunset sat down and pulled the blanket down over her shoulders, Celestia slid a cup of deep black coffee over to her. She took it in her magic, raising the cup to her lips and drinking fairly deeply. Then she set it down, licking her lips. This was Celestia’s cue that she was permitted to speak. “Did you sleep well, my new student?”

“Better,” Sunset replied. “You were right, I guess… I don’t want to go back to that darn warehouse.”

“That’s good to hear. I’d hate to hear that you suddenly died. You should thank Twilight for letting you stay here until further notice.”

Sunset mumbled out a word of thanks, only barely registered audibly by Twilight. “What,” Twilight remarked, “no wing-eating?”

“That’d be counterproductive.”

Twilight rolled her eyes. “…Really now? It seemed fine to you at the time.”

“Because if I did do that Twilight,” Sunset returned with a glare, “you’d end up with three unicorns; rather than two and one Alicorn. I’m not stupid.”

Twilight paused, chewing on a piece of toast Spike had lovingly made for her. “Well, you’re sounding much more reasonable than before.”

“I had… zero hours of sleep over the course of three days straight. Excuse me for not being entirely there.”

Rarity spoke up, shocked. “Three days?? Darling, what could have been so important that you’d stay up for so long?!”

“Scheming, planning, making decisions on how I’d conquer the world using an army of teenagers… sounds stupid now, doesn’t it?”

“Yup,” both Rainbow Dash and Applejack responded at the same time.

“Girls! There are some things you’re not supposed to say!” Rarity scolded.

“Hey, she said it first,” Rainbow Dash defended.

“That does not mean you should repeat it!”

Twilight cut in, trying to get the conversation back in control. “Girls, can we not butt heads in front of Sunset? She knows she made a mistake.”

“Yeah, next time I’ll go straight to the local army first,” Sunset mumbled.

Several tense moments remained where she felt a thousand eyes bearing down on her. Sunset plastered a nervous grin on her face. “…Just kidding?”

“Dude, don’t even joke about that,” Spike griped. Sunset dropped her muzzle into her coffee mug in an effort not be noticed, and in the lull, Celestia carried the conversation. “So… now that we’ve all had some time to mull over all the events that happened yesterday,” Celestia asked, “How does everypony feel about Chrysalis having a larger family than we knew before?”(1)

“A little bit worrying,” Twilight replied. “Because now that we know she’s got a bigger family than just her, with a sister of all things…” She took a sip of her own coffee, trying to find the right words. “Well, there’s probably more than one colony trying to find her by now.”

“Well, we can only hope that they do a poor performance at trying to invade Equestria.”

“I hope they’re nicer than Chrysalis’ changelings... if that wasn’t just her saying threatening words that is,” Fluttershy chimed in.

“Well I do know who we can ask,” Celestia assured her, settling her gaze upon the sleepy nymphs. “Little ones, what sort of family do you have?”

Lepidos answered her question. “We have sisters, brothers, mommy and daddy and our aunt.”

“Oh? What is your aunt’s name?”

Lepidos tapped her hooves together. “Mommy told me not to talk about my family.”

“Yes dear, she also told you that she wasn’t using you for an invasion scheme.”

That loosened her tongue. “Her name is Cocoon,” she said without any further hesitation. “Mommy’s generation was named after parts of insects and what they make.”

“How thematic,” Celestia mused. “Tell me, what’s she like?”

“You mean… to me?”

“To you and to other ponies,” she clarified.

“Oh yeah, she’s really nice!” The young changeling beamed. “She takes ponies out from the forest she lives in, and she wraps them up in her silk and feeds them and gives them hugs so they’ll love her and when her changelings are fed she gets someone to guide them on their way!”

“Silk?”

“Yeah,” she replied, “Why is that so strange?”

“Well, I’ve only ever experienced changeling… for the lack of a better word, goop first hoof.” Celestia pondered over what Lepidos had said. “How do you know she’s not lying though?”

Lepidos’ head dropped low. “B-but I’ve seen her do it,” she whimpered.

Celestia flinched, immediately apologetic. “Oh no no no, I’m so sorry, Lepidos! I really shouldn’t be driving your family apart! Please, forget I said anything, okay?” Lepidos nodded in a sad manner. “Look sweetheart, I’m sure that most changelings are decent folk, considering that you are among them; but I’m just struggling an awful lot to shake the distrust.”

Sunset’s embarrassment was temporarily overridden by her interest in the princess bringing soft assurances to the little nymph. “I suppose I’ve been missing several things since I left,” She mumbled.

Twilight sighed, finishing off her toast. “You have no idea. Ever since I got these friends of mine, There has consistently been at least one major threat every month, be that someone Celestia locked away for a thousand years and promptly forgot about—”

“I may have a problem,” Celestia noted to nopony but herself in particular.

“—or some big disaster in the lines of weather or out of control plant life. We’ve had to take care of all those ourselves, because Celestia’s extremely bad luck continuously leaves her preoccupied.”

“Nightmare moon banished me to the moon, Discord locked me in my private chambers, and his nasty little thousand year old trick trapped me in thorny vines for the better part of a day…”

“So, it really isn’t saying too much to say that she needs some sort of vacation from the royal duties and general kidnappings.”

Sunset took another gulp of her coffee. “That’s nice, I suppose. So what’s she going to do in the meantime?”

Celestia shrugged. “Oh, I suppose I’m going to have Twilight make a list of some things average everyday ponies do, and I’ll just follow along.”

Twilight’s eyes started sparkling. “…Really? You mean it??”

Celestia smiled at the familiar enthusiasm of her fellow princess. “Of course! I’ve always gone by the rule of the list.”

Twilight leapt up in the air in excitement. “YES!!”

“Hold on now Twilight, I have to make sure Sunset gets to school today,” Celestia gently reminded her with a hoof on her shoulder. “Then I will absolutely be able to go wherever you want me to.”

Twilight sheepishly fluttered down to the floor again. “Right, of course… that’s kinda important, isn’t it?”

Celestia chuckled. “It certainly is. My dear student Sunset, smart as she certainly can be, never obtained any proper diploma before her absence. Plus I think an education on foreign culture and innovation would do her a world of good.”

"Yeah, now I'm not so eager to go back," Sunset grumbled.

"Don't you worry, Sunset!" Celestia pulled her close with a wing. "I'm sure now that your major pursuit is no longer power but friendship, everypony will see the new Sunset, and just clamor around you to be a new friend! Your school career will become a wonderful experience!"

Sunset finished her coffee, placing it down and talking back at her in a sort of manner that screamed sarcastic."Yeah, riveting."

"At any rate, I do believe you have at least an hour or so before you have to go. Plenty of time to have a proper meal, I'm sure."

Sunset nodded. "Yup, just one more hour before I find out what sort of grand retribution I'm going to receive from the girls that I tried to paralyze from the neck down." She tapped her hoof on the table a couple times before she finally turned her head towards the resident cook. "Hey dragon?"

"It's Spike," Spike replied.

"Yeah, okay. Think you can get me some grub?"

"Oh I don't know, what's the magic word?"

An exhasperated sigh left her mouth. "Spike, please don't make this anymore difficult."

"I did hear a please, so that'll do." Spike plodded back to the kitchen, picking up a frying pan, and twirling it gracefully before setting it back down on the burner. "How do you like your eggs, Sunset?"

"Ground into a pulp and slowly burnt 'till they're charcoal," She muttered.

Celestia gently scolded her student. "Don't be so dramatic, Sunset. Spike, just scramble them for her would you?"

"You got it!" Spike drew a claw along each shell, perfectly cutting both of them in half and letting the contents fall into the pan before tossing the shells into a nearby trashcan.

Celestia nudged Sunset's side. "What do you say?"

"Thank you, dragon."

"It's Spike," Spike called out again.

Sunset sighed. An hour to school, and she was having trouble maintaining a grump, especially with the pleasant smell of cooking eggs filling the library house.

When Celestia stepped out of the library, she took a deep breath of the Ponyville fresh air. "Ahh, I can't say I'll ever get enough of the smells of a small town."

"It's nice, isn't it?" Rarity replied. "Ponyville always had its own flair that I've never managed to perfectly capture in any art medium, really."

"So, is everything all done then?" Twilight asked.

Celestia nodded. "All accounted for! I made sure Sunset was on her way a few moments ago, got her a sack lunch, gave her a hug goodbye and waved at the gawking people on the other side before I came back. Very intriguing anatomy they all have in that world. A bipedal people without hooves… who would have thought?"

"Great! I've got a list of what we can do around Ponyville just for helping out on your vacation!"

“Really? That quickly?” Twilight nodded excitedly. “Very well, what is the first item on the list?”

Spike picked up a large roll of parchment, unrolling it with little care for where the other end went. “The first item on the list,” Spike stated, “Is ‘help Applejack and her family out on the farm’.”

“Oh yes…” Celestia held her hoof to her mouth in a dainty giggle. “I remember reading about that time when Applejack bit off a little more than she could chew. Is she doing better now?”

“As far as I know… yes. Anyway, I suppose we’d better get going if you want to try this out, right?”

Celestia nodded. “Lead the way, Twilight! And as for anypony who’s not applejack or our little nymphs…” She smiled at Twilight’s other friends. “It’s always nice to meet you again, and I hope to continue to enjoy your company at a later time.”

The group headed out on the road, leaving behind Rarity, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash to head back to their own homes. As she walked along, she hummed a cheery tune. Everything was seeming to go alright for her, despite all the problems beforehand. She’d just have to find out how all the ponies treat her in her new compact pony princess form. One thing was for sure, she wasn’t going to get away with being entirely unnoticeable; because there weren’t exactly very many small pink maned, white alicorns with a sun cutie-mark.

Celestia set that thought aside, turning her mind to another one. When she, her fellow princess, Applejack and the nymphs arrived at the farm, a whole lot would be new to them; especially if she thought about it, the way of life the cattle and sheep lived. So for their sake, Celestia let her tune come to an end, and she struck up a conversation with the farm-pony.

“So, Applejack… What’s life on Sweet Apple Acres like?”

Applejack quirked an eyebrow. “Y’all visited our home, right? Ah thought you knew already.”

“Oh, I certainly do! Tell me anyway. Especially about your tenants, if you would?” When Applejack still failed to get what she was talking about, Celestia— as discreetly as possible— pointed a wing in the direction of the nymphs. Applejack’s eyes widened in realization.

“Oh right! Yeah we treat the sheep and cattle well ‘round here at sweet apple acres. And why wouldn’t we? They exchange milk and wool at a pittance; we give them food and livin’ space! ”

Lepidos turned an ear to this new information, but was somewhat skeptical. “…Are you sure you aren’t just keeping them as slaves?”

“What makes ya think that?”

“Can they leave?”

“Sure they can! The milk and wool pays plenty for them anyway.”

“I don’t believe you,” Lepidos stubbornly replied.

Applejack simply shrugged. “That’s alright; Ah didn’t expect you to take the word of the element of honesty seriously.”

“I know you’re not lying!” Lepidos protested. “You’re not lying, you’re just mistaken!”

“Alright, we’ll just find out together who’s right.” Refusing to discuss the issue further, Applejack turned away with a chuckle and continued down the path, leaving a confused and embarrassed Lepidos behind, wondering how she was shown up by a pony. Celestia couldn’t help but reach out with a wing to endearingly rub her back. The antics of children always provided her with great entertainment in the long years of rulership.

The road took a turn outside the village proper, and onto a gently sloping hill that complemented the color of the sky very beautifully. If she squinted, she could see the bright red of apples on the trees further along. They were almost there, it seemed. Applejack turned to Celestia, curiosity on her face. “Well Princess, we’re almost here. You know, my granny says that she met y’all personally when she and her parents left to settle in ponyville. Any truth to that?”

“Oh yes, she was a sweet looking filly. Did you know her father kissed my hoof? Quite scandalous for the time, kissing another pony’s hoof; your great grandmother was furious.”

Applejack laughed. “Oh really now? She never told me that. Makes a gal wonder what else she never told me…”

Suddenly, from over the other side of the hill, the voice of an old mare called out indignantly. “Y’all better not pry, because if there’s anything I didn’t tell you, you’d better believe there’s a good reason I never did!” Before long, the source of the voice hobbled up to the top of that hill, and back down to meet the gathering. Were it that the old mare was twenty years younger, it may have taken her less time. Nevertheless Celestia was nothing, if not patient. Applejack greeted her grandmother with a wave, but Granny smith was having none of it. She frowned, one eyebrow raised up in an accusatory manner. “And where have you been, hmmm? Trottin’ around all of Equestria, never telling yer granny nuthin’!”

“Sorry granny… It’s just, why would ah ever want to wake ya up at any hour like five in the mornin’ when there’s nothin’ to do??”

Granny Smith scowled, sticking out her lower jaw in irritation. “Well the least y’all could have done was leave a note! What was so important that you had ta leave so early on anyway?”

“Well…” All eyes fell upon Celestia, so she automatically put on her princess-y smile. One may be surprised to hear such a thing, but it so happens that she tends to set her princess-y smile on her face not specifically when she wants to set up an air of serenity and calm in the face of a tense situation— though that’s part of it certainly—, nor that she wants to present herself as a guide to her little ponies—although that is also part of it. No, Princess Celestia puts on the princess-y smile whenever she’s nervous. This is somewhat ironic when the very face of Equestria who faces crowds on a day to day basis gets nervous over a little bit of attention. Still, the smile seems to do a great amount of good for the ponies involved.

Granny Smith turned her attention to where everypony else was looking. A few moments of looking at the pony in question, and a smile crossed her features. “Well, I see we’ve got royal company on our humble farm!”

Celestia nodded. “Hello again. It’s been quite a while since I set eyes on you. How have you been?”

“Never mind me, what about you??” Granny smith turned a critical eye at Celestia’s small, cute pink form. “The last time I saw y’all, you were much more fit than that!”

Applejack momentarily paled. “Granny, why would y’all say something like that?”

“Don’t give me that lip young’un,” Granny smith snapped back, “ah wasn’t talking ta y’all, ah was talking to her!” While Applejack panicked at the social faux pas that her dear grandmother had committed, Celestia took a look at her figure. Was she really that unhealthy? Sure she didn’t spend a lot of energy during her daily trip from her private chambers to the courtroom and back, but at least she can still get up and move around, right? Then again, she still ate what many ponies would call an unhealthy amount of cake, so there was that problem.

“I suppose a diet couldn’t hurt,” she mused to herself. Unfortunately, this is exactly the opposite of what she should have said, because Granny smith stared at her completely dumbfounded, then grabbed her by her mane with a hoof, dragging her to the farm house proper. “Ouch— Hey, what’re you doing??”

“A diet?? To lose weight?! Ah hope y’all were joking, because that just ain’t funny!”

“I assure you, I wasn’t—” Celestia protested, but that made the surprisingly strong mare only tug her along harder.

“Yer as skinny as an apple sapling, is what you are! Ah’ve seen y’all on the newspapers! How in the hay do them scrawny legs manage ta carry anything, much less yer own underweight frame?? Let me tell ya; back in my day, a princess had child bearin’ hips, and an insatiable appetite! ‘Specially for cakes!”

“That was a bad time for me,” Celestia muttered, dragging her legs to no avail. “And I am not going back to that.”

“No way no how! Ah swore ah was gonna pay ya back for letting me settle down here; and if stuffin’ you up is the way to do it, then by golly, I will!!”

Celestia was not remotely as enthusiastic as Granny smith about the whole prospect of being stuffed. She fussed and fought, but it was fruitless. One desperate turn to Twilight and Applejack, she only managed to cry out “Help me!” before the door to the farm house slammed shut, sealing her fate.

Applejack for her part took several deep breaths, leaning against Twilight for support. She wiped her brow, standing up on her own with shaky legs. “What’s wrong with you?” Twilight asked.

“Oh, nuthin’ much,” She replied. “Ah love my granny, but someday she’s gonna be the death of me.” She straightened her hat, looking at the farmhouse. “Ah was worried th’ princess was gonna chew her out somethin’ fierce over the comments on her weight, or maybe make her swear ta silence ‘bout it on pain of death. But well… perhaps ah misjudged Princess Celestia’s character.”

“I thought it’d be a problem to have Celestia stuffed,” Twilight mused.

“Hmm? Oh no, I’m not worried about Princess Celestia, she’ll be fine. She might feel heavy for a while, but Granny Smith’s right; She does need some meat on them bones.”

Celestia leaned up against a tree, nursing her poor aching stomach. “I think I ate too much apple pie,” she moaned to a sympathetic princess Twilight Sparkle. Sure, she may have indulged herself on a great amount of cakes on a regular basis, but whole meals took into account a whole different level of pain. Celestia silently cursed her extremely efficient metabolism for making her suffer like this. Then again, with just how much she ate— she estimated enough for four or five ponies— she probably wouldn’t have to eat anything else for a while… Maybe not even for the rest of the day.

Soon enough, she came to the decision to quit moping around and rejoin her gracious host, who had just completed her rounds of escorting the sheep from the east field to the west field. (2) The nymphs were fascinated by the thickness of their fur— Or Wool, as Applejack had corrected, and were currently peppering them with questions. Lepidos was the major perpetrator.

“How quick does your wool grow?” She asked one sheep in particular, one of the many questions that she had asked her already.

“Two or three months,” the sheep replied.

“When does Applejack shave you?”

“She shaves us whenever we feel like we want it.”

“And when’s that?”

The sheep rolled her eyes, replying, “Usually two or three months after the last time.”

“Do they make you do anything else?”

By now, the sheep was getting frustrated. “Baah child, they don’t make me do anything! I don’t work for free around here!”

“Oh… What else do you do around the farm?”

The poor sheep bleated in exasperation. Celestia giggled at the sheep’s expense. “Quite the curious little thing, that Lepidos,” she commented.

Applejack nodded, similarly amused by Lepidos’ endless curiosity. “If y’all weren’t stuck there for the last five minutes, you’d have Known that Dolly there didn’t get a lick of a break ever since she saw her.”

“Really? She knows she can walk away, right?”

“Well ah don’t think there’s anythin’ stopping her from followin’ her, is the problem. Well, ‘cept the obvious.” Applejack raised her hoof to her mouth, whistling sharply. “Hey Lepidos! Why don’t y’all lay off of poor Dolly, huh?”

Lepidos stared at her perch— Dolly, who was evidently annoyed— and looked at Applejack. “Lay off?”

“Yeah, stop bothering her!”

“Oh…” Lepidos looked at dolly once again. “Am I bothering you?” At the sheep’s forced smile and nod, Lepidos frowned, shrugged and simply hopped off; looking around for someone else to potentially get all her questions from. Applejack chuckled softly, shaking her head. She was surely going to have to break it up between another sheep and the nymph, but she probably bought herself a few minutes. In the meantime, she looked out the fields of apple trees, much of the fruit in need of a harvest.

“Princess?” Applejack asked, not even bothering to turn to Celestia.

“Yes?”

“How good are y’all at applebuckin’?”

Celestia looked at the same apple orchard, contemplating the very same apples that had to be harvested before summer’s end. “Honestly Applejack, I have no idea.” Her mouth pulled into a grin. “Why don’t we find out?”

“Show me again,” Celestia requested, wiping the dirt off of her body with a wing. The action was swift and efficient, only a testament to just how many times she had eaten dirt during her attempts to master the art of “applebucking”.

Applejack, showing true patience on the whole matter started over her very well practiced speech. “Alright... Again, an earth pony’s magic is not limited to strength. Some earth ponies have an affinity to rocks, sand and metals; others have an easier time with animals, and in my case, plants and trees.

“Trees don’t have all the soft bodies like other plants do; so it’s harder to talk with ‘em with just a little touch. Y’all are gonna need to knock ‘em like you would on a door, ‘cept a little harder.” Applejack placed her rear in front of the next tree over which she would use to demonstrate once again. “The best way ta knock a fruit tree of any sorts is with yer hind legs, the hardest amount of force from an earth pony, and the easiest way ta put yer magic into it. So y’all gotta balance on yer front legs real quick-like…” Carefully, Applejack leaned forward, lifting her hind legs into the air with slow motion to make sure her trainee saw every single way she balanced and shifted her weight for the perfect kick. “And throw the energy behind yer kick inta the tree, pushin’ yer magic inta the tree to loosen the stems of the apples.”

A swift thrust of her legs, and a crack resounded into the air. The sweet fruit within the tree snapped loose by their stems, falling precisely into the buckets below. While impressive at first, Celestia was simultaneously at a complete loss and utterly irritated by how easy it was for her to command where the apples landed… or make them come off at all. “…This is all so silly,” she complained, “How on earth are you getting the apples into the buckets?”

“Timing the sway of the tree just right,” she replied.

Celestia scratched her head with her foreleg. “I’m sure… Oh well, I suppose I just have to try again.”

“Yup. Anyway if y’all can’t do it, I’ve gotta get back to finishing the applebuckin’. Y’all can keep practicin’ on the next tree ‘till I find somethin’ else for you to do.”

Celestia nodded, lining herself up to the tree the same way Applejack demonstrated. This was at least the thirteenth time she tried this whole thing, so she expected some sort of improvement on her technique. Then again it is said that it takes ten thousand hours to master a skill, even one like Applebucking. Nevertheless, she made her valiant effort to do exactly what Applejack did, balancing on her forelegs and lifting her hind legs. Then she pulled her hind legs back like a tightly compressed spring, releasing the energy into a full-force kick.

Alas, the kick in question never completely hit its mark. Her hoof struck the bark of the apple tree, grazing the side of it and completely denying her the support she so desperately needed to put her legs back down gracefully; thus making her fall squarely on her face in the dirt. To her credit however, she did not actually miss the tree completely this time, and the magic she poured into her kick flowed at least a little bit into it, allowing one apple to fall and impale itself on her horn.

The whole event was so comical; Applejack couldn’t help but fall over in laughter. Celestia wasn’t particularly upset either, because she had actually succeeded for once in loosening an apple from the tree. Accomplishment met, she removed the fruit from her horn and took a hearty bite out of it. She had decided while enjoying the sweet juice and tender pulp of her apple that Applebucking was probably not something she should do herself. There were others far more capable… and laughing at her at the moment. “It might be better to simply carry the buckets,” she mused.

“So… You are going to plant a few seeds?”

Applejack snorted in amusement. “A few, y’all say? Shoot, there ain’t just a few seeds ta plant, yer highness! If’n we’re gonna get any sort of profit with all this land, we’re gonna have ta get a whole orchard!”

Celestia nodded in intrigue and understanding. “I see… But I must ask, you have received a few loans from the royal treasury for repairs to your property—”

“Which we paid back as soon as possible, mind,” Applejack countered.

“Yes, you did. But if you’ve always had to get some stimulus from me or just the banks in general, how’s setting up a whole other orchard which has to be maintained a good idea?”

Smugly, Applejack replied. “Well princess, when we all found out that a pony like you needs a little break now and then, ah figured that a pony like me needs some help out on the farm sometimes as well. With them workin’ for a little more than they did before, we’re gettin’ a huge return from our extra efficiency!” She pointed over to a small herd of cattle contentedly carrying carts of dug-up earth.

Celestia smirked. “Oh really? I thought that was a lesson you already learned a long time ago; something about trying to harvest the entire property by yourself?”

At this, Applejack’s coat temporarily turned crimson. “R-right, let’s just move on with that. Now that the land’s been upturned and all the grass cleared, we’ve gotta plow the field.”

“I see. Doesn’t Big Macintosh do that normally?”

“Eyyup, and he’s working on another part of the field, plowin’ that up. And since I really can’t do any plowin’ myself,” Applejack gestured to Celestia, “That just leaves y’all ta do the job yerself.”

Celestia eyed the yoke and plow with interest. There was nothing particularly interesting with the tool set, as they weren’t carefully carved with any intricate patterns or designs, nor did the plow blade itself have a gilded edge to it either. But nonetheless, it was a very… very long time since she last used a plow, and she was surprisingly enough eager to try it again. “Alright, hook me up; let’s see what I’m made of!”

And hook herself up she did. The yoke was somewhat rough against her pristine coat, and perhaps a little large for her current frame and size, but for all intents and purposes it still fit pretty well. Applejack carried the plow head over to the appropriate starting location where that too was tied to the yoke that Celestia was wearing. Finally, she let the blade down into the dirt proper after digging an initial hole into the dirt. “Okey-dokey… y’all ready?”

“Ready!” Celestia replied, eager grin on her face.

“Alright, let’s see them years of experience put into that plowin’!”

Celestia tugged. Normally, that is the sort of locomotion one would require to pull a plow across a field, so the fact that she was tugging was hardly anything surprising. What was surprising— at least to her, was that despite all her tugging the plow in question wasn’t actually going anywhere.

“Applejack,” she heaved. “Why… isn’t this working?”

Applejack shrugged. “Ah dunno, poor traction, Ah suppose? Ah know that plow always had a dull blade really.”

“Right,” Celestia grunted. “While informative… That’s really not… Ungh… solving my problem.”

“Shoot, Ah don’t know what ta tell ya, princess; Big Macintosh jus’ pulls the thing along, an’ he don’t have any trouble neither.”

“To be fair, Big Macintosh is bigger, if I’m to understand it right,” She argued between tugs.

“Well don’t y’all tend ta be a mite bigger than that most of the time?”

“I’m trying to be more approachable.”

Applejack rolled her eyes. “There’s somethin’ ta be said ‘bout cursin’ the darkness and lightin’ a candle.”

Celestia strained again. “Pretty sure—HNNN— size is not the issue at play here. I believe that… that the problem… is force.”

“Well ah know how that can be fixed…”

“NO!” Celestia yelled in a manner uncharacteristic of her. “I’m not giving in; little Tia’s going to plow. This. Field!!” Celestia wildly scuffled all her hooves, kicking up dirt in a final, desperate attempt to move the plow forward and at the very least finish the first row of the field. And to be fair, she was managing to move. However there was a small problem in direction.

Over the course of twelve seconds, a large hole was dug into the ground, and a large pile of dirt was built up next to it. Celestia struggled up six feet of soil and out of the hole, weakly lifting the plow behind her. Applejack almost immediately burst out in laughter.

Celestia spat out dirt from her mouth. “Perhaps I’m a little bit out of my ideal work-environment.”

“No, no!” Applejack laughed. “Please, k-keep going! Ah haven’t had such a riot since Big Mac tried his hooves at cookin’!”

Celestia sighed, shaking the dirt out of her mane. “Actually, I think I am done for now. I could do the job better with my bare hooves anyway.”

Applejack continued laughing even as she headed back to the farmhouse. “Wait, don’t y’all want ta try washin’ the pigs first??”

“I’d like to see you make me, my little pony!”

Far above, a small, ill-often comingling group watched on a nearby hill as Celestia tried and failed to properly wash one of the fifteen or twenty pigs Applejack had out on the farm. Her once pretty pink mane had become thoroughly soaked with mud. She had the pig by the ear, firmly scolding it despite how fruitless the effort would seem to be.

“Poor thing,” Lepidos spoke softly upon her perch.

“Who, the princess? Or the pig?” Dolly asked.

Lepidos dropped her head into Dolly’s wool. “I dunno… both maybe? The princess is relieved that she’s not doing something so dull as whatever jobs a ruler does, but frus… upset that everything she’s doing here just doesn’t work. The pig doesn’t know any better, so he’s just scared.”

The sheep looked up at her. “You’re ve-ery analytical.”

“Changeling,” Lepidos shrugged. “So… um, how much does wool sell for?”

“No idea; probably about twenty bits a pound,” Daisy Jo, one of the gathered cows answered. “But really dear, don’t you think that you’ve given poor dolly enough questions?”

“But this is important,” Lepidos protested. “If I don’t get answers, how are we going to ever get more friends for our cult?”

Daisy Jo visibly winced. “… A… a cult, dear?” The innocence in Lepidos’ mind was evident as she nodded. “I don’t think that means what you think it does.”

“It’s not a mean cult! It’s a cult of harmony! The cult of harmony!”

“Well, if it’s not mean, then it’d be a society, wouldn’t it?”

“It’s a cult. Cults gather around unpopular beliefs. Harmony’s forbidden in the changeling kingdom, it’s a cult.”

Daisy Jo backed away, slowly. “…Oh. I’m terribly sorry. I had no idea how badly you all had it.”

Lepidos sniffled, wiping her eyes. “S’okay. You do now.” Then she turned with a pleading look. “Would you like to know about our cult?”

Daisy Jo smiled softly. “Well dear, I think I would love—”

“PLEASE DO!” A voice shouted from further behind the croud.

The group of sheep, cattle and changeling nymphs shot their necks at the perceived source of the outburst. “What was that?!” a bull shouted.

“Me, me, it was me!” the voice insistently called out. The figure in question pushed itself forward through the crowd, eagerly making its way towards Lepidos. “Please, I want to hear about your cult!” Judging by the looks upon the farm dwellers, the… sheep in question was not exactly one they had ever met before, much less knew. He trotted forward excitedly, glimmer in his eyes as he pushed around the others with little regard for personal space. Were it simply his enthusiasm to hear the little nymph’s tale, it would have been strange enough, but there was another way he stood out. Every sheep on the farm was a white-wool sheep. This one on the other hand was black. He stuck out like a sore thumb. Big grin plastered upon his face, he begged the little nymph. “Would you please tell me about your cult? I’ve always wanted something like this— I’m just too old for it now— or at least so I thought—”

“Um… who’re you?” Lepidos asked somewhat nervously?

The black sheep’s eyes glistened, cloudy and pale blue they might have been. “Come on, don’t you know me?”

Lepidos stared. The changelings stared. The cattle and sheep stared, scrutinizing the intruder upon their little herd gathering. Suddenly, everything clicked for Lepidos as she realized one thing.

This black sheep was not a sheep at all; and there was only one person who would do such a bad job at acting.

“…Uncle Thorax?!”

Author's Notes:

Say, who remembers this thing? I only barely did. It's been a long time coming, you know? Anyway, I apologize for the lack of updates, it's just simply been off my radar for a while. Unfortunately, I cannot make any promises about putting more work into this story, because I'm simply unsure if I'll actually deliver on them. To whoever stuck around, I'd like to thank you for doing so, and I'd like to thank my proofreader Gaster for all his hard work in earlier chapters and the previous story, and hope to continue receiving revisions from him in the future.

References:

(1) From /story/49630/11/fed-up/the-catch

(2) Yes, she did actually have the decency to ask this time.

Canterlot 02: Her Royal Painfulness Presiding

Day court: the time in Canterlot where the subjects of the crown may petition her for just about any matter of personal, financial, or public concern. Princess Celestia Del Sol would usually take four hours out of her day to personally speak with her subjects, trying not to scare them off with any number of poorly worded statements. But when everything goes right for her during court, all her subjects leave feeling pleased when their petitions are accepted— or enlightened when they are not.

Unfortunately for everypony involved today… The throne had an intern princess lacking in experience, and she was a truly special kind of inexperienced. She stood upon the throne with an apathetic look, surveying all she saw— which to be fair, wasn’t much— and daring anypony who might approach to try and make her day.

“Send in the first petitioner,” She called out to the guards at the doorway on the far end of the throne room. “I want to get through all of them before whenever you ponies have lunch.”

Luna flinched. This was already going as badly as she thought it would, and she didn’t even see anypony yet! But things were surely going to get worse over time in her opinion, because the first petitioner was being let inside already. Don’t you screw this up, Chrysalis…

The announcer called out: “Presenting the gentlepony Master Jet Set on a concern of—”

“Save it! I only need the name from you,” She replied, cutting the announcer off entirely. When the pony entered, she leaned forward. “Pony, you’re in the house of the highest court of Equestria… despite my best efforts… Now show your respect to the princesses, and kneel.” Despite Jet set’s obedience to the order, Luna took the liberty of jabbing Chrysalis in the side. “Ouch, what’d I do?!”

“You out of your mind?!” Luna hissed. “Celestia runs her court in such a way to bring about a mutual trust and respect for her and her petitioners! Demanding that your petitioners grovel is rude and proves you do not trust them.”

“Well that’s good seeing that I don’t trust any ponies in the slightest,” she hissed back. Luna jabbed her in the side again a little more forcefully, but she grit her teeth and ignored it. Who cares about what she thinks? I’m the presiding court official today, dang it! She looked down upon the pony that kneeled before her who was stealing glances at her when he thought she wasn’t looking. “Jet Set, you have five minutes to impress me. State the reason you decided to soil the courtroom with your inferior pony hooves.”

“What is wrong with you…!” squealed Luna in such a way that only she and Chrysalis heard.

Impressively, Jet set did not take offence to what she had said. Perhaps he didn’t care— or was oblivious to who was hearing his case. “I am here to make a complaint, your majesty.”

“And I can think of several. Enlighten me, little pony.”

“The school in the northern district is disturbing the peace. They create excessive noise and disrupt business carried out by the pony folk on the streets and near homesteads.”

“What kind of noise?” Chrysalis asked.

“The children are out of control, your highness! They scream all day unceasingly every hour! My wife has complained about headaches as a result of it all, and while I disagree with her that the school should be shut down, something simply must be done to bring the dignified quiet of Canterlot back again!”

For any other pony, the answer to such a petition would be refusal. The ideals the good Equestrian nation held were clear— a school running its normal business could not legally be blamed for the noise children made in periods between classes. Only an idiot would try to find a solution to the petitioner’s “problem”.

“You know what? I think your wife’s right,” Chrysalis said. “I wouldn’t normally bother with something like ‘noise’, but I can sympathize with the problem of pesky children. I’ll have the school shut down in a week or two.”

Luna shot up from her seat. “CHRYSALIS, YOU WILL NOT!!”

“Why not?” Chrysalis snorted.

“Because the law says so, that’s why! Did you even read any of those law books I gave you this morning??”

“I certainly did; they were the most dull and uninteresting things I ever skimmed through.”

And there it was; the fragile ego that the changeling queen kept fed with a vile mixture of selfishness, laziness and self-delusion. It was inarguably unpleasant, and much of the reason why she was here where her unique form of authority could be quickly corrected, and not at her own kingdom where she could continue to tear apart her and everypony else’s little slices of the world.

It would not stand. Luna put on her best fake smile, which was pretty bad even for the standards of fake smiles, in an attempt to politely demand for privacy from the gentlepony Jet Set as she set the record straight with the questionably competent intern princess. She set up a sound muffling shield without so much as waiting for a go-ahead and glared at the tiny tyrant. “So you’re telling me you skimmed?”

“Of course I did,” the tyrant snarked, “would you have read any book if it was as sorry an excuse for literature as those wastes of paper?”

“Literature—?!” Luna gaped, stammered and spluttered. “They’re—they’re not literature, they’re informational books about the law this country uses to keep it from falling into chaos, which you are subject to and the executor of and therefore should have taken the time to study in detail!”

“Ha, as if you ever read a single word off those stupid things!” Chrysalis sneered.

“After my little thousand year vacation, part of my duty to prove myself as an acceptable ruler was to read and memorize the law. I read all ten royal books of law cover to cover and passed a written law exam three months later. I gave you two abridged books, and you skimmed them.”

“Oh but your pony laws are simple Lulu; just find anything that doesn’t fit in with your silly little values of friendship guilty because you say so and throw them into a volcano.”

Luna gaped. That was offensive. Just what was she trying to do, make her angry? Because if she was doing that; it was working. “That’s a gross misinterpretation; and need I remind you just who is in charge here? Don’t call me that name.”

“Oh please, we both know you’re all bark and no bite unlike your dear big sis—” Luna did not let her finish her sentence, snaring her in her magic to be held within mere inches from her insectoid face. Chrysalis did not seem to understand why she was being admonished. Perhaps a little bit of intimidation? “…Did I go too far?” She squeaked.

“You should be asking yourself…” she replied with a withering glare, “If you really want to test my patience. I was the pony who tried to shroud the land in nighttime eternal because of a perceived slight from my sister and ponies against me and my domain. Control of a celestial body is no laughing matter; I hardly believe that you want to give me a legitimate reason to use that power against you personally. See to it that you don’t bring me to that point, is that clear?” It seemed the intimidation method had worked out as planned, leaving the ex-queen nodding her head dumbly. “Good.” That was probably going to bite her in the butt later on, but at the moment she didn’t care; the issue was solved for now. Setting down the changeling, she dissipated the sound blocking shield around the two of them. “I so very sorry Jet Set, but the law is clear on noise from school houses. Children playing are not acceptable grounds for noise complaints.”

To his credit Jet Set did not immediately turn away in a huff, but he did drop his ears in disappointment. “Oh… I suppose that something so drastic would be out of the question. But nevertheless, my wife will still be having headaches if I don’t do something.”

“I think,” Luna said, “You should invest in a sound warding spell… and a mage to make such a thing if you find yourself incapable of doing it. If your wife’s headaches continue, I do not think you’d benefit by seeing either of us instead of a doctor. Your complaint has been dismissed.” With that, Jet Set left the courtroom the way he came, mildly disappointed, but otherwise accepting of the princess of the night’s ruling; having found an alternative solution which would have been second nature to any other pony. This was the lot of the princesses in court; continuous complaints about whatever and proposals for rubbish that would certainly hurt the country as a whole in a matter of years— though those poor, brainless nobles had no idea, only seemingly being able to think into the next week ahead.

Luna sighed as the next petitioner came in after a far more reserved call from her intern princess. Why couldn’t all royals and nobles be like her beloved sister and Fancy Pants? Sure they had their bad moments, but they were the best of this blasted festering, stagnant city everypony called a capital. She checked the clock. Still four hours left of course, considering they just started this farce. She leaned over to Chrysalis speaking softly but with a considerable amount of venom behind the words. “Just so you know; we shall be talking about your poor study ethic when first break rolls around.”

If a pony were to ask how her court day was, Luna would probably sigh pathetically and claim that no amount of coffee would do anything to placate her misery. That was an exaggeration of course; coffee was her lifeblood, especially for staying up especially long during the day. That day’s court time was a disaster, not because the nobles were proving themselves to be insensitive or simply some manner of vile, but because Chrysalis had quite well proved how incapable she was at running court, partly because of her lack of studying and partly because she just didn’t care.

Now they sat at the table in the kitchen of the royal sisters’ private chambers. A fine, expansive enclosure, it was good for engaging in social, private meals the two (Or three whenever Cadance was around) might have with friends and family— or simply for sitting on opposite ends, because the opposing parties despised each other. Chrysalis’ nose was just barely above the table as she eyed the strangely shaped condensed love that came in that morning. “…It looks like a gummy heart.”

Luna swallowed a mouthful of her sandwich, snorting. “Cadance found it fitting, shaping condensed love into little symbols like that. If you don’t like it like that, I can tell her; but I doubt she’ll listen.”

“Right,” she mumbled. Tentatively, Chrysalis sniffed at the changeling food, licked it and finally picked it up with her forelegs before taking a small bite from the point of the candy heart. “…Doughy, sweet and warm,” she described it, “it’s like it has no depth to it, just bland, directionless affection… how disappointing.”

“My heart bleeds for you,” Luna scoffed, “but that would have never happened if you had not used your children as a means to take over my country. Still, that’s not the thing we should discuss at this point. Your ability to study leaves much to be desired, and considering that this was essential material for rulership that you failed to study, it’s eventually going to lead into a whole lot more trouble than the trouble that happened today with that first petition.”

Chrysalis’ ears drooped in an attempt at gaining sympathy (which Luna was of course no fool to be tricked by). “But they’re so booring… I could be doing stuff instead of reading textbooks…”

“A most terrible excuse; boredom does not permit you to avoid your duties— After all I spend many nights searching the dreams of my little ponies for any nightmares only to find nothing of concern. But without me on those nights were I do find nightmares, those fears and pain would come into the waking world, themselves causing pain, fear, and even in the worst cases death. Is that the sort of problem you’d want?”

Chrysalis gulped a piece of condensed love forcefully enough to be audible. “I-I’m sorry, but I just don’t see what dreams have to do with rulership.”

“A lazy ruler is an inadequate and disliked one,” Luna explained. “You refuse to study your business, you will make uninformed and selfish decisions, leading to parties being unintentionally hurt or run out of their life businesses.” She wiped her lips with a hoofkerchief. “Some have killed themselves because of such bad decisions; I have lived plenty long enough to see all sorts of cases. Again, is that the sort of problem you want?”

“…But I’ve never had that problem,” Chrysalis mumbled.

“Explain.”

“I just always told my drones what to do… and they figured out how to do it.”

Luna stared at her, genuinely stunned. “No wonder you had so much trouble running court.” She shook her head. “Never mind. The point must be made, Chrysalis, that I expect you to resume studying— and I do mean studying— before you even think of coming back to court.”

Chrysalis simply nodded her head. “…What’s next?”

Luna called over the royal aide, Raven, who handed over the agenda to her to read out. “Well aside from day court, we have—not in any particular order — a few proposals from the noble houses, a press conference regarding your presence as intern Princess of Equestria, and…” Luna frowned. “Oh dear, we’ve got the annual assessment of Tartarus.”

Chrysalis perked up, “Tartarus?”

Luna frowned deeper, “Yes, Tartarus.”

“You mean the place where the worst of the worst in your country go?”

“Yes…”

“The Tartarus where the vile, unredeemable creatures of the world are locked away to rot forever because nothing else has worked?”

“in a way…” Luna growled.

“The Tartarus where you would have put me if there wasn’t otherwise a convenient volcano to do so?”

“Yes Chrysalis, that Tartarus!” Luna yelled, tossing down the paper she held in her magic onto the table. “The very same one ponies use to describe any sort of unpleasant situation! That Tartarus! Do you still want to go prattling on because you somehow still don’t get it?!” Wisely, Chrysalis crammed the last of the condensed love into her mouth so as to not say anything else that might irk the princess— of which Luna was plenty grateful for. “…I didn’t think so. Now then, back on topic,” Luna picked up the paper once more, looking carefully at the contents.

“The annual assessment of Tartarus is an assessment of the goings on in that prison: How the prisoners are faring, if there are any upcoming hearings, what sort of problems might have occurred— anything that the warden brings up really.” Luna glanced up from the paper to answer the unspoken question. “No, Cerberus is not the warden of Tartarus, just a guard dog responsible for bringing the escapees back in. As charming he might be, somepony has to make sure everything runs smoothly, and the slobbering mutt does not have the capacity for understanding the nuances of paperwork.”
Chrysalis gulped part of her mouthful, nodding nervously.

“Chrysalis, when this assessment goes underway, I expect you to be on your very best behavior. Those who have attempted to change for the better are hardly perfect, and I have met a warden or two who have unreasonably demanded respect. These are the strongest of the worst. Any perceived slight against them will not go unnoticed, and the summoning circle they are bound inside may not save you from a magical blast.”
Chrysalis choked on the last little bit of condensed love before finally swallowing. “S—Summoning circle?! You mean that the assessment requires summoning a demon?!”
“Not in the way you think,” Luna calmly replied, “’Demon’ was only ever a title for the various guards and other staff of that place; but they do come close to that.”

Luna returned the paper to Raven. “Anyway, we should probably get this over with. I can only hope that this warden is nicer than the last.” Luna plucked the squealing changeling ex-queen up in her magic, towing her along to the courtroom despite her protests— which would most likely be dark now for the event. The Brotherhood of the Shadow of Twilight from her experience always enjoyed its theatrics when “summoning demons from the depths of darkness”.

Within the courtroom of Canterlot Castle, Luna had the privilege of witnessing the process of bringing forth the next warden from Tartarus for the first time since her extended vacation on—or in the moon; her memory was hazy during that time. One thing was clear though, the brotherhood changed very—very little during her absence. They walked into the dark room single-file, arranged themselves in sets of four in front of the throne and bowed deeply, right hooves forward. Seeing their faces was impossible; deep red robes concealing their identities before they even bowed in the first place.

Luna was mildly unimpressed, but Chrysalis shook in her non-existent boots. “Rise,” Luna said dully, “The crown welcomes the society ‘Brotherhood of the Shadow of Twilight’ into her presence. Let its elder step forward and be recognized.”

The elder in question—a mare, to Luna’s surprise(*)— did so, care taken in her steps to allow her robe to trail elegantly behind her. “Your majesty,” she said, “It is an absolute pleasure that you would host us for our ceremony. Our society has waited a long time for your return. Your beauty which your sister often boasted of was not done in exaggeration”

Luna scoffed, “Fflatterer. Shall we get this over with? I’m sure the warden is becoming impatient.”

“As you wish,” she said. They immediately got to work. As they gathered around in a wide circle, one among their ranks pulled out skulls, passed around to points in their circle.

“S-skulls?” Chrysalis whimpered. “Just what the hay do you ponies do behind the sweet, saccharine exterior of your country??”

“The skulls belong to deceased members,” Luna casually explained, “generously donated to the brotherhood after their deaths by natural causes.”

“And the red stick they’re using to draw with??” Chrysalis hissed, frantically pointing at the slow drawing of a pentagram on the floor.

“Easy materials to receive; a mixture of chalk, berries, bone and coagulated sheep’s blood for conductivity of magic. I’m not sure why you’re bothered by this.”

“You’re using pieces of the dead to summon demonic entities out of Tartarus! What is wrong with this picture?!”

“I seem to recall that you killed a little cat-creature in order to scare three fillies into shutting up,” Luna refuted.

“That’s different!” Chrysalis squeaked “Ponies expect me to be mean and nasty! You’re supposed to be cute and cuddly! How is this cute and cuddly?!”

Luna paid absolutely no mind to Chrysalis’ questions, staring forward as the brotherhood lit the candles inside the skulls. “It’s time Chrysalis. I expect you to keep quiet unless you’re spoken to.”

The brotherhood, satisfied with the runes and lit skulls, stomped their hooves simultaneously on the ground. The unicorns among them lit their horns and the pegasi flapped their wings creating a gale in the room. The runes started to glow, first a dull red then a hot yellow before finally bursting into flames, filling the room with a bright orange glow. The castle shook, and when the fires cleared, there was the newest, most terrible demonic entity to be bestowed the role of warden of the place where you abandon all hope should you ever enter.

Luna was sure that the lightshow was more extravagant than the last time she presided over one of these meetings. “Finally we can get started,” Luna stated nonchalantly, “I’d like to congratulate you on your new position as warden. It’s exceedingly rare to get such a position I would suppose, given how many creatures were probably admitted to such a place over the time I was absent.”

“Thank you,” said the demonic entity—which was not actually as horrible as a being Luna would have expected, “But I’d rather have been summoned at a more convenient time.”

“Why so?” Luna asked.

“Addictions are a real pain.” Luna finally looked up to see who she was speaking with. The warden this year stood tall, balanced on two feet. She was covered in a fine brown coat, but she had far more similarities to a cat than a dog like the diamond dogs ponies were more familiar with. A different set of robes from what the brotherhood wore was covering most of her waist and torso, and her cat’s eyes were baggy.

Luna formed a connection fairly quickly. “Catrina? I had thought you got over your addiction.”

“You know her?!” Chrysalis nearly yelled.

“Quiet,” Luna muttered.

“Oh I would have,” Catrina replied to Luna’s initial statement, “had it not been for the nasty withdrawal witchweed has on creatures.”

“Ah. So that’s why you…?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” the warden cut her off with a glare. “I’m here for the assessment, not to give you my life’s story which you already know.”

“Apologies,” Luna curtly replied, “Please tell me the state of the prisoners.”

“Most everything has remained the same,” she said, pulling out a scroll from beneath her robe. “The prisoners stay mostly behaved, and recent projects to one day reintegrate said prisoners into society in the distant future has dropped the rate of injury from fights breaking out.

“I say ‘mostly behaved’ because of a recent discovery sometime last year. About two years ago our guard dog Cerberus escaped, and we locked down the entire prison until such a time when he could be retrieved. After the event, we did a headcount to make sure none of the prisoners escaped then resumed normal activity. Unfortunately it turned out after my induction into the position of warden that we had miscounted that day, so I looked through the list to see who might have been missing.” She dropped the scroll to her side. “I’m afraid I have to inform you that one of the prisoners has escaped Tartarus; probably sometime during the Cerberus incident. We were hoping you could be on the lookout for that dangerous criminal in light of the previous warden’s inability to—”

“ONE OF THE TARTARUS PRISONERS HAS ESCAPED?!” Chrysalis screamed. Luna very quickly clamped the changeling’s mouth shut.

This of course did not go unnoticed by the warden. She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “…Who is that?”

“That,” Luna said, pointing to her whimpering royal trainee, “Is Chrysalis, the idiot I’m trying to make into a proper princess. By all means, please continue.”

Luna had thought that her explanation was reasonable and enough to excuse her and Chrysalis; however the warden wasn’t too happy with the interruption. Her hands glowed red. “I think she needs to leave.”

Luna sighed heavily; So much for the assessment going smoothly.

Chrysalis seemed to have dropped into an inconsolable state. Not exactly the most productive state— Luna was planning on having her study again while she handled the proposals, but it was hardly like she had any control over the changeling “princess”’ mental faculties.

She supposed that was what she got for threatening nightmare moon on her. Now Chrysalis was laying in Luna’s bed— it was the only way she could get her to stop screaming about doom upon the entire continent— while she idly looked through the stack of proposals, signing some and vetoing most. The predicament of Chrysalis was a bizarre one. She certainly did not want anything to do with friendship, and her greatest desire was to rule the whole of Equestria with an iron hoof sucking the love of its denizens dry; and buck anypony who just happens to be in the way of her goal. But she was not an actual threat either with the rigged crown that completely cut off all her unique-to-her-race powers, including that of being able to actively consume love. It reduced her to a sad and hopeless state.

To make it clear, Luna did not like Chrysalis; the changeling did far too much for her to even think about liking her. But pity was not beyond her for Chrysalis. Yes, she had invaded Equestria trice and was completely deserving of the ire of her blood children. But she knew despair, pain and the like when things just couldn’t go one’s way no matter how hard they tried. It was what put her down the path of darkness in the first place, and if she had any possibility of returning to that… well that was why she couldn’t let it happen again, was it?

So she knew she had two things to do; one was to provide some comfort to the little pest despite how much she didn’t like her, and the other was to make sure she never forgave herself for nearly killing her beloved sister all those hundreds of years ago. And if she had to use some creative measures to do that, then—

“Hey, can you stop?” Luna jumped at the voice behind her, surprisingly polite compared to how she usually acted.

Luna turned around with a mix of irritation and surprise. “…Stop what?”

“The brooding,” Chrysalis mumbled. “I can’t consume love directly, but that doesn’t prevent me from tasting emotions… It’s like rotten fruit, please stop.”

Luna sat for a while, staring at the changeling who was occupying her bed. Perhaps she was doing something wrong herself? She shook her head. Didn’t matter, Chrysalis was more important right now. She got up to approach her, trying to hide her ire against the changeling. “…I’ll try,” she said as she reached the bedside. “But if I can’t be moody, neither can you. Any way I can help out with that?” Chrysalis grunted. “Right, we can try a glass of warm milk; helps me feel better at least.” Luna stepped away to head outside and summon a maidservant, but just as she reached for the door handle, the door opened on its own, and there was a pony already with milk in hoof. “Oh—! How long were you there, anyway?”

“Long enough!” the pony said. “A warm glass of milk, right?”

Luna quirked an eyebrow, “…Yes. And just how did you get that milk so quickly?” It was at this point that Luna took a good look at the pony on the other side of the doorframe— an earth pony dressed in the typical maidservant uniform, deep brown coat and amber color hair contrasting severely with her outfit. Her golden eyes sparkled like somepony who thought of a brilliant idea, and she stood a little too close for somepony who was supposed to be a humble servant. “…And are you new here?”

The pony giggled, nodding. “Of course, it’s my first day; and how else, your highness? I used magic!”

Luna narrowed her eyes. “You’re an earth pony.”

The pony looked cross-eyed at her forehead, and a strange clarity crossed her features. “Oh, of course! How clever your majesty! May I come in?” The pony didn’t even wait for Luna to say yes, simply walking between her legs and over to the nightstand by her bed where she set down the warm milk. Luna was starting to be very suspicious of this new maidservant. A pony somehow forgetting she had no horn was the sort of thing to do that.

Of course Luna immediately acted upon her suspicion. “I’d like to know your name.”

The pony paused. “Me? Oh no, a little pony like me doesn’t need to be on a first name basis with one like you!”

“I always get to know the names of my maidservants to more easily call for them,” she replied evenly. How the pony responded would be her final decision on the matter, as Luna was a rather impatient individual and was actively looking for some evidence that this was a crooked pony.

When the pony responded, that was all she needed. The pony looked back at her worriedly. “Honey, please; you’ll blow my cover!” she said. Luna showed her just how much she cared about the pony’s “cover” by dispelling her disguise. “…Unless that was your intention?”

Standing in front of her— rather surprised— was a changeling of a different ilk. She stood about as tall as Luna’s big sister with chitin and hair matching the same colors that she had in her imposter pony form. However she was very different to Chrysalis. A generous coat of amber fur lined her chest, shoulders, ears and the ends of her legs. Her wings, also amber, resembled more of a moth’s than a dragonfly’s, and seemed to sparkle like dust particles in the sunlight. All in all, she seemed far healthier than Chrysalis ever looked.

Luna plucked the changeling up in her magic tapping the still-despondent Chrysalis on the shoulder. “Chrysalis?”

“Go away!” She shouted.

“I just caught a changeling here, orange fur and moth-y wings; is she one of yours?”

Signs of life in the ex-queen could be found as she turned over. “What? No! any changeling like that belongs to my—” Chrysalis stared at the changeling floating in the air. Slit emerald eyes met golden ones. “…Oh, hello big sister.”

“See? This is why I didn’t want my cover blown!” said sister whined.

Author's Notes:

That's another chapter down the drain. Whoof, it's been a long time, hasn't it? I must apologize to what little following I have on this story; my primary project has been a comic over on DA, which you can folow here.

Writing's hard, man.

Footnote below.

(*) The Brotherhood of the Shadow of Twilight had a reform in the past four-hundred years to allow mares membership into its ranks. Luna would eventually learn that officially they issued this reform because of changing times— but the actual reason was because the wife of the elder at the time was tired of waiting for her husband to come home from who-knows-where, and thus insisted that she invite him to his outings, or he would be sleeping on the couch for the next year.

Ponyville 3: Uncle Thorax

“Uncle Thorax?!”

“Uncle Throax”; that’s what Lepidos liked to call the oddball worker changeling of her mother’s hive who seemed particularly fascinated by ponies. Ponies this, ponies that, ponies are very soft, ponies like to sing and “Hey Princess, I found this pony stuff while out in Equestria, would you like to take a look?” It would be completely fair to say that Lepidos learned just about everything she knew about ponies because of him. It would also be completely fair to say that he was the very reason the cult of harmony started in the first place. Thorax always emphasized how colorful and fluffy they were, and Lepidos’ brood wanted to find out personally at the time if they were like that.

Thorax was not exactly an uncle to her really. If he really was an uncle, she would have to call every worker changeling an aunt or an uncle too— it was something called gen-tics? Whatever it was called, that was just how changelings worked. Nevertheless, uncle to her he was, for she had a special relationship with him; one where she could be open and honest without risk of punishment. It was for this reason that she asked: “What in the heck are you doing here??”

Thorax cringed at the question; clearly this was not how he expected their meeting to go. “W-well isn’t that obvious?” he said, trying to shrug it off, “I want to join your cult!”

Lepidos could read her uncle like an open book. Whenever he was worried about something or for someone, his left hoof would lift up slightly in the air, sometimes coming back down to make circles in dirt and sand. If he was very worried, his ears would twitch and his wings would rub together. So yes, she knew that he was worried but because she was changeling royalty; actually getting him to admit how he was feeling to her was like pulling fangs. (1) “Uncle, don’t lie to me…”

“But I do! It’s a nice cult and I want to be a part of it! Don’t you want changelings to join your cult?”

Lepidos scowled. “Your ears are doing the twitchy-thing.”

He tried to stick with his story. “Lepidos, please; just tell me how I can sign up?”

Finally she had enough. “Uncle Thorax, stop it!”

Often enough, changelings had ways that their innate ability to disguise themselves could be disrupted. Those ways could be from being knocked out, a loss of self-control, eating too much, “touching” where horns and wings would be, a pretty big sneeze or itch and in the worst cases touching another being. There was a reason, Lepidos knew, Thorax was never sent out to “infiltration missions” where he might be bumping into ponies left and right. One boop on the nose proved the little changeling princess right in her knowledge as Thorax’s head was knocked back slightly and his poor excuse for a sheep disguise burned away like flash-paper. Those sheep, cattle and ponies that only recently gathered let out a collective gasp, having not known that dear uncle was an adult changeling. Silly Equestrians; anyone that squinted could have seen through that disguise. It was the changeling equivalent of Groucho Marx! Maybe all adult changelings were bad at disguises. She had no idea— she only ever saw Thorax do the disguising thing “properly”, and a sample size of one made very dumb statistical evidence.

An awkward beat later Thorax finally caved in, sighing softly with ears folded flat. “Okay fine, you’re right… I’m not here just to join your cult.”

“…And?” Lepidos asked, not impressed.

“I’m here because the hive was worried about you,” he said, rubbing his foreleg, “You were gone for a day longer than we expected.”

Lepidos snorted; “Why, because they wanted to save their hides?”

“No!” he protested. “We’d be torn apart if you were gone! You and the rest of your brood are the nicest, sweetest changelings the hive has ever had and a ray of sunshine for all of us! Please believe me, Lepidos!”

Thus was their relationship; Uncle Thorax would do something silly or stupid, Lepidos would see right through it and then somehow he would say something else that completely made her love him all over again. It was infuri… annoying. “It’s a good thing I love you so much,” Lepidos grumbled.

“I love you too!” He beamed, hugging his little niece. Lepidos wordlessly returned the gesture. Affection delivered, the crowd dispersed from around them as the two left, taking their journey down the hillside to meet up with a rather ragged Celestia. But uncle Thorax didn’t seem content with keeping quiet during the short walk. “So um,” he awkwardly began, “where’s the queen? I thought she was taking you on the trip to Equestira?”

Lepidos sighed exasperatedly. “She was.” Uncle thorax urged her to continue, gently. “Chrysalis and we are not on speaking terms anymore.”

Thorax predictably gaped at her. “You’re not? But— But she treats you and the rest of your brood so well! And she loves you the most!”

“Doesn’t count when she hates everyone else you love,” she growled, “I should have talked to her about she treats you.”

Uncle Thorax tried to look stern. “She treats me just fine—”

“She hates your guts, uncle!” Lepidos shouted back, “because you like ponies just like me! And she said she’s been trying to invade Equestria for years and she locked away the pink princess to starve and ate her husband’s love and she invaded Ponyville and she tried to invade Equestria using us because we were a convenient way to keep the big sun pegacorn from attacking her! Why the hay did I listen to a meanie mommy like her?! You’re so much better than her and she—”

“Okay, okay!” Flinching, Thorax cut off Lepidos’ rant. “I get it, you’re right; Chrysalis is kinda a bit of a jerk.”

Lepidos stared disbelievingly; “Kinda?!”

“A huge jerk,” Thorax corrected himself.

“That’s only a little better,” she groused, “Words just can’t describe how peeved I am at her right now.”

“Watch your mouth,” he scolded. The two walked on, and Thorax continued the conversation despite it being a good idea to just keep his mouth shut. “But still, Lepidos… you really should be looking out for Chrysalis.”

“Why?”

“Because grudges aren’t healthy for a pony or changeling, Lepidos; they make an ugly, gross gob of hate build up in your heart, making you bitter and yucky, and unable to return any love to other ponies or changelings.” He tilted his head to one side, concerned. “I know how important the cult of harmony is to your brood. You wouldn’t want to be unable to give any love, would you?”

“What is this about being unable to give love?” Celestia asked. Thorax jumped at the sound of the pegacorn’s voice, ducking behind Lepidos in terror... kinda weird for him to be afraid of Celestia, especially since she was so messy-maned. “I only heard a small part of what you were talking about with—Lepidos, who’s that behind you right now?”

“N-nopony,” Thorax squeaked.

“Uncle,” Lepidos said, “It’s alright.”

The messy-maned pegacorn peeked around lepidos’ shorter-in-comparison frame. “…Oh? I had no idea that there were any adult changelings in your little group.”

Lepidos sighed. “There weren’t supposed to be…”

“I didn’t invade Canterlot, honest!”

“She’s not gonna hurt you!” Lepidos assured rather insistently, “she’s a nice pegacorn!”

Poor thorax was probably too scared to correct her on the proper term for a pegacorn. All he asked behind Lepidos (who was trying to make him show his face to the princess) was “are you sure?!”

Lepidos rolled her eyes. “She beat the hay out of Chrysalis when she found out she was trying to use us as leverage to gain control of the pony kingdom. Sheesh uncle, don’t the infiltrators tell you anything?”

A blink, a single twitch of an ear and a widening of the eyes, and the world found uncle Thorax enlightened by the new tidbit of information; “…Oh.”

“Oh,” Lepidos parroted sarcastically. As far as she was concerned, it was no longer worth her time to argue that Celestia was actually safe for him to approach, so she stepped forward a couple inches to make eye-contact with the oh so fair sun princess. “Your majesty, the worker cow… cowar… hiding behind me is Thorax… my uncle.”

When Thorax dragged his head up, he finally got to see who Lepidos was looking at the whole time… and the two could agree that Celestia certainly had better days as far as her physical features were concerned. Her mane was a mix of pink and mud brown, matted and snarled. It tried to flow in the wind, but the mess only made it good for slightly flopping around. Her fur was caked in the grime, plastered to her skin in odd directions and clearly making her feel very un-comfy. Her tail shared the same problem as her mane, dragging along the mud and making it hard for her to walk. Honestly, it seemed like only her face was spared of the very unwanted mud bath, because the pegacorn took care to hold her head up the entire time— or at least not fall face-first into the larger mud-puddles as she chased after the pigs to try to clean them off. Princess Celestia, in no uncertain terms, looked like all her royal dignity was lost somewhere in the pig-pen and she hadn’t bothered to go back for it.

Still Celestia allowed herself to approach and greet the changeling. “…Hello Thorax. Lepidos said you are her uncle; is that right?”

Thorax shrunk back.

Celestia persisted. “…Thorax, is that correct?”

“O-only genetically speaking,” Thorax squeaked, “That w-would otherwise require me to actually be her majesty’s brother.”

Celestia nodded sagely; seemingly ignorant of the poor state of her mane as it slapped against her neck from bobbing her head up and down. “Ah, how intriguing….” Brushing away a rebellious strand of hair away from her face, she continued; “Well Lepidos I suppose that farming is not meant for me… or I am not meant for farming. Either way I’m going to have to wash myself up before I tell Twilight I’m ready to move on from this… ordeal. In the meantime—pending your involvement in the first invasion of Equestria, I would like to say welcome to Ponyville, and would be very eager to talk with you.” Celestia flashed a warm smile, and then she walked herself as regally as a mud-covered princess could over to the Sweet-apple-acres farmhouse. “Applejack, would you kindly lend me use of your hose? I would like to get rid of the worst of the mud before I go inside to use your shower…”

Lepidos heard something from Applejack about using a wooden washtub, a scrub-brush and a hefty amount of bar soap being an acceptable alternative, but she was more concerned about Thorax… whose ears were twitching again.

“…Are you alright, Uncle?”

“H-how did she know I was involved in Canterlot??”

Lepidos rolled her eyes. “Probably your oddly pacif… spe… specific denial.”

Thorax blinked, and the world found him— once again— enlightened by the new tidbit of information. “… Oh.”

“Oh,” Lepidos parroted sarcastically.

Washing finished, Celestia lay on a couch in the living area of the farmhouse. It was actually very nice for her, having a rough and thorough scrub to get all the mud off of her. Her palace servants— when she actually let them into the bathroom with her— were just way too gentle. (2) The way Applejack treated the job she charitably took upon herself as a chore rather than a privilege was quite a breath of fresh air; she had no silly mane-style after it all, her coat did not smell of any particularly noxious perfumes, and to top it all off she still was clean as a whistle! Yes, her bath made her feel much better after all the trouble she had with the farm work.

“Uncle” thorax however, was not in quite such a good mood. The warm and inviting atmosphere of the little farmhouse did very little to make him feel better. Not even the “cult” of harmony congregated behind him could do anything to soothe his nerves; not their cute, bright eyes, not lepidos’ sympathetic demeanor as she lay right next to him, not Brother Formici’s official invitation to his cult… The way he was shaking like a leaf reminded her of her sun, always frightened that she was going to put it out. I’m going to have to get in touch with it soon, she thought to herself, it’s probably worried sick ever since I cut off my cosmic link a couple days ago. She shook her head, the gesture noticeable only to herself. No matter, I’ll just have to have that conversation tonight.

Celestia cleared her throat to get the attention of the new and interesting addition to the group of changelings. When Thorax jumped at the interruption to the quiet, Celestia returned a tender smile. “Thorax, the fact that you didn’t try to attack me when you first saw me in pony already makes you a better changeling than any of your kind that tried to raid Canterlot. I’m not going to hurt you.”

This did little to soothe the poor changeling; in fact he shrunk further into himself, whimpering. “You’re not gonna lock me up, are you?”

“Oh goodness, no,” she said with a wave of a hoof, “if I were to do that it wouldn’t help me, and it certainly wouldn’t help you or the nymphs.”

Thorax nodded nervously. “O-okay, what’re you g-gonna do to me?”

“I just intend to ask a couple questions about your involvement in Canterlot,” she said, “I understand that Lepidos seems rather fond of you, but I want to make sure that love isn’t misplaced. You can start by telling me what you were supposed to do during the wedding incident.”

Thorax squeaked, a sound only audible within a hoof-length or two from is source, and only if one still had full range of hearing in the higher pitches; this was Thorax’ attempt to answer the request without saying anything at all. It was cute enough to draw a smirk from Celestia, but she wasn’t buying it. Following the tilt of her head, he chose to properly answer the query—lest Celestia’s (actually practically infinite) wellspring of patience ran dry and he was thrown out into the Everfree or something by his ears. “I-I-I w-was a m-medical officer… Ma’am.”

Celestia giggled at the nervous stuttering. Poor thing, he’s tripping over his words! “I see. It’s a very important position Thorax, you should be proud of that. But tell me, what were you supposed to do as medical officer?”

“I… officially I was supposed to tend to any changeling wounded in battle that I could… b-but they actually w-wanted me to care for officers and ignore hoof-soldiers.”

“And what of ponies?” she asked, “I would imagine that a hurt pony would find it harder to feel love.” The entire cult of harmony nodded in collective agreement to her statement— also very cute to Celestia.

Thorax gazed sadly at the one pony filly in the room— the little apple tilting her head in confusion. “Ponies… were out of the question. They were the enemy after all.”

Celestia struggled to hold in her anger. Oh yes, it was completely understandable that no soldier would do anything to tend to a wounded enemy, it was still an outrage that Thorax’s superiors that day had the gall to demand sole care from the field medics, to completely ignore the underlings who half the time knew better than their officers— her teeth ground against each-other in an attempt to stifle a growl. It failed, and poor Thorax whimpered at the sound— as did the other changelings.

To this, Celestia resolutely stood up tall, hopped off her couch, determinedly stepped over to the sole worker changeling in the entire room, and when she lay herself down in front of him, ever-so-gently touched her head to Thorax’ skull, horns crossing, white-against-black.

This was incredibly awkward for Thorax. If chitin had the pores for it, he’d be sweating buckets. “U-uhm?!”

“Thorax,” she asked softly, “you do know those officers ordered something heinous, right?”

Thorax’s eyes awkwardly crossed as he tried to look back at her. “Y-yes?”

“You also know that an order like that must be disobeyed, yes?” Thorax nodded, still nervous being close to the most powerful princess on perhaps the entire planet. “…Did you obey those orders?” Thorax shook his head. “That’s very good to hear. So tell me, what did you do instead?” Celestia watched Thorax fidget in his current position with his head right up against hers. If she were honest with herself, she felt a little bit guilty about doing this particular method of interrogation to a pony so terrified to be in her presence… unfortunately, her acute need for information regarding the changeling worker’s involvement demanded that she do such a thing. She’d probably give him a cup of tea and a blanket after it was all over and done with, or something.

As if it was an insurmountable effort to do so, Thorax answered the question, and completely honestly. “It-it was maybe five minutes after the shield broke… of course, there was the shouting of panicked ponies across the city, but while I was nervously watching the guards do a poor job defending the city… I saw a pony fall from a window several feet up and break her leg on the landing.”

“Who was this pony?” She asked.

“A little filly with a pink coat,” he answered; “she had a crown mark on her flank, and the little crown she was wearing before she fell was almost just like it.”

Celestia saw Apple Bloom cringe out of the corner of her eye. Perhaps she recognized the pony in Thorax’s recollection? Celestia didn’t let it distract her. “I would have thought you’d managed to get her name.”

Thorax’s ears twitched. “Th-there wasn’t any time; she was too busy crying her eyes out to get anything out of her a-and I only had enough time to splint the leg with hive material and calm her down enough to get her back in her bed before…” He whimpered; the recollection apparently painful. “… before some pink wall of death smashed me through the side of the house and into who knows where.”

“Oh you poor thing,” she cooed, pulling Thorax into a hug and subsequently scaring him out of his wits. He struggled in vain for release as Celestia continued to speak words intended to be comforting. “I’m sure it must have been so hard for you to live among changelings who didn’t share your opinions of ponies…”

Thorax squeaked in protest, “Y-your majesty, please!”

“…And I’m sure it frustrated you to no end that they even bother to listen to what you were talking about…”

“P-please let me go!”

“No no, don’t talk yet; it’s okay, you don’t have to worry anymore.” Celestia’s hoof stroked Thorax’s fin, even as he tried to push her away and get back his personal space. “I promise you Thorax, for as long as you remain here, I will give you asylum here from the changeling kingdom, and full rights as a permanent resident or—”

It was at that moment when a wayward hoof from Thorax— whom Celestia had apparently not noticed was having a heart-attack from the super-close physical contact— struck her in the nose with a sound much like a squeaky toy, bouncing her head back, ruffling her pink hair and completely disorienting her. Thorax took the moment of luck as an opportunity to scramble out of the now loose hoof-hold and dart for the nearest open door, screaming “BAD TOUCH! BAD PRINCESS TOUCH!” as he headed for the hills and out of sight.

Celestia stared out the window of the farmhouse, hurt by what happened to her. “Was it something I said?”

The nymphs in the room looked at each other, passing along an unspoken question. Then when they seemed to get an answer, Brother Formici, esteemed leader of the cult of harmony stepped forward, gingerly sitting down next to Celestia. “Mizz pegagorn,” he lisped, “While it waz kind of you to acczept Thorax under your friendzhip, perhapz you were exprezzingk your affection a little too haztily.”

Celestia nodded softly. “I see; thank you little one.” Thorax was going to need cookies too; a blanket and tea were insufficient. But for now, she spent long enough not following the list Twilight had prepared for her. She still had time before she had to fetch Sunset from the high school she was attending. Now… where did my bookish little ex-student run off to?

Author's Notes:

Hey, here it is... Hope there's still a small following of people who like what I'm writing.

On another note, seeing how this story started just about right after the previous one, should I simply merge the two together, provided there's not some sort of rule against such a thing? I'd like to hear some feadback on that matter.

(1) Lepidos only knew what the act of pulling fangs was like because she watched one of her brothers have an infected fang removed. Sympathetic pain resonated through the entire brood, and none of them felt any better until after a serious cuddling session with Mother.

(2) So gentle that when she delicately sneezed because a bubble in her bubble bath tickled her nose, they pulled her from the bath, drained the water, and filled it up again without any bubbles because of a “health risk”. Celestia’s mood was much worse that day.