My thoughts were like the night sky: black and shattered. Each wave of emotion exploded violently, bright, and gone in an instant, only to be replaced by another. The inner turmoil within my very soul became bleak as the outcome from the Wingshire massacre. Nothing seemed to quell my thirst for understanding why my kind, loving brother killed those ponies. It wasn't like him to just do such an act of evil. I wanted to fly over to Ponyville, burst down his door, and scream at him, beg him to make my fears go away: to hear his deep, rough voice say those three magical words one more time, but I couldn't. I had to stay in Canterlot for the time being, the Wonderbolt Rally was too important to miss, but that didn't stop me from sending the word out to my wolves. Well, most of them.

Not all of my wolves believed that they could be real "heroes" out of a video game, which I understood. Only a handful followed my orders in the waking world. Night Blade, Shattered River, Obsidian Poppy, Nix, Ash, and Cinder were the aforementioned handful. I contacted them all through Night Blade to meet at the Castle of the Two Sisters, however. I knew Nix wouldn't show up. She was on the shy side and only talked to me on my scroll. Instead, I gave her another assignment to aid the rest of us, and her computer skills will benefit us greatly for what I have planned.

Thinking about my Silver Wolves did calm my nerves for a time as I walked from my hotel room back to the castle for my meeting with Cadence. They were part of my main squad on True Apocalypse and my most loyal. There were twelve in total, myself included, but the rest didn't care about the real world, only the game. Funny, when I asked them to aid me in the real world with a few things, I didn't believe most of them would actually help. It's good to know that my online friends cared about me.

I let out a sigh, my breath clouding my vision. From underneath my umbrella, I saw the castle gates coming into view. Even in the darkness and blanket of rain, the castle walls that separated it from city-proper was as clear as day. The limestone walls that sported scars of battles long past never looked intimidating at first glance. For most, it looked warm and inviting, safe even. One would have never guessed that five hundred years ago, those walls bore witness to the most bloody war in Equestrian history. A war with the very same enemy that threatened Equestria again.

Walking up to the east gate, two guards in full-plate armor crossed their spears in front of me. 'Huh, I wonder if they get cold in the rain?' I mused as the sound of metallic pitter-patter echoed ominously in the dark. The larger one of the two took a step forward and spoke with a muffled voice through his helm.

"Castle hours are closed. Please go home, ma'am."

"Crystal needs some comfort this night. Your new Captain of the Guard is being a mareizer, and she isn't taking it all that well," I yawned, causing the guard that spoke stiffen.

"I'm sorry to hear that, but my—"

"I'm pretty sure that my Countess status allows me to visit the castle after hours. I didn't become Thane of Court Noctus Luna for nothing," I cut him off abruptly.

"—I have never heard of such a thing," he growled in response.

"If you don't like it, then ask Celestia why she gave it to me when I was a filly running around the castle after hours with one of her prized students. I may not be from Canterlot, however. That doesn't mean my voice isn't listened to, and Princess Crystal Mi Amore Cadenza won't be pleased that her voice of comfort was denied entry during her time of need," I growled back.

The guard bit his tongue in defeat even though it was difficult to tell through his armor. Of course, most guards do when I told them of my real status in Equestria. Of course, my mom knew as well, same with Cadence. It was shocking for both of them when Celestia gave it to me when Sunset and I were found cuddling in the garden, and fast asleep all those years ago. Celestia wanted to make sure that her anti-social student had as many friends as possible, even to go as far as give titles to those that proved their worth. Unfortunately and Fortunately, I was the only one. The guard still didn't like it.

"How do I know that you aren't lying just to get in and pester her highness?" the guard asked with a little more venom in his voice. I took a step forward, a little annoyed myself and poked his metal chest with enough force to push him back slightly.

"Do I need to bring General Fury here? I don't want to bug my Grandfather this night just to get through a gate I know I have access to."

That got him to budge.

"H-How can I tell that you aren't lying?" he gulped.

"General Hawk Fury—Son of Hawk Tempest and Icarus Flight, Husband to Wolf Spectre, Father of Spitfire Hawkmoon and Fleetfoot Wolfbane—As heir to the Hawk Family: I, Winter Ruby Hawkfire Rose, will whine to papa until he throws you off of Canterlot Mountian in your armor," I said with a lot more sass than I would have liked, but it had the desired effect. "Should I go now? He lives just a few blocks away."

"T-That won't be necessary, go on in, just don't cause trouble," the guard squeaked and backed off. I gave him a smile through the rain before walking on through, much to the amusement of the other guard. Her little chuckle told me all I needed to know about the situation. She must have known who I was, but decided to watch her partner squirm to my threat. I didn't get her name, but I liked her.

Trotting on through the iron gate and the two-meter-thick limestone wall, I entered the east courtyard a little behind schedule. I didn't waste any more time then I had to. I went straight through the vacant courtyard towards a section of Castle that isn't used, well, not yet anyways. This side of the castle was meant for Princess Luna for when she returns from her lunar imprisonment. It had a wonderful view of the countryside due to the fact that the east-wing was situated near the cliff's edge. The place that I was rushing to where Crystal should be waiting for me is the tallest tower on the far side of the wing and passed the main hall. We call it our secret place only because the entrance is hidden with a spell, like Princess Celestia's private quarters.

The only way we found it was thanks to Sunset's ingenuity, and Trixie's help. Breaking the illusion spell so that us four could use Princess Luna's room as a little club house were some of the fondest memories that I have. Sure, Princess Celestia caught us in the end, but she let us use it for the time being. We were only fillies at the time that thought the room wasn't being used and made it a place of fun and peace. Celestia saw it as harmless fun, but when looking back on it now. I should have been more respectful.

Growing up, I didn't get all my memories all at once. Having the mind of an adult with an immense amount of knowledge would have screwed with the millions of neurological connections being created. Over the course of many years, my memories returned. The first ones to come back were academic like Math, English, and so on. Mom, at the time, thought I was a child prodigy which led to my early completion of high school before I hit puberty. To our family, and my sanity, it was a gift and a curse.

My early teens, during the most of my development from a child into an adult, was that hardest point in my life. Day after day, a memory of my past would return, showing who I once was. It confused me, at first, but that quickly turned to absolute horror. I had night terrors, strong ones: strong enough to make Mom sob for hours while holding my screaming, writhing, form. Dads presence did sooth my nerves, and calm the mortified Wonderbolt, but he wasn't always there. Mom took me to the hospital, begging them to make my demons go away. She even begged Celestia to "fix" her daughter, but Dream Magic was out of her league.

Over the course of two years until the day I got my cutie mark, I never left Mom's side at night. Sleeping on my own was simply impossible. My dreams were so bad, that my left wing—The wing I lost during Teresa's torture of me—Now has a permanent twitch. Every now and again, I would have ghost pain where I lost my wing in my second life. Sure I have it back now, but I will never forget the pain of having a metal fuse with my bones just so that I can fly again. I never told the other Spitfire that the surgery hurt more than pliers ripping feather after feather out of their pores. I didn't want her to kill Doctor Edgy. He was an amazing Doctor.

What has this got to do with respect? Well, if I had known that little Winter was practicing the magical art of tongue-on-tongue dance theory with Sunset and Cadence in Princess Luna's room. Then I would have taken our practice sessions elsewhere. I don't think the Alicorn of the Moon would appreciate the fact that her private quarters were used for lewd things. Especially if I am to be the one meant to protect said Alicorn from the Shadows. The awkwardness of it all is something I want to avoid at all costs.

On days like today, where the sky is black, and the heavens cry. My past crept on me with icy claws. Even as I entered the tower, the lives I once had were a far cry from the present. From homeless bum assassin to Empress of Country to a racing superstar, my life held constant flux like a toy. Even as I walked up a flight of stairs to Princess Cadence of all ponies, I knew that change was inevitable.

In my first life, Cadence was an animated T.V pony. In my second, she was a religious, homicidal dominatrix with a fetish for male humiliation. Now, in my third life, she is an emotional, shy, loving girl who had the responsibility of a world leader thrust upon her. I knew her when she was a Pegasus filly, living on a farm outside of Ponyville. She got dirty. She worked from sunrise to sunset. Hell, we used to tackle each other in the mud until our coats were brown! Ever since she came to Canterlot, she changed into the ponies we hate the most: the Nobility.

I know my grudge against her for transforming into an Alicorn doesn't hold water. It wasn't up to her to ascend into the Goddess of Love. She didn't utterly destroy Sunset, causing her to let loose Archmage levels of Pyromancy throughout the castle. As much as I want to hate her, blame her for everything... I can't. Not anymore.

Even as I stand outside a large dark wood door, with a simple symbol of the moon engraved with silver etchings of stars around it, I struggled to continue. With all my memories returned after that faithful day on the worst week of my third life. All my cunning, all my skills failed me. My hoof hovered over the latch with a rock in my throat. I hung my head in shame, ears flat against my skull. The ghost pain returned, reminding me of the magic used on my left wing all those years ago. Everything was crashing around me from my brother to the four in Ponyville. All my plans coming undone, and the one pony I want to yell at the most, begs for my comfort within the room before my trembling form.

'Fuck me,' I chuckled inwardly, 'life was easier when I'm out on the track flying in circles for the crowd. I can deal with the Griffin rebellion currently being fueled as we speak. I can deal with the four and Rexy without a problem, but why is it so hard to apologize?'

A single tear dripped onto the cold, stone, floor. Lightning clawed the sky to the right through a barred window. The sound of thunder boomed over Canterlot. My trembling hoof grabbed the latch and opened the door, revealing the bedroom of Princess Luna.

Three fillies laughed despite the scary sight outside the balcony window. They danced, jumped, and played on and around a large, circular bed. Pillows, blankets, toys, and books lay all around the empty room, yet remained untouched. A whitish-silver filly with a two-toned azure mane with mismatched eyes jumped on one of her giggling friends. The light pink filly with a three-toned: pink, violet, and cream mane gasped in shock before her friend tackled her into a tower of pillows. While this occurred, a light amber filly with a red mane with golden stripes, snuck around the other two. With a devious smile. She joined the attack.

"No! Stop! I can't breathe! Help?!" the pink Pegasus begged with bellowing laughter from her friends tickling her to death, but it was all for naught.

"Mwahaha!" the white Pegasus laughed after she stopped her assault, letting Crystal have her moment of respite.

"The day is ours!" the yellow Unicorn joined with just as much gusto. "Pink butt hath been defeated!"

"No fair!" the pink one whined from beneath the white one. With a smile, Winter gave a little peck on Crystal's nose, earning a blush from the once pouting filly. While this little detail happened, Sunny quickly changed sides and pushed Winny to the ground and began death-by-tickling on her.

"Down with the fluffy Empress!" Sunny roared, signaling Crystal to have her revenge.

For hours, the three fillies roughhoused with each other, ganging up on each other, and giving little gestures of affection towards one another. Half way through the stormy night, a maid walked in to check up on the three fillies and found them snuggled in a little pile on the bed, fast asleep. Her heart soared at the sight before she wrapped the three bundles of fur and wings underneath a large quilt for warmth. As the door closed, a flash of lightning blinded me for a moment, replacing the three fillies with one large Alicorn once my vision returned.

Sounds of heartbreak echoed in the empty room, coming from the weeping form curled underneath an old, worn, quilt. The sole occupant looked up from the giant bed, showing black streaks that were once her mascara coating her cheeks. Her amethyst eyes, once filled with endless affection and kindness, now red and puffy. Her stylized mane no longer held its luster, and its place was a birds nest of a hairdo. Off in the corner of my eyes lay a broken crown.

A crown neither of us wanted.

As quietly as I came in, I closed the door behind me with a sigh. When I turned to face her again, her ears lay flat with her muzzle buried in the soaked pillow. It was a sorry sight. I didn't need to say anything, nor tell her what I'm going to do next. I simply walked over to her, lifted the blankets much to her displeasure, and nestled my smaller body against her shivering side.

"Head up," I whispered into her neck, causing her to stiffen.

"W-Why?" she asked softly in between sniffles.

"I said 'head up,'" I repeated with a bit more force. Reluctantly with a few more sniffles, she did what she was told.

"There," I spoke more gently as I replaced her pillow with my neck, to which she used as a snot rag soon after, but I didn't mind. For a few moments of silence, while she got comfortable with my body pressed against hers, I draped my wing over her underneath the quilt. Even though I was almost two heads smaller than her, my wings were as big as hers. I let out a giggle when I felt the familiar heat of a blush radiate from her cheeks. Once she was comfortable again, I spoke.

"Crystal, how are you feeling?" I asked with genuine concern.

"Like shit," she replied.

"Why?"

"I... was dumped by Shining Armor instead of me dumping him, and... you were right, about everything," Cadence began solemnly.

"I highly doubt that," I rebuked with a somber chuckle.

"But it's true! You were right about the Love Thread, about me not having what it takes to lead, about everything since we were fillies! I didn't want to believe you cause' you were more Sunset's friend than mine, and little jealous Crystal Cadence couldn't see passed that to listen to your kind and caring words of wisdom. Out of the three of us, you were the eldest, the older sister always watching out for us. When you needed me and Sunset to pick you up in your time of need we... abandoned you."

"If only I'd known what happened to your father I'd—!"

"Cadence!" I calmly stopped her ranting. "Be calm and breathe, like we practiced."

"—S-Sorry," she coughed before the sounds of deep breathing filled the room. I cracked a smile at the little exercise she was performing. It helped her a lot while growing up. She would always freak out over the little things: from not handing in homework on time to meeting new ponies. From my position, I could feel her beating heart trying to escape her body, but in mere moments, it slowed to a gentle, seductive rhythm.

"Better?" I mused.

"Mmhm," she nodded into my neck.

"I'm glad. You had me worried there," I let out a content sigh. "I don't want to have pity sex with a mare ready to pace around the room for hours. It is very difficult to kiss the mare, let alone message her flower while it's moving."

"W-What?!" Cadence gasped, her head shooting up in surprise from its pillow. I frowned from the lack of warmth on my neck and looked up with a weak smile.

"Don't worry about me Cadence. I'm the big sister, remember? Sure I wanted some comfort back then, and it sucked when Sunset yelled at me before setting the Castle ablaze, but that's not your fault. The only crime you've committed in our friendship was not visiting more often."

"How?!" she bawled. "How can you say that?! I've been a total bitch to you since then!"

"Because," I spoke softly, leaning towards her with laden eyes, and just as she was about to say something else. The taste of bubblegum lip chap, the feeling of soft, yet, quivering lips, met mine. Her eyes went wide as mine closed shut to enjoy the moment. Before long, her body relaxed, and she leaned into me with a muffled moan. For a few, blissful moments, we held each other, seeking warmth both inside and out from the cold, cold world, but like Fleetfoots love life. It didn't last. Slowly, I pulled away, opening my eyes as I did so.

"I may not be the kindest, generous, funny, or honest of friends, but I am loyal. No matter what happens, I will always be there for you Cadance, regardless of you being a bitch or not," I finally said.

"W-Winny," she managed to choke out just as the dam broke again.

If it wasn't for the thunder and heavy rain, the cries and moans of an angel would have been heard throughout the castle.

Author's Notes:

If you can tell, I've looked at a few plans from WWII, WWI, and the Vietnam war. Whoever can figure them out, I'll give you a spicy meme.