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Already

by Jay David

Chapter 1: Already


It was the late afternoon, and many of the students of Canterlot High were making their usual journeys to their respective homes and hang-out spots. Smiles were abound on many of the girls and boys walking out of the place, but, in one room in particular, there was an air of seriousness. The school had a number of study rooms, all ready to be used by students who needed some extra time on homework or on their other studies. And today, one such room was being used, not by a whole group, as the teachers would prefer, but rather just two girls. Sunset Shimmer, a former unicorn of Equestria, and beside her, staring at an open textbook, was Derpy. Now, it was not usually common to see these two together, and yet, today, they were spending time together as though they were close friends, with Sunset breaking the long silence between them.

"Okay now, Derpy. You sure you have this?"

The blonde girl nodded, looking from her textbook over to a nearby notepad. She seemed deep in thought for a few moments, chewing on the end of her pencil, before breaking out into a small smile. She started writing furiously on the paper, until finally, she looked to it with satisfaction. Turning, she then handed it over to Sunset.

"How did I do?"

The Equestrian took the pad, looking it over for a few moments before breaking out into a smile of her own.

"Very good, Derpy. Your equations are getting better every time."

Derpy smiled sweetly at that, after which she started closing up her book and getting ready to pack it away.

"Thanks for all the help you've been giving me, Sunset. I'd have never figured this kinda stuff out without you."

A chuckle escaped Sunset's lips as she started packing away her own things.

"Don't mention it. It's the least I can do."

As soon as she'd spoken those words, and unbeknownst to her, Derpy began looking over her shoulder towards her. For a moment, her expression, for whatever reason, seemed one of unease, perhaps even fear. But, in the end, she put on another smile, giggling slightly before speaking up again.

"You know...you don't have to be giving me so much help, Sunset. I'm sure I could've..."

But, she was prevented from saying anything further, as Sunset chose this moment to turn and face her once more, her expression one of determination.

"No, Derpy. After everything I've done, I promised that I would help you in any way I could. Be it homework, or trying to sort out other stuff, I'm going to be there for you."

Nervously, the blonde girl started poking the ends of her fingers together.

"Sunset...I appreciate that. Really, I do. But...but maybe...maybe you don't have to feel like...like you have to do this."

Sunset stared at her, her face bearing a look that made it clear that she didn't understand Derpy's words. But, as time went on, the former unicorn took on a more morose look, staring down at her hands upon the desk, looking more than a little upset.

"Derpy...please. This is something I have to do! After everything..."

A grimace crossed her face before she carried on.

"...after everything that's happened to you....and because of me...it's my responsibility to see you through whatever troubles you have during this transition."

Derpy said nothing, instead watching as Sunset let out a long sigh. The latter closed her eyes, looking just as serious as ever, and in the silence that followed, Derpy developed into an unsure expression. Eventually, she looked down, gently placing a hand upon her stomach, and looking quite thoughtful. There was a hesitancy to her face, the kind of look that suggested that something was on her chest. But, as ever, she kept quiet. Looking back to Sunset, she saw the girl finally look to her, offering her a smile. Raising a hand, Sunset placed it upon her shoulder.

"Derpy...I know that what's happened to you is going to be difficult. And I know you have every right to blame me for what you're going through. But I promise you...no matter how difficult your situation...I'm going to be here for you."

And that was it. That was the final push that sent Derpy over the edge. The uncertainty in her expression had now reached it's zenith, and before long, she got up. Sunset watched, taken aback by this behaviour, and she watched as Derpy sped off, heading straight for the nearest window, wherein she looked out at the rest of the school. A few moments passed, and then, she started pacing up and down the length of the room, over and over again. Sunset continued to observe her, as confused as ever as to what was going on.

"Derpy...I know you're upset, but..."

But, she was halted, as Derpy looked to her with anger in her eyes.

"NO!!!"

Needless to say, Sunset took a step backwards at that outburst, shocked at the uncharacteristically aggressive behaviour her friend was displaying. And Derpy herself soon realised what she'd done, her eyes widening as she clasped a hand over her mouth. Slowly but surely, she started to move back to her chair, before sitting down. It took a few moments longer, but then, the girl finally started to let out a few sobs.

"I...I can't! I can't keep doing this!"

Sunset stepped forward, getting down on one knee and gently holding onto Derpy's hand.

"Derpy? What is it? Please, tell me. I can help."

But Derpy just kept shaking her head.

"Why? Why do you have to keep doing this? Being so helpful? It just...I can't keep going on like this!"

Sunset regained her look of confusion, shaking her head slightly as she spoke up again.

"Derpy...I don't understand."

Derpy looked her right in the eye, seeing the clear confusion there, and for a moment, she hesitated once more to say anything. She seemed to be in the middle of a fierce debate with herself, and so took a while to actually get her thoughts in order. But, when she did, she avoided looking at Sunset, speaking in a low and almost hushed tone.

"Sunset...you don't need to be giving me any help. This...this isn't your fault."

But Sunset, seeing the distraught look on Derpy's face, gave her a soft look before shaking her head.

"But it is my fault. If I hadn't brought that magic to this world to begin with, then..."

But, she was halted once more as Derpy interrupted her.

"It...you don't...I wasn't..."

It was clear that Derpy was having a hard time getting her words out. So, she stopped, taking a moment to take in a few deep breaths, all while Sunset watched her. In the end, the girl opened her eyes once more, looking to Sunset with a mixture of both seriousness and shame.

"...The heat didn't do this to me. It couldn't have done this to me. And I...I know this."

But Sunset just kept on looking to her with confusion, tilting her head slightly.

"What...what are you talking about? Of course the heat was to blame! It made you susceptible to another person's advances. It guaranteed that you'd end up with child. I mean, the only way it couldn't have been to blame was if...was if...if..."

The more she spoke those words, over and over, the slower she got. Eventually, she stopped, her expression becoming one of thoughtfulness. It took a while, but eventually, the former unicorn looked up, right into Derpy's eyes. And it was here that the latter looked away, the shame on her face becoming all the more evident now. Sunset saw it there, as clear as day, and her own expression became one of both disbelief and shock.

"Derpy. Were you...already pregnant?"

And here, Derpy could no longer find it in her to stand, instead becoming somewhat weak at the knees. She took to her chair, looking down at the ground before burying her face in her hands. Sunset stood there, looking at her with that same shocked expression, and the silence that followed was about as unbearable as you could imagine. But, when it ended, Derpy looked up to her, her eyes looking as if they were well on the edge of crying once more.

"It...it happened about a month ago. There was this new student, here on that temporary exchange programme."

Sunset finally shook herself out of her shocked state, looking to her blankly as she slowly nodded.

"Yeah, I think I remember him. Brown hair, a bit...eccentric. What was his name? Turny or something?"

Derpy nodded in response, looking back down at the ground as she answered.

"Turner. Yeah, that was him. When he got here, I was assigned to show him around, help him get used to being at this new school."

A look of nostalgia crossed her face as she continued.

"During his time here...well...we got to talking. We were both nervous, but he was really nice, and...and he seemed to like me too. We got close."

Unfortunately, her nostalgic look faded, replaced instead by one of regret.

"Then, one night, we...we..."

She couldn't finish, and instead, she shut her mouth tight, looking away. Sunset, having stayed silent this entire time, looked at the girl before her. Once more, a silence fell between them, and as it persisted, the former unicorn remained deep in thought over everything that had happened. Derpy kept quiet, but after a good deal of pondering, Sunset finally broke the silence.

"When I first heard about...about you, I was shocked. Like Twilight said, it shouldn't have made sense, finding out that you were pregnant so soon after the heat."

Briefly, she frowned, letting out a sigh.

"Now...now it makes sense."

Derpy, placing her hands upon her knees as she sat, clenched them into fists. She took a few sharp breaths, making it very clear that this was a difficult thing for her to be going through, though nobody could really blame her for that. When she'd finally worked up the nerve to speak up again, she looked to Sunset as she did so.

"When I found out...I...I panicked. I never told him. And he ended up going back home. He said his goodbyes, thanked me for...for everything. I never once gave him the impression that I wanted this thing between us to carry on, even knowing how far it went. It was one-time, and before I'd found out...we'd already talked about it."

Again, she looked away.

"He was as worried as I was about what we'd done, but...but we calmed each other down and reassured ourselves that it'd be fine. When I found out about...this...I couldn't...I couldn't bring myself to tell him the truth, or anybody else. So...I just kept quiet."

Raising both her arms, Sunset folded her arms, staring intently at Derpy.

"Why did you lie? About the heat?"

Derpy's eyes flashed in her direction for a moment, but, as ever, she looked away soon afterwards.

"I was scared. When I found out what had happened to me...I didn't know what to do. Then...then the heat came. It affected all of the girls, including me. When I found out what it was, and what it could have done to us..."

Closing her eyes, she let out a deep sigh.

"...I figured...I finally had a way out. A way...to..."

"A way to make people not look down on you?"

Sunset's interruption was unexpected, but when Derpy looked to her, her expression softened, becoming one of shame.

"Yeah...I guess that was the plan. If people thought I'd ended up this way because of some magical heat and stuff...they'd understand. They'd see it as something I couldn't control. But..."

Her eyes began to well up again.

"...but if they knew the truth...if they knew that it was just because of what I let happen...I...I don't want to think about it!"

Once more, she buried her face in her hands.

"I could hear them in my head as I made my choice! Stupid Derpy, they'd say! The idiot girl! Silly, wall-eyed Derpy, getting herself into trouble again! All the things I know they say behind my back!"

And here, the tears finally came, and she kept her face within her hands, sobbing as she tried her best to keep on talking.

"I just...I just wanted to be away from all that!"

The girl could see nothing around her in this state, and so remained where she was. Her crying was the only sound for quite some time, but, after what seemed like a good few minutes, there was a new sound to her ears. It was the unmistakeable sound of somebody taking a step closer to her. Instinctively, she flinched, expecting Sunset to let out a barrage of anger towards her. She expected rage and indignation over her deception, and all manner of things that would no doubt make her feel worse than she already did. But that's not what happened. Instead, the girl felt something on her hand. A warmth. A comforting feeling of being held. Slowly but surely, she lowered her hands, and as she opened her eyes, she saw Sunset there, looking to her with understanding.

"Derpy...it's alright."

As the blonde girl lowered her hands, with Sunset still gently holding onto one, she stared at her, looking confused and unsure.

"Wha...what?"

Sunset offered her a small smile.

"I mean it. It's alright. I'm not angry with you."

Derpy opened her mouth to say something, only to find herself continually dumbfounded.

"But...I...I don't understand. How? How are you not furious at me? I made you think this was your fault!"

To that, Sunset nodded.

"I know. But...but that doesn't change anything. You were scared, Derpy. You were terrified. And fear makes people do things they wouldn't do otherwise."

She let out a sigh as she continued.

"I can't imagine what it must have been like for you to go through all of this. It must have been like feeling you were backed into a corner, seeing no way out. And given that...well...I suppose it's not unreasonable that you'd try and find a way out of it, even if it meant lying."

Derpy turned away, looking as ashamed as ever.

"But I lied to everyone! To my friends! You've done everything you can to try and make me feel better and...and this is how I repaid you! With guilt and blame!"

Sunset nodded.

"Yes...you did. And while I can't say I'm not disappointed that you did that...it doesn't matter."

Derpy looked back to her as she continued.

"We're friends, Derpy. Friends forgive one another, even over things like this. I know you wouldn't have done something like this under normal circumstances. And besides...I still mean to help you through everything you're going through."

She held her hand tighter, looking to the girl with determination.

"We'll all help you. Your friends, your family...and the Father too."

Derpy's eyes widened with shock, and she shook her head frantically.

"No! I...I can't tell him!"

But Sunset frowned somewhat.

"Derpy...you know you have to. You know he at least has the right to know he has a child on the way."

Much like earlier, Derpy carefully placed her free hand upon her middle, even though there was, as-yet, nothing there to feel. Her expression became one of thoughtfulness as she considered Sunset's words.

"What...what do I do?"

Sunset looked away, pondering that for a moment before looking back to her friend, letting out a sigh before giving an answer.

"Well...the first step is to tell your parents the truth. After that, you'll need to get in touch with Turner again. Then hopefully you, and he, and your parents and his, you need to just come together and talk about this. And maybe...hopefully...you'll be able to work something out."

Though she had long since stopped crying, there were nevertheless tears still staining Derpy's face. But, as she raised a hand, she wiped them away, sniffling slightly before looking to Sunset. The look on her face made it clear to the girl that this was something that was needed. She knew she was right, and though it was undoubtedly difficult, she let out a sigh, her expression softening considerably before she looked back to her. It took a while, but eventually, she nodded, giving Sunset a silent agreement to her suggestion. The former unicorn smiled back, and just for a moment, Derpy felt as if things might actually get better. But, after a few more moments, Sunset took on a brief look of confusion.

"Wait...if Turner is the Father...then...who was that other guy? The one from the cafe during the day of heat?"

Derpy scratched the side of her face as she answered.

"Oh, him? He was just a friend of mine who was in town for a few days to visit."

The girl then looked away, seeming somewhat embarrassed.

"When I heard the rumours flying about that people thought he was the Father...well...I knew nobody knew who he was when he came to me, so...I kinda let the rumour be. Having some unknown guy be seen with me...it fit the lie."

Again, she took on a look of shame.

"One of a lot of things I'm not proud of right now."

A look of fear crossed her, causing her to look to Sunset again.

"Wait...nobody does know about him, right?"

Folding her arms, Sunset shook her head.

"No. Flash seemed pretty determined to find out about the guy though. But, I discouraged him from pressing the matter."

Derpy's face became one of relief, and she broke out into a small smile.

"That's good. I know Flash is a good guy, but...that would've been really awkward to explain if he ever found him."

A chuckle escaped Sunset at that.

"Yeah...that it would."

Another silence fell between them, during which, Sunset regarded the girl before her carefully. She seemed less worried about everything now, albeit very slightly, and she knew in her heart that she had a long and difficult road ahead of her. Even so, she too began to smile, offering her a hand. Derpy looked to her, and after a small wait, took the hand, offering her a look of appreciation. Helping her up, Sunset took her free hand and gently patted Derpy's shoulder. There was a moment of comfort between the two girls at this time, and as they finally got around to packing their things away, Derpy looked to the former unicorn. As they made their way out of the room, the girl said the only thing she felt should have been said to her.

"Thank you, Sunset...for everything."

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