Being upside down isn’t so bad. Gives you a whole new perspective of things. Like life and how desperately I don’t want to die again. I can feel the frigid wind rushing against my face and howling in my ears. My clothes would be whipping around my body had the being who brought me here thought to give me any. Below me I watched as the ground was approaching quickly. Rocks and trees covered in white snow…. Oh, fuck, that’s going to hurt. I said “I don’t want to die again,” right? Well here’s what happened, and lucky for you, I’m having a replay of my life while I’m falling to my death.

I was on my way home from school, walking along the highway about a half-mile from town. I’d just gotten out of English Composition Two and was nearing the large, hair-pin bend that lead into the small town where I live. I had my headphones on and was blasting my favorite Metal band, L.o.G. I couldn't have heard a freight train and I loved the sensation of the powerful bass lines under the drums and guitars.

I didn’t feel anything either. I saw, for a split second, everything around me fly behind me to the massive pressure on my back and head. Even the ground seemed to have been pulled out from under my feet. I must have been hit pretty hard. That turn is particularly dangerous when there’s ice on the road after a big snow. I can only assume I’ve been hit by something big. Like, really big. Probably a dump truck if I had to guess.

When the world finally stopped I was laying across the train tracks several yards from the edge of where the road and hill dropped off, it was a good six feel down. Ha. Ha. Very funny Universe. If I was the Joker form Batman I’d be laughing my ass off at the irony.

I was now, limply, facing the vehicle that hit me. Huh, it was a dump truck. Only now it's nose first in the ground just over the edge of the bend. I can see the driver getting out, he sees me, and he's flipping out. From here my vision began to fade. My heart had already stopped and all I could do was watch as the seconds go by. You get a strange sense about everything when you’re dying. Panic, at first, when you realize what's happening. Followed by reluctant acceptance and a sense of calm. You flash back through your whole life, literally, in the blink of an eye.

Wow, I regret so much. That’s not to say I did a lot of things I wasn’t proud of. I’ve never been to jail, I’ve never done anything stupid enough to nearly get me killed, thankfully I’m not dying a virgin—though in hindsight I could have tried for someone better and less fake, and I’m pretty happy with what I’d chosen to do with my life. All in all, not too bad. A little dull and introverted, but still good.

The next thing I saw was hard to describe and I barely remember what happened, but, someone or something picked me up, stood me up, spoke to me, and —I think— cut me a deal. I was told that I could give up my memory of this world if I wanted to be sent to a place I may like more. That whole conversation wasn't entirely pleasant, especially since I could look down and see my dead, broken body. Dude. I didn't think dead people could get chills or queezy. Since I was dead it didn’t seem like that bad of a deal. I have memories I treasure quite a lot, but now that I'm dead, a chance at another, better life seemed like a great opportunity. Needless to say, I took the offer.

Now, I’m falling to my death —again, having flashback-memories I shouldn’t have, and I’m thinking that whoever sent me here needs to get me their supervisor so I can yell and cuss and scream about their mistake like my life depended on it. Because at the moment, it does. Seriously. I've never been anyone's difficult customer but there's a first time for everything and I plan on being the most very son of a— Oh, hey look, a cloud!

Remember that feeling I said you get when you accept that you’re dying? Well, I’ve got it again and I’m pretty sure I’ve blacked out. The world feels like a spinning mass of black and I want to puke but nothing will come up, I hate spinning. Damn. Twice in five minutes. That’s got to be a world—er—universe record.

After what felt like hours and the world quit moving, I started to stir. I felt around me in the blackness. I was laying on what felt like straw. The air around me is cold, but not freezing like when I was falling. I had a dense blanket over my naked body that felt more like a rug than any blanket. I stretched my hands out, away from my sides and I felt something soft and furry, suddenly very aware that a warm body lay next to me under the blanket. I rubbed my hand along the fur and felt the bumps and ridges of muscle and bone underneath. It reminded me of an animal. I felt around until I found it’s head and, Is that a mane? Oh god. I’m allergic to stock animals like horses and donkeys. This isn’t going to end well. I'm going to be a coughing, miserable pile of misery.

“Ah don’t mind ya pettin’ me. If yer gonna do it, don’t stop.” I heard a voice in the darkness. It sounded like whatever, or possibly whoever, I was petting said it. It’s pitch black in here and I can definitely tell that my eyes are open. I feel my hands start to tremble and stake violently and I pull away from whatever it is that’s been sharing its body heat. Panic attacks, even small ones, set off my tremors and made them worse than normal.

“P-please tell me I’m-m dreaming. O-or that I’m dead and th-this is a cruel joke.” I stammered.

It shifted —I can only assume— to sit up, “Sorry, sugar. This is as real as it gets. Are y’all alright?”

“I think so? I can’t see. Am I blind?” I reached for my face reflexively.

“Naw. It’s just really early. Celestia lowered the moon early Ah reckon.” She drawled. I could only tell that who I was talking to was a she because of the fact that her voice was naturally higher than mine when she spoke. That, and she didn't seem to have the same sternness that most guys have.

“So, not to be rude, but who and what are you?”

“Ah'm Applejack. Ya mean ya’ve never seen a pony b’fore?” she asked incredulously.

“I have. But I can't see anything right now and ponies don’t talk.” I said, I think I heard her snort at that. My hands were still shaking and I couldn’t tell if it was from the cold or not, “Ugh, damn. I feel tired. And sick.”

“Well, Ah can’t say Ah’m surprised. Ya got no fur on ya and falling from the sky like in the middle of winter... how’d y’all get up there anyway?” she asked.

“You probably wouldn’t believe me if I told you. I’m not even supposed to remember how I got here.” I said and gave a weak chuckle.

“What’s that s'posed ta mean?” I could hear the skepticism inching into her tone.

I coughed hoarsely, “I was dead. Brought back to life in this world in exchange for my memories. I don’t think whoever it was knew what they were doing when they brought me here because I remember everything. Speaking of here. Why am I not a road pizza on the side of a rock?”

I heard her give a little chuckle. Yeah, I like that analogy too. I laughed and road pizza pretty hard the first few times I'd heard it back home, “You’re one lucky son of a mule, that’s how. A friend o' mine saw y’all fallin’ and scooped ya up. ‘Just in the nick of time’ she called it, though I’m not sure if that’s entirely true,”

“Probably is. I’ve never seen the ground so eager to meet me. I must be popular,” I said sarcastically.

“Well don’t think too hard on it. Y’all been out fer days and Ah don’t right feel like sleepin’ out in the barn longer'n I have to. Not that you’re a bother, but if yer up I could really rather sleep in my own bed.”

“Sorry.” I said softly.

“Don’t sweat it, sugercube. Ah’m just glad yer awake.”

My throat erupted with a nasty sounding cough that shook my lungs and felt like glass was embedded in my vocal cords. I don’t know how long I sat there coughing but Applejack didn’t talk or move until I finished.

“Landsakes. Ya okay?”

“N-no. I’m allergic to horses. 'Guess the moron who dropped me here didn’t check to see if I had allergies,” I said before I erupted into another couching fit. My throat burned like dry sand and needles. I could really use some water and a lozenge.

“Ah’m mighty sorry. I can’t say it’ll get better from here on in. ‘Most everyone ‘round here’s a pony or equine of sorts.” She said. I could imagine the look of pity she was giving me.

“Oh, fantastic,” I drawled, “You wouldn’t happen to have allergy pills, would you?”

“Ah don’t, but Ah’m sure there are some at the hospital.”

“Yay, hospital,” I said sarcastically, i felt and heard my voice grating against itself, “Um, not to b-be a b-bother, but I-I’m freezing, and I w-wouldn’t ask you th-this since I’m naked and all, b-but c-could you let me s-snuggle up to you ag-gain?”

“Ah don't mind, but won’t yer cough get worse?” she asked.

“Y-Yeah. But I c-can deal with a l-little cough as long as I am-m-m warm.” My teeth started clicking together and making loud popping sounds through my skull every time they connected.

She slid up next to me, cautiously if I could tell by the way she moved. I wrapped my arm around her torso and held her close, the warmth from her body was pleasant and welcome against the cold air. From what I could feel she was shorter than me, so holding her wasn’t unlike hugging a large stuffed animal. She smelled of Apples and dirt right after a rain, a lovely, nostalgic smell. It’s just too bad being this close to her is making me miserable.

“Feel better?" she asked.

“Yeah. My name's Samuel, by the way” I replied, “Nice to meet you, though I wish it had been under different circumstances.”

“Y’all mean the fall? Yeah Ah can imagine”

“No. Well that too, but I mean me being naked,”

“Huh?”

“I'm naked. And pressed against you. Doesn't that bother you?”

“Well I guess it’s different for y’all, but being naked doesn’t bother ponies. It’s natural,” she said matter of factly, "And as fer y'all bein' cozy with me, so long as ya don't try anythin' frisky Ah don't mind."

“I’ve worn clothes all my life. It's weird to be this naked... especially in front of a girl,” I said and reflexively rubbed my stomach with my other hand, feeling the bare skin—wait… is that? “What the hell?” I whispered, asking no one in particular.

“What’s wrong?” I felt her turn her head to look at me in the dark. Seriously, could she see in the dark? She's been moving around easily enough.

“I’m not sure, but I think I’m not fat any more.” I said feeling around myself.

“Huh?” She said confused.

“I’m not saying I was huge or anything, but I did have a couple of rolls I wasn’t too proud of before I came here.” I admitted, a bit more than embarrassed. Here I was, naked, telling a girl—doesn’t matter that she’s not human, she's still female—about the fact that I need a few weeks on the tread mill.

“It’s not a big deal, but I guess it’s a good thing that yer not?” I could tell she was trying to sound considerate.

“Well, it definitely takes a load off of my mind,” I said a little happier now that I thought about it, “Ugh, I wanna talk to that guy’s manager! He takes away the fat only to leave an allergy in a wold of, ‘ponies’ you said?” I felt her nod followed by a short “Yup.” I groaned, “Great. I get sent some place by the rookie. Way to go, cosmos! You sent the least qualified person you had to deal with reincarnation. Or would it be reincarnation? Do I still have brown hair and brown eyes?”

“Yup.”

“So it's only king of reincarnation... resurrection? Ugh. I’m too tired for this. I figured the afterlife would be a boring series of gold buildings and angels and everything made of light and all that jazz,”

She giggled a bit, “Sorry to disappoint, pardner. Looks like your after like is gonna be a walkin’, caughin’ nightmare,”

“Oh, har, har. You really know how make a guy feel welcome, Appljack.” I said semi-sarcastically, burying my head in my hand, “If you’re welcoming me to hell, can you at least be dancing on the ceiling and laughing like a made clown with a big nose?”

“Is that something that was supposed to happen?” she said confused. I didn't think she'd get my refference, I don't think anyone here will get half the things I say.

“No. No. Just a little inside joke.” I sighed.

Applejack and I made small talk like that until the sun came up and shown through a few cracks in the barn’s wall. She is great mare to talk to. She told me about the farm we were on and what she did. She told me about the different races of Ponies and what they did. I had to explain to her why I didn’t believe a magical, near-goddess could move the sun, moon, and stars. She looked at me, I could tell by the tone in her voice, like I was nuts for the longest time during that conversation.

When we finally got up, Applejack lead me to her house. She found my hopping and running, eagerly, to the door amusing to say the least. I can’t help it if there’s snow on the ground and I have no shoes! That shit’s cold! Once inside, I still held the heavy blanket around my shoulders. I noticed that, while I might have been taller than Applejack, the doors and ceilings were just tall enough for me to stand upright going through. I had to duck my head under the doorways, but I’ve been in a few places like that before. I’m not tall in the slightest, but nor am I short. I’m pretty average in terms of size, and looks.

The inside of the house is pretty much what I imagined a fame house to be. Very old in design, lots of wood planks over the floors, walls and ceiling, regardless of paint or wallpaper it's still easy to see. The few things that hung off the walls were very personal of just functional. I'd come in through the back door and was standing in a hallway of sorts. An opening to the kitchen on my right, the living area directly ahead, and a staircase to my left with, what I assume to be a bedroom or bathroom door on the left wall at the bottom.

“Mornin’, sis!” I heard a child say, and looked down to see a crème-colored filly with a red mane and tail come around the corner. She stopped when she saw me, like a deer in the headlights. I couldn’t blame her I guess. It’s not every day some strange thing comes into your home through the back door. She had this big pink bow tied to her mane between hear hears. Damn, she's adorable!

“Mornin’, Apple Bloom. This here’s Samuel. Mind stokin’ the fire so he c'n get warm?” Applejack said, walking into the kitchen, “Apple Bloom?” Applejack poked her head back to see that here sister was still staring.

Apple Bloom was too enthralled by my appearance to really move. She kept staring at me like I would jump on her… or like she wanted to rush me. I couldn’t tell, “Um… hi?” Yes. I am the master of introductions.

“What in the ever lovin’ Everfree are you?” she finally spoke. I honestly didn't expect that and I had to strangle a laugh before it jumped out of my throat.

“Apple Bloom! Wood! Stove! Now!” Applejack yelled from the kitchen. Her sister embarrassed by her own gawking, jumped and ran into the livingroom where I heard her open a metal door, followed by the sounds of crumpling paper, stacking sticks, and a match lighting.

I heard several heavy steps descend the stairs and turn the corner. I was now looking down slightly at a hefty looking fire-red pony with a dirty-blond mane and tail. Huh, he seemed to have a tattoo on his hips like Applejack. “Good morning.” I said and smiled.

“Eeyup.” Not a fan of words I see.

“Are you Applejack’s husband?” I asked.

He chuckled, “Nnope.”

At least he can make more than one sound, “Brother?”

“Eeyup.”

“Nice to meet you. I’d shake your hand, or, something, but I’m trying to keep this blanket on. No disrespect intended”

He nodded in understanding then turned to open a door to my left in the wall under the stairs. I assume it’s a linen closet because he pulled out another blanket for me. I guess I looked cold. Gee, I wonder why... It's not like I'm walking around buck-naked in the middle of winter, I could just be enjoying myself swinging in the breeze.

“Thanks.” I said with a grateful smile.

“Eeyup.” And he turned to the kitchen. Strange guy, but I guess he doesn't have much use for words.

“Come on in and have a seat,” Applejack said, “Yer welcome to have breakfast with us.”

And with that invitation, I rounded the corner and into the little kitchen. I made my way to the table and sat on the floor next to the stove. Applejack had started a mouth-watering breakfast of some kind, and I was having a coughing fit every few minutes. The red stallion watched me curiously with a hint of worry in his eyes. I told him what I’d told Applejack, about being allergic to ponies. By this time, Apple Bloom had come in to sit with us at the table. She looked crestfallen and covered her mouth as though breathing on me would send me into another fit. I chuckled at the sight and assured her that breathing on me wouldn’t hurt me.

“How did ya get all the way up in the sky?” Apple Bloom asked.

“That’s an interesting topic to have over breakfast,” I said with a wry smile. I told her what I’d told her sister but in a shorter and less descriptive manner, I'm not about to talk blood and gore with a child. It didn’t take as long as I’d thought, and by that time Applejack had finished making breakfast. Apple flavored flapjacks with orange juice and toast. Ooh, I could die happy. No! I take that back! I don't want to die again anytime soon!

“Ah’ll see about getting ya some duds. Not sure if anypony in town knows how to make yer kinda clothes but I think I know somepony who’d love the challenge. That is, if she doesn’t faint at the sight o' ya,” Applejack chuckled.

“Thanks. I appreciate it,” I smiled at her with a mouth full of food, "I hope it's not too much of bother,"

Applejack chuckled to herself again, “Talk and eat in front of her like that n’ Ah'll bet twenty bits she does faint.”

Never thought I'd be in this position. I haven't ridden in the basket of a wagon since I was eight, but, here I am, wrapped in two blankets, sitting in Applejack's apple cart, being pulled into town by said pony, and on my way to find a set of warm clothing. Apple Bloom had come along as well and was talking my ears off the whole way. She was adorable in the worst way. She'd ask five questions before letting me answer one. Applejack had to tell her to calm herself, repeatedly. The little filly told me all about her school life and her search for her cutiemark, which I learned isn't a tattoo but a personal symbol that magically appeared on a ponies' flank when they discovered their "special talent".

Wile in exchange, I told Apple Bloom about myself and Earth, admittedly only the things I knew would be appropriate. About ten whole minutes went by before we arrived in front of a carousel shaped building that Applejack's friend Rarity used as her place of business. She was a dress maker and Applejack had assured me that even if she could make all the kinds of clothes I needed, her friend would be able to make the basics. I gathered from the way she spoke about her friend that the two didn't always get along, mentioning more than once how much of a stickler for detail Rarity can be.

The bell to the shop ran as we entered followed by a bright and cheery voice I could only assume was Rarity, "Welcome! Please take a seat and I'll be right with you. Feel Free to look around," Damn, if silk could talk I'm sure it's envy her.

We waited near the doorway about two minutes before a white unicorn with purple hair --mane, not hair mane, and tail-- stepped out and spoke again, "Welcome to Carousel Boutique where everything is neat, shiq, and magnifique. Now how may I help yo-oo-wah ha ha!" she yelped and dove back behind the curtains. I as chocking of my laughter as was Applejack beside me.

"Take whatever you want but please don't hurt me!" Rarity called out from the trembling mass of curtains she hid behind.

"Rarity," Applejack chided playfully, "That's not way to treat a customer. This here's Samuel. He needs ya ta make him some duds,"

Rarity carefully poked her head out and looked me over. Not the best of sights I'd imagine, especially this early before noon. I smiled at her and slipped a hand out to wave at her. She blushed and stepped forward.

"I'm terribly sorry about that. You scared the daylights out of me," she said cautiously, "No offense, I assure you. You just startled me. I mean--you-- oh my, I'm going to stop talking now."

Applejack was still snickering at the white mare. I felt bad for her, so I decided right then and there to turn on a part of me I rarely ever use. Refined. "No, no, please. I quite understand. I'm sure a beautiful mare such as yourself doesn't get much in the way of humans, of which I am. Please, allow me to apologize for startling you. It's the least I can do. I'd feel just awful if I couldn't speak to such an enchanting creature such as yourself, without scaring you."

Oh yeah, that worked. Rarity was blushing, Applejack's jaw was slacked and hanging open, and Apple Bloom was looking at me like I had a personality disorder.

"O-oh, ahem mm. It's quite alright, dear sir," she said walking up to me, "Apology accepted. Now, I hear you're in the market for some clothing? May I ask as to the occasion? Cold weather? Ballroom dancing? Maybe a fine suit for a night out with a special somepony?" she said fluttering her eyelashes at me.

Ooh, I'm going to enjoy this! "I'm afraid it's only for the cold. I can't dance and I could only dream of having a special someone to take out tonight, like yourself, but no such luck." I gave her a pitifully sad smile. I might just be messing with her, but she was drinking me up.

She blushed again and giggled coyly, "Oh now do stop, darling. Making a lady blush like that,"

"'Lady'? My dear you're much too gorgeous to be a mere lady. A duchess, perhaps?" I said flirtatiously.

Rarity's blush now reached her ears and she had to turn around to avoid my gaze. She cleared her throat before speaking, "My, my, my. Where ever did you find this 'Human' did you say?" I nodded, "I cannot believe such a refined person would be with you Applejack,"

"Ah didn't," she said finally snapping out of her daze, she shot me a questioning look, "Rainbow Dash caught 'im outta th' sky a few days ago. I don't 'member ya talking like this, Sam. When did you get all fancy?"

"Can't a guy flirt with a pretty girl?" I broke from my little game and looked at Applejack with an unsure smile, "Or, is that a social faux pa in Equestria?"

"Oh don't mind her, darling. I quite enjoyed it," she said, apparently I'm not the only one playing the game. She cleared her throat again before speaking, "And I must say, if you ever wish to continue, you now know where I am. But, onto business. Would you be so kind as to step over to the mirrors? I'll need to take your measurements before I can start on your clothing."

I stepped over to the mirrors and dropped the blankets to my feet, slowly, uncomfortably.

"Is everything alright, Samuel?" she asked. They were all eyeing me. And I'm pretty sure my face is red, one glance in the mirror proved that correct.

"I'm sorry. It's just that my species normally always wears clothing and considers nudity to be shameful," I smiled weakly.

"Oh, dear. I'm sorry! I had no idea. I didn't mean to embarrass you," she said, she placed a hoof on my hip to comfort me. I immagine it would have been on my shoulder if I was a pony.

"It's alright. I promise. Though it doesn't help that I'm being stared at." I looked back at Applejack and Apple Bloom.

Rarity turned and scowled at them, "Really! Must you be so inconsiderate, Applejack?"

Apple Bloom immediately turned her head away, more for my sake than hers. I think my nakedness didn't bother her so much as it fascinated her. Applejack just rolled her eyes and turned around to see if she could study the wall.

Now a little more comfortable than before, I turned to my new seamstress and smiled a thank you. She nodded and began to take all the measurements she needed. Which took the better half of twenty minutes.

"All done. Now. What would you like me to make first?" Rarity asked as I pulled the blankets back up over myself. I almost answered before a bout of coughing made me double over. She rushed to me to pat my back but Applejack was on her in an instant to keep her away from me.

"Ah'm sorry ta say, but Samuel here is allergic ta ponies," Applejack said with a sad smile, "He'll be alright in a minute. Just give him a bit," she looked back to me as I was trying to suck in as much air as I could through the sandpaper that was my throat, "Ah'm surprised he hasn't had a fit 'till now."

"Oh, poor dear," Rarity said softly. I'm glad these ponies were kind enough to show pity. I can't imagine how bad they feel for me.

"I'm --wheeze-- I'm alright," I said then cleared my throat, "It's nothing to worry about. So, Rarity, here's what I need." and I began to describe the most functional attire I could.

For her part, Rarity seemed to understand everything I had asked of her. I explained that I didn't have any way to pay for her services, which she tried very hard to just give me, and  promised her that I would be willing to work off whatever dept I owed her. She reluctantly agreed. I wouldn't want to run her business into the ground after all. She was a pleasant person and a delight to talk to, if a bit on the dramatic side.

After Rarity's, Applejack took my to the hospital to find out if they could provide me with an anti-allergy prescription. Needless to say I was the talk of the whole front end and doctors and nurses came out to see the stranger. The doctors and nursing staff were baffled by my physiology, but said that they could try and give me a standard allergy pill and see what happens. It went pretty well, honestly. The scratching feeling in my throat disappeared inside of thirty minutes and my watery swollen eyes started to go back to normal. It wasn't perfect, I still felt like crap, but the symptoms were gone enough that I could function a whole lot better.

They wanted to keep me fro observation but I had adamantly refused. I don't care how nice the hospital is, I'll never feel comfortable in one. I always feel like I should be doing something when I'm there or that I'm a bother. So, yeah, we left. I had a prescription of allergy meds, they had a pint of my blood to study for future, and better, meds. All in all, not my worst trip to a hospital.

Now on our way back to Sweet Apple Acres, Applejack and I talked a bit more. Apple Bloom, however, decided to take a nap behind me.

"Hey Applejack?" I started.

"Yeah?" she said, looking over her shoulder at me in the cart.

"Thanks for doing all this for me. I mean it. You really didn't have to," I said.

"Think nothin' of it, Samuel. It wouldn't be righ ta just leave y'all to freeze. Especially since y'all don't know how anything works 'round here." she smiled back.

I laughed softly at her comment then teased her a bit, "Gee, thanks for making me feel like an idiot."

"Not a problem, sugercube!" she said happily.

Now I couldn't figure out who was messing with whom. Until she turned and stuck her tongue out at ma then turned back to the road. I think at that point we both started laughing at the same time. You know, I think I'm going to like it here. It seems like everything just works. It's not perfect, nothing ever is, but I worked. These people, ponies, just lived as life intended and didn't try to force their way in the world. I'm sure some did, but I've yet to see any so far. Not that I have a choice, but I could stay here, easily.