I'm now going back to the apartment. After my talk with Celestia, everything became more or less clear to me.

To sum it all up, ponies develop different from humans, not to mention much faster. And I will not be judged for having a relationship with a filly as long as no one's hurt in any way.

It's still crazy as fuck, though. And I'm not too comfortable with having such a relationship. That's why I will wait a bit longer. Just to be sure I won't fuck up.

Still, I'd like to talk to Luna about it, too. Maybe tomorrow? Or tonight, if she's able to find me while I sleep. That'll be a lot easier than going back to the castle. It's very embarrassing... I mean, never before in my life did I talk with adults about sex and relationship. I think I only talked with Luna about that before today. I' very thankful that no one bashed me about that.

Alright, I still need to talk to Luna. While Celestia's explanations did some good, her sister is closer to me and knows me better. I think she can understand me better than Celestia. After all, we've been friends for half a year, and that speaks something.

Yeah, I don't think Celestia understands my problem much. I don't say that her help isn't useful, but... Uh, it's hard to explain. And I think I keep repeating myself.

My mind is still in a bit of a disarray.

Alright, here's the hostel. I suppose I should get some rest to clear my head. It's not that late, it's not even evening yet, but I feel very tired.

I quietly went to the second floor. There, I walked to the apartment, and opened the door. Taking a sniff to ensure that I won't get in any awkward moment, I entered completely. I turned left and entered my room I share with Moonshine. As I opened the door, I saw her practicing the synthesizer. Huh, I didn't hear anything at the doorstep. This room has pretty good sound isolation, I like it.

"Hi." she greeted me.

"Hi." I replied, tiredly limping to my bed. Taking off my clothes, I slumped onto the bed and sighed tiredly. I'm completely drained, I guess...

I see that the book Luna gave me lies on Moonshine's chest of drawers. Well, I guess she found it... entertaining. Eeugh... That's not disgusting, just very unusual. Though, it still makes me feel a bit sick.

I'm glad humanity hasn't encountered Equestria yet. There'd be a great moral conflict between us and ponies if that happens. From a human's point of view, this country is fucked up. From my point of view, it's just different. I mean, why would I expect aliens to be just like us? Basically, I'm just a human in an alien body. Not to mention that it is I who is an alien here. Good thing I'm not too much of a, um, conflicting person. I don't want to start any crusade of morality, too. I mean, no one has hurt me in any way.

That is a mess of sentences and thoughts. Yeah, I do need some rest...

There isn't a lock in the door, there is a... how's it called? A latch! Yeah, there's that thing that can only be opened from the inside. So, I latched the door, and then released my wings from the magic. They flopped by my sides. Oooh, that feels great...

I feel I'm falling into slumber. I better remember that I need Luna to talk to.

***

Here it is. I'm in a dream, and I can feel it. I'm lying on my bed, and... Moonshine is walking to me with half-shy half-hungry look on her face.

No, not this dream! C'mon, no!

"Luna, for the love of Satan, help me!" I shouted.

The dream seemed to become... fuzzy... blurry... Very weird, to sum it up. Soon, I found myself among the stars. Pretty much literally.

Whew, I think she heard me.

"I've heard your call, Flame." I heard her soft voice talking to me. I turned around and saw Luna. Why is she always behind me? "It seems you have a big problem. You are desperate."

"Yeah, there is a HUGE problem." I replied. "Just... look into my recent memories."

She's the only person I can trust with that. Giving her access to something so personal is... unnerving. Though, she always helped me, never made fun of my embarrassing moments, and... She can see others' dreams, right? I guess there's no thing you can keep private... Though, Luna never forcibly entered my mind or anything like that. That would be very terrible. I don't know how rape feels like, but being forcibly read like a book must feel like that. Ugh, rape, one of the most disgusting things I've ever heard about...

"My sister found out who you are. Is this a problem you want to discuss with me?" Luna asked.

"Um, no, not that. I'm completely fine with your sister." I replied. "Look, um, deeper..."

I anxiously waited as Luna read my memories. That is one strange way of communicating. Though, it helps her understand me better.

"Ah, I see..." she nodded. "It is connected with the one that loves you, and this time you found yourself in a bigger problem. It seems that a big difference between ponies and humans is making you... crazy.

"I see that you struggle to accept our way of thinking. As I look into you, I see doubt and hesitation, fear, shame... All of it comes from your upbringing and your nature.

"Let me explain this to you. My sister, unfortunately, failed to deliver the message right." Luna chuckled slightly, and then her tone turned more serious. "To learn the truth, both of us must look deeper. In your society, large age difference is something that can be illegal in a relationship, it might get you in prison. From your memories, I understand that humans tend to see sex as a simple mean of physical satisfaction, as human teenagers see it. A deeper realization comes to them much later. They are willing to use anything to satisfy their urges, and it is rarely thought through.

"Ponies, on the other hoof, get the deeper meaning much earlier in their lives. We understand both physical and mental effects relationships and, mainly, sex, have on us. While it is indeed a way of satisfying our natural urges, making a relationship through these urges is irresponsible and foolish, and only pain awaits those who walk that path.

"You understand all aspects of this, however. And that is why you refuse to use Moonshine as your personal... satisfier. That is why you don't give in to your subconscious desires of dominating a female in the act of sex. That is why you wait for her to take the first step at the reasonable age.

"However, our 'reasonable age' is earlier than, in your case, eighteen. While she might still not possess the full knowledge of how sex works in a relationship, it seems she understands that it may give emotional gratification to both of you.

"Yes, she is a bit forceful on you with the kisses. Unfortunately, that is a side effect of her upbringing." Luna sighed sadly. "She wanted to express love to her mother, and yet her mother pushes her own daughter away, in a very cruel way at that. Moonshine hasn't felt love until her grandfather took her, and now, when he's gone, she is afraid that no one will love her anymore. She noticed you, a bright beam of hope in her life, and she almost immediately fell in love with you. Your kindness and compassion reminds her of her grandfather, the one that gave her so much love.

"Forgive her, for she is scared and scarred. Scarred by the absence of love in her early childhood, scared of not receiving it ever again. She is the type of pony to love desperately, to give herself completely to someone she loves. I don't say you should do everything she wants right there and then, but I hope you understand why she does what she does. She just wants to be loved... Just like you."

I gulped. I don't really want to be reminded of this, please!

"I'm sorry, Flame, but you must hear this." Luna sighed. "Or else you won't be able to escape out of the trap you have found yourself in. You are very afraid of things going wrong, just like Moonshine. You hold yourself back, unlike her. You have a lot of love inside yourself, and yet you can't love because of who you are, because of what you think you are, and because of what you think is true."

That is... maybe true.

"Your parents didn't show you as much love as you wished and still wish they did." Luna didn't stop. As much as I hate hearing about my parents, I surrender... I need to hear all of this. "Now, with so much love you're receiving, you are confused. Back when you were a human, you were denied love when you strived so hard for it, and now you don't know what to do with the love you want to give. You are afraid you'll fail, you are afraid that the relationship will not last, and that is why you don't consider any relationship possible for you, you don't see any of them working."

That is true... I never engaged in any romantic relationship ever since my first failure.

"You, unlike many other humans, are very sensitive to those topics, however, you try so hard to make yourself believe they don't matter." Luna kept talking. "As you fought religion you were forced to accept, you accidentally pushed away your feelings, making yourself think they are just as false as your mother's beliefs. Your father also denied you your feelings, making you ashamed of them, making you ashamed of your own sensitivity."

I can say no word against that, as much as I want to do it. She... she sees me. I... I...

"I understand that the age difference greatly confuses you, too. And yet, you must embrace yourself, your new self. You are now a pony, just like we all are. We grow faster than humans, we can make serious decisions earlier than humans.

"You are a grown-up, an adult. You can direct the flow of your own life. You can make important decisions, and you can help others make them. But you are afraid that you will push Moonshine, force her to be something she doesn't want to be, just like you were pushed by your parents."

None of that I can deny.

"You have that flutter of love whenever you see just how much Moonshine loves you. But you crush your feelings under what you've been taught, under your 'old' nature. You have to accept someone who is alien to you in nature. I understand that it's not something you'd wish to face, but it is inevitable. You deny your own happiness.

"I just wish you live happy in Equestria." Luna sighed. "I know that you abandoned your home, I know that you want to throw away your life and live this one, among us. And that is the reason you appeared here, Flame."

My eyes widened. Do... do I discover why I'm here? Does she know the truth?

"It was unclear to me as of how you could possibly travel from one world to another, but I think I know the answer now." Luna continued. "You have done something in your life, something so drastic that you found a way to move to another world, somewhere you could start over, somewhere no one knows who you are, somewhere your past and all things that make it doesn't matter.

"You always felt like you didn't belong to your own world. You were so stressed every single day of your existence as you found less and less people understanding you, forcing you to think that you make up your own problems out of nothing. First, your parents pushed on you, forcing their beliefs on you. Then, in the school, you were bullied because you couldn't find the strength to fight, and other beliefs were forced upon you. You are peaceful, just like us. Then, when you graduated, you didn't know what to do. You knew you liked music, you could even make it. You wished it was something you could do, and yet you were not able to make your dreams come true. You never even thought about that, but you were in a constant depression, almost coming to a point when you wanted to end your existential nightmare you found yourself in.

"Tell me, have you ever wished upon a star?" Luna asked me.

"I... I have..." I admitted. "A lot of times... It never happened, it never came true, no wish was granted. I did it a lot... After I was rejected, after I graduated, I used to wish upon the stars that I could find a direction, that I could find love, that..." it poured outside. I... I always wanted to talk about that. I've never found someone to talk to before... "Luna, I... I..." I sat down, tears rolling down my face. "What if it was not the dream that came true, but..." I... I... I can't... I couldn't! Though... "I think I... I..." I can't say it. I couldn't do that! I didn't! I would never do that!

"You don't have to say that." Luna put a wing over me. I silently cried as I was comforted by the princess of the night.

It never occurred to me what is the true reason behind my appearance here. But it is creeping upon me that... that... Ugh, I can't even think about this! It's impossible!

Could it be that I appeared here because... because... because I died?

...

I...

I am so pathetic. An excuse of a being... weakling...

"Don't torture yourself, Flame." I heard Luna speaking to me. "You are now here. You are among us. We accept you, Flame." her soothing voice calmed me. "Please, you need to let go. Don't deny yourself a happy life."

"But... how do I do this? I... I can't." I shook my head. "I... I can't accept my new life, Luna. I'm sorry... I'm trying, trying hard! But in the end... I continue pushing everything away..." I admitted.

"But you want to be with us, I feel it." Luna said to me. "You are afraid that those you knew will appear to judge you, to make you suffer. But you have friends here. You have someone that loves you. We will protect you from harm. You only need to break your own shackles.

"You want to love. Go for it, Flame. You are living a new life. Embrace it, and let go of your past. It still matters, but it doesn't have a hold on you. From good and bad moments of your life, you learned. Now, you need to let go if you want to be truly free.

"You don't need to force yourself to exist and survive. You need to let yourself live."

And with those words in my head, I woke up.

I moved slightly, turning my head right. I saw Moonshine. She was sitting at the table, reading.

You cannot do this! No sane man would do this!

You cannot tell me what to do, father. You are not here. You cannot influence me. I can feel what I want to feel, I can cry when I want to cry. My emotions are no longer under your control.

Stop, you can't do this to us! We didn't raise you this way!

You raised me to believe in lies, to restrict myself. Mother, you can't force your morals nor your beliefs on me any longer. I have changed. It's nothing you can do.

I wish both of you did better at raising me...

What a whiny little bitch!

You are just an obnoxious classmate that can do nothing but drink cheap alcohol to impress stupid chicks with vaginas for brains. You will never fully live. Your existence is filled with alcoholic fumes and slutty girls. Eventually, you'll end up marrying one of them and living in a trailer park.

You are a pervert! I will have you expelled from my school!

I am not obsessed with going to church to 'purge my sins', principal. I accept being imperfect, and you just need to get laid. Unlike you, I did it many times.

You can't do this, Flame. This is just not right!

Michael, you are my past. You are a part of me, but I am now a pony. I want to live as they do. I need to let go of what I once followed and to embrace what I now have and all the possibilities that lie before me.

Flame, I believe in you.

Thanks for making me see, Luna.

....

*sigh*

I slowly stood up from my bed. If I want to be free, I must do one simple thing. It will break my shackles.

I walked to Moonshine. This is the time.

I now understand that I was turned into a foal for a purpose. Not only did it make me relive my childhood in a new way, it gave me challenges to face. I almost failed... If I stop now, I will fail.

This is it. I now understand who I am. I am an alicorn who has yet to find his destiny. I am nine years old. I have much more knowledge than any pony of my age does, I have years of experience, and I am mentally grown up. I can make important, serious decisions that will affect my future life.

And I am making one right now.

"Moonshine..." I addressed the filly. She turned to me with a question in her eyes.

"Hey, what is it?" she asked.

I understand now. I am young again. I am giving a chance to do something I would never allow myself to do before. I am allowed to live a better childhood, a childhood I wish I lived.

"Moonshine, I love you."

And as any child, I need love to take... and give.

As Moonshine sat there, stunned, shocked, I softly kissed her on the muzzle.

My shackles are broken, and love will free me.

Author's Notes:

And this is, finally, the day when Flame accepts who he has become. Now, he accepts it completely, and he doesn't hold himself back.

At first, this chapter started a bit weird. Then, it turned into something depressing. And in the end, it turned out into something uplifting.

I'd love to have Luna as my friend. Truth be told, I have a bit of depression, and someone like her would greatly help me.

As for the chapter, I hope that no one will see Flame as a pedophile. He cares deeply about Moonshine, and it is his changed body that ultimately makes him feel these feelings towards her.

At first, I thought I shouldn't do this at all, and just have them grow up and become teenagers, and only then will the romance come into play. However, I decided that Flame needs to go through this to completely accept what he has become and what his new home is. I suppose he went native in a way that some of us would never understand. Nevertheless, he has changed for the better.