Moonshine, Night Breeze, and I have just walked out of the school after our introductory day. Well, it was pretty fun... Not bad, certainly. Though, Celestia was almost constantly watching me, and it really unnerves me. Or am I becoming paranoid? I think she's just trolling me... Ugh! I hate this kind of stuff when I can't understand anything about the situation!

Alright, whatever. I'm sure she'll stop doing that eventually. Unless she's a creep, and I seriously doubt she is. And if she is...

"Hey, Flame," Night addressed me all of sudden. "Why was the princess looking at you like that?"

"What?" I asked, pretending to be oblivious. "Um, I didn't notice that."

"Well, she kinda stared at you." the filly replied. "You really didn't notice that?"

"I don't think she stared." I shook my head. "Didn't she look at all of us? I mean, she needs to watch over us, right?"

"Yeah, maybe you're right and I'm just being a bit stupid." she nodded hesistantly. "So, um... You like music, right? What genre?"

"A bit of everything, I suppose." I replied. And that's true. While metal is my absolute favorite, I like many songs from different genres. Dubstep, classical, orchestral, electronic, you name it and I'll maybe find something good. Hell, name 'vegetarian pornogrind rapcore' and maybe I'll find something to my liking there! I don't think such a genre exists, though.

"Yeah? Well, I suppose I'm a bit like you. Though, I don't like anything too loud. My ears are kinda sensitive to those." Night flicked her ears. "You know, you seem like an interesting colt." she punched me in the shoulder slightly. "Yeah, I think we can be friends, you and I." she said. "You seem to be a cool guy, too. How old are you?"

"Um, nine." I replied.

"Wow, and I thought you're, like, eleven or even twelve already!" she said. "You're about my height, actually. Really, I thought you're my age!" a look of sadness crossed her muzzle for a moment. What, why? "Anyway, let's go! I wanna take off this stupid thing and relax a bit." she looked at her wheelchair. Alright, I think I'm just seeing things. I don't think she looked sad. Whatever.

I noticed that Moonshine has been quiet throughout my conversation with Night Breeze. I hope she's not jealous or anything. After all, I don't want these two to fight. That'd be pretty sad, Night Breeze seems to be nice and just a normal filly of her age.

Why, oh why did we get... apartment-mates? I think they really complicate eveything...

Or I might be just overreacting to things. Fuck, I'm making assumptions! They never lead to anything good.

I'm so damn stupid...

***

We've returned to the apartment and went into our rooms. Moonshine and I went to ours while Night Breeze went to hers.

Well, I suppose I can lie down and re—

Suddenly, I am kissed by Moonshine. What the heck? That's too random even for her. Or... maybe she is jealous.

"Moon," i addressed her as she parted from me. "Let me ask you straightforward: are you jealous?"

Damn, I think I hit her right in the spot. She froze in place, her cheeks turning crimson. This assumption of mine turned out to be true, after all...

"Please, answer honestly." I told her.

"Um... I suppose... just a little." she nervously chuckled.

"Look," I sat down in front of her. "First of all, she knows me only for a week. I don't think she has a crush on me or anything. She just wants to be friendly. And I certainly won't just throw you away, uh, in her favor. I care about you, but I can't be, um, on good terms only with you. Friends matter, too. I think she can be our friend, that's it." I looked into Moonshine's eyes. "No matter what, I will never abandon you. I don't love you yet, but that doesn't mean I don't care about you, Moonshine." and I hugged her. That'll certainly make her feel better.

Surprisingly for me, everything goes rather well with this filly, unlike with the girls I met on Earth. I'm more confident now, I suppose. At least I don't suffer stutter when trying to talk to a girl. Yeah, I think I became better at, um, conversing.

Wait, does that mean I'm socializing? I can't really tell...

Anyway, I think Moonshine does have a right to be a bit jealous. Night Breeze is beautiful, I give her that. While she's a bit unusual, that doesn't mean she's ugly or something like that. But I am sure I don't have feelings for her. After all, she's thirteen or something. This age allows sex, I know, but I'm still not that comfortable with this. It'll take me some time to accept this fully.

Oh, I'm rambling again. Well... It's interesting to think about things. What can I do with it?

***

We spent the rest of the day rather quietly. Moonshine was reading some book while I just lied on the bed, resting my body and mind, listening to relaxing music. Piano, a bit of string-bow instruments, classical pipe organ compositions... Yeah, they do relax me a lot. While I love metal a lot, especially its powerful forms, I like to listen to something relaxing from time to time.

It caught my eye that Moonshine was writing something in her diary. As much as I'd like to know what she's writing, I respect her privacy. She doesn't need my muzzle in her personal thoughts.

I'm glad I don't have my own diary. I know how curious Moon can be sometimes, and it'd be unfortunate if she found the storage of my thoughts. Gladly, there's only one I have — my own head. It stores a lot of thoughts: music, relationships, sex, religion, a bit of this and that, some random stuff... I'd like to keep most of it private. Moonshine is old enough to know about sex and all, but... I'm very uncomfortable about that. I know I did show her my dong... Ugh, that was so awkward! Even now it brings heat to my cheeks. I've done a lot of stuff I came to regret, but showing my weiner to a child... That tops everything I've ever done. It's more or less okay by this society's norms, and it makes me feel a tiny bit better.

Moonshine has finished writing in her diary, and placed it under her bed. Then, she levitated a book to herself.

A book that Luna gave to me.

...

I hope she doesn't find out where it came from. I should've hidden it! Now, all I can do is watch her reaction to the stuff in the book. Oh my, here it comes...

She flipped the introductory page and came to the first chapter. I saw her cheeks gradually increasing in red. Her eyes moved to the next page where dick and vagina are depicted. Oh boy... She glanced at me, and then returned to the book.

My cheeks are just as red. I should've, I should've hidden that damn, that fucking perverted book! It will give ideas to Moonshine, and I don't want that. What if she asks me to have sex with her? Hell no! No! Just no! I'm not some filthy pedophile! Moon, don't do it! Do not ask me to do that!

Her tail flicked slightly.

...

I turned away from her and closed my eyes, pretending to be sleeping. This way, I'll delay this, and maybe Moon won't do that. She has all the time to think about that. I hope she will ultimately decide that it's much too early for us to have sex.

It's so damn awkward...

...

...

I just lied on my bed, trying my best to fall asleep for real. I don't want to think what thoughts might be rushing inside Moonshine's head right now. These thoughts might rival mine in perversion.

I feel so much shame, awkwardness, and... Ugh...

Wait, what is that? I smell something... Something faint, barely noticeable, and it's rather sweet. I turned on my bed to face Moonshine, and...

...

She is standing, her tail is a bit raised. Isn't that a sign that she's horny? I did read something about that in the book...

Oh. My. Fucking. Hell.

Did I just smell... her? And that's not the worst thing.

I like her smell. And even this isn't the worst thing.

The worst thing is, I am popping a boner completely uncontrollably.

Body, why do you betray me?! I don't like children, not in this way!

What the fuck is wrong with this day? Why did all of this have to happen? Argh, fuck!

I will die of embarrassment very soon. And I must hide my dong from Moon's eyes, unless I want to give her unnecessary ideas. And I don't!

Rolling onto my belly, I lied on the bed, trying my best to subdue my body's lascivious desires. C'mon, I'm only nine! I shouldn't have this problem yet!

Why, oh why wasn't I turned into a pony adult? This is all some cruel joke played on me! Having to go to school again, having to deal with children literally loving me, dealing with different culture... I'm... Uhhhhh...

I think I just panicked and overreacted to things. I guess... It freaks me out. This situation freaks me out. And... I think I've just received a mental trauma.

...

At least those thoughts killed my boner. That's... a good side, I suppose. Also, Moonshine disappeared into the bathroom. I don't even want to know what she'll be doing there. And her sweet aroma is almost gone, too.

My life has become the most cruel joke ever.

***

I drifted in and out of sleep. This incident with Moonshine made my dreams very, very uneasy to handle. The same reoccurring dream happened to me for the past few hours as I tried to get at least some sleep.

I lie on my bed, bedsheets and pillows thrown aside, my mane and tail in a mess, and my body sweaty. It wasn't a nightmare that kept waking me up, no. It was the most pleasant dream I could ever have, but... It scares me.

In the dream, I am lying on my bed. Moonshine gets closer and closer to me, making sexy moves. She crawls on top of my bed and starts kissing me. From my face, she goes down and down and... I did nothing to stop her. I throughly enjoyed what she did to me. And then, a realization hits me — I am an adult, and she is a child. I scream, and wake up. I don't scream in the reality, and that's what I'm thankful for.

My mind, it is in a complete disarray. A mess of thoughts and feelings... I know I'm not into young females, but the dream was so good, so... nice. Until that realization struck me, always in the end of the dream when everything is already over and I am just cuddling with her.

The only more or less reasonable explanation I have is that my mind is a mix between pony foal and human adult. Sometimes, I feel I am very young. Other times, I feel my true age, I feel that I am a grown up with responsibilities, hopes and dreams, and... so much more. This strange... fusion of sorts of minds drives me insane. I doubt any human ever experienced anything remotely close to this.

And I... I just want to give up. I can't love a filly, I can't make love to her, and I mustn't do that! I am an adult, a grown up, a twenty-three years old man. I simply can't become a foal. I would never be able to. Not without my mind erased. My thoughts, my opinions, my memories, all must be erased to give me freedom that I wish I had.

I am no kid-lover, I am no pedophile, but this situation pushes very hard on my morals, making it almost impossible to follow them without looking like an idiot. I just wish I didn't have to experience all of this. It would've been better if I stayed on the Earth. It would've been better if I were born a colt, too. Though, I have doubts about the former.

As scary as it is, I don't think there's any future for me back on Earth. I was just being a regular dude, minding his own business, trying to survive in the world. And... I admit that... I've built up a lot of stress during the years. How to remove it? I don't know.

I have a chance to live a new life here. I've said to myself that I completely accept my new body, my new life, but my past just can't let go of me. What should I do in order to make everything right?

And to think of it, it's rather funny that this was triggered by Moonshine reading the book about sex and relationships in general. I think that... everything built up inside me and came to a boiling point right then. I'm very confused, truth be told.

I tried to tell myself that I'm adapting. I guess I was just lying to myself, pretending that I was telling the truth.

All in all, I really need to tell my feelings to somebody. I know it will be very awkward, stressful even, but I recognize I need help.

The only one I can really trust, the only one that has a lot of experience... I need Luna. And I will go to her right now.

I just want to set my mind right. I... I don't want to lash out on someone because of my issues.

I... I really need help. As much as I want to keep everything private, I must see someone to talk to about my problems. Keeping them inside will only result in suffering.

Author's Notes:

In a lot of stories, humans seem to adapt to the new world rather quickly. Too quickly, in fact. Granted, humans are adaptable, but that doesn't mean they don't get stress from change.

It has been half a year since Flame first appeared in Equestria. He had to adapt to his new body, new name, new society, and all of it crushes down on him even after spending so much time in a new world. Some of his views are turned upside down, new norms he has to adapt to are very different from what he was used to see. Especially the age problem.

While adult turning child is funny while watched from outside, think about how much stress the person has to go through: no one takes him seriously, he's physically weak, he can't take care of himself. While it's not fully true with Flame, he is indeed in great stress.

Remember how age restrictions are hammered into our heads. Remember how sexual restrictions are shoven down our throats. Combine these two together...

Also, remember how rarely Flame cried. I think it was only once, maybe twice. The mix of a militaristic father and religious mother gave him a lot of problems due to the restrictions they gave to him.

"Real men don't cry", "Real men are always brave", "No sex until you're married", "Anything but procreational sex is bad". These and many other similar words cut deep inside us, inside our minds, leaving scars. Invisible scars. All of this self-restriction is stressful for a human being as it is unnatural for us to not show emotion or to not like pleasure.

While this story is comedy, I will address important things from time to time. It sounds cheesy, but people need to know some things they tend to ignore.

Please, do not rant about how useless or stupid or unfunny it was. I don't want to make a comedy with a character you cannot sympathize or relate to in some way. I want my characters, all of them, to be alive, and not just some words written on a web page. I hope you all understand that.