Equestrian Outcastsby ThePonified56
Chapters
- The Youtube Meet-Up
- Different Dimensions
- Wolves in Sheeps Clothing
- Knowledge is Power
- Quest Planning & Cake
- The Thirst For Alcohol
- Old Habits Die Hard
- Harmony Imbalance
- Alone in the Ward
- Fallout & Unification
- The Golden Oak Library Job
- Chaos in Numbers
- Claustrophobia
- Lucidity
- The Interviews
- Skimming the River
- Death Defying Tests
The Youtube Meet-Up
It was finally here.
The day when my friends from across the globe finally all assemble in one town. We have all had this planned for months. Plenty of saving up and donations, and after all our hard work, it was finally happening. It was a Thursday, and it was the only thing on my mind all week. I couldn't even focus at work.
I had already planned to book the Friday off work, so as soon as I finished work that evening, I drove straight home at what seemed to be double the national speed limit and threw myself into the shower. I now lived on my own as my apprenticeship matured into my full time job, giving me a huge increase in salary so giving accommodation for the lads was no problem at all.
I had to check who was first. Today was going to be full of driving. I would be lucky if I don't fall asleep at the wheel at least once. There was a total of six of us. Excluding me and another British lad, there were four we needed to pick up. Ryan, Sean, Dylan and Damon all needed a ride back to mine. Ollie was able to make his way to mine on his own, and even has the possibility to pick up one of the lads on the way.
I booted up my computer in my office and waited for it to reach full capacity. I checked my carefully laid out Word document with all the times on it and realised Damon was first. He was arriving at Heathrow airport in two hours. I knew that he had to travel all the way from Australia so he must have been flying for hours before he reached us. I knew he was going to be jet-lagged to hell. I packed a few energy drinks, some snacks, my phone and phone charger, wallet and keys and headed out the door.
My 2013 Vauxhall Astra had treated me well for the last three months since I passed my driving test, but this was its first real challenge now. I played Figure's new album on the way to Heathrow airport and made sure I didn't fault or speed too much. After a one and three quarter hour car journey, I pulled into the pickup lane outside the airport and messaged Damon on Facebook to tell him that I was waiting outside in a Red Astra.
25 minutes later, a very weary familiar face emerged from the crowds pouring in and out of the airport entrance.
"Hey Cally!" I immediately got out of my car and greeted Damon.
"Sup Damon, my man! Finally get to meet you in person!" We exchanged a handshake, packed all his bags and we got ready to depart to the next destination.
Damon was a lad that lived in Australia and we all brought together by one common thing. YouTube Poops and the art of editing. For all those who are not as Internet-savvy as some of us, it basically means that there would be a video on the internet or as we refer to it, a source. And what we do is remix the video in various ways resulting in funny jokes, story sagas and even huge collaborations.
This hobby expands a lot of sources, such as Youtubers, old games, new cartoons and the sort. But there was one source in particular that I was involved in. Michael Rosen. He is a 69 year old author and children's laureate. In 2007, he filmed himself reading some of his poems and even acting them out. But that was the raw content. Sentence mixing wizards would come along and change his words up to make him go from a honest author to a Paedophile with a unhealthy obsession with plums.
Anyway, these videos are created by individual people called Poopers. Due to social networking and all focusing on one topic, a small group of people got to know each other and grew exponentially over the years. This eventually became what we know as The Michael Rosen Community, or as I knew it, The Community. But I became extremely close to five individuals. DrHotelMario, SeanKeogh1991, Mad Mothz, Damonater1234 and DylanCliff111.
We had Skype calls all of the time, and even created a series on YouTube where I would record us in the call and make a comedy episode out of it.
As the months went on, we all dreamed of meeting up and spending a few weeks with each other. Eventually, we were determined to finally fuel it and make it happen.
Me and Damon were sat in my Astra in the pickup lane when my hands free kit was wailing at me. The phone displayed Mothz was ringing me.
"That would be Ollie then." I chucked to Damon.
"This is Joe's funeral service. You kill 'em, we grill 'em. How may I help you?" I joked, only to hear Ollie laughing on the other end.
"Cally mate, how are ya?" Ollie said, cheerfully.
"Doing good fella, you almost on your way?" I asked.
"Just about to leave, I'm picking up Dylan and Sean from Bristol on the way, is that okay?" He replied.
"By all means mate, it saves me fuel and time! You got my address?" I said.
"Yeah buddy, I shall see you guys in a few hours! Later mate!" He said as the phone call ended.
Ollie was picking Dylan and Sean from Bristol airport, what a result. So I checked my phone for the time that Ryan was arriving in Gatwick, and he was a hour away.
"You'd better step on it Cally, I'm getting thirsty. I think you know what I mean." Damon joked, referencing Michael Rosen jokes.
I pulled out of the pickup lane and started our journey to Gatwick airport. If I survived all the driving, this was going to be a fortnight to remember. The whole journey to Gatwick, me and Damon were talking about plans for tonight and the few weeks that were going to follow. We all booked days off work, skipped school or college just so we could make this meet up, a reality. We knew if we didn't do this soon, we were going to run out of opportunities and it would never happen.
"So Cally, what's the plan once we are all in one place?" Damon asked me.
"For tonight? I seriously consider we all chill the fuck out. Grab a few casual beers, have a few rounds of Zombies, and get some rest. We're all gonna be absolutely fucked after all this travelling" I replied back.
"Sounds like a plan. I take it Friday night will be messy?" He said, getting excited.
"Aww mate, tomorrow night will be insane. We'll go on a pub crawl in a small town close to mine. I have got to warn you though, reaching pub ten will be a accomplishment." I boasted, because I have attempted it before, and I never made it past pub eight.
Finally, we reached Gatwick and we parked up and began the hunt for Ryan. five minutes later, we heard a familiar voice.
"Snaaaaaaans!"
Me and Damon glanced at each other, knowing who shouted that.
"Mario." We both said in unison.
Ryan, or 'Mario' as he is known to us, is another unique member of The Community. Joining around the same time as me, we became very close friends along with one other member, which was Sean. We scanned our surroundings and saw this figure staring at us with what looked like, the biggest rape face I have ever seen.
"Damon! Cally! We finally made it!" Ryan shouted as me and Damon ran towards him.
He looked like he had never seen anything, quite so amazing, in all his life. Ryan shook hands with us both and we helped him with his things towards the car. Ryan could barely contain his excitement and to be honest, me and Damon couldn't either. All the way back to the car, we were cracking jokes and quoting our favourite Michael Rosen YouTube Poops. We got to the car, packed Ryan's things, and jumped back in.
"Quiet lads, I need to call Ollie to see how he has got on." I said.
I dialled the number and waited for the response.
"Cally! How have you got on?" I heard from the other end.
"Great mate! I have Mario and Damon here with me! Just about to start my final drive home, you?" I replied with glee.
"Doing alright man, I've picked up Dylan, just waiting on Sean now. His flight got delayed by half an hour, so he'll be here soon." Ollie said.
"Alright dude, soon as you get him, get your asses to mine! We may even beat you home!" I laughed.
"You are on then buddy! See you soon!" Ollie replied.
"Later on mate!" I said as I hung up the call.
I turned towards Damon and Ryan to let them know.
"Guys, Sean's flight is slightly late, so now we're racing those three to get back home. How does that sound?" I told them.
Damon and Ryan easily agreed that we get a move on and beat them home. I pushed my Astra to the limit to get us home first, but also making sure that we didn't get pulled over or end up with a speeding ticket.
It was 11:27pm and I pulled into my driveway, only to see a sky blue Vauxhall Corsa in my space, with three dark figures stood beside it. The sight slightly spooked me, but I quickly figured out what had happened.
We lost the race.
"Fuck sake lads, we didn't make it. It's all your fault, Mario!" I joked as we got out of the car.
Stood there, was the other lads. Dylan, Sean and Ollie. Dylan and Sean were from Ireland and had to fly over, where as Ollie lived near Brighton and only had to drive up. All the lads shook hands with each other and they gathered all of their bags.
"Hope you lads enjoy the accommodation!" I shouted, as I opened the front door.
"It's fucking shite! I'm just joking babe, but I get your bed." Sean responded.
Sean was one of the original lads, which was me, Ryan and him. We got to know Dylan, Damon and Ollie after we banded together and got ourselves into The Community. Dylan was in the community since the beginning, being the one here with over five thousand subscribers under his belt. And Ollie was in the community before me, and was still growing rapidly. He became involved with us after we all banded together and before we knew it, we were all like a family.
We all poured into my front room and the lads got their bags unpacked and discussed sleeping arrangements. I went back down stairs and grabbed the cold six pack of beer I saved in the fridge for this occasion. Once they were finished, we all grabbed one each, and cracked it open. We all crashed on the sofa and turned the old school PS3 on and played World at War's Zombie Mode until the early hours.
Due to Damon being severely jetlagged, he had dropped off into a well needed sleep after two short games. Ryan was not far behind him, as they both spend over a total of 12 hours travelling. But me, Ollie, Sean and Dylan continued playing until we all finally decided to sleep at 4am, so we all headed to bed to get some rest. As I was wrecked from all the driving, I needed it. But they were finally all here. I turned out my light and drifted off.
I woke up first at 11am and headed downstairs to grab some breakfast and waited for the other lads to wake up. Ryan was the first to come downstairs.
"Morning Mario! How is your snans? Still sore?" I joked.
"It's really good. I still cannot believe that we are finally together man, this is gonna be so good!" Ryan replied, excitedly.
"I know man, but only if the lazy fucks will get their asses out of bed. So you up for that pub crawl tonight? It will be insane!" I said.
"Yeah boy! It's strange because you only have to be 18 to drink here!" He said gleeful, as he need to be 21 to drink in his home county of America.
"I know, it's sick. Want some breakfast? I got plenty to choose from." I told him, as I walked over to the cupboard and placed boxes of cereal on the breakfast bar. I made us both a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee.
We both finished breakfast and after I finished the washing up, watched the news like zombies until Dylan thudded downstairs and got himself a coffee.
"Mate, you coming out tonight? Because you fucking better be!" I shouted across the living room to the equally as zombified Dylan.
"Yeah, I'll be up for that. I just need to wake up first." He muttered, still half asleep.
The following sound was sure to wake him up.
"Oiiiiiii!" Sean shouted as he came downstairs.
"We all know who that is, don't we lads?" I responded.
"Of course you do! Now, where is my breakfast with bacon?" Sean said.
"It's in your ass. Feel free to have a hot drink and a bowl of cereal or some toast." I told him as my eyes were fixated on the news.
We decided to let Damon and Ollie sleep through the morning, and we just played a lot of video games until roughly 3pm. Once it hit 3pm, I decided we should start doing something productive.
"Right, time to get the lads up. And come to think of it, we should start getting ready to go out." I told everyone.
I went to get Damon up and Ryan went to go and get Ollie. I was surprised Damon wasn't up with us, as he is usually awake until the early morning.
"Get up, lazy arse! We got shots to down!" I laughed as I kicked the bed he was sprawled all over.
The only response I was met with was a few dissatisfied groans and he flipped over.
"Seriously dude, you need to get up!" I persisted.
I decided to rip the covers off Damon, to which he then proceeded to crawl across the floor, towards his suitcase without walking. I probably gave him the weirdest of looks. I let him get dressed and started to get ready myself.
By the time we were all ready, it was roughly 7pm. The lads that travelled over five hours were a little less jet lagged so that they could enjoy their night. We decided to get a taxi to the small town with the biggest pub ratio I have ever seen. I knew there was easily, over 15 pubs in this town. We all arrived in the first pub and began the pub crawl.
"So... How many pubs do you reckon we'll conquer tonight then lads?" Uttered Damon, between sips of the fresh, ice cold beer.
"Mate, I'll be pleased if we manage to get into the double figures. Probably not gonna happen though." I replied.
"Ten? Is that it? Me and Sean will be on double that! We have got Irish blood, remember?" Dylan joked.
"Yeah yeah, but don't come looking for me when you can't remember where I live," I replied, sarcastically.
Before we knew it, pint number one was gone and we needed another. So the pub opposite was next. And that pint went down even easier. Within the space of an hour, we were on pint number five. Due to us not really eating much before we headed out, it hit our empty stomachs and it all went to our heads. Well, I said all. Dylan and Sean were only half as drunk as us, due to experience in Ireland. My vision became slightly unfocused. Then I was not able to focus on anything.
As we got to pub eight, my walking started getting affected, along with everyone else. I do remember us all doing shots and then our last beer in pub 10, but then my memory escapes me after that point. There is a very distinct line between remembering and then full frontal amnesia. That was one such case.
Next thing I knew, me, Ryan, Damon and Ollie woke up in some sort of haunted house. Well, not haunted, but full of cobwebs, boarded windows, abandoned for years. And yet we had all crashed on the living room floor. Luckily it was warm outside or we may not have fared so well. My mouth was ridiculously dry and I had the worst headache. I rolled over to see two of the lads were missing. Dylan and Sean were not in the room we were in.
"Ugghh. Guys.... Guys wake up... Wait... Where... The fuck is Dylan and Sean?" I muttered from my extremely hungover state.
"Huh... The fuck... Where are we?" Ryan replied, oblivious to my previous question.
"Ryan, where is Dylan and Sean?" I asked again slowly, knowing this time I would get a half sober answer at least.
"Oh shiiiiit. I don't know. Check your phone?" He said, with a worried undertone in his voice.
I patted my pockets to see if I even still had my phone. Luckily I did. Along with my keys and wallet. I pressed the home button on my phone. Black screen. Must have died on the night out. I didn't have my charger on me, and this place didn't look like it had power anyway.
"Guys, they're fine. I have shitloads of drunken texts from Dylan, the latest was only 45 minutes ago. So I am sure they are fine." Ollie shouted to us all, giving us all a sigh of relief.
"Oh thank fuck." I muttered, allowing my heart to calm down and stop beating a million beats a second. I reached further into my pocket and saw a crudely written receipt, for over three hundred pounds.
What the fuck did I buy for three hundred pound from some dodgy dealer in a dark ally, drunk as fuck? After I rolled my ass off the dusty floor, I discovered a package, badly wrapped in brown paper. It was three feet wide and five feet high. I picked it up and ripped it open as hard as I could.
"A FUCKING MIRROR!?" I screamed.
I was extremely angry. Three hundred pound of my money on a fucking mirror. The Range could have done me a cheap one for ten pounds.
"You have got to be kidding me!" Ollie shouted.
"Fucking hell..." I sighed in frustration.
"Mario, fucking destroy this thing and let's go home." I told him as I stormed off.
Ryan picked up the biggest plank of wood he could and threw it straight into the face of the mirror. But it never smashed. It went THROUGH the mirror. Not smashing into it. Like it was a watery surface.
Was I still drunk?
Probably, but even this, even I couldn't hallucinate what I just saw. Unless I was drugged.
"What the.... Actual fuck happened there!?" I uttered, not able to comprehend what just happened.
"No idea... Mario, throw something else in there!" Ollie shouted, just as surprised as I am.
Ryan continued to throw small objects into the mirror.
After 10 minutes of messing around with the mirror, which included pissing into it may I add, the still drunk Damon dared him to stick his hand into the mirror.
"Fuck... Really? Should I try it guys?" Ryan stammered, not sure in whether it was a good idea.
"Just stick your pinkie finger in there first. Then try your hand." Damon muttered.
I knew Ryan wasn't going to take any banter he could not retaliate with, so he proceeded to slowly put his pinkie finger into the mirror. It rippled around the finger as he entered.
"Woah... it feels cold... But I don't feel wet. It's like slime..."
He continued to place his hand and then eventually until his elbow.
"Go all the way in!" Ollie joked.
But because Ryan was still half drunk, he stepped right in.
He was gone. Completely gone. The mirror rippled like water, but Ryan had completely fell inside. My heart stopped. I felt the colour from my face drain away.
"OH FUCK, GET HIM OUT!" I screamed.
Ollie jumped in first, followed by Damon and I was the last one to follow. I hit the surface of the mirror and it wrapped itself across the surface of my face, all down my body until it had consumed all of me. I can remember what happened, clear as day.
But the best way I can describe it, is like transcending time and space, while watching the ending to 2001: A Space Odyssey. Until there was a super bright light that took up all my vision. When I woke up... I saw nothing.
Different Dimensions
I felt awful. My head was spinning, my whole body was numb, my eyes throbbed with excruciating pain, my ears rang louder than I have ever heard before. My mind was also processing over million things. I could not bare it. I couldn't think. I tried calming down and at least, try to open my eyes. My eyes opened slowly and all I felt the entire time was a searing, burning pain in both my eyes. It felt like years before my eyes were fully open and I was actually able to process any of my surroundings without it seeming like a Michael Bay film or J.J Abrams film.
I looked straight ahead. A canopy. Dark leaves and twisted branches. But there was a noticeable gap in the canopy, in which moonlight flooded the surrounding clearing that I was currently laying in. Speaking of being led down, where was I? I tried to sit up, but my body felt it was not able to contort in such a way. I raised my arms into my vision and I could not have been any more horrified. My hands were gone. No fingers, no wrists, no palms. Just black stubs that ended where my palms should begin.
It was a feeling I have never experienced before. My heart started to race as I felt myself slowly panicking. I used my eyes to observe what was at the edge of my peripheral view and that frightened me more so. It was a gray body, with shorter legs, more distinct knees, which were even shorter and I had no feet. If I did have feet, there was near to no characteristics about normal looking feet. No toes or anything. It looked like my ankles were my feet. My heart was in my mouth, I couldn't focus on anything. My breathing became erratic and short, my eyes shot around my surroundings, not focusing, but glancing.
I had to stand up. I used what stumps of hands I had left to push myself off the floor so I was now facing the ground. I was now led on my stomach and I used my arms to position myself so I was able to try balancing on my legs, as I clearly had no feet. It was difficult, but I got the hang of it. I didn't need much balance on my legs, as my arms gave me most of the balance I needed. But I was on all fours, I needed to stand up. Although, it felt oddly comfortable to be on all fours. Standing didn't really feel natural. I looked above me without moving my neck and my hair was very odd. It was a flicked-fringe type of haircut, which was red, with a natural white highlight straight through the middle. I turned around to see the rest of me. It was with a chilling realisation, I recognised what I was. I was a pony.
A goddamn pony. Four legs, the mane and even the tail, which I checked to see if I had. I felt a little more at ease, with a slight idea of where I was. I looked around the clearing in the horrible forest, and I saw three other ponies, led on the floor in a comatose state. One had a brown body, a blue mane with black highlights, and a blue tail, with black highlights. I gathered he must be a Pegasus as he had feathered wings. Another pony had wings, but he was a dark orange, with a bright yellow mane and tail. The last was a unicorn, with a sky blue body, dark blue mane and tail that also had deep red highlights all the way through. I walked over to see if they were okay, and I listened to their breathing and watched their chests to see if they were still alive. Thankfully, they were.
"Mario? Damon? Ollie? Is that you guys?" I asked the group, as I was hopeful for some sort of response.
I waited around for a few more moments, and the brown and blue pony started to move in the slightest of ways.
"You okay!? Who are you? What's your name?" I shouted as I walked over to him to ensure he woke up calmly.
"It's Damon... Mate, what happened..? Did we get drunk again?" He mumbled in a sleep-like state.
"Not particularly. When you open your eyes, you promise not to freak out, okay?" I told him, but there was a shaky tone in my voice, which I'm sure made Damon slightly unnerved.
"What, why? What's wrong? What happened?" He muttered.
He slowly opened his eyes, which were bloodshot and black, which scared me slightly.
"Agh fuck! It burns!" He screamed, immediately closing his eyes and using his arm to shield his face.
I was panicking as well, as Damon could be blind for all I knew. I tried to reassure him as I thought of something to calm him down. I looked over to see a mildly large leaf that was resting on some fauna that could help Damon shield his eyes. I tried running over towards the leaf, only to completely lose balance and collapse. Running was not working for me at the moment, as I now had to master the technique of using four legs instead of two. So I stuck to what I knew and walked toward the leaf. I looked at the leaf, and then down at my hooves. I wasn't grabbing that, I had no fingers. I decided to use my mouth to grab it and drag it towards Damon. I pulled it over his head and he stopped his panicking and thrashing, and finally started to calm down.
"What's happened? Help me mate!" Damon quivered from under the large leaf on his face.
"You may or may not be glad about what has happened to us." I warned him, as he remained to lay there.
"We... Have become ponies." I blurted to him, expecting a freak out of a reaction.
His movement calmed right down, as he also had sudden realisation towards why he had no hands, fingers or toes.
"Wait, you mean ponies from...?" He uttered in complete surprise. Before he was able to finish his sentence, I said yes, as I knew what he was going to say.
"Holy shit.... That is amazing! But why do my eyes fucking burn?" Damon certainly sounded excited to be a pony, a Pegasus as well. But why he is nearly blind, confused me also.
"I don't know mate. But my eyes were burning too. But I can now see fine." I assured him, but I knew that my eyes were okay by this time he had been awake.
"Can you squint, look at the floor and keep the leaf over your head? I need to get you on your feet- I mean hooves."
I could no longer see his eyes, but with my help, he was able to stand up and balance the leaf on his head to avoid future burns. With Damon on his feet and feeling slightly better, I turned my attention to the sky blue pony, who was staggering to his feet. I walked to him and supported him in standing as well. By the time I had already reached him, he knew that we were not longer classed as humans.
"You okay man? You able to stand? What's your name?" I asked, stabilising his balance.
"Yeah, I'm good buddy. It's Ollie, dude! Can you believe this though? We are ponies! Do you reckon we are in the same universe?" He questioned me, which sent a shiver down my spine. That feeling still felt the same. I asked myself that as well. Will we see the others that are in the show? Does Ponyville exist? And where were we in this universe?
"It is pretty mad, isn't it? Cannot figure out for the life of me, where we are though." I replied, unsure what to reply with, as I didn't want to unnerve any of the lads.
"Hey Ollie, can you help me in waking Ryan? He is still unconscious. Well, I think it's Ryan." I asked.
We both walked over to the dark orange pony, who was still led face down, on the surprisingly soft grass.
"Ryan? You alright mate? You all there?" I asked him, not knowing if I would get a response.
He suddenly took a massive intake of air, screamed to his lungs capacity, and thrashed away from me and Ollie in a crawling fashion. My heart was again, in my mouth. I needed to stop him panicking.
"Ryan, it's us! Cally, Ollie and Damon! Calm down dude! It's okay!" I told him, trying to reassure him to the best of my abilities.
He was looking all around his surroundings, his breathing was short and very erratic, and he was shaking uncontrollably.
"What the fuck!? Where are we!? What's going on!?" Ryan screamed at me and Ollie in his state of panic.
"We'll explain everything, you just need to calm down! Stop the shouting and freaking out." I said to him, making my tone of voice softer as I tried to calm him.
He took some breaths, sat up straight and slumbered.
"We are ponies from the talking horses universe. You remember watching talking horses?" I asked him, making sure I didn't trigger another panic attack.
"You mean ponies from My Little Pony? Like, the Mane Six and all the rest of it?" He replied, more confused than scared.
"I believe so, at least I think so. Come on, on your hooves so we can get out of here and figure out where we are." I told him.
We all walked towards Damon, who was still struggling to open his eyes to a capacity to where he could actually see properly.
"How are your eyes mate? You able to see yet?" I asked him, wondering if he will ever be okay.
"Still burning. It feels like I am constantly staring at the sun. And I am guessing it is in the middle of the night?" He replied, because he shared the same fears as I did.
"Yeah, it is. Can you see enough to follow us?" I asked back, as I didn't like spending time in this ominously creepy forest.
"I suppose so. You lead the way then dude." He answered, focusing on the searing pain.
We walked in a pack, and made our way into the only path leading out of the clearing. The canopy instantly became thicker and visibility from the moonlight dropped dramatically. Damon was able to see a slight amount more, but still not a lot. We kept walking in one direction, but it looked the same every way we went. It was until after we walked in what seemed like a straight line for ages, that things became even darker. The surrounding noises were more intense. The growling grew louder. We were looking all around us, starting to panic as we needed a way out of here. Four shadowy figures started to fade into vision in front of us, and I instantly became very afraid. I stopped, and everyone else followed suit.
"I hope that isn't what I think it is..." I muttered, trying to keep my cool.
The four shadows finally took shape. Four legged beasts. Made of sticks, trees and off cuts. Timber Wolves.
"Fuck. Back away... Slowly." I whispered to the rest of us, knowing we were in immediate danger.
But the wolves were gaining on us. We needed another idea.
"Anyone here know how to run?" I whimpered, as my cool was quickly fading.
"Fuck it, we'll learn... RUUUN!" Ryan screamed as we turned around and tried our best to run in the opposite direction.
My footwork was very sketchy, I was all over the place, constantly missing steps and injuring my hooves, but as I was pumped with adrenaline, I didn't feel any of it. I was running, that was all that mattered. The guys were right ahead of me, with Damon leading the pack, despite having no idea where he was going or even what he could see. We ran, and ran. Our very lives depended on it. I looked ahead of Damon to see a opening between two very narrow rocks that we could possibly fit though. It was our only hope, as those wolves would continue to hunt us down until dawn. And we couldn't run forever.
"There! That clearing! Go there!" I shouted to Damon, hoping that he saw what we did and would run between it.
Using blind luck, he ran right through the rock formation, nearly hitting his head. But he made it unscathed. The rest of the lads ran through, also escaping the wolves. By now, I could practically feel the hot breath on the back of my hind legs as I ran with all my might towards the gap. I leaped as far as I could towards the gap and landed just short, but due to my momentum, I slid right into the mud near the formation and right through the gap. Due to the wolves being too big and going too fast to slow down, all four wolves collided with the rocks, and shattered into pieces. All four of us collapsed to catch our breaths. We nearly died. But we were no longer in the forest. We were in a large green field. We looked all around us, and in the far distance, we saw a bustling town with lights, music as some sort of civilisation. We decided to make our way there, as we didn't really have a choice.
As we neared closer, we started to hear other voices, very loud music and fireworks going off periodically.
I looked in the distance and there was a large stage, supported by crudely constructed speakers and framework.
"Hey lads look, a freaking dance festival!" I joked, but I loved the look of how it was going.
The music playing was remarkably similar to modern electronic dance music. It was rather bizarre, but something that I enjoyed. We passed a few houses behind the festival so that we could pass through the town without drawing too much attention.
"Guys, we need to find some sort of inn or some place to stay, get Damon's eyes checked out, then we need to find work." I said aloud, to which we all unanimously agreed upon.
Walking away from the festival, we found a run-down house that had a sign with "space available" in the window. We decided to try our luck. But before we entered, I stopped and had a small talk with the lads.
"Now guys, try and act as natural as we can. We can't afford to fuck this up." I said to the group, to which I was met with nods and hums of agreement. Apart from Damon, who just wanted to rest.
"Hello there, me and my fellow friends have run into a spot of bother and we do not have a lodge for the night. Would we be able to have one room for us to all share and we can repay you back in the morning?" I politely asked the book keeper at the front desk.
"Since you are a kind fellow, I'll let you have room 42, here is your keys. Be awake for the rooster?" She replied, with a kind smile.
"Sure thing, see you then. By the way, you don't happen to have some sort of bedside nurse or anything of the sort, do you?" I just had to ask, because Damon's condition was worrying me. He had his eyes closed ever since we arrived in this town.
"If you get yourselves settled, I'll be up in a while and I'll see what's wrong with you." She replied, smiling more than before.
I thanked her for her kind generosity and we all headed upstairs to the 42nd room, making sure Damon didn't fall or bump into anything on the way. Once in the room, I locked the door, dimmed the lights and got Damon seated on the only bed in this small room. It wasn't posh, but it had warmth and it was safe.
"Guys, since we are now in this universe, we need different aliases for when we bump into other ponies. Try and think of something that resembles our past selves." I said to everybody.
"Well, I was building, maintaining and repairing guns... So how about Smoking Barrel for me?" Damon said aloud.
"Sounds good mate. Well, I was a electrician when I was human, so I'll go with... Circuit Boost." I announced, to which everyone acknowledged.
"Aw, that is cute. I was in the Yu-Gi-Oh World Championships before this, so I'll name myself after my favourite card; Star Eater. Speaking on which, I'll miss the fucking final now." Ollie said.
"That's a little close to mine. Space always fascinated me, and I was extremely inspired by the Apollo missions, so I'll be Story Armstrong." Mario said last.
"That is that then! Circuit Boost, Smoking Barrel, Star Eater and Story Armstrong!" I said as I pointed at everybody in the room.
"That's another thing, do not mention this to anybody else! If anybody finds out about where we came from, we'll be outsiders. Just say we have passed through and this looked like a nice town. If they ask us where we are from, just say you have travelled all over, never really finding a good place. Good enough?" I said to everybody, in a quieter tone of voice.
Everyone agreed. Who knew what would happen if anybody found out about where we were from originally. Just as we finished that conversation, we heard the sound of trotting coming up the old, rickety wooden staircase that lead to our room. There was a polite tap on the door.
"Is everypony okay in there? Do I have permission to come in?" A sweet voice said from behind the old door.
"Yeah, we are all good in here, let me let you in." Ryan said as he walked over to the door and unlocked it with a slightly bent hoof.
The door opened and the book keeper from a few moments ago entered with a small first aid bag suspended in mid air, surrounded by a green aura that was sparkly and was a pleasant view to the eye. "It must be her Unicorn magic holding that there." I thought to myself. It glided through the air flawlessly, until she rested it onto the bed on which Damon was laying on.
"So, what seems to be the problem, dearie?" She politely asked Damon as he shifted uncomfortably.
"Basically, I cannot see." Damon muttered, very bluntly.
"May I look?" She asked, hesitantly.
Damon gave a disapproving sigh as he edged towards the edge of the bed. She opened his eyes, much to the wincing from Damon, took his temperature, shone a light into his eyes and did a reflex test.
"I know what's wrong with your friend." She said, in a monotone.
"What's wrong with him? Can anything be done?" Ollie asked, hastily.
"He has mild glaucoma. His pupils are very photosensitive and may require UV protection on his eyes so he can retain vision." She told us.
"Sorry to be rude, but what does that mean?" I questioned.
"He will need to wear sunglasses. Hold on, I may have a spare pair downstairs." She said before we walked out and went back down the old stairs.
"Aww mate, you are gonna need sunglasses! How do you feel about that?" Me and Ollie joked.
"Not too bad, don't like people looking right into my eyes anyway." Damon said as he reclosed his eyes and rolled over.
"Sorry mate, was that a touchy subject?" I asked him.
"Not really, just grouchy, that's all." Damon grumbled back.
I looked at the other lads and shrugged. The book keeper came back upstairs with some cheaply made, hardly black but acceptable sunglasses for Damon to wear.
"Here you are, mister...?" She asked, awaiting Damon to say his name.
"Dam- uh, Smoking Barrel, but call me Barrel." Damon smiled, as he placed the sunglasses on his head.
He instantly perked up after getting those sunglasses on his head. We all thanked the book keeper for her generosity, we turned the light out and we arranged where we were going to sleep. Two of us hit the hay on the floor and the other two shared the bed. It was awkward trying to get comfortable on the rickety floor, but I finally found a spot, closed my eyes and tried to fall asleep.
Wolves in Sheeps Clothing
I was awoken by a extremely loud rooster cooing through the window. I opened my eyes and saw it was extremely bright outside. I got up from my warm spot and looked outside and saw that the sun was in the middle of the sky.
"Oh shit. Guys, I think we are supposed to be awake now." I said to the lads, who were just waking up.
I opened my door and carefully walked down the old steps until I was in reception and it was completely empty.
"Good morning!" The book keeper greeted me suddenly, which did startle me.
"Did I startle you? I do apologise. It's nice to see you are awake! Are your friends awake as well?" She asked politely.
"Yes, they are just waking now. I'd like to thank you again for your kind hospitality. What would you like us to do first to repay you?" I replied back, still a little tired.
"Well I have a empty carriage outside that needs to be filled with apples, so make your way to Sweet Apple Acres, take this receipt and ask for the order." She said, as she gave me a piece of parchment with scrawls on it.
I can give that to Damon.
"There is four of us, so is there anything else we can do?" I continued, as it would not take all four of us to pull one small carriage full of apples.
"I have a pile of books to return to the library, so they can be given back. I have a Daring Do book that I borrowed from Rainbow Dash, so that needs giving back as well, although us Earth & Unicorn ponies cannot fly or walk on clouds without Magic, so you may need a Pegasus to do that one. And finally, I have a carriage full of old scrap metal that is rather heavy that needs taking to the Recycling Plant opposite the Train Station. You Earth ponies are much stronger than all of us! Is that enough work?" She said, finally catching her breath.
Rainbow Dash? Sweet Apple Acres? The Library? Yeah, that confirmed my suspicions. We were in Equestria, within the universe of My Little Pony. A work of animated art, that we thought that was entirely fictional, did actually exist in real spacetime. How do such coincidences exist? Thankfully for us, that gave us a leg up, as we have watched a great deal of the series and we knew what we up against. It sounded like the library is still in one piece, so it looked like this universe has not stayed exactly true to the fictional storyline back on Earth, due to the destruction of the library in the finale of Season 4. I quickly gathered my wits amongst what the book keeper just said and replied.
"That is perfect, thank you very much." I said, taking everything I need.
I headed back upstairs as I pondered which pony could have each job. Damon can retrieve the apples, Ollie can return the books, Ryan can use his wings to return the Daring Do book, although he has never flown. And I can pull that scrap metal. I also remembered what she said. Earth Pony. I reached my forehead and there was no horn, and I had no wings. I guess that means due to having no magic or flight, we were stronger and, of course, I had no problem with that.
"Guys, I have our jobs for today to earn us some Bits to rent somewhere at least." I announced as I returned back upstairs.
"Damon, you have to go and pick up a load of apples from Sweet Apple Acres. There is a small carriage outside for you to transport them." As I handed him the parchment with scrawls on.
"I got it. I may need directions but I'll figure it out." Damon replied, as he walked out of the room, wearing his new sunglasses that shielded him from some of the pain.
"Ollie, you need to take these library books back to the main library, which I think is Twilight's residence, if she even exists in this universe. Head for the middle of town" I told him, using my hooves to balance the books on his back.
"Gotcha!" He said, carefully keeping the books balanced as he left.
"Mario, you need to figure out how to fly, and quickly. Rainbow Dash does exist in this universe, and the book keeper borrowed a Daring Do book from her. So learn to fly. Once you have got that dialled, get your ass to Cloudsdale and ask where she is or at least, where to return the book." I told Ryan, handing him the book.
"Alright man! What did she give you?" He questioned as he headed out the door.
"There is a large carriage outside that is carrying lots of scrap metal. I have to take it to the scrap yard on the outskirts of town." I said.
"I suppose we all we all meet here afterwards?" Ryan replied.
"Yeah dude. We need to pay the book keeper back for letting us stay last night." I said to him, as I needed to stay true to my promise I made to her that night.
Making enemies was not a wise idea in this town. Ryan took the book and headed out of the door, off to look for Rainbow Dash. I was slightly unsure on how the lads were going to get on, but I was confident in their abilities. I tidied the room we rented, shut the door and left the inn. Around the back, in a small stable, was the carriage full of scrap metal. I hooked myself to the carriage, and began to pull. It was stubborn to begin with, but once I was on solid and flat ground, it got a lot easier. I walked for what seemed like hours, until I reached the train station. I looked around, for some sort of recycling plant. But all I found was a small hut, surrounded by a crude metal mesh fence surrounding the hut, with ponies, hand sorting the metal from different types into different containers. Copper cables, iron plates and old horseshoes. I walked closer to speak to the ponies inside.
"Good afternoon, I have a rather large deposit of scrap here. Where would you like me to place it?" I said, trying to be as polite as I could.
Their faces went from slightly frustrated to very annoyed.
"Around the back." One pony said, in a very grumpy and blunt tone of voice.
I wheeled the carriage around to the back and I saw a myriad of different objects just left around. Old gyrocopter blades, metal frames, meters upon meters of copper cable and even a farming plough. No wonder these ponies were not happy to see me. I parked the carriage and began emptying it onto the floor. Once I was done, I reattached the carriage back onto me and I made my way back to the inn. I got back much faster this time, as I had no additional weight. As I parked the carriage back into the stable, the carriage full of apples was already back there. Damon must have already picked them up and returned. I entered the inn and made my way up to our rented room to find Damon laying there on the bed with a beaming smile on his face.
"Why is Smoking Barrel in such a good mood then?" I quizzed him, laughing after I had finished.
"Dude, Smoking Barrel sounds too formal coming from a close friend. Call me Barrel. Sounds better. Anyway, I got to the farm and I met Applejack! Big Macintosh and Applebloom were there too!" Damon squeed with joy.
I distinctly remember that when we were watching the series, Damon mentioned Applejack was indeed, his favourite pony. No wonder he was going crazy with excitement.
"Congratulations dude! Must be a honour to meet one of the Mane Six, especially one of your favourites." I replied.
"Better yet, Applejack said she had never seen a Pegasus control a carriage like I did! So she offered me a job at Sweet Apple Acres!" Damon screamed, barely able to contain himself.
We had been in this world one day, and he had scored a job before any of us. That was impressive.
"What will you be doing then man?" I asked.
"Transporting apples, aerial checkups once I learn to fly and pulling the ploughs around the fields. Although I heard from AJ and Big Mac that some of them were very rusty and in a dire state. So I may need to practice with them for a while."
As soon as Damon said about the nearly broken ploughs, my mind automatically brought a huge idea into my head, faster than I could have imagined.
"Dude, come with me. I think I know a way to counteract the rusty ploughs." I told him, as I left the room.
Damon was asking me what I was thinking all the way to the scrapyard and to be fairly honest, I didn't really have a clue myself. I just had to get myself to the scrapyard and my mind would figure it out. We arrived outside the recycling plant and we walked behind it to where I saw the unused plough. But as I tried to focus on what I was looking at, my vision became very targeted and my eyes darted at different objects. Copper wire, old pistons, vibration circles, metal disks, gears and even a old motor. It was very bizarre, but my mind was making a puzzle out of the objects I saw in front of me.
"Come on dude, help me hold this plough up." I told him, walking towards the pile of scrap.
Damon had never looked more confused in all his life, but he held up the plough as I started grabbing various parts and attaching them with crudely made tools that I surprisingly improvised. As I followed my mind in doing all the attachments, I started to make sense of what I was actually constructing. Within the plough, I fitted two metal wheels lightly touching the ground, which spins a axle in the middle. If you put electricity into a motor, you get rotation. But if you do the opposite, you construct a alternator, which is revolutions creating electricity. So the axle was attached to the alternator, which generated enough voltage to power small pistons and vibration disks attached to the base of the plough. So once the switch was turned on and enough speed was gained, the plough had a jack-hammer effect, increasing speed and efficiency of the plough. Once finished, I stood back and I wondered if it actually worked.
"Let's go try this baby out!" I shouted, excited to see if it would actually work.
We walked past the train station with the plough raised so that it wouldn't ruin the town centre as we walked with it. Once we were a good distance from anywhere, I hooked it up to Damon and flicked the switch.
"Alright, try ploughing now" I told him, giving him the signal.
I watched from the side as he pulled, straining a considerable amount. But once he got going, he gained slight speed. As the wheels got faster, the alternator kicked in and the plough did small vibrations, easing the effort required to push it. As it got easier to pull, Damon got faster. And so did the alternator. And before I knew it, he was at nearly running speed, with the plough behind him, effectively fertilising the soil. I was amazed that it actually worked, let alone first time and nearly perfected.
"Holy shit dude, this is easy!" Damon shouted from a distance, while doing many rows of ploughing.
He has almost completed this small field in the space of five minutes. After I knew it worked, another idea struck me.
"Damon! Come back!" I shouted to him, as I wanted him to return.
As he came closer and slowed down, the plough stopped receiving enough voltage and stopped vibrating. I flicked the switch and raised it into transport mode and we walked to Sweet Apple Acres. Once we arrived, Damon ran off to find his new boss and bring her to me. After three minutes of waiting, Applejack, Big Mac and Damon trotted back towards me and the plough.
"Howdy there! I heard that ya'll would like to speak to me?" Applejack greeted me, with a pleasant smile.
"Thanks Barrel. Afternoon Applejack, I would like to speak to you about your plough problem?" I proposed to her.
She immediately seemed sceptical about what I just said.
"How do ya'll know we have a plough problem?" She questioned.
"Barrel overheard you speaking about such a issue. I do apologise about me getting into your business, but I have a offer for you." I replied.
Applejack looked behind me to see my invention.
"Is it about that silly lookin' plough?" She said, with a confused face.
"Yes. I found a old plough at the recycling centre and I have fitted with equipment to make it much more efficient. I'd like to make you an offer for it, but before I ask, would you like a demonstration to show that I am not trying to con you out of your hard earned bits?" I asked.
Saying that I would give Applejack a demonstration must have swayed her to at least give me a try.
"Let's see how this darn tootin' plough works then!" She told us.
Me and Damon wheeled the plough to a untreated piece of land. We parked it up appropriate to the lanes that had to be completed, hooked it up to Damon, flicked the switch and took a few steps back.
"Through my knowledge of electrical science, I have figured out a way to make the plough vibrate without the need for batteries or fancy gizmos. All it needs is some raw power to get it started." I told Applejack as we observed Damon strain to get the plough started.
After a few moments, Damon got moving and the plough' jackhammer effect kicked in. Damon's speed then doubled. Tripled. Quadrupled even. And like before, he was running. Applejack and Big Mac's jaws were hanging low in astonishment. They had never seen anything like this before.
"Oh my... That is incredible! What was your offer again?" Applejack muttered in surprise.
"How does 250 Bits sound? As this is the prototype." I stated. I was not sure if 250 Bits was pushing it, but in the blink of an eye, Applejack had run back to the barn and dropped a bag of Bits in front of me.
"Sold! Thank ya'll ever so much!" She said, extremely pleased.
"Barrel! Stop ploughing! Leave it there, we are out of here!" I shouted to Damon who was a considerable amount of distance from us.
Damon switched off the plough, and ran towards us. He said goodbye to Applejack and Big Mac as he past them and continued to run towards me.
"Holy shit, how many bits did you sell that for!?" Damon shouted, astonished at the bag of bits in my mouth.
"250 Bits." I mumbled between the fabric of the bag.
"Fuck, we could buy a place for that much! I saw a old place for sale for 250 bits!" Damon said, excited.
"Lead the way." I mumbled again, as I followed Damon to the place he spotted earlier.
We walked past many houses and we saw a out of shape cottage that needed a considerable amount of work done to do it. Outside, we saw Stinking Rich outside, reading some paperwork. We approached him and Damon spoke to him.
"Afternoon! Is this place for sale?" Damon asked, getting straight to the point.
"It is indeed! Only the fantastic price of 250 Bits!" He proclaimed.
I dropped the bag in front of him and I saw the greed in his eyes widen.
"Why thank you very much good sirs, here is the deed and the key. Enjoy your new home!" Stinking Rich said, trotting off with the bag of Bits in his mouth.
"Well, we have a place to stay now. Let's head back to the inn to get the rest of the lads." I said to Damon as we walked away from our newly purchased property.
We headed back to the inn to see how Ollie and Ryan got on. We walked inside to see Ollie and Ryan sat around in the lounge downstairs.
"Evening lads! How did we get on in the end?" I asked them both.
"I delivered the books to Spike, who was in the Library. There was no sign of Twilight though." Ollie said.
"Well, at least the books were returned." I mumbled.
I looked over to Ryan to was trying to achieve flight in the corner. I could tell that he never managed to make it to Cloudsdale.
"Mario, how did you get the book back to Rainbow? Because it kinda looks like you haven't managed to get the hang of flight yet." I asked Ryan.
"I was trying my hardest to fly in a field below Cloudsdale but I just was not getting the hang of it. But as I tried to find another alternative, I saw Derpy Hooves as the Delivery Mare. So I rushed over, gave her the book and told her to get it straight to Rainbow Dash. She nodded at me and flew off, so I suppose it got there alright." Ryan replied, slightly sheepish.
"It's alright mate, it looks like we got it sorted. Anyway, me and Damon have good news for you lads!" I announced.
"Me and Damon have managed to make a bit of money, so I have bought us a cottage on the outskirts of town!" I shouted and the other lads shouted in joy.
"Let's go then guys! Let's get comfortable!" Ollie shouted, eager to get out the door.
"Don't anypony go anywhere!" The book keeper shouted as she entered the inn.
"Ahh! Good evening! We have completed the jobs you requested off us as we agreed. We all hope you are happy with the result." Ryan said pleasantly to the book keeper.
"I am extremely pleased! In return for your gratitude, here is 20 Bits for you four to share between yourselves. I do hope you enjoy. Thank you again! And before you leave, the name is Rose. Rose Quill to be precise, but just call me Rose." Rose said to us, handing us the small bag of Bits.
We all thanked her, but before we could leave, she shut the door. My mood instantly changed. A slight feeling of worry struck me.
"Now, I have one thing to say to you new ponies in town. I have heard you guys creating names for yourselves, as you call each other different names. The two Pegasi cannot fly and the Unicorn cannot use his magic. You lot look very inexperienced. All four of you don't even have Cutie Marks." Rose said sternly.
A cold rush was sent down my spine and I was sweating. I looked at all of our flanks, and she was right. Blank Flanks. Nothing. Four adult ponies with no cutie marks must be quite unnerving.
"How long have you known about this?" I stammered, a little shaken.
"I noticed no cutie marks the other night. I heard you this morning as I took care of your friends eyes and I saw this morning that half of you don't fly or use magic. So, where are you from? Are you imposters? Changelings?" She said with a stern tone.
Things were going bad to worse.
"We are from a different land." Damon muttered, trying not to give us away too much.
"A different land? Outside of Equestria?" She questioned.
"Yeah, way outside of Equestria. We are very new to everything here and we are not up to anything, we are just trying to fit in like everypony else." I told Rose.
Rose was not impressed. At all.
"We promise that no-one will be hurt because of us." We all told her.
We stumbled into this world by mistake and like it or not, we had to try and find a way home and not get ourselves into trouble.
"If I find out that people start getting hurt because of you four... Celestia will be on you like a bag of bricks. I promise you that." Rose told us as she reopened the door.
After that confrontation, I felt like I was going to shit a brick.
I took our new keys, opened the door to a half furnished cottage. There was four bedrooms, two bathrooms, a lounge and a kitchen. There also was two beds, so at least nopony was sleeping on the floor. Me and Ryan crashed into a bed as Damon and Ollie got into another.
There was no light to turn out so I just tried to head off into a natural sleep.
Knowledge is Power
I woke up to the sound of that damn rooster again. I was strangely close to Ryan, which caused me to back away rather quickly and to only fall on the hard, unfurnished wooden floor. The sound of my body slamming the floor, despite my efforts to correct myself, thundered through the empty bedroom.
"Ow, for fuck sake." I muttered quietly, as I tried to ignore my rude awakening.
I stood up and took a deep breath. I walked out of the bedroom and stood in the landing. Opposite from mine and Ryan's room was Ollie and Damon's room. I heard the snoring coming from the room, which was quite loud. I felt sorry for the other that had to put up with that the entire night. I continued to try and sneak my way downstairs, to only find out it had no effect on these wooden steps. I walked to the kitchen to realise that I had no means of making my own coffee. We had no electricity, no kettle or even coffee supplies. I knew I needed a damn coffee if I was to survive in this world. I looked over to the corner to see our small bag of bits given to us by Rose last night. I decide to take out two bits and head out the door to find the closest thing to a cafe. I shut the door behind me and walked into town.
Ponyville was a short 5 minute walk away, due to the cottage being on the outskirts. I walked along the well trodden dirt path leading into the centre of Ponyville. I gazed at my surroundings as I pass through, soaking in the atmosphere and losing myself in the peaceful vibe this town gave off. I completely lost track of time as I casually walked around, but I eventually found something that slightly resembled a cafe. I entered the small building and I was greeted with a very familiar smell. Strong coffee. Success. I walked up to the counter and there was a lime green unicorn mare with a light brown mane, that was long and thick. She was stood in a white apron, waiting to serve a customer.
"Good morning, how are you?" I asked politely with a gentle smile.
"Good morning! I am doing well, I hope you are feeling well! Can I get you anything this morning?" She replied with a small, but ever so satisfying smile. I was probably the politest customer she had served all day. I really did feel sorry for people or ponies that worked in Retail.
"Could I have the strongest coffee available please?" I asked her.
"You may, that'll be two bits please! She said, holding out her arm for the bits.
I reached round into my homemade bag, slung across my flank and fumbled to try and get the two bits I had placed in there. I finally managed to get them and promptly gave them to the pony behind the counter. She trotted off and went about making my strong coffee. As she did so, I turned around to observe the ponies that were in the coffee shop. It was shockingly similar to what you would expect on Earth. One stallion and one mare sat facing each other on a small table or two or more mares gathered around a larger table, gossiping and giggling. I was too lost in looking around again that the unicorn serving me was trying for my attention to give me my, now ready, coffee.
"Thank you very much." I said with a smile and picked the cup up with my hoof.
It was a strange sensation, not having fingers, but I supposed that I would get used to it eventually. I now had to find a table and sit down. On three legs. Shit, should have thought that one though. I paced the journey in my head to the nearest empty table and just went for it. I stumbled a few times, making the table of mares giggle slightly as I walked funny to my table. Once I placed my coffee down, I got myself comfortable and glazed my eyes over the open window I was staring out of. The town was starting to fill with life. I sipped on my mildly hot and very strong coffee and it reminded me of Earth. Perhaps a bit too much. I looked down at myself.
Was I ever to return? Could we find a way back? What if we are stuck in this world forever?
I stopped.
I needed to stop being nostalgic and concentrate on what is happening now. And at that moment, I felt the most relaxed I had felt in a while.
I was snapped out of my daze by a familiar pair of sky blue hooves clapping together near my ears and I nearly jumped out of my skin. Ollie proceeded to laugh hard in the middle of the cafe, drawing a little attention, but if didn't care.
"Oh fuck sake Star, why scare the shit outta me for?" I chuckled, steadying my heart rate.
"Because it is obviously funny dude! Anyway man, how are you getting on?" He asked me.
"Not too bad, gotten used to the body. Now just getting used to the people, and the way of life here. No internet, no Playstation, I haven't even got my personal collection of music now. That is driving me mad most of all." I muttered, as I really wanted my headphones and my iPod back.
"Yeah man, there is no lager, no football, no nothing! A little bit boring if you ask me!" He replied.
There was things on Earth we clearly took for granted every day. Smartphones, the Internet, technological ways. All gone. I had noticed slight advancements like electrical lights, cranes and even gyroscopic flying machines. But nothing connected on a massive scale or massive technological importance. I bet they have not even set foot off this planet, although they clearly had the capability with all this magic and knowledge of sciences. That was a thought, how much did they really know? I bet the best place to find out was a library. From the show, Ponyville's library was big, but nowhere near as big as The Canterlot Library. I bet if I wanted to find out the advancements, I would start there. I could also pick up some books for the lads so they can get to grips with their wings and unicorn magic.
"Star, I reckon we should go to the capitol, Canterlot. The library there would hold some books that could give us a great insight into how to fit in, how to use magic, learn flight and catch up on how far Equestria has gotten." I suggested, as Ollie swigged at his own coffee he ordered prior to jumpscaring me.
"Mmm." He hummed, swallowing his last gulp of his coffee.
"Great idea man, I cannot wait to start using this badboy!" Ollie said, looking at his horn that was completely devoid of magic.
"Do you think we should bring the rest of the lads with us?" I asked, as I swirled the dregs of my coffee around the bottom of my cardboard cup.
"Yeah, it'll be quite a important thing for us all really. If we learn this, we could get to grips with this world more and, possibly, even earn our cutie marks." Ollie replied.
I finished my coffee and we both left the cafe. We walked straight back to our cottage and let ourselves in. Damon and Ryan were arguing about who was the best pony, which was a common argument where we came from.
"Mate, Applejack is best!" Damon boasted.
"Naw, it's all about Rainbow! She is awesome!" Ryan shouted back.
"Easy girls, we can argue which one you want to mate with later, but I have got a plan for us today, we can-" I shouted to them both from the front door until I was interrupted by Damon.
"No one said anything about mating dude!" Damon retaliated, getting defensive.
"How about you suck my caw-cock!" Ryan joked to Damon.
"Guys! For fuck sake!" I chuckled.
"Alright fine, what you got for us?" Ryan asked with a serious face, which he couldn't hold.
"I was thinking that we need to learn about ourselves if we are to fit in a lot more, so why don't we take a train to Canterlot and check out the library?" I said.
"Sounds like a good idea actually dude! I can finally learn how to fly!" Damon shouted, as he flapped his wings with hardly any results.
"I hope there are magic books there, I need to practice with my horn. Oh guys, I found out I can do this earlier, check this out!" Ollie shouted.
He closed his eyes and started to strain. After about 30 seconds of straining and effort grunts, his horn started to glow that had a dark blue hue with sparkles. Every so often, a spark of electricity would arc around his horn, causing him to slightly wince. He finally let go and released himself. It looked like he used a lot of concentration just to light his horn up, whereas I could remember that Twilight to activate The Elements and other high power magic.
"That is progress at least dude!" Ryan said as Ollie rested himself.
"I gotta say... That magic hue looked similar to Luna's. And she's a princess!" Damon told us all.
He was quite right. I could remember from the show that Luna's magical hue was a dark blue. And she was capable of some crazy shit.
"Right then guys, grab the bag of bits and let's check out that library." I said as I walked out the door.
Damon grabbed the bag of bits and everyone followed. We walked for about 5 minutes, as our cottage was on the outskirts of town and we quickly ended up at the train station. Ryan walked off with the bag of bits towards the ticket box and bought 4 return tickets which was 12 bits total. After he returned with the tickets and a considerably less heavy bits bag, we boarded the train to Canterlot.
The walked through the carriages and ended up in a half packed carriage with some seats available. All four of us took a seat facing each other and waited for the train to depart. We had no idea how long this journey was going to take us.
"I don't know about you guys, but I am finding technology and portal books. Try and find us a way home." I said, breaking the ice since we got on the train.
"Me and Barrel are going to find something to help us with flying. We are absolutely useless right now, so we need to polish up on our skills." Ryan said, replying to me.
"Yeah, I'm gonna look for magicism and spell casting books. I cannot wait to see how much I can use this badboy!" Ollie added on the end.
He was loving the fact that he was a unicorn, and he hasn't done a single bit of magic yet. Apart from the fancy light show earlier on. I was more interested by the electricity that arced and cackled around his horn. I just started to ponder to myself and looked out the window and watched the world go by. That was the sort of time where I wanted to have my music, and just dream of various scenarios. I really did miss the thumping beat and bass of a hardcore drumstep track to go crazy with. I continued to stare out the window until Canterlot Castle came into view.
"Almost there man." Damon said mostly to himself.
"Lets grab this universe by the horn. Pun intended" I laughed to the other guys.
"In all seriousness though, let's show Equestria what we are made of." Ryan said to all of us.
The train slowly grounded to a halt and a voice over a tannoy announced that this was the last stop; Royal Canterlot Station. We all got off the train and what we were met with was breathtaking views of Canterlot and all it's surroundings, not including the massive castle that sat distantly above the bustling Capitol. I was confounded for words.
"Wha... Where do we even start?" I murmured aloud.
"It looks like a map kiosk over there, let's go see if that can help us." Ollie replied, pointing his hoof in the general of a stand in the distance.
We all approached the stand to see 'Free Maps!' plastered all over it.
"Easy enough." I picked up the map with my hoof and fully folded it out.
It showed a extremely detailed layout of the entire expanse that is Canterlot.
"There, look." Ryan pointed with his hoof.
"We are here, we need to get to the base of the Castle by walking this way, and then that way." He explained to us as he dragged his hoof along narrow passageways and roads leading to Canterlot Castle.
"Awesome, let's find that library!" I said as I packed the fold-up map into my improvised sling-bag and we walked the journey Ryan figured out for us.
We saw many posh things on the way up to the library entrance.
Too bad us four were extremely crude...
We finally turned a corner to see a huge sign saying 'Canterlot Royal Library'.
Fuckin' found it.
"Result! Now, let's get them books!" I shouted as we walked inside.
I had seen large libraries before, but this one took the cake. It was massive.
"I'm looking for portal and technological books, so if anyone wants to join me, go ahead. If not, you all know what you are looking for?" The other three lads hummed and said yes.
"Meet back here in 2 hours." I said as I walked off towards the 'Magical Transportation' sections.
After an hour of heavy scanning and reading,
I found three books;
'Micro-Technology and You'
'The Art of Dimensional Bending'
and
'The A-Z Guide to Equestrian Physics'
I really did hope that these books could help us in becoming better people, fitting in and like Ollie said earlier, earning those all important cutie marks.
As I walked to our meet-up spot, I saw a familiar three ponies sat a table away from me, arguing over a book.
"It's my turn with the book! Ah feel the closest to gettin' mine!" One shouted.
"No Applebloom, it's my turn now! Scootaloo, give me the book back! I can tell it is almost here!" Another shouts back.
"No way guys, I am much closer than both of you! I deserve to use the rest of the book first!" The third retaliates.
The Cutie Mark Crusaders.
In a weird kind of way, we were in the same type of boat they were in, just trying to find their place in Equestria. I started contently at the book being thrown around to figure out what it was called.
'Cutie Mark Catching: A Magical Guide'
And there is no surprise there. I release my stare and start looking into my first book until a book hits me straight across the face, dumbfounding me and making me land face first on the floor. I stand up to see Damon, Ryan and Ollie coming back, which they are able to keep their laughter down to a minimum level. Thing was, the book that hit me was being levitated by dark blue magic. I looked at Ollie, who has already mastered minor telekinesis by this point. Fast learner it seemed.
"How the... What... Already? Fucking telekinesis already!?" I asked, in a loud whisper, as it was a library after all.
"Yeah! This book instantly taught me how! I have even got another book on more difficult spells and a book on strategy." Ollie boasted with glee.
Damon proceeded to slam his on the desk.
"I got more practical books. One for me and Mario on how to fly, a book on mouth-writing and one on influential figures within Equestrian history that magically updates itself!"
That was quite impressive. I turned to Ryan, which he lays his chosen books on the table.
"A book on solar theory and space, another on house furnishing and my final one is cooking techniques. So I can land a job cooking of something."
"We all did really well then, didn't we? Let's not bother fucking around for an hour, let's get home and practice these books." I whispered.
We all grabbed our things and walked back outside to the train station awaiting us. We boarded the next train back and instead of striking up a chat about small things, we submerged ourselves in our books. We were going to learn a lot of things from this.
Quest Planning & Cake
It was our tenth day within this universe. And things were going surprisingly well. I'd hate to see how somebody in human form could cope with being summoned here without seeing no more than Season One of the series. But thankfully, we had watched four of them.
It has been 7 days since we returned from the library, and we have been studying relentlessly, Damon and Ryan only leaving the house to go and work. Ollie has been practising like mad ever since he got back, challenging himself with more difficult spells every time. He's getting more powerful as time goes on. Damon and Ryan are actually able to fly now. All they need is experience so that they can be more agile in the air. As for me, I have been working with the recycling plant down the road. They pay me so that I create inventions for us and them. I have almost finished scanning my 'micro-technology' book so once I finish that, I will be able to try electronics, such as computers, fabrication and wearable technology for the average pony.
Although what has still stumped me is that all four of us still don't have any sign of a cutie mark. I managed to get hold of that book I have mentioned The Cutie Mark Crusaders were trying to use. But they clearly had a bit of trouble with it, so I have borrowed it instead. And since we are four adult ponies with no cutie marks, they demanded that we become Cutie Mark Crusaders along with them. I tried telling them that we were too old but it was no hope. Besides, seeing their cute faces go all sad if we rejected them would have been enough to crush my heart. So we agreed to join them. The three of them come round occasionally as well, which was a 'mandatory rule'.
I will be fairly honest, I have been focusing most of my research on the discovery of our cutie marks, so that it looks a little less awkward. During observation, I have come to some guesstimates about where each of our talents lie.
Through personal experience, I have mastered technology development on a small scale for now, but I achieved it in little under 5 days. Which I believe is remarkably quick. So I believe my mark's affinity lie along the line of technology. But cutie marks seem to appear after some sort of significant event that happens to that individual. Or so the book tells me. So my estimate is that I have to complete a large project, and use it effectively.
I have studied Damon closely and shadowed him a little and I have noticed he has very high accuracy and is particularly ingenious towards creating projectiles. He built a functioning crossbow out of forest materials the other day, which was only sticks, vines and sharpened twigs. So I believe his affinity lies along the fabrication of projectile weapons and firearms. Perhaps he needs to make his first real firearm and take a faithful shot?
Ryan has been on his wings more than his hooves, similar to Rainbow Dash. But I don't believe that it lies with speed. On my few times of me watching his gradual performances in the sky, I have noticed some traits that are unique to Ryan. One day, Damon and Ryan challenged each other to a race and they were neck and neck for nearly the entire race. But close by, there was Pegasi that was creating artificial tornadoes that were directly in the path of Damon and Ryan. I saw Damon's speed slow to nearly a stop, as he was going no faster than a hovering speed. Ryan however, did not slow down the slightest bit. There was no strain pushing through the tornadoes, nor did he avoid them. It just seemed that they did not affect him in anyway. The other thing was the other day, it was remarkably hot in Ponyville and most of us were sweating all day and were quite dehydrated. Some Pegasi had to stop flying and rest. But Ryan, oddly, seemed to work faster. He was not sweating, nor complaining about the immense sunlight coming from the freak heatwave. So I believe that he has a very high tolerance to hot temperatures and can resist turbulence extremely well. So I think exploration in unique areas will be Ryan's best bet.
And as for Ollie, I have noticed that sometimes he is not able to do a spell correctly. After a few minutes at being at his desk with a pencil, he comes back again and tries a new way of doing the spell, which either works first time, or he is simply not powerful enough yet. He even has a list of types of spells that he crosses off every time he casts one of them. He also plays chess with some of the older ponies in clubs. He had a nearly perfect record, apart from when he knocked his king over on his first game. I can give him that. He has also created techniques for us studying our books and that he said that these ways of doing them "is the most efficient and effective way". And quite surprisingly, he was right. Damon and Ryan completed their flying book, we have all done the mouth-writing book and I have nearly completed the huge book of Micro-Technology. So I think that he is a wizard prodigy and a master strategist. Perhaps he needs to complete a certain spell and have a great victory or success?
I need to come up with a way of us all earning our marks. And if possible, at the same time. If not the same time, in close proximity to each other. A Cutie Mark Quest if you will.
So in the end, I need to complete and test a large project, Damon needs to construct a firearm and take a faithful shot, find somewhere unique for Ryan to explore and get Ollie to cast a certain spell to lead him to a substantial victory or success.
I step down from my research desk that I constructed and gave my writing a rest. As I went to sit down on the couch in the living room, there was a few small knocks on the door. I have a feeling who that is.
I walk over to the door and peep through the tiny glass viewer. Three little fillies are stood outside my door. The Crusaders.
"Give me a moment!" I say through the wooden door as I unlock the two locks and swing the door wide open.
"Goooood morning girls!" I say to the three Crusaders as they walk in.
"Morning Circuit!" All three say in unison.
"Who's at the door?" I hear Ollie shout from his desk in the other room.
"Our fellow Crusaders! Coming to sit with us Star?" I shout back.
"Yeah man, just give me five minutes!" Ollie replied.
"So, how are my fellow Crusaders today? You guys make any progress?" I said as I walked over to my couch and slumped into it.
"No, we didn't get anythin' today." Applebloom replied back as she took a seat, giving a disapproved face.
"Well, what did you try? We still need to get you a list of things to try, so that you don't lose count on where you are and start repeating ones you have done once already." I replied back, trying to cheer the three up.
"We tried knitting, kayaking and even rock climbing. But still no luck." Scootaloo murmured.
"What about you? What have you and the other Crusaders tried?" Sweetie Belle asked, looking at me with hope.
"We haven't tried anything exactly, but I have a feeling of what we need to try.." I vaguely explain, as I want the surprise to be worth it.
"What are ya gon' try? Will it be all the same thing?" Applebloom questioned.
All three of them looked like they were about to burst with excitement.
"I'm gonna try and organise something... A Cutie Mark Quest or something along those lines.." I replied, bundling my own thoughts into a plan of action.
The little fillies almost exploded in excitement. Before they were able to squee about what I was planning, Ollie stepped into the room.
"Morning girls. Hey Circuit. How are you three doing this morning?" Ollie asked the fillies as he also sat down on the couch.
"Amazing! Circuit was about to tell us how you guys are getting your Cutie Marks!" Scootaloo shouted before any other pony could get a single word in.
"Oh really? And how does he plan to do that?" Ollie asked rhetorically, as he slowly pans his head to look right at me.
"Hey man, it was a idea. Nothing has been drawn up or anything... At least not yet. Unless you want me to work on something now?" I asked, because I could see that Ollie was extremely curious and The Crusaders wanted to see how we would get our Marks in the end.
"Go ahead if the thought and motivation is there dude! I can always take The Crusaders out for lunch while you work on it?" Ollie replied.
"Sure, I'll get on it and see what I can do. Bye girls! Have fun and good luck crusading!" I said as I left the room to return to my desk.
I slumped to my desk, pulled a new sheet of paper out and picked up my pencil. I pondered for a little while, thinking of a large project until I had that strange feeling again, like when I constructed the mechanical plough for Applejack quite a few days back. I just started drawing. I had no idea what it was. My mind was just telling me to do it. I did it previously and I ended up with a never-before-seen prototype and 250 Bits that landed me buying this place. So I decided to just keep going and not stop myself.
After about 30 minutes, my mind released me from my trance and I dropped my pen. I had drawn exact blueprints to some sort of vehicle. Looked like a spaceship. After I stared at intently, I realised that it appearance was very similar to a Puddle Jumper, which was a small spaceship from a TV series back on Earth.
A Puddle Jumper was capable of holding 9 persons at a time, it was air tight so that space exploration was possible, could activate space portals from a distance, had a very accurate weapons system, had cloaking abilities and could fly at 1.3x the speed of sound.
Was my mind seriously doing this to me? It wanted me to build a Puddle Jumper? Within the universe of My Little Pony? That was going to be a hard task. But after I flipped the page, my mind did the trance on me again and I started to write out diameters, measurements, materials needed and certain formulae to accompany the theory that the Puddle Jumper needed. I needed ship parts, a shell constructed, a energy weapon built, a electrical interface to control it, a efficient propulsion system, energy capable of powering it all and lastly, spacesuits.
That was it. It all clicked in my head. This was the project. This was the Cutie Mark Quest. Ryan could explore orbit, Damon could protect him from foreign bodies in space with a powerful enough firearm and Ollie could cast a shield spell that would encase the ship so we sustained no damage and if we explored it, returned with samples from orbit and landed safely, that would be completion of a large project from me. I looked at my list, and made priorities. It was time to start this Quest.
Piece of cake.
"CAKE!?" Pinkie Pie screamed through my small window.
"GAAAAH!" I shouted as I fell off my chair, scared half to death.
What was with this universe and all this fucking jumpscare bullshit?
"Oh, hehe! I didn't mean to get you! I just heard you talking about cakes and I absolutely love cakes! I make cupcakes all the time! I even live in a ginger bread house! I just really want some cake right now, since cake is so spongy and delicious and-" Pinkie was just firing out sentence after sentence and was struggling to breathe. She had nearly gone pink to purple.
"I got the idea Pinkie!" I interrupted her for two reasons. One, I could feel a headache coming on and two, she would have died from asphyxiation.
"Okie dokie lo- Hey! You know my name! But I don't know yours! How does that make sense? Did you come through a portal from a strange and dark dimension and you were turned into ponies by some kind of magic and now you are desperately trying to find a way home?" Pinkie said, even faster than the last sentence, accompanied by a squee and a ear-to-ear smile afterwards.
"No Pinkie, but thank you for asking. I do not mean to sound rude, but can you do a welcome party another time? I have a lot of work to unfortunately." I said, lying through my teeth. I could not let Pinkie know that, somehow, she was spot on. That would not end well. We all wanted our secret to remain a secret for as long as possible.
"Okie dokie lokie! Come on Gummy, let's go find Princess Twilight!" She cheered as she turned around and bounced away from my window.
Princess Twilight? She does exist in this universe. I am not saying she shouldn't be here, but that I am not assuming particular ponies are here without hearing or seeing proof myself. And that was one of them. And Princess? We must be in the timezone of Season Four, as she achieved Princess status in the finale of Season Three. Anyway, enough pondering about other ponies, I needed to start this Quest, and fast.
First things first; Spacesuits.
The Thirst For Alcohol
I thought of many 'get-rich-quick' schemes, but all of them were looking bleak. None of them would have succeeded, and not to mention any repercussions I would have had to endure afterward.
I pondered about my options.
Building Excalibur was not going to be easy, or cheap for that matter. And yeah, I called my puddle jumper Excalibur. At least I didn't call it Reginald or something stupid like that...
I could always try and do some spivers on the side and get some Bits that way. That does actually sound best. Although illegal, considering that I think all ponies paid some sort of tax, or at least some percentage of their income goes to funding whatever firm or business they worked for. How else could Celestia live in a giant castle in Canterlot?
But then, if they do not know, how could they prosecute me? By the time they try and investigate me, I will have laundered it by purchasing items necessary for Excalibur's construction.
That was it then.
If any other ponies needed electrical jobs or needed a invention on the side, I was the pony to contact. Better keep it on the down-low though. By the time I had finished scratching up a shopping list, which hangs in my project room, Ryan and Damon returned from work.
"Afternoon, fuckers." I shouted from my project room.
I knew that I would get either a comeback, or a sneering remark.
"You gonna stop jacking off or come down and see us? I want a sandwich!" Ryan yelled back.
I chuckled. I dropped all my stuff onto my table and trotted down the stairs to see Damon slouched all over our couch. He looked exhausted.
"Wow, you look like you had a long day. Boyfriend not let you out early?" I joked to him, knowing full well that he had been working for Applejack the entire day.
"If I had fingers... I would be... Giving you... The finger right now..." He muttered between gasps.
Applejack sure pushed him hard today. But then I wondered where Ryan has walked off to. I walked into the kitchen and saw him where I usually saw him. In the damn fridge.
"You paying for that, bitch?" I taunt him, making him turn around.
"Oh piss off man, I feel like shit today." He replied.
"Sorry I hit a nerve. Just come and sit down when you are feeling better?" I contented to him.
We always did share banter. But it really was painful to see when you got on somebody's nerves by doing so. I walked back into the living room where Damon had been joined by Ollie and were just guessing what their Cutie Marks might be.
"I hope mine is something to do with Yugi!" Ollie squeed. He really did love his Yu-Gi-Oh.
"Mate, mine may be related to apples, the point that Applejack keeps pushing me to." Damon replied.
"Loving your job then buddy?" I joked as I sat opposite them.
"Not really. It's becoming a piss-take. I am seriously asking about overtime rates tomorrow. I want better pay if I am busting my pony ass like this." Damon replied, getting more frustrated.
"Yeah man. If you are not satisfied with it, have a word with Applejack about it." I replied, trying to give him the best advice I could.
"Mario, you coming in here? I got something to tell you guys, and I'd prefer if you were in here and not sticking carrots up your arse." I shouted to the kitchen.
Ryan returned with a crudely made coffee and took a seat beside me.
"What's so important then?" Ryan asked bluntly.
He was not having a good day. Hopefully what I was about to tell him was going to make his day.
Hopefully.
"Lads, I know we have gotten nowhere with our Cutie Mark situation, and it is fucking annoying. But ever since we got back from that library, I have watched each of us and took notes. Mostly about how good Mario's ass looks in the air." I joked as I said the last section.
I jokingly click my tongue at him and raised my brow in a sexual way. That put a smile on his face.
"But for real, I have watched all of us, and I have drawn us up some plans. Of what our Cutie Marks could be, and how we get hold of them."I said as I walked over to my project desk, picked up our portfolios of all four of us and gave them out to each pony appropriately.
"I know they are crude descriptions, don't rip my dick off. But I honestly think that this is what we are destined for!"
I told them as I let them skim through my evaluations of them and waited in silence for one of them to respond, as I had already memorised mine.
"Sooooo, basically I can fly through anything? Flames, tornadoes, storms and Hell itself?" Ryan questioned, giving me a look of uncertainty.
"At least, that's what I think you can do. I've only seen you go through tornadoes and storms. And you worked like a badass when we had that heat wave." I smirked back to him.
"Hmm. Sound logic there." He quipped as he returned to reading his portfolio.
"How can I get a Cutie Mark in guns? They haven't even been invented over here." Damon said, more sceptical than Ryan.
"I really don't know man. But I have a feeling that you'll come into it. You can build a crossbow outta cow shit for god's sake." I returned back, trying to make my point clear.
"Alright, say all of these assumptions are true. How do we go about earning them? There isn't exactly may 'victory opportunities' around here, is there?" Ollie said as he shared his two cents.
Things were not looking good. They didn't really believe me, and they don't think that we can succeed in getting our Marks.
"You guys may think I am crazy. But you know those weird trances that helped me build that automated plough that got us this place? I had another earlier, as Ollie and The Crusaders wanted me to try and figure something out. And here's what came out of it." I told them as I walked over to my desk and grabbed the blueprints and the plan of action.
"We build our ship; The Excalibur. We fly into orbit, Mario explores using his high resistance, Damon will protect him from external debris with a energy or projectile weapon that we shall help him build, and finally Ollie shall use his powerful magic abilities to shield the ship. Unless you want a micro-meteorite in the ass." I explained to them.
They just sat there.
Complete silence.
The plainest facial expressions I have ever seen.
If there was a insane asylum in Ponyville, I'm sure the guys in white coats will be coming in any minute to drag me away and drug me up. Ryan then just burst into laughter. Not casual laughter. Hysterics. Tears in the eyes and everything. The rest of us just stared at him until he finished.
"Did I miss the punch line?" I say to Ryan, my voice full of sarcasm.
"You seriously expect me to believe, that we are going to build a spaceship, fly away, come back and we'll have Cutie Marks? Be real man, for fuck sake." Ryan snapped.
"I'm dead serious man. I have even drawn up materials needed and the templates required. I have even calculated how much this project will cost us." I replied.
"How much then?" Damon questioned immediately after I spoke.
I hesitated. It was a lot of money.
"Seven thousand Bits." I muttered.
Ryan proceeded to spit-take his coffee all over the living room.
"How much!?" Ryan shouted, coffee still dripping from his mouth.
"That is a lot of fucking money man. Even for us here." Damon replied to me.
"I can try and do some spivers to gain a bit of money. Perhaps you two can work a bit of overtime? And even maybe, Ollie can find a fucking job..." I said to them.
"Spivers? What are they?" Damon asked.
"Odd jobs. private jobs. 'Cash in hand' if you know what I mean." I said discreetly, hoping to get the reference that back on Earth, undeclared income is illegal. It was in the UK anyways.
"Huh. Alright then. I'm not sure if I will succeed in getting overtime from AJ, but I will try." Damon said.
"You up for it then man?" I asked Damon, as he was the only one that talking to me directly.
"We haven't got anything else that we can achieve in the meantime." Damon said, reluctantly.
I looked over at Ollie and Ryan, who looked like I asked the impossible of them.
"Come on guys. We can do this if we put our heads together. We'll look fucking good with a Cutie Mark." I said.
I needed to convince them. If they refused, we would be stuck. No Cutie Mark, no achievements, and a much slimmer chance of us finding a way home.
"Alright, I'll help." Ollie said, plainly.
I suppose they don't really have a choice.
"Mario? I know you're in a bad mood, but come on. It's fucking orbit. Nearly outer space." I said as I faced Ryan.
He smirked at that. I knew we both loved the thought of space exploration.
"Space does sound awesome. Let's do this." Ryan said, with a determined face.
"First though, money. We have a high target to reach if we want this to succeed." I said, pointing to the schematics on the coffee table.
We all looked at the materials needed.
"A lot of this shit has not even been invented or discovered yet." Ollie said.
"We can always go looking for what hasn't been discovered. And we have 4 humans in the bodies of ponies. I'm pretty sure we have a good idea of how things are supposed to look." I replied, assuring Ollie and the other Lads.
"I'll try and find a job somewhere then. Guess I'll just go looking around." Ollie replied.
"It sounds like we have got that sorted then. We'll start saving from tomorrow. But right now, shall we try and find the closest thing to a bar?" I smirked, as we were long overdue for a alcoholic drink of some sort.
We all showered, freshened up, and all four of us headed out.
We started in the middle of Ponyville and all we saw was Sugarcube Corner and Town Hall. Both without a single drop of booze. It really was not looking good. After an hour of walking around without any sign of any bar, we stopped looking. We decided to rest and sat down on a patch of grass near to the Library Tree.
"This is shit man! All I wanted was a fucking cider!" Damon shouted, kicking the ground.
"We all did man. I kinda wanted to get slaughtered, but looks like that isn't a option anymore." Ollie replied.
"If there is such thing as booze here, it is nowhere to be seen in Ponyville. I bet Canterlot has a few bars or at least some sort of formal thing. And I think the only way to get some decent cider is from Apple Family during the Cider Festival." I said, as I looked around Ponyville for a bar for the final time.
No dice. I was quite pissed off.
"Fuck this, let's head home." Ryan said as he got up and started to walk home.
"Aww come on babe, come and enjoy the stars. If you're lucky, you can get a snog." I joked.
Ryan chuckled to himself, and came and sat back down.
"Agh, I can't seem to get comfy." Ryan mumbled as he tried to get comfortable.
"I know, sitting in these bodies are fucking shit." Damon replied, as he was still stood up.
"Then that's why we get The Cutie Mark Quest done as soon as possible, and get home." I added.
"Anyway, I got more sorting machinery to construct by tomorrow, so I should get home." I told the Lads, as I got up to go home.
They all said goodbye and good luck of all sorts. I began the lone walk back to our house.
10 minutes later, I got home and unlocked the door. I looked behind the door to see a letter had been pushed underneath. I picked it up and opened it. It was quite thick so I was surprised that it got through the crack under the door. I read the letter it contained:
"Dear Circuit Boost,
Thank you for your continued support in advancing our projects.
You are a great asset in our company.
We look forward to do more business with you soon.
Yours sincerely,
Ponyville Recycling Co."
I opened the rest of the envelope and saw notes. Currency notes. I picked one up and it had 100 Bits written on it with what looked like Luna's head on the front. I counted how many I had and the total was ten.
One thousand Bits.
I was ecstatic, as this was a long awaited payment.
We were one seventh of the way complete.
Old Habits Die Hard
So here it was. I was counting the days ever since we entered this universe. We entered on the 7th of December, 2016. It has been exactly 24 days since then. So through simple maths, it means it must be the 31st of December. New Years Eve.
But it was so strange. Well, for me anyway.
Traditionally, September through to February are the Winter months in England. And December was always icy and bitterly cold. But here in Equestria, it was hot. Very hot and humid. Barrel said this felt normal to him as he lived in Australia and it was always Summer at this time of year. But not me.
I am not complaining in the slightest though. I love the heat, the summer breeze, the barbecues, the beers and late night camping...
Oh shit, I just got all nostalgic again.
I got up from my seat on the couch and walked over to the window. I could clearly see the clock tower from where I was stood and it read 12:35pm. Was it too late to organise some sort of gathering for us four?
No, I have plenty of time. I would just need to get hold of some food, a fair amount of cider and four deck chairs. A barbecue without the barbecue if you will.
I was determined to keep tradition with humanity. New Years Day was to be celebrated, whether the pony folk liked it or not.
I grabbed 100 Bits from the bank of 3,450 Bits we had saved so far for the CMQ and headed out the door. The CMQ was coming along swimmingly, just funds were a bit dry at the moment.
I took a calm and long walk down to Sweet Apple Acres, passing by many friendly ponies on the way. Many smiled, some waved and a select few even spoke to me for a few moments before I carried on my way. 10 minutes later, ended up at the gate. I stared into the vast fields that The Apple Family had accumulated over the years. Every single one of those apples needed bucking. And there must have been thousands. I looked into the closer fields, used for farming. I could see Smoking Barrel in one of the fields with one of the prototype ploughs that I constructed a few weeks ago. And he had picked up some major speed.
I continued to walk past, towards the huge red barn that stood before me. I could see Granny Smith on a small rocking chair and Applebloom doing some small chores in front of the barn. I decided that asking Applebloom where her sister was, would be the best bet. I had a little under 12 hours but I needed to get as much notice to Applejack as soon as possible.
"Hey Applebloom!" I shouted over to her from quite a few metres away.
"Circuit!" As shouted back, dropping her dusting broom and began running at me, bringing a tackle hug with her.
I braced myself for the impending impact, as well as the few rolls that comes from the momentum. As I predicted, she threw herself at me and hugged me tight, but the momentum she was carrying pulled me with her and she proceeded to hold on. We did three rolls before we came to a dusty stop.
"How is my fellow Crusader?" I asked her as I hugged her back, bopping her on the head a few times with my free hoof.
"Ah'm doin' swell! How 'bout ya'll?" She replied cheerily.
"I'm good, thank you. Say, sorry to bother you, but do you know whereabouts your sister is? I have something quite important to ask her." I quipped as I got up and dusted myself off from the tackle hug.
"Naw, ah don't. Perhaps she is buckin' apples in the North Farm?" She said as she scratched her head and looked around.
"Alright, I'll check there. Thanks Applebloom." I said as I ruffled her mane and walked in the direction of the North Farm.
Once I arrived at the large sign that indicated "North Farm", I scoured the nearby trees in sign of bucking trees or Applejack's colours. After 5 minutes of walking through the forest that became surprisingly thick, I heard a distant thunking. I decided to head in that direction, because if it was Big Mac, I could ask him for directions to her sister. And if it was Applejack herself, I can ask her the questions I need to.
Unfortunately, it was the former. Big Mac was bucking trees with immense strength and was clearing trees in a matter of seconds. I walked towards him as he finished a tree.
"Afternoon Big Mac, you doing alright?" I asked him as he turned his attention towards me.
"Eeyup." He replied. As usual.
"Good, I'm glad. I hope you don't mind me asking, but do you know where Applejack is? I have some work to discuss and I thought AJ would be best pony to hash out details with." I asked him in a light tone of voice, to show that I was not being arrogant and that I wanted to be friendly as I conducted business.
"Eeyup. In tha' field there." He pointed into another vast field, which I was assuming was the East Farm.
"Thanks, have a good rest of the day!" I shouted as I ran off in the direction that Big Mac pointed.
I probably had wasted a few minutes in walking around and asking about. I needed to hurry up if I wanted this to feel like a New Year's Eve party. When I ran out of breath, I slowed down and I ended up hearing another thunking sound in the distance. That must be AJ, as Big Mac was working in another farm and Applebloom was doing chores by the barn.
I walked closer and closer towards the thunking until it got louder and more clear. Then the general direction became more accurate and I walked a little quicker. After I pushed through a dense amount of trees, I saw what I had been hunting for the last half an hour.
Applejack.
She was bucking Apple trees, and with unbelievable efficiency. As she finished a bank of trees, I walked over to her as she gathered her baskets of apples.
"Afternoon Applejack." I greeted her politely.
"Well howdy Circuit! How are ya'll doin'?" She replied happily.
She was always one to give a pleasant greeting if you returned it.
"I'm doing well, thank you. I know this may be extremely short notice, but could I propose a business opportunity to you?" I asked her, unsure of what she would reply with.
"Sure ah guess. As long as it ain't buckin' all these trees in a day!" She joked, giving me a faux punch.
"No, nothing that demanding. Would it be troubling for you to buck enough apples for say... 20 glasses of apple cider? And of course, squeeze them, bottle them and get them to a spot I choose?" I explained to her.
She taps her hoof on her chin a few times, thinking.
"All depends on when the deadline is, Sugarcube. When do you ya'll need this by?" She questioned.
"10pm tonight. So that gives you nine hours. Is that enough?" I asked her with a uneasy face. I had no idea if this could be done.
Her eyes became hung over with relief. I still held my breath until she said something though.
"Nine hours!? Ah could make 'nuff Cider for half of Ponyville with that amount of time!" She smiled.
Then I decided to breathe a sigh of relief.
"Phew, I'm glad. I will pay you guys 100 Bits for your troubles." I said to her, gleefully.
"Pleasure doin' business!" She winked as I handed her the 100 Bit note.
Right, that was the booze sorted. And I use the term "booze" lightly. Food and chairs were next on the list. I'm sure Rarity can scratch some fabric together so that they create chairs, and Pinkie could do some food for us, but not too much. There was booze involved after all.
It was probably best to head to Rarity's first, at least then she would have a decent amount of time to construct some plans for some chairs, and I could go to Sofas & Quills to get wooden bases made for the chairs.
I was determined to make New Years a half decent celebration. At least it kept us human in someway.
After I sorted the location and times with Applejack, I left the farm and started the walk back towards Ponyville. I was sure the Carousel Boutique wasn't that hard to find.
It only took 5 short minutes before I was back in the town centre and I looked around for Rarity's place. I suppose because it had carousel in the name, it surely had some resemblance to one? Nonetheless, I found it. Would have looked a lot better if it did actually spin and it had her designs on pony templates within the spinning carousel.
I curled my mane over with my hoof to make it neater, brushed any dust and dirt off my hooves and coat, took a deep breath and knocked on the door four times. I always believed that three knocks was unlucky for some reason.
I waited patiently until I heard clip-clopping of hoofs getting closer towards the door and I straightened my pose and smiled. Multiple locks were fumbled about until I heard 3 unlocks and the door opened slightly. Stood there, was Rarity.
"Good afternoon Rarity, my name is Circuit Boost. I know this is rather invading of your personal space, but I was wishing to discuss personal business with you. Is it okay if we privately discuss business?" I spoke in my cleanest accent I could muster, gathering the most sophisticated words I could think of.
"Pleasure to meet you Mr Boost. I haven't seen you around Ponyville before. Have you traveled far and wide to seek my fabulous expertise?" She gleamed, smugly.
At least she was smiling, I needed to keep her like this. First impressions were everything when it came to Ms Rarity.
"Yes, indeed I have. I recently moved into town and I would like to discuss serious business with you, if you are not too busy?" I asked her, treading very lightly and thinking about every single word I said.
"Why, yes, of course! Come and take a seat!" She said as she opened her door and stepped aside, inviting me in.
I walked inside and took a quick glance at my surroundings. It looked exactly like it did in the show. She really was a hard worker. And she was damn good at what she did. I walked over to a small pair of chairs and took a delicate seat on one of them, and waited for Rarity to sit opposite me.
"I would like to discuss the plans and the deadline. However, I must ask this first. Would you be able to fit in a emergency appointment for today?" I asked her, giving her my full attention.
She used her magic to pick up a pair of fancy reading glasses and a journal she kept on a table next to pony templates. She put the glasses and skimmed through her journal, humming as she did so. After 30 seconds of quiet reading to herself, she looked at me over her glasses.
"I am available for 4 hours today darling. What would you like me to accomplish by then?" She asked, still looking over her glasses, as if she was trying to do that "sexy secretary" pose.
"Here is the plan. I would like you to pick up four deck chair templates and use your most resistant, yet softest fabric you can find. But on these particular models, I would like hindleg rests, as if you were sitting on your flank?" I explained to her.
She was nodding her head and was scribbling in her scrapbook as I described what I wanted. After 5 minutes, she flipped the book over and I looked at what the result was. A modern looking deckchair, with woven fabric and integrated armrests. Perfect for pony size.
"This is simply fantastic. Is it possible to construct four of these in four hours?" I asked her, smiling at the drawing.
"But of course! That will be 100 Bits if you would like me to begin right away." She said, as she got up and trotted towards her cash register on one of the tables.
"Thank you ever so much for creating this on such short notice. I look very forward to seeing the end products! Shall I be back in four hours to collect them?" I said to her as I handed over the 100 Bit note that I grabbed on the way over here.
"Mhmm." She hummed as she immediately got to work, grabbing tape measures and various colourful fabrics.
I decided that letting myself out would be best. I walked to the door, and let myself out quietly. Applejack was hard at work with the cider and Rarity was constructing the bespoke deckchairs. All that remained was food, but I was pretty certain that we could pick something up just before we walk to Cosmo Hill, just on the outskirts of Ponyville. It was a large green rolling hill, that many ponies went up to at night to admire the stars and moon. It is even rumoured that even Princesses Celestia and Luna have been there before.
I walked home, as I needed to tell the lads that I had something planned for us. However, when I opened the door, I heard a rather angry Story Armstrong.
"Who is it!?" He shouted from the back room, in a very stern tone.
"It's me man, don't worry." I shouted back in a much politer tone of voice.
"Dude, we have lost over 200 Bits, do you know where the fuck it has gone?" He asked as he walked in from the kitchen area.
"It was me man, I spent 200 bits today." I said innocently, but it was clear that he didn't know my intentions of a quasi-New Year party because his orange face turned a shade of red.
"YOU DID WHAT!?" He shouted into my face.
"Woah, back the fuck down! I spent it on getting us a party, so chill out for fuck sake!" I retaliated.
"We don't need a fucking party, we need to get our Marks!" He shouted, as he was getting more frustrated with every sentence that I said.
"You do know what day it is today, right? We came here on the morning of the 7th, and it has been 24 days. So it is the 31st." I said to him.
"Oh yeah, 31st, big deal. We really need a fucking party for that." He muttered as he turned around and walked away.
"31st of December, numbnuts. Do I need to spell it out? I got some Apple Cider sorted and Rarity is building us some prototype deckchairs so we can say goodbye to 2016 in style." I replied back.
His face went from flustered and annoyed, to embarrassed and ashamed. He just realised that he had a full-blown go at me for organising a New Years celebration.
"It's one of the things that keeps us human on the inside until we get back home. Come on dude." I said to him calmly as I nudged into him playfully.
"Alright, sorry man." He said, hanging his head down.
"It's okay. I can understand that we desperately need our Marks, and that space exploration sounds fucking awesome, but there are some things that we shouldn't let go off. And our humanity isn't one of them. We are getting home, sooner or later. But for now, let's have our own celebrations. Our home away from home, if that makes sense." Told him as I brung him into a man-hug.
"Come on, we have got to get ready and pick up those chairs in a few hours." I said as I walked off towards the bathroom.
For the next few hours, me and Armstrong tidied the cottage and got ready. When it came to 5:30pm, I told Armstrong to tell the other two lads to get ready once they were home, as I needed to grab the chairs and check on the cider.
I left our cottage, which still needs a name, and returned to Carousel Boutique to see if the deck chair prototypes were finished.
I knocked on the door and took a steady step back and waited for Rarity to answer the door. It was a good 30 seconds or so before she finally unlocked all those locks and open the door for me.
"Ah! Mr Boost! I see that you have come to see the final result of your fabulous.. Ahem... Chairs?"
I slightly cringed when she had to clear her throat to say the word chair. I hoped that it meant nothing.
"Evening Ms Rarity! I am indeed! Are they finished?" I asked her in a light, cheery tone.
"Yes, come and see!" She replied, just as cheery as I was.
I followed her inside and she led me towards her fancy stage, complete with magic spotlights and a stage curtain.
"Are you ready?" She asked me. She looked extremely confident, but the nervousness in her voice stuck out like a sore thumb.
"I am." I replied, neutrally.
"Behold...!" She spoke in a moderately loud voice before pausing to use her magic to pull the curtains back and reveal four deck chairs.
"Your new chairs, complete with forehoof-rests!"
I got to say, they looked fit for a king. They looked like thrones, and were surprisingly, colour coordinated to our four colours. There was a light grey, a dark orange, a deep brown and a sky blue chair for each of us. My mouth was pretty agape at this point, so I could tell that Rarity was relived that I liked them. Once I snapped out of it, I looked at her.
"May I?" I muttered to her, motioning my head towards the light grey chair.
She raised her hoof up and looked at me with soft eyes.
"By all means. Please." She said to me, with a calm tone of voice.
I slowly stepped up and stood in front of my chair. I admired the very professional handy work completed by Rarity. I then looked at the wooden base beneath the fabrics. I lightly dragged my hoof across the surface of the thickest wooden support. I could feel all of the grain of the wood. This was real, hand crafted wood. Whoever made this definitely had a Cutie Mark in carpentry. Even my father, who did carpentry for over 25 years, would admire this piece of art. And we had one each.
After I had admired the visual beauty of my chair, I slowly took a stable position above it and slowly lowered myself into the cushions, stapled into and woven around the wooden bases. There was no creaking from the wood, which means these bases were made today. Especially for these chairs. I slowly sank into the fabrics and cushions, which was an amazing feeling. I felt extremely relaxed.
"Wow... These are just perfect." I whispered under my breath as I closed my eyes and let my body fully relax.
"I'm extremely pleased that you appreciate my work of art." She whispered beside me, standing unusually close to me.
I opened my eyes and I caught her eyes glaze over my flank. This obviously meant that she has realised that I had no Mark. I decided to not say anything and proceeded to get up and start packing up the chairs.
I spend 10 minutes getting the chairs folded up carefully and placed into the back of a carriage that I had rented before I arrived.
"Thank you once again Ms Rarity. I hope I do business with you again soon." I said to her, as I strapped myself into the carriage holster.
"Please, call me Rarity. And you are very welcome." She said to me, sending me off.
I walked 8 paces before I stopped and turned around.
"Rarity." I said in a loud tone so that I could get her attention.
"You should come and visit my cottage sometime. I may need some help getting it renovated. And by the way, call me Circuit." I said to her with a cheeky smile at the end.
She didn't say anything. She just simply smiled and nodded at me. I smiled back and walked towards Cosmo Hill to get ready for this party.
I had arrived at Cosmo Hill and I proceeded to pick a spot that had great view of Ponyville, the town's great clock and a vast view of the stars, that were not yet visible. I waited until 7pm until Applejack arrived with a small carriage behind her, carrying 20 bottles of cider. I walked over to her and gave her a hoof getting the box unloaded.
"Well, there ya are. Ah hope ya'll enjoy that." She said to me, wiping the sweat off her brow.
"Thanks Applejack. Couldn't have done this without you." I smiled as I placed the box beside the four chairs.
"May ah ask, what's all this for? You could have asked Pinkie to help ya'll with this part of yours." She asked me politely.
"It's a personal celebration between me and my friends. It's a long story, and I'd love to tell you about it some time. I replied, smiling.
"Ah see. Well, enjoy your little shindig, and ah'll see you around!" She said as she turned around and walked off with her carriage.
After Applejack left, I quickly got some salads sorted for us in the market as it was closing up so I we didn't have to worry about them later and took them up to our spot.
It was 8pm when I saw three others walked towards the hill, with a certain orange pony in the lead. I smiled, got up off the soft spot that I was laying in and walked towards them.
"Good evening fellas." I said to them as I walked closer.
"Evening Circuit!" They all said in unison, as we all met up and hoofbumped each other.
"Come on, I got a surprise for you." I said to the three of them as I walked back up the hill.
Their faces dropped when they saw the immaculate chairs, the food all laid out and the booze, stacked up in a ice-chilled box.
"Yeah boy, we are celebrating New Years in style." I told them, smugly.
They all took seats in their obvious chairs and just remained silent for a few moments.
"Oh. My. Fucking. God. This chairs are unreal." Barrel quipped as he sank further into his chair.
"Tell me about it." I agreed as I grabbed four ciders and handed three of them to each one of the lads.
I took a seat in my chair and gazed at the dusk sun as we all sipped our first cider.
Life right then, was perfect. Considering we were in a completely different universe, in pony bodies, I didn't care. The four of us, drinking cider, watching the sun set. It was fantastic.
I suddenly felt the urge to start singing one of the most epic songs known, to honour humanity and it's artists.
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a landslide,
No escape from reality.
After I had finished that verse, the other lads had caught onto what I was singing and decided to join in.
Open your eyes,
Look up to the skies and see,
I'm just a poor boy, I need no sympathy,
Because I'm easy come, easy go,
Little high, little low,
Anyway the wind blows doesn't really matter to me, to me
We tried to sing the whole of the song without any usage of music or an acapella background, but it was quite difficult. We were certain some ponies heard us, but we really didn't care at this point.
As we finished the last verse, the sun finally set and the moon was raised, signalling that midnight was soon approaching. As the moon reached the highest point in the sky, I raised my bottle to the sky.
"Happy New Year guys." I said softly, but loud enough that the guys could hear me.
They all raised their bottles as we stared towards the moon and took in the gorgeous moonlight. We then took a sip to seal the toast.
"I know it sounds selfish, but I hope we don't celebrate our next New Years here." Ollie said after a generous sip of his second cider.
"Yeah, it would be great to spend it at a pub, or with our families." Armstrong said, with tear in his eye.
"Yeah. I swear, that within 52 weeks, we will have found a way home. And we will go home and cherish what he take for granted in Earth." I announced, raising my bottle in the air once again.
"Here here." The three others cheers as we all took another drink of our ciders.
It was clear we were not getting drunk from these ciders, so we just decided to drink them like a casual drink. We continued to drink until we ran out.
It was approximately 1am before we decided it was time to head home. So we packed up our chairs, tidied up our mess, and got some rest.
Hopefully we didn't see 2018 in Ponyville.
Harmony Imbalance
"Star, cast another rigidity spell on the chassis." I say to him as I try and hold together various parts of The Excalibur's chassis to stop them warping and bending.
Equestrian metals are not that tough, it seems. New Year's Day was 9 days ago, if you didn't know how long had passed since the last update in the events we have experienced. I won't bother telling you guys about the days where it was full of working, sleeping and me contending with Writers Block in my room after my Vision has stopped working for the day. Apparently I can only use it once a day.
Anyways, where was I? Oh yeah, The Excalibur was finally taking shape. I had paid the finest blacksmiths around for the required parts I needed and I was welding and riveting them together. It could almost stand up on four corners without warping or bending. Almost.
Star nodded and powered up his horn so that it was highly charged with magic and cast a dark blue spell over the chassis. After a few minutes of slightly bending metals, tightening rivets and a bit more welding, I let him drop the spell.
I carefully took steady steps back and stared at awe as the chassis was now supporting itself without any objects stopping it from skewing to one side or any assistance from magic. It was getting there. But it still needed a secondary chassis on the top to further increase rigidity and integral strength. This needed to be air tight and space-worthy after all.
I bet that Princess Celestia could throw something like this together in a matter of seconds if she had all the materials in front of her.
...That's a good point actually. Celestia would piss all over a challenge like that. But what about Princess Twilight? She absolutely loves a challenge. And assembling a complex ship within a few minutes was certainly up there.
Perhaps I could challenge her to do it? And obviously repay her in some way if she could actually complete it.
But I still needed parts. Mostly exterior shell panels, copper wiring, but there was one part I had no idea how to assemble.
"Cheers guys. She is alright like that for now, as long as we keep the gazebo up. I still need to figure out how to make the final part." I said to Armstrong and Star as I walked back inside.
"And what part is that? We have most of the core components already, I made sure." Armstrong said to me from the other side of the garden under the large gazebo we had put up to hide construction of The Excalibur.
"You know I drew up a blueprint and a materials list for us? Well, there is a second blueprint. It is last thing required, and the most crucial, as it is the power core." I told him as he stopped me walking inside.
"Well, let's go and get the materials! It cannot be that hard to find." He said enthusiastically.
"Do you know where to find a Harmonious Crystal? You know, the life force capable of rivalling the Elements of Harmony? As they are also crystals themselves." I asked him, facing away from him.
When I wheeled round, expecting a sarcastic comment, all I saw was Armstrong's facial expression drop.
"No? How about the polar opposite of the Harmonious Crystals, Chaotic Crystals? How they are even created or synthesised?" I asked again, rhetorically.
"I actually have a slight idea of how to get Chaotic Crystals..." Armstrong replied with a dark smile.
It took me a few moments to catch on to what he was getting at. Chaotic. Which is Chaos... And who's famous in Equestria for Chaos...
That's right.
"No. We are not getting Q involved!" I said to him sternly.
"Awww come on! You know he is harmless!" He argued back.
"You know he could fuck up all we have planned? He would immediately question the fact that we don't have Marks yet, so that would not help us in the slightest. He constantly writes to Fluttershy so that would be one of the first things that he would include, she would be suspicious, she's get the rest of the Mane Six involved, Twilight Sparkle will be down our throats, wondering how we even got here and then eventually Princess Celestia would get stuck in, as she'd want to know where four foreigners have come from and why they are here." I said to him, taking a deep breath after my huge rant.
Armstrong had nothing to say after that. He just remained quiet.
"So yeah, best not to ask Q for any advice just yet. And don't say his name. I have no idea if he is attracted by his name or something." I muttered as I walked back inside.
I was rattling my brain on how to locate any of the Harmonious or Chaotic Crystals. The closest I could get was politely ask Rarity if she would come with us and cast her Crystal Location spell and desperately look for a crystals that is rainbow coloured, positively glowing and has a distinct hum when it is nearby. I only know that because the blueprint shows us it.
I still couldn't get over the fact that my hidden talent knew more about Equestria and Magic more than I did. But I guess that is Destiny Magic for you. I would bet Celestia, Twilight or even Starswirl have begun to understand how Destiny Magic works.
Since we were all a bit pissed off, I decided to take a walk around Canterlot Mountain, see if there was any progress to be made along there. The walk towards Canterlot really cleared my mind. I felt no stress once I finally arrived at the base of the winding path that scaled the mountain.
I seriously thought about what I was doing, as there used to be a dormant dragon at the top of this mountain. But hopefully, among some of the loot he left behind, might be a Harmonious Crystal. I started the long trek up the mountain, and I didn't bother taking any supplies up with me. I was looting, not fucking glamping. If you didn't understand glamping, it is where you take everything camping, including your double bed, the shower and the kitchen sink.
I got half way up when I had to start doing some seriously tricky jumps caused by the Mane Six on their trek up here and even more jumps after Spike's rampage as a fully grown dragon. My legs were killing me, but I was getting some decent exercise out of this "expedition".
Half an hour later, I reached the summit. And before me, was the entrance to a massive cave. I slowly walked inside, using a crudely made flint and steel to make a makeshift light. I used the light to illuminate the way and I found where the dragon used to sleep. I checked nearby and found a few loose golden coins and even some damaged gems on the floor as I looked deeper. These were clearly not good enough for whoever ransacked this place.
I decided to walk deeper, and what I found looked amazing. It was smaller cave that was nearly a perfect sphere, with my torch causing a rainbow light across the entire surface of the cave walls. Upon closer inspection, I realised the walls had thousands of tiny rainbow gems imbedded within. When I looked around the sphere, I found large shards of the rainbow gem.
I placed my torch down and pulled a shard out of the wall. What was incredible is that it was stronger than my forelegs bending it, and even my whole body weight but thinner than a streamer. I held it in my hoof and shined it towards the touch and as the firelight refracted off the crystal shard, it projected a immensely bright rainbow on the cave ceiling. The thing was, the rainbow was moving back and forth, like it was charged.
Whatever caused this, it looks like the crystal used to be Harmonious. It probably still is, but this must be a shard. A fraction of what it used to be. So the dragon did have a Harmonious Crystal, but something happened to it. Perhaps he had a Chaotic Crystal too and it exploded, due to the sheer amount of chaotic energy contained within?
I held onto the Harmonious shard and began my decent. The journey down was much quicker, as it was completely downhill and easier on the legs. Once I reached the base, I checked to make sure I still had my shard with me and I got back to the Cottage.
I let myself in and I saw Armstrong, Star and Barrel sat in the front room having a coffee. We drunk a lot of coffee, and I mean loads. There was no Coca-Cola or Pepsi. So the alternative was coffee.
"Hey guys." I said in a monotone.
"Afternoon dude, where did you go?" Barrel asked me from the couch.
"I went researching. And you'll never guess what I found." I said as I walked towards the couch and coffee table.
All three of their heads turned towards me as I stood beside them. I grabbed my shard and threw it on the table. It bounced once before becoming still in the centre of the table.
Armstrong instantly picked it up and inspected it.
"Holy shit, you found one!?" He said, unable to believe his eyes.
"No. That's a shard. Remember that cave in Canterlot Mountain that housed that dragon that Fluttershy took care of?" I muttered, trying to not be the bearer of bad news.
He simply looked up at me and nodded.
"Well, I found it there. But it looked like there had been an explosion that scattered it everywhere. I think that the dragon also had a Chaotic Crystal and it must have overloaded and sent the rest of his collection all over the walls." I described to them.
"Well, at least you have a sample. And I think you know where to go next." Barrel said.
I picked the shard back up from Armstrong and walked towards the door.
"Yep. And she'll do anything to get one of these on her ensembles." I smiled smugly.
We were all gathered outside Carousel Boutique when I was just about to knock the door, but Armstrong stopped me.
"Dude, before you knock, what are you gonna say to her?" He said nervously.
"I am going to ask her if she is interested in getting the most elegant gem in all of Equestria. I will tell her that whatever we find, we take half so everyone wins. I'll give her the shard so that she'll have a template to go by. And pray tell, we'll end up with some Harmonious Crystals by the end of today." I say as I hold the shard.
The rest of the lads agreed and thought that was a sound plan. I hovered my hoof next to the door and looked at the lads to get confirmation that I should knock. They looked at me and nodded. I held my breath and knocked the door four times.
We all waited their anxiously for her to answer the door. She did end up answering the door eventually.
"Oh, Circuit! How are you today darling?" She said cheerily as she opened the door, realising who was at the door.
"I am fantastic today, thank you Rarity, how are you?" I replied with a big smile.
"I am simply wonderful! Are these your friends that are new to town along with you?" She questioned politely.
"They certainly are, stuck with each other through thick and thin." I smiled as I bring my forelegs around them in a crude hug.
"It is simply brilliant to see that friendships extend further than Equestria. Anyway, may I help you with anything?" She said, standing proud in the doorway.
"Yes actually. You see, that we have this ultra rare gem that we would like more of and-" I said before she cut me off with her own response.
"You would like me to cast my Gem Seeking spell to find more?" She interrupted, knowing instantly what I was getting at.
"Uhh yes, and if we find any-" I said as I tried to recover my words before she cut in again.
"We can split the finds equally?" She said, finishing off my statement.
"... Yes." I said with a pause.
"Do you have one with you?" She asked, fluttering her eyelashes.
"... No. But I do have a shard, that could be enough?" I said steadily.
Before I could bring my hoof out to hand her the shard, it was already enveloped in her Levitation spell and was observing it.
"This'll be enough. Come with me darlings!" She said proudly, shutting her front door and began strutting away.
We should have invented cameras, because my face then was priceless. Or so they tell me.
"Uhh, what just happened?" I said, completely dumbfounded.
"You just got out-bartered by Rarity." Barrel sniggered.
I shook my head in embarrassment.
"Let's get on with this. I bet we'll be her digging bitches for today." I muttered quietly.
We walked behind her as she worked her literal magic to find any more of these Harmonious Crystals.
We must have walked for about an hour, because Ponyville was not even in sight and Cloudsdale was a fair distance away, being a city in the clouds and all. I just wish we could show them a true flying city...
Rarity made Armstrong and Barrel do the occasional fly-over to scout ahead. She must still be paranoid of that time she was abducted by Diamond Dogs. Though I am sure that four lads from Earth that have seen their fair share of fights knew how to handle themselves and protect Rarity easily.
Still, couldn't blame her for being paranoid.
We eventually ended up in the expanse that was said to hold Harmonious Crystals. There were crystallised roots all over the surface of the ground. Almost as if a tree made of crystal was here. But it was gone now.
Rarity tuned her spell so that it was more focused on being directly in front of her instead of the general direction. She scanned for a little while before we heard a distinct hum coming from the ground.
"Try digging there." Rarity said simply.
Using makeshift shovels that we created on the way, we started digging. After some minutes, we heard thunking as the metallic heads were hitting something hard. We shifted all other soil out of the way to find what looked like, a cocoon made of crystal roots.
"Stand back a minute." I said as I brung up my shovel above my head.
Mustering all the strength I could, I struck the crystal roots with the sharp edge of the shovel. The sound could have been heard for miles. But when I looked back at the roots, there was not even a mark. I looked at it, puzzled.
"How the fuck?" I muttered under my breath.
"Watch your language!" Rarity said, shocked.
"And you said it wrong." She added on the end once she got a bit of composure.
She tried placing her hoof on the cocoon and there was a huge flash of light. The cocoon then unravelled the crystal roots, leaving a loud humming, extremely bright, Harmonious Crystal laying in the dirt.
Rarity's eyes simply widened with glee. Everyone else gaped in awe. This thing was truly immense. Unlike any gem I had ever seen. I slowly picked it up and held it in my hooves. The colours of the rainbow seamlessly shimmered throughout the crystal, even moving back and forth from the energy within.
"Woah. This is what I'm talking about." I said, placing crystal carefully in the pull-trolley we brung with us.
"I do not know why, but once I touched that beautiful gem, it felt like my magic was unparalleled." Rarity mumbled, unable to keep her thoughts straight.
"Touch it again, and then cast your Gem Seeking spell. See if it affects the strength of it." I asked her, and she nodded.
She placed her hoof on the crystal and powered up her horn to cast the spell. However, her horn wasn't light blue like it had been ever since we started walking. It was a rainbow. Her horn glimmered with a transitioning rainbow.
After a few moments of straining, she got her thoughts straight and the ground became illuminated. We saw 16 cocoons under the ground. When she illuminated the ground, the crystal's hum became much more distinctive. I grabbed my shovel and made a beeline towards the nearest crystal and dug for it. The three others did the same and dug three separate cocoons out of the ground. We continued for 10 minutes, digging all of the cocoons out of the ground.
I walked over to Rarity and placed a hoof on her shoulder and gave her a nod so that she would stop using the highly charged spell. She then continued to place her hoof on the cocoons and unveil the Harmonious Crystals beneath them.
"So why do you think they are released by Rarity's touch?" I asked Star as we were collecting crystals.
"It could be because she's a Element of Harmony. And that these crystals are linked to the Tree of Harmony itself." He replied, gathering more crystals within his Levitation spell.
I opened my mouth to say something, but then nothing came out so I just shut my mouth and said nothing. Star was probably spot on with that theory.
We gathered all 17 Harmonious Crystals and placed them carefully on the pull-trolley and started to make our way back to Ponyville.
Rarity had a reasonable pace on, and I could clearly see why. She was incredibly eager to get those crystals into her new outfits and completely take over Fashion as we knew it. At least in Equestria. I knew nothing looked better than well-styled hair and a sharp three-pieced black suit.
We finally got back into Ponyville after 30 minutes of power-walking. We decided to go towards the Carousel Boutique and drop off Rarity and her share of the crystals before we make our way back to our cottage.
As we walked through the town, nearly every pony was bedazzled by the crystals we were transporting. They did made one hell of a noise.
17 individual crystals making one synchronous humming sound? It got real loud.
If it wasn't the sounds of the crystals, it was the immense light-show that was drawing the town in. All of us got defensive and stood equal distances apart circling the cargo, will me on-point, pulling said trolley.
After the local ponies got a little bored, we high-tailed it to Rarity's to get them delivered. Once we arrived, Star levitated 8 Harmonious Crystals out of the trolley and Rarity took over his magic, giving her, the fair share she deserved.
I had a quick idea, and because of her generosity and willingness to help us out, I carefully lifted one more crystal out and walked towards Rarity.
"Dude, what are you doing?" Armstrong objected strongly.
I wheeled round slowly.
"She was the one who helped us get this motherlode. If it wasn't for Rarity, we wouldn't have any crystals. Just a tiny shard, useful for a damn wedding ring. So it is a token of appreciation." I replied harshly.
I walked up behind Rarity and cleared my throat. She had just finished putting her crystals away in her magically secure chest so she was startled by my presence.
"Oh! Sorry, is there anything else Circuit?" She smiled, gleefully.
"Just one thing. It has been difficult for me and my friends since arriving in Ponyville, and I would like to give you another crystal. Consider it a token of appreciation, as you are one of few ponies that have gone out of your own way to make us feel more comfortable." I said to her, with a strong honesty in my voice.
As I gave her the crystal, the humming became noticeably quieter and began to glow a very bright blue, over all of the rainbow colours.
Rarity on the other hand, had turned pink. She was blushing a significant amount. She lifted the crystal out of my hooves into the air with her magic, to see it only vanish in a flash of orange.
I ran back over to Armstrong who was chucking the crystal into the pile of others.
"Dude, what the fuck are you doing!?" I exclaimed.
"Giving another one of these crystals as a thank you? Write her a fucking card." Armstrong sneered.
I took the crystal back out of the trolley, which was back to it's normal rainbow colours.
"Star, cast a Protection spell over the trolley and get the rest of them back home." I stated to Star, to which he nodded as enveloped the trolley in a dark blue hue and walked towards our cottage.
"This belongs to Rarity. End of story." I deadpan to Armstrong, his look of irritancy growing stronger.
"Like fuck it does. Stop being such a kiss-ass Circuit." Armstrong said, but with a louder and sterner tone.
I placed the crystal on the ground and stepped in closer to Armstrong's space.
"Don't fucking raise your voice at me." I said, venom dripping off every syllable.
Armstrong's wings took full extension, and using the momentum, he pushed me with his forelegs. I stumbled back, but quickly recovered my balance.
"You want to start something then!?" Armstrong shouts at me, taking on an offensive pose.
"I want you to stop being such a fucking prick!" I retort back, raising my voice.
I quickly look around and saw that we were causing quite the commotion. I could easily see Fluttershy, nearly crying behind Rarity's back, Rainbow Dash peering down from a nearby cloud, with many other townsfolk staring directly at us.
But what I didn't see behind me, was Barrel, picking up the crystal that I had placed on the floor. It was now glowing a deep purple and the humming was gradually getting louder.
"Ever since we got here, you've been nothing but a pompous ass!" Armstrong shouted back.
This was now a full-blown argument and was a few sentences from escalating into fisticuffs.
"I'm trying to get us somewhere! Not trying to be a dickhead and get us thrown out of Equestria!" I spat back.
It was then, that even I took an offensive stance.
"Don't make me kick your ass so that you'll shut the fuck up." I said, with more venom than my last statement I made to him.
Barrel was now concerned, as the crystal was now glowing a dark red. And the hum was very loud, and had got higher in pitch.
Unbeknownst to my knowledge, Princess Twilight had been called, due to the commotion we were causing and she was already on her way.
"Come on then, you fucking asshat." Armstrong stated, readying himself into a combat stance.
As I ran towards him, he took into the air and began speeding towards me. I carefully calculated my steps so that by the time he reached me, I could land a uppercut right into his gut.
As we were about to clash, Twilight ran around the corner, demanding to know what was going on. But what she saw scared her. She immediately ran towards Barrel instead of us.
Barrel was staring right into a bright red crystal, that had a nearly ear-piercing screech.
"You there! Put the crystal down!" Twilight shouted as she zoomed past me, as I still ran towards Armstrong, still counting my steps.
With the shouting snapping Barrel out of it, he threw the crystal away from him. As he did this, Armstrong tried to clothesline me with his wing, but because I calculated it perfectly, I struck his gut with my right forehoof. Pretty hard.
Armstrong screamed in pain as I tumbled from imbalance. As I landed on the floor, all I saw was a white light and Twilight, as she was facing what used to be a Harmonious Crystal.
As the screeching died down to a loud rumble, I saw Twilight land and took a defensive stance.
"Oh buck." She muttered before casting a purple, opaque sphere around the floating white light.
What I heard next was a huge thunderous explosion from behind the purple sphere. After the explosion, the rumble became quiet and the sphere remained hovering for a few seconds as Twilight concentrated a lot of magical energy into the sphere.
She eventually stopped and ceased to cast the sphere spell, to which thousands upon thousands of rainbow shards fell from where the sphere was cast and landed on the floor.
I was mesmerised by the sight, only to be horrified by a blood-curdling scream I heard from a nearby pony.
She was staring at something, and I looked in the general direction. There laying on the ground, was a brown pony, with thousands of cuts. Bleeding profusely.
Barrel was hit by the shards.
Alone in the Ward
Smoking Barrel wakes up in the hospital. His vision a bit blurry in one eye, the other eye… Well, it was pitch black still. His heart rate began to rise as he realised that he was seeing nothing in his left eye.
“Oh shit… AHHH WHAT THE HELL! WHY CAN’T I SEE PROPERLY?” He shouted to himself in the empty hospital room.
Barrel began to calm himself down after about a minute of hyperventilation and panicking. He then raised and looked at his brown hooves too only see his left one and not his right one. His vision was blocked in his right eye. He then moved his right hoof to his left eye to see it.
“Wheres a fucking mirror? I want to see how more ugly I have become. Not that I was good looking before.” He explained with an angry tone.
Barrel looked around the hospital room. There was just some water in a bowl for him next to the bed and his journal he had kept. Barrel had thought that Fluttershy had given it to him to write in after the incident. He layed back down and sighed with a bored look on his face.
“I could have a wank… But I don’t have any hands.” He mumbled to himself.
“If you wanna get up… You need a little revive.” He sung quietly to himself. “Yeah...Quick revive my ass… Probably been here for weeks maybe..” He thought.
After singing that little perk-a-cola jingle, Barrel begins to remember all those zombie sessions on Call of Duty Zombies. Especially on Origins. He smiled a little from the nostalgia and turned to his journal that was next to water bowl. He picked it up with his mouth and placed it in front of him. He pulled out the quill from the side of the journal with his mouth. He began to draw the perk-a-cola bottles along the side of the page. He drew every one of them, from Quick Revive to Vulture Aid.
“Huh.. I never knew I could draw that good…But lets get to writing I suppose.” He said to himself with a confused tone.
He picked up the quill with his mouth and he began to write his journal entry.
I didn’t think today was going to end up like today. Well, that is me ending up in the hospital, waking up to only see through only one eye and fearing probably something else missing too. Probably one of my lungs is gone for all I know. Anyways, today was just way out of my comfort zone with all the explosions, things hitting me and what not. Usually, back in my own human world, I would just be lazing at home, probably with the same part time job, barely any friends to hang out with, probably fatter, and having a heart attack at age twenty five or something. I didn’t really have much to do back in my own world to be honest. Yeah sure, I had my moments here and there but… I was just so god damn boring all the time. Not to mention being depressing twenty four seven. I was honestly thinking about quitting making videos since I just couldn’t get myself to making one like when I first started. It was when I hit 16 years of age, that was the beginning of my...
Barrel turned the page, drew a sad face on top of his page and continued to write.
Self destruction. In which i mean by that is... Well... I just turned into a pile of shit.. I just wasn't the same. Sure, some people may call it a 'phase' but I feel like it wasnt a phase. I felt myself getting sadder, lazier and more anti-social everyday. I lost quite a few friends due to this... All my friends now are just internet friends. Not saying thats bad but... I cant hang out with them since they are always on the other side of the world. And when I started to lose motivation to make videos... Thats when it hit me. I had that sudden realisation that I just wasn't the same anymore. I didn't have one of the greatest childhoods, yet it had its moments like playing the snes, n64 and all that other stereotypical shit. But, i used to live on this street with fairly large houses including mine. Well, lets just say everyone was... Against me. Let me tell you, it ain't fun being thrown into a thorn bush by at least 6 other kids and no one helping you get out of it. It happens quite frequently, my brother was also against me. Also, they would make fun of me, tease me, ditch me, prank me, laugh at me, etc. I had nightmares for a very long time.. I had countless sleepless nights. Sometimes, I just wondered outside, praying that things would get better.
Barrel paused for a moment. He felt his eye watering as a tear dropped from his left eye. The tear landed on the bottom of the page.
"This.." He cried. "This I need to not cry over..." He said in sadness.
Barrels lips began to wobble a bit as some memories came back to him. Two more tears dropped down on the page. He sniffed a few times and wiped the tears away. Barrel then took a deep breath, turned to a new page, and began to write again.
There was nothing really I could do about it. I was really young, my parents didn't believe me and that just made it worse. I should probably stop talking about that since it makes me sad everytime I think about it. I can guarantee that if I was a pony here, those things would have never happened to me. Everyone is really friendly, everyone smiling, having more of a positive outlook on life. I really do wish I was born in this dimension rather than ours to be honest. I believe that most humans tend to ruin or destroy most things. As far as I have seen, its more negativity with humans more than positivity. No one is really friendly either, you look at them and the next second, you are in a fight. Most likely you would either end up in hospital or 6 feet under. Well, now I am just ranting… I suppose I better get on track of what I am meant to write.
Barrel turned to a fresh page in his journal. “Jeez, this is the most I have ever written in my entire miserable life.” He said. “But I got nothing else to do… No guns, no booze, no video games. Ahh… this is going to drive me nuts.” He continued in a deep voice.
Barrel began to slowly draw the ice staff from call of duty zombies along the side of the page. It looked quite bad but he was happy with it. He continued to write in his journal.
You know what? I think I could actually do something with my life here… Not be a nobody anymore, not hiding in the shadows… Perhaps… I was meant to come here for a reason. Maybe I can achieve things here that I could never do back in my own world. Because lets face it. I was a dead man anyways… Well, besides me almost dying here. I remember I had a prop ice staff I made back in my own house. It’s probably still there….. Along with my Nikolai Belinski cosplay that I made myself. It cost a fair amount to make both of those things. But it was worth it in the long run. It was funny how I wore it to ponycon in Queensland, I got a lot of weird stares but got a lot of photos and stuff by people who were wearing pony cosplays. Anyways, I guess what I am trying to say is… I could make the ice staff, perk-a-cola bottles with equestrian magic. But I gotta figure that out somehow. But the main point here is that: I know I can achieve so much more here than what I can back in my own world. Hey who knows, I could perhaps find a “mare friend” here while I am at it. I would have a better chance with that here rather than being my human self. I was quite the ugly bloke mind you. Not fat... but face ugly.
Barrel turned to a new page.
What happened today was amazing. Although I almost died (in which I couldn’t care less if I did die.) I actually had… fun. Its something I never do. Actually hanging out with the lads and having a good time. Well, except for those two arguing. But boys will be boys I suppose. Lads fight all the time. But one thing still bugs me… How long will it be before we return home? When will we see our families again? I will admit, I miss my family alot… I miss the sound of my dogs whining for food every morning. I miss the ps3, xbox, shooting the shotgun with my dad on the weekends, new ytps in my sub box, skype calls with the lads, etc. Although what I dont miss… Is other people at school and those kinds of things.
Barrel took a deep breath and closed his journal. He put the quill back in the side of the book and placed the journal back next to the water bowl. Barrel then drank some water and laid back down staring at the hospital ceiling, reflecting on what he just wrote in his journal. About ten minutes passed by, he began to sing to a tune he remembered way back in the day.
“I was totin my staff along the shiny wizards tower road. When along came a nooby with a bright, greenish coloured toad. If you’re going to Wizards Tower, come with me, we can striiiiide. So I followed that young noob. And then we settled down inside. He asked me, if seen i have seen a road.. with so much dust and sand? And I said listen noob. I’ve traveled every road in this here land…” He sung proudly. Then he continued louder and prouder.
“I’ve been everywhere noob. I’ve been everywhere noob. Crossed the deserts bare noob. I’ve breathed the mountain air noob. Of travel, I’ve had my share noob. I’ve been everywhere! I’ve been to Tree Gnome, Karamja, Shilo, Bounty Hunter, Ape Atoll, Falador, God Wars, Chaos Temple, Rellekka, Digsite, Taverly, Slayer Tower, Kalphite, Camelot, Catherby, Draynor Village, Artoogan..? Adorgner..? Ardougne…?” He sang loudly. And he continued to sing loudly.
“I’ve owned everything noob. I’ve owned everything noob. I’ve killed the biggest bear noob. I’ve shot the bolts of air noob. Fightin, I’ve had my share noob. I’ve owned everything! I’ve owned small noobs, big noobs, short noobs, tall noobs, stinky noobs, stupid noobs, fast noobs, slow noobs, hot noobs, cold noobs, green noobs, blue noobs, bald noobs, king noobs, high noobs, holy crap that is one big noob. I will kill him too…” He sang. He picked up his journal and looked at it. “So you see young noob.. I have been everywhere. I’ve killed everything. I… I’m better than yooooooouu!”
But then Barrel stopped due to the other four doctor and nurse ponies giving him a weird stare as to what just happend. But he just gave a blank expression and pretended to write in his journal. The two nurses giggled at him. Barrel’s face went red and then they went away.
“Note. Don’t break into song when you bored.” He said to himself as his stuffed his face into his journal.
He checked the door to see if they had gone away. One nurse pony had come into the room, with a smile on her face. She was standing next to the hospital bed, scaring Barrel.
“Ahh!” He shouted. “Oh.. Hello! hehe…” He said with nervousness.
“That was quite some injury you had.” The mare replied. “There were so many shards we had to remove, not to mention the blood loss you had. “ She continued.
“Yeah, all I could remember was just a big.. blast.” Barrel replied.
“So what was that song you were singing just moments ago?” The nurse asked.
“Oh… just a song that I used to know.” Barrel replied with a smile.
Fallout & Unification
"Howdy there, Circuit. And how are ya'll?"
"Fuck. Off. Applejack. This is the seventh day you have tailed me to the damn hospital and back."
"Well, there ain't no need to be so darn rude."
"And there isn't no reason for you to keep asking me the same fucking questions everyday. I am just caring for my friend in need. So I'd appreciate the privacy."
I turned my back towards Applejack and I walked away, my cheeks red with anger. She would not leave me alone ever since Barrel was flown to hospital a week ago. The last week has been extremely eventful, compared to the last few weeks we have been in Equestria.
In a nutshell, Smoking Barrel was caught in a potentially fatal explosion in the middle of Ponyville. It turns out that the highly charged Harmonious Crystals begin to destabilise when surrounded by disharmonious energy. So when I caught Armstrong in the gut after a short confrontation, the crystal nearly atomised Barrel's face. Luckily for all of us, Princess Twilight was summoned before the explosion happened.
She snapped Barrel out of the trance he was in and got him to throw it away from everyone so that Twilight could encase it in a magical shield, catching the shards and snuffing out the explosion. She stopped the explosion, but she could not encase the crystal fast enough, as it sent hundreds of shards straight at Barrel. Most of them missed, but some caught him, and one even got him in the right eye.
As you could tell, he lost vision in that eye instantly. And the multiple lacerations that the crystal shards caused was causing him to bleed profusely.
Some ponies screamed, few fainted, one vomited. It was a grim scene.
Within a matter of seconds, The Wonderbolts, were securing the area. Barrel was flown to the hospital by Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy and escorted by Twilight herself. Me and Armstrong made a quick break for it before we were found out, as we had some Harmonious Crystals in our possession. It was quickly followed by another massive argument and we ended up going our separate ways.
No-one has seen Armstrong since that day. But rumour has it, is that he is Rainbow Dash's apprentice. Apparently she needed to help fly supplies through Tornado Valley and he helped out using his turbulence resistance, amazing her in the process.
Barrel has been taken care of by Fluttershy personally, as he now needs to get used to partial vision. She even gave him a diary, which I caught him writing in the other day.
Star has been fixating himself in the CMQ plans, making sure every detail is perfect. I told him to take numerous breaks, but he refuses to listen. I take it he wants to go home.
As for the crystal incident, Twilight declared Harmonious Crystals illegal, due to their unstable power. She confiscated all eight of Rarity's crystals, despite how hard she cried. I got Star to hide our ten crystals once I got back. And I was close to building the Crystal Core. The outer shell and wiring was complete. I just needed the five Chaotic Crystals to complete it.
But because somebody tipped Twilight off that I had helped Rarity gain those crystals earlier that day, she has been on to me. Even persuading the Element of Honesty to try and get some information from me.
But I know how Applejack works. She can tell if somebody is lying, instantly. So that's the trick. Don't lie to her. I answer her questions vaguely, but in the right way to prove my "innocence" and to get her to back off for another day.
But I was pissed off today. Barrel had been told that he would never regain vision in his right eye, even through the use of magic, Star was getting distracted, claiming that he met some other magic-crazed unicorn mare the other day and I was no closer to finding any of these Chaotic Crystals.
But it was a Friday. So I had that on my side.
I stormed home, as Applejack was going to interrogate me even more if I hung around. I walked to our cottage and opened the door, only to see Star in his own Shield Spell, casting various dark magic spells on a Harmonious Crystal. Which was also encased in it's own Shield Spell.
"Huh, Shieldception." I said to myself, observing Star.
He didn't hear my statement clearly, so he ceased his last spell and lowered the outer shield.
"Say again? I missed what you said."
I proceeded to point my hoof towards the Harmonious Crystal as it floated ominously.
"Shield in a shield. Shieldception." I repeated.
Star smirked at my joke and began to walk towards the kitchen, leaving the crystal still floating in front of me.
"Once, I went to the fridge." I heard Star shout from the kitchen as I heard various clutters of plates and cutlery.
I laughed at his reference as I tapped at the crystal, which refused to move. As if it detected my laughing, it glowed a light blue hue as my laugh faded into a smile.
"Seems like the crystals react positively to happy energy." I shouted back, hoping that Star could hear me over his noisy sandwich making.
"Give one of these to Pinkie, and she could drop it, smash it, fire it out of her cannon and nuke it and it'd still be glowing blue." I joked to myself.
But my smile quickly faded. Still no closer towards getting the required Chaotic Crystals. And with two of our group out of commission for the time being, I wasn't calling in external sources. If we were going to bring Discord into this, all four of us needed to be on top of our game. With Armstrong in a strop and being trained by Rainbow, that had no chance combined with Barrel being partially blinded.
I sighed and went to rub my temples, but I realised that I don't do that, because it did nothing for me. I twisted my head in such a way to click my neck joints, releasing some tension.
I then realised that the only way to fix this, is to recruit Armstrong back into our group, rally Barrel to top condition again, summon Discord and explain what we need. And we can say that we prefer chaos and instability, because it's true. He'll hopefully become friends with us in the process if we are lucky. Having the King of Chaos on our side would help us immensely.
As all these thoughts gathered, I narrowed it down to three objectives. And I knew exactly what the first one was.
"Dude..." I shout from the living room, still staring deep into the Harmonious Crystal.
Star popped his head around the corner of the door-frame, eating a cress and cheese sandwich.
"Mmphh?" He muffled under his sandwich.
"We need to get Armstrong back."
________________________________________
After 30 minutes of training, Star has finally mastered how to cast the Cloud-Walking Spell from a previous adventure the Mane Six did. We decided to go against wings, as Rarity would have lost her life if it wasn't for Rainbow's Sonic Rainboom. We rented a hot-air balloon and made our way for the outskirts of Cloudsdale.
We got some extremely strange looks from the circling Pegasi as we neared their flight-space. Just as if we walked into the wrong neighbourhood back on Earth.
Once we got above Cloudsdale Stadium, we looked all around to see if we could see any of them. But the main thing we looked for was a rainbow trail.
After long enough, we looked directly down and saw what we were looking for. The rainbow trail. But it wasn't alone. There was almost a fire trail, almost as if someone let a rocket or firework loose by accident. We moved the balloon to beside Cloudsdale Stadium, but far enough so we could see below it.
There was a white blur that was flying upwards slowly, and charging downwards at ridiculous speeds. You could even see the air pressure streaming from the front of this blur. We continued to watch, as Star was confident the Cloud-Walking Spell has plenty of time left.
Every time we watched the white blur plummet towards the ground, there was slight fire streaks coming from the front, as if he was trying to break the Sound Barrier...
He was trying for a Sonic Rainboom.
And he was getting closer and closer.
But the fires would snuff themselves out before the Rainboom would occur. Looks like he was fast, but just not fast enough. After seven times, he returned up to Rainbow Dash, who was watching him relentlessly.
"What did I teach you? Push harder as the air slows you down!" I heard Rainbow shout as she met the Pegasus where she was hovering.
Before we knew it, there was another trail plummeting towards the ground, and she was bending a large rainbow beneath her on her decent. Looked like Rainbow Dash could do Sonic Rainbooms on a dime now. But she stopped herself, before she broke both the rainbow, and the Sound Barrier.
"Come on Armstrong, you can do it!" I heard Rainbow shout back again as she flew back up towards the hovering Pegasus.
"I had a dog, and his name was... Bingo." I muttered to myself.
"Star, head towards them, Armstrong is over there." I told him.
Star fired up his horn and cast a Levitation Spell over the balloon and dragged us towards the pair.
As we floated towards the two, Armstrong plummeted towards the ground as fast as he could. I could hear him screaming as he gave that attempt his all. Again, the fires started to build up and just before they got snuffed out, he streamlined himself, causing the fires to implode slightly, causing a tiny explosion.
This explosion was no bigger than four firecrackers, but it launched Armstrong even faster than he was before, with a huge amount of fire trailing behind him.
"Woohoo!" I heard him shout as he banked upwards and he was heading straight towards us. Star saw this, but he couldn't move us out of the way fast enough.
"Oh fuck!" I heard him shout as he skimmed the balloon, nearly colliding with us head on. But his fire trail was less forgiving.
Being made out of cloth, it caught alight in a matter of seconds.
"Oh for fuck sake." I sigh as I observed the fire spread across the fabric. As the hot air escaped the balloon, we began to drop.
The basket we were stood in skewed, and we got tossed out of it. Me and Star were now free falling, just as Rarity was.
I was plummeting towards the ground, face down. I didn't want to face this way, as I could see the ground approaching fast. I was panicking and I had begun flailing my legs around wildly. I wanted to scream, but I had no air in my lungs to use. Because of the sheer amount of air rushing into my face, I could not breathe in properly.
As I got closer, I closed my eyes, expecting one final crunch and then nothing.
I felt a hard impact slam to me.
"This is it." I thought. But I was still thinking. Dead people don't think.
I realised that my senses were still here, and I could still hear air rushing past my ears, I felt the cold wind against my back and there was a extremely warm object wrapped around me. I opened my eyes and I saw a Pegasus is a fire-proof suit carrying me away from the hard ground.
After a few seconds, I was dropped onto the soft clouds on the outer ring of Cloudsdale Stadium.
I was still in shock. I could not move. I nearly died for all I knew.
"What are you doing here?" I heard distinctly as my consciousness faded in and out.
I tried opening my mouth, nothing happened. I think I just groaned. My ears were ringing from how loud the wind whistled past my ears. I could still feel the soft texture of the clouds, and it was so nice. It was all that was comforting me at that moment.
After about a minute, I felt feeling starting to return to my legs again. I slowly propped myself up with my hind legs and began to stand up with my forelegs.
I looked in front of me and all I saw was a very annoyed orange pony in a fire-proof suit.
"I said, what are you doing here?" Armstrong asked again, sternly.
"Heh, you look like a bit of a nob in that suit Armstrong..." I sniggered under my breath.
"The fuck did you say?" He said, venom on every word.
"I said, thanks for saving my life, Armstrong." I replied, swallowing my pride.
But I needed him back. And truthfully, I wanted my friend back.
"Where is Star?" I asked him, quickly gazing over him.
Armstrong wheeled around and pointed with his hoof to a faint rainbow trail in the distance.
"There. Rainbow Dash caught him." He quipped as I squinted my vision so I could see the trail.
"At least we are all okay..." I trailed off, trying to think of something.
I bit my lip as I thought of something, as Armstrong was watching Rainbow in the distance.
"Listen... I'm sorry about the other week. We are all caught up in trying to trying to get home, we lose what part of home we have left." I said sincerely.
"So breaking one of my ribs was part of that plan then?" Armstrong sneered back.
"Obviously not. But what we did actually created a diversion for Star, and he grabbed some of Rarity's crystals. So we actually ended up with ten, instead of eight. So I should be thanking you." I replied, hanging my head low.
He knew I was sorry for what happened, but he knew that if something serious has gone down, a bit of breathing space and time alone did a world of good. I heard him sigh deeply. It sounded like he saw logic to my reasoning.
"Come on man, we need you. We all want to get home together. And spending it apart isn't going to make our experience here any more bare-able. And besides, how can I summon Q without one of his biggest fans...?" I said, cracking a slight smile.
I even saw his facial muscles move slightly, so even Armstrong was smiling. Discord was easily our favourite character. But we always called him Q.
"And how do you suppose we do that?" He questioned, turning his head towards me slightly.
"We get the other two lads together, heist the Summoning Spell from Twilight, speak with Discord about it and see if he can do anything about these Harmonious Crystals we have." I said, thinking on my answer.
Armstrong remained quiet for a long while, dwelling on my response. After what seemed like an eternity, he turned and faced me.
"Then what are we waiting for? These Marks won't earn themselves."
Armstrong smiled as he held up a hoof for a hoofbump. I immediately obliged and we set about getting Star and heading to the hospital. But I had to get off Cloudsdale first.
After we rented another balloon so I could decent safely, we scoured Ponyville to look for where Star was dropped off by Rainbow Dash. We knew they landed on the outskirts, but they had both took off by that point. We looked near Sugarcube Corner, but we quickly spotted Rainbow Dash who was talking to some local townsponies. We decided to try to ignore her and not draw attention to ourselves.
Until we saw Applejack.
I quickly pulled Armstrong around a corner.
"Oh fuck! It's AJ!" I whispered, hiding with my back to a nearby cottage wall.
"What's your issue with Applejack? She's fine to me." Armstrong said, obviously confused.
"Since the incident, she's be trying to interrogate me. Every single day as well." I explain to him quietly.
"Sooo, she's been bugging you like hell since?" He asked back.
"Basically. If she sees me, she'll go asking questions galore again." I muttered.
"Why don't we swap positions then? I'll walk past Applejack, who is fine with me. And you walk past Rainbow, as she doesn't even know of you. If it all goes haywire, meet up at the hospital." He explained.
I thought it through over in my head quickly, and that was a sound idea.
"Alright man, let's do this." I said, leading the way.
We split up in the middle of the road and walked 30 metres apart. Luckily, it was in the middle of a market so we wasn't easily distinguishable. I kept my head low, and my mouth closed. If a fellow pony waved, smiled or said hello, I simply nodded with a quick smile.
I couldn't draw attention to myself at this time. I was a suspect to a massive incident, and getting caught out now would be serious proverbial shit hitting the proverbial fan.
We both walked in unity until we got out of the market. Once we got to the other side, we both turned a corner and bolted it for five minutes.
"That was fucking close. I like to limit my contact with that pony at all costs." I said to him as we galloped towards the hospital.
After our five minute sprint, we slowed down and returned to a stroll.
We decided to go to the hospital, as that's where one of us at least. We walked in inconspicuously and got to the room that Barrel was being held in. We walked in and closed the room door behind us.
Barrel was asleep, with Star sat beside him.
"Oh, so there you are." I said to Star, in a quiet tone.
"I've had enough of skydiving without parachutes today if you didn't mind." Star snapped.
He wasn't happy that we fell.
"I fell too you know. And I have a phobia of heights, so that was the cherry on top. No offence." I said to Star, turning to Armstrong mid-conversation.
"No worries. I'm just glad that I caught you and Rainbow caught Star." Armstrong added.
"Hmmph." Star sulked as he turned back towards a sleeping Barrel.
Or at least he was doing a good job at faking it. But I saw his good eye twitch upwards. That means he is purposefully closing his eye.
"Besides, we are all here now. And we need to summon Q." I said.
"Q? Who is that then?" Star asked, in the same blunt tone.
I clear my throat so that Star turns towards me once more. I mouth "Discord" without saying it, so he knows who I am actually on about.
Star nods back, so he clearly understood what I said.
I walked over to the Patient Report that was stored in the basket at the end of Barrel's bed and picked it up. I skimmed through the grisly details, but it seemed that his practice was much better. He could have left two days ago. But I think he must have enjoyed Fluttershy's company a bit too much.
I tapped Star and Armstrong so that they were looking at me. I mouthed to them "watch this" and they looked at me to see what I did next. I opened the door and feigned some clopping sounds so it sounded like an approaching pony.
"Oh hey Fluttershy..." I say to myself, clearly audible by Barrel.
I waited a few seconds so it did seem like would-be Fluttershy did give me a response.
"No, unfortunately. He's requested that we look after him now. Thanks for checking up on him though, he really appreciates it. I mean he REALLY does." I continued, with both Star and Armstrong struggling to not laugh.
Barrel instantly rustled into life and stretched his forelegs.
"Ahh, afternoon guys. Did I miss anything?" Barrel says, pretending to have not heard our previous conversation.
"Okay, bye Fluttershy! Oh, by the way..a Barrel said he would like to buck you sometime. " I finish as I hold the door slightly ajar.
"NO I DON'T!"
Barrel was instantly out of bed, pushing past me and was through the door, scanning the hallway for Fluttershy. But there was nothing.
Me, Armstrong and Star burst out laughing as Barrel walked back in, blushing with a face of frustration.
"Morning sleepy head, want some pancakes in bed?" I laughed, trying to stop the tears forming in my eyes.
But it wasn't working, tears of laughter were streaming down my face as I continued to belly laugh.
"Yeah right lads, laugh it up, enjoy your night..." Barrel smirked, trying not to laugh himself.
"It was just the way you raced out of bed, from being in a nearly comatose state..." Star added.
"I didn't want to look like a dick, okay?" Barrel snapped, returning to sit back on his bed.
"Come on man, I wouldn't do that to you. And I saw your good eye twitching, so I knew you were awake." I said to Barrel, rubbing tears from my face.
Barrel continued to sit there and sulk.
"Since we are together again, I suggest we take off. We got a heist to plan."
The Golden Oak Library Job
"And the plan is...?" Barrel asked again, for the third time.
"Ugh, right. We need the scroll to summon Discord, as we won't casually bump into him in Ponyville. So we need to steal the scroll, get it to Star so he can cast a Duplication Spell on it, providing a way for us to communicate with him whenever we like." I explained again.
"Right, I got that. I just want to clarify how we manage to get that spell? Princess Twilight is a fucking Alicorn for Christ's sake. One Earth, two Pegasi and one Unicorn are planning to steal a highly secured spell... I do apologise if I sound a bit reluctant." Barrel replied.
I sighed heavily. This was going to take a fortnight to explain to him. Star was ready, and loading up on appropriate spells and Armstrong was in his new fire-proof flight suit. Apparently it was precisely stitched by Rarity herself and then enchanted by Princess Twilight, for extreme fire-retardant capabilities.
"So, the plan of action is..." I continued.
I pointed to a crudely drawn battle-plan that was scribbled on a "Tourist's guide to Ponyville" flyer we had laying around.
"As you know, I'm a suspect in the explosion that happened the other week. So Applejack keeps trying to interrogate me. But if word gets around that I have a Harmonious Crystal in my possession while I'm in town, I'll have instant Five Stars, if you know what I mean." I explained further.
Barrel simply nodded and waited for me to continue.
"So, I have had Star enchant a rhinestone to look similar to a Harmonious Crystal, and incase it in a pendant that looks like it can augment my abilities. But it's all smoke and mirrors. It can grant me slight teleportation, and provides an anti-magical field for short periods of time, despite me being an Earth Pony. Armstrong will run into the library and dob me in, saying that I am causing havoc in town with my newfound powers. Following me?" I told Barrel again.
"Yeah, I got ya. But how do we get the scroll?" Barrel questioned.
"As I lead the Mane Six away, as they'll all be on my tail, you and Star get inside the Library. Star will cast a Time-Dilation spell, but only for a very short time, as it is an expert level spell. So, Spike and the owl shouldn't give you any problems. Once you find the scroll, get it to Armstrong. He'll be doing laps of the neighbourhood and he'll go through Tornado Valley with it, losing any tail he'd have following him. You get the hell out of Ponyville and you will meet up behind Canterlot Mountain with Armstrong." I explained, finally.
"That sounds good so far, but how are you going to get away from the Six Elements of Harmony? If that is even possible... And what about Star?" Barrel said unenthusiastically.
"Don't worry... Since we have pretty much finished the construction of The Excalibur, we have whipped up our own little treat. A grand finale, if you like." I smirked.
"Okay, so when do we do this?" Barrel questioned.
Armstrong approached Barrel from behind him and placed a hoof on his shoulder.
"In about five minutes... Suit up." Armstrong said in a monotone.
"Let's go and piss off the fuzz."
________________________________________
I stood behind Sugarcube Corner and watched the town do it's daily routine. It was 12:36pm so the town was bustling. I saw Armstrong in the distance in front of me, waiting for my signal. To my left, I saw Star and Barrel hiding as well. Star was going to be the one to give the proper signal. I took a deep breath and walked out. I walked contently with my rhinestone pendant hanging from my neck.
I scanned for a empty stall within the market that was open today, and I luckily found one. I faced it for a few seconds and then turned around. Star and Barrel were now directly in front of me. Star stood up and mouthed "You ready?" to me. I nodded slightly and closed my eyes. Star then charged a dark green spell and cast the bolt directly at me. I felt the faux magic flow through me as I started to levitate slightly.
I was now a flying magic battery. Most of the town was staring at me at this point. I turned slowly in midair and looked at the middle stall. I raised my forelegs and brung them down harshly as if I was a Sith Lord. The fake magic bolted from the end of my hooves and struck the market stall, disintegrating it and sending debris all over the market. Though Star made sure it did not strike anybody.
As well as charging me with a Expulsion Spell, he also gave me a voice changer. So now I sounded like a Goa'uld from Stargate.
"Behold my unlimited power! Now bow before me, Ponyville!" I shouted as loud as I could.
That was the cue for Armstrong to burst in the Library and warn Princess Twilight of my "rampage". I could see him from where I was hovering, so I knew exactly when to get Star to drop the Levitation spell and make a break for it. As typical as Ponyville was, the whole market burst into total pandemonium. Ponies were bumping into each other, and stalls were being knocked over left and right.
I looked up and saw Princess Twilight nearly running outside her Library door and stop in her tracks when she saw me. We shot each other a thousand-yard stare across the distance. Her expression instantly tightened and she took off from the ground, charging at me with full speed.
"NOW!" I shouted as Twilight took flight, and Star instantly dropped the Levitation Spell and ran towards the direction of Twilight's Library, pretending to look scared.
I hit the ground softly and darted in the other direction. Because of me not having wings or magic, I learned to get fast on my hooves. But I could hear Twilight's repeated demands to stop getting closer.
I turned a corner and hesitated for Twilight to turn the corner, as soon as I saw the purple blur, I entered my Vision. Like the many times I practiced, if I imagined a general direction to go in, the pendant would charge up and teleport me about 20 metres in that direction. I turned around to see Twilight's face drop.
Well, it isn't everyday you see an Earth Pony teleport without assistance from another Unicorn nearby.
"Circuit learned how to teleport... Uh oh..." I mimicked in my Goa'uld voice at Twilight.
Now she looked pissed. She fired up her horn and instantly appeared in front of me.
"You won't get away from me!" Twilight shouted at me, running at full speed.
I turned and ran in the direction of Sweet Apple Acres. But as I was on my way there. I saw Rainbow Dash circling in the clouds above. I heard Twilight shout something at her, but I was too focused at running to listen properly.
Before I knew it, a rainbow streak came flying at me with unreal speed. I waited until the right moment and focused as hard as I could into going to the left. And the pendant obliged and teleported me to the left, avoiding Rainbow Dash easily. I turned to see Twilight charge a bolt of magic and cast it right at me. At that point, I imagined I was in a thick bubble. And the pendant took this as my anti-magical shield Star also placed in the rhinestone.
The magical bolt just dissipated into thin air one foot in front of me. I just smirked darkly and kept running.
________________________________________
"Have you fucking found it yet? I cannot keep this spell up for long!" Star shouted, straining as he kept the spell active.
"I'm fucking looking!" Barrel said, ruffling and unravelling scrolls in Twilight's collection.
Barrel opened a certain scroll that contained a shimmering spell code that looked odd. But the word "Chaos" was hinted in the wording.
"This has got to be it!" Barrel shouted as he flew downstairs and straight outside.
He proceeded to catwhistle as loud as he could, and three seconds later, Armstrong landed in front of him.
"This is it. Go! I'll see you at the meeting point!" Barrel said as he handed Armstrong the scroll and Barrel watched him take off towards Tornado Valley.
Star then followed out of the Library, dropping the expert spell.
"Go on, I've gotta find Circuit." Star said before running in the direction of the shouting and commotion on the outskirts of town.
Barrel then took flight and flew towards Canterlot Mountain as fast as he could.
________________________________________
I was tired. I didn't want to run anymore. But when I looked behind me, I saw five furious ponies right behind me. It was taking it's toll on me. I had to imagine I was in a bubble, periodically launch myself in a random direction and sprint as fast as I could, at the same time.
But once I saw a dark blue magic flare shoot into the sky, I gained a slight feeling of relief and turned on a dime. I headed straight for the scrapyard on the outside of town. After avoiding magical fire, Rainbow's charges and the occasional lasso attempt, I was near the scrapyard. I saw it directly ahead of me and decided to use all of my brain power to continually teleport towards the doors.
I gained a bit of a lead and got past the doors. As soon as I past them, the doors were in a dark blue aura and were slammed shut. Star was holding them shut, whilst keeping them outside.
I just wanted to collapse at that point, I was so tired.
"Did you... Find... The... Scroll...?" I asked Star, gasping between words.
I was lucky I didn't throw up.
"Yeah man. Just, take your time a second. Catch your breath. We are gonna need focus for the grand finale." Star responded, straining with his magic further.
A few deep breaths later, I stopped hyperventilating and just breathed heavily.
"Okay... I think I'm ready... You good to go?" I asked Star.
"Mmhm." Star murmured, gritting his teeth. The Elements really wanted to get inside. It even sounded like Rainbow Dash was slamming into the doors.
"Alright. Let's do this. I just hope the Absorption Spell goes as planned." I said.
I turned behind me to see the instrument of the finale. A crudely made exo-skeleton capable of supporting one pony on their hindlegs. I stood inside and strapped myself inside the suit.
With my hoof, I clicked a button and the transformer on my back whirred into life. I stood up, feeling over-encumbered. Walking was difficult in this thing.
"On my mark... Three... Two... One..." I spoke slowly and clearly.
Star was losing the will to hold the Isolation spell around the scrapyard.
"MARK!" I shouted and charged towards the doors.
With perfect timing, the spell was released off the doors and I burst them open. The five ponies in front of me were stunned. I decided to make use of the surprise and ran to the back. I stood by lots of scrap metal parts and entered my Vision once again.
I was using the exo-skeleton as a magnet, encompassing myself in metal like a suit of armour. A few seconds later, the Elements, excluding Fluttershy for obvious reasons, also turned the corner.
"That's enough!" Twilight shouted as she charged a large spell.
I simply ignored her as Star stayed out of sight and continued to upgrade my exo-skeleton, which has completely hidden me by now.
"Final... Warning!" Twilight said as she strained, struggling to keep the large spell from discharging in a random direction and possibly injuring another pony.
I ignored her again. I could see through the metal in front of my face by using the Vision, but I only had a short time left. She took the silence as a threat and cast the large Disarm & Stun spell right at me. The spell wrapped around me as the exo-skeleton absorbed all the raw magical energy it had thrown at it. The transformer roared into life four times stronger than before.
I was now a huge super-magnet.
Metal was colliding with me and slotting into appropriate places so that it upgraded me further. I had to take steps to increase my height width. Half of the scrapyard was attached to me at this point.
The Elements stood in awe.
"Rainbow Dash, get Fluttershy! We'll need the Elements of Harmony to take him down!" I heard Twilight yell.
That was not good news. I had to wait until the suit had covered my completely and that I had disappeared from view. Once I felt it was ready, I smashed the rhinestone in my chest and it started to go extremely unstable.
"If I cannot harness this power, nopony can!" I shouted loudly underneath all the metal.
I was over 20 feet tall now. But the rhinestone's explosion was going to be real. But Star was observing and calculating it just right. I began to laugh maniacally, as the sign for Star to get me out of this massive exo-skeleton.
I was teleported from underneath the armour, to arrive at a hill nearby, but far enough away that we could not be easily identified. I anxiously awaited, as this whole plan was hinging on the next few moments.
Then, the torso of the exo-skeleton, where the rhinestone was, exploded. It wasn't massive explosion, or even pretty. It was just enough force to disembody the exo-skeleton and feign my death.
I watched as the armour collapsed under its own weight in front of the four Elements. I breathed a sigh of relief and turned to Star.
"It's done. Let's get back to the guys. Great work Star, couldn't have done it without you." I said, making us both smile triumphantly.
-----------
A few teleports later, we were behind Canterlot Mountain. Me and Star could see Armstrong and Barrel in front of us.
"You guys got it?" I asked both the ponies.
"Yeah, at least we think so." Barrel responded.
And Armstrong handed the scroll to me.
"Don't hand it to me dude! I'm not the magical one here!" I said, looking primarily at Star.
Armstrong gave Star the scroll and he looked through it contently.
"Still cannot believe we managed to pull that off man. But all that for one fucking scroll?" I asked myself rhetorically.
"Michael, Trevor and Franklin would be green with envy!" Barrel said as we hoofbumped.
"Alright guys, I think I cracked it." Star said after five minutes of intense reading.
We all stood back as Star cast the spell in the middle of the huge field...
Chaos in Numbers
Star charged the spell for a considerable amount of time. The blue hue on his horn was growing more opaque with every passing second. He then finally cast it, letting the built up magic expel itself from his horn and fly into every direction, before fading away. We waited anxiously. I listened intensely, waiting for a whoosh of magic, or the familiar snap of fingers. But many seconds passed, and there was nothing.
"Star... Did you cast the spell properly?" I asked him, hesitantly.
"Yeah, I read through it multiple times to make sure that I got every part of the spell perfect." Star replied.
There was no noises in our immediate position, but the awkward sound of howling wind. I wouldn't have been surprised if a tumbleweed rolled in front of us.
"Cast it again." Armstrong said.
After a few seconds of letting his magic recharge, Star concentrated as he cast the spell once more. One he had finished letting the spell charge for a few more seconds, Star cast it again. And we were greeted by that awkward wind once more.
"FUCK IT!" I shouted in anger as I kicked the ground with my hoof and stormed off.
After a few moments, and one more attempt from Star, I walked back and laid on my back in frustration.
"Sooo... We risked our lives and ruined our reputation so that the wanker won't appear?" I said in a sarcastic tone.
"Now, when you say it like that, you make it seem like I'm much more of a bad guy."
I immediately jumped up when I heard that familiar voice, but all I was greeted with was a mirror image of myself. As I tilted my head in confusion, the mirror image did the same, but in the opposite direction. I raised my right hoof slowly, and the mirror image raised its left hoof.
"Besides, when you ring my doorbell more than once, it won't make me appear any faster..." The mirror image said, but in Discord's voice.
"Discord." Star said from behind me.
There was a flash of light, and then two mirror images were stood in front of us. But it was me and Star. Not Armstrong or Barrel, yet anyways.
"Quite right. By the way, I was pleased with your tremendous performance a few minutes ago. Absolutely astonishing." Discord said, using both of the mirror images he has created.
"What performance?" Barrel asked.
As you could have guessed, there was now three images. Stood in the exact same pattern the four of us were stood in, apart from Armstrong, as he remained quiet.
"Oh you know..." Discord trailed off as we heard a snap of fingers and saw a flash of light.
"That little act of thievery you just committed to get my attention." He continued.
When we could see again, the three mirror images of Star, Barrel and Me were now wearing black duffel bags over our shoulders, Star was in a suit, Barrel was in casual clothes and aviators and I was in tattered and dirty clothes. I then felt a strange gust of wind hit us, and when I looked down. I could see that I was wearing the same clothes as my mirror image.
"Yeah, that was so we could talk to you." I continued, ignoring the change of clothes.
And I stank like shit. Like if I didn't shower for three months.
We heard the snap of fingers again, and the three mirror images morphed together to create Discord's true Draconequus form.
"Well, you have earned an audience from me..." Discord said, sitting in a cinema chair.
"First, could you give us our normal appearances back?" Star asked.
"But could I keep the aviators?" Barrel said before Discord could snap his fingers.
There was the infamous snap of his fingers, and we were back to normal. And Barrel was very satisfied with his new pair of aviator sunglasses.
Although I never understood why he wanted them, as he was blind in one eye.
"Discord, what do you know of Harmonious Crystals...?" I asked him, not rushing to the fact that we have ten of them in our possession.
"Those crystals that explode? That you have ten of?" He replied, wittily.
'Fuck it.' I thought to myself. I really wanted to keep some of that secret, but then again... This is Discord we are dealing with.
I sighed heavily.
"I guess you saw that too..." I trailed off, looking at the ground.
"I did indeed. At this pace, you four shall become my Apprentices of Chaos!" Discord said, then he began to laugh maniacally.
"I've already been an apprentice. And it really isn't fun." I scoffed, causing Discord to stop laughing and wipe a single tear from his left eye.
"Well, if you are not going to be my apprentices, what do you want from me?" Discord continued, rolling up the single tear to become a bat with a pig for a face.
"We'd like to ask you for a favour..." I asked sheepishly.
I wasn't really sure what I was getting into. But we were all about to find out.
"You want Chaotic Crystals, don't you my boy?" Discord said, smirking.
He already knew exactly what we wanted. Discord petted the bat-pig that was hanging off his tail upside-down.
"Yeah. Anyway you can help us with that?" I asked further.
Discord snapped his fingers and the bat-pig disappeared.
"Yes I can. But you must be obliged to help me. Eye for an eye and all.." Discord said darkly, as he rolled one of his eyeballs out of it's socket and began spinning it on his finger as if it were a basketball.
"Alright, what do you need?" Armstrong said finally.
"I want to give Auntie Tia a bit of a surprise." Discord said, with an even more dark look on his face.
Although it was quite funny, as he still had an eye spinning on his finger.
"We are going to to do something to Celestia..? Oh shit..." I said, anxiety building inside me.
"Just a harmless prank, that is all..." Discord said finally, before placing his eye back in his head.
________________________________________
"That's all..." Discord finished with his work, and took pride in what he had created.
"You've got to be fucking kidding me." Barrel deadpanned.
"Nope. This is happening." I reply back to him.
We were currently stood in the middle of a massive field, trying to gain balance of the third body we have been converted into. Discord converted us into Draconequus' for his little prank.
Four of them.
I just hope this didn't go too far and end up with us getting discovered as our true Human forms, or worse, obliterated by Celestia and Luna as soon as we teleport into their Throne Room. Discord decided that all four of us should have a share of his Chaos magic, so we could defend ourselves. But mostly to mess around with, bringing inanimate objects to life and the such.
And we all look the same. But when we look at each other, the magic tells us who we are looking at. So I know who I'd be talking to if there were two or more of us in the same room. I was very scared of what was going to happen. But Celestia knew for a fact that Discord could not duplicate himself, so we were going to try and have some fun with this.
"Oh goodie, this is going to be so much fun!" Discord nearly squeed, which was very out of character.
All four of us just stood there, staring at him unenthusiastically.
"Come on fellas, cheer up! We get to have a good ol' mess around with Celestia!" Discord said again, using his hands as binoculars to look at Canterlot.
"I'm good with the idea, as long as we don't get locked in Tartarus. Or killed." I said, stepping forward.
"Or both, I would imagine." Discord happily added on the end.
I did a double-take on Discord's last statement. So apparently it was possible to die horribly, and get locked up in prison-hell. I'm guessing that you do not want to drop the soap in Tartarus.
"Here we go!" Discord said as he rubbed his hands together.
One snap of his fingers later, he was gone.
"Um, what now?" Star asked, as all four of us stood idly.
"I think if we give it a minute, we'll be right-"
Before I could finish, the four of us were teleported through the weirdest bend in spacetime I have ever seen. I then ended up stood in Luna's bedroom.
Alone.
And she was still asleep.
"-in the middle of the shit." I said to myself, finishing my last sentence rhetorically.
I tried using the thought communication magic that Discord taught us.
'Uhh, hello? Is there anyone else in here?' I thought to myself.
'Woah, Circuit, is that you?' I heard in my head, with the voice of Armstrong.
So telepathy did work. That was pretty cool.
'Where are you dude?' I thought to myself again, as I contemplated starting a full Dubstep Set in Luna's room. As an alarm clock.
It was only a snap of the fingers away.
'I'm in Celestia's room.' I heard Armstrong say.
'I think this is Twilight's brother's room...' I heard Barrel add on the end.
'And Star?' I thought.
And we all waited for his response.
Nothing.
'Alright guys, you got something planned for your room?' I said in my mind.
'Yeah.' I heard both Armstrong and Barrel say.
'Three... Two... One...' I thought to myself as I snapped my fingers, summoning a EDM booth in the corner of her room.
As I as counting down, I had placed strobe lights, disco balls, speakers and subwoofers all around Luna's pitch black room.
'Time to go crazy.' I though to myself.
I then gave myself tinted glasses and headphones like Vinyl Scratch and stood behind the EDM booth. I grabbed a microphone and took a deep breath.
"NOW THROW YOUR X UP!" I shouted into the microphone as I pressed a large play button on the EDM booth.
Luna groggily lifted her head up as there was a booming voice that shouted "x" before proceeding to the drop, shaking the castle room.
The strobe lights flickered to life and shone proudly across the room, refracting occasionally off the disco balls. The bass reverberated continuously around the room, making Luna leap out of her skin when the drop...
Well...
Dropped.
"I do love a classic, don't you Luna?" I shouted into the microphone as she looked at me with a fiery rage I have never seen before.
She was going to tear me limb from limb.
"Well, I do hope you enjoyed my set, but I have a tour to continue. Fair well!" I spoke loudly before snapping my fingers to teleport to Armstrong's location.
Once I arrived in Celestia's bedroom, I saw Armstrong wrapping everything in tin-foil. And I mean everything.
"What the fuck? You do know she can rid of this with one spell?" I said to Armstrong as he concentrated.
"No... I've done a bit of Chaos magic on this. Try and pull it off." Armstrong said to me, not even breaking sight with the last bit of wrapping he was doing.
I walked over to the Discord lamp Armstrong had made and picked it up. I pulled one large strip of tin foil off, for it to reappear. Twice.
"So... It is similar to relighting birthday candles?" I asked, dropping the shred of tin-foil.
"Mmhm." Armstrong hummed as he finished the last object, which was the logs in the fireplace.
"Done. What did you do?" Armstrong asked, standing up.
"Woke Luna up with Autobot sex noises." I smirked.
But Armstrong stared at me blankly, as he didn't get the reference.
"I blasted dubstep in her room. Strobe lights and everything." I added, and Armstrong finally caught on.
"Wouldn't she be pissed...?" Armstrong asked, as he turned towards me.
As I was about to reply, we heard something thunder down the Royal Halls of this section of the castle.
"DISCORD!" Luna shouted in the old Canterlot Voice.
"Yeah... I disrupted her slumber." I said sheepishly.
"Find the others?" Armstrong said hastily, as Luna was looking for us. Or Discord, as far as she knew.
"Yep." I said as we stood together and I snapped my fingers.
We were then stood in the middle of the Throne Room, with two other Discord's in front of us and a third Discord stood beside us. One of the two in front of us was Star, so he was with the original Discord. And Barrel had teleported beside us. Discord turned around and saw the three of us stood there.
"Good afternoon Discord! Would you like to join in the game of 'Guess the Discord?'" Discord asked enthusiastically.
"But of course, Discord!" I said, trying to keep to my best Discord impersonation.
The good thing about this spell, is that we all sounded like Discord, so none of us could be distinguished by our voices. All five of us then stood in a line in front of a very unimpressed Celestia, sat in a rotating throne.
"Ready, your Highness?" Discord asked rhetorically.
Celestia could do nothing but give Discord a death stare. Discord did his infamous finger snap, and we all swapped places. Again and again, faster and faster. It was similar to the 'Ball in the Cup' game. But trying to spot which Discord was real, as we teleported about rapidly. After we came to a stop, I looked the Discord to my left, to find out that it was Barrel.
"Discord, am I the real Discord?" I asked Barrel, teasingly.
"I am not entirely sure, Discord. Let me phone a friend." Barrel said before putting a banana to his ear.
The Discord on the far left, which was Armstrong, heard a vibration and brought a similar banana to his ear.
"Hello? Discord here." Armstrong answered.
"Afternoon Discord, it's Discord here. I'm just calling to ask you which Discord is the real Discord. Discord to my right asked me, but I am unsure. Could you tell me, Discord?" Barrel asked back.
"Let me think on that Discord. One second, let me ask the audience." Armstrong said while smirking.
Armstrong lowered his banana phone and whispered to the Discord to his right, which was the real Discord. After a few seconds, Armstrong put the phone back to his ear.
"I'm sorry Discord, me and my friend Discord are not sure. Discord did mention that perhaps the Discord in the middle may be the real Discord. Could you try asking him?" Armstrong replied, smiling stupidly.
"I will do that! Thanks Discord." Barrel said before putting the banana back in his pocket that didn't exist.
"So what did Discord say, Discord?" I asked Barrel, certain that this was either confusing or annoying Celestia.
"Well Discord, Discord said that the Discord in the middle could be the real Discord." Barrel said, making sure to not trip over his words.
"Discord in the middle! Anything to say about this incident involving Discord?" I shouted to the middle Discord, which was Star.
"ENOUGH!" Celestia shouted in her own Canterlot Voice.
"Oh my Discord, it seems that the almighty Princess Celestia needs assistance in solving our Discord problem!" Discord said to the rest of us.
"I shall give you a fifty-fifty, how does that sound?" I asked Celestia before snapping my fingers, turning Star and Barrel's Draconequus bodies a shade of red.
"Hey Discord! Discord's guess about the Discord in the middle was wrong!" I shouted to Armstrong from the other side of the line.
Armstrong looked at Discord and tutted while shaking his head.
"I have no words for you right now Discord, your Discord-guessing skills are worse than Discord himself!" Armstrong said to Discord.
We were all really enjoying this. Apart from Celestia, that was bound to her rotating thone.
Before anyone could say anything else, a furious Luna burst through a set of double doors at the opposite end of the room.
"Sister! Are thou okay?" Luna shouted before seeing five Discord's in front of her.
"Discord! What is the meaning of this!?" Luna shouted at us, looking at every single of us.
"Don't worry Discord, Discord's got this." I said to Discord as I walked forward.
Luna immediately charged her horn with a spell of some sort, and was planning to cast it in the general direction of my face.
"Not another step, Discord!" Luna shouted, while focusing on on me.
"Trinity! Help!" I mimicked, as I took three more steps forward.
Luna then proceeded to release a flurry of spells at me, but I decided to give the guys something to laugh at. Before the spells impacted me, I did the Bullet Time dodge on the spells, similar to the way Neo did. Complete with waving arms.
I stood up straight after dodging the spells and snapped my fingers, making a large spoon appear in my hands.
"There is no spoon." I said in an impersonation similar to Keanu Reeves.
Discord then proceeded to teleport beside Luna and pointed his fingers beside Luna's head.
"Dodge this." Discord said before snapping his fingers, making Luna teleport elsewhere.
My mouth dropped open as there was no way in Tartarus that he knew that reference. He then walked forward slowly, snapping his fingers again, making shades appear on his face. Discord then proceeded to stand in line with all of us again and we all looked directly at Celestia.
"Oh, where are my manners. I'm Discord, this is Discord, Discord, Discord and Discord." Discord said, pointing at every single one of us in succession.
"This is enough Discord!" Celestia shouted through gritted teeth.
"Oh, yes, I suppose. I guess I've had my fun." He said, less cheerily than he was earlier.
One snap of his fingers, and the Throne Room was back to normal, with Luna teleporting beside her sister.
"Ta ta for now!" Discord said sarcastically, before snapping his fingers, making all five of us fall towards the ceiling and fall through it.
When I opened my eyes again, I was in Pony form again, stood in that large field like we were before the prank.
I looked around to see that the rest of the guys were with me, with Discord stood over us. I shakily stood to my hooves, as I had to learn a quadrupedal body again. I looked up to see Discord spinning five Harmonious Crystals around his fingers, and they were deep red, similar to the state they were at before exploding in Barrel's face.
"Discord! What are you doing with those!?" I shouted, unsure if he knew what those things did in the presence of disharmony.
Before I could say anymore, the red became less intense and the horrible screeching stopped.
"Five Chaotic Crystals, yes?" He said proudly, levitating them in front of me.
"Yeah... That's it." I uttered, unable to believe that we had the five crystals we needed.
"I wish to know, why do you need these?" Discord asked, with a devilish look on his face.
"Well..." I started to explain.
But before I could even explain, Discord had already teleported away.
"So much for explaining." I added with a sour tone.
I looked down, to see the five Chaotic Crystals resting on the floor. I picked one with my hooves and it was so cold, dry ice was nearly visible.
"Well guys, that's that. We have all we need. Now we just need to build Excalibur." I said proudly.
"Sure, but how are we supposed to get back into Ponyville? All four of us are wanted, especially you two." Barrel said, pointing at me and then at Star.
"We can try sneaking into our place? Teleport into the loft or something?" Armstrong said out loud.
My mind snapped with a good idea.
"Yes! Wait until nightfall, complete the Crystal Core, fit it, test Excalibur and if she works, live in there until we are free and clear." I said.
"And if you cannot complete it?" Star asked.
"Then I hope I am not sharing a platform with you in Tartarus." I said dismissively.
"But ye of little faith, I'll complete it. I have my Vision and the night on our side." I added on.
"Christ man, we are building a spacecraft, not assassinating Twilight Sparkle..." Star hissed.
"That's not an option?" I asked sarcastically.
Everyone gave me a deadpan stare.
"Of course that was a joke... Maybe." I said as I gave Armstrong a side-stare.
"Star, you can get us into our loft?" Armstrong asked Star.
"I believe so. Couple of rapid teleports can get us in there." Star replied.
"I fucking hope so... I bet Sparkle is snooping around there right now." I said bitterly.
"Probably." Barrel replied quietly.
"Alright man, whenever you are ready." I said to Star.
I gathered all the Chaotic Crystals together in one pile and waited for Star to finish concentrating, as he was planning a teleportation route.
"Alright, ready?" Star asked us, slightly straining.
We all nodded at him.
Star then released the pent-up magical energy he had built up and teleported us near the Scrapyard, then down the road, and then even further from that in quick succession. After about five teleports, I caught glimpses of our cottage surrounded by ponies, to then be surrounded in darkness.
"Star... Did it work?" I whispered quietly, not moving a muscle.
Star proceeded to illuminate the tip of his horn slightly, so that we could see inside the loft.
"So we did make it." I sighed quietly.
I checked beside me to hear a slight clinking of crystals impacting each other.
And we brought the Chaotic Crystals with us.
"Just imagine if we left them in that field..." I said, trying to suppress a laugh.
All it was now, was a very long wait until nightfall.
"Star, how many ponies are around us or in the cottage?" Barrel asked quietly.
After a slight splutter from his horn, Star looked back at us.
"I felt about fifteen ponies. And there was a monumental amount of magic in one of them, so I assume that one is a certain Alicorn." Star said quietly.
"Sparkle..." I said sourly.
"You really don't like her, do you?" Armstrong said, nearly giggling.
"Gee, what made you think that, Einstein?" I said rhetorically.
The next few hours was agonisingly awkward silence, as we couldn't make much noise. We almost kept falling asleep, but Star kept casting spells on us to keep us awake.
Seven hours gradually passed, although it felt like thirty thousand years.
"Right, that's midnight. Let's go." Star said, trying to keep his eyelids open.
Star then charged his horn with the teleportation spell, and with a very bright flash of light, we ended up under the gazebo in our garden. There was quarantine tape everywhere, along with analysis swabs, clue markers and even some tools were missing.
"Thieving bastards. Anyway, to work." I said, grabbing some necessary tools that I had left.
I activated my vision, unlocked Excalibur's bay door and dragged The Crystal Core into the garden.
After about twenty minutes of tweaking, I asked Star to shield the five Harmonious Crystals as I fitted the Chaotic Crystals opposite. It was a tense scene, similar to defusing a bomb.
But it essentially was a bomb.
After the fifth Chaotic Crystal clicked into place and caused the Crystal Core to roar to life, I was relieved and decided I should fit it now.
We had Armstrong and Barrel as lookouts, with Barrel hiding in the roof and Armstrong circling in high altitude. Before I could properly lift the Crystal Core back under Excalibur, Armstrong landed in front of us in a fit of panic.
"Guys, she's coming. With armed guards. We must of hit a booby trap of something!" Armstrong said, turning a shade of white.
I left all colour in my face drain away. This was not good.
"Fuck! Star, help me get this inside!" I said quickly.
"Barrel! Get down here!" Armstrong shouted from the garden.
Barrel had spotted them too by this point.
"Fuck, she's running for us! We're so dead!" Barrel said, hyperventilating.
After lifting the Crystal Core inside the bay door, I scanned my surroundings for something to do. But our options were limited.
"Can't Twilight read teleport paths?" I asked Star, with a undertone of worry in my voice.
He nodded slowly, dread filling his face. I looked up at Excalibur when one idea struck me.
"Everyone, get inside!" I said, re-opening the bay doors.
Everybody piled inside, just as I spotted Twilight and her armed guard turning the corner at the end of the garden.
"OH FUCK!" I shouted, jumping inside the bay doors.
I scrambled for the seal button as Twilight charged at us with full speed. I luckily pressed it at the right time and it sealed shut, without crushing Twilight in the opening or locking her in with us.
"Oh fuck me. Is she still out there?" I asked, shaking.
Barrel poked his head above the tempered glass view slowly.
"Circuit, come and see this." Barrel said, quivering.
I slowly stood up and looked out the window. Armed guards had surrounded Excalibur from all sides and Twilight stood proud in front of us. The sudden realisation made a shiver flow through me.
"She's besieging us." I said coldly.
"Let's just fly away! You finished, right!?" Armstrong said loudly.
I simply shook my head and pointed at the Crystal Core on the floor.
"The bay that requires the core is underneath Excalibur. We're stuck." I said, with less emotion than before.
"So you're telling me..." Armstrong trailed off.
"Yeah. The only way we'll get out of here is if we hand ourselves in. And we don't have food or water." Star said coldly, like I did before.
We were trapped in our way out of here.
Talk about irony punching you in the face.
Claustrophobia
Claustrophobia, is the uncontrollable fear of small and cramped spaces.
The Excalibur was not large, or even big for that matter. So it was a little cramped when it came to the interior section. I am eternally grateful that none of us were claustrophobic, or I would have knocked them unconscious. Princess Twilight Sparkle had surrounded Excalibur with her Elite Crown Guard and we locked ourselves inside to stop us being interrogated, or worse, arrested.
It had been no longer than ten minutes, and I already wanted to rip her face off. I don't think I hated someone more than her.
"So now what?" Star asked, with a undertone of worry.
"Ask Santa Clause for his sleigh. What do you think, dumbass?" I sarcastically retorted.
Star winced at that, but I continued to ignore him and the other two guys.
I was staring outside the reinforced glass, trying to see where all the Elite Crown Guard was posted at. As far as I could tell from my position and awkward view, there were three guards by the bay doors, two on each side and a final two in front of us, staring right into the cockpit.
Right at me. Smug bastards.
And all of this was overseen by Twilight herself. She'd occasionally pace into view and inspect a tool or object that I had constructed, just to piss me off. Luckily I made the cockpit glass one way, so that it was glare-proof. Otherwise it would be awkward to see Twilight reading my lips and figuring out that I was calling her all the words under Celestia's Sun.
The bitch deserved it though.
I got down from the pilot seat and looked around all the cargo containers, hatches and scattered tools for some sort of option to help us. Like I did the first five times, I came up empty.
"Does this thing even have electricity?" Armstrong asked as he was led on his back, staring at the ceiling of the interior.
"Think of it like a car. It needs the battery to start. So I had Star construct a magical battery that had enough juice to fire up the Crystal Core and all critical systems before letting the Core take over. Why, what are you thinking?" I asked Armstrong, raising my eyebrows.
I couldn't raise only one of my eyebrows. And I resented anyone who could and showed it off in front of me.
"Does the battery have enough juice to run the thrusters for a short time, for us to get away?" Armstrong replied.
"Long answer: the battery cannot supply enough power to the Magical Field Injectors for the thrusters, while trying to sustain power to the mainframe and life support. Short answer? No." I said simply before sitting on my haunches in a tantrum.
I hated being so helpless, but the worst thing of all is what would happen to us if Twilight caught us.
Throw us in a Equestrian Correctional Facility for a few years?
Impound, analyse, dismantle and destroy all of Excalibur, including the plans?
Deliver us to Celestia and Luna herself so that they can judge us themselves?
I really didn't know, and I was scared to find out. But I was content with being sealed inside Excalibur. At least I knew I was quite safe. Speaking of safety, how long did I program the emergency life support to be active for?
...Fuck.
"What do you want from us?" Star shouted through the crack in the bay doors.
"Twilight wants to talk to you four ponies. She has things to ask you." The burly Captain responded with a gravel in his voice.
"Yeah, talk." I said while raising my forelegs in the air as I said "talk", imitating quotation marks.
"Fuck that, she'd have us tied up, tortured and all of our information mentally stolen from us!" Armstrong said a bit too loudly for my liking.
"Shut up you fucking idiot!" I snapped at Armstrong through gritted teeth.
"Well, what do we do?" Star asked, looking around.
"I see two options." I said coldly.
Everyone else looked right at me and waited for what I had to say.
"One. We somehow manage to disarm all the guards around us, run for miles and miles, exile ourselves from Equestria, remain fugitives for all our lives and never see home again."
Everyone looked at me with a "are you insane?" type of look.
"Two. We turn ourselves in. Or one of us turns ourselves in on one condition; the rest are released without charge at all."
All of their faces dropped.
"Are you insane!?" Barrel said with a strain of anger in his voice.
"You do know that they'll keep chasing us unless we talk to them? We cannot get home if we are not fugitives. And to be honest, day-to-day pony life is better when you are not on the run." I retorted.
I mean sure, The Golden Oaks Job got us the scroll and aiding Discord in his mass-prank got us what we needed to finish The Crystal Core, but was it all worth it?
I was starting to think not.
All it gained us was wanted levels, our home and equipment seized, loss of what friends we had and now we were stuck inside the dead shell of a stupid idea. I sank to my haunches and placed my head in my forelegs.
"I just want to go home. I don't want to be chased all the time." I said, my voice quivering slightly.
My head was filled with so many conflicted thoughts at that moment in time, I wouldn't have cared if they killed us all.
"I'll hand myself in." Barrel said, looking down.
"Don't be fucking stupid, I'll do it." Armstrong replied to him.
"None of you are fucking doing it. I'm doing it. And you three are going scot-free. I'm going to make sure of it. I just need you to understand that if I do end up in some sort of jail, take as long as you need to figure out the way home. Just, don't forget me?" I said, a tear rolling from my eye.
"Great speech. Now, how about the best man?" Star said with the slightest of smiles.
"Yeah yeah, fuck you." I spat.
"Seriously though, if we are going to surrender, we need to do it rationally. Get our stories straight before we even leave this place." Star said, ignoring my insult.
I pondered the idea over. Perhaps we were thinking about this the wrong way. If we could pull it off as lost ponies, trying to find purpose, we could get out with no more than a slap on the wrist.
"Firstly, we need an origin story." I said thoughtfully.
"Needs to be somewhere without magic or flight, because we knew how to use neither when we arrived." Barrel chipped in.
"Griffins have flight, and Dragons have Firebreath which is a technical type of magic. How about the Minotaurs?" Armstrong said, surprising me that he knew about Firebreath.
"Yeah, that would make sense. And they are a mildly technological race. If they were the only sentient race on the planet, they'd be like us." Barrel replied.
"So, we were raised in Minotauria then? That's settled. When we came of age, our adoptive parents told us that we are not like them and we should have been from Equestria? How does that sound?" I said apprehensively.
"Sounds believable, I guess." Armstrong answered.
"At least then it's a quest for purpose, our Cutie Marks and maybe even our 'parents'. We could say that we are not entirely used to Equestrian Society, that's why we are kinda shunned away." I suggested.
"Alright, we will all stick to that then. And we were not born together. We all met in different circumstances." Barrel said.
"But do not mention Earth at all. And I mean references or anything." I said sternly.
"Well, duh. That'll blow our cover and we'll get done even more." Barrel replied.
"So how are we gonna go about doing this? Walk out? Fore hooves raised? Shout conditions of our release?" Armstrong asked curiously, with a hint of sarcasm.
"I suggest we ask what she wants to do. She might not even want to arrest us, she could just take us somewhere or something." I mumbled, tapping my hood on my chin.
"I fucking hope we are not instantly arrested." Barrel spat.
I walked over to the bay doors and cracked them ajar ever so slightly.
"Hello? Anyone?" I shouted outside.
No more than 10 seconds later, I saw that burly captain in front of me, looking right at me through the gap I intentionally made small.
"You had enough of stirring?" He said in that gravelly voice again.
"No, we've just calmed down. I want to speak with Princess Twilight personally." I retorted.
He simply huffed and walked away, without a response. I assumed he went to fetch Princess Twilight.
Two minutes later, a familiar purple figure stood in front of me.
"Princess Twilight." I said sourly.
"Mr Circuit Boost, it's a pleasure. I just hope that you wish to keep it that way." She snarked.
She was a bit more cocky than we was in the series.
"I have heard that you wish to have an audience with us?" I said, trying my hardest to not get sarcastic in anyway.
"Yes, I would like you and your three accomplices to come with me, on a secure train to Canterlot. We wish to have formal statements from each one of you, regarding yesterday's events." She smirked.
She was good. Very good.
"Then I would like conditions before we accompany. Or we will refuse complete co-operation." I said, hinting at a smirk of my own.
"Then name them." She instantly snapped.
"First, we are not being arrested in any way and I would like that in writing, signed by you. Second, I do not want you touching this project or anything relating to it. That even means illegal or dangerous equipment that may be installed or in the vicinity. And third, snacks on the train there." I smirked, as I could not resist saying the last statement.
"Deal, as long as you agree to my condition." She said, looking up, trying to act innocent.
I bet she's tried anal multiple times, the dirty bitch.
"Please continue?" I said, pushing the last thought to the back of my mind.
"Your interviews shall be in the presence of Princess Celestia, Princess Luna and I."
All blood rushed from my face to my heart. Now I was scared.
Stoning my best poker face possible, I agreed.
"Then it's settled. Let me explain what's happening to the others and we'll come out once we are done." I said to Twilight, backing away from the bay doors.
"Please, take your time." She said with a flat smile before I closed the gap in the bay doors, releasing my eye contact with her.
As soon as the bay doors locked together, I sighed heavily and turned towards the guys slowly.
"And?" Barrel asked apprehensively.
"We're going for formal interviews about the other day in front of three of the Princesses. And Cadence cannot make it. We're getting a train there once I-" I said before being interrupted.
"Interviews by Celestia and Luna!? Fuck that!" Barrel said, nearly screaming.
"Calm the fuck down! Stick to the back story, and we'll be fine. None of this is getting confiscated and we have even got food on the train there." I said, nearly smirking.
"Food? Oh man, I am so fucking hungry." Armstrong said, looking at his barrel.
"Exactly why I pulled that off. We cannot focus of we are hungry." I added.
"Alright, since we know, are we going now?" Barrel asked.
"Yeah, once we finish this conversation. I am guessing we will get escorted to Ponyville Train Station, board a private and secure car and begin our journey to Canterlot. Or what I want call it; Cunterlot." I said, giggling.
Despite the circumstances, we all had a bit of a laugh.
I opened the bay doors and waved my hoof up and down, and five of the biggest guards surrounded us.
"Comfy?" I said to the guard closest to me.
He obviously ignored my quip and stood attention to his Captain, that was approaching us.
"If you four would like to follow us. We have a train waiting for you." The Captain said.
We were in no position to put up a fight or run. So we calmly walked behind the captain, continuously surrounded in all directions.
As we walked through the outskirts of Ponyville, some of the townspeople gathered around and started commenting on why four ponies were being heavily escorted to a train that was heading straight to Canterlot.
Fuck the lot of them.
After a tense few minutes, we arrived at Ponyville Train Station. And there was a car with our names written all over it. And what I meant by that, was that it was covered in a dark blue magic hue, as if Luna enchanted it... Which she did. Anti-magic and momentum dampener field.
But it was loaded with food. So the four of us climbed aboard and we were surprised when the car was locked shut behind us, giving us the entire car to ourselves.
"If we weren't on the way to getting grilled by the Princesses, this would be heavenly right now." Mario said before getting stuck into piles of sandwiches.
"Yeah, it really would. And I think it's gonna take us about 5 hours to get to Cunterlot so we can feast all we like." I said as I laid across a double seat in the corner of the car.
As we all decided to get some food and tuck in, the train started up and we were away. And I was counting down every minute, until I had eaten five sandwiches and two cakes. It didn't surprise me when I fell into a deep sleep, because I didn't even realise how exhausted I really was.
I just hoped I could get some peaceful sleep before we get confronted by the Princesses.
Lucidity
My alarm was wailing to drag me out of my peaceful sleep, as I needed to get to work early this morning. I got up and looking at my digital alarm clock, I realised I was an hour late.
"Oh shit! Fuck it, fuck it!" I scolded myself before rushing to find my work clothes.
I quickly pulled up my trousers, rushed on my polo top, threw on a random mismatched pair of socks, slipped on my work boots, grabbed my ready-made work bag and walked out of the door. I walked all the way to my car without realising that I didn't refuel it after yesterday. Shame I had a jerrycan in the garage.
I decided to walk and grab the train as I had no other way of getting to work. And the station was no-where near my work so I was lucky. I walked along the grid-gravel towards the train station that was in the middle of a forest, which was a great place to put it.
I walked inside to see a three-headed pony and I asked him for a return fare for the day.
"Esaelp stib net eb lliw taht." He said to me.
I grabbed three pieces of paper and put them through the uneven window hatch.
"Uoy knaht." He said again before evaporating.
I read about those ponies in the paper, they were pretty intriguing. I climbed aboard the seemingly infinite train once it had gradually stopped. I looked up at the giant clock in the station before getting on board and I realised that I was now five hours late.
My boss was going to skin me alive. I hurried into the nearest car with an empty seat, which was a nightmare as some of them had no seats at all.
Empty cars.
Once I found one, I quickly strapped myself in and waited for the train to depart the station. Then I heard a muffled voice over what I could describe as a tannoy. As I listened in harder, I could start to make out the words.
"Next stop: Canterlot, Equestria."
Canterlot? I wasn't going there, I needed to go to that industrial estate where my work was...
...Where did I work again?
Nevermind, I'll find it tomorrow.
The train then started to roll out of the station, frightening me slightly. Why was I on this train again?
Oh for fuck sake.
I looked out the window and the landscape was going red and twisted. We must have been going through the Badlands. I twiddled my thumbs as I looked around, waiting for something to do. But as I sat there, bored out of my head, I saw a dark blue figure out of the corner of my eye peer around the corner and hide behind it again.
I looked towards that direction once again and stared at it for a good while, waiting for that thing to come back. Letting curiosity get the better of me, I got up out of my seat and walked towards the transition door that connects the cars together.
As I looked through the window, I saw that blue figure again, but it was leaving the car opposite. I climbed onto the next car and walked straight to the next door. And I could see that I was steadily catching up to that figure. I walked faster so I could close the gap quicker, as this blue thing was creeping me out.
Three cars later, I finally caught up to it enough to see it was another pony, but with hair that was on acid. It was spacing out and flying all over the place.
"Circuit." It said in a feminine-like voice before exiting the car with it's horn opening the door.
Circuit? I've heard that before, and not as a word. It was a name somewhere.
"Hey, wait up!" I shouted before running after the figure.
I entered the next car to see that the car opposite was missing. And they were about twenty metres long. As I walked closer to the edge, I could see the train tracks flying underneath me.
That would hurt.
I looked across the gap to see that figure stood majestically on the other side. I looked right into it's eyes, as it did to mine. I didn't break eye contact until it turned around, took flight and flew away from the train.
If I was going to catch up to that thing, I needed to make this jump. Twenty metres? I can make that. Easy.
I walked to the back of the car and took a long run up. My surroundings waved as I ran to the edge for the jump. When I jumped, the car I jumped from was gone.
I managed to realise that as I was halfway through jumping to the opposite car, somehow. I just wished that my feet would hit the floors of that car, and not the train tracks.
I closed my eyes as I awaited the impact and I landed on my feet perfectly...
...Mid way through the next cab.
I jumped over thirty metres and landed it...
I knew I could make that.
I continued to rush to where the figure was headed, and I now just realised that the train was now completely deserted. Not a single person in sight. All their possessions were still there, coats and phones included, just no people.
Must have got off at the last stop, I suppose.
In the next car, the figure was just stood directly in the middle. I caught my breath and walked closer after shutting the transition door.
"You're a fucking nightmare to catch up to, you know that?" I said.
"A nightmare indeed." It said softly.
"So, what's your deal? Why were you looking at me back there?" I asked, brushing my legs off.
"We want to know you more. You know Us." It said.
"I don't know you, I have not a fucking clue what you are. If I could guess, you are a pony with wings and a stupid horn." I retorted.
As I felt my annoyance increase, the world passed faster and faster for some reason.
"We are Princess Luna, and thou are Circuit Boost." It said to me once more.
"Circuit Boost? Who the fuck is that?" I demanded.
"It is you. Thou are in a dream." It said solemnly.
As soon as she spoke that word, "dream", the entire world bounced inward and flexed, similar to The Matrix.
Wait, I'm in a dream.
I pushed my finger against my palm and it stretched through like it was rubber.
Holy shit, I'm in my dream.
As the realisation hit me, my memories and subconscious rushed back to me. I knew who I was, where I was and what I had become.
I was a Pony-turned Human under the alias of Circuit Boost, living in the outskirts of Ponyville as me and three others figured out a way to return to Earth.
...And I was in my Human form.
Shit.
Wait a minute... If we know we are in a dream and have not yet awoken, I'm sure we have a greater chance of bending the dream physics to our will.
"What are thou, Circuit?" It asked me, snapping me out of my thought process.
Which I thought was complex, as I am already in a dream.
"You really don't want to know the answer to that question." I deadpanned, wiggling my fingers around.
"We are intrigued. Please talk to Us." She said politely.
This was the first time I had ever spoken with Princess Luna, and she wanted me to open up about everything. To hell with that.
"No. Why are you in my dream?" I asked her through gritted teeth.
Luna then looked down. She knew she was intruding in my dreams. And I can guarantee that the Purple Slut told her that I went a bit mad the other day.
"We knew of the incident that occurred, and others were concerned. Thou needed to be investigated." Luna spoke softly.
I was furious now. Investigate me? I caused a ruckus, nothing more! No pony was harmed in the stunt, me and Star made sure of that!
"By invading my personal world!? I don't think so!" I shouted.
I balled my hand into a fist slowly, but I could feel the train slowing dramatically.
"Leave my dream. Now." I said, dead seriously.
Luna simply closed her eyes and slightly bowed her head.
Before I could do anything, my surroundings were flying by me like I was in tunnel vision, until they stopped dead after a few seconds.
I was no longer on a train. I was in the middle of Ponyville on the day when me and the guys strolled into town.
However, Luna had not moved either.
Like before, I couldn't react. The world was thrown again and we were in the clearing where we all woke up. I looked around I could see all four of us on the floor.
The bitch was progressing further into my memories!
One more memory jump and we'd be back on Earth, and I could not allow that to happen. So I did the most logical and sane thing a human with no magical abilities would do.
I ran straight for Luna.
And I punched her as I hard as I could under the horn.
She was stunned, and took a few dazed steps back, putting a forehoof to her horn which has completely fizzled out.
I still stood there, balling my fists.
As I looked as her, she started to fade away into dust. Until there was nothing left of her.
Cracks of lightning then filled the sky and the clouds grew a deep shade of red.
"NOPONY STRIKES LUNA AND LIVES!" A familiar Canterlot Voice boomed across the forest.
Luna then rematerialised in front of me.
"NOPONY!" She boomed for the second time.
Well, shit.
I was now facing Luna in my own dreams. This was mere instances from becoming a nightmare.
If I wasn't there already.
Wait a moment...
This is MY dream. I control it.
I lifted my hand in front of Luna and proceeded to slowly clench my hand. The trees then began to bend and warp, in the direction of Luna, stopping her charge, that probably would have made me brain-dead.
The stronger I tensed my hand, the more trees and fauna encroached on Luna's position. She may had been ready to turn this into a nightmare, but I could alter my dreams.
I lowered my head and focused all my concentration into hovering myself above the ground. And when I opened my eyes, I was.
I was over three metres from the ground, suspended by my bending of reality.
I then thought of another idea, which was to open the floor beneath me as the woodland began to trap Luna. Before she began disintegrating them with her horn before my very eyes.
I brung my hands together and slowly pulled apart. The resulting effect was that the floor started to crumble and crack. I pulled harder and a small gap started to form. I kept pulling and it soon looked like a small crevice.
But I forgot she could fly, and she tackled me with her wings before I could react.
As I scrambled to my feet, she blasted me with something that made me feel very weird. As if I was in two places at once.
I was here, in this forest with Luna. But I was also somewhere else, paralysed.
I focused as much as I could to block the other world out, and after a few moments, it faded.
This was fucked up.
I mean, really, fucked up.
"Just stop!" I shouted, lunging at Luna and pinning her to the floor with some sort of force-telekinetic-thingy.
"You'll never take Equestria! NEVER!" She screamed, thrashing to move.
"I DON'T WANT EQUESTRIA!" I shouted back.
But that hit me. Hard.
She thought I was an invader, come to pillage her home, take all the power for myself. And all my actions recently have justified it thus far.
"I-I don't want... I don't want any of it..." I trailed off, as I felt my body go numb.
I released the hold-thing I had on Luna and collapsed to my knees.
I was sobbing. No, crying.
I was on my knees, and I was weeping.
"I just want this to all be over..." I sniffled, looking at my hands.
"I miss home." I uttered.
Luna just stood up and looked at me.
I looked up at her with tear-flooded eyes. Those eyes she looked at me with kinda told me that she knew what that felt like. I stood up and made the world around us dissolve and fade, until we were stood on nothing, surrounded by darkness.
"I don't want any of this. We never did." I mutter, as I looked into Luna's eyes.
Luna did nothing, but close her eyes and power her horn softly.
My world then started to fade away for the second time, until I was surround by white. And then it was too bright to see and I had to close my eyes.
________________________________________
I was groggy.
And I had one hell of a headache. It was worse than a hangover, it was that bad.
"Yo dude, you okay? You were twitching and mumbling shit in your sleep." Armstrong said from his chair opposite from me.
I looked around and I saw that I had fallen asleep on that train ride to Canterlot.
Was that a dream? Real life? I have no idea, and it is sketchy as it is.
I just knew that I was still on that fucking train ride towards the three Princesses.
"Dude?" Armstrong said, snapping me out of my daze.
"I'm good man..." I said as I looked out the window to see Canterlot approaching fast along with the sunrise.
I'm good.
... I hope we remain to be good on the train back.
The Interviews
The Interview
Canterlot was drawing closer, and my heart was getting closer and closer to my throat.
I had never been so fucking scared in all my life, and I have had my fair share of fights, stick ups and even assaults.
But this scared me more.
It wasn't a simple robbery, or a beating you had to endure for five minutes.
One wrong statement, and they could steal us of all our futures. Lock us in a correctional facility or even worse, chain us in Tartarus.
My whole life would be gone, all our efforts to escape our personal hell would be in vain.
I'd never see my family again, I'd lose the feeling of true freedom. The ability to pack your bags, book a flight and fuck off to another country.
And that scared me half-to-death.
"Dude, you've been staring out the window for ten minutes and you have not said a word. What's wrong?" Armstrong asked, tapping my foreleg.
"I'm scared, Armstrong." I muttered, not breaking my glare at the closer approaching city walls.
"We've got this nailed man, don't even worry." Armstrong sighed, sitting beside me.
"But I am worrying. I'm having the closest thing to a anxiety attack right now." I mumbled.
"If we do what we said before, we'll make it." Barrel said from across the car with a mouth full of a iced doughnut.
"Yeah... Yeah. We can do it." I said, feigning hope.
But I really knew what to expect, and to be very honest, I think the other three did as well.
Canterlot was now very close, as the city walls towered higher and higher over the train as we neared. And I was practically shitting myself at this point. Plus, this fucking headache was not helping in the slightest.
As the train started to pull into Canterlot Station, we had to go through about five security checks and two magical barriers.
I don't blame them after The Invasion and the return of-
...Oh shit.
That hasn't happened yet, has it...?
My thoughts came crashing down when the brakes were applied harshly, causing a deafening screech that startled me.
The train was now parked, and we had gone down a separate track that does not lead to Canterlot Station, so we must have changed tracks at some point.
All four of us were stood awkwardly in the car, starting at the magically sealed door.
"They gonna let us out? Because I have no problem being locked in a train car filled with food." Armstrong said, trotting off to grab a cake.
"Um, no water, Armstrong? It'd be awful to have all this food and no fucking water to wash it down with..." I said sarcastically.
My snide soon ended, as the door was thumped upon twice, reverberating across the entire car.
All four of us immediately jumped out of our seats, but continued to stare at the door in complete silence, not breaking eye contact for even a split second.
"Yeah...?" I shouted sheepishly, expecting anything.
"Wakey wakey!" That familiar gravelly voice shouted through the door.
"We're up, damnit." Barrel shouted back.
After Barrel said that, the multiple magical locks lowered and the door slid open slowly.
I swear we were greeted by half of the Canterlot Defence Force. There were a lot of stallions, armed with spears, magical swords and even experimental crossbows.
That's new.
The captain stepped forward and motioned for us to follow him.
"No funny ideas, yeah? These guys don't buck around." He said, staring at us.
"Yeah, because attempting something would be a great idea..." I said, full of sarcasm.
"Glad we understand each other. Follow me." He said as he turned around.
The armed guard he had parted slightly to allow all four of us to walk right behind the captain. As we got closer, some guards dropped back and surrounded us.
We were being guarded by some serious armour, so at least nothing could attack us.
After a few minutes of walking through the restricted areas of Canterlot, we arrived at the base of Canterlot Castle.
Oooh boy.
The captain was not phased by arriving and started trotting up the steps. We decided the best thing to do would be to keep following him, so we did.
All four of us didn't say a word to each other, as we decided prior that it would be for the best. 'You have the right to remain silent' and that sort of thing.
We walked through the big arch doors and ended up in the communal corridor and stairway of the castle. We continued to walk through the corridor until we nearly reached Celestia and Luna's throne room.
Which was heavily guarded, again, which I may add.
The captain stopped and turned to us for as the guard tightened their positions around us.
"You are about to be in the presence of the two most powerful beings in Equestria. No sudden movements, do not speak unless spoken to and speak with full honesty, and you'll keep your head. Got it?" He said, looking me dead in the eye.
I nodded slowly and the others followed. These guys didn't scare me.
Those two did.
The door slowly opened and revealed a elegant looking throne room, surrounded by stained glass windows archiving main events in our timeline of My Little Pony.
We walked forward slowly and I stopped looking at the windows to realise that they were both sat on their thrones.
My barrel was tightening, and this was not good.
We walked close enough to see them both just sat down, casually. Not a worry in the world.
The captain and the entire guard we had bowed simultaneously, which was quite impressive, until it revealed that me and the others hadn't bowed.
"Oh shhhiii-" I whispered as I nudged the others to follow my lead and bow.
"Your highness, your guests are here." The captain said with his best regal voice.
Which sounded like complete shit.
"Excellent, please show them their accommodations they shall receive during this transaction." Celestia replied back, simply.
"Of course." The captain replied and motioned us to walk back towards the way we came in.
As I went to turn around, I noticed Luna stood beside Celestia and to be honest, she scared me more.
But I looked into her eyes, and she looked directly into mine. Those eyes, I saw them before... In a...
In.. A dream...
That I had... On the way here...
That lucid dream....
Oh fuck.
This was not good.
I nearly started to hyperventilate as I turned around and the others looked at me to make sure I was okay. I was far from it.
Once we excited the throne room, I was nearly having an anxiety attack. I needed to get to where we were staying, fast.
We walked back into the corridor and walked upstairs towards what I could guess as the guest rooms.
After we ended up in a long corridor with multiple rooms, we were split up and escorted towards our own rooms.
"You'll have no contact with your friends until the interviews are complete. I will knock when the interview is about to begin." One guard said to me as he let me in my room.
I simply nodded and he reacted by shutting the door and locking it.
I looked around my room and it was very plain.
Nothing very fancy going on, and it was a single bed, not a double.
I made a beeline for the bed and collapsed on it. But that seemed to make the anxiety worse. I needed to find something to do and take my mind of it, no matter what it was.
There was a small window in the room and as I walked closer towards it, a green aura became visible around the entire window.
I bet they didn't want anyone jumping for freedom, or if they were not Pegasi, jumping for the floor.
Fuck that, suicide is cowardly.
I paced in my room, trying to think of something else.
I just hope the lads were coping better than I was.
I looked around again and I noticed the small chandelier in the middle of the room and I noticed that it was being powered magically, not electrically or naturally.
I climbed the bed shelter and inspected it further and I noticed that it was networked to the rest of the lights in this entire wing.
Something similar to a short circuit and a direction arc could fluctuate the magic on the window and damage it.
After all, I could use it to prove a point.
After bending the chandelier into the correct angle, I noticed the magic would ebb to and from the light.
With perfect timing and a conductor to reroute the magic, a magical short circuit would occur.
After ten minutes of searching, I found the supports of the bed were the same material, so I decided to break a shard off and use it as the conductor.
I set myself up and got a timing going in my head. After a few seconds perfecting the timing, I touched the conductor across the magic flow.
The conflicting magic welded the conductor to the flow-ways nearly instantaneously, luckily I was able to let go as it burned.
After the conductor had been welded, it looked for a path to return down and the closest option was the window's magic.
Magical energy flowed from the tip of the chandelier and started fluctuating the magic around the window.
Seizing the opportunity, I bucked the nearest chair straight at the window.
SMASH!
Result. It put the window right through, leaving no glass shards around the edges, so now escape was there if it was needed.
I drew the curtain slightly so that the wind blew them around, making it obvious that the window was open.
After that, my anxiety eased quite a considerable amount.
Plus the breeze coming in was very calming, so I decided to lay on the bed and contemplate what was needed for the CMQ.
I needed to fit the Crystal Core, obtain spacesuits or an air-right spell of some sort, and do a metric shit-tonne of test flights.
I do not want to go the way of The Challenger...
But once that is done, we could finally focus on getting home as we would have a high-tech advantage and start looking for where we would do.
Mirrors would be a good start I would assume.
As my thoughts trailed off on where the Equestria Girls Mirror would be located, there were three slow knocks on the door.
My brain then decided to cease to function, and my anxiety was back tenfold.
I got up off the bed, straightened my mane out and stood up straight as best I could.
"Come in." I said, trying not to quiver my voice in absolute fear.
The door opened and two guards immediately stood three metres in front of me, armed with enchanted spears.
I stood my ground, I didn't want to back away because that might have shown that I was easy to manipulate.
First to enter was everyone's favourite purple slut; Sparkle.
She walked in without a care in the world and a slight bounce in her step, levitating a scroll and quill in her magical grasp.
She levitated one of the chairs over to her and sat on it behind the guards, not saying a word or even shooting a look at me.
I however, was staring at her the moment she walked in until she was shifting in her seat.
Next to enter was Princess Celestia, to which I stopped staring, and inclined my head slightly, suggesting a faint bow.
She walked in elegantly and stood proud above Sparkle, smiling ever so slightly but keeping the neutrality that Alicorns tend to have.
The next pony to walk in made my blood run cold.
Luna.
She walked in, instantly noticing the 'open' window and stood beside Celestia, whispering something into her ear before returning to her neutrality.
"Name?" I heard faintly while trying not to look into Luna's eyes.
I shook all other thoughts out of my head, no matter how daunting or just scary they seemed.
"Sorry, say again?" I said into the room.
"Your name." Sparkle said plainly, not taking her eyes off the scroll.
"Circuit Boost." I replied, with the same amount of dullness in my own voice.
"Occupation." She quick-fired at me.
I needed to try and keep up with her pace.
"Engineer and inventor." I replied, glancing over the other princess as I said it.
"City of residence." Sparkle said next.
"Ponyville Outskirts." I said with emphasis on the outskirts part.
"Age." Sparkle said, repetitively.
"Twenty-one." I said, staring at Sparkle.
This is when her eyes finally left her scroll.
"Twenty-one...?" She asked me again.
"Yeah, there an issue with my age?" I added.
Her eyes glazed over me again and then they returned to her scroll.
"Country of origin." She asked. Now she wanted the juicy bits.
"Minotauria." I said simply.
Sparkle gasped and even Celestia's eyes widened.
"Did I hear that correctly?" Sparkle asked.
"Yes, I was raised in Minotauria." I replied, with confidence.
She swallowed and shifted in her seat before continuing.
"Cutie mark, brief description." She asked.
I cleared my throat, making her look up.
Once she looked up, I twisted my body slightly so that my blank flank was visible.
"Yeah..." I said plainly.
"I see." Sparkle added before scribbling more notes than usual.
I decided to look out the window that was still letting in a calming breeze.
"So, now that the unpleasantries are out of the way, we can start to discuss what happened the other day." She said, sitting up.
"Then please continue." I said, trying to remain stoic.
"May I ask what you were hoping to accomplish by causing a disturbance in Ponyville that day?" She asked, walking closer.
I grinned slightly. If Luna has already invaded my dreams, it's highly likely that she already knows.
"It's simple, it was all a ruse too allow my accomplishes to raid Golden Oaks Library and steal the Discord-Summoning spell that Princess Celestia granted to you." I said, smiling simply.
"Wait, you stole a scroll from me?" Sparkle nearly shouted, and I remained in my seat, not even flinching.
"Steal is a strong word, I'd like to say borrowing without permission. It is back where it was now, Discord made sure of that." I said, staring straight ahead, avoiding eye contact with Luna and Celestia.
"But what would you want with Discord? You do know that he has been reformed so he would be useless for your dark plans?" Sparkle said, with an elevated voice.
"If gaining our Cutie Marks is a dark plan, I hope your ready to charge the entirety of Equestria. Standard magic cannot assist in Cutie Mark magic. But we were willing to give Chaotic magic a chance. But as you can see, no dice." I said, still remaining neutral.
I had to keep my cool, no matter what.
"So what's that huge contraption that you and your friends were hiding in earlier?" She added, circling me.
"That is a project that is to help us gain our Cutie Marks, as we have a fair idea of what they are." I said.
"I know of three individuals that have been searching for their Cutie Marks for years, how are you so certain of yours?" She asked.
"Science. Notes and observations, Sparkle. Surely you should know that. And those 'three' have not picked up the signs before them." I said, contentedly.
"So what do you think they are?" Sparkle asked, levitating her scroll towards her again.
"I'd rather not disclose it, as I could be wrong. Superstitions and all." I replied.
"Superstitions and supernatural things are not real." She deadpanned.
But I knew she was lying. The episode of the Poison Joke proved her wrong. But I better not mention that at all.
"Then call it belief." I said simply.
"So what does that contraption do then?" She questioned.
"It allows you to touch the sky." I said, making sure I wasn't lying.
"Touch the sky?" She asked, confused.
"I'll explain or even show you once it is finished." I said, looking at her for the first time.
She looked right back at me before walking towards the princesses and gathering in a circle. Before I could even eavesdrop, a field was cast by Celestia that rendered them soundproof.
All I could do was sit, wait and twiddle my hooves.
After a few minutes, the field was lowered and Sparkle walked back towards me.
"After discussion with the other Princesses, we have decided to excuse the incident. We have already spoken with your friends and all of your accounts line up." Sparkle said, solemnly.
I nodded my head and bowed afterwards.
"Thank you. I do apologise for the commotion and interruption we have caused, and we will refrain from doing so in the future." I said, still bowing.
"I shall hope so. A train is waiting for you to return you to Ponyville. The guards shall escort you once we are finished." Sparkle said, opening the door and allowing the Princesses out.
I nodded once again. But I wasn't stupid, they were on to us. I bet Luna convinced them to stop it now, and allow us to carry on, considering what she saw in the dream we shared. So we had to be dead careful now.
I mean, why else would they let us go scot-free and even let us continue our project?
All I care about, is that we were not thrown into a prison or executed. But kinda know that isn't the pony-way of life.
Although we gave them free-will, so anything can happen.
The three princesses walked out in single file and shut the door.
"Just wait here for a few moments, then we'll escort you to the train." One of the two guards said to me.
"No worries." I replied back.
I got up out of the seat and approached the window to look out of it.
"Woah, ease away from the window." One of the guards said, slightly lowering his spear.
"Come on mate, they worse part of it is over. Why would I jump?" I just want to see the view." I said, defending my position.
He then realised that he was being a bit too overprotective and raised his spear back up and stood strong again.
I however, looked out the window.
And it was a pretty fucking good view over Canterlot. I absorbed the view for a while before one of the guards cleared his throat.
"We can leave now." He said.
"Then let's go." I said.
One of them opened the door and all three of us walked out of the room. I was then escorted back down the corridor, down the stairs, out of the castle and towards the actual station in the middle of Canterlot, and not the secret one.
As we got closer I could see three familiar figures already waiting there.
"Thanks guys, I can handle it from here." I said.
They nodded but stayed in position. I suppose that was to stop us doubling back and returning.
I trotted closer to the lads a cracked a weak smile.
"Take it we are not dead, unless the train is going to derail, Nathan Drake style..." I smirked.
"Or unless you're Tomb Raider... She makes wood explode..." Barrel sniggered.
"I suppose we should get back... We got a lot of tiding up to do." I said with an exasperated sigh.
We all climbed aboard and the train started up. I just knew that the Princesses were now on to us. At least they didn't lock us up.
Or lop our heads off.
Skimming the River
So here we were, on our way back to Ponyville.
Best part about it, is that we were not in boxes that were horizontal. And that fucking headache was gone.
I looked outside and saw that is was near sunset, and I just couldn't wait to get in my own bed and sleep for a week.
But I knew that we'd not do that at all, because we were so damn close to Exalibur's completion.
And that was a step closer to home. And once we are home, I'm booking a three-week holiday to the Bahamas.
And it was coming up towards the end of January in Earth-time. I can guarantee that all four of us have now been declared as Missing Persons.
I just hoped that coming up with an explanation for our disappearance would be the hardest thing to do.
I looked over to the lads and they were fast asleep. I already had my sleep on the way here, so I was not really that tired anymore.
But then again, I wouldn't really call it sleep. I updated my CMQ Checklist and continued to stare out the window.
This was the time where I would die for a iPod with my tunes on it. I had a brief glance around the car we were in and it was much nicer than our previous one.
Comfier too.
Besides, our last one would transport criminals and dangerous fugitives.
I don't think it would ever expect holding four ponies that were originally from a entirely different planet.
Well, we're not even ponies, are we?
This journey was going to take an age, so I decided to let the lads sleep and I just gazed outside the window, watching the world pass by.
________________________________________
After a dull five hours of staring out of the window, the lads woke up about ten minutes before we pulled into Ponyville station.
"Wakey wakey, shitlords." I said a little loudly, waking them up further.
Armstrong and Barrel moaned as the awakened, where as Star just got up.
"We almost at Ponyville?" Armstrong asked, groggily.
"Nearly buddy, nearly. You guys feeling a bit better now?" I asked, sliding a croissant to the three of them.
Armstrong instantly dove for his croissant, followed by Star and Barrel.
"Yeah man, feel more relaxed and rested now." Barrel said, with a mouth full of croissant.
"I'm glad. Too bad I couldn't sleep on the way back." I grumbled.
Those five hours were so damn boring.
But Ponyville was on the horizon, and it felt damn good to not be wanted anymore.
"Guys, not being funny but we should apologise to the other Elements for what we have caused in our quest..." I said, staring out the window.
"Good shout, no idea what AJ thinks of us now." Barrel said.
"Yeah, don't go losing your damn job. And I'll make sure that you don't lose your apprenticeship, Armstrong." I said, looking straight at Armstrong half way through the sentence.
He looked at me sheepishly.
"Yeah... Hope she isn't too pissed that I bailed on her and then aided you..." Armstrong said, looking down.
"She'll be fine. I think..." I trailed.
Before I knew it, Ponyville station was in front of me.
"Ponyville's stop!" I heard the train conductor shout out from the station.
"Sweet, let's go home." I said, getting up and walking out the door.
We were greeted by some dirty looks as we walked out of the station, but we didn't give a shit.
We walked tightly just in case those dirty looks escalated into something worse. But as predicted, nothing was done.
We had to walk ten minutes to our small cottage on the outskirts and it was still covered in tape from when they were investigating.
Lazy bastards.
I unlocked the door and walked inside, where they have thrown everything around, looking for clues or incriminating evidence.
"Yeah, thanks for clearing up after yourselves, you messy pricks." I curse into the room.
I tut and sigh as I walk in, place a cushion back into our couch and sit down heavily.
The rest of the lads come in and don't know what to do or where to sit so they stood there awkwardly.
"I'd say we should get some rest and clear up in the morning, but I bet our beds are upside-down and we already had our rest on the way back." I sighed, looking into the very messy room.
"Fuck it, shall we just clean now?" Armstrong said, scratching his mane.
"I don't suppose why not." Star replied.
"Fuck! Excalibur!" I shouted, leaping to get up out of my surprisingly comfy seat.
I instantly ran for the back door, unlocked it with haste and ran into the gazebo entrance.
She still sat there.
Unfinished, but still intact. A wave of relief rushed over me.
I trotted over to the combo-spring lock on the bay doors, entered the code and held my breath.
If the Crystal Core was gone, the whole operation and quest is burned.
And I would have Sparkle's head on a pike outside my prison cell.
The bay doors rolled and clicked as the folded to reveal...
The Crystal Core, with all twelve crystals still installed.
"Oh thank fucking Christ." I sighed as I slid to my haunches. I was shaking with anxiety and fear.
I immediately started to calm down once I knew that Excalibur and her core was safe, and still in our possession.
"Is she alright?" I heard a shout from down the garden.
"She's here, core and all. Thank fuck. Gazebo is a fucking state though. You guys clean the house, I'll clean out here." I said, staring at the mess before me from the comfort of the floor.
Oh boy.
________________________________________
"Ugh, finally finished!" Barrel said, sweeping the last parts of the floor.
"Yeah, only took us two fucking hours. To clean up a mess that we didn't even create. The wankers." I retorted, throwing the last bag of debris outside.
"Well, it looks spotless now." Barrel replied.
And he was right. It was flawless. You could eat your dinner off the floor, it was that clean.
I always took pride in a clean house.
I walked back outside and looked at the now, great looking garden, with the gazebo workshop looking fantastic.
And inside, was looking even better. Except from the tools they robbed from me earlier.
Never mind, I could now focus on finishing the Core and install it, finishing Excalibur.
But since it was about midday, I thought we should pay some of the Elements a visit and apologise to them. Or try to, anyway.
I walked back inside to see the lads sitting on the couch, having a rest. I also joined them, staring blankly at the ceiling.
"We should apologise to some of the elements. I don't want you guys to lose what you have got with some of them." I said plainly.
"Yeah, hopefully I don't lose my job." Barrel replied, staring at his hooves sheepishly.
"And I don't wanna lose my apprenticeship with Rainbow either." Armstrong muttered afterward.
"Well, why don't you guys go and apologise to them, and me and Star can crack on with what we need to do?" I muttered.
"Sounds good man." Armstrong said, albeit a little blunt.
"Hey.." I said, gaining their attention once again.
They stopped on their way out the door and they both looked at me.
"I'm sorry again. For everything we have caused and had to endure." I muttered, with a hint of sadness in my voice.
And I really was sorry. We had to endure a shitstorm since we have been here. I just hope that we can get Excalibur functioning properly so we can look for a way home much faster.
And if not find it, research it and create our own path home.
Because Equestria was starting to become unbearable.
They nodded and walked out the door, shutting it behind them. It was now just me, sat on my own in the living room.
I take it Star was still cleaning his room, so I didn't disturb him. And I didn't have a Element to apologise to.
Because Sparkle would get nothing but a certain finger from me...
If I still had fucking fingers.
I got up and walked outside towards my gazebo to check on what was needed next.
I looked on the table with the checklists and blueprints I created and I scanned through them thoroughly.
Every checklist was checked off.
Except two things.
Spacesuits and fitting the Crystal Core.
Well, I had the ability to do one of those things right now.
I spent the next twenty minutes making more tools that I needed for fitting the core and after I had reinforced them, I was ready to go.
"Star!" I shouted towards the cottage.
A few seconds later, he popped his head out of one of the windows we had facing the gazebo?
"Yeah? What's up?" He shouted back.
"Come and give me a hand with this. It's time to finish what we started..."
________________________________________
"Come on you bastard!" I shouted at the last pipeline, as I tried to screw it in at an awkward angle whilst holding the screw adjacent to it.
I'd either drop the screw at the last minute, or the pipeline would not line up with the thread properly until I did drop the screw. But I couldn't do one or the other. It needed to be nearly simultaneous.
"Can I let go of the core now?" Star strained, as he held up half of the core with his magic as I was led underneath it, securing it.
"Not.. Just.. Yet..." I said, straining with concentration.
A few seconds after I said that, I felt the thread screw into place. Realising my opportunity, I tried my hardest to get the screw in before I lost my grip.
Thankfully, I managed to guide the screw in and it was screwed in.
"Yes! Pass me the other three screws!" I said, holding my hoof out.
Star obliged, but strained a little more as he had to support a pretty heavy crystal core and pick up three small objects and levitate them to me.
But he did well, and I got my screws. I moved as fast as possible to secure what was left of the last pipeline.
"There! Last pipeline is in! Can you slide me the shell?" I asked, shimmying over slightly so the protective shell that also supports the core could fit.
Star flicked the shell towards me with his forehoof and I quickly pushed it into place so the bolts and holes aligned perfectly.
I secured all twelve nuts and screwed them as tight as I could.
"Alright, you can let go now!" I said, pushing myself out from underneath Excalibur.
Star released his spell and gave a sigh of exhaustion.
"Thank fuck for that." He said, rubbing his head.
"Sorry man, that last pipeline was a bastard to fit properly." I replied, brushing grease and sweat off me.
"So, is that all?" He asked, looking up at Excalibur.
I also turned around to face it.
"I certainly fucking hope so." I said.
"Shall we start it up?" He grinned.
"No, not yet. We are kinda in the middle of a populated area. And I call myself an optimist. Can't help to be careful though. I'll wait until the other lads are back from talking with the Elements and then we can test it." I said, lowering Excalibur off the jack.
"I doubt it's going to explode." Star sighed.
"Even so, the lads would love to see it's maiden flight, if she does one." I replied.
"Sounds fair enough." He replied simply before trotting off back indoors.
I looked all around to make sure that all of the outside panels were secure and airtight.
The bay doors fold in and out correctly as they should, and the passenger doors swing open without fault.
It was all looking great. All we needed now was spacesuits and to test the ship, without killing any of us, any inhabitant of Ponyville or any single life form in Equestria.
Woohoo.
And if Sparkle tries to stop us, I will fly this thing up her ass and crash land with her still on the outside.
She'd probably love that, to be honest.
I got back out of Excalibur and walked back inside.
When I walked back inside, I realised that there was an Element that I had yet to apologise to.
I had an idea to make up for what had happened, so I walked back into the gazebo, removed the magically-driven transformer I built, placed it on a trolley and wheeled it outside the cottage.
Before I set off, I ran back inside and grabbed the leftover cash I had from the construction of the Excalibur.
After that, I ran back outside, shutting the door behind me.
"I'll be back later, Star!" I shouted, knowing that he'd hear me through his open window.
Fifteen minutes later, I slowly approached the Carousel Boutique with wishful thoughts.
If I couldn't make it up to Rarity, we'd have to spend extra time finding a oxygen and personal space spell and combine them.
And that sounded like a complete ballache.
I walked up towards the door and knocked three times. I backed up a considerable amount and awaited those familiar lock clicks.
As usual, I heard them, but a certain Crusader answered the door.
"Hey Circuit!" Sweetie Belle shouted with a smile.
"Hey Sweetie, is your sister in? I need to have a word with her." I asked, with a friendly smile.
"Sure! Let me get her for you!" She said, with a cute voice crack mid-sentence.
I waited patiently for a few seconds as Sweetie Belle ran from the door, shouted upstairs and ran up the spiral stairs to speak with her sister.
I then saw Rarity walk down the stairs through the glass on the door. I took a deep breath and waited.
She opened the door and was instantly not impressed with who she'd seen at her doorstep.
"Rarity, please don't shut the door, let me apologise. I can explain my actions." I said, before Rarity could slam her door in my face.
Rarity cleared her throat and stood stoically and waited.
"All the events that happened, the explosion and the market scare was all so I could complete a project of mine. I know that sounds selfish at first, but it is so me and my friends can achieve our Cutie Marks. Without them, we don't believe we can fit in anywhere. So I beg for your forgiveness. I am truly sorry, Rarity." I said, without raising my voice to make it as serious as possible.
Because I really was sorry. And she could be a crucial part in our quest.
"We promise that we will not endanger anypony else's lives or cause any harm to anypony. We have nearly finished." I added on, since Rarity was giving me a chance to speak.
She simply looked at me and mulled over what I had just said to her. I could practically see the little cogs behind her horn turning.
"Hmm, apology accepted, I suppose." She said, with slight vagueness.
"As thanks, I want to present you with this." I said, motioning over my transformer.
"What does that doo-hickey do?" She questioned, opening her door slightly.
"I call it a transformer. You can power it with magic. And it produces an incredible amount of effort out of the other end. So anything for sewing, ironing, stretching or anything else you may need it for, it can be used for it." I said, wheeling it towards her.
She inspected it slightly and when wheeled it inside the door.
She was just about to close the door when I interrupted again.
"One more thing, Rarity..." I asked.
"Yes?" She said through the crack in the ajar door.
"Do you know how to make a fabric that is so tightly woven, not even air can pass through it...?" I asked, with a slight smirk on my face.
________________________________________
Three hours and two-thousand bits later, we had four suits that could survive in a vacuum. We made Rainbow and Armstrong try them out and they worked perfectly. I could make us helmets and oxygen tanks or magically enchanted masks for it.
But we were nearly ready, all we needed to do now was test the damn thing. But it needed to be away from everypony else.
I walked home with the four suits in a box and let myself in.
Luckily all four of the lads were sat inside too, all doing their own thing.
"Guys! I got things for you!" I shouted across the house so we could assemble in the living room.
A few moments later, we were all sat in the living room and I unwrapped the box.
"Armstrong, you know what this is." As I chucked his suit at him, which was one of the two suits that would fit a Pegasi.
"Barrel, here is yours. It is a spacesuit. I know it looks a little like spandex, but it is space-worthy. Just need to make up some helmets." I said, throwing Barrel his suit.
"Did you say... Spandex?" Barrel muttered, looking at his white spacesuit.
"This is Rarity we are talking about here." I said with a raised eyebrow.
"Very true." Barrel replied before looking back at his suit.
"Star! Here's yours." I said, throwing it into midair before it was enveloped in Star's magical aura and levitated over to him.
"Cheers. I suppose I'll have a unique helmet due to me having a damn horn." Star muttered.
"Yeah, I'll have to scratch one up for you." I said back, looking at my own suit.
"Oh joyful." Star said with a exasperated sigh.
"And about testing Excalibur's maiden flight, we need to take her out into a middle of a field so if shit does go Pete-Tong, nopony else will be atomised." I said, folding my suit back up.
"So that means dragging it, because we cannot fly it away. More joyful activities." Armstrong droned across the room.
"Yep. Such fun." I replied with the same amount of enthusiasm.
"When? Tonight?" Armstrong asked.
"Probably, once we chill out for a little bit. Because I am fucked right now." I said, sighing.
"Sounds like a decent plan. I'm going for a cup of coffee. Any takers?" Barrel said, getting up.
"Not me thanks, I'm going to crash out. Wake me up in three hours or so." I said, getting up and trudging up the stairs.
"No worries man, see you in a bit." Star said, not looking up from his suit.
I continued walking up the stairs, walked into my room and collapsed on the bed. It wasn't long before I had completely drifted off.
I liked being gifted with falling asleep easily.
________________________________________
"Come on Circuit, it's been three hours." I heard as I drifted in and out of consciousness.
"Huh... Wha..?" I muttered, waking myself up.
"You've been napping for over three hours, I reckon it's time we try it out." Barrel said to me, flying off my bed.
"Ugh... Cheers man. Let me just wake up a minute..." I mumbled, rubbing my eyes.
Barrel landed and then walked out the room, back downstairs. I sat up and stared at the wall in front of my bed.
It was time. And I was pretty damn nervous about it.
I got up and I instantly felt the nervousness reaching my legs. I was shaky.
I walked out my room to see the lads loading up for what looked similar to camping.
"Fucking hell, what did you guys organise?" I asked, climbing down the stairs.
"Excalibur is on a platform with wheels. All we need to do is pull her out of town, and we can fire her up." Armstrong said.
"It really is time." I muttered to myself.
I reached the bottom of the stairs and took a moment to look at the four of us.
We were really getting ready for this.
"Alright, let's head out." I said, walking out the door.
I opened the door to see that it was mid-evening, so hardly any ponies would be wandering or flying around at this time.
I looked to the left to see Excalibur, hidden underneath a huge tarp, on top of a large platform with wheels installed. Followed by four ropes that can be tied around each of us and pulled.
"Right, Barrel and Armstrong, you guys take the two outer ropes. Me and Star will do the inner ropes. I take it you have already found a adequate enough location to test it?" I asked.
"Yeah, already marked out and cleared. Just follow my lead." Star said, grasping all four ropes and tying each one to us.
Once we were ready, Barrel and Armstrong took flight and gave steering support. With me and Star leading the pull, we tugged with all we had.
Eventually, we got the wheels rolling and a little bit of momentum behind us.
And boy, was she fucking heavy.
Star would nudge me or point in a direction if and when we needed to adjust our course.
And it took a hell of a long time to get Excalibur to the location we were using to test her.
Once we were there, Star untied all of us, and ripped the tarp off Excalibur.
He told us to stand back as he focused all of his magical energy to levitate Excalibur off the platform and onto the ground softly.
"There. She's all yours." Star said, stepping back with the lads.
My heart was in my mouth. I walked towards Excalibur and slowly approached the passenger door. I pressed the code input and waited as the door dropped open slowly.
I stepped inside and looked back at the lads.
"If this goes fuck-up, it was a pleasure travelling to hell with you all." I said before pressing the button to raise the door.
They all stared and smiled at me. Expecting a miracle. I didn't even know what to expect myself.
I heard the doors click shut, and the green light become lit. I took a deep breath and creeped to the cockpit. I took a seat and looked at the makeshift navigations I had in front of me.
I pressed the ignition button, twisted it and held it in place.
With my feet, I pressed the throttle pedal while holding the the ignition button in.
Bwooooom. Bwooooom.
Nothing. So I tried again.
Bwoooom. Bwooooom.
I released the ignition button and clicked it back in at the same time I pumped the throttle pedal.
Various clicking sounds followed before a louder version of before.
BWOOOOM. BWOOOOM.
A few attempted later, I thought I should click the ignition and pump the throttle repeatedly.
What I heard then, shook me to my very core.
BwoooOOOOOOM!
It gradually got louder and gained a higher pitch before various clicking sounds followed it's silence.
One final this sounded before I heard a distinct hum from underneath me.
The lights lit up. The lads were running in front of the Excalibur, throwing their hoofs in the air and they looked like they were cheering.
I looked at the ground from the cockpit and it realised, it was moving.
Excalibur was moving.
She was flying.
We had finished her.
I felt a rush of excitement flood through me as I screamed and shouted in celebration.
Cutie Marks, here we come.
Death Defying Tests
"Somewhere out there in the vast nothingness of space...
Somewhere far away in space and time...
Staring upward at the gleaming stars in the obsidian sky...
We're marooned on a small island, in an endless sea.
Confined to a tiny spit of sand, unable to escape.
But tonight, on this small planet, on Earth..." I chanted to the skies, standing on top of Excalibur.
I then turned and looked at the lads who were standing beside Excalibur in the ground.
"We're going to rock civilization." I said finally, with a dark grin.
"Dude, that just reminds me of Motorstorm. That was ten fucking years ago, Jesus..." Barrel shouted up to me.
"One invention at a time." I retorted, jumping down from Excalibur's roof.
"Oh, so you want to invent motocross bikes and a dirt buggy?" Barrel said back, raising an eyebrow.
"It has to be a yellow buggy. And then we do a tour of The Badlands, The Everfree Forest and then finally Manehatten once it is falling apart." I replied, chuckling.
"That place won't ever fall down." Star edged in.
"Not without some 'encouragement..'" I hinted, sarcastically.
I mean, who would want to race around during city-wide destruction?
I was clearly not crazy enough.
"Yeah man, let me tape some water guns to the sides..." Barrel said, chuckling.
"We shall raze the ponies' cities! Build them anew in our own image!" I shouted, trying not to laugh.
"They'll be the exact same!" Armstrong replied before laughing.
"Fuck 'em, make them again!" I said, laughing harder.
After we took a few moments to calm down from laughing, we all sat inside Excalibur.
"So, she really works then?" Barrel asked, taking a seat in one of the six pilot seats.
"Well, duh." I scoffed.
I proceeded to do the same ignition trick I did the third time round and she started without a hitch.
The interior came to life, lighting up completely and air sealing the bay and passenger doors.
We started to slowly lift from the ground and I pushed on the throttle and she whirred as she propelled us slightly.
"See?" I turned with a smug smile.
"Didn't doubt you." Barrel replied, looking out the window.
I made sure that I remained close to the ground, at a steady speed so that we were not caught unless we needed to.
I tested her steering left and right.
Dead responsive.
That's one of the easy tests done.
"Right, hold on lads, this one will fuck up your lunch." I chuckled as I pulled up sharply.
True to the steering, she pulled straight up in a near ninety degree angle.
I quickly diverted us so that we were flying horizontally, not vertically.
Now we were a good twenty metres from the ground.
"Ooooh boy, this will get me over my fear of heights." I said, a little shaken by the sights before me.
"Next up, the brakes." I said, quivering slightly.
I pushed the brakes pedal softly and we started to reduce in speed.
"Hmm, seems to work." I said, observing the surroundings.
"How about if I..." I trailed off as I pushed forward, jerking Excalibur into a forty five degree nose dive.
"Brake now!" I shouted, slamming my hoof on the brakes pedal.
The shaking caused by the air resistance quietened and the quickly approaching ground never came.
"Phew.. Just imagine if they didn't work properly..." I laughed nervously, looking back at the other lads.
"You are the fucking worst pilot ever. I am never flying on a plane with you, end of story." Armstrong said, trying to keep his lunch down.
"Quit your bitching, your still alive, aren't you?" I smirked as I banked left and right, completing the last of the low altitude tests.
"You're all going to hate me..." I said, readying the engines for a little more speed.
"Why...?" Barrel asked, coyly.
I then banked the entire ship three-hundred and sixty degrees, completing a barrel roll.
"That's why." I laughed, levelling Excalibur out.
I was gaining the controls quicker than I expected. I was thinking that it would take me a few weeks at least to control her efficiently.
Well, I did build her.
I did receive a slap upon the head for pulling that stunt.
"Oi, no assaulting the pilot or I will have you escorted off the aircraft." I said, imitating the poshest captain voice I could pull off.
"Look out!" Star shouted, motioning to the larger-than-others tree that I was headed straight for.
I quickly turned around, realised our trajectory course and quickly pulled up, accidentally pushing the throttle at the same time.
In Layman's terms, we shot for the skies. My ears popped, my head felt a rush of blood and my eyes rolled back into my head.
I quickly gained concentration and started a decent without making us nose dive.
"Fucking hell... Talk about testing her out on the front lines..." I said with a shaken voice.
"I fucking hate you, bellend." Armstrong said with a tinge of green in his orange face.
"Enough of tests for tonight. She's pretty quiet so I'll land her as close to Ponyville without leaving her in plain view. You guys good with bringing the platform to me?" I said, hovering near the position we started at.
"Yeah, just let me have five minutes..." Armstrong said, a little worse for wear.
I touched-down softly shortly after and let the lads hop out of the passenger door as the bay doors were still pressurised.
"See you soon. I'll be waiting on the tracks we followed on the way here." I said, before re-locking the passenger door.
I quickly took flight and after a quick five minute journey, I was at the edge of the forestry near the tracks.
I touched her down softly without flattening trees or making a big scene. I powered her down and got out, trotting towards the tracks in the middle of the field.
Ten minutes later, I see three figures pulling a large platform come over the horizon.
"Finally." I mutter to myself, pulling myself off of my haunches.
Once I was clear enough to them, I pointed to the direction of where I parked Excalibur.
I got back to her and started her back up so that Star hasn't got to nearly shit himself as he lifts her back onto that platform.
They approached as close as they could without getting the forest so I flew over the trees and parked her on the platform.
I powered her down, jumped out and locked it from the outside.
"Cover her up please, dude." I said to Star as he unraveled the tarp we folded up and covered Excalibur up again before fastening her.
"Sweet, let's hit the deck. Once we get back, obviously." I smirked as Star fastened the pulling-rope around me.
--
I woke up exactly two minutes before that damn rooster cooed and woke me up.
"Beat you this time, bastard." I mumbled as I got up out of bed.
I showered and got ready as I was doing medium and high altitude tests on Excalibur today, as last night was a massive success.
I let the rest of the lads sleep, and I climbed downstairs, made myself a mild coffee and trotted out to the garden.
There she was, under the gazebo, facing towards me.
I looked everything over on the exterior while finishing my coffee, checking the engines and protective shield covering the core.
Everything was sound so I returned my coffee mug and climbed inside and sealed the passenger and bay doors.
"Today's gonna be a good day, baby." I muttered to myself as I started Excalibur up with the ignition trick.
I was so glad she didn't sound like a Boeing 747, because I was right next to the cottage. Vibration wasn't an issue either, which was another great thing.
And at this point, I really didn't care if anyone saw Excalibur soaring across the skies, because even the Princesses knew that I has something capable of such thing.
And nothing is knocking this thing out of the air.
I took her up into the air and flew her over the cottage. I scanned Ponyville's skies and it wasC relatively empty so I could fly around without swatting an pony-sized fly on my flight window.
I did not need that.
I pushed the speed to ten Knots and begin to increase my altitude slowly.
A few moments in, I decide to push the speed to twenty knots and elevate by a noticeable margin.
And that was completely fine.
As my confidence grew, so did my speed and altitude.
Before I knew it, I was quite high in the skies and I was travelling at over forty knots.
I decided that I should fly over Ponyville, to see if anyone wondered what was flying above them. And to my surprise, I saw tiny multi-coloured dots rising from the ground to see what I was.
And they were rising quite quickly.
Also baring in mind that most of my speed was dedicated to distance coverage, and not altitude increments.
I thought I should give them a run for their money and pushed it to fifty knots and rose at a forty-five degree angle.
I focused off my instruments and I could see the curvature of the planet. And that was a sight to see.
I knew that if I kept going at the angle I was at, I'd be in the stratosphere very soon. So I decided to level out and start to circle again and those multi-coloured dots were not even visible anymore.
Wicked.
If I had packed my Airtight Suit, I'd fly into low orbit. But I didn't pack it.
I decided to take her into low stratosphere to see if she functions on little to no air.
I kicked the speed up again and few at a thirty degree angle and I could tell that the skies were getting darker and the lush blue aura of the troposphere was passing me by.
It was then I saw it.
The black abyss above me.
Looming in a giant circle above and encroaching me with every second I spend ascending.
I was expecting my engines to stall or me to struggle breathing, but the life support kept me conscious, I guessed.
After all, it was just pressurised oxygen slowly distributed across the interior of the ship.
Weirdly, the humming started to fade away, and the vibrations were all that was left. I lowered my speed to see that I was in fact, about two-thirds through the mesosphere.
And I needed to get back.
I looked around and I saw what we could use as exploration during the quest. And it was a slight asteroid field orbiting the planet, with whatever asteroids entering the atmosphere burning up on re-entry.
That was another thought.
Re-entry was going to be dangerous unless I took it really steady.
I observed the field and I saw small, collectable asteroids, along with a few mammoth sized ones, capable of smashing Excalibur off it's course and critically damaging it.
Looks like we'd need Star's shield after all.
I levelled out and started a very easy decent, careful to make sure that I didn't accidentally nose dive and cause myself to become the next burnt-up asteroid.
It took quite a few minutes to get back into high troposphere, but once I knew I was out of low mesosphere, I nose dived to see if I could handle the air pressure and speeds.
And she handled them no problem. I topped three-hundred and fifty knots on the nose dive and I easily recovered.
It felt similar to the Red Bull Stratos Jump that happened five years ago, apart from not streaming it to ten million people on YouTube.
Seriously, fuck that.
I got back to where I could see civilisation and even multi-coloured dots again.
Once more, they were flying towards me.
I decided to nose dive once more and outrun them, but that was before the Harmonious side dropped out and the Chaotic side took control of the core.
The engines burst into life, so I was no longer free falling under control, I was plummeting, with assistance.
My first instinct was to try the air brakes, but they are controlled in the Harmonious side, which helped me by zero percent.
I needed to pull up, or Town Hall was going to have a new tourist attraction: a crater.
I pulled as hard as I could on the stick and the engines whirred loudly as I tried to level out, mid-nose dive.
Once I had stopped the nose dive to a degree, the Harmonious side kick-started back up and I had full control again, which was lucky before I was now on a horizontal collision course with Town Hall.
I slammed the air brakes and I was lunged forward from the momentum, but I opened my eyes to see that I stopped ten metres from Town Hall.
I breathed a huge sigh of relief and wiped my brow.
I was shaking, but this is why we test these things now, before the actual mission.
I pulled back and landed a mile from Ponyville Town Centre, which was just off the beaten track to The Everfree Forest.
I deactivated the engine and slumped in my seat, my head in my hooves.
I had to recompose myself, or I would have broken down, as that was the first proper time I nearly died.
And that shit was scary.
I finally got up into my hooves and unlocked the bay doors, to see about twenty Pegasi staring right at me from the moment I stepped out.
"Uhh, hi? I guess?" I glanced around, looking at all the eyes, fixated on me.
"Who are you?" One pony shouted.
"Are you from the skies?" Another shouted.
Before I knew it, I was being mobbed by these ponies.
"That's enough!" I shouted, climbing on top of Excalibur.
"I am a pony, just like you. Except I have built something that can fly, without wings." I was met with gasps and quipping from the crowd.
I even heard one pony say; 'How is that possible?'
If only they spent a week on Earth.
"Don't worry, I was only conducting experiments in the name of science and safety. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have modifications to complete."
I jumped down, resealed the doors, fired Excalibur back up and flew her to the gazebo in our cottage garden.
Followed by a few stubborn ponies.
I exited Excalibur, to see them hovering in my garden.
"Guys, I'll do a public unveiling after her maiden mission. But I need you out of my private property." I exclaimed, with the lads looking out the windows.
The ponies flew away and I entered back inside, greeted by three shocked ponies.
"Dude, why did you take it out again?" Armstrong asked my, genuinely concerned.
"I was just doing some tests, and it was a good thing I did. I got some more safety mechanisms to implement. So I'm going to crack on with that." I gave a normal smile, and walked into my planning room, which was also our office and studying room.
I needed to do seat belts, put the air brakes on both systems or at least a failsafe and construct an altitude meter.
I had a lot of work to do, and not a lot of time to do it in.
Hopefully, the Mane Six don't get involved in this.