i>The Scourge</i>

Chapter 1: Escalation

By FlutterBOSS

In a single moment, the Ponyville Public Library went from tranquility to bedlam.

“Spike! Get up! This is an emergency!”

Twilight frantically dashed up the stairs, and unsuccessfully tried to stop herself before reaching Spike’s bed. “Ooooohh, no—OOOFFF!!” Once she got up off of the floor, she turned around, expecting her trip to have woken up Spike; it didn’t.

“Spike! Come on!” She started to shake him hysterically. “This is serious!”

“Mmm… five more minutes, Twilight.”

“SPIKE!”

“Wha-what is it?” Spike reluctantly moved his hands to start wiping his eyes, and then lazily turned to Twilight. Once she was sure that he was listening, she turned around, raised her hooves and began to rub her temples in distress.

“We have a real problem, and I know I can’t handle it alone!”

Spike yawned. His eyelids fluttered, and then soared upwards. “Oh… oh!” All sleepiness vanished. “W-what’s wrong!? Is Sugarcube Corner on fire? Did Pinkie accidently drink some coffee again? Has Rainbow Dash—“ Spike gasped as his hands flew to his cheeks, “Did Rarity break a nail!?”

Twilight cantered to her window, almost quivering. “No, Spike, it’s even worse than that!”

“<i>Worse</i> than Rarity breaking a nail!?” Twilight whipped around.

“YES, Spike! And Rarity couldn’t even break a nail; she’s a pony!”

“Oh…right.” Spike grinned embarrassedly, and after murmuring something about having just woke up, he inquired, “Well, then what’s wrong?” Twilight abruptly darted to the baby dragon and hoisted him up in the air. “Ah! Twilight! What the hay is the prob—“

“I OVERSLEPT!” A single hair ejected from Twilight’s mane. The two remained in that pose for another couple of moments, and the library was once again tranquil, if only of sound. Spike’s expression then became assuaged as he addressed her issue.

“Oh, just that? Heh, Oh mare, I thought it was something serious!”

Twilight’s eyes grew wide. She then went back to carelessly jerking his tiny body. “This IS serious, Spike! A reporter from <i>the Fillydelphia Inquirer</i> is coming <i>here</i> for an interview this morning, and I haven’t even made breakfast yet!” She then lowered Spike to the ground. “I’ve never overslept in my life. Not only has my streak been broken, but I’ve lost so much time; my entire schedule has been thrown off course!” Twilight put her hooves together in apprehension. “I need your help!”

Once Spike’s world stopped spinning, he cumbrously addressed Twilight, “Uh… h’okay… okay, how long have you overslept?”

She responded anxiously, “Twenty minutes…”

“Aaaand… what time is this… reporter guy getting here?”

“An hour…”

“Wha—, Twilight, how is that even—” Spike stopped himself, and then sighed. “Alright Twilight, what do we need to do?”

Within the next moment, a piece of parchment was floating in Twilight’s magical clasp. She then initiated reading a precise list of events for the day. “We need to fix ourselves something to eat and bring the library to pristine condition. Then the reporter will get here. When he’s finished with that, we need to prepare a meal for the potluck at Rarity’s. The Princesses are going to be there, so we need to make something extra special, but not too special, because it’s just a casual party,  but just special enough to show that we appreciate the Royal Sisters coming all the way from Canterlot to have lunch with us.

“We also need to be very considerate,” Twilight continued, quickly pushing a stern stare towards Spike, “because this is the first time since Nightmare Night that Luna will be interacting with us. She has said that she’s almost ready to take back her responsibility as co-ruler of Equestria, and we want her to feel as at-home as possible.” Twilight looked up from her to-do list and asked a bewildered baby dragon, “Did’ja get all that, Spike?”

“Uh… yeah, um… how ‘bout we just go one step at a time, okay?”

Twilight flashed a worried smile. “Okay, we need to make breakfast and straighten up the Library.”

“Alright, why don’t I cook for us and you clean up?”

“No no no no no! I planned to make a <i>specific</i> breakfast for today, and there’s an <i>explicit</i> order to the cleaning that I want to do!” Twilight slammed her hooves down in distress. “And we wouldn’t have to clean up this morning if I didn’t spend the entirety of last night planning today!”

It was Spike’s turn to firmly grasp Twilight’s shoulders.

“Twilight, don’t worry; we can do this.” Serenity and inexplicable wisdom gravitated from Spike’s eye to hers. “Let’s complete what we can as fast as we can, and not worry about the rest, okay?”

Twilight blinked a couple of times, sighed uneasily, and then responded, “…You’re right Spike. I’m sorry I’m being so unreasonable. It’s just… I’m so <i>nervous</i>…” Twilight went back to massaging her forehead, “Thanks for helping me out.” The massage’s steady fading was trailed by a weak smile.

“No problem. I mean, we’ve been in <i>much</i> worse situations before, right?”

“Oh yes, we certainly have, and I guess this isn’t the first time you’ve helped us out of them.”

“Well, as your number one assistant,” Spike puffed out his chest, “it’s my duty to keep you from freaking out on a regular basis.”

“Oh, Spike.” Rolling her eyes, Twilight embraced her companion, bringing his forehead to her cheek.

“Heheh, shall I start preparing our morning meal?”

“Yes, yes you shall!” Twilight let go of Spike and shot a determined hoof into the air.  “And I’LL commence with sanitizing our home!”

“Alright!”

And so that problem was solved. Unfortunately, Twilight would have no solution to the truly far worse horror that was to come.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“That was delicious, Spike! How <i>do</i> you do it?” Twilight rubbed her belly as she sat back, all the morning chores having been finished.

“I guess it’s just in my blood.” Spike had prepared another grand breakfast (daffodil and jelly sandwiches, with a side of Trottingham muffins), and Twilight wasted no time in praising his works. “Why, sometimes I even amaze myself.”

Twilight giggled and told Spike, “Now, don’t let it go to your head.”

“I won’t,” Spike promised with another grin.

<i>KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.</i>

“Oh! That’s him!” Twilight stood up, then earnestly added, “Best behavior time starts now!”

“Aye, aye, captain!” Spike saluted and stood up as well.

With him following, Twilight sauntered over to the door and asked, as if she didn’t already know who it was, “Who is it?”

“Your doom.”

“…What?”

“Just kidding! It’s the journalist for the Fillydelphia Times.”

“Oh, right.” Chuckling, Twilight magically opened both doors. “Welcome to the Ponyville Public Library!”

Twilight had expected a snazzy stallion equipped with a self-assured demeanor, and that’s what she got. The unicorn’s red coat was almost completely enclosed with apparel. He wore a classy shirt with a luxurious solid purple tie, and he had an equally expensive-looking vest that went well with his auburn mane. He had saddlebags on either side of his flanks, completely covering his cutie marks. Illustrious sunglasses were perched upon his muzzle, covering his eyes, and Twilight decided that they deserved the quality of “dark-black”. Despite his intimidating appearance, however, he wore a genuine smile.

“Thank you. I trust you are Twilight Sparkle?”

“Yes, that’s me! Come on in!” Twilight moved backwards, not taking her eyes off of her guest. She was so focused on him that she didn’t realize she was pushing Spike back as well.

“Hey, Twilight, watch ou-“

“So, you know who I am; what’s your name?” requested Twilight.

“My name is Cornelius Newton News, though you can just call me Newton.”

“And I’m Spike!” Twilight and Newton turned around to the source of the sound: Spike was back against a wall, and he had poked his head out.

“Oh! Sorry, Spike!”

“Eh, it’s okay.”

“Well, pleased to meet you, <i>Mister</i> Spike.” Spike seemed to enjoy being addressed so fancily. Newton looked up from the smirking dragon to the interior of the building he was in. “Wow…” He examined what he could of the Library. “Nice place you got here.”

“Thank you! Princess Celestia is kind enough to let me live here during my studies of the Magic of Friendship.”

Newton turned to Twilight. “Ah… and <i>that’s</i> what I’m here to talk to you about.”

Twilight nodded and led him to the dining room, where they sat down at the table. “Would you like something to drink?”

Before Twilight could give examples of available beverages, Newton replied with an enthusiastic, “Water, please!” and then magically removed his saddlebags and placed them on the ground to his left.

“Spike,” Twilight started, raising her hoof dramatically, “if you would be so kind as to bring us some water.”

“Of course, milady.” Embracing, if playfully, the role as servant, Spike bowed down a bit hyperbolically, then strode into the kitchen.

Twilight turned to look at Newton, and chirped, “I’m so excited you’re here! I’ve never been interviewed by a journalist from a newspaper as big as <i>the Fillydelphia Times</i> before.” Twilight paused, and then with a hoof to her chin, pondered aloud, “Well, I don’t think I’ve ever met a journalist at all, come to think of it.”

“And I don’t think I’ve ever met any pony as famous as you, Miss Sparkle.”

Twilight’s cheeks broke into a tinted pink, and she replied, “Oh, I’m not <i>that</i> famous.”

“Oh no, surely you realize how valuable you’ve been to Equestria? You saved us all from Nightmare Moon, and I also understand you recently stopped the Spirit known as Discord from a chaotic reign over this very city,” Newton nodded and added, “You don’t have to be so modest when you’ve done so much.”

Twilight looked away. “Well, I couldn’t have done it without my friends.”

“Yes, I’m very interested to learn about them. I understand that each of them, you included, represents an Element of Harmony, yes?”

Twilight nodded as Spike came back into the dining room with a large jug and some cups. He put a glass in front of Newton and began pouring ice-cold water, and didn’t stop until it was close to overflowing. “Thank you very much, Mister Spike.”

“You’re welcome, Mister Newton.” Spike smiled as he brought the jug to Twilight, and let her pour her own amount. He then sat down and eagerly turned to the journalist.

“So, let’s get right to it then.” Newton drank half of the glass in one trip, and then took out a quill and some parchment from his saddlebags. “Ah… so… your friends, their names are: Rainbow Dash, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, Rarity, and Applejack, yes?”

“Yup! That’s them.”

“And correct me if I’m wrong, but Rainbow Dash is the Element of Loyalty, Rarity is the Element of Generosity, Applejack is the Element of Honesty, Pinkie Pie is the Element of Laughter, and Fluttershy is the Element of Kindness, right?”

“Right! And I’m the sixth element, the Element of Magic.”

“I presume this means that you are rather adept at magic itself, then?”

“Right again! At least, that’s what I’ve been told.”

“Come now, Miss Sparkle, have some pride in what you’ve achieved! Even without the assistance of your friends, you have an enviable list of accomplishments. You’re <i>Princess Celestia’s</i> personal protégé for crying out loud.”

Twilight blushed again at such flattery, and replied, “Well, I guess I’ve done some great things.”

“And I’ve helped her a lot!”

“I’m sure you have.”

“We know that, Spike.”

“I’m just puttin’ it out there.”

Newton went back to speaking to Twilight, “And so, Equestria knows a lot about you, Twilight Sparkle, and they know a lot about how much you know, but what they don’t know, is what you know you know, you know?”

Twilight kept at a perfect pace and agreed fervently with a giggle, “You know it!”

Spike, however, just said, “Wait… what?”

“What I mean to say is that Equestria wants to know about your friend’s expertise. Namely, knowledge, Mister Spike.”

“Oh… I knew that.”

Twilight smiled for what seemed like the hundredth time that morning. <i>‘He’s such a nice pony.’ </i>Newton then asked her about how she came to be such an intelligent mare. She told him the story of how she was to be accepted into Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, how Rainbow Dash’s Sonic Rainboom triggered a massive source of magic inside her, and so forth.

The conversation went peculiarly well. Newton would write with the quill, though he always kept his gaze on Twilight. Whilst she was originally worried about the possibility of not knowing an answer, she ended up responding easily without fret. Spike would occasionally interject his version of the story, or a whole story of his own, such as when he “heroically saved the beautiful Rarity from the sinister clutches of the Diamond Dogs”. Newton was quite curious about those particular characters, but Spike wrote them off as thuggish mercenaries-for-hire. Newton remarked them as “interesting”.

The only part of the discussion that didn’t seem to be perfect was the last set of questions Newton asked. Twilight thought they were… irregular inquiries, at least.

“What? Why would you want to know about that?”

“Why, Twilight, if what you say about these ponies is true, then I’d hate to see them get disregarded by the Fillydelphian Ponies as pompous pets of Celestia. While you know that your friends aren’t vain, we should at least talk about some of their inadequacies to show that they are regular ponies like you and I, but ponies that have done some great things for Equestria.”

Twilight’s lips scrunched together in irresolution as she heavily considered what Newton was asking for. “I’m not sure. I don’t exactly <i>like</i> the idea of talking about my friends’ shortcoming and flaws, especially when I myself am imperfect.” Twilight turned to Spike for concurrence, and he nodded avidly.

“And you are an excellent friend <i>indeed</i> for that conviction, Miss Sparkle, but you are also bright enough to realize that this will help your friends out in ways they can hardly do themselves.”

“Well… I guess if it’s advantageous to their, ‘cause’…”

“It certainly is.”

“But I just don’t feel comfortable doing that, at least not without telling them first.”

Spike backed her up, “Yeah, <i>I</i> wouldn’t like it if ponies were talking bad about me.”

“Oh no, you misunderstand!” Newton waved his hooves and shook his head in a placating manner. “I wouldn’t be talking badly about them; I’d simply be letting the ponies of Fillydelphia know that they too have things about them they don’t like. It’s much easier to like a pony when they acknowledge that they too make mistakes. After all, it’s not like I’d go into great detail, nor would I demean them.”

<i>‘Is it really important that they like my friends?’</i>

Twilight contemplated it one more time. She eventually concluded, “I… I guess you’re right, Newton. Just… don’t make them sound like bad ponies, okay?”

“Oh, of course not, Miss Sparkle! Let me have you know that I take no pleasure in it either, but I do recognize the… benefits, from doing so.”

Nonetheless, Spike was still skeptical. “I don’t know about this, Twilight. I say we should just stay clear of badmouthing any of your friends,” Spike then mumbled something along the lines of “especially Rarity…”

“Ah, Mister Spike, so selfless as to think of the feelings of others,” Newton showed another genuine smile, “but I think you too are smart enough to realize how much this will help your friends.” Before Spike could respond, Newton added, “You know what? I’ll be sure to put something nice about the Great and Mighty Spike the Dragon, Savior of Fair Ladies, Conqueror of Diamond Dogs!” Newton had hit the Achilles Heel.

“Well, I <i>guess</i> it’d be okay.”

“Then I have your permission to tell ponies of Fillydelphia about your greatness?”

“Yeah, you can do that.” Spike beamed at such sweet talk, while Twilight rolled her eyes again.

“Then it’s settled!”  Newton picked the quill back up, dipped it in ink, and looked to Twilight for a source.

Twilight released a half-heartedly defeated sigh, and then stated uncomfortably, “Well, Fluttershy is afraid of her own shadow…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“I think we did a great job, Spike. This smells fantastic!”

Once the reporter had left, they went straight to cooking for the potluck. Spike had suggested a soup, but Twilight inquired where on the spectrum of specialness and difficulty to prepare it was. In the end, he simply told Twilight that it would be perfect for the occasion, and she stopped worrying and helped him make the meal. They were currently en route to Rarity’s boutique.  

“You bet we did!” Spike took a heavy whiff of the steaming pot sitting on Twilight’s back. “Not only is it going to be delicious, but a surprise as well!”

“Is that why you named it ‘Spike’s Potato Surprise’?”

“Oh no, the <i>real</i> surprise is that it doesn’t have any potatoes at all.”

Twilight almost stopped where she was as she snickered, “Well, that’s definitely going to be a shock.”

They continued onward. Spike eventually asked, “So what’d you think of Newton?”

“…What did I think of him?”

“Yeah, I thought he was pretty cool.”

Twilight frowned. “Yeah, he was… just…”

“What?”

Twilight shrugged, but Spike was thankfully able to keep the soup from falling. “He seemed really happy and stuff, but…  I don’t know…”

“Is there something wrong with him being happy?”

“No, it’s just, I pictured him as being a real jerk.” Twilight then ardently added, “I know not to judge a book by its cover, trust me, but I guess I just got a bad feeling.”

Spike persisted, “But why? He seemed like a nice pony, especially for a reporter for such a big newspaper. Whenever I hear about ponies in such big positions, they’re real jerks. Newton was the opposite.” Spike tapped a finger to his chin. “Come to think of it, he seemed <i>too</i> nice.”

“Oh Spike, now <i>you’re</i> making him sound weird.”

“Na-uh! <i>You’re</i> the one who thought he was creepy.”

Twilight was going to offer a rebuttal, but she couldn’t deny to herself that she agreed with Spike. She didn’t even understand <i>why</i> she thought it was so strange that he was so kind. She should be glad that of all the journalists for the Fillydelphia Times, she got the most likeable. <i>‘Maybe it’s because I’m “famous”.’</i> Twilight looked upward from her reflection, and saw that they were approaching their destination. “Well, we’ll talk about it later, because we’re here.”

“Meh, alright.” Spike didn’t do a good job of hiding his desire to continue the conversation, but luckily he didn’t have to worry about it, because before anything else could happen, Rainbow Dash burst out of Carousel Boutique.

“Oh, hello Rainbow Dash. How are-“

The Pegasus abruptly blasted off from her location without saying a word, and soared away from the unicorn and dragon. They stood there (Spike was sitting), watching her figure get smaller and smaller.

“Wonder what’s her problem?”

Twilight squinted to make out the Element of Loyalty before she disappeared from view, and sullenly responded, “I don’t know, but I hope she’s alright.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When Twilight and Spike made it into the dining room, no pony was talking. Princesses Celestia and Luna were sitting at the middle of a long decorated table, both with expressions of uneasiness. The newest guests lingered at the front of the room, unsure of whether to continue forward, ask what the problem was, or turn around, go out, and reenter the room. While most of the ponies were looking at the ground because of the apparently awkward circumstances, the majority of ponies who weren’t doing that were staring at Applejack, who was looking down in great shame, forehooves crossed defensively. She was the first to break the silence.

“Ah’m… Ah’m sorry everypony. Ah shouldn’t’ve lost mah temper. Ah should’ve been the one ta let go what she said.” Applejack took off her Stetson hat and looked up at everypony. “Ah’m truly sorry.” She looked at the Royal Sisters. “’Specially you two. Ta think that y’all came all the way from Canterlot, and ah’ve gone ‘n ruined the party.”

Pinkie Pie was the first to respond to Applejack’s despondent confession, but not before happily hopping over to the other Earth pony. “Ah, don’t worry, Applejack! Everypony makes mistakes!” She nuzzled the sulking mare.

Fluttershy was next. Her angelic voice was only more reassuring. “I-it’s okay, Applejack.” She walked over to her like Pinkie Pie, and smiled sympathetically.

“But, Ah was so heartless! Y’all shouldn’t be so quick ta fer’give me.”

“It’s alright, Applejack.” Princess Celestia had chosen that time to talk, and her caring, mother-like tone unsurprisingly helped to lighten the mood. “While Rainbow Dash was not guiltless either, I think I can speak for all of us when I say that we accept your apology.”

Celestia demonstrated her royal smile, one that spread across the room until it eventually got to Applejack. When it did, a pink party pony exclaimed, “Yay for forgiving!”

“If it helps,” Luna spoke as well, and even though Celestia’s pardon was the most comforting, Luna’s was the most meaningful. “I forgive you too, Applejack. You didn’t really do anything to me, but even if you did, I’m sure this is one of the few times you’ve been, this way…”

“Oh, I must agree,” Rarity put forth her two cents, “You rarely get into an argument, Applejack. I would know, for I have been in most of them.” Rarity grinned sheepishly.

After this, Applejack, while obviously still feeling culpable, was able to smile more authentically, and acknowledged, “Well, if y’all say so. Ah still need to apologize ta Rainbow though. I’d better go do that.”

“Actually, Applejack, even if you could find her, she is probably still very angry at… whatever happened,” Twilight broke to her, “She’s probably very far away from here by now.”

Applejack sighed again. “Well, then Ah’ll just hafta’ do it later.”

“Right, for now, let’s just continue with the party. We can still have a good time.” Rarity finished. Everypony nodded or concurred verbally.

  The atmosphere was rejuvenated, and the festivities, though only of a small number of ponies, regenerated.

     Spike choose that time to try to ask, “What in the world happened her-“

   Twilight clasped her hoof over the young dragon’s mouth, and chastised, “Spike! Let’s not bring that up. Just pretend we just walked in.” She let her grasp go.

  “Fine.” Spike then stayed still for another moment. A sly grin was exposed on his face, and he then shot his arms up and shouted mockingly, “Hi, everypony!”

  “Hiya, Spike!”

  “Welcome Spike, and welcome to you too, Twilight Sparkle.”

  “Hello, Spike.”

    Twilight integrated with the party, leaving her companion to place their dish at the table. She chose to sit down across from the Rulers of Equestria.

“How has your day been, Princesses?”

Celestia replied in the same tone as earlier, “It has been going very well, Twilight Sparkle. It was very… generous,” She tittered, “of your friend Rarity to invite us to this luncheon.” She looked over to the mare of the house, who seemed to be offering words of comfort to a pony she usually disagreed with. “And I’m sure it will still go well regardless of the minor commotion that just happened.”

Truth be told, Twilight had a burning desire to find out why Rainbow Dash had left the party, but she stopped herself and said, “Right. How are you doing, Princess Luna?”

The Princess of the Moon smiled feebly and replied, “I… am doing well, Twilight Sparkle.”

“You can just call me Twilight, if you want.” Twilight grinned. “Or if you prefer “Starswirl the Bearded”, you can do that too.” Luna and Twilight got a kick out of that, but it confused Celestia. “Starswirl the Bearded?”

“Oh, that’s who Twilight was for Nightmare Night.”

“Ah… did everypony like it?” Celestia giggled.

Remembering the lack of recognition, Twilight replied a bit irately, but still nicely, “No, actually, Luna was pretty much the only one who was able to identify it.” She turned to said alicorn and beamed.

“Well, my little sister is quite intelligent.”

“I have to agree.”

More smiles all around.

“Thank you very much. You’re too kind. I think I shall just call you “Twilight”, Twilight Sparkle.” It took a moment for Twilight and Celestia to realize that Luna was making a joke. They then chuckled accordingly.

“I can’t wait for you two to try the dish we made. It’s called “Spike’s Potato Surprise”…”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When the party was halfway over, Princess Celestia decided to pull Twilight aside. Bringing their beverages with them, they exited the living room and began to chat. “So, Twilight, how do you think it’s going?’

Twilight took a gulp of her apple juice. “I think very well, for how it started. I just hope that Applejack and Rainbow Dash make up.” Celestia nodded acutely.

“Yes, they were doing fine, and then, they were suddenly arguing, arguing as if they were in verbal fight to the death.” Celestia frowned. “I’m not sure why they became so frenzied, especially for such a reason as it was.”

Twilight furrowed her eyebrows. “Why <i>did</i> they get into that fight anyway?”

“I believe that it had something to do with colts.” Celestia hadn’t touched her drink thus far. “Have they done that before?”

Twilight shook her head. “No, they’ve quarreled before, but not for anything like that.” She looked back into party. Everything was going well. “That’s so very strange.”

Celestia put a hoof on Twilight’s shoulder. “I’m sure that they’ll be alright.” Twilight smiled. She then saw Luna come into her view.

“Also, Luna seems to have adapted to the language disparity quite quickly.”

“Yes, I am exceptionally proud of her.” Celestia beamed delightfully.  “It looks to me like she is having a good time.” She finally brought her cup to her lips and took a small sip. “Don’t you think so?”

“Oh yes, I definitely think so.” They looked back into the living room, where Luna was now laughing with Fluttershy.

“It’s good to have another set of eyes to reassure that you’re seeing what you hoped you’d see, don’t you agree?”

With her mouth full of the last of her apple juice, Twilight nodded, and then swallowed. “Yes, this day is just turning out to be a great one indeed. Even with that fight, everything has been going well. No catastrophes, no foes to face, just relaxing at the party with the Princesses.”

“Yes, I’ll bet that Luna is having just as good a time-“

Celestia’s face abruptly seethed in absolute dread. She fell to the ground, blinking and gaping in a seemingly random direction. Twilight watched her Princess fall, and, for a moment, didn’t know what was going on nor what to do.

“Princess? Princess!” Twilight was by her teacher’s side. “Princess, what’s wrong?!” She tapped Celestia’s shoulders, but that didn’t break her out of her stupor. So she tried shoving her shoulders, but that didn’t work either. Twilight started to panic.

<i>SLAP.</i>

A physical whack did the trick. Celestia’s eyes stopped centering, but her body was still trembling. Once she began to gradually calm down, she, exhaling profoundly, looked up at Twilight.  

“Oh… my goodness”

“Princess Celestia, what happened?”

“…What?”

“What happened? You were talking, and then you suddenly just… stopped, and you looked like you were having a heart attack.”

Celestia’s face steadily turned back to the calm one she was known for.

“Oh… it, it was nothing. I’m fine.”

“…What? Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m okay. I just… had a bad thought.”

“Really?” Twilight tilted her head agitatedly. “It looked like more than just a bad thought.” Celestia, now back in control of her actions, shook her head.

“No, I’m quite alright. Though thank you for your concern.” Celestia smiled.

Twilight stared down her mentor. She appeared to be fine again, although her eyes looked like they had just witnessed the obliteration of Canterlot.

“Well… alright.” She wasn’t utterly convinced. “You sure you don’t need some water or something?”

“No thank you, Twilight, I’ll be fine. Now, what was it you were saying?”

“Oh, well, I think you were actually talking about Luna-“

Yelling was heard from the next room. Twilight paused and looked at its direction, and then at Celestia, who had done the same thing. A fuming stallion stomped into the room, with Rarity right behind, protesting, “This is a private party on private property! I <i>demand</i> that you leave the premises at once!”

But the stallion wasn’t listening to her in the slightest. He stopped two feet away from Twilight, and irately raised a hoof right to her nose.

“<i>There</i> you are! Do you know <i>how long</i> I have been waiting? Aren’t you supposed to be some kind of organizational freak?”

Nopony said anything. Even Princess Celestia was too stunned to offer a response. The other party guests trickled into the area out of curiosity. Each one easily picked up on the intensity of the situation.

Twilight decided to speak up, but not before she realized, “Newton? What are you doing here?”

“Ah, you recognize me, so you <i>intentionally</i> did this to me!”

“Wha-what are you talking about?”

“What am I talking about? What does it look like I am talking about?”

More awkward silence. Rarity continued her investigation. “<i>Excuse</i> me, <i>sir</i>, but <i>why</i> exactly are you here?”

Newton turned to look at her like she had asked who Princess Celestia was. He then went back to interrogating Twilight. “Do you know what was scheduled for this morning?”

“An interview?”

“Yes, and do you know who the interviewer was supposed to be?”

“That’d be you.”

“Correct. And the interviewee?”

“Me.”

“Right! So, since you obviously know what was supposed to happen, <i>why</i> didn’t it happen?”

“What are you talking about? You interviewed me this morning!”

“You LIAR! I sat in the classless excuse for a restaurant known as ‘Sugarcube Corner’ for over an hour, and you decided <i>not</i> to show up!”

Twilight shook her head in confusion. “No, you came to me this morning at the Ponyville Library, we had the interview, and then you left!”

Celestia cleared her throat, which naturally brought all eyes upon her. “It appears that a miscommunication has happened, assuming both parties are telling the truth.”

Newton seemed unfazed by the fact that one of the Royal Sisters was in his presence, addressing him. He brazenly resumed his screaming. “You’re trying to tell me that I interviewed you this morning? You’d have to accuse <i>me</i> of lying then!”

“…But, you did interview me this morning. Spike was there too, he can testify.”

“Well, I’m telling you that I did not!”

Twilight sat back and inspected the pony snarling at her. He looked exactly like the Newton she had met this morning, purple tie and everything, only his ceaseless smile and amiable nature were replaced with an infuriated grimace and lots of yelling. “So… no. No. He’s got to be lying!” She turned to her teacher. “Princess Celestia, I talked to this very pony this morning!”

“I’m <i>not</i> lying!”

“Perhaps,” Celestia raised her voice while still sounding completely calm, “perhaps neither of you are lying.”

Everypony stopped to consider what that would mean.

“So, are you saying, somebody… <i>impersonated</i> Newton?”

“Stop calling me ‘Newton’ like you’ve met me! My name is Cornelius N. News!”

Twilight then realized how much information she had given to somepony who apparently wasn’t Newton this morning. “Oh… no.” Collapsing, Twilight’s hooves slammed to her face as she exclaimed, “This is bad. This is very bad! If somepony fooled Spike and I into thinking he was the real Newton, then—“ Twilight stopped again. “No no no no!”

“Twilight, what’s wrong?” Rarity inquired apprehensively. Other ponies in the room followed her example.

“What’s wrong? What’s wrong!? Do you know what I told who I thought was Newton this morning? Normally it wouldn’t be that bad, but if somepony masqueraded as my interviewer, than what malicious intentions would he have? What would he do with that information?”

Silence. A certain pink pony, wondering where the party had disappeared to, bounced into the room and gleefully shouted, “Hey! <i>Here’s</i> everypony! I was wondering where you all went!”

Nopony responded. They were all either confused, in shock, or finally dropping an exasperated conduct and expressing interest in the circumstances that everyone was so freaked out about. Pinkie Pie continued in her jovial tone, “Do you all have a froggy-woggy in your throat? Jeez, you ponies are acting like something really, really, really, really, really, <i>really</i> bad happened!”

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A stallion scrutinized the growling artifact before him. It made his already disturbed heart darker as it radiated with a black light. Then, with his hooves encased strongly around the item, he looked upwards with a twisted, euphoric smile, and ignited a horrific cackle into the woods of the Everfree Forest, where only the suddenly cowering beasts thereof could receive it.

Somepony had found something, and with it, his wicked cravings would come to pass, and no stallion, mare or foal, would be safe.

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