Green Goes With Everything
by CrypticMetaphor
Chapters
Hello!
Stanley Ipkiss was currently working overtime at his desk overlooking several loan claims that seemed to continue to stack up before him as the new intern continued to bring them in by the dozen. He sighed and looked at a picture of him and his now one year standing girlfriend Tina Carlyle, he smiled at the happy moment that they shared on the beach the day the picture was taken, only for it to vanish when the intern placed the last bit of papers down.
The intern smiled slightly, “Don’t worry dude, last ones of the night”
Stanley just looked at him, “Thank god, any more and I think I might have jumped out the window”
The Intern chuckled slightly as he walked toward the break room; Stanley looked down at the papers and sighed once more because he knew it was going to be a long night.
*
During that night, there were a bunch of students partying down at Edge City beach, the usual night of booze and the occasional hallucinogen along with stories of either fake or real grandeur. One student was absently throwing pieces of drift wood into the bon fire before them to keep it burning high almost like a tower reflecting their rebellious spirit scorching the normal night sky. The student then began to absently kick at the sand as he looked for more things to burn; he then stopped as he noticed a loose wave wash some sand away at his feet to reveal a piece of wood with a metal strip attached to it. The student then pulled the object free to reveal a mask made of greenish brown wood with a strip of metal on the bridge of the nose; the kid turned it over and tilted his hands a few times. His eyes widened when he noticed a greenish light shine for a few seconds on the inside of the mask going in a blink of an eye from left to right. He then slowly began to move it toward his face…and then chucked it like a Frisbee at the fire. The second the mask hit the flames, they flared bright green and surged upwards and out of control, this caused every kid to run away in fear at the spectacle.
*
At the same time of this occurrence, Stanley was walking back home to his apartment when he noticed kids running away from the beach yelling about the fire from hell. Stanley wouldn’t normally think anything of this behaviour, but when he noticed green smoke rising into the night sky at the beaches shore line he was shocked.
Stanley’s eyes widened to the size of dinner plates when he saw the smoke, “No…there’s no way…I…have to be sure!”
Stanley then ran as fast as his legs could carry him toward the beach unaware that a storm was brewing overhead. Soon he reached the sight of the dying fire and immediately stopped at the fire pit as an ominous wind cleared away the ash revealing the infamous mask’s face. He bent down to pick it up just to be sure that he wasn’t hallucinating, the ridged surface of the familiar wood laid on his hand as his fingers brushed the cool metal strip. He sighed as he looked up at the sky as if to ask why the object of mischief had returned to him now of all times, the sky answered by hitting both him and the mask with a bolt of lightning. The students returned to find a patch of steaming glass on the ground in front of their fire pit along with their stuff intact, unknown to any solitary soul within the confines of Edge City, Stanley Ipkiss had vanished from the very face of the Earth taking with him one of the most powerful objects in the universe to an unknown location.
*
Stanley awoke with fresh air gracing his nostrils and the wind blowing past his face…wait a minute, he opened his eyes to see if he was still alive to which he breathed a sigh of relief when he figured out that he was. This lasted for a full three seconds until he saw that he was falling from about sixty feet in the sky toward what looked like a town. He began to flail wildly in a feeble attempt to prevent himself from approaching the ground any faster, this failed him completely. Stanley knew he was approaching his demise, he just wished he would have seen Tina’s smiling face one last time along with his Boston terrier Milo before he became a stain on the ground. He then started to chant the Lord’s Prayer really fast as he continued his plummet to the ground; he knew there was nothing in the world that would save him from his demise…except one thing.
Stanley looked in his hand and began to sweat, “OOOOH man it’s been a while since I’ve put you on…”, Stanley then shook his head, “NO! Remember all the hoopla that it caused the last time Stan!”
He then looked down and was beginning to see where his point of impact would be and whined weakly, he then yelled in frustration, “ALRIGHT FINE!!”
Stanley took a deep breath steeling him for what was to come, “Just PLEASE let there be no trouble this time”
Stanley then slammed the mask against his face; the wood then began to stretch and cover his head like it was made of living rubber, soon glowing green cracks appeared as he writhed in mid-air and turned into a living tornado which then touched down outside the outskirts of the town he was going to crash into, the tornado stopped spinning revealing a man with no ears or hair to speak of on his head and the skin of only his head had become completely green, his teeth had become pristine white and he was dressed in a yellow zoot suit with a white undershirt and a black and white polka dotted tie.
The man then sharply inhaled through his teeth as he spoke one word, "Sssssssmokin!”
The man known as Stanley Ipkiss had vanished the second he donned the mask to save his life, in his place now was the bizarre trickster and “hero” known simply as The Mask. The Mask checked out his surroundings with his usual smiling expression with a glint in his eye, one of trickery and one who was not bound by the limitations of reality.
His smile vanished as he tapped his chin with his left index finger with a thoughtful expression, “Hmmm, how odd”, he zipped with inhuman cartoonish speed up to a sign that said in big letters, “Welcome to Ponyville”, he then continued to speak, “Merely a few minutes ago I was plummeting to the ground at the speed of imagination and then…,” he tapped the sign, “I find myself to be far from home”
He then spun fast in place wearing a Star Trek uniform as he spoke in an impression of William shatner, “It…seems…I…have…ended…up…on…a….planet…not…of….my...own”, he then nodded thoughtfully, “I…will…have…to…asses...this…with…the….up…most…scientific….study…and…calculation…as….to…blend…in”, he then flipped out a communicator, “Spock…if…you…agree…say…yes”
Spock did not respond, “Well time for the traditional method!”
The Mask then whipped of his star trek disguise in favor of his previous outfit and zipped into town at inhuman speed. He soon appeared stopped on a bench as his mouth widened and took in the sights, ponies of all colours were walking the streets not taking notice of the strange individual lurking in the shadows.
He then slapped himself causing his head to do a three sixty, “Holy pastels Batman!”
He then noticed them talk which caused him to repeat his previous action, “And they talk too?!”, he then looked at the reader, “How weird is that?”
He then zoomed up to a pink pony with a yellow mane and a lily in her hair and tattooed on her flank with a smile as he leaned against air in a casual fashion, “Excuse me miss, could you point me to the nearest phone booth and or tourist trap to figure where I might be currently…”, he wiggled his jaw slightly, “…Sssituated?”
The pony looked confused as she turned around, “excuse me?”
Mask just smiled as he gave a casual half wave, the pony then screamed in absolute fright which alerted everypony else who soon followed her lead, they all immediately dropped what they were doing and ran into each building, the whole time this was happening The Mask continued staring at the empty space where the pony had been standing with the exact same expression.
Soon everypony was indoors with the shutters locked and doors shut, The Mask blinked once, four seconds later he took on a offended look and yelled in a frustrated voice as he stood completely straight and shook his fist in the air, “IT’S BECAUSE I’M GREEN ISN’T IT!?”
He then shrugged as he put his hands in his pockets and strutted down the street with his usual smile, he then noticed three fillies’ playing ball in a park nearby completely ignoring the panic that took place. He then sauntered up to the park, one had a yellow coat with a red mane and a pink bow in her hair with orange like eyes, the other was white with a grayish mulberry with pale, light grayish rose streaks and had a horn, and the last was a dark orange with a purple tomboyish mane with wings.
The Mask’s heart literally melted in his chest cavity at the adorable ponies at play, they reminded him a lot of Milo, except Milo didn’t wear a bow, or have wing, or had a horn, or talked in English...
His train of thought was interrupted when he saw the ball pop at his shoes; he looked at the fillies’ who were a bit frightened at this new creature that towered over them with a green face. The Mask looked at the orange one which stepped forward somewhat reluctantly and puffed out its chest.
The orange one then announced bravely, “I am Scootaloo of the cutie mark crusaders”, she then gestured to her friends in turn, “this is Sweetie Belle and Applebloom and we shall defeat you monster!”
The Mask then took on a hurt expression and began to sob as he fell to the ground, Applebloom looked at Scootaloo, “Scoots, ah think you hurt its feelings”
Scootaloo rolled her eyes, “Monsters don’t have feelings dodo brain”
Sweetie Belle then pointed with her hoof a the monster, “I’m pretty sure he’s crying and that those are tears”
Applebloom cautiously approached the creature, “Excuse me”
The Mask ceased his crying immediately and spoke in his regular voice with a smile, “Yes?”
Applebloom and the CMC looked very surprised at his sudden mood change but continued, "Are…you okay?”
The Mask stood up immediately and spoke in a comical tone, “Of course my small friend”, he then pulled out a tear dropper from his lapel pocket as he spoke in a mock Shakespearian voice, “I was merely playing the part of a depressed monster who had become face to face with the mighty warrior Scootachoo”
Scootaloo looked annoyed as Sweetie Belle and Applebloom laughed, Sweetie Belle then spoke through her laughter, “Your funny!”
The Mask examined his nails in pride, “I know”
Applebloom stopped laughing, “What’s your name mister?”
The Mask then spoke in a dramatic ye olde voice, “I am known by many names, The Emerald Knight, Oz The Great and Powerful, The Charming Man of Green Skin, That Jerk, Idiot, Moron”, he then spoke the last name with much more power, “THE BRINGER OF PIE!!”
He then reached into his coat and pulled out a pumpkin pie, “Want some?"
The fillies were still smiling as they shook their heads causing The Mask to stow it away, “And I slaved over a hot supermarket all day”
He then slipped back into his monologue, “BUT THE TABLOIDS CALL ME!!!!”
He then got down on one knee and extended his hand, “The Mask”
The CMC shook his hand has Sweetie Belle spoke enthusiastically, “Mr. Mask, how did you pull the pie out of your coat? I’ve never seen magic like that before!”
The Mask scoffed, “That wasn’t magic…”, and he then picked up their ball and blew into it fully inflating it, The CMC were in awe at the spectacle until The Mask reached into his sleeve and produced an oversized pin, he then popped the ball only to reveal a much larger yellow ball with white letters scribed on it, “Cutie Mark Crusaders”
He then bounced it a few times with a smile of satisfaction, “THAT was magic”
He then passed the ball to Scootaloo as she stared excitedly at it as she bounced it, “we can have this?”
The Mask nodded, “It’s yours isn’t it?”
Sweetie Belle then tugged at his pant leg, “Mr. Mask, can you show us more stuff”
The Mask thought for a second then spoke in a Mafioso accent, “Sure thing kid, I like you three, you got moxy and I respect that”, he then gently scooted her off of his pant leg still speaking in his accent, “So sit down and relax, and don’t tug on the suit ya wrinkle the materiel”
It's Party Time!
Twilight Sparkle was currently walking through the now deserted streets of Ponyville with a complete look of confusion on her face, the only time she had seen this before was when Zecora first showed up in Ponyville and when a disaster was ahoof. She walked up to the first house she arrived in front of home to the pony Lily; she knocked twice and waited after hearing an “eep” from within.
Twilight knocked again, “Lily are you home? It’s me Twilight”
Lily slowly opened the door with a look of fright, “Oh thank Celestia it’s you Twilight, there’s a monster in town and its horrifying!!”
Twilight raised an eyebrow, “What are you talking about?”
Lily began to wave her hooves in the air frantically, “It was what I said it was! It was six feet tall wearing a yellow suit like a pony but it stood on its hind legs naturally and looked a bit like a monkey! Its skin was pink and it’s head had no ears or hair at all and was completely green!!”
Twilight raised her hoof, “Slow down, how exactly can something have both pink and green skin let alone no hair and ears”
Lily raised her voice to the point of cracking, “I DON’T KNOW!!”
Lily then grabbed Twilight and began to shake her rapidly, “You have to get rid of it, you and your friends are always good at this stuff”
Twilight stopped herself from being shaken any further, “I’ll see what I can do, just remain calm and tell me where this “monster” went”
Lily pointed down the street, “It headed toward the park”
Twilight nodded, “alright, I’ll gather the my friends and contact the princess for The Elements just in case things go out of control, then I’ll go and investigate”
Lily thanked Twilight as she locked herself back in her house leaving Twilight to run down the street thinking if there was really a monster in Ponyville. But if there was, it would have to answer to Twilight and her friends.
*
The Mask was currently dressed in a Jedi robe with wrinkles and a white beard holding a real lightsaber in his hand as he swung at thin air and spoke in an old man voice, ”And then he said to Vader if you strike me down I shall become more powerful than you can possibly imagine”
A second person appeared wearing Darth Vader’s outfit and slashed The Mask in half causing him to collapse into a heap of nothing but robes, Vader then span in place revealing The Mask as he normally looked as he spoke in a relaxed voice, ”Aaaaaaaaand scene”
The CMC applauded The Mask as he bowed several times, Scootaloo immediately spoke, “What happened next?”
The Mask scratched his chin as he whipped out a folding chair from his back pocket and sat down lifting the pegasus onto his knee, ”Weeeeeelll, the plans got to the Rebels who then attacked the Death Star and Luke blew it up with the photon torpedoes he had to use and the Rebels were victorious and they all lived happily ever after”
The Mask paused for a second, “until The Empire Strikes Back came out”
Sweetie Belle immediately hopped up, “Ooh ooh tell us that one”
The Mask then stood up and kicked the chair to the side as he put Scootaloo down and spun around and appeared wearing Darth Vader’s outfit once more as he spoke in an impression of James Earl Jones’ voice, ”very well"
*
Twilight had gathered all of her friends except for Applejack who was currently involved in her usual afternoon activity of harvesting apples as they approached her.
Rainbow Dash immediately flew up to her and tapped the farm pony on the shoulder, “Hey AJ”
Applejack turned to look at the cyan pegasus, “Yeah?”
Rainbow pointed to Twilight as she approached to which Applejack took on a concerned expression, “whats goin on Twi?”
Twilight immediately debriefed her on the situation to which her concerned expression turned into a look of worry, “Horseapples, ah knew that the screaming I heard had to be about somethin”
Rarity was hopping in anxiety as she too was deeply worried, “Why oh WHY did I let Sweetie go to the park today, I just KNEW something bad was going to happen!”
Twilight waved her hooves in a calming fashion, “Don’t worry, your sisters will be safe as long as we know what we’re dealing with”
Pinkie Pie bounced over to the purple unicorn, “well my left eyelids twitchy which means there is danger in Ponyville”
Fluttershy looked at her left eyelid as it did an involuntary looking twitch almost like Pinkie was trying to blink but was unable, “oh, so that’s what that means”
Twilight and the rest of the elements struck a determined pose as she stated strongly, “Let’s get underway”
*
The Mask was still dressed as Vader as The CMC watched his performance, there was also a Luke Skywalker dressed Mask that Vader Mask was currently staring down as he spoke in his Earl Jones voice, “Join the Dark Side Luke”, Luke Mask shook his head and spoke in a mock wimpy Mark Hamill voice, “I’ll never join you, you killed my father”, Vader Mask then lowered his saber and raised his free hand and then proclaimed powerfully, “No, I am your father
Luke Mask spoke in a progressively wimpier dramatic tone, “That’s not true, that’s impossible”, Vader Mask spoke once more, “Search your feelings you know it to be true”, Luke Mask then took on an even wimpier dramatic tone as he yelled in mock anguish, “Nooooo!, Nooo!”
The CMC gasped collectively as the truth was revealed, but the scene stopped as Vader Mask began to breathe haggardly, Luke Mask then stood up and spoke in frustration and annoyance, “This is the last time I work with this guy!”, he then left in a huff, “Amateur!”
The Mask then pulled off his Vader helmet as he gasped for air, “How does he breath in this thing?!”
He then spun in place reverting back to his old clothes as he handed the helmet to Applebloom as he spoke in the voice of an award giver, “Here you go, a genuine helmet worn by the dark lord of evil, show your friends, scare your enemies, or FILL IT with food”
Applebloom then put the helmet on her head as she began to stumble around due to the size since it was only built for a human head, yet this did not stop the filly from trying to sound threatening, “Ya’ll shall join the darkside or perish!”
Scootaloo just raised an eyebrow and turned the helmet around so it was backwards, much to Applebloom’s misfortune, “Hey Scootaloo! Ah can’t see!”
Scootaloo just laughed as Applebloom dropped, The Mask sauntered over and plucked the helmet off Applebloom’s head and put it on Scootaloo’s head backwards, “I SEE your point Applebloom”
Sweetie Belle laughed at the stumbling Scootaloo who soon dropped as well, “HAHAHA! I’ll never end up like that”
The Mask pulled the helmet off of Scootaloo’s head as he turned to look at Sweetie Belle and spoke in a Vincent Price impression, “I’m afraid your next my dear”
Sweetie Belle screamed in mock fear as The Mask began to chase her around the park, not noticing her sister and the rest of The Mane Six approaching. Soon when the six mares crested the hill and saw the spectacle before them they assumed the worse, both Applebloom and Scootaloo were passed on their backs with their eyes spinning and Sweetie Belle who was currently walking around with the helmet on her head and stumbling around with The Mask standing victorious at catching his query.
Rarity, Rainbow Dash and Applejack then yelled loudly in The Masks direction, “HEY!!”
The Mask whipped around with his trademark smile, “Hello!”
Rarity immediately recoiled in fright, “what in Equestria is that thing? It’s so ugly!”
The Mask then became offended, “Hey! I take offence to that”
Rarity waved the remark off, “I meant your outfit. That shade of yellow does not go with that tie or those shoes”
The Mask straightened his tie and spoke in a mock Rarity voice, “These clothes are of the finest make miss, I’ll have you know they were imported from a place which name currently escapes me", he paused as he looked the unicorn up and down, “Also, that style is soooo last century"
The Mask then zoomed up in a flash and spun around Rarity and popped back to his original spot, Rarity’s mane now resembled the bride of Frankenstein’s hair, “is that a little over the top? I’D LIKE TO THINK SO!”
Rarity turned her head and looked in a puddle of water and screamed in anguish as she fainted in horror, The Mask just smiled, “Ah, another satisfied customer, now where was I? OH right”
The Mask then plucked the helmet off of Sweetie Belle and turned to look back at the now serious looking mares, he then turned to whisper at the reader, “I have the distinct impression that they don’t like me”, Rainbow turned to Twilight, “who is he talking to?”
Twilight ignored Rainbow’s comment and stepped forward as she addressed The Mask, “Do you know somepony by the name of Discord, It seem you have the same abilities as him”
The Mask rubbed his chin thoughtfully as he turned his back to them, “hmmm, sounds like a cool guy, we should sit down and swap stories sometime”
Rainbow Dash, having heard enough, rushed straight at The Mask…who literally bent out of her way like a rubber man, “Now that was rude”, he then span In place as he transformed into a matador outfit and spoke in a deeper Spanish voice waving a red sheet, “Toro, Toro!”
Rainbow exhaled steam from her nostrils as she rushed him much faster than last time, The Mask set his jaw and locked her steely gaze with his own, The Mask then stepped to the side as he raised the sheet yelling, “Olay!”, Rainbow then proceeded to smack straight into a tree that appeared out of nowhere getting a collective gasp from her friends.
The Mask then transformed into a doctors outfit and checked the lump that was on Rainbow’s head as her eyes were spinning in their sockets, “Ooooo, that’s got to hurt, don’t worry I’m a doctor!”, in a blink of an eye he wrapped Rainbow Dash from head to hoof in bandages and placed a dog cone on her neck, he then transformed back to his regular clothes, “Okay so I lied! I don’t know a thing about medicine and….hey what are you all doing with the bling?”
The second The Mask transformed back into his regular clothes, Twilight had roused Rarity from her unconscious state and fitted each of her friends with The Elements of Harmony and teleported over to Rainbow Dash who was now conscious and wearing hers. The Mask jumped back surprised as the elements fired up, he pulled out a beach chair and some sunglasses as he reclined and whipped out a tanning screen.
The light from the elements got brighter as the rainbow fired into the sky, “WOW! I’m going to get a multicolored tan after this!”, the rainbow power then slammed straight into the lounging Mask as he screamed like a woman, this caused the CMC to awaken from their dizzy trances and stood up in shock at seeing their new friend be attacked.
Suddenly the elements energy flared bright green and exploded with a bang sending everypony present flying in all directions, a steaming wooden object flew like a bullet from the center of the blast and landed in front of a dazed Twilight.
Twilight shook her head and looked down at the object which was revealed to be a wooden mask with a strip of metal running down the bridge of the nose; she then looked up and saw a cloud of smoke where they had attacked the strange creature, “is everypony okay?”
Rarity answered from above her on a tree branch, “As alright as I’ll be darling”
Applejack and Rainbow Dash were dangling up higher as they voiced their presence, Pinkie had landed on a rosebush and Fluttershy was currently on top of an overturned bench, Rainbow Dash flew down to the ground as Rarity and Applejack went to check on their sisters, Dash then took notice of the mask Twilight was currently studying with intrigue, “What’s with the head gear?”
Twilight rubbed her chin slightly as she levitated the mask to get a better look at it, she tilted it a few times and noticed a green sheen shine from the left to right in the blink of an eye which completely took both mares by surprise. But before Twilight could further interpret its meaning, a loud coughing fit was heard as Stanley Ipkiss stumbled out of the smoke cloud dazed and confused his dark business suit askew and dirty and dirt in his dark brown hair.
Stanley was about to speak until Rarity wrenched him off of his feet with her magic and brought him eye level with her angry face, “YOU HAD BETTER CHANGE MY MANE BACK RIGHT NOW!”
Stanley was frightened at the angry white unicorn and managed to form only a few sputtered words, “I….who…what?”
Twilight gently brought Stanley away from the fuming Rarity but kept him suspended in the air, “Who exactly are you?”
Stanley was still frightened when he spoke, “St…Stanley Ipkiss”
Sweetie Belle approached Stanley, “Mr. Mask, why do you look so different?”
Twilight looked at Sweetie Belle then back at Stanley, “Okay now tell me the truth “Stanley Ipkiss” IF that is your real name”
Stanley spoke quickly, “The Mask and I are the same guy and I’m sorry if he caused you…ponies… any trouble, he’s prone to do that”
Rainbow Dash then got up in Stanley’s face, “Now that is a lie if I ever heard one”
Stanley shook his head, “No it’s true”
Twilight nodded, “actually Rainbow… I think he’s telling the truth”, she held up the mask, “this mask showed up after we blasted that creature…”, Scootaloo then quickly cut in “The Mask”, Twilight reluctantly continued, “…The Mask with The Elements of Harmony, it might be the source of his powers but I won’t know for sure until I study it, then I’ll send it to Princess Celestia to see if she can find more”
Stanley was let down to the ground, “Just be sure not to put it on”, Applejack walked up to Stanley with narrowed eyes, “Ah don’t mean to sound rude, but we don’t necessarily trust yer word Stanley, Mask or whatever ya call yerself”
Applebloom and The CMC stood in front of Stanley, “Applejack, The Mask is our friend, it’s not HIS fault he did those things, YA’LL attacked him first!”
Applejack looked sternly down at her little sister, “Yeah we did, to PROTECT you fillies”
Stanley raised a finger, “can I say something?”
Applejack looked at him, “What?”
Stanley pointed behind the six mares, “Is that thing supposed to be in your town?”
All six mares turned to look at Ponyville which currently had a hydra within it limits which roared to the sky as it began its path of destruction, The Mane Six immediately turned to the CMC and told them not to move as they ran toward town leaving the CMC with Stanley.
Scootaloo turned to Stanley, “what are you doing?”
Stanley looked at her, “what do you mean? They got it handled”
Sweetie Belle shook her head, “My sister and her friends never successfully defeated a hydra before, they’ve only out ran one”
Stanley looked at the town, “But what can I do?”
Applebloom just gave him a look as Stanley came to the realization, “Oh”, he then ripped off his tie and threw off his overcoat and rushed toward town.
*
The Hydra was currently busy with making its way toward town hall when Twilight and her friends arrived, Fluttershy was trembling like a drenched dog when she addressed the matter, “How do we stop it?”
Twilight was frantic with worry, “I don’t know, my magic isn’t strong enough to stop it”
Rainbow zoomed above her friend’s heads, “I’ll distract it”
Applejack ran after her, “right behind you”
Soon Twilight was watching worried for her friends safety as the rest of the six ran to help but was stopped by a panting Stanley, “Wait….I can help”
Rarity shook her head, “Oh no, we are NOT accepting your help”
Twilight levitated the mask out of site, “I’m sorry Stanley but Rarity’s right, we can’t trust that you will help”
Stanley approached but stopped a few good feet from them, “Please, just let me make it up to you all. Don’t let what The Mask did affect your opinion of me”
Pinkie Pie nodded, “he’s telling the truth”
Twilight looked at her friend, “how do you know?”
Pinkie lifted her right fore-hoof, “my right hoof is asleep, which means that somepony can help in certain disaster”
Twilight bit her lower lip nervously, but relinquished the mask to Stanley not doubting her pink friend, “I hope you know what you’re doing Stanley”
Stanley rolled up his sleeves, “same here”, he then looked at the mares, “you might want to stand back”
Stanley then slammed the mask to his face and then he became a tornado with bolts of energy arching from it and in a few seconds The Mask stood where Stanley used to be as a devious smile appeared, “I’m baaaack”
The Mask then turned to look at The Hydra, “Woah that’s a big lizard!”
The Hydra turned to The Mask upon being called a lizard and roared right in The Mask’s face, he then wiped some spit from his face, “didn’t your mother ever tell you to brush, two words, BREATH MINT!”
The hydra looked confused for a second and roared much louder in The Mask’s face once more causing The Mask to cringe, after it finished The Mask turned to look at the reader once more, “doesn’t he remind you of someone?”, he then reached into his coat and pulled out a small squeeze horn that had “squeeze me gently” written in white on the squeeze part where as the opening was as big as his pinky.
The Mask then pointed it at The Hydra’s face and squeezed, the horn then quadrupled in size as it literally yelled louder than The Hydra’s roar, “AAAAAAAWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGGAAAA”
When the horn went off every single glass piece in Ponyville exploded toward the street and The Hydra was blown backwards onto the ground with a thud. The horn immediately shrunk back to its’ original size after The Mask stopped squeezing it, he then put it away as he reached into his pant pocket and brought out a nine iron.
The Mask then spoke in a golf sports announcer voice, “He lines up the shot and checks the wind current. Perfect breeze, if he sinks this hole he will win the open, he winds up and here’s the swing”, The Mask then wound up fiercely and followed through and gently tapped the point of contact…and The Hydra was sent flying at break neck speed and landed in The Everfree Forest with a distant thud as he cringed in frustration and spoke in a forced tone, “Oooo! A bogey”, he then threw the nine iron away as he dusted himself off.
Twilight walked up completely confused, “How….Why…Wha?”
The Mask shushed her, “It’s the least I could do, it’s in my nature not to let women fight, plus someone had to do something ”
The Mask walked a few steps forward then looked back at them with his usual smile, “After all, you can’t be too careful with all these WEIRDO’s running around”
Pinkie’s left eyelid twitched
Didja Miss Me?
Mayor Mare had caught wind of the odd visitor that had arrived in Ponyville and was quite skeptical on the fact. Well she still was until she witnessed the stranger putt a full grown hydra out of Ponyville. When she came out to investigate she witnessed a strange creature doing a little victory jig, she immediately knew he was the one who saved the town with the help of the Twilight and her friends. All that soon resulted in a massive crowd of both nervous and appreciative ponies gathered in front of town hall.
Mayor Mare soon addressed the crowd, “Fillies and Gentlecolts, today Ponyville would have been destroyed if it had not been for the timely arrival of Twilight and this…visitor you see behind me.”
The Mask gave a half wave with a massive smile to accompany it as the Mayor continued, “For this heroic act I wish to thank this group of heroes.”
Sweetie Belle then yelled out of the crowd, “Speech, Speech!!”
Everypony soon began to chant in unison as the word began to surge through the crowd. The Mask stood p and approached the podium. He nervously fidgeted in place and then produced a massive handkerchief to wipe sweat from his brow.
The Mask chuckled, “Well I’m not one for speeches.”
He then placed a pair of reading glasses on his face as he slowly pulled a small card from his pocket while running his tongue over his teeth in a non-chalant fashion.
The Mask then spun in place and was dressed in a black presidential suit as he spoke in a focused voice, “First I would like to thank the nice filly in the audience for being such a good sport, go on give her some applause.”
The ponies confusedly stomped in response causing Sweetie Belle to blush as The Mask continued, “I would also like to thank my crew for doing such a good job on set.”
Several duplicates of The Mask dressed in various style of clothing ranging from director to lower down the ladder walked on stage and The Mask shook all their hands as they passed.
He then smiled, “I would also like to thank all of you out there who have been so welcoming and warm to me, you know what give yourselves a hand come on!”
Every single reader then rose up in unison and began to clap for themselves and The Mask who bowed with gusto. Soon the readers sat down and continued their activities as The Mask continued his speech.
The Mask sighed, “I would also like to say a few short words.”
The Mask then flicked the small card which then proceeded to unfold into a massive list which rolled to the town’s borders, “You all might want to sit down, this is gonna take a while.”
*
Princess Luna was reading a piece of mail that had been received from Ponyville with her sister, “A strange creature?”
Celestia shook her head, “How odd and it also seems to have the same powers as Discord.”
Luna looked at her elder sibling with concern, “Should we be worried?”
Celestia stood, “Only if we have to be. Let’s go have a chat with this visitor.”
*
Half of Ponyville was asleep standing up as The Mask reached the conclusion of his speech, “And in conclusion I would like to thank the academy for-”
The Mask yanked out an air horn which he set off immediately causing the ponies to jump in surprise, “Oh darn it! Lost my place!”
All the ponies collectively groaned as The Mask cleared his throat, “Well if you’re gonna be like that, I’ll be in my trailer. GOOD DAY!”
The Mask then changed back into his regular suit and proceeded to walk with a brisk pace toward a trailer that had no business being there and slammed the door shut after entering. Everypony looked confused at the trailer as the gathering concluded.
Twilight approached the door and knocked, “Mask!”
The Mask opened the door right into her face immediately and spoke in a sing-song tone, “Yes?”
Twilight rubbed her nose, “I’ve just recived a message from our ruler Princess Celestia, she’s on her way to have a chat with you.”
The Mask’s eyes lit up and spoke in a mock teenage girl face, “Omg! The Princess is coming here, ooooh I have to change!”
The door slammed shut for a millisecond then reopened to reveal The Mask with the exact same clothes except he wore the hat that went with it, “Be honest, do I look to posh?”
Rarity raised an eyebrow, “Posh isn’t really valid here darling.”
The Mask pouted but then broke into his wild eyed smile, “Oh well. Time to set up a place for the meeting!”
The Mask then wiggled his jaw with a weird sound accompanying it and sped off faster than Pinkie on a sugar rush to the North side of town.
Twilight’s eye twitched, “Dear Celestia he’s loose.”
*
After long hours of searching the two Princesses found the oddest set up. The creature known as The Mask was sitting at the far end of a long dining table in a large red velvet high-backed chair. Atop the table were several dishes of confectionaries and drinks of the sugary to the more sophisticated variety.
The Mask spoke in a French accent, “ Bonjour madams. Please have a seat and enjoy the glorious feast of sweets I have prepared for thee.”
Celestia and Luna slowly sat on either side of The Mask, “Yes well…hello there Mask, I am Princess Celestia and this is my sister Luna.”
The Mask leaned forward with pursed lips, “If I might be so bold, why exactly have two high life types come to chat with a low life like me?”
Princess Luna took a bite of a piece of cheese cake, “We merely wish to asses if thou is a threat, nothing more.”
The Mask placed a hand to his chest in a pained fashion, “Thou hast wounded me with words most harsh.”
The Mask then leaned over to Celestia and whispered, “I like her, she’s just so adorable when she talks like Shakespeare.”
Celestia cleared her throat, “Indeed. Tell me Mr. Mask, how did you come to be here?”
The Mask produced a pair of sock puppets, “Allow me to show you.”