CROSSOVER:

It’s ALIIIIIIIIIVE…

(Part IV of a crossover with K12314’s ‘How Did I Get Here?’)

The room was silent.

“Hooollly Shit,” I thought to myself. “No freaking way…”

Kyle’s eyes shot open, and he immediately went into a coughing fit, his body trying to make up for the lack of oxygen. He started patting himself, searching for the wound that had killed him in the first place. His eyes widened in amazement, as he slowly realized that he was alive.

We all stared at him, and I felt a bewildered smile appear on my face. “He’s alive,” I said mentally. “In the name of all that is good, he’s alive!” I sagged against a wall, letting the shadows hide me from Kyle’s sight, and started chuckling slightly. All of the worry and tension I felt slowly disappeared, replaced by relief and joy.

Rainbow Dash and Kyle met each other’s eyes, and Kyle let out a small grin. “Can’t get rid of me that easily,” he said in a rough voice.

We all stood there, paralyzed by amazement at Kyle’s return to the realm of the living. Finally, Rainbow Dash hurled herself at Kyle, and sobbed in both relief and happiness (they tend to go hand in hand, don’t they?).

“I-I-I t-thought y-y-you w-were d-dead...” Rainbow managed to say, nuzzling Kyle, and clenching him tightly, as if afraid he would leave her again. “I-I couldn't b-bear t-t-to t-tell Scoots...”

“Calm down,” Kyle said softly, gently stroking Dash’s mane. “I know...” He whispered, clutching Dash like a lifeline. “I... I w-would never l-leave you, Dashie.”

The pressures of the last few hours finally caught up with him, and he cried. Tears steadily streamed out of his eyes, as he Dash rocked back and forth, finding comfort in the other’s embrace. I sighed, and looked off to the side, remembering someone who was close to me like that…

I shook my head, and smiled. No use worrying about the past when the present is ready to fling a pie in your face. I crossed my arms behind my head, and watched the two, glad that once again, Torrentican had been thwarted.

I frowned, reached into my pocket, and pulled out a small fragment of the crystal. I held it up to my eye, and looked at it. The shard glistened in the light, and it had a sinister air to it, as if mocking me. “Where did Torrentican find you?” I mumbled under my breath. I let go of the crystal, and it floated in my hand, twirling slowly. It had lost enough of its magic that it wouldn’t ever pose a threat to this, or any other universe again, but…

I shook my head, and pocketed the shard. I’d cross that bridge when I got to it. I looked back at the couple, lost in love’s tender embrace, as they slowly stopped crying. After a minute or so, Kyle wiped his eyes, and his face lit up in sudden realization.

“Torrentican...” He growled. Rainbow Dash let go of him, and looked at him concernedly. “Where is he!?!?” He bellowed, searching the room, with murder in his eyes. “I'm gonna kill him in the most painful ways I know how!”

I didn’t bother telling him that technically, Torrentican couldn’t die either, but instead got up, and walked over to him, saying, “There's no time to worry about that now, you need to rest.” He looked at me, and his jaw dropped. “You did just survive being IMPALED,” I added, chuckling.

His eyes took in my appearance, and I silently laughed. That reaction never got old. “Erm…” He began, the surprise temporarily overriding his anger. “When did this happen?” He asked, gesturing at my body.

I shrugged nonchalantly. “While you were ‘dead,’” I replied, doing air quotes on ‘dead’.

“Ah…” He looked at me, observing my new appearance, and I scratched at my beard absentmindedly. I extended my senses towards him, and had to stifle a gasp. He had been touched by a certain Goddess of the Night…That would explain why he’s now alive and kickin’.

I thought about this, while Kyle glanced at my jacket, which I had tossed over a nearby chair. He shuddered, guessing what it had been used for, and he made a visible effort to push those thoughts away from himself. “We need to find Torrentican NOW. Who knows what he could be up to? He might have another one of those crystal things somewhere!” Kyle said, trying to push himself up.

He let out a gasp of pain, and then fell back down onto the couch, clutching his chest. His face was contorted in a grimace of pain, and I realized that I must have forgotten to heal his internal organs. Hopefully Luna’s magic would have fixed the worst of it. Hopefully.

“See what I mean?” I said, shaking my head. I told him he needed to rest, didn’t I?

The stubborn guy stood up again, gritting his teeth against the pain. “Alright,” He managed to say. “Let’s get searching.” He stumbled to the door, each step an obvious effort for him. I briefly debated with myself as to whether I should just clonk him one on the head, or just try and talk him into resting. The decision was made by Fluttershy.

“Umm... I really think you should wait,” She said, her voice barely heard in the room.

“No, really, I’m fine,” Kyle said, beads of sweat starting to form on his forehead.

Fluttershy then took a deep steadying breath, and flew out in front of him. She stared at him, and insisted in a voice that was louder than normal, “No you’re not! You’re going to wait here, and rest!”

I watched Fluttershy, and grinned again. Apparently she must have taken Kyle’s words to heart, and was doing her best to be brave, and stand up for what she believed. “Good on ya,” I thought to myself.

Kyle let out a small chuckle, and said, “All right, I'll rest...” He then looked at her, and asked, “But can I at least go home and see my own daughter?”

The gentle Pegasus blinked, surprised that Kyle had actually gone down without a fight, and smiled. She flew out of the way, and there was the sound of a door slamming from below.

“WHERE IS HE?!?” An angry voice bellowed. I tilted my head, and scratched my beard. Hmm…why does that voice sound so familiar?

Hey, it’s Zephyr! The formerly drugged Pegasus was standing in the doorway, and glaring daggers.

“Where is that pony with the glasses?” He shouted, looking around. Wow, I pity the fool who he’s looking for.

“Nice to see you too, dude,” Kyle grumbled. “He's in here. Why do you want to see him so bad?” Kyle’s eyes then widened, and he mumbled out of the corner of his mouth, “Omnius…you may want to run.”

“Why?” I asked. I looked at Zephyr, and my brain clicked.

Uh-oh. I’M the pony with the glasses! Shit!

“Um... Hey there buddy...” I said nervously, backing up towards the window. Zephyr growled, and came closer, fires burning in his eyes. Just to buy myself some time, I pointed behind Kyle, and yelled, “LOOK, A THREE HEADED MONKEY!”

[Cue THEME MUSIC!]

Everypony turned to look, and I jumped out the window, rolling on the ground as I landed so I wouldn’t break anything. “Thank you Guybrush Threepwood!” I laughed, running as fast as my legs could carry me.

I glanced back behind me, and yelped. Zephyr was right behind me, murder in his eyes as he chased me.

“What did I ever do to you!?” I yelled, jumping over a pie cart, and grabbing a cherry pie.

“YOU’RE THE ONE WHO TOLD KYLE TO HIT ME ON THE HEAD!”

“Because you were stoned out of your mind!” I retorted, throwing the pie behind me. It connected with his face, and he had to stop to wipe away the bits of pastry. He glared at me, and I lost no time in running inside of a house, slamming the door shut behind me.

I started pushing some heavy furniture in front of the door, barricading it, and grinning in triumph.

“There’s no way he can get in here!” I said. A flower vase was pressed into my hands, and I said, “Oh thanks Zephyr.” I tensed, and turned around. Zephyr was standing there with a baseball bat clenched in his teeth.

“How did you get in here?” I asked.

“The window was open.”

“It’s always the window, isn’t it?”

He nodded, and swung the bat at me. I ducked, and did the first thing I could think of: Screamed, and ran through the wall, leaving a Traveler-shaped hole in the wall (although strangely enough, it was in a ballet style position. WTF?).

Zephyr leaped through the hole, chasing me, a ferocious snarl on his face. “HOLD STILL! I JUST WANT TO MAIM YOU!”

I ignored him, and continued fleeing for my eternal life. I spun around a corner, and pulled a newspaper out from a nearby trashcan. I held it in front of my face, and stood next to two other newspaper readers, who were currently absorbed in finding out about the news, and I tried to look like I was just a part of the background art. Zephyr ran past me, and didn’t even glance twice in my direction. I lowered the newspaper, and snickered.

The pony on my left lowered his newspaper, and grinned evilly at me. It was Zephyr.

“Okay, come on! I thought only Pinkie could do that!” I complained.

“Yeah, silly, that’s what I do!” Pinkie giggled, lowering the newspaper she was holding.

“AHHH!” I screamed. I ran out of the alley, even more confused than before. I snagged a banana from a nearby fruit vendor, and ate it on the run. Zephyr was slowly closing the distance between us, fully intending to murdalize me.

I finished the banana, and tossed the peel behind me. Zephyr glanced at it, and called out, “Dude, I’m FLYING.”

I winced, and said, “Crap! I really need to start thinking these out!” I dashed into a restaurant, and quickly put on a chef’s apron that was conveniently hanging over the side of a chair. I pulled and retied my bandana over my chin, hiding my beard, and stood by the side of a table, waiting.

Zephyr ran in, his nostrils fuming, as he glanced around. I walked over to him, and said, “Ah! BONJOUR MON AMIE! Je’mappele Chef Ponyardee! Que-cest que tu aime le mange?”

“Wha?” He said, confused, as I put him into a seat at the table, and tied a napkin around his neck. I handed him a folded menu, and poured him a glass of water.

“What would you like to eat today, monsieur? Today’s special is the Pie-a la’ Visage!” I said in a phony French accent.

“Erm, okay, I’ll have that?” He said hesitantly, saying it as if it were a question.

“Very good choice.” I walked into the kitchen, and grabbed a silver platter with a pie on it. I carried it over to his table, and said, “Your pie, sir.”

Zephyr licked his lips, and said, “Oh boy. Hey, what does the ‘Visage’ thing mean?”

I grinned, and shoved the pie into his face. “Pie in the face!” I yelled, cackling madly.

XHXHXHXHXHXHXH

Meanwhile, in an alternate Equestria

XHXHXHXHXHXHXH

A purple Pegasus looked up from the guitar he was tuning. He looked around, his eyes shifting nervously.

A unicorn smoking what looked suspiciously like marijuana looked at him, and asked in a lazy voice, “Dude, what’s got your tail in a twist?”

The Pegasus shook his head, and said, “I felt a disturbance in the Joke Force…as if someone had just stolen one of my pranking tactics…”

The unicorn laughed, and said, “I think my MJ’s getting to ya dude.”

XHXHXHXHXHXHXHX

I was running down the streets again, throwing off the chef outfit as I ran. “I can’t believe you fell for that!” I yelled at Zephyr, panting slightly.

“I’M GONNA KILL YOU!”

“Can’t die!” I retorted.

“I’M GONNA MAIM YOU!”

“I think you already yelled that!” I ran through the park, and jumped over a bench with two very surprised ponies sitting on it. “Evening Lyra, Bon-Bon.” I said, tipping my bandana.

I finally ran around a tree, Zephyr in close pursuit. After a few rotations, I jumped away from the tree, and leaned against a wall to catch my breath. The enraged Pegasus kept circling the tree, convinced that I was just on the other side. It was around this time that Kyle and the others finally showed up, and he gave me a confused look when he saw Zephyr fiercely pursuing a whole lotta nothing. He walked up to me, while the girls walked over to Zephyr, and tried to calm him down.

“Omnius, how the-”

I interrupted him, and half-panted, half-laughed, “Benny Hill tactic. Works every time.”

He laughed at that, clutching his ribs in slight pain. “Omnius, you are a GENIUS.”

I grinned, and tipped my head at him in silent thanks. The girls walked over then, a sheepish looking Zephyr following them.

“Ah' reckon this'n here has somethin' t' say,” Applejack said, nudging Zeph forward.

“Yes, that was most rude of you, Darling,” Rarity said, looking at him.

Zephyr looked at them both, and then turned his considerably less angry gaze at me. He cleared his throat, and apologized, saying, “Erm... I'm sorry I chased you around like that.”

I waved off the apology, and said, “Oh, it's no problem. I've been chased by MUCH worse.” I shuddered, remembering the many beasts that had chased me…Oh Gods and Goddesses, if I had to hide from one more Grunt or Brute in a dark castle with nothing but a lantern…Ugh.

“Well... I'm going back to the library. That's enough hero work for now,” Twilight said, nodding her goodbyes at us.

“I need to get home and tend to the animals...” Fluttershy added quietly. The others gave reasons for leaving, and then slowly left, leaving me and Kyle by ourselves.

He looked at me, and held out his hand. “So... Omnius... It was nice meeting you.”

I smiled, and clasped his hand in a brotherly fashion. “Nice meeting you too. Good luck with Rainbow Dash.” We shook hands, and I added, “And hey, you ever need anything, don't hesitate to ask.”

I saluted at him with the two fingers of my right hand, and walked off, ready to relax…

Twilight’s words echoed throughout my head…

“That’s enough hero work for now.”

I chuckled at that. I’m not ever gonna be able to stop doing ‘Hero’ work. I’m going to keep doing it for the rest of my Eternal life. Fighting, losing, winning, and suffering. I'll have to walk through Hell, and back again. I'll have to die endless times, and see things that no one should have to see.

But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

When things like Torrentican go bump in the night, I’ll always be the one who bumps back.

“It’s good to be The Traveler.”

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