The passenger airship rose from the Fillydelphia air harbour, drifting eastwards as the wind caught it broadside. Tarnish and Maud had their own private cabin aboard the ship, a small room with a cushioned bench and a window. Tree Hugger, who had been on the train with them to Fillydelphia, had caught a different airship, off to take care of business.

Maudlin Persephone Pie was reading a book called SWAG. Sulfur, Tungsten, and Silver, a gripping book that her eyes hungrily devoured. With each turn of the page, she leaned in a little closer, hanging on every word, her eyes moving back and forth as she read from left to right, over and over again.

Beside her, Tarnished Teapot was reading a book titled, Living a Charmed Life, which was a practical guide to everyday charms, hoodoo, and thaumaturgical focus creation. The book was a combination of pony and zebra magic, explaining in detail how one could make amulets, broach pins, hairpins, other such items, infuse them with magic, and their many applications. Like a charm made from needler cactus needles and other common things found out in the wild that made the wearer resistant against paralysis and sleep magic, common hazards in needler cacti infested parts of Equestria.

Aside from getting the ingredients, acquiring things like needler cactus needles was no easy feat, the most complex part of making a wearable charm was creating the thaumaturgically infused wax, but Tarnish was determined to figure it out. He wasn’t the most magical unicorn and there were times when he felt a little inadequate. Alchemy seemed like a natural progression for one with an interest in botany.

The tiny, somewhat cramped but comfortable cabin became an unrepentant den of absolute nerdery as the two ponies, who were madly in love with one another, studied together, both understanding that there was a time for self improvement and a time for making out. This was the ideal time for study, but there would be time for romance later.

“Manehattan,” Maud said as the airship began to descend towards the air harbour. She yawned, stretched a bit without moving too much, smacked her lips once, and then looked at her husband beside her. “I’m excited.”

Closing his book, Tarnish then stuffed it into his saddlebag and closed the flap. He placed a hoof under Maud’s chin, turned her head so that she was facing him, lifted her head somewhat, and gave her a swift peck on the lips. He was anxious to see what was in store.

“I don’t have a tuxedo.” Tarnish let out a sigh and then looked out the window as he pulled his hoof away from Maud’s chin.

“We’ll either buy one or rent one. Come Tartarus or high water, I’m going to dance with you in formalwear, make no mistake.” Maud’s eyebrow raised and her voice lowered a bit. “And after we dance, the real fun comes later, when we undress each other. Remember to go slow and take your time… there is no need to rush.”

Exhaling in a huff, it was suddenly far too warm in the little cabin. Tarnish’s ears swished back and forth as they filled with blood, turning pinker on the inside, his body’s way of trying to be rid of excess heat.

“Tarnish, before we’re hooves on the ground—”

“Yes, Maud?” Tarnish turned to look at the mare by his side.

“Don’t feel inadequate.” Maud blinked, then reached up, placing her hoof on Tarnish’s cheek. She turned his head somewhat, forcing him to look right into her eyes. “No matter what happens, don’t tear yourself down. We’re going to be with high society types and educated types. My double rocktorate doctorate is probably going to be mentioned a lot. A lot of ponies are probably going to call me ‘Doctor.’ Some ponies might ask about your credentials and they might look down their nose at you because you don’t have much.” Maud paused, taking a deep breath, rubbing Tarnish’s cheek as she did so, and then continued, “Don’t let them get you down. Don’t get discouraged. You’re just getting started and already, you’ve accomplished quite a bit. Ponies in academia have a way of being real snobs sometimes… I’m worried, I’ll admit, I don’t want to see you hurt or put down. I don’t want you to feel slighted. And I don’t want your accomplishments just dismissed.”

Maud blinked, then blinked again, and her hoof pressed tighter against Tarnish’s cheek as her ears pitched forwards. “You are only sixteen years old right now and you’ve secured a much sought after job with the Crown. That’s pretty impressive for just coming out of the gate. Run for the roses, Tarnish, there is nothing stopping you from doing anything and everything you want in your life. Ponies are going to be jealous, they’re going to be petty, they are going to be trite, and no doubt, some of them are going to do anything to tear you down, make you feel small, and try to diminish your accomplishments by whatever means they can.”

Overcome with emotion, Tarnish nodded, his cheek crinkling against Maud’s hoof.

“Those ponies can go fuck themselves.”

Tarnish’s mouth fell open in shock at Maud’s words, and he felt her hoof pull away from his cheek. A second later, it was beneath his chin and he felt his mouth being closed with a soft, gentle touch.

“You haven’t learned anything, that’s how the bugs get in,” Maud deadpanned. She leaned a little closer, her snoot almost touching Tarnish’s. “You’ll also meet some wonderful ponies… some of the greatest ponies you will ever meet in your entire life. Astounding ponies that make dealing with the snobs and elitists worth it. You can be in a room full of those kinds of ponies, the good kind, and just one prick pony can come in, say something cutting, and ruin your night. Those words can sting, I know from experience. I’ve been dealing with these sorts for a while now… and I know what they say about me. A few cruel words can be louder in your ears than a roomful of praise.”

Having said what needed to be said, Maud leaned in and pressed her lips against Tarnish’s, wrapped her forelegs around his neck, and pulled him in for a slobbery bit of encouragement in the form of a wet, sloppy, and noisy kiss.

Standing in a private lounge intended for celebrities, Tarnish felt out of place. He wasn’t sure he belonged here, but he was in no mood to be hounded by the press if he was spotted. The room was large, comfortable, well appointed, and had a cooler filled with bottled water. A coffee maker sat on the counter. A selection of teas were nestled in a large, decorative basket. There was a portrait of Sapphire Shores on the wall, signed by the singer herself.

It was starting to get into the late afternoon, but there were no windows to see outside, no means to see what time of the day it was, other than looking at the clock or a watch. Tarnish was feeling peckish, but wasn’t in the mood to eat, feeling far too excited.

“Maud, what have we become?” Tarnish asked.

Before Maud could answer Tarnish’s question, there was a faint knock upon the door. It opened and a bulky looking earth pony poked his trapezoidal shaped head into room. He had a few thick golden hoops in his ear and a pair of black sunglasses. There was a scar just below his right eye, visible beneath the glasses.

“Ullo?” The earth pony grinned. “I’m Stubbs. Barnabus Stubbs. I’m with our mutual friends. I understand that you need a ride.” Stubbs came the rest of the way into the room, revealing his heavyset, stocky body. His cutie mark was a wooden chair that had been smashed into several pieces. “I am at your service.”

“Hello,” Maud replied as she eyed Stubbs. “I think we’re ready to go. I’d like to be out of here as soon as possible.”

“Hi.” Tarnish, a tall, thin pony, could not help but feel that he was a bit too scrawny when he looked at Stubbs, who was a slab of angry looking, dangerous meat. Tarnish wondered how a pony got a cutie mark of a shattered chair. Tarnish did not feel intimidated though—Stubbs was far too polite to be scary, but Tarnish supposed that a reporter or an interloper might feel different if they encountered Stubbs.

“Allow me to get your luggage,” Stubbs offered as he stepped forwards. “The limousine carriage is parked just outside the door at the end of the hall. My sister, Bertie Stubbs, is waiting for us. She don’t say much. She’s shy.”

“A limousine?” Tarnish blinked and shook his head. “Is that really necessary?”

“It is the property of our mutual friends. It is absolutely necessary. There are a number of very important ponies who are members. Sometimes, there is a group outing and the limousine becomes a little crowded.” Stubbs smiled, revealing silver capped teeth, evidence of extensive mouth trauma.

Tarnish hefted up his own saddlebags, secured them, and gave Stubbs a smile. He watched as Maud did the same. He could carry his own luggage, but he was thankful for Stubbs. He doubted anypony would be stupid enough to make Stubbs angry. Stubbs’ general appearance would probably make a dragon think twice before causing trouble.

Smiling, Tarnish headed for the door, glad to be going, and filled with anticipation of what was to come. Maud followed, falling into place at his side, and Stubbs stepped away from the door so Tarnish could exit.

Without further ado, they were off to meet new friends.

The carriage had windows, but drawn curtains kept anypony from looking in. The inside was large, so large that Tarnish had to wonder if a bowling lane could fit in here. It wasn’t quite that large, but it was a good size. The seats were upholstered with purple velvet. There was a bar at the front of the carriage, which Tarnish ignored.

The ride was smooth, surprisingly so, and Tarnish marveled that the Stubbs siblings could pull such a large carriage with no effort whatsoever. The sounds of the city were muffled inside of the carriage, and Tarnish’s burning curiousity made him want to pull back the curtain so he could look outside. There was so much to see and do here. So much to experience. It seemed like a real shame to be hidden away from the world, but he and Maud both just wanted privacy, at least for now.

The garage was a bit dim. Tarnish stood, staring, standing between two limousine carriages, which appeared to be identical. The garage was large enough to hold four of the carriages. The garage smelled of pine oil soap and wood wax. The Stubbs, both Bertie and Barnabus, stood nearby, looking very much like two statues. Bertie was every bit as bulky and angular as her brother, a living, breathing brick wall of a pony.

As Tarnish got his bearings, a pegasus approached, a dark, dusky purple individual with an enormous handlebar mustache. A pair of gold spectacles was perched upon his nose, and he was wearing what appeared to be a dark red smoking jacket and an even darker blue cravat. As he approached, his mustache quivered.

“Right, then… thank you, Stubbs, the both of you,” the pegasus said as he drew near. He then lifted his head and cleared his throat. “Maud Pie and Tarnished Teapot, pleased to meet you. I am Doctor Livingstone and it is my privilege to greet you.” The pegasus lowered his head a bit, waggled his bushy, frizzy eyebrows, and grinned. “It isn’t often that we get new members. I’m afraid that we’re a bit persnickety when it comes to new admissions.”

“Pleased to meet you,” Maud replied.

“Yes, it is quite nice to meet you,” Tarnish said. He was about to say something else, but didn’t when he heard the sound of hooves on the stone floor of the garage. He turned and then gasped in astonishment.

The big white earth pony mare, the one who had rescued him, Maud, and Spike. The pony even taller than he was. The big, graceful mare approached and Tarnish only knew her name from the note she had left. She had an enormous sunflower as a cutie mark and her mane was a two tone pastel pink and green.

“Helianthus, I presume?” Tarnish said in a low voice as the tall mare drew near.

The big white mare giggled, a demure sound, and bowed her head, but only a little. “Mister Teakettle… we meet again.” She turned and looked at Maud. “And you… a vision of loveliness… Maud Pie. I am delighted to see that both of you are doing well.”

“Teapot.” Tarnish glanced upwards, feeling short.

“Oh, yes, Teapot.” Helianthus smiled, a broad sunny grin.

“Welcome to the Stiff Upper Lip Society,” Livingstone said as he chuckled. “Helianthus is one of our most prominent members and one of the cornerstones of our society. She’s a bit of a gabber—”

“Mister Livingstone… I am shocked.” Helianthus brought herself up to her full height and looked down at the pegasus, Livingstone. She looked serious, but there was a hint of a smile lurking at the corners of her lips.

“As I was saying, she’s a bit of a gabber, but you will never meet a nicer pony,” Livingstone continued as he tried to withhold his chortles.

“We are going to be having a ball the night after tomorrow.” Helianthus lowered her head a bit so that she could look Maud in the eye. “I hope you brought formalwear.”

“I did, but Tarnish needs a tuxedo.” Maud tilted her head and looked up at Helianthus. “You seem familiar. Have we met?”

“Oh, I hear that a lot.” Helianthus shook her head, smiled, and let out a cheerful laugh. “We need to get Tarnish dressed up. I know just the place. You two take some time to settle in and get refreshed, and then we will go out together.” Helianthus lifted her head. “Stubbs, dearie, are you going to be ready to go out again in a little while?”

“O’course,” Stubbs replied.

“Livingstone, do be a dear and show them to their new apartment—”

“Apartment?” Tarnish blinked in astonishment.

“Yes, membership has its privileges. Each member of the Stiff Upper Lip Society has an apartment here, a suitable living space to call your own. A home base, if you will.” Helianthus glanced at Maud, who was still staring up at her, her head tilted sideways, and then looked at Tarnish, whose mouth was hanging open, which presented a dangerous opportunity for ingesting insects.

“Your apartment is a nice two bedroom,” Livingstone said, his thick mustache quivering. “Nice young couple like yourselves is bound to have a little bundle of joy on the way sooner or later. The apartment was decorated by one of our other esteemed members, Mellonella Moth. Lots of blues and silvers, with a nice star theme. Not my cup of tea, but she seemed to think that you would like it.”

Maud blinked and stopped staring up at Helianthus. “I’d love to see it.”

“Good, if you will just follow me, I will show you around and help you get settled in,” Livingstone offered.

Author's Notes:

The social pages say that the Stiff Upper Lip Society had the biggest balls of all.