Standing in front of the closet, Tarnished Teapot looked at the clothing hanging inside. His tuxedo and Maud’s gown. They had ended up on Octavia and Vinyl’s floor. Much to Tarnish’s surprise and relief, they resisted wrinkles, probably due to some sort of magic that he didn’t understand.

Helianthus was gone, off to deal with some emergency. Perhaps she had ponies to rescue, Tarnish didn’t know. Octavia and Vinyl were packing so they could leave. Soon, Tarnish and Maud would be packing. Probably today. Not much had even been unpacked. Tarnish realised that he and Maud could leave in just a few minutes if need be.

He didn’t mind leaving; if anything, he was eager to be on the road again. He glanced at his tuxedo, sighed, and thought about happy memories. He and Maud had made friends. Adult friends. The sort of friends you make as a couple. His mother had told him about this sort of thing, it was a sign of growing up.

The apartment was empty, save for himself. Maud had gone out to secure something from a shop, and Tarnish had not gone with her, having decided to stay here for a bit of quiet time so he could sort his head out.

Standing there, in front of the closet, he heard his name being called. He blinked, looked around, and his eyes fell upon his magic mirror, which was sitting on a table in a patch of sunlight. He crossed the room, went to the table, lifted the mirror in his telekinesis, and peered into it. He saw Twilight’s face and then heard her voice.

“Yay! It works! I made my own magic mirror by studying one that Princess Celestia had in storage! It was kinda challenging!” Twilight’s voice was jubilant and exuberant.

Amazed, Tarnish blinked.

“Looking good, Tarnish… now we can see each other. The mirrors work both ways. We now have a more reliable means to communicate and I can get in touch with you. This is great. The spell matrices were so complicated but I managed and now we can talk! This is amazing!”

“Hello Twilight,” Tarnish said as he overcame his stupefication. “How are… things?”

“Oh, things are wonderful. How are things for you?” In the mirror, Twilight smiled.

“Maud and I are having a lovely time,” Tarnish replied. “Say… Twilight, do you know anything about a pony named Helianthus?”

“Oh, Princess Celestia’s friend.” The Twilight in the mirror pursed her lips and shook her head. “Princess Celestia introduced me to her. To tell the truth, I find Helianthus to be a little annoying. She’s silly and kind of… well… I don’t know. She doesn’t take things seriously and she kind of gets on my nerves. But she and Princess Celestia are best friends.”

“Oh really…” Something in the back of Tarnish’s brain balked at this information. Something about the big white earth pony had left him curious and at some point, without realising it, he had picked up a peculiar notion that Helianthus might have been somepony else. “So you’ve seen them in the same room together?”

“What a strange question, are you okay, Tarnish?” Twilight’s mirror image blinked a few times in concern. “Helianthus acts like a silly filly and gets Princess Celestia to laugh. She blows bubbles in her tea. She drinks a bit too much.”

“Oh, I dunno,” Tarnished shrugged and gave Twilight a sheepish grin, knowing she could see him, “it’s nothing, I just had a very silly idea I suppose, one of those absurd thoughts that sit in the back of your mind.”

“I get those all the time!” Twilight’s image looked away from the mirror. “Oh bother, I have to go! There is smoke everywhere! SPIKE!”

Tarnish heard a distant voice say, “I didn’t do it.” Afterwards, the mirror went dead. He set the mirror down upon the table in the sunny patch, looked at his saddlebags in the corner, and couldn’t wait to be on the road again.

Blinking, Tarnished Teapot looked down at the package left in front of his apartment door. There was no sign of anypony in the hallway. The package was wrapped in newspaper and a bright pink ribbon. After another look around, Tarnish lifted it and took it inside the apartment.

He sat it down upon the kitchen table, sat down, and pulled the ribbon. A little paper envelope fell down to the table and Tarnish picked it up in his telekinesis. With gentle care, he pulled it open, not wanting to tear it. Inside, there was a note. He pulled the note free, unfolded it, and began to read.

Tarnished Teapot

Thank you for the lovely time together. I haven’t seen Octavia this happy in a long time. I think she misses having friends. It’s super hard for us, because everypony wants something from us. It’s also very difficult for Octavia to trust males because of some stuff that’s happened. I think you might have restored some of her faith and she keeps talking about you. It’s great hearing her happy.

Enjoy the book. It’s a magical primer, but it breaks everything down into simple and easy to understand terms. It should help you. You had better study hard, because I’ll be checking up on you.

Hope to see you again soon, Vinyl Scratch.

Smiling, Tarnish folded the note, set it down upon the table, and began peeling away the newspaper. Somepony had used the comics for wrapping paper. As the newspaper fell away, a battered looking hardbound book was revealed.

The cover was a dark blue with light blue and gold accents. It was beat up, the corners were scuffed and rounded. The pages had seen some real use. Tarnish lifted it up and read the cover.

Essential Applications of Practical Magical Theory.

Tarnish saw somewhat smaller golden print below the title and he read that too.

A guide by Sunburst.

He flipped the book open and looked inside. The book smelled a bit like perfume, beer, maple syrup, and something almost like cigar smoke. Vinyl Scratch had scribbled copious notes in the margins. On the first few pages there was something that Tarnish believed to be grape jelly, but he couldn’t quite be sure.

He closed the book, lifted it to his face, and rubbed his cheek against it, overcome with a happiness that could not be expressed in words. This book was obviously very dear to Vinyl, and by giving it to him, Tarnish could only deduce that he was very dear to her.

He sat in his kitchen, smiling, feeling very good about himself and he was glad that he had come to Manehattan. This had been a wonderful trip and he couldn’t wait to show Maud his gift.

Maud Pie came through the door with several boxes balanced upon her back. She moved with the sort of fluid grace that only earth ponies had, not disturbing or bouncing the boxes she carried, and made her way into the living room.

Right away, Tarnish began helping, lifting the boxes in his telekinesis and placing them down upon the floor, smiling as he did so. Maud smelled a bit like perfume and what could only be described by Tarnish as a department store smell. Overcome with curiousity, Tarnish began examining the boxes, wondering what Maud had picked up.

“I purchased a few practical items,” Maud said in a flat voice. “I found some really nice blankets in case it gets cold. Of course, we have each other to keep warm.” Maud’s head turned and she looked at Tarnish. “With the coming fall, the nights are going to be chilly. We might also spend some time at higher elevations, and if we do, it will be freezing at night and maybe even during the day.”

“Baby, I can be your hot chocolate,” Tarnish said as he waggled his eyebrows at Maud.

Maud’s eyes widened a bit as she stood there in silence. Her nostrils flared a tiny bit and her barrel expanded as she drew in a deep breath. “You’re hilarious. You always know just what to say.”

Tarnish laughed at his own joke and then asked, “So, what else did you get?”

“I picked up a pith helmet for myself. To keep the sun off of my head and neck. There are two oilcloth canvas coats with wool linings. Those will keep the rain off. The last thing we want is to be wet and cold. I also picked up wool hats, wool scarves, and woollen leg warmers because we can lose a lot of body heat through our legs should we encounter some severe cold.” Maud blinked at Tarnish. “It’s important to be prepared.”

“Neat.” Tarnish drew himself up to his full height and looked down upon Maud. “Vinyl Scratch left me a little present in front of our door. A book to help me with my magic. So I have something to read during our trip home. What about you? Find anything interesting?”

“I did,” Maud replied. “I found a very interesting book.”

“What is it? What is it called? What is it about?” Tarnish felt a growing sense of curiousity, but he suspected it was a book about rocks. One eyebrow lifted as Maud dove into a bag and began to rummage around. With her head down in the bag and her rump up in the air, Tarnish began feeling a bit flustered, his sixteen year old hormones reminding him that said rump was warm and receptive to his advances.

Maud pulled her head out of the bag and a book was held in her teeth. Tarnish lowered his head and looked at the book she was holding. The first thing he saw were numbers printed in bold, black text. 202. What a peculiar title. Tarnish focused on the cover art and it took him several long seconds to realise that there were two little ponies in a very peculiar position and they were doing—

NO! Tarnish jerked his head up in shock, his mouth falling open. Unable to help himself, he lowered his head once more and had another look. Yep, those ponies were boning, but they were doing it in such a weird way. Tarnish tilted his head from one side to another, trying to take it in. The mare was laying on her back on a flat surface, her head tilted back, and the stallion was mounting her face, his hooves braced on either side of her body. She appeared to be on an elevated surface, like a bed or a table.

202. Tarnish guessed that there were going to be two hundred and two positions of weird, freaky circus sex. He couldn’t believe that Maud had purchased the book. She was still holding it in her mouth, looking up at him with her perfect, beautiful eyes. He saw her blink and heard the faint rustle of her eyelashes, a sound as soft as falling snowflakes.

Grinning, Tarnish took the book out of Maud’s mouth, and then he heard her say, “I like one hundred and sixty.”

Tarnish’s eyes darted around his apartment as if he suspected that he was going to be caught reading the dirty book. Nervous, his frogs sweating, he pulled the book open, flipped through the pages, and in no time at all, he found position one hundred and sixty.

It was a two page spread, like all of the other positions, showing it from different angles and offering advice for best results. This position showed a mare sitting on a stallion’s face, riding him, with her front hooves braced on the stallion’s barrel. Tarnish felt his mouth go dry and he gulped. The mare in the book looked quite happy to be sitting on her lover’s face; her tongue was hanging out, her eyes were crossed, and her back was arched in pleasure.

There were several paragraphs on what to do, how to do it, ways to get better depth, how to use one’s chin to stimulate a mare’s clitoris, and even some helpful advice to eat some strong peppermints before the encounter to add a delightful cooling sensation to increase the mare’s pleasure.

Tarnish lowered the book when he heard a rustle of paper and he looked at Maud, who was pulling something out. He almost dropped the book when he saw the bag of peppermint candies that Maud had tugged out from her bags and parcels. She had the bag of candies held in her mouth and she was looking up at him, blinking. Something about those eyes… Tarnish suddenly found it very difficult to breathe.

There was only one thing to do in this situation. Tarnish pulled the bag of peppermint candies away from Maud, tore it open, took out several candies, pulled off the cellophane wrappers using his telekinesis, tossed the candies into his mouth, tossed away the bag of peppermints along with the now empty wrappers, lifted Maud in his telekinesis while still holding the book, and then took off towards the bedroom, tossing his head around while snorting.

The very best learning came from books and lots of practice.

Author's Notes:

Soon: the rock farm.