Half awake, Tarnished Teapot ate a bowl of granola, sliced bananas, and milk. Across from him, Maud ate the same thing, and the two sleepy ponies took turns exchanging yawns. A cup of tea sat steaming a few inches away from Tarnish’s bowl.

“Tarnish?”

Tarnish crunched the granola in his mouth a few times, swallowed, licked his teeth, and then replied, “Yeah?”

“I’m so excited about tonight that I don’t think I can stand myself right now,” Maud said in the most monotonous monotone ever monotoned. “It’s like when Pinkie Pie got me something for Hearth’s Warming and then not knowing what it was. This is awful.”

There was more crunching as Tarnish took a big bite of cereal. He stared at Maud and had some kind of understanding. There were moments when he heard something resembling a reaction in her voice, and he was getting better at spotting those, and then there were moments when, like now, she was utterly devoid of anything. It too, was a reaction of sorts and he filed away his observation for later thought, when he was a bit more awake.

“I feel as though I’ve accomplished something with my life.” Maud’s head hung over her bowl and her lips were flecked with droplets of milk. “I get to be a geologist and do what I love. I get to be with you. We get to have adventures together, and that is our job. Do you understand how lucky we are?”

Chewing a slab of banana, Tarnish nodded.

“I’m also making friends… I haven’t had a lot of friends, Tarnish… just my sisters.” Maud stared down into her cereal bowl. “I like Tree Hugger. She’s a good pony. She wants to help others.”

One of Tarnish’s ears twitched as he thought about how Tree Hugger’s entire demeanour had changed, how she talked, and how intelligent she was. She was something else, that was for certain. Something special. He ate another spoonful of granola.

Lowering her head, Maud dipped her muzzle into her cereal bowl and slurped in some granola. Breakfast became a quiet affair once more, a moment of silent togetherness, the sort of comfortable silence where two ponies who loved another didn’t need to fill the air with nervous chatter. As Maud chewed, she looked up at Tarnish with her eyes and gave him what she hoped was the most loving look she could muster.

Looking at Maud, Tarnish wondered if she was about to fall asleep in her bowl.

As Tarnish peered into the common room, he realised that he was looking at Daring Do. She was talking with Mister Briar, the earth pony with the missing leg. Daring Do… A.K. Yearling. He felt his mouth go dry and Tarnish stood staring, suffering a moment of celebrity worship.

It took a moment, but he realised that Daring Do was staring back. He watched as she made a gesture to come over. Unable to believe his own luck, he made his long legs move and he shuffled over to stand beside the world famous adventurer.

“I know you,” the famous pegasus said in a low voice as Tarnish approached.

“You do?” Tarnish froze in place, his head lifting, and he looked down on the much smaller pegasus.

“You went into a giant spider den. Rescued some foal. That takes guts. You carry around a magic mirror and a magic sword… pretty unusual for a big, rough, tough stallion to carry around a magic mirror.”

Tarnish felt his cheeks grow warm as he smiled.

“You’re uh, what’s her name”—Daring Do paused, pointed at Tarnish with her wing, and turning her head, she revealed a long line of stitches going up her neck—“Maud Pie’s husband. The papers called you her faithful bodyguard, her devoted unicorn servant, and there was something about you owing her a life debt because she saved you from some ruffians down near Dodge City Junction.”

“Uh, what?” Tarnished blinked a few times as he tried to take in everything that Miss Yearling had just said.

“Eh, the newspapers always embellish the details a little.” The pegasus let out a dismissive snort. “There is no shame in being a devoted unicorn servant though.” Daring Do paused and looked Tarnish right in the eye. “I heard that Maud got into a fight with a hydra and she delivered a total beat down.”

“Yeah,” Tarnish replied as he nodded his head and then he started to shake his head. “No... I’m not her devoted unicorn—” Tarnish cut himself off mid sentence to correct himself. “I am her devoted unicorn husband, but I am not her servant… what are the papers saying about us?”

Black Briar, propped up in his chair, began to snigger and covered his muzzle with his hoof as his glazed over eyes glimmered with mirth. With each laugh, each little snort, his ears twitched, jerking up and down.

“We fought the hydra together… she lept down the hydra’s throat, got herself swallowed, and then punched it to death from the inside.” Tarnish continued to shake his head. “We were on our honeymoon… well, technically, we are still honeymooning, or trying to, we were trying to have a nice time when the volcano exploded and almost killed us.”

“See, Mister Briar, look how casually he mentions these things. Poor fella has it bad.” Daring Do rolled her eyes and let out a low laugh.

“What?” Tarnish blinked. “What? I have what bad? I don’t understand what is going on here. Could somepony kindly explain what is going on?”

“Mister Teapot… we’re adventurers. The stories we tell are no stranger or larger than life than the stories the newspapers tell. Listen to yourself. You speak in such a casual manner about picking a fight with a hydra on your honeymoon and surviving a volcano. We’re not like other ponies. We’re extraordinary. Which is why we are here, in this place, with each other, with other like minded adventurous types. At some point, you stopped being the common, timid pony and you, you didn’t even notice. You speak of these things as if they were normal, commonplace. And for you, they are.” Black Briar gave a pain filled smile to Tarnish.

“Well said, Mister Briar, well said.” Daring Do clapped her hooves together. “I could not have said it better myself.” The pegasus reached up and scratched her neck near her stitches. “Welcome to the club, Mister Teapot. You are going to be dreadfully bored whenever things get too normal. You will never be satisfied with a calm, peaceful, boring day. You are going to spend the rest of your life placing yourself in danger, trying to capture that next thrill, and you and Maud are going to have a wonderful time. You will enjoy a happiness that most ponies will never know.” Miss Yearling bowed her head. “If you will excuse me, I must go and find Doctor Livingstone and let him know that I have arrived.”

Standing agape, Tarnish watched as Daring Do got up and walked away. He had no idea what he was feeling as he watched her go. She vanished through the decorative doors and they closed with a muted click.

Black Briar began chuckling, an almost drunken sound. “We’re heroes… we’re the good guys… and it’s always so funny when the new guy has no idea what he’s stumbled into. The Stiff Upper Lip Society… hahahahahahahah!”

Looking at the laughing three legged earth pony, Tarnish raised his eyebrow. He wondered what Maud was up to. All he knew was that she was getting herself fixed up for tonight and had joined Helianthus to get her mane done. He had the dreadful feeling that he had in fact stumbled into something beyond his understanding, something out of his league, and he didn’t like it.

“Hey,” Mister Briar said in a low voice. “Don’t take this wrong… you’re needed here. We’re all needed here. The world needs heroes. Some of them go out and fight the big evils, like Princess Twilight Sparkle. Others go out and fight garden variety evils and the bad things in the world, like Daring Do and her neverending struggle against Ahuizotl. Most of the time, we hardly ever get noticed. And then there are the day to day heroes… police officers, firefighters, paramedics… the nice pony that helps foals cross a busy street so they can get to school on time… there are not enough of us in the world. Not in the slightest.” The earth pony fell silent and his eyes glazed over even more. “It is in this place we gather.”

“Are you okay? Do you need some help?” Tarnish asked.

“My nurse will be back in a bit, she had to go and get something. I’ll be fine.”

Worried, Tarnish sat down in the chair beside the suffering earth pony and tried to think about everything that Mister Briar had said.

“The world is a crazy, dangerous place, but you know that. You’ve seen it. You went into a cave full of spiders to rescue some filly. You did it because it was the right thing to do. Never stop doing the right thing. Don’t get discouraged. Just keep being you and everything will be fine.” Black Briar grinned, which was more of a grimace of pain than anything. “Just remember to keep a stiff upper lip…”

The excitement of the evening was beginning to settle in and Tarnish was jittery. There had been an unsettling encounter earlier, he worried about performing well, and there were a million things upon his mind. Maud was still getting ready hours later.

Tarnish looked at the box on the bed that held his tuxedo and tried to ignore his sweaty frogs. He felt a little lonesome in this apartment all by himself. He glanced at the clock and thought about dinner. After a moment of consideration, he realised he was too jittery to eat. Too nervous. He didn’t feel all that hungry.

It was time to get ready, go downstairs, and wait for Maud. Tonight had to be perfect. Tarnish looked at himself in the mirror. Tall, chocolate brown, and without trying to be vain, he admitted to himself that he might be kinda handsome, in a scrawny sort of way. Tarnish made the decision to shower before getting dressed and with a smile at his own reflection, he headed for the shower.

Stepping through the doors, Tarnish saw her. He froze in the doorway, his legs no longer working. She was a vision of perfect loveliness. Maud stood with Helianthus, Octavia, and Vinyl Scratch. Tarnish had some trouble breathing as he looked at her. Her gown was amazing and dazzled his eyes. Her mane, which was curled, was swept up in a what Tarnish recalled was a beehive. Little curls had worked their way free already, clung to Maud’s ears, and spilled around her face. The visible parts of her pelt were immaculate, brushed to a fine sheen.

“Hello, Handsome,” Maud said in a flat voice.

“Hi!” Tarnish squeaked in reply, his voice picking the perfect time to break.

Beside Maud, Octavia let out a demure giggle and gave her partner Vinyl a nudge. Helianthus, who towered over them all, took a step forwards. The big white earth pony was wearing a bright orange dress with vibrant yellow accents. Octavia was wearing a simple black gown, nothing too fancy, and Vinyl was wearing an electric blue tuxedo jacket and a hot pink skinny tie over a neon green shirt.

Alone, Maud was breathtaking, but in the company of the other mares, it was all too much. Tarnish stood staring as Maud approached him, her dress swishing with each step. He leaned closer to her when she drew near, inhaled, and smelled something sweet, something heady.

“You clean up well,” Maud said in a soft, low voice. “Look at you… I feel like the belle of the ball… and you, you’re my handsome prince.”

“D’awwwwya,” Tarnish murmured in reply, unable to form a coherent response.

“This is the magical night I’ve been dreaming of.” Maud stepped a little closer to Tarnish and rubbed her muzzle against his neck. “I’m just a sweet little earth pony maid from the farm and all of this is very exciting for me. Thank you, Tarnish.”

“D’awwwyup.” Tarnish was struggling; never had Maud been so attractive. He wanted her in a bad way. It took all of his control to keep himself together. Maud was going to get her magical night, even if it killed him. His ears perked when he heard music.

“Oh, the music is starting,” Helianthus announced. “That first dance really sets the mood for the evening. Come on, you two… Mister Teakettle, are you still with us?”

Tarnish nodded, his ears flopping, and he stared down into Maud’s eyes.

“Tell her she’s pretty… just… say something,” Helianthus said to Tarnish.

“You’re beautiful.” Tarnish recovered his senses as his blood flow directed back to his brain, retreating from other, somewhat optimistic places that had just had their hopes and dreams crushed. “Dance with me, my love…”

Author's Notes:

Next chapter... dancing! I uh, don't know how well this will turn out... so, uh, don't get your hopes up? I guess? I don't know.