Sergeant Iron Phalanx was, by all appearances, about as stereotypical as a pegasus Royal Guard could get. Arctic blue eyes, grayish-azurish mane immaculately trimmed and a bit short, white coat. He was well-built, spending considerable time to keeping himself fit, and a touch taller than most ponies. His skill with the pike was such that he had been training ponies in the art of polehoof combat for several years now; his cutie mark was a pair of crossed pikes.

He was, in fact, involved in training at this moment. He ducked under the rubberized pike swung at his head. “Come on,” he said to his opponent as he shuffled a bit out of range, “you call that a sweep? You’re too high! Aim lower!” His speech wasn’t inhibited in the slightest by the mouthguard he was wearing.

The Earth pony trainee, one Buck Pryor, blinked, readjusted his stance, and took a step forward. After an instant’s hesitation, he swung again, taking Phalanx’s advice. He aimed for just above the knees; not high enough to duck under, not low enough to jump over. A perfect hit.

Or at least, it would’ve been if Phalanx hadn’t swept his wings down at the same time he jumped, taking him a little further into the air and neatly over the pike by an inch. “I’m a pegasus!” he snapped as he landed. “Know your opponent’s abilities! Is this the best you got?”

Pryor was sweating, although only part of that was nerves. The two of them had been at it a while and working up a heat the chilly breeze of early evening couldn’t quite alleviate. But Phalanx could tell the kid was stressing out; he hadn’t managed to land a clean hit yet. Of course, if he could, he wouldn’t need to go through pikepony training. But he wouldn’t think of that; the new blood never did. Including, Phalanx reflected, himself, when he was new, but look at him now.

Pryor shuffled a bit, and swung for Phalanx’s center of mass. This would’ve been a near-perfect hit -- just a bit too high for pegasi to jump over, still to low to duck under -- if it hadn’t been so telegraphed. Phalanx raised a wing and sidestepped to go with the pike a little, minimizing the force of its impact on his flank, then clamped his wing down, pinning the pike. He turned on the spot, wrenching the pike from Pryor.

A bit too easily, as it turned out. The trainee had yanked his hooves out of the handles of the pike the moment Phalanx had lowered his wing, and Phalanx turned too hard, almost losing his balance. He recovered, but not before Pryor had jumped forward and landed on the pike, forcing it to the ground and out of Phalanx’s grip.

Not bad, Phalanx admitted to himself. But you didn’t praise cadets until you were done with them. Besides, Pryor had broken Phalanx’s hold on the pike rather than using it as a lever or something similar, and was a bit too close to him to be safe. Still an amateur.

Phalanx bit down on Pryor’s mane, the mouthguard preventing him from doing any actual damage. But damage wasn’t his intent; Phalanx dropped to one side, rolling over and pulling the overbalanced Pryor with him. As he continued the roll, he scooped a wing under the pike and flipped it up into the air. He neatly stopped the roll with Pryor beneath him and pressed a hoof into his chest, keeping him from rising. Phalanx grabbed the pike out of the air with his mouth and lightly poked its rubber end into Pryor’s nose. Defeated.

For a moment, the two of them simply held their positions, panting slightly. Then Phalanx removed his hoof from Pryor’s chest and dropped the pike to the ground. “I think we’re done here for today.” He walked to the edge of the training field and spat the mouthguard into the relevant dish. “You’re improving. Moving faster and hitting harder.”

“Thank you, thir,” said Pryor. He didn’t have much experience with mouthguards and still sounded a bit like a colt with his first retainer. “I’ve been working on my thtanthes.” He spat his own mouthguard out. “I only just realized -- I mean, really realized -- how important hoofwork is.”

“I noticed. But you still need to work on placement; a good hit could leave you unbalanced. Your hooves are too widely spaced, and when you’re on three legs, you’re not compensating for the one you lifted.”

Pryor began to grow pink and was suddenly incredibly interested in a blade of grass. Phalanx wasn’t sure why; most trainees still had placement issues at this stage, so he was hardly behind. “Yes, sir,” he said.

“Dismissed.”

Pryor nodded and left the practice field.

Phalanx rolled his forelegs in their joints; he’d been doing this for years, now, and still got sore after a good day’s training. You’d think that that’d stop eventually, but evidently, the universe had other plans. Maybe it was karmic payback for not getting sore when the trainees swung at him and they missed or he dodged. Which didn’t explain why he still got sore when they got good and started hitting him, but whatever.

He was about to leave when a mare wearing the uniform and bag of a royal courier shot out of the doorway and skidded to a halt right in front of him. “Sergeant Iron Phalanx?” Before he’d finished nodding, she said, “Message for you, sir. From Princess Luna.” She shoved a scroll at him and was gone before he could say anything else.

She must be running late, Phalanx thought. Laying the scroll on a table, he broke the seal and rolled it out. Royal letterhead screamed at him from the top of the paper, almost crowding out the first few lines. Sergeant Iron Phalanx, the note said, I wish to speak with you regarding certain recent matters. Please meet with me at the statue in the city square at nine o’clock tonight. --Luna

That was short. Phalanx flipped the scroll over, but there was nothing on the other side. Hmm. Maybe she just didn’t want to risk the information “certain recent matters” getting out -- whatever they were, although Phalanx had a good idea.

What could Luna want with me? he thought, staring at the note. Was it something with the Elements of Harmony? Maybe, but why him? There were plenty of others who’d probably be better qualified. But the Princess would have a reason. Right? She and Celestia were smart; for all he knew, they made this decision together, and in that case…

Phalanx pushed the thoughts out of his mind; he’d ask Luna when he met with her. In the meantime, he still had a few hours to kill before the meeting. And if he was being sent out somewhere, he had a few affairs to get in order.

Phalanx waited by the large statue of Luna in the city square. He was early, but he’d rather be early than late.

He had seen Princess Luna, of course, and was somewhat shocked to see her acting far outside the decorum usual for a princess. It was one thing to hear that she was more approachable on Nightmare Night, but quite another to see her soaking wet after bobbing for apples or chasing after gleefully shrieking foals while wearing cheesy plastic fangs or declaring victory in the pumpkin-catapult game with the Royal Canterlot Voice. Phalanx would never have thought she’d go that far. What next, was she going to start dressing up?

And then there was the large pile of candy next to the statue. He knew that the foals left it out to keep “Nightmare Moon” from gobbling them up, and so Luna would most likely claim it… but then what? Would she throw it away? From what little he knew of Luna as a person, she was a bit too polite for that. Donate it? To whom? Equestria had charities, sure, but it was unlikely that they’d accept this sort of loose candy, even from one of the Princesses. Eat it? That seemed the most likely, but that wasn’t saying a whole lot. It was hard to picture Luna chowing down on a Horshey bar. The whole tradition seemed a bit silly to Phalanx; ponies of her stature eating candy was just one of Those Things that simply Did Not Happen.

That didn’t stop him from swiping a piece or two, though. Not like anypony’d notice them missing.

A shadow passed over him as Luna flew in from a corner of the square. As she settled in front of him, Phalanx respectfully bowed down to the ground, wings spread. “Your Highness.”

Luna folded her own wings. “At ease, Sergeant.”

Phalanx straightened up, ready to talk about whatever Luna wanted to talk about, when he noticed that she still had the plastic fangs in her mouth. And once he noticed, he couldn’t tear his eyes away. Seeing them on Luna, all elegant and regal, like that was just so… cheesy. Dorky. Bizarre. Goofy.

He only realized that he was staring when Luna asked, “Is something wrong?”

“Well, um,” said Phalanx sheepishly, “pardon me, Your Highness, but… you’ve still got… the, uh…” He poked a hoof at his mouth.

“Hmm?” asked Luna, tilting her head. Then, “Ah, yes. My apologies.” She spat the fangs out and tucked them away.

Oh, hay. Why not ask her? “Your Highness, I… I was wondering,” began Phalanx, then cut himself off. It felt like asking the question would be… insubordinate, almost, or improper; he found it hard to get the words out.

But Luna didn’t seem to notice his anxiety, or (more likely, given her previous attitude) simply didn’t care. She nodded and made a “continue” gesture.

Phalanx swallowed, concealing his nervousness at questioning a Princess, and continued. “I was wondering, why do you act like you do on Nightmare Night? I… It just doesn’t make much sense to me, seeing a Princess squealing like a schoolfilly because she was better at tossing toy spiders than anyone else.” And already he felt like his question was stupid. Too personal.

Luna gave a quick, lilting laugh. “Have you ever really thought about that behavior, Phalanx? Or did you merely hear of it, dismiss it as something odd, and then push it to the back of your mind?” Her voice wasn’t the slightest bit angry; more amused.

“The latter, I… guess,” said Phalanx. He guiltily shuffled his hooves. I never really did think about it, did I? “Although…” Gears were already turning in his head. “I suppose you’ve got have one day to relax and just have fun.”

“There is more to it than simple fun,” said Luna, “although I do like discarding the trappings of royalty for one night. It is partially born from tradition; in the first few years after the Reunion, there were ponies who, quite understandably, still associated me with Nightmare Moon and their fear of her. My informality here…” She waved a hoof around the square. “…started as a way for them to get over that fear, for them to see that Nightmare Moon was a thing of the past. When they had grown used to me, I…” She rubbed the back of her neck. And was she looking sheepish? “…confess that I had grown to like my little outings, and so kept them up. It is still a good way for me to stay close to my subjects, to keep me from becoming so distant that I forget who I am Princess of.”

She glanced furtively around them, then at the candy pile. A piece levitated out of it as Luna leaned in close to Phalanx and said in a stage whisper, “Also, I get free candy.”

Phalanx blinked. Was she being serious? He coughed. “Milady,” he said, “forgive if I’m stepping out of line, but don’t you think… you might be a bit… old for candy?”

Luna raised an eyebrow and gave him a mock look of surprise. “Too old for free candy?” she asked, faux-offended. She ate the piece out of the air. “NEVER!” she thundered. Literally. In spite of the cloudless night, lightning cracked through the square and her Royal Canterlot Voice reverberated with a dozen others. Far too much of an overreaction to be anything but a joke, although the suddenness still made Phalanx jump a bit.

“Well, then,” said Phalanx, smoothing his mane, “perhaps I should attend next year’s Nightmare Night.”

“Be sure to wear a costume,” said Luna. She cleared her throat, and her voice became more serious. “Now, to business. I assume you are aware of what happened in Ponyville last night?”

“Yes, of course,” said Phalanx, nodding. “But isn’t somebody already working on it? I haven’t heard anything about that, but I figured…”

“We do, but…” Luna’s voice grew grim. “But I doubt this will be so easy as simply investigating a robbery. Do you know how just much protection went into the Elements? Besides the usual physical barriers, there was layer upon layer upon layer of spells, wards, enchantments, all undone. And we haven’t the slightest clue who or what did it.” She sighed and gazed off into the distance. “Dark days are ahead.”

She blinked and came back to here and now. “So I’m sending you to Ponyville to assist in the investigation. Call me paranoid, but I think whatever stole the Elements won’t appreciate us poking around their handiwork. I’m sending a magic specialist to aid in the investigation, and I want you to be able to provide some protection for her.”

“Understood, milady,” said Phalanx, bowing slightly.

“You’ll meet her at the train station tomorrow morning,” continued Luna. “I’ve already booked you a pair of seats on the 9:37 train to Ponyville. She’ll have your tickets.”

“Again, understood.” Then Phalanx realized: “What’s her name?”

“Chandrasekhar Lina.”

Phalanx’s mind actually skipped a beat trying to process the name. It was… long. And strange. Probably not originally from Equestria. Indeccania, maybe? It sounded a bit like it. But whatever. The name just didn’t stick in his mind. He tried to cover his surprise with a cough. “Um… could you repeat that, please?”

“Chandrasekhar Lina.” Luna didn’t seem to notice Phalanx’s worry at all, even if she could probably guess it.

Chandra… Chandrasomething Something. “All right, got it,” lied Phalanx. He knew he’d look like an ignorant jerk if he needed the name repeated too much, and, well, he didn’t want to look like that to one of the Princesses. They were kind of Important in the grand scheme of things, so he didn’t want his credibility with them to drop. He’d much rather fumble over the name in front of Chandrasomething herself later and look like an ignorant moron instead. She’d probably understand, at least a little.

But was being an ignorant moron really that much better than being an ignorant jerk? Even if it was “only” to a magic specialist rather than a Princess. It was almost like he was saying that he couldn’t be bothered to completely remember her na-

“Do you have any other questions?” Luna asked, jolting him out of his thoughts.

“Um, well,” said Phalanx, pulling his mind together, “I suppose… why are you only bringing this up now? If this is so important, why didn’t you do anything about it earlier?”

“Because this is about as early as it could get done,” said Luna. She rubbed a hoof against her head, as if she was tired. “You have to understand, something like this has never happened before in the history of Equestria. It-”

“Hold on a moment,” Phalanx interjected. “Seventy years ago, Discord stole the Elements. Why isn’t this like that?” I hope I’m not too out of line, here.

“Because he was nice enough to tell us he did it,” said Luna, “and told us where to find them. He was defeated within the hour, remember?” A small smile was dancing on her lips.

“Ah. Right.”

“Other situations are similar. In short, we have either precedence or a clear obstacle and a clear way to getting around that obstacle. Here, however, we have nothing. We simply didn’t know where to start. My sister and I spent the entire day debating a course of action, beyond the standard police investigation. We only reached a decision shortly before you received the order to come here.”

Phalanx couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow. “But you still decided to run around with foals before sending me off to find the most important artifacts in the country?” Horseapples why did I say that she’s going to have m-

“I… needed some time to unwind,” Luna said in a voice that technically wasn’t defensive, but could see defensiveness if it peeked around the corner. “Nightmare Night was the only break I had from my duties in twenty-four hours, and I was a bit stressed.”

-or not. Has she seriously been up all that time? “Twenty-four hours?” asked Phalanx, his voice a little quiet. “And you’re still staying up tonight?”

Luna shrugged. “It is my duty,” she said, as if that explained everything. “I’ve been through worse, don’t worry about me.”

“Alright,” said Phalanx, although he was still a bit unsure. And there was something el- “And, milady, of all the ponies you could choose from to protect-” crapwhat’shernameagain “-your representative on magic-” phew “-why did you pick me?”

Phalanx was expecting a quick answer. “Your record is outstanding”, “you have a good rapport among the other soldiers”, “you were recommended”, “eenie-meenie-miney-mo”, something like that. A solid answer.

What he wasn’t expecting was for Luna to suddenly grow contemplative, frown, and tilt her head as she looked at him. She opened her mouth a few times, like she was going to say something, only to close it again. She barely moved aside from the occasional rustle of her wings.

Crap, Phalanx thought. Was that too personal? But if it was, she’d say so. Was she just not expecting that question? Or is she just looking for the right way to phrase it?

Evidently, the latter. Eventually, Luna took a deep breath. “Call it…” she said slowly, “call it indulging an old mare’s hunch, if you would?”

Well, okay. Were hunches good or bad? Princess hunches were usually good. Usually. And she still looked… distant and contemplative. Almost like the kind of look you’d have when trying to decide whether or not a foal was old enough for something. But then, if Phalanx wasn’t meant to know now, he’d probably know later. Foals grew up, after all. “Very well,” Phalanx said, bowing one last time. “Will there be anything else, Your Highness?”

“No,” said Luna, shaking her head. “Not unless you have something to add.”

“No.”

“Then our time here is concluded,” said Luna. “I wish you the best of luck.” She pulled a large burlap sack out from under a wing. Holding it open, she magically shovelled the pile of candy into it.

Phalanx blinked and stared at her in surprise, his mouth slightly open.

Luna stared back, a “so what?” sort of look, as she pulled the drawstrings shut. She took the neck of the sack in her teeth and, giving one last nod to Phalanx, flew off.

Phalanx was about to leave when he noticed that, in her departure, Luna had left a few pieces of candy behind. Some chocolate bars, a thing of bubble gum, and a couple of fruit chews. Given the amount she had, Luna wouldn’t miss it. She might have even left it behind for him on purpose.

And so Phalanx was presented with a quandary.

On the one hoof, free candy.

But on the other hoof, the Protective Pony Platoons had an image to maintain. It wouldn’t look good if the proud vanguards of Equestria all had potbellies. Candy was… well, just one of those things that a soldier didn’t have much of, since he needed to stay fit.

But on the other other hoof, a few pieces wouldn’t hurt. He hardly went binging on the stuff every day. Also, free candy.

But on the other other other hoof, he was a bit old for-

Too old for free candy? Never.

Well. That settled that.

Although he still checked to be sure that no one noticed him taking it.