Vanguard glared at the prison guard. “Look, I’m not trying to be difficult. I just want to talk to the prisoners. Just a few minutes would be fine.” He’d been at this a while and was almost grinding his teeth.

The guard put up his hooves in a “hey, calm down” gesture. “Believe me, Captain, you have my sympathies, you really do. But Princess Celestia ordered that no pony be allowed to see them.”

“Not even me, the Captain of the entire Royal Guard?”

“Nopony means nopony. You’re somepony. I’m genuinely sorry, sir, but I can’t let you in.”

At least you couldn’t fault his loyalty. Vanguard sighed. “And I suppose there’s nothing I can do about it?”

“Not unless you can get Celestia to revoke her stance. Until then, sorry.”

And that trashed that. “Fine.” Vanguard knew it wasn’t the guard’s fault (he genuinely did sound sorry), but it took all his might to avoid getting snippy. He was used to giving orders, not obeying them. And on the rare occasion he did receive orders, they were at least sane.

Dupinto was waiting outside the room. “No luck?”

“Nope.”

“Son of a gelding. What’s the reason this time?”

“We can’t talk to anypony because Celestia says so.”

“That’s it? That’s…” Dupinto turned and banged his head against the wall a few times. “Is she even trying anymore? If she’s so adamant that they pose no danger to her, why can’t we just visit them? Either they pose a security risk or they don’t, make up your stupid mind!”

“We knew this was a long shot,” said Vanguard. “Even if we got in and tried questioning one of them, they probably wouldn’t answer us.” His words sounded patronizing even to him.

“That’s not the problem!” said Dupinto, his voice slowly getting louder and his ears back. “The problem is that I just want to look into a crime, and Celestia goes and takes it upon herself to stymie the investigation at every opportunity because of some incredibly vague reason that’s a big steaming load of minotaur manure anyway!”

He snorted and glared at the ground. “Let’s get outside,” he mumbled. “I need my air.” He left before Vanguard could respond.

Vanguard trotted to catch up with him, and Dupinto started talking again. “Look, I know that it probably wouldn’t’ve yielded any results. But I’d be fine with that. Well, okay, maybe not fine, it’d still suck, but it’d be tolerable. The issue here is that we keep running into barriers randomly set up by the one pony who should be helping us the most. I swear, it’s like-”

It took Vanguard a few moments to realize Dupinto wasn’t by his side anymore. He looked around and saw Dupinto several paces behind him, frozen mid-stride and looking thoroughly shocked. “Okay,” Vanguard said, “what’s up?”

Dupinto slowly put his hooves back down on the ground and chewed his lip for a second. He glanced around, as if he was worried someone might see them, then leaned in close to Vanguard and whispered, “You… you don’t think Celestia’s… involved, do you? That this is all her idea somehow?”

It was the kind of idea that both explained a lot and was utterly ludicrous. On the one hoof, assuming Celestia was involved and trying to keep something secret immediately put all her actions in a new light. It immediately gave a simple reason for Celestia’s borderline obsession with keeping the whole thing out of their reach: she didn’t want some secret getting out.

But on the other, why? What did she gain from this? She faked an attempt on her life, but then what? So far, all it had done was call attention to her. And what would’ve happened if the invaders had been stopped before they got to her chambers? There were too many variables on that side for it to be reasonable.

“…I don’t know,” said Vanguard. “That’s, yeah, it explains some things, but it just raises a lot more questions in other places.”

“I know, but…” Dupinto groaned in frustration and snorted. “I guess I just want to blame someone, anyone, and Celestia’s providing a good target.” He started walking again. “I was planning to go to watch a play tonight, you know. Rein or Shine just started its run. But then this came up, and it was more important, and then it didn’t yield anything, and wlaugh.”

“Sorry.”

“It’s not that bad, I can always go another night, but…” Dupinto coughed and grinned sheepishly. “Well, you know.”

Vanguard nodded. “It’s all you’ve been saying for the past five minutes.”

“Yeah.” By now, they were out on the streets. “Anyway, thanks for the help. Such as it was.”

“If you get a brainstorm and I can help, just let me know. I’ll make sure your letter gets through.”

Dupinto flicked his tail and snorted. “Don’t count on it. See you… maybe later, maybe never.”

“Heh. See you maybe later, maybe never.”

That night, Vanguard dreamed.

“Baron von Ruthless!” he bellowed across the smoky factory factory floor. “Give yourself up! Your time machine is destroyed. Your goons are scattered. And your base is burning to the ground around you. Your plan is no more!”

Von Ruthless cackled and twirled his supremely fancy moustache. “Not so, Captain,” he sneered. “Did you really believe that I would not have a backup plan! Not so. For you see, although that time machine was indeed unique, be it far from me to not be prepared for just such an eventuality as this. What preparations, you may ask? I’m sorry to say that you shall not be privy to them just yet! And in spite of my losses, I have plenty more minions at my disposal, and they are so excited to meet you. Oh, coooolts!”

The wall behind him burst in, destroyed by a barrage of magic. When the dust cleared, almost a dozen assorted ponies were marching in, all of them staring at Vanguard with murder in their eyes.

“And now, I must take my leave. Ta ta!” Von Ruthless pulled out a grappling hook and hurled it upwards, where it was snagged by a passing autogyro, yanking him away from the scene.

The baron’s minions began charging, and Vanguard frowned. “Ten of you against one of me? This is hardly fair. Do you want me to close my eyes? Or m-”

Something boomed outside the factory, shaking it to its foundations, and a brilliant light blazed in from the skylights. Luna slammed through the roof and landed hard. A shockwave blasted out, throwing everypony through the air except for herself and Vanguard.

“Princess Luna!” he yelled. “Finally! The baron h-” He blinked and frowned. “Wait. Are you a Luna that I’m dreaming up or a Luna who’s entered my dreams from the outside?”

Luna tapped a hoof on the ground and everything froze. “I assure you, Captain, I am quite real. I hope you will forgive me for interrupting you dream, but I believe I can assist you.” She glanced over her shoulder at the retreating von Ruthless, barely visible in the distance. “Not in this, though. You should always dispatch them when decide to start blathering.”

“He was doing his hammy gloating speech,” protested Vanguard. “I wanted to hear his hammy gloating speech. Those’re always fun, even if they don’t make much sense. Besides, it’s a dream. I wouldn’t be doing this alone if it wasn’t.”

“Very well.” White light obscured Vanguard’s vision for half a moment. When it died down, he and Luna were standing in a starry void on top of a path also made of stars. It was dead-straight and ran out of sight in both directions, bordered on both sides by doors of every size and style.

Dupinto was testing the knob on one, but not having any luck. He sighed and turned away from it. He jumped a little when he saw Luna. “That was quick,” he said guiltily. “I thought, um…”

Luna paid his sheepishness no attention and turned to Vanguard. “Just to be safe, you know this pony, right?” She gestured to Dupinto.

“Yeah. Dupinto. Detective on the Elements of Harmony case and former one on the invasion case. We did a tiny bit of work together.”

“A few minutes ago, I noticed his dreams were unusually tumultuous,” said Luna. “When I went to still them, he told me about your failed attempt to question one. I myself cannot understand my sister’s motives at the moment, so I was sympathetic. I believe I can help you.”

Dupinto was bouncing on the tips of his hooves and grinning. “Her idea’s great. We just go into their dreams and question them there. It doesn’t even matter which one, and there’s no way for Celestia to know about it. Perfect. I’m just making sure you’re okay with it.”

Vanguard blinked. That… was actually a really good idea. It was just so simple. He’d never have thought to ask Luna for help. “Yeah. Yeah. That’s, wow, yeah. Let’s do it.” He glanced at Luna “Out of curiosity, could you tell if the pony being questioned is lying? Magically, I mean, if you can come into dreams…”

“In theory, yes,” said Luna, “but that would require me to go far deeper into the subconscious than I am comfortable with. It is not dangerous, but merely an abhorrent violation of privacy. I have not tried it, and I intend to never do so. Dreams are open, but a pony’s innermost thoughts should remain their own. Now…” The doors on either side of the path blurred, and infinite doors collapsed down to fourteen or fifteen. “Do either of you have a specific pony you would like to question?”

“The leader,” Vanguard said. “That cobalt unicorn. The one you would’ve scared the pants off if she’d been wearing pants. You know the one?”

“I do,” said Luna. It might’ve just been the light, but Vanguard could’ve sworn she was smirking a little. She turned to Dupinto. “Your thoughts?”

Dupinto shrugged. “Didn’t see any of them. Sure, let’s go with her.”

“Very well.” All but one of the doors dissolved into mist. The remaining one opened up, spilling light everywhere. Vanguard put up a foreleg to protect his eyes, but the light was already dying down.

They were at the bottom of the sea, fish and manta rays and octopi (octopuses?) and jellyfish and seaponies and who knew what else swirling around them in the water. One of those things was the mare, swimming around without direction or a care in the world. She didn’t seem to notice them.

Luna cleared her throat (somehow). The mare idly turned to look at the sound. At first, she just waved serenely, then her eyes went wide once the implication of Luna’s presence hit her. She tried to say something, but only bubbles came out.

The walls came banging in from infinity, one at a time, followed by the ceiling, then the floor. Within seconds, the group was in a brightly-lit interrogation room with no doors or one-way mirrors. It was completely dry, the water gone without ever seeming to have actually left. The mare was chained to a chair in front of a table; she could freely move her legs, but not enough to actually leave the chair. Across from her was another chair, currently empty.

Finally, they were getting somewhere. Vanguard put his front hooves on the table, looked the mare in the eye, and grinned toothily. “Hello,” he said. “You’re going to tell us everything you know about a few nights ago.”

Luna stepped up next to him. When she spoke, her voice was a low rumble more commonly associated with thunder. “And if you do not, Tartarus shall seem like paradise compared to what we shall do to you.”

“Whoa, hey!” said Dupinto, shoving them both aside. “That’s not how you do this! You won’t get anything that way, that stuff doesn’t work! Let the pony who actually knows what he’s talking about do this.”

Vanguard reluctantly stepped aside. Luna did, too, although Vanguard suspected she was scowling a little. The mare glanced between the three of them, still nervous, but calming slightly.

“Hey,” Dupinto said, sitting down in front of the mare, “sorry about that. My friends are a little, ahm, anxious.”

The mare raised an eyebrow. “A little.”

“You should see them come tax season.”

The mare snorted. An amused snort, not a contemptuous one. “The guard, maybe, but the other doesn’t pay taxes.”

“You think paying taxes is bad? She has to deal with the other side. For everyone.”

The mare laughed softly.

“You comfortable?” asked Dupinto. “I can make you a bit more comfortable if you want.”

“I’m good, thanks.”

Luna glanced at Vanguard, but he motioned for her to keep calm. Interrogations were always slower than they seemed like they’d be.

“So. I’m Detective Dupinto-” Dupinto pointed over his shoulder. “-that’s Captain Dauntless Vanguard, and you already know Princess Luna.” Luna snorted when the mare glanced over at her. “And you are?” Dupinto asked.

The mare grinned slightly. “Nah. I don’t think you need to know that.”

“Alright. You’re Nah.”

The mare bristled, but didn’t say anything.

“Hey,” said Dupinto, putting his hooves up in mock resignation, “you don’t like it, you can cooperate. So, Nah, you invaded Canterlot Castle a few nights ago. Why?”

The mare laughed. “You really think it’s that easy? That I’ll sing like a bird just because you asked nicely?”

“Well, that, and because of what’ll happen if you don’t. You want to hear it, Nah?”

“Hit me.”

“If you insist.” Dupinto steepled his hooves. “There’s nothing physical I can do to you here,” he said. “Oh, sure, I can technically do literally anything to you, but it won’t affect you. And because you’ll be resisting interrogation, you’ll be proud of it. I won’t even have the satisfaction of depriving you of a good night’s sleep.”

The mare leaned back and grinned smugly.

“But here doesn’t really exist, does it, Nah? It’s not in here that matters, it’s out there, in the real world. And I can’t touch you out there. But out there, you’re still in jail. And I can make sure you don’t get out.” Dupinto paused. “Ever.”

The mare’s grin faltered.

“Let me be frank: if you tell us nothing, you will be in prison for the rest of your life. Your family, your friends, everyone you’ve ever known? Gone. You’ll never see them again.” Dupinto made a ffwt noise with his mouth and flicked a hoof away. “You committed treason, you know, so you’ll be in maximum security. All the little privileges you didn’t know were privileges -- showers, tasty food, room to trot around in, free bathroom breaks, decent company -- they’ll be gone. For the remainder of your life, you will be stuck in a dank, musty 8x10 cell. You will live there. You will die there. And you will rot there.”

The mare’s grin was gone completely. She blinked a few times. “You…” she mumbled, “you can’t hurt my family. You don’t know who they are.”

Dupinto shrugged. “Of course I don’t. And even if I knew who they were, I wouldn’t touch them. My problem’s with you, not with them. Whoever they are.” He shrugged again. “But does it matter? Maximum security. No visitors. No parole. End of discussion. So, I’ll ask again: what’s your name?”

Luna leaned over Dupinto’s shoulder. “And if you do not tell him, I shall-”

Dupinto planted a hoof in Luna’s face and lightly pushed her away. “Shut up, Your Highness.”

Everyone in the room blinked at Dupinto. Dream or not, you didn’t speak to one of the Princesses like that. Luna opened her mouth.

Dupinto beat her to it. “With respect, Your Grace, this isn’t your thing. This is my thing. Let me do my thing. And besides, this is her decision.” He nodded at the mare. “Let her make it.”

Luna frowned and rustled her wings, but said nothing and stepped away.

“Once again,” said Dupinto. “What’s your name? I got all night for this, you know.”

The mare looked down for a moment, then said, “Silver Tongue.”

“Silver Tongue,” said Dupinto, nodding. “Nice name. So, Silver Tongue, what, exactly, were you doing last night?”

“Well, getting that gas into Celestia’s room,” said Silver Tongue, “but as to what the gas does? I’m not exactly sure myself, to be honest. Probably just kill her, but that obviously didn’t work. I’m told to do things, I do them, no questions. If I ask questions, I’m told that’s need-to-know information.”

“And lemme guess,” said Dupinto. “You’re always told that you don’t need to know.”

“When they decide to be polite about it.”

Dupinto sighed. “Locked out of the loop. It’s always frustrating, isn’t it? But what’s your ultimate goal? What do ‘they’ want to do?”

“Depose Celestia. Obviously. It doesn’t matter how as long as she’s not in power anymore. Well, and Luna, too-” Silver Tongue leaned to one side to talk to Luna. “-sorry, ma’am -- but Celestia’s the bigger one, she’d make a bigger impact.”

Vanguard had heard a lot of “down with the Princesses” talk over the years, ranging from them being tyrants to a desire to move from an eternal diarchy. “Why do you want to get rid of her?”

Silver Tongue scratched her head. “It’s… kind of hard to explain. It’s… Well, power’s too concentrated. If someone wanted to take down Equestria, all they’d need to do is take down the Princesses.”

“‘All they’d need to do is take down the Princesses’? Really?” Dupinto chuckled. “That’s never happened. Besides, there’s an order of succession.”

“Uh, no,” snorted Silver Tongue. “No no no no no. First of all, equating ‘that’s never happened’ to ‘that will never happen’ is a recipe for disaster. Second of all, yes it has. Look through history, and you can find plenty of instances where either Celestia or Luna has been incapacitated. Even at least one time where it happened to both at once. The difference is that there was at least one additional princess to pick up the slack then. But it’s just the two of them now, so we’re back to square one. And third, there really isn’t an order of succession. Not once you look at it.”

Dupinto burst into laughter -- not giggles, but deep belly laughter. “Good joke, but there’s totally an order of succession. You think they’d just forget about something that important?”

“That’s the way it is,” Silver Tongue said flatly. “Maybe there’s one de jure, but not de facto.”

The laughter died, and Dupinto turned to Vanguard and Luna. “She’s kidding, right? Tell me she’s kidding. There’s an order of succession if all princesses are out of action, right?”

Vanguard and Luna exchanged glances. “Technically, yes,” Vanguard muttered guiltily, “but it…”

“It has not been updated in centuries,” said Luna. “It has never been formally required in the history of Equestria, so it is very rare that anypony looks at it seriously. As it has not been altered to accommodate changes in society, it-”

“It’s an obsolete pile of horseapples is what it is,” said Vanguard. “When you can actually get past the Ye Olde Equestrian and understand it, like half of it is impossible nowadays. It still talks about fiefs. Fiefs. When was the last time you actually used the word ‘fief’ in anything resembling a normal conversation?”

“Approximately one thousand, three hundred, and fifty-eight years ago,” Luna stage-whispered.

“And that’s not even getting into the way the Royal Guard gets chopped up.” Vanguard was talking unusually loudly and quickly. “That was back when whatever army Equestria had was basically who you could afford the pay the most and who you were able to bully into service, and ‘payment’ was pretty much a gigantic pile of gold. The whole thing’s just an absolute mess.”

Silver Tongue gestured at Vanguard. “See? Take out two ponies, and you can easily cripple Equestria. We need to update.”

“Fair enough,” said Dupinto. He didn’t try to argue one way or the other on the “depose Celestia” thing; that wasn’t important at the moment. “Now, who’re the ‘they’ you’re working for?”

“Mostly a smallish group of nobles. A duke, a few counts and earls. Can’t remember names right now, but come back later. Oh, and Pennyroyal’s kind of the leader.”

Everyone twitched. “Pennyroyal?” Luna asked. “You mean…”

Silver Tongue rolled her eyes. “Yes, that Pennyroyal. Penny Pincher, Penny Dreadful, whatever you want to call him. He funds the whole thing and calls a lot of the shots. Why do you think he’s so stingy? He’s funneling every bit he can save into this.”

“So what does he gain from this?” asked Dupinto. He was hiding it well, but Vanguard could hear the urgency in his voice. “Does he want to rule, what?”

“He just wants to strengthen Equestria,” said Silver Tongue. She twitched slightly. “After this all goes down, he wants to stay right where he is. He’ll just be in a more secure position because he won’t be rendered worthless by two deaths.”

“So what’s their next step? Or is that need-to-know again?”

“Need-to-know, obviously. I mean, this attempt failed, and they were really banking on it not failing, so I dunno.” Silver Tongue shrugged. “Maybe they’ve got another plan, maybe not. I dunno.”

“Hmm. Still can’t recall any of those names?”

“Nope. Sorry.”

“Hmm. Well, try to think of them. I think we’re done here for tonight, but we’ll be back tomorrow night.”

Silver Tongue blinked a few times, then shrugged. “Fair enough.”

Dupinto turned to Luna. “Your Highness, we can leave now.”

Luna didn’t say anything, but the walls, floor, and ceiling of the room pulled back. Water flooded the room, obscuring Vanguard’s vision. By the time he cleared it, he was on the starry path again with Luna and Dupinto, while Silver Tongue was nowhere to be seen.

“Okay,” said Dupinto, pacing back and forth. “It didn’t feel like she was lying, so I’m going to assume she wasn’t. Partly because we can’t draw any conclusions if she’s lying.” He grinned at Vanguard. “See? Told you we could pin it on Penny Pincher!”

“That was a long shot. This isn’t.”

“Did I… miss something?” asked Luna.

“Well, yesterday,” said Dupinto, then he frowned. “Wait, it’s night. Does that make it the day before yesterday? One of those two…”

“Right before the investigation got shut down,” said Vanguard.

“What he said. I was trying to look up the model of the smoke machine used, and we found that Penny Pincher buys it the most. So we were thinking, maybe he bought this one and was part of it. It was, yeah, a long shot, but I was hopeful, and I was right!” Dupinto grinned again.

“Hmm,” murmured Luna. “This is troubling. I have no knowledge of a conspiracy of nobles such as this. They must be very well-organized.”

“At least it’s not Celestia herself,” said Dupinto.

Luna stiffened subtly. She tried to keep her voice casual, but Vanguard could hear the strain in it. “What makes you say that?”

“Oh, it seems stupid now,” said Dupinto, vaguely waving a hoof, “but yesterday, Vanguard and I were trying to question Silver Tongue, but when we couldn’t get to her, it just felt like Celestia was trying to make things difficult for us, and… yeah.”

Luna was thinking hard. Vanguard could see it. She was too still and too unblinking for it to be anything else. Shock? If she was following the same lines he had yesterday, probably. And considering she was more involved in the court, she might have a more solid answer to the “why” than he had.

“But nobles… that changes things,” continued Dupinto. “I knew they weren’t always the greatest supporters of Celestia, but this is something new. First of all, we’ve got to lo-”

“We should sleep on this,” interrupted Luna. It felt forced, like she was trying to convince herself of something. “Time is short; I shall meet you again like this tomorrow night. We can discuss our next course of action then.”

Vanguard was about to protest, but the void, Luna, and Dupinto dripped away like paint, leaving him back in the factory. The ten ponies that had been charging him before now lay on the ground, moaning.

He looked out the hole in the wall. The autogyro was still out there, but it all seemed kind of childish now. This was just a dream, and there was a group of nobles out there trying to kill Celestia. What good wo-

Oh, what the hay. He needed some stress relief.

He jumped out of the hole, taking a deep breath to ye- No, wait, he couldn’t just yell. He needed to chew the scenery, to shake the earth to its foundations. He took a deeper breath.

“BAAAAARRRRROOOOONNNNN!”

Yeah. That worked.