The next morning, a thumping on the crystal doors of the Rainbow Castle announced the daily arrival of the morning paper. Spike opened up the doors with a yawn, waving to Featherweight as he biked away to continue his rounds. Bending down to retrieve the paper, Spike gave the headlines a quick examination. The very first words made him almost choke on his breakfast gems.

"PARTY PONY ARRESTED: Cheese Sandwich Accused of Attempting to Steal Muletese Falcon!"

Rushing back inside the castle, Spike dashed up into the dining room where Twilight and Flash were enjoying breakfast. "You guys gotta see this!" he panted, slamming the paper down onto the table. Twilight picked it up and examined the headline with slowly widening eyes.

"This is ridiculous!" she declared. "Cheese Sandwich is no thief; there has to be something more to this."

"You're probably right," Flash agreed, giving the article a quick glance as he got up to retrieve some maple syrup for his waffles. "If you want to we could take a closer look—GAH!" he shouted, leaping backwards from the cupboard; Pinkie Pie had just leapt out of the impossibly small space. "Don't do that!" Flash scolded her, clutching his heart.

"Did you see this?!" Pinkie screeched, moving past Flash and slapping the newspaper down onto the table in front of Twilight.

"Yes, Pinkie, and it's terrible," Twilight said patiently. "But—"

"But nothing! There is absolutely nothing related to butts about this!" Pinkie continued, flailing her forelegs in agitation. "Cheese Sandwich didn't steal that chicken and he definitely does not deserve to be put in jail!"

"First of all, it's not a chicken, it's a falcon," Twilight explained. "Next, I know you're upset, but—"

"Again with the butts! What is about butts that you are so obsessed about?!" Pinkie shouted, shaking Twilight by the shoulders. "We have got to get Cheese Sandwich out of jail!"

"And we're going to," Twilight tried to reassure her. "But we're going to have to do it through the proper channels. If they post bail, then we can—"

Inspiration flashed across Pinkie's face. "Bail? Why didn't you say so?! That's a great idea! Thanks, Twilight!" Pinkie hugged her friend and quickly bounded out of the castle, passing Starlight Glimmer on the way.

"Twilight, no offense, but your friends are really weird," Starlight told Twilight, entering the dining room. "Hey! You stole my waffle!" she shouted at Flash, noticing the empty plate in front of him.

"Oh, was that yours? Sorry," Flash muttered. "I thought it was just an extra." Starlight groaned in exasperation and grabbed the pitcher of batter to make herself another one.

"Stop it, you two," Twilight scolded. "I don't need you wasting energy fighting each other. We should be thinking of a way to help Pinkie bail out Cheese if..."

She stopped suddenly. Her eyes met Flash's; the horrified look of dawning comprehension on his face told her that the same thought had occurred to them both. Immediately, they leapt up from the table and hurried after Pinkie. "Pinkie, wait! It doesn't mean what you think it means!"

Starlight stared after them, aghast. "Is everypony around here crazy?"

"Welcome to Ponyville," Spike said dryly, taking another spoonful of gems.

Pinkie watched the city of Canterlot approaching through the window of her train carriage. The grandiose city, standing so tall and proud, usually evoked a sense of awe in her: today, it caused her nothing but anger and frustration, seething within her. Somewhere hidden in those whitewashed walls was a thief and a liar who had imprisoned her friend.

As if she, Pinkie Pie, would stand for anypony picking on the other super duper party pony of Equestria! The thought of Cheese Sandwich languishing in a cell made her ill.

"Canterlot station!" the conductor cried. Almost before his shout had left his lips, Pinkie was hurrying off the train and onto the platform. Trotting up to the stationmaster, she grabbed him by the collar and pulled him around so that they were face to face, much to his surprise and discomfort. "Quick! What's the fastest way to the Canterlot Jail?"

"Have you tried committing a felony?" the stationmaster asked, sarcasm dripping off his tongue.

"Nopony likes sour lemons," Pinkie frowned at him.

"Head for the Old Street Market, then turn east. Second left, third on the right, and keep going. You can't miss it."

"Thanks!" Pinkie smiled, bouncing off quickly. The stationmaster stared after her for a moment, then shook his head and returned to his work.

The Canterlot Jail was indeed hard to miss: a low red brick building sitting off on it's own in the midst of a city block, separated from the other buildings by a wall of chain-link fence topped with barbed wire. The building sent chills down her spine: there was absolutely nothing fun about this place at all.

The stoically-faced gold-clad Guards at the door let her enter after she presented her identification and told them she was here to visit an inmate, Cheese Sandwich. She was led inside the jail and to the visitor rooms, a large open area with several tables and chairs and a small section with toys for visiting children, overwatched by a stern-looking Guard behind a desk. A couple other families were sitting at two other tables, speaking to inmates in orange jumpsuits. Pinkie tried to smile at the elderly mother of one of the inmates, but only received a small wave in reply.

The door at the end of the room swung open and a Guard escorted Cheese Sandwich into the room. He, too, was wearing an orange jumpsuit, and was looking tired and unhappy, but he smiled brightly at Pinkie when he saw her.

"Cheese!" Pinkie cried in delight, bouncing up and hugging him.

"No touching!" the Guard at the desk warned her. The two separated hesitatingly and walked over to an empty table.

"You all right, Cheese?" Pinkie asked.

"I'm fine. I kind of miss Boneless 2, though," Cheese replied, pulling something out of his pocket. Taking it, Pinkie found that it was a "Get Out of Jail Free" card from Monopoly. "I tried to use this to get out, but they wouldn't accept it."

"Ah, don't worry about them," Pinkie said, handing the card back. "I know you were framed, Cheese."

Cheese laughed mirthlessly. "I'm in good company. Everypony here is innocent. Like...hey, Green, what're you in for?" he called to a violet unicorn with heavy frown lines around his thin mouth sitting at the neighboring table.

"Didn't do it," Green replied dryly. "Lawyer bucked me."

Pinkie tapped her chin in thought. "Well, I can't get everypony out of here. I'm going to have to just get you out and come back for the others later."

"How are you going to get me out?" Cheese asked.

Pinkie looked around to make sure that nopony was paying too close attention then leaned in close. "In the dead of night, I'm going to break you out of your cell, sneak you out of the prison and find the pony who framed you."

"Really?" Cheese's eyes widened.

"Yupperoni!" Pinkie nodded, reaching out and touching his shoulder. "Like I'd abandon my friend when he was down in the dumps!"

The touch of her hoof on his body sent tingles down Cheese's body, from the top of mane to the tip of his tail. His heart beat a little faster and his breath caught in his chest. This was the perfect moment to tell her...

"I said no touching!" the Guard repeated sternly.

"Okay! Yeesh, touchy guy..." Pinkie grumbled. The moment passed, and Cheese felt himself deflate a little bit.

"So...how're you going to get me out of the cell?" he asked somewhat awkwardly.

Pinkie stared at him for a moment blankly. "Uh...you got a file?"

"Nope. You got a cake to hide it in?"

"Darn!" Pinkie cursed. "I knew I forgot something!" She thought for a few moments more, then shrugged and said, "You know what? We'll just wing it."

"Hey, I'm great at that," Cheese said. "Thinking up plans on the fly is just my thing!"

Pinkie snorted with laughter at the bad pun. Cheese joined in the laughter, both of them doubling over the table, not caring as everypony else in the room stared at them in confusion. Slowly, their laughter died away and they settled back into their seats, wiping tears of mirth from their eyes.

"This reminds me of that time I had to organize a party for a group of buffalo," Cheese began to recite. "The thing about buffalo is that the really like to stomp, so I had to think up a party around stomping..."

The two party ponies began to swap stories like trading cards, giggling delightfully in between punch lines. Their voices attracted the attention of the other visitors and the Guards, and before long, the entire room was filled with laughter. Even the thin-mouthed Green was smiling at exchange.

Finally, one of the Guards, unable to keep a small grin off his face, tapped Cheese on the shoulder. "Sorry, son, but your time's up."

"Aww, but—" Pinkie protested.

"It's okay," Cheese said, rising up. "I'll see you later, Pinkie." With a final smile and wave to everypony, he obediently followed the Guard out of the visiting room while another Guard escorted Pinkie out of the prison. It was with a lighter spring in his step that he walked down the tile-floored hallways of the cell blocks and entered his cell. He lay down on the cot, waiting until the Guard had closed and locked his cell door and trotted away before pulling a small silver harmonica out of his pillow case and playing a quiet, cheery tune. He felt good—a lot better than he should have. He had just made ponies laugh in a prison—that was a first, even for him. And Pinkie...he still thrilled to remember her touch on his shoulder, and the cotton candy scent of her curly mane...

Pinkie.

What if the escape plan went wrong? What if she wound up in jail too? And even if they got out, what if she couldn't prove he was innocent? What if they were condemned to a life on the run, never to bring joy to another face again?

The harmonica fell from his grasp and he fell back on the bed, staring morosely at the ceiling as the smile faded from his countenance.

Meanwhile, outside, Pinkie slowly exited the prison, the smile vanishing from her face as well. She turned back towards the prison, thinking of Cheese Sandwich amidst all those unhappy ponies, and sighed unhappily. "Why can't you write a happy story for once?" she asked, turning and facing...wait, what?

"Why so surprised, Josiah?" Pinkie gave a small smile. "You had to have known this was going to happen sooner or later."

Pinkie, you're not supposed to be talking to me. You know the rules.

"I was just saying, how come all your stories have to have so much unhappiness in them? You could try writing a really funny, happy story for once; I bet your readers would love that!"

Because that's not what I choose to write. Hey, c'mon, Pinkie, don't look so glum. You know how this story ends, right?

"Oh, yeah! Cheese and I—"

PINKIE, NO! YOU'RE GOING TO SPOIL THE STORY!

"Oops!" Pinkie covered her mouth. "Sorry!"

It's okay.

Look, don't worry about it. I won't let you or Cheese get hurt, you know that.

"You Pinkie Promise?"

Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my—ow!

Pinkie snorted with laughter. "Silly, you don't have to stick it in that deeply."

All right, can we get back to the story, please?

"Okay!" Pinkie bounced off. "I need to get my stuff ready anyway. We gotta jail break to plan!"

That night, the Canterlot Jail rested beneath the star-laden sky, the grounds illuminated by powerful spotlights. A lone Guard patrolled the perimeter of the rear grounds, sweeping for any signs of a breach in the gate. Satisfied that nopony was trying to dig their way out, he continued on.

As he passed by, a figure clad in a black jumpsuit emerged from behind a trash can in the back alleyway and ran at the gate, holding a long stick in its hooves. Planting the pogo stick in the ground, it bounced once, twice, then bounded over the gate, landing silently within the jail grounds. Darting across the open grounds, it flattened itself up against the rear walls.

So far, so good, Pinkie Pie thought, noticing an open window above her head. Her Pinkie sense told her that the room on the other side was clear. She crouched for a moment, then leapt up, pulling herself up to the window. The dark room on the other side looked like some kind of office, with desks and chairs everywhere and a blackboard up on the wall. There was nopony in sight. Grinning, Pinkie pushed herself through the gap, but suddenly became stuck halfway through: the gap wasn't big enough to accommodate her girth.

"Girth?" Pinkie protested. "What do you mean, girth?! Are you calling me fat?!"

Well, you could stand to lose a few pounds, Pinkie.

"Stupid rich creamy seven-layer cakes," Pinkie grumbled, wriggling for all she was worth. After a minute of furious grunting, straining and struggling, she popped through, tumbling to the floor with a loud crashing. Fortunately, nopony was around to hear it. With a huff, Pinkie got back up and pointed threateningly at the audience. "That never happened," she growled.

Sneaking over to the door, she opened it carefully and peeked out. The hallway outside was dark and empty. Pinkie continued on, relying on her Pinkie sense to hide from the patrolling Guards.

Finally, she reached the cell block. The gentle snores of a dozen convict tenants filled the area, which was illuminated by soft lamplight and the flash of a patrolling Guard. Hiding beneath a table in the common area, Pinkie observed the Guards movements. She noticed that he wasn't wearing a helmet. As he passed by, the Guard wiped his sweaty forehead. "Why can't they fix that stupid heater?" he grumbled.

Pinkie agreed that the cell block was uncomfortably warm, but she needed to get rid of the Guard before she could break Cheese out. Inspiration struck her: reaching into another pocket in her jumpsuit, she pulled out a long stick with a fake hairy spider on a string on the end. Creeping up behind the Guard, who had paused to drink some water from his canteen, she carefully dangled the spider in front of his face. His eyes widened when he saw the hairy mass inches from his nose.

"Ooh! Ryuthela secundaria. You don't see a lot of those around here."

Frowning, Pinkie drew the stick back and whacked the Guard over the head with it. He slumped to the floor, unconscious. As she put the stick back in her pocket, Pinkie spotted a ring of keys on the Guard's belt. Deciding opening the cell door would be easier with those than the diet coke and Mentos that she'd brought, she snatched the keys up and began to trot along the cells, peering inside at the occupants. Not Cheese...not Cheese..."Cheese?"

"Pinkie!" Cheese whisper-shouted in delight, hurrying to the cell door. "You really came for me."

"Of course I did," Pinkie smiled as she unlocked the cell door and opened it. "Now, come on. We're going to sneak out of here, and I have the perfect way to do it." Out of another pocket came another device, which Pinkie quickly unfolded to its full size. Cheese's eyes widened when he saw it.

"The ultimate in stealth devices," Pinkie grinned. "A cardboard box!" Lifting the box up, she placed it over herself and Cheese. Carefully, the two began to sneak down the hallway and towards the back door.

"Are you sure about this, Pinkie?" Cheese asked.

Pinkie turned and gave him a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, I—" Suddenly, there came the sound of approaching hoofsteps.

"Down!" Pinkie hissed, dropping the box to the ground. The two ponies sat still, breath held. The hoofsteps approached, then continued on past without slowing.

"See?" Pinkie said, continuing on their way. "Best plan ever—oof!" she cried out as the box crashed into something. A moment later, the box was lifted up off them, and Pinkie and Cheese looked up to see three Guards glaring down at them.

"Really?" one of the Guards shook his head.

"Back in your cell, Sandwich," another Guard growled. "And you're going with him, young lady."

Author's Notes:

Pinkie, when this is over, you're reimbursing me for this plaster.

"What plaster?"

The plaster I'm using to repair the holes you made in the fourth wall.

Anyway, we've got references galore in this chapter! But how are our two party ponies going to get out of this one? You'll just have to wait and see!