“What about the Equestrian Villain Incarceration League?” Apple Bloom asked, as she looked over Sweetie Belle’s progress on the length of fabric she was working on.

Sweetie Belle mumbled something Apple Bloom couldn’t understand—it must’ve been hard trying to talk with three sewing pins tightly pressed between your teeth.

At the other end of the room, Scootaloo continued to struggle into her costume. The costume in question was a mixture of red-and-yellow with streaks of black lightning bolts across it. Once she got the tight fabric around her torso and shoulders, she unfurled her wings and gave them a quick flap.

Scootaloo grimaced. “These wing holes might need to be a bit bigger, Sweetie Belle. There’s hardly any room for them.” She did a quick trot around the room, giving the costume a test run. “But the rest fits fine, I think. Are we going to have masks or anything?”

Sweetie Belle mumbled out another garbled response.

“Protecting Organization Of Ponyville?” Apple Bloom suggested, although no one seemed to be listening at the time.

When Sweetie Belle finished the last stitch on the fabric, she spat out the pins and turned to Scootaloo. “I was thinking we could wear those masks like they wear at all those fancy parties. It would help keep our identities a secret while not messing up our manes.”

Scootaloo nodded in approval. “That could work. And we could each decorate our own. Mine could even have more lightning bolts coming out the sides! Got any rhinestones handy?”

Sweetie Belle ushered Apple Bloom over to a stool in the center of the room to stand on. The moment she could, Sweetie Belle began pulling the fabric she had just been working on over her friend’s head and up her back legs. She informed Apple Bloom, “I left your hooves free because I kinda thought you’d be the bruiser of the group. It’s up to you if you want a cape, although that might just get in the way if you’re doing crazy flips or jumps.”

Apple Bloom shot her a weary glance. “What makes you think I can do flips? And why do I need to be the bruiser on the team?”

Scootaloo took a step towards them. “Because you’re the only Earth pony on the team and you buck apples for a living. You gotta admit, it makes sense. And if any one of us are going to go hoof to hoof with Bad Dude or his team, it’ll probably be you.” When Apple Bloom didn’t reply right away, Scootaloo added awkwardly, “I mean, while Sweetie Belle gives you magic support and I do whatever I end up doing.”

Apple Bloom grumbled as Sweetie Belle wrestled around with her costume, trying her best to make it fit. Apple Bloom asked casually, “How ‘bout the Brigade of Adjudicating Defenders Giving Unruly Yahoos the Smackdown?”

Sweetie Belle grimaced at the thought. “How are we supposed to memorize all that, Apple Bloom? I think by the time we finish saying who we are, the bad guys will already be finished with what they were trying to do in the first place.”

“True,” Apple Bloom admitted. “Say, now that I think of it, how’s Rarity taking us starting this villain defense team? I mentioned it to Applejack once and she told me it was a terrible idea and to leave it to her. Since then, I’ve sort of ‘forgotten’ to mention it.”

Sweetie Belle stitched up a section of cloth and looked downcast. “I… might’ve done the same. Rarity keeps saying her and her friends can handle it and that she doesn’t want us getting hurt. But what’s so wrong about wanting to help? I mean, if a colt like Bad Dude can be a real super villain, then why can’t three fillies like us be real super heroes?”

“Because we don’t have magic rainbows shooting out of our eyes,” Scootaloo stated bluntly. “Not that I’m saying all heroes need super powers; I’m only saying Twilight and her friends sort-of have a leg up on us in the department of magical rainbow shooting powers.”

Sweetie Belle finished her last adjustment to Apple Bloom’s costume and took a step back. “What do you think, Apple Bloom?”

Atop the stool, Apple Bloom looked down and titled her head from side to side to see. As Scootaloo’s costume was made of a more shimmery fabric, hers was made from basic purple and blue cloth with a dark violet belt around the middle. The simple design and fabric made for the maximum amount of maneuverability.

“It’s fine,” Apple Bloom said. “It’s nice. I was never really interested in a costume, if I’m being honest. I only want to help my sister out.”

Sweetie Belle turned around to Scootaloo. “When you said Apple Bloom’s the bruiser of the team, you didn’t mean she’s actually going to hit Bad Dude, did you?”

Scootaloo rolled her eyes. “Well, yeah, how else are we supposed to defeat all the villains in Equestria?”

“Using words?” Sweetie Belle suggested meekly. “Doesn’t Twilight mostly use words to solve her problems?”

“I don’t know, Sweetie Belle,” Apple Bloom said smugly, “I don’t remember Tirek getting a whole lot of ‘words’ from Princess Twilight Sparkle. I think it was actually a lot more punches to the face, actually.”

Sweetie Belle angrily stomped a hoof against the floor. “That’s not a good example, Apple Bloom! Tirek is nothing like Bad Dude! Bad Dude’s just… I think if we could talk to him, we’d be able to convince him that what he’s doing is wrong. He can’t honestly want to rule the world, right? He’s our age!”

Apple Bloom hopped off her stool and came to her. “This wouldn’t have anything to do with Sweet Glaze, would it? I know you two have been playing together recently and I know he never shuts up about Bad Dude…”

Apple Bloom let her statement hang in the air as Sweetie Belle blushed.

Scootaloo jolted in front of them. “Say… doesn’t Sweet Glaze sort of look like Bad Dude? Like a lot like Bad Dude?”

Sweetie Belle shook her head. “No, I already asked him about that. He said he doesn’t like capes and actually likes bows.”

Apple Bloom gasped in surprise. “Bows? Did you tell him that’s my thing?”

“I got it!” Scootaloo exclaimed, running to the blackboard attached to the wall to write it down. “The Group of Robust Outstandingly Spunky Superheroes!”

Sweetie Belle raised a brow. “Why does every team name need to be so long? The Elements of Harmony is only four words for Celestia’s sake!”

“So no League Of Stylish Extra Radical Superheroes?” Scootaloo asked, piece of chalk in hoof.

“Universally Good League of International Excellent Righteousness?” Apple Bloom suggested timidly. “Victorious Institution of Lessening Evils?”

In a pout, Sweetie Belle collapsed to the floor and held her head in a hoof. “We’ve spent days on a name and now they’re just getting longer than ever! We could’ve been helping ponies by now!”

“But how can we help ponies if we don’t have an awesome name?” Scootaloo asked.

Sweetie Belle sighed. “Fine. I vote for Equestrian Villain Incarceration League.” She held up a foreleg to show her seriousness.

The other two did the same and cheered happily afterwards. Sweetie Belle considerably less.

By the black board, Scootaloo crossed off all the other possible names and circled the one they’d settled on. Then she dropped the chalk and hovered in the air for a few moments with her wings. “Glad that’s settled. Now if only we knew where C.U.T.E. was going to strike next. Any ideas, Sweetie Belle?”

“Not really,” Sweetie Belle admitted dourly. “Rarity and Applejack stayed in Ponyville to keep an eye on us; Twilight and Fluttershy went to Canterlot to help Celestia get things under control again; Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie went to the Crystal Empire to stand guard. C.U.T.E. could hit anywhere and we wouldn’t even be able to protect our friends because they’d be so far away.” She hung her head down.

Apple Bloom wrapped a reassuring hoof around her shoulders “There’s always a chance they don’t hit any of those places, right? They could… I dunno, be at the beach or something!”

Scootaloo shook her head. “They were already at the beach yesterday—scared off a bunch of ponies while they were there. That means C.U.T.E.’s well-rested and possibly suntanned.”

Apple Bloom shot daggers at her over Sweetie Belle’s head.

“What?” Scootaloo blurted. “Just telling you what I heard!” Then she went to go stand by the window looking out of Carousel Boutique—her ears flattening against the top of her head as she did. “Girls? You might want to take a look at this.”

Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom trotted over to stand beside her, their ears following suit as their pupils shrunk.

Scootaloo spoke quietly, “Looks like it might rain. That means we can’t play outside this afternoon. That kinda sucks.”

With a sigh, Sweetie Belle turned towards the door. “Guess we’d better get Rarity’s patio stuff inside. What a terrible day this is turning out to be.”

“Oh, crumbs,” Princess Cadence muttered, when she reached across her desk and accidently knocked her ink jar over. Luckily, she caught it with her aura before it could spill and shoved it out of reach. She ran a hoof through her slightly rumpled mane. That morning, she was supposed to see her usual mane dresser, but passed on the visit. There was too much going on at the moment, she found. Far too much.

Shining Armor entered her study and quietly closed the door behind him. “You still doing that whole ‘crumbs’ thing?”

Cadence sighed. “If you spend enough time around impressionable foals, you learn not to use harsh language when you get mad. ‘Crumbs’ is a nice substitute. It can be both a light swear word and a harsh swear word. It all depends on how you say it.”

Crossing the room, Shining stopped by her desk to look over her numerous mounds of papers and scrolls. “And what level of ‘crumbs’ is this, then?”

“Light crumbs,” Cadence answered with a huff. “We’re spending way too much on fresh imported lemons. It won’t bankrupt us anytime soon, but it’s not great either.”

Awkwardly, Shining settled a bit of his plot on the section of desk that was free. “Maybe we could have less lemonade stands, then? You have to admit—we have more than enough.”

Cadence looked up at him with a frown. “But ponies love the lemonade stands, Shining! They tell me about it everyday!” She rested her head on a hoof. “Maybe we should be looking into alternative juice drink possibilities. I can’t recall, but does anyone like grapefruit juice anymore?”

Shining left a large pause before speaking; resting his hoof atop of hers on the desk. “You sure this is what we should be most concerned about right now, Cadence? Lemon import prices? Any moment now, C.U.T.E. could be—”

“I know what they could do, Shining,” Cadence cut in sharply. “But we’ve already done everything we can. Our Empire is secure, or as secure as it can get. All we can do now is hope and wait and continue on like everything’s fine—because for all we know, everything is fine. There’s always a chance they won’t do anything at all.”

“There’s always a chance they’ll hit Canterlot first,” Shining added, a bit dreamily.

Cadence furrowed her brows at that. “You don’t seem all that troubled by the notion, Shining. Your sister is there, remember?”

“I know,” Shining replied lightly, “but you ever notice how it’s usually Twilight that stops the villains? Yeah, we all help and everything, but for the most part it’s up to Twilight. She’s just really good at that whole villain stopping thing, you know?”

Slowly, Cadence narrowed her eyes at him. “So you’re hoping Canterlot is attacked first so your sister can take care of them all before anyone else has to?”

Shining Armor’s lips thinned as he looked away from her. “I didn’t say that. You did.”

“You just don’t want to get beat up again. First Sombra, then Discord, then Tirek—”

Shining shifted his plot on her desk to knock over Cadence’s ink jar. “Oh, crumbs! Clumsy me. Guess we’ll need to clean this up before continuing this conversation!”

The doors to Cadence’s study rushed open as Rainbow Dash flew inside, followed by Pinkie Pie bouncing close by her side. By the beaten expression on Rainbow Dash’s face, it was clear Pinkie Pie hadn’t stopped talking to her ever since they’d arrived by train only a few days ago.

“I got it!” Pinkie Pie shouted. “The absolute perfect team name! The Critical Undesirable Neutralization Te—”

Gritting her teeth, Rainbow Dash whirled on her. “Why would we even need a team name, Pinkie!? We already have one! The Elements of Harmony! Works fine for me!”

“Aw!” Pinkie Pie stopped bouncing for a moment. “Why does Bad Dude get to have all the fun? Team names, breaking ponies out of prison, beach vacations…”

Pinkie Pie rambled on as Rainbow Dash strolled over to Cadence and Shining. She rolled her eyes and sighed. “Checked in with the guards. Things seem fine. We’ve been screening any new ponies entering the Empire and are pretty sure they haven’t let in any changeling or draconequus in disguise. Your unicorns seem pretty certain about it.”

Shining gave her a nod. “Thanks, Rainbow Dash. Glad you two could make it here and help out. Any word on how Canterlot is doing?”

Rainbow Dash gave him an awkward stare. “Fine, I guess. Haven’t gotten a letter from Twilight since yesterday and all that one said was that Luna was acting a bit moody.”

Shining leaned a few inches towards her. “So no news about sudden attacks happening there or anything?”

Growing tired of his questions, Cadence gently nudged the bit of Shining’s rump on her desk until he fell to the floor in a heap. When Shining swore aloud, Cadence corrected him by saying, “Crumbs, dear.”

To which Shining dryly replied, “Go crumb yourself, sweetie.”

A loud spring noise pulled at them all. Pinkie Pie had begun bouncing up and down again around the study’s wide window, gasping at what she saw.

“I told you Bad Dude gets to have all the fun!” Pinkie Pie yelled, her bulging eyes nearly rubbing against the glass. “Who gets to ride around in a flying ship!? Or is that more like a sail boat? Or am I thinking of a frigate?”

All humor in the room disappeared in an instant as Cadence, Shining, and Rainbow Dash hurried to the window. As Rainbow Dash’s and Shining’s jaws dropped, Cadence instead pursed her lips and quietly answered Pinkie’s question. “Those are frigates, Pinkie. A lot of them, in fact.”

Above the Crystal Empire, in the cloudless blue sky, was a sudden armada of floating wooden ships. Several meters across and with immensely tall white sails, each flying vessel was powered by a giant metal propeller at its back. At their sides, rows upon rows of black cannons had been set up with heavy cannonballs ready to fire… although Cadence didn’t think for a single second that they actually planned on attacking the Crystal Empire with only mere cannonballs—not with Discord and Tirek being a part of their group.

The six or so ships stopped soundlessly in the air and waited a moment. Next, a large electric crack echoed clear across the Empire and in the center of the sky appeared a rectangular screen as big as all the ships combined.

On the screen was one smiling face: Bad Dude’s.

“Hello!” Bad Dude greeted warmly, giving them all a wave. “I’m Bad Dude! And I’m here with my friends—the Coalition of United Terrible Evils. You might have heard of us! Anyways, we’re here to take over, so if you could all please surrender… I mean, only if that’s okay with you—”

Out of the corner of the screen appeared a black muzzle that whispered something into Bad Dude’s ear. After a moment, Bad Dude nodded and faced the entire Empire again.

“Never mind!” he said a tad embarrassed. “Turns out we’ll be taking over whether you want us to or not. But I’m sure we’ll be really good rulers, so don’t worry! We’re even going to have an after party to celebrate!”

On the other side of the screen, a second muzzle that was clearly Discord’s entered to whisper something else into Bad Dude’s ear. Again, Bad Dude nodded before continuing his speech.

“So make sure you hold onto your wristbands when we hoof them out after the battle,” Bad Dude cautioned. “If you don’t have your wristbands with you, then that means you can’t enter the after party. I’m sorry to be so tough, but I’m told we need to make some rules otherwise we might have capacity issues and I just really want everyone to have a good time. I even made cookies and everything! See?”

Then he held a tray of chocolate chip cookies for all of the Empire to see—including Pinkie Pie, who was close to licking the glass in front of her due to how much tongue she had hanging out. Angrily, she pushed open the windows to yell into the air.

“Bad Dude!” she roared, almost as loud as Bad Dude’s amplified voice had sounded. “Mark my words! I will find you and I will snuggle the crap out of you! And eat your cookies, too! Before this day is through I WILL CUDDLE YOU!”

Breathing heavy, Cadence turned to Shining Armor. “We have to move. Now.”

Shining nodded absently. “You’re right. We need to get a pair of those wristbands before they run out of them. Those cookies looked great.”

Cadence stared at him deadpan. “Shining! C.U.T.E. is here to take over!”

Shining shrugged. “But you got to admit, Cadence, Bad Dude’s pretty darn adorable. He might even be a good ruler. Think he’d let us read stories to him before bed?”

With a hardened hoof, Cadence smacked Shining hard across the face. “Pull yourself together!”

Shining held a hoof up to his reddened cheek. “What happened? Suddenly, I just wanted to give in to his demands… damn that colt is cute! He just asked for something and I was more than willing to give it to him!”

Cadence shook her head gravely. “Bad Dude isn’t a fighter—he’s a manipulator. I honestly don’t want to hurt that colt, but I do want to silence him as fast as we can. The rest of C.U.T.E. can wait.”

“Easier said than done,” Rainbow Dash mumbled behind her.

Outside, Bad Dude continued to address the city. “Before we get started, I have a very special guest I want you all to meet! Some of you might even remember him!”

That was when Bad Dude exited the screen and King Sombra took his place, his nostrils flaring and with purple vapor pouring from both his brightly glowing eyes. Cadence could hear ponies down in the streets let out a series of hurried screams.

“Greetings, my loyal subjects,” Sombra started coolly, “so nice to see you all again. Have you missed me? I’ve missed you. Better fill up on all the fresh-squeezed lemonade while you can—I hear it’s going to be a scorcher today.”

Shining shut his eyes for a moment. “I’m going to go get suited up and alert the guards. On a scale of ‘crumbs’ to ‘crumbs’, how bad do you think this is going to be, Cadence?”

For the longest while, Cadence’s eyes went from her husband and back to the fleet of floating frigates outside. After taking a deep breath, she told him earnestly:

“I think we’re in deep sh—”

Author's Notes:

So, that ends the "Introductory" arc of this story. Possibly 1/4 of the entire thing, meaning this could be one very long story by the end.

I'm going to be a terrible person now and take a short break from Bad Dude to write a few one-shots I've been meaning to get to. Can't eat nothing but sugar all the time, can I?

Rest assured, I'll be back to blow things up very, very soon. Crumbs everywhere, I promise.