Bad Dude had only been in Ponyville for a couple hours at most and had already run out of things to do. He’d visited the local toy store and candy shop; played on the swings by the school; browsed a few comic books at the book store in the center of town.

That morning, Bad Dude’s parents had told him to go play outside for a while; it was a bright and sunny Saturday, after all. As they had put it, he “needed some exercise.” But he knew the truth was actually something far simpler, though.

Today was Bad Dude’s birthday and it was clear his parents only wanted some time to decorate the house for him. That was all fine and good. Bad Dude loved his parents and spending his birthday with them and them alone would be nice. There’d be cake and donuts and gifts and everything he could possibly want.

As long as it didn’t end up like last year, Bad Dude would be content.

It was just a few days ago that Bad Dude had to basically plead with his parents not to try and invite his classmates over again. Bad Dude would much rather settle for less than be disappointed all over again.

While flipping through comic books at the book store, Bad Dude had to force himself from pouting. One of the new villains in the latest Power Ponies issues looked like a complete rip-off of Nightmare Moon and that only got him thinking about Princess Luna again. It’d been three days since he’d visited her in hospital and it was becoming less and less likely she was going to change her mind about joining his team anytime soon.

That was too bad. What other villain could terrorize the very dreams of others? And if Sombra managed to learn what some of the opposition feared most and had Nightmare Moon plant those images in their dreams—

Bad Dude had to shake his head in order to clear his thoughts; once he started thinking about awesome villainy he found he just couldn’t stop. That and whenever he started thinking about frosting in a can.

“Hello, Frank!” Bad Dude greeted loudly to the unicorn on the curb.

The unicorn in question wore a blue button-up shirt with matching hat.

“I think I’m ready to go home now,” Bad Dude told him.

The unicorn furrowed his brows. “What did you call me?”

Bad Dude’s ears flattened from his tone. “Frank? Isn’t that your name?”

“No! As a matter of fact, it is not!” the unicorn spat. “I’m Not Frank. I thought that was clear. I’ve been teleporting you from Ponyville to Canterlot for over a year and you can’t even remember my name?”

Bad Dude stared up at him blankly. “So your name’s not Frank? Then what it is?”

“It’s Not Frank!” the unicorn yelled in return. “Frank’s my twin brother and everyone just hates that guy—which is why I had my name changed to begin with.”

Bad Dude pursed his lips. “You had your name changed to Not Frank so ponies wouldn’t confuse you with the real Frank?”

The unicorn nodded enthusiastically. “That’s so everyone would know that I’m Not Frank and not Frank. But don’t get those two names confused with my dad’s name—Isn’t Frank. He hates my twin brother Frank just as much as I do.”

“So your father isn’t Frank?”

The unicorn grumbled aloud. “My father Isn’t Frank. What’s so hard to understand about this? I’m Not Frank and my dad Isn’t Frank. In fact, the only one who actually likes my twin brother Frank anymore is my cousin—Let Me Be Frank. And if I’m being Frank, let’s just say she’s not invited to all that many family picnics anymore.”

For the longest moment, Bad Dude really didn’t know how to proceed. So he muttered out, “Can I go home now, please? I got my ‘Unicorn Pass’ and everything.”

With a grunt, the unicorn took Bad Dude’s small card and added another checkmark inside a row of boxes. The ‘Unicorn Pass’ Bad Dude had was good until at least the end of the month.

“Ready?” the unicorn asked him.

Bad Dude nodded and he instantly disappeared in a cloud of white smoke and silver glitter. The next time he opened his eyes, he was back in Canterlot and somehow still standing in front of the same exact unicorn as before—same matching clothes and everything.

Bad Dude asked him timidly, “Not Frank?”

The unicorn exhaled angrily. “I’m Frank, damn it! Has my twin brother been saying bad things about me again? I knew it was a terrible idea sharing the same teleportation route with that jerk!”

“I’m just going to go home now,” Bad Dude whispered more to himself, before trotting up the road and in the direction of home.

A few moments later, Bad Dude surprised himself by practically prancing in his step. It was nice day already—cheerful and sunny—and now he got to spend the rest of it celebrating with those that cared about him most. Knowing that, alongside the knowledge of just what C.U.T.E.’s next scheme was going to be only added to his current elation. Frankly, Bad Dude didn’t think anything could ruin his day by that point.

That was until he looked through his home’s front window to find Green Bean inside.

“What are you doing here?” Bad Dude asked Green Bean thickly, after closing the shop’s front door behind him.

Green Bean whirled around and raised both forelegs into the air. “Sweet Glaze! You’re back! Oh, thank Celestia!”

Bad Dude had to think about what he’d say next for a moment. In just the time it took Green Bean to turn around did Bad Dude realize how different he looked—dark bags under bloodshot eyes; never-ending fidgeting; a smile so large it was almost scary. Maybe Green Bean was ill. It would explain why he hadn’t seen him at school in the last few days.

But what Bad Dude wanted to know most of all was, “Why’d you call me Sweet Glaze? You’ve never called me that.”

Green Bean surprised Bad Dude by wrapping a thick foreleg over his shoulder. “What? Who? Me? Give you a clever nickname that doesn’t fit? I don’t think so, Sweet Glaze! You’ve always been Sweet Glaze! Yup-yup!” He then laughed to himself uneasily. “Say, isn’t it your awesome birthday today?”

Using a hoof, Bad Dude brushed Green Bean off of him. “Maybe it is. Why would you care?” He sighed, before saying to him, “Just… just buy some donuts from my dad or leave, okay? I don’t want you ruining my day.”

“Ruining days?” Green Bean yelped, before standing way, way too close to Bad Dude for comfort. “No! No, no, no, no! Today is gonna be the best… day… ever! It has to be! It just has to!”

Bad Dude took a half-step away from him. “Since when have you ever cared about how my day was? I still don’t get why—”

“I found the hats!” Donut Joe declared as he strolled into the room, one of his legs loaded with an assortment of colorful party hats. “Oh, Sweet Glaze! You’re back. Have a nice time around Ponyville?”

Bad Dude pointed a hoof at Green Bean. “What’s he doing here?”

Donut Joe only chuckled good-naturedly. “Well, first off, this is a donut shop, so anyone has the right to enter here and buy my delicious goods, but secondly—and most importantly—Green Bean is actually here because it’s your birthday, Sweet Glaze.”

Donut Joe hurriedly snapped a party hat onto Green Bean’s clump of mane before placing one on Bad Dude’s head right afterwards.

Bad Dude stomped a hoof on the floor angrily—completely disregarding the cheerful party hat on his head. “But I only wanted you and mom at my birthday! You know what happened last year, Dad!”

With a sigh, Donut Joe knelt down beside his son to jostle his mane. “I know what happened last year, Sweet Glaze, and truthfully mom and I had no plans of repeating it this year… that was until Green Bean came to us and said he wanted to personally throw you a party all by himself.” He chuckled quietly. “Green Bean here was just adamant about throwing you a swell party, son. How’d you put it, Green Bean? It was a matter of…?”

“Life and death,” Green Bean replied morosely.

Slowly, Bad Dude’s eyes went from his dad and back to Green Bean. There was still so much he didn’t understand about all of this. “So… what? Now Green Bean’s gonna be spending the day with the three of us?”

Donut Joe shook his head. “Not exactly, Sweet Glaze. Come on into the living room and I’ll explain.”

Having said that, Donut Joe whirled around and disappeared into the back of the shop. Meanwhile, Green Bean waited until Bad Dude started forward before joining him. It didn’t even seem as if Green Bean blinked anymore. And was it Bad Dude’s imagination or did his mane look a whole lot whiter than before?

Bad Dude took a single step into pitch-black darkness before someone ripped open the curtains covering the windows, showering their living room with golden rays of light.

“Surprise!” screamed close to two dozen foals—Sweetie Belle’s distinct shout amongst the loudest and most piercing.

To say Sweet Glaze had only been surprised would have been an understatement.

Stuffed inside his modest living room was close to every member of his class—the only students absent being the few Bad Dude was glad hadn’t been invited. All around the room were helium balloons on strings and colorful banners that had been tacked onto the walls reading: “Happy Birthday Sweet Glaze!” Just below the window to his right was a table loaded with various cakes, donuts, pizzas, cheese and cracker platters, and a giant bowl of punch with serving glasses. As he glanced at every foal around the room, he noted that they also had on matching party hats just like Bad Dude’s and Green Bean’s.

It was only a second later that the room quieted and all eyes fell on Bad Dude, still in the process of taking it all in. It almost didn’t seem real to him—as if there just had to be a catch somewhere. Perhaps at any moment now, a bucket full of raspberry jam would dump onto his head and Green Bean would start shouting, “Sticky Glaze!”

Yet nothing of the sort happened that day.

When Bad Dude’s eyes started to water, he had to turn away from everyone. There was only one pony who stood behind him—Green Bean—who was staring at him expectantly.

“But… why?” Bad Dude chirped out.

“Because I was wrong, all right?” Green Bean told him quietly, so no one else would overhear. “You’re not a loser, you’re different, but… you’re more or less just like everyone else. Okay? And I’m sorry… about being a jerk. I have trouble knowing when I’ve done something wrong.”

Hastily, Bad Dude wiped at his eyes while nodding a bit. “It’s okay. This is really nice, actually.” He paused for a moment as a queer thought came to him. “Does this mean we’re friends now?”

“Only if you want to be,” Green Bean replied, before he flinched suddenly. He asked Bad Dude in a hushed tone, “Just… please tell me this is the best birthday party you’ve ever been to, okay?”

Bad Dude told him earnestly, “It’s a really nice party, Green Bean.”

“N-n-no!” Green Bean stammered out, shaking his head from side to side. “I n-need you to say, ‘Green Bean, this is quite possibly the greatest birthday party I have ever been to and I no longer hold any ill will towards you’. Can you say that, please? Exactly what I just said?”

Bad Dude stared at him deadpan. “The whole sentence? Really?”

Green Bean told him stoically, “Let’s just say it’s a matter of life and death, Sweet Glaze.”

So Bad Dude repeated back exactly what he wanted him to.

It was less than thirty minutes into the party before a late arrival loudly rapped on the shop’s front door. In the living room, Donut Joe stopped cutting and serving pieces of cake to go answer it; only seconds later calling Bad Dude to come greet them too.

Donut Joe kept a safe distance between Bad Dude and the couple at the entrance to the shop. “You know these ponies, Sweet Glaze? They say you’re friends with their son.”

Honestly, Bad Dude didn’t know either of the adult ponies. One was a mare with a dark blue coat and chestnut brown mane. By her side was a stallion that must’ve been around the same age as her, with a light grey coat and jet black mane and tail with silver stripes. His cutie mark was of a swirling tornado.

“Of course he remembers us,” the stallion spoke sharply, giving his thin white beard a stroke. “He plays with our lazy son all the time! You remember Blackberry, don’t you, Sweet Glaze?”

The stallion flashed Bad Dude a quick smile, his eyes forming red-and-yellow spirals for a brief moment.

Bad Dude nodded the moment he understood. “Oh… of course! Yeah! Blackberry’s totally a colt I play with sometimes!”

Discord the stallion turned to look back at Donut Joe, who must’ve missed his impromptu eye transformation only a moment ago. “See? We’re not just strangers crashing a children’s birthday party for some creepy reason. So go! Look after the kiddies or whatever it is you do around here.”

Donut Joe hesitated for a second, before telling Bad Dude to come join the party after he was done speaking with the pair.

Only when he was certain his dad was safely out of earshot, did Bad Dude open his mouth again. “Discord? Is that really you?”

Discord giggled richly. “Why of course it is. Didn’t think the very Lord of Chaos was capable of a simple transformation spell?”

“And…” Bad Dude turned to the mare standing beside him. “Chrysalis?”

Chrysalis gave a nod. “Indeed. I took the form of a mare I saw on the way coming here—with any luck no one will recognize her before the party is over.”

Bad Dude had to fight back fresh tears. “So you two really came all this way for my birthday party?”

Discord laughed again. “I happen to love parties, Bad Dude. You think I’d miss even a single one?”

As happy as he felt seeing the two of them there, another thought made Bad Dude’s shoulders slump a tad. “I guess Sombra couldn’t make it—everyone sort of knows what he looks like, don’t they?”

Discord grinned thinly. “Think again, Bad Dude. I have a lot of magical resources, remember? And we did need a little colt to help sell these disguises.” Having said that, Discord roughly used a backleg to kick open the front door behind him before yelling out of it, “Blackberry! Get your tiny plot in here already before I come out there and pick you up by the scruff of the neck! It already sounds like a cute antic, so I’m tempted to do it anyways!”

No sound or movement from the doorway.

“Blackberry? Honeybun?” Chrysalis cooed softly. “Let’s not go making a scene now.”

From just outside his shop, Bad Dude could hear tiny hooves slap against the ground in a rather angry manner, before a colt the same size as Bad Dude walked into the shop. Like his “father”, he had a grey coat and a wavy black mane. His horn was a normal stubby grey one.

“Is someone still throwing a tantrum?” Discord asked him snidely.

The colt wouldn’t look anyone in the room in the eyes. “I hate everyone so much right now, it’s not even remotely humorous,” he grumbled out. “Besides you, Bad Dude. Happy birthday or whatever.”

Bad Dude could only gasp in shock. “Sombra? Really? That’s awesome! Now we’re like brothers or something! I totally need to introduce you to the other kids in my class!”

“Oh. Joy,” Sombra replied dourly, before he angled his head towards Discord. “Now why couldn’t you be the foal and I the husband? Huh? I think you’re childish enough to pull it off! Obviously!”

Discord only rolled his eyes. “Sure, being a foal for a day would be fun and all, but you know what’s even more fun? Annoying you. So now I get to attend a party and annoy you at the same time. It also means I get to do stuff like this whenever I want to today.”

Without warning, Discord scooped Sombra up off the floor to start tickling his small round belly. As much as the colt-sized Sombra flailed his tiny hooves in all directions, it did little to stop the tickle attack. Even Sombra’s usual curse words had lost most of their punch during his transformation; delivered by a voice several octaves above their usual pitch. By the time Discord blew Blackberry a raspberry, Sombra was almost in tears. Tears of hate, most likely.

“Oh, leave him alone,” Chrysalis moaned, finally nabbing Sombra out of Discord’s clutches to set him back on the ground. “Sombra may be small at the moment, but I’m sure he’s still big where it counts.”

Discord sighed and slammed a hoof into his forehead. “You were just holding onto that one, weren’t you? For how long? Since we left the fortress?”

“What?” Chrysalis furrowed her brows. “Bad Dude’s the only one that gets to make those types of jokes?”

By that point in time, Bad Dude had become so happy seeing the three of them there he was nearly bouncing on the spot. “Come on, you three! We can joke around later! Let’s go join the party!”

As Bad Dude trotted back into the living room, he could hear Sombra grumble, “Shouldn’t Tirek have come with us? What ever happened to him?”

Discord snorted in laughter. “I’m sure his invitation must’ve got lost in the mail or something.”

“All right. I’m ready to go.”

Tirek stood at the bottom of the stone steps, freshly showered and groomed. He glanced around the empty fortress for a moment before cocking a wispy brow.

“Chrysalis? Sombra?” he spoke meekly, before he let out a sigh. “Discord?”

A hasty check of the base’s kitchen, gym, pool, rooftop, and miniature golf course made it abundantly clear that he’d been left behind. The only ones remaining in the fortress had been Tic, Tac, and Toe—currently lounging around the living room and reading some of Bad Dude’s old comic books.

Tirek entered the room to stand on the carpet. “Do any of you know how to play chess, perchance?”

Tic, Tac, and Toe collectively shook their heads.

“Checkers, then?” Tirek ventured hopefully.

At that, Tic, Tac, and Toe gave each other a quick glance before nodding up at him.

“Splendid.” Tirek turned in the direction of the kitchen area. “You three go get the board and I’ll go make us some fruit smoothies. Discord should know that Lord Tirek doesn’t need to go to silly parties to still have fun.”

Back at Bad Dude’s party, the colt-sized Sombra plopped his butt on the floor with a frown as big as his muzzle could manage—a muzzle currently coated with a thick mound of white cake icing.

Chrysalis stood to his side. “Doesn’t your face ever hurt from frowning so much?”

Sombra only gave her the faintest of nods. “Obviously. But it’s worth it in the end—if ponies think you’re mad all the time, there’s less of a chance they’ll annoy you. Besides him, I guess.”

The one in question happened to be Discord, who stood on the other side of him and playfully ruffled his mane. “You done being a party pooper yet, Blackberry? Honestly, I had no idea a colt your size could contain so much party poop.”

Sombra growled at him loudly—still cute, considering his size. “Don’t try and dictate my pooping schedule, dragon! I can be a party pooper wherever and whenever I want! It’s not easy being a colt—everyone in Bad Dude’s class wants to talk to me and give me slices of cake and have me play pin the head on the hydra with them! You ever notice how oddly friendly all those Ponyville ponies are? I barely had time to give Bad Dude his personalized rock sculpture present.”

Chrysalis grunted. “That was supposed to be a sculpture of Bad Dude? I thought it was a potato.”

“No!” Sombra roared. “He’s the one holding the potato. It’s an inside joke between us. Why would—” He closed his eyes and stopped himself. “It doesn’t matter. I’ve grown tired of this party and wish to leave. We’ve done what we set out to do—Bad Dude is having fun and that is that. Green Bean is no longer our concern after completing what we asked of him… although I still wouldn’t mind erasing his existence from the world.”

Chrysalis used a hoof to rub Sombra’s back. “Such a mean, mean colt we have here. But don’t you think it would be odd? A schoolmate of Sweet Glaze’s that caused him nothing but trouble in the past suddenly disappearing? I’d rather shed as little light on Sweet Glaze as we can. I mean… his costume is literally a cape, remember?”

Sombra absently licked a bit of cake off his hoof. “Should we be worried about those three? I don’t like them being so close to Bad Dude—especially that shrill and bouncy one there.”

Across the living room, Bad Dude was currently playing a game of Can You Guess Who I Am Using Various Hints And Clues? with Sweetie Belle, Apple Bloom, and Scootaloo. In the game, every pony held a card with the image of a different creature or pony on it, and the others had to ask questions to try and determine which creature or pony was on the others’ card. Considering the deck held around eighty percent pony cards, the one to usually lose first was the one with the rare dragon or mythological creature on it.

Discord gave a curt nod while keeping an eye on the four foals. “The Cutie Mark Crusaders. Yes, all three of them are rather close to the Elements of Harmony, aren’t they? Might make things interesting down the line. Then again, what could three small fillies possibly do against four of the most renowned villains in all of existence featuring Tirek?”

“Actually, I think we may have bigger problems to worry about.” Chrysalis lifted her chin to the front of the shop where two ponies had just entered.

Discord sighed and scratched at his face with a hoof. “Oh, bother. Applejack and Rarity. Must be here to pick up their sisters. Well, as long as we don’t do anything stupid—”

“Cute games are officially over!” Sombra squeaked out, his tiny hooves already trying to gain traction on the hardwood floors. “The time of Element slaying has come! I swear I will taste mare blood before the day is through!”

“Blackberry, let’s not go making a—” was all Chrysalis got out before Sombra charged out of the living room and towards the pair of mares.

Discord gave Chrysalis a sideways glance. “Where did we go so wrong with our son? I want to blame myself, but… don’t.”

Chrysalis sighed. “Come on. Let’s go get him before he ruins Bad Dude’s little party.”

Before they even entered the front room, they could already hear Sombra’s trademark grumbling.

“Put me down, vile mare! Your time has come! Let us not delay it any further!” growled Sombra, tightly held in one of Applejack’s forelegs. At the moment, he was being held over one of her shoulders as she lightly patted his back.

Applejack took notice of the two of them. “You this kid’s parents?”

Discord raised a brow. “If I say ‘no,’ does that mean you’ll keep him? No take-backs now.”

“This little troublemaker just tried to bite me,” Applejack continued on regardless. “I think he had too much cake or something—I see he’s coated with enough of the stuff. Anyways, I thought burping him might just do the trick. Upset stomachs can make foals cranky.”

Rarity pursed her lips at her. “If some colt tried something like that on me, he certainly wouldn’t be getting off so easily. I’d be using my hoof to hit an entirely different area on the colt.”

“You are only making things so much worse for yourself!” Sombra said, as he visibly tried to pry himself loose from Applejack’s hoof. “Stop touching me! I’ll… buuuuurp!” Sombra belched, before calming down a bit. “Oddly, I do feel a lot better now.”

Using his horn, Discord grabbed Sombra with his aura and brought him back down to the floor. He kept a close eye on him to make sure he wouldn’t try anything again.

Discord then brought a hoof up to his mouth to yell into the living room behind them. “Children! Come say ‘goodbye’ to little Blackberry here! He needs to go home and take a nap before he does something he’ll end up regretting.” A slimy grin began worming its way onto his lips. “And did anyone mention that if you squeeze Blackberry enough, a whack load of jellybeans magically shoot out of his horn?”

That last statement made every foal in the other room halt whatever they were doing—large eyes popping wide and focusing on the colt known as Blackberry in the other room.

Sombra looked up at Discord with an almost pained expression. “But… why?”

Discord’s grin only widened. “Because it sounded cute, but mostly because I really don’t like you very much.”

“Jellybeans!” screamed two dozen foals as they scampered into the room, a few tripping over their own hooves in their hurry.

With a soft smack! they collided with Sombra and instantly formed a small moving pile of pure fluff and hooves. Sombra was swiftly swallowed whole by the thick of it—his child-like screams growing more and more faint.

Eventually, a multi-colored magic cloud formed above the writhing mass of children and began showering bright jellybeans everywhere. It was only then that the foals finally let go of Sombra, who by that point looked near-deflated and sprawled out on the ground.

“Ready to go, Blackberry?” Chrysalis asked him tentatively.

Sombra only belched again, his tongue lolling out his mouth.

And out of the corner of Discord’s eyes, he could see Bad Dude laughing hard enough to make tears spill down his cheeks—Green Bean next to him laughing as well, only a bit uneasily.

Author's Notes:

All right. One or two more slice-of-lifey chapters... then we'll be getting onto some bigger, more explosive stuff.

If you were curious, I was going with Sombra's comic version colt. So... too cute to handle anymore.