Princess Luna woke up with a jolt and immediately felt cold. In her small hospital bed she shivered, before turning her head to gaze out the window. Hours ago, she’d used what magic she still had left in reserve to place the moon in its correct location, before giving it a little shove to move throughout the night without her control.

Seeing that things had remained in their correct location as she slept, Luna sighed and busied herself by staring around her small hospital room. One cot-sized bed. One side table. One closet. Her sister had a room exactly the same size—the rooms they’d both been stuck in ever since their brief encounter with the super villain known as Bad Dude. Originally, the hospital staff had placed them both in large and lavish rooms during their stay, but Celestia thought it best to keep them in room less obvious to the possible opposition.

It made sense. With both rulers of Equestria injured and bedridden, it left the world far less protected than anyone had wanted. Thankfully, that was all about to change.

“Soon…” Luna breathed, pulling her thin covers up to her chin.

For days now, she’d been feeling well enough to walk; strong enough to move the moon like she used to without even getting winded. The worst of Bad Dude’s mysterious effects around her chest and ribs had mostly subsided and now she was only left with a dull ache in her joints.

Perhaps what pained Luna worst of all was being stuck in bed for so long. Most of all, it made her restless. She liked the night sky with all its twinkling stars. She liked to spent time amongst her sister and her friends. She even liked the many climatic clashes with the forces of evil that her position in Equestria allowed her from time to time.

She found nothing made her feel more alive than the sound of sword smashing against shield, or even the faint smell of fresh sweat inside her armor.

Luna smirked just thinking about it. She knew she was tough—tougher than her sister at least. So tough, that—

“Eeep!” Luna squeaked quietly, when she noticed a mysterious round shape underneath her bed sheets.

No larger than a beach ball, the shape started at the edge of her bed before it started moving onwards. As it hurried towards her, she could feel its soft fur brush against her several times.

In shock, Luna pressed her head against her headrest and thought about the worst things that could possibly be crawling around in her bed sheets. And then it turned out to be the worst possible one of them all.

“Hi, Princess Luna!” Bad Dude declared happily, when he stuck his head out of the bed sheets around her chest. “I’m Bad Dude! Remember me?”

By that point in time, Luna’s eyes had become as wide as dinner plates. “Yes… I am afraid I do remember you. All too well.”

Bad Dude looked surprised. “Oh! That’s great!” He then marched to the side of her bed to lay down beside her, turning his head on her pillow to look up at her. He smiled. “When I came in your room, I saw you shivering, so I thought I’d try and warm you up. Do you want me to see if I can get another blanket for you somewhere?”

In response, Luna gulped dryly and kept a wary few inches between them. She absently noted the new stylized cape on his back. “Have you come to finish the job, then? Destroy Princess Luna with your adorable ways until there is nothing left of her?”

Bad Dude almost looked hurt by that. “What? Why would I do that? I wanted to see if you were getting better. I even brought you some gifts.”

He motioned towards her bedside table, where a helium balloon with the text “GET WELL SOON!” had been placed. Next to it was a series of small dishes covered in plastic wrap and a jug full of ice cubes swimming in liquid.

Luna cocked a cautious brow. “What sort of food did you bring here?”

Bad Dude thought on that. “Oh, you know. Lemon tarts, licorice, lemon poppy seed muffins, and a great big pitcher of ice-cold lemonade to wash it all down with!”

Luna smirked. “I believe I am noticing a theme here.”

Bad Dude appeared puzzled. “They all contain way too much sugar?”

Luna had to shake her head at all this. It was all way too weird. She’d been asleep and still weakened by his original attack; Bad Dude or any one of his group could’ve taken her out with relative ease. That was when another more urgent notion pulled at her.

“There were at least two dozen guards outside this room,” she spoke bluntly, “how could you have brought all this to me without them knowing about it?”

“Oh, that.” Bad Dude giggled lightly. “Discord snapped them all to one of his sealed bouncy castles on the lawn. Don’t worry, though; I already tested it. It’s actually a lot of fun!”

Luna pursed her lips in irritation. “Glad to know my guards will be having fun while their princess remains unprotected.” She shut her eyes for a second. “If Discord is here, then that must mean the rest of your group is here, too. Is this an attack, then, Bad Dude? Have you brought these snacks along as a means for us to admit defeat easier?”

Bad Dude shook his head and slid an inch towards her on the bed. “No, it’s just me here. I’ve wanted to give you a visit for a while, but was having trouble convincing Discord to drop me off. It worked out well, though! Discord and Sombra and all of them said they were really busy tonight. They said they had to give some pony a personal tour of Heck and they said it might take them a while.”

Pressing his head into her pillow, Bad Dude grinned warmly. “That’s really nice of them, isn’t it? Showing someone new around that doesn’t know the area? Although, I really have no idea where Heck even is…”

In the back of her mind, Luna made a mental note to inform the residents of “Heck” to get the heck out of town… if “Heck” was even a place to begin with.

Having had her bed covers pulled away from her, Luna couldn’t help but visibly shiver. Quickly taking notice, Bad Dude sidled the last few inches towards her, wrapping himself around her middle and instantly becoming a makeshift heater.

Luna winced as her heart gave a lurch. “You sure you have not come here to kill me?”

She felt him shake his head against her chest. “Sorry, I’ll try being less cute now.”

Finding herself enjoying the little ball of warmth known as Bad Dude pressed against her, Luna eventually caved and wrapped a foreleg around his shoulders.

This was still so weird to her. He was a villain—an admitted villain that had already hurt ponies and was already planning on doing it again—so why did all she want to do was hold him tight until the morning sun peaked through her window?

“You know,” Luna whispered to him, “if the rest of your group is away… what is stopping me from defeating you myself, right this very moment? I could call for my sister in the next room—or the Elements of Harmony to come help. I am sure our combined strength would be enough to stop the almighty Bad Dude.”

Bad Dude sighed into her coat. “Probably. That’s why Discord said he’d snap me back the moment they got back from Heck. I also brought along my whistle.”

Bad Dude pried his head from her to show off a silver whistle attached to a chain around his neck.

He smiled. “Discord gave me this and said if I ever got into trouble, I should use it.”

Luna narrowed her eyes at him. “And have you used it yet?”

“No. I haven’t needed to.”

“Are you sure a creature such as Discord would even come to your aid?”

Bad Dude nodded hurriedly. “Sure he would! Me and Discord are like super good friends!”

Luna remained silent for a moment as she looked Bad Dude over. Once she was done, she had to shake her head and sigh. “Why are you doing this, Bad Dude? You claim to be a villain, but you do not act like any one I have ever met before. I see no malice in you. It is truly your desire to rule over all of Equestria?”

Some of Bad Dude’s original cheeriness slipped away from him as he didn’t meet her eyes for the first time. “As long as I’m doing it with my friends.”

“These villains are not your friends, Bad Dude. At best, you are a means to an end to them. Do you not have ponies your own age to call friends? Normal friends?”

Laughing uneasily, Bad Dude pushed away from her and climbed off the bed to the floor. Once there, he strolled to her bedside table and used a nearby chair in order to reach its top.

He turned to her. “You want a glass of lemonade? It’s really good! I promise!”

Luna smiled lightly. “Not poisonous, I hope.”

Bad Dude frowned. “It’s not that sour!”

Luna rolled her eyes at that. “I was only jesting, Bad Dude. The Princess of the Night can also make whimsy.”

“Really?” Bad Dude furrowed his brows. “I had no idea.”

Bad Dude poured out a tall glass before he stuck a wedge of lemon on the brim, then he poured a second glass and hoofed the first over to her. A tad apprehensive, Luna still accepted it; taking a sip and nodding her approval. She even took a moment to glance over the table of L-word desserts.

She asked him openly, “You sure you were not meant to be a professional chef of some sort instead of villain, Bad Dude? It is clear you have a talent for it.”

Bad Dude blushed a bit and looked away. “Oh, it’s nothing. I like to bake, is all. And since it makes other ponies happy, it makes me happy in turn!”

Luna nodded daintily and took another sip of her lemonade. “You really are a ‘glass half full’ type of colt, aren’t you?”

Again, Bad Dude looked at her puzzled. “Your glass is only half full? Already? But I just poured you a glass!”

With a grunt, Luna sat up in her bed and kept her lemonade near her head using her horn’s aura. Then she crossed her hooves over her chest and asked him, “So if I am not to be defeated or enslaved tonight, then why is it you are here? You would not have come all this way only to feed a princess treats.”

Awkwardly, Bad Dude scooted the chair on the floor towards her bed before climbing atop of it. Once seated, he retrieved his pack from the floor and opened it to bring out a well-worn sketchbook.

Loudly, Bad Dude cleared his throat. “As member of the Coalition of United Terrible Evils and as our number one talent scout, I have come to officially offer you a place on our team!”

Luna’s eyes bulged out of their sockets as her glass of lemonade crashed to the floor.

“Come again?” she blurted.

Bad Dude smiled with glee. “I want you on our team! And I think you’d be a perfect fit!”

“Bad Dude… I… umm…” Luna had trouble finding the right words as her brain became overloaded with odd thoughts and queer queries. Eventually, she slowly said, “I do not know why you’d think I’d join your group. I am one of the four princesses that protect this world. I fight for Equestria… not against it.”

Bad Dude only continued to smile, his tail wagging uncontrollably behind him. “But you weren’t always on the side of good. Right?”

Instantly, Luna didn’t like where this was going.

With his small hooves, Bad Dude carefully placed his sketchbook on her bed and folded it open so that it faced her. On the first page was all five members of C.U.T.E.—Bad Dude, Sombra, Chrysalis, Tirek, and Discord—with one large question mark left in the empty part of the picture.

Bad Dude pointed at the pony-sized question mark. “Now just who could go there, I wonder?” Opening the next page, he made a “grand reveal” noise and gasped. “Nightmare Moon! That’s who!”

The second page in his sketchbook contained a crude drawing of Nightmare Moon posed in a regular standing position. Black coat. Blue armor. Piercing stare. Flowing dark mane.

“Don’t tell Sombra I told you this,” Bad Dude continued gamely, “but I always thought your costume was the best one of them all. Did you put it in storage somewhere?”

Luna had to fight with herself from shoving the sketchbook away from her. “Why would I ever want to become Nightmare Moon again? She was terrible, Bad Dude. She did terrible things during her time. She is not the pony I want to be anymore.”

Bad Dude’s ears flattened. “But I didn’t even get to the good part! Look!”

The next drawing Bad Dude presented had the fully formed Nightmare Moon upper-cutting Princess Celestia into the air and headed in the direction of the sun. A speech bubble coming out of Nightmare Moon’s snarling jaws stated: “Take that, dear sister!” Another speech bubble coming out of Celestia’s mouth said: “I have now taken ‘that’ and instantly regret doing so! Noooooooooo….” with the text getting smaller and smaller as it went.

Luna blanched at the scene. “You want me to hit my sister in the face?”

Bad Dude flinched. “I’m not saying you have to, but…”

“Well,” Luna replied dryly, “I am not saying I never would—I am only clarifying your intentions.” She sighed. “Did you really think I could be tempted back to a life of villainy by a simple drawing, Bad Dude?”

“Actually, it’s a lot more than one drawing,” Bad Dude told her gingerly, flipping through the remaining dozen pages or so of intense Nightmare Moon/Celestia fighting. “But I should also mention C.U.T.E.’s outstanding membership privileges. We have a gym and a great dental plan; free food and board; every night, Discord does a one-draconequus performance in our groups’ theatre room. We even have a waffle maker!”

Luna stared at him deadpan. “What in Equestria is a waffle maker?”

“Basically, one of Chrysalis’ changelings that happens to make a lot of waffles for us.”

“Oh,” Luna said glumly. “But that still does not change my position on the matter, I am afraid.”

“Okay… I understand…” Bad Dude replied quietly, leaving his sketchbook on her bed and descending to the floor. “You can always change your mind, you know. I just thought…” He paused for a moment, staring at his hooves below him. “I just thought that… maybe you had some trouble fitting in ever since coming back from the moon… and you and I could, I dunno, not fit in together. Plus, it’s way more fun being a villain than a hero. You get to laugh more and care less. But I still understand… just let me know if you change your mind, okay? I really liked it when we snuggled together tonight and we could totally do that again if you ended up joining.”

As Bad Dude headed towards the door, Luna sat up in her bed and held a hoof out to him. “Bad Dude! Wait! You do not have to continue this! You can stop all of this at any time—you have not done anything that can’t be overlooked yet. Please, think of ending this before it becomes too late for everyone.”

Bad Dude turned to her with a half-sided grin to tell her calmly, “No, it isn’t too late. But I think it will be very, very soon.” Then he paused for a moment. “Did that come off as somewhat ominous? I hope it did, because I’ve been practicing saying ominous things. I was thinking about saying, ‘Playtime’s about to come to an end’, but decided against it because playtime’s awesome and I’d hate to ruin it for everyone. Anyways, can’t wait for our upcoming clashes together, Princess! They’re gonna be so much fun! I just know it!”

With that said, Bad Dude blew her a kiss and left Luna alone in her bed with her many gifts by her side.

As confused as she was at the present moment, one thing seemed abundantly clear to her. There was no chance she’d be sleeping anymore that night.

Author's Notes:

A shorter chapter than usual. The next should be more the norm!

Who's ready for a tour of Heck?