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The Conversion Bureau: To Fail When You Succeed

by MrLongSurname

Chapter 1: Prologue

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Prologue

Steven ran.

This was it, his years of hiding all leading up to this inevitable end.

“You don't have to be afraid!” Princess Celestia, the Sun Tyrant, The Great Dictator, The Solar Demon, just a few of the names she had gained during her crusade of Earth, yelled after him,

“It’ll all be better as a pony! Ask anyone!” Twilight Sparkle, The Purple Menace called, holding a Potion Dart Gun in her magic, she almost had Steven in her range.

Steven was panting for breath as he turned another corner of the road he was running on and was met with a high wall.

Dead end.

“No escape, human,” Celestia said to him, “congratulations, you are officially the last human on Earth!”

“No, that’s not true!” Steven exclaimed, “that’s impossible!”

“It’s a great honour,” Celestia said, Potion in her magical grasp, “think of all the stories you can tell your future foals!”

“Join us!” A Newfoal walked out of the shadows holding a Potion Dart Gun. It’s eyes were glazed over and it's grin was wide. It stared right at Steven, as if looking into his soul with its lifeless eyes.

“Oh Jesus!” Steven jumped in shock, the Newfoal took him by surprise.

“If I get ponified, I’ll end up like him, won't I?” Steven said, gesturing to the Newfoal.

“Not quite,” Celestia admitted, “a harmonious being yes, the filthy human nature completely eradicated, but not brainless. You will be left as a pony, but not just a brainwashed husk. You will be able to think for yourself.”

“Bullocks!” Steven cried out, “all Newfoals are brainwashed slaves to you,”

“They are free ponies,” Twilight objected. More armed Newfoals emerged, all had there weapons pointed at Steven, all with the glassy eyes and crazy smiles, all saying things like,

“Join us!” or: “Humans are filthy, the Potion will set you free!” or even: “Worship Princess  Celestia!”

Steven had heard enough. If he was going down now, he was going down like a badass. It’s what humanity deserved from its last human, a final show of badassery. One final salute to mankind.

Steven, surprising everyone there, charged Celestia. Yelling a war cry for effect he tackled her to the ground but was soon thrown off of her via magic.

“YOU DO NOT ACCEPT MY KINDNESS WILLINGLY, HUMAN? FINE! I’LL SHOW YOU THE HARD WAY! SUN’S FLAMES!” Celestia yelled out a spell in a fit of rage.

A glare of heat fell down from the sun around Steven and the ground around him was reduced to a flaming heap of lava. Steven hugged the wall, backing away from the inferno as Celestia walked closer to him, a crazed look in her eyes. Not affected by the fire.

“Goodbye, human.” She whispered to him, pouring the Potion over his head.

,.,.,

Commander Alex Pritchard. That’s me. Leader of the EURF – European United Resistance Fighters. Quite possibly the last resistance group on this planet.

Who are we resisting?

The ponies. The ponies that came to this world under a flag of peace, then three years later declared war. They, in the years that they were ‘at peace’ with us, built Conversion Bureaus. Giant buildings where you could swallow some Potion and get yourself ponified.

Whoopie!

Yeah, people actually did that, got themselves ponified. There was also the fact that it could cure any disease. That was a major pro about it. You have a terminal illness? No problem, just hop down to your nearest Bureau and get yourself ponified for the small price of becoming a pony. All the money people spent trying to find a cure for cancer and the ones to finally do it were pastel coloured horses. That was a slight kick in the arse.

The ponies had a ruler, almost a dictator in some of our eyes, Princess Celestia. She always had this amused look in her eye whenever she was around humans, as if she viewed us all as some mere joke compared to her. She claimed to be a goddess and you can imagine that humanity called bullshit on that one.

We’re hiding in the French Alps. Les Menuires to be precise. The rocky terrain and bad weather convinced the ponies that not many humans would seek shelter here.

Which is why it makes a perfect base.

There’s about 10,000 of us from all over the place. British, French, German, Russian, Polish, Hungarian, Swiss, a few Americans. Anyone who was able to make it here came here.

The pressure is on me to lead us, well, not all on me. My brother, Commander Jack Pritchard co-leads with me. We’re the ones these people look to for strength, and we have to respond with power, with authority.

We have to survive.

,.,.,

“Bring back humans!” We protested. “Humanity is good! Don't listen to Celestia’s lies!”

We were so naïve, thinking protesting to a crowd of mainly ponies brainwashed into hating humanity by Celestia herself was a good thing.

Sigh, We’re being hunted, us, the BBHS – Bring Back Humans Society. It’s no use trying to convince any ponies to join us. They never listen, they all think humanity was a race bent purely on destruction, thinking that Celestia’s crusade of Earth was a good thing. The common ponies all believe that we are the problem, we are the evil ones, we need to be destroyed.

I always wanted to find a pocket of humans, ones to side with, ones with a fighting chance. The opportunity never came. Celestia swept through Earth like a hurricane, checking everywhere. She believes she has got them all, last news she released was that she was on the trail of the last human ever.

Now she’s set her eyes on us, the ‘traitors’ to ponykind. She wants us locked up, our organisation destroyed. Our members secured in the dungeons, not to be released until she was convinced that we would never ‘betray’ her again

My name is Lyra Heartstrings, I cannot allow Celestia to find us, I have to protect the members of the BBHS. I will do what I must to end this.

I will not fail.

Next Chapter: Hidden Resistance Estimated time remaining: 46 Minutes

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