Applejack trotted into the waiting area of the Community Welfare Guardian Headquarters and looked around. There were Human and Pony shaped benches and cushions set against the right and left walls with several potted plants interspersed throughout the room. Directly opposite the double front doors was an oak reception desk. Seated behind the desk was a brilliant yellow Unicorn mare dressed in a pressed, dull silver uniform, her bright red mane pulled back into a tight bun.

She smiled thinly at Applejack, "Good afternoon ma'am. How may we help you?"

Applejack trotted up to the desk and reared back, placing her forehooves on the top, "Erm, Ah'm lookin' for uh, Michael Joyner? Mah name's Applejack an' Ah was told that he offered tuh let me stay with 'im fer the week. Ah was told Ah could find 'im here. Ah hope he ain't in no trouble."

The Officer shook her head, "Captain Joyner is out on patrol at the moment, but he left directions to his residence for you. He also said to tell you, 'Make yourself at home or go enjoy the festival. You're a guest and you may consider his home yours as long as you stay. Dinner will be at six this evening and he left you a voucher for free lunches every day at The Melting Pot."

Applejack smiled, "Well that's right nice o' 'im. If'n ya see 'im today before Ah do, can ya tell 'im Ah'm gonna go look around for a while?"

The mare nodded, "I can do that right now actually." Applejack watched curiously as the mare levitated a shiny metal helmet up and placed it on her head, "H.Q. to Captain Joyner."

The helmet spoke back just loud enough for Applejack to hear, "Joyner here, go for H.Q."

"Applejack has received the vouchers and says she is going to enjoy the festival until dinner, over." The mare related.

"10-4. Give her my apologies for not being there, but I have to keep an eye on my town. Rachel is at home though, if she wants to wait there later, over." The helmet replied.

"10-4 Captain. Headquarters out." The mare removed the helmet and set it back behind the desk, "The Captain sends his apologies for not being here. He also said that his wife is at the house if you want to wait there later. Was there anything else you needed help with?"

Applejack shook her head, "Nah, Ah'm just gonna take a gander at what's goin' on." Applejack replied, turning away from the desk toward the front double doors, "Thanks for your help though."

* * *

Alex Ludwig was busier than he ever remembered being in his entire life. In preparation for the festival he had stocked up on everything he sold. The entire store room in the back of The Melting Pot was stuffed to the hinges with extra food and drinks. In the year of time that New Humansville spent preparing for the festival, Alex had expanded The Melting Pot to triple its normal size with two additional floors above the first. He had stocked up so much that he had also filled up his basement with extra supplies. Cleaning products, plates, cups, silverware and other things he overstocked were stuffed into the subterranean level of his home.

His staff of employees had quadrupled as well. He had hired on and trained Ponies to work as bar tenders so he could be free to do as he pleased. The Melting Pot brought in a huge amount of revenue, but Alex also paid his staff well and kept every little piece of his establishment in like-new condition. The tables were always spotless, the floors were always mopped to a perfect shine every night, and the bar top was waxed to perfection. Alex Ludwig was proud of his restaurant and it showed.

He was sitting at his private desk in the back office triple checking his inventory. The desk was cherry wood and his chair was lined with leather imported from Gryphonvale. The office was small, only about three Fathoms by four Fathoms, and sparsely decorated, but it served Alex well. His loyal employees were preparing the three dining rooms for guests and he was nearly done with his inventory check when he felt a chill crawl up his spine.

He looked up from the paperwork lying on his desk and peered around the well lit room. He thought he saw a momentary flash of bubblegum pink next to his desk, but when he leaned over, there was nothing there. Looking past the danish sitting on a plate on the far end of the desk, he saw nothing out of the ordinary. Scratching his head in confusion, he shrugged and went back to his ledgers. A moment later he felt warm breath on the back of his neck. Alex spun around startled, but there was nothing there except his wooden filing cabinet and the life-sized statue of a Pony on top of it. Alex shook his head, 'Man, I need to relax! This festival has me ready to smash my statue... wait a second... I don't have a statue!' Alex looked up sharply, but there was no sign that the statue had ever been there. The dust on top of the cabinet hadn't even been disturbed.

Alex flopped back down in his chair questioning his sanity, 'What the hell is wrong with me?' The danish caught his eye and his stomach chose that very moment to gurgle unhappily, 'Heh, I guess I've just been so stressed out I forgot to eat and my mind is playing tricks on me.' He reached across his desk, trying to grab the danish, but he misjudged his aim and accidentally pushed it off the edge of the desk, "Shit!"

In a reflexive action, he launched himself out of his chair and grabbed at the danish, just a pink shark rose out from the far side of his desk and snatched it away from his hand with a gulping sound. Finally certain that he was not alone in his closed and locked office... somehow, Alex rolled off the desk and bellowed loudly, "Alright, come out right the 'hell' now!"

A brilliantly pink Pony popped out from the far side of his desk, "Are we done playing hide and seek already? Did I win?"

Alex felt his left eye twitch, "We were never playing in the first place!" He shouted.

Pinkie grinned hugely, "Then I win by defauuuuult!" she sang.

"How did you get in here!?" Alex yelled.

Pinkie pointed to the desk, "Through the secret passage you have in the drawer silly!" She giggled, "Here watch." As Alex watched, she pulled open the top right drawer of his desk and somehow, SOMEHOW fit her entire body inside and the drawer closed by itself with a clunk. Alex felt dizzy just watching the sheer impossibility of it all when a knock suddenly came from the locked door behind him.

He numbly opened the door, 'No way. No fucking way.' When he opened the door, there she stood, "See? I can get in or out. I didn't want to say anything at first because you looked like you were REALLY concentrating on your supply ledger, so I decided to let you finish. I got bored after a minute or two so I started back-checking your files and charts. Did you know there's a discrepancy in your financial charts from a year ago for a bottle of..."

"STOP!" Alex roared, "Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, STOP! Stop talking! Stop doing impossible things! Stop, stop, stop!" He stumbled and leaned against the wall groaning pitifully, "Who-who... the 'FUCK' are you?"

The pink impossibility bounced over and grasped Alex' right hand, shaking it furiously, "I'm Pinkie Pie! I'm normally the one welcoming Ponies, and Donkeys to Ponyville, but we're not in Ponyville right now... ooh, does that mean that YOU'RE going to welcome me!?"

Alex' head snapped up, "Wait... YOU'RE Pinkie Pie!?" He slowly stood up, "You're the one I offered to let stay with me for a week?"

Pinkie smiled so big it closed her eyes, "Yeppy-deppy! We have AAAAAAALLLLLLLL week to spend together! Isn't that GREAT!?" On the final word she hopped into the air and splayed out all four of her legs somehow causing a spray of confetti to spring into the air.

Alex Ludwig had been through a great many traumatic events in his life and had survived them all with a stoicism that was the stuff of legend. The sudden storm of giant hail that killed people? He took it in stride. Waking up naked in a field in a different world? He shrugged it off. Facing down fifty murderous Unicorns shooting lightning at them in the middle of the night? He had merely grabbed his axe and went to work. Thousands of rabid Diamond Dogs slathering for his flesh? He sang a couple of songs to improve morale and fought with his friends. Confronted with Pinkie Pie for two and a half minutes, however, he nearly cried.

Author's Notes:

Alrighty, get ready for round 3 of...

Ooh! What's this area?

Damnit Pinkie! Get back in the story!

Okie dokie loki. *impossible proink*

... Spot The Typo?