=Luna=

"If there's one thing I don't miss about being a princess, It's the inequine amount of paperwork." I was still sorting through all of the policies from the past 524 years about tidal patterns, astronomical alignments, and all the rest. However, there was still a slight pinprick of a thought still nagging me.

Sir Aoi, as we dubbed him, had a very peculiar dream that I could not shake from my memory. It sometimes interrupted my work whenever I thought about it, could there actually be more than one... well me, out there in unknown regions of worlds beyond our understanding?

After sealing the last document of the Capricorn-Cancer anomaly, I retired to my chambers as Tia raised the sun over the mountains. I sat there thinking about the implications of being able to meet another version of me.

'Help with the paperwork, that's for sure.' I giggled to myself, wondering what vast branches of universes lie just beyond our cosmological grasp.

Agent of Chaos Universe

I wasn't going to lose this time, no matter what that little fluffball says.

"Oh give it up, Woona, you're going against the Stare Master two centuries running," Discord taunted, his bushy eyebrows twitching.

Unsurprisingly, Aoi was cheering for me, although it wasn't helping. "Woona! Woona! Woona! 2000!" I hated that name.

Sweat was dripping off of each of our brows, our eyes had turned red from sheer irritation, and everypony was surrounding us, cake and chocolate milk in hoof for sustenance. This was the battle for the centuries, nay, for the EONS!

"Hang on for a second, my iPone's ringing." No. NO. NO! I will NOT break eye contact!

=Aoi=

"Hello? Shtik, baby, I told you it was an accident! Weird stuff happened and it's not possibly my fault!" One of the few times it actually ISN'T.

"Well if it's not yours, then its Luna's Fault. She shouldn't be drinking while dreaming, and because of that, the universes have a crack in them." Motherfucker needs to calm his motherfuck down, I could hear him from east city. Every other pony was still engrossed in the current staring contest taking place and... oh god is that a thundercloud?

"Wait, shweet innocent Woona?" Veins started to appear on Luna's temples.

"She's the one who dragged your ass all around people's dreams did she not?"

"Well it's not like she could do anything about it, how the hell were we suppose to know that Luna + Cider = Inception x Multiverse?!" The receiver cracker with feedback to spare as a slap unmistakable as the sound of a facepalm replied.

"Ugh. In any case, now the universes are starting to collide due to all the cracks you blew in everywhere." NOT GOOD! "And I am NOT your baby."

"That's not what you said last night." Did I just screw myself over?

"..." Oh god... "You must of been hallucinating." OH GOD! The absence of a raging rebuttal disturbed me.

"I can asure you that I have not been eating any suspicious mushrooms whose name rhymes with 'phylobin', cupcakes on the other hand..." I trailed off.

"Have you forgotten that you just went on an Inception mind trip?" Didn't I just answer that a couple of seconds ago?

"Right. Okay, so... universes, cracks, and collisions. Wait, aren't you the guy that's suppose to fix that stuff? And how the hell do I know that?"

Schick Cuatro growls on the end of his mic. I can sense his urge to kill rising. "I... kinda need your help. You see, one of the cracks 'landed' near Celestia. Now because of an... 'incident' several missions ago, my presence literally causes her to go Nightmare and try to eat me. Happened three times already."

"No... Fucking... Way..." YOU MUST RESIST THE URGE! "So lemme get this straight, Celestia will literally nom your face in if you enter her proximity?" ... giggity...

"Well, she first starts growing black splotches on her skin, then progressively gets stronger. I can remember Nightmare Sol, Fusion, and Super Nova. The main reason I'm still here talking to you is because I had backup hiding in the shadows and-"

"Yeah yeah yeah, details and shiz. Alright, I'll help you on one condition." Which I know any logical person, sane or insane, would not accept.

He sighs, "What?"

"I get 'til the end of the day to use the crack however I please. Also some chocolate mousse would be nice."

"Which day are you referring to? I can use Jupiter's day to night cycle, which would imply a ten hour window."

"Perfect." I only needed ten minutes max, but I had to get a bit more information out of him.

"Ehh... sure." I heard some clicks coming from his end. "Whatever. Get things done first."

"Not so fast. How am I suppose to use a crack if it's fixed?"

"Those are unstable doorways, like a wet piece of paper under stress which then gets a whole torn through. I can set up a 'legal' doorway, which is more like surgery. Wait. What are you even going to do with this? You might even cause more problems."

"Gurl, you know me too well." Now for some shits and giggles. I hit the loudspeaker button on the iPone. "Okay, I'll fix it... or I could just leave it open and see what happens..." Dammit, Luna's getting tired, I need to change the tides. "What would happen anyway?" I hold the iPone near Discord's ear.

"Things start merging. The place the other you is at is already unstable from having multiple *coughauthorscough* writing the same universe. Different versions, like two contracters wanting to build the same thing only slightly different. When two versions of a universe collide... really weird things start happening. Like two houses smashing into each other in slow motion." At this Discord's lower left eyelid twinges. He always had a tell for when someone was mentioning something... chaotic.

"Ooo... that's bad isn't it. Woona that's bad right?"

"DON'T CALL ME WOONA!!!"

"Thank you, Woona." I turn off the loudspeaker and wander off to the side. "So what's the plan? And which universe exactly did you say the crack is connected to?"

"Yours and the Aoi you saw when you two went 'deeper', this dog, the "normal" pony universe, and this thing with shoes. I take care of the shoes." Okay, so one in five chance this will work. "And I know I'm going to regret this, but I'm going to have to give you some extra-universal abilities that I've concocted."

=Shtik=

Like hell I'm going to give some guy ten hours to do whatever the hell he wants with space time. I'll probably have to erase parts of his memories at some point. But... dammit.

"Fuck yeah! What are they?" It's a long shot but...

"Initially, you get Magic Tape, some random crap I have laying around in my armory." The Cricket, maybe. "and some basic energy manipulation...."

"That sounds awesome! *Chomp* BLEEEH! IT TASTES NOTHING LIKE WHAT YOU JUST SAID!" What?

"What did you just eat? I didn't give you anything..."

"Really? Oh shit..." I heard some ripping noises in the background. "Call you back... WAIT! Schick!-"

"Shtik-"

"Whatever... you know that couch that you love so much?"

"What."

"It grew teeth." The line went dead. I sighed and pulled out a rocket launcher, my third finest.

=Aoi=

And he fucking bought it.

=Luna=

A snap of the iPone and Aoi suddenly started to leave.

"Right, well I'm gonna be at Twilight's place if anyone needs me, shit needs messing up, and only three people in this entire universe has the furry balls to fix it." Did he just refer to his genit- NO, absolute concentration.

=Aoi=

I know what you might be thinking. What could little old me be doing in as an aside of a fic about another version of me who's currently coping with issues of letting people get hurt under his watch? Well, to be honest, I have not the single foggiest idea where this is headed. All I know is that the maintenance guy whose suppose to be in charge of this whole multiversal deal just fucked up. So what in the ever-loving, pie-sucking, molestia-raping, bass-dropping fuck am I doing?

Abusing the shit out of it.

Ah, Golden Oaks Library, now there's a book store. Let me ask you something, who has the package to make a library in a tree? Unicorns...

...Unicorns have it down, man....

"No..." I didn't even open my mouth, woman! There she sat, scribbling away note as I walked in.

"Relax, I just need to borrow a quill and paper."

"Why?" Shameful you, all these months and you still don't trust me. We were like pals, compadres, siblings in arms even though I almost tried to catch you with a pokeball...

"Oh it's nothing really, I just need to write a really quick, absolutely insignificant..."

=Twilight Sparkle=

...Buck...

=Aoi=

"... friendship letter."

BSRC Universe

=Luna=

"Sister, I fear for our universe..."

Author's Notes:

... next chapter...

Shit...

Gets...

Real...

Also the Character Shtik belongs to AppleTank: http://www.fimfiction.net/user/AppleTank