After what seemed like an eternity of hesitation, Rarity indulged her waiting friends with a shrug. "Smash, I suppose."

The rest of the girls in the bedroom reeled, with Pinkie Pie falling on her back, shrieking in laughter and kicking her feet into the air. Applejack smirked, looking at her fashionista friend with an appraising look. "Really?"

"Mr. Cake?" Rainbow Dash added incredulously, hugging a pillow to her chest as she laid on her stomach, looking up at her friend.

Rarity tried for a smile, though her sheepishness colored her cheeks. "He seems a decent man, even if he isn't the most...robust," she tried, rubbing her arm and shifting in her white tank top and leggings.

"He's my boss," Pinkie Pie said, laughing shrilly into a comforter laid out on the floor of Twilight's room. Her chest heaved, desperate for air, as Pinkie writhed with glee in her too-small blue pajamas. "Holy crap, Rarity," she wheezed.

"So you mean to tell me," Applejack said, clad in a form-fitting t-shirt and black hot shorts, "that if Mr. Cake came in here right now–"

"I'm not saying I would leap at a married man, Applejack," the dressmaker hissed.

"But you wouldn't exactly turn him down, now would you?"

Twilight chuckled from her place at the foot of her bed. "This is all hypothetical, of course." Her midriff showed from under her yellow and pink dotted sleepwear, which, much like her pink friend's wear, hugged her frame due to a noticeable size difference.

"Exactly!" Rarity exclaimed, pointing at Twilight as if the woman were a lifeline. "Hypothetical, yes. If it weren't a matter of him being married, then, well..."

Applejack, sitting cross legged on the carpet, prodded her on. "Well?"

Rarity hesitated for a moment, before shrugging. "Well, his wife obviously saw something in him–"

Pinkie Pie snorted. "Yeah, sure."

The rest of the girls turned to the resident party girl, intrigued. Fluttershy looked out from her curtain of hair, pulling her knees up to her chest in a self-embrace.

"What do you mean by that?" Twilight asked, leaning forward on her mattress, her face a shade more mischievous than usual.

Pinkie reached for a bowl of nearby potato chips, holding them to her face as she ate and looked up at the faces peering down at her. "Let's just say his parents had amazing foresight when they named him 'Carrot'," she concluded.

The other girls leaned in close, eyes widened at this new piece of gossip. "Holy shit," Dash breathed, huddling up to Pinkie. "I always wondered how you covered rent–"

Applejack smacked her upside the head, prompting an indignant "Hey, what'd I do?" from the sharp-tongued athlete.

"I accidentally walked in on them before, actually," Pinkie Pie said, shooting a flippant glare at Dash, who shrugged, grinning.

"So you wouldn't?" Rarity asked, glad to have the spotlight pointed away from her.

Pinkie Pie shrugged. "I'd rather do his wife," she admitted.

Applejack choked on the bottle of cider she had unfortunately just decided to drink from.

"Really?" Twilight squealed, leaning over the bed in her excitement.

"Why so interested, Twilight?" Rarity asked, batting her eyelashes and smirking.

The Princess of Magic rolled her eyes. "I just so happen to enjoy learning new things about you girls is all." She looked to Rarity and added as an afterthought, "Don't get your hopes up."

"Oh, honestly," Rarity muttered, crossing her arms, unamused.

"Never would've pegged you for someone who plays for the other team," Applejack said, narrowing her eyes slightly.

"Pretty sure all I said was that I'd rather do his wife than him," Pinkie Pie said. She burped, her face dusted red from earlier drinking. "Who wouldn't choose booty over a pencil dick?"

"Point taken," Applejack said dryly, eyebrow raised despite the quirk of a smile on her face.

"Alright, alright," Dash said, waving her hands in the air to gain the attention of her sisters. "Next round, skanks!"

The girls looked to Twilight, who blinked in recognition. "My turn already?" she asked, resting on her stomach.

Applejack nodded, grasping the bottleneck of cider as she lifted it to her lips. "Pick one," she said, speaking around the lip of the glass.

Frowning, Twilight held out her hand, fingers brushing through the bowl offered to her. Sifting through the various slips of paper, she settled on one near the bottom. Plucking it out, she unfolded it before her eyes, scrutinizing the scrawling lines of text—no doubt Dash had written it. She froze.

"What does it say?" Fluttershy asked, seeing as Twilight hadn't willingly come forward with her selection.

"Um," Twilight mumbled, wide-eyed, fingers a-tremble. Her eyes flickered briefly to Applejack's legs, but she said nothing.

"Sometime tonight, egghead," Rainbow drawled, laying on her side and scratching a bare thigh. Twilight had to resist the urge to screech at her indirect betrayal. The rainbow-haired athlete knew as well as anyone how overly protective Applejack was of her family.

This is on you! she screamed to herself, before inhaling deeply and reading out in a neutral voice, "Big McIntosh."

And, simple as that, the atmosphere died. Crickets chirped, the silence was deafening, and Twilight was sure that if music had been playing, a record would have just scratched.

Looking up, Twilight surveyed the faces of her friends.

Rarity excused herself to the restroom, leaped to her feet, and promptly hid directly outside the doorway, ear pressed to the partition in the walls.

Pinkie Pie blinked, before wrapping herself into her blanket and retreating under Twilight's bed. Fluttershy soon joined her.

Only Dash was oblivious to the sudden rise of tensions as she looked excitedly from Applejack to Twilight, awaiting either's reaction.

Applejack's wry smile had turned taut and strained, and humor no longer reached her eyes, which was somehow worse than her not smiling at all. "Go on, now," she said, her voice soft but firm.

Twilight bit her lip. If she said yes, Applejack, despite her best intentions, would be furious with her. If she said no, she'd know Twilight was lying and would get mad anyway.

Sighing, the Princess rubbed her eyebrows and sat up on her bed. "I...guess I'll say sm–"

A gasp sounded from the hallway, followed by the sound of feet shuffling just outside of the door. Rarity stepped out of the doorway, her face slightly colored.

"Jeez, who died?" a male voice asked, and Spike swept casually into the room, unconscious of the rigid ambiance of the atmosphere. He carried a tray of steaming mugs to the center of the room, setting them just before Twilight's bed after offering one to the woman herself.

"Thanks," she murmured, accepting the cup and bringing it to her nose. Hot chocolate.

Eyes lidded, Twilight peered through the steam at Applejack. She felt a mixture of relief and apprehension upon seeing her gaze focused upon her young charge.

Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy came out from under the bed, thanking a bemused Spike for the drinks. As he reached Applejack, Twilight noticed somewhat sourly that Applejack's eyes remained riveted on Spike's face. Except for when the teen was facing the farmer directly, however, her eyes never traveled above his neckline.

"Appreciate it," Dash said, clapping the young man on the arm and grinning. Her hands lingered slightly longer than necessary, brushing over his exposed biceps.

"S'what I do," he said, half-smiling as he tucked the now-empty tray under his arm. "What are you guys playing?"

"It's a secret! A grown-up's game," Pinkie answered, laying back on her stomach, and Twilight thought for the first time that evening that the pink-haired girl really shouldn't have worn something so...form-fitting.

"I'm grown-up," Spike asserted, frowning slightly.

Pinkie simpered, eyes half-lidded, and Twilight immediately decided that she'd never liked Pinkie to simper.

Rarity sat down to the young man's left, an action that wasn't lost on any of the other party-goers. She frowned as her body pointed subtly towards his. "I noticed you only brought six mugs," she said, indicating each of the cups the girls held.

"Well, yeah," he said, skittish as always when in proximity to the dressmaker. "I was just, y'know, coming in to check on you guys and then–"

"You're here now," Fluttershy said softly, still hiding somewhat behind her hair, and Applejack, the damn hypocrite, still hadn't stopped looking him up and down. The girl had to blink sometime.

"Sit down and stay a spell," Rarity reaffirmed, taking a draught from her hot chocolate before offering it to Spike. When he tried to refuse, she affected a subtle pout and said in a near-whisper, "It's only my lips that've touched it."

After that, he had no qualms drinking after her.

"You guys still haven't told me what you're playing," he noted, handing the cup back to Rarity and jolting briefly when her hand conveniently brushed against his.

Twilight cleared her throat, catching the attention of the girls and Spike. Finally breaking her eyes off of the young adult across from her, Applejack looked up at Twilight. A single look was all she needed to know that the purple-haired woman had caught her staring, and the farmer looked away somewhat sheepishly.

"Actually, Spike," Twilight said, speaking slowly, "I don't think you'd be all that interested. We're just talking about boys and all." Her gaze passed briefly over the other girls, silently challenging them to countermand her statement.

"Oh," Spike said, grimacing. "Squick. Sorry I asked." He made to move away, only for Rainbow Dash to halt his movement by leaning over his lap and blocking his view of Twilight.

"Chill, green man," she said, smirking at him as her hands grasped the fringe of cotton on his thighs, "we're just discussing prospects and whatnot. Nothing nefarious."

Spike raised an eyebrow, grinning. "I'm proud of you, Dash. Only eight years of you hanging out with Twilight and you're already learning new words."

Twilight fully expected Dash to reward the young man with a elbow to the stomach for his comment, as per usual. To her alarm, however, the rainbow-haired athlete instead decided to giggle, which was undoubtedly far worse.

As Dash pushed Spike's face away in the approximation of a playful slap, Twilight realized that the shorter woman's kittenish behavior was Rainbow's own method of flirting. On some scientific level, it amazed her that she'd gone so long without seeing it.

Pinkie Pie darted a look at Twilight, saw her preparing to protest, and proceeded to follow Dash's example. "Twilight just wants you to leave because your name hasn't come up yet," she whispered loudly as she marched over on her knees, perching both hands on Spike's other leg and leaning towards his head.

Spike's smile wavered in uncertainty. "Just plain old gossip, right? I don't mind."

"You are just adorable," Pinkie Pie squealed, rubbing the young man on the head. Fluttershy murmured something in the affirmative.

"Thanks, Mom," Spike replied sardonically, gently knocking Pinkie's hand aside. "So are you guys gonna tell me what game you were playing—"

"I'd rather not say," Twilight interjected.

"Oh Twilight, please," Rarity said, placing a hand on Spike's shoulder. "He's of legal age, after all, there's no harm in letting him know."

"Girls," the Princess protested.

"Especially if we're just gonna talk about him after he leaves," Pinkie added.

"We. Are not. Talking about him," Twilight snarled through gritted teeth.

Their friend's uncharacteristically venomous display cowed the girls into quieting down. Pinkie sat back, releasing her grip on Spike's leg.

Spike himself frowned. "It's just a game, Twilight," he said quietly.

"You don't know what we're talking about," she countered.

"Well maybe if you guys would just tell me already!"

Pinkie started to speak, only to go silent at a withering look from Twilight. The pink-haired girl shut her mouth, humbled.

Rainbow Dash bit her lip, eyes darting from Twilight to Spike, before seeming to make her decision.

Pulling Spike's head down, she grasped one cheek, cupping Spike's ear with the other and whispering into it.

Spike's eyes narrowed. "I don't...oh." He looked to Twilight, eyes wide as Dash continued to speak into his ear. "Oh wow—her brother?"

Twilight went stiff, a mad blush making its presence known on her face. Applejack's demeanor hardened once more, albeit now with an air of triumph marking her features.

Rainbow Dash chuckled, dropping her hand momentarily before continuing. Twilight managed to catch something about "Rarity" and "pencil dick", but the rest of the girl's speech was unintelligible.

Spike's jaw dropped, before the boy looked over at Rarity, incredulous. The dressmaker winced, though she said nothing.

Applejack's gaze flickered to her purple-haired friend, before darting back to Spike and his chest.

After several seconds of awkward silence, Spike exhaled. "Oh, wow. Who else?"

Pinkie Pie burped, excusing herself as a disgusted looking Rainbow Dash wiped the spittle off of her nose. "Applejack said she'd do Time Turner if he asked."

"W-well hold on now! He's easy on the eyes, and he's got a nice voice," said Applejack, wincing, speaking up for the first time since Spike's arrival.

"And Fluttershy said she'd let Rarity's dad plow if he was single," Rainbow Dash added, grinning.

"I didn't say it like that!" Fluttershy fretted, doing her best to pretend as if Rarity's indignant glare didn't phase her.

The dressmaker huffed. "As if I needed any reminders. I already know full well that I come from great stock."

Fluttershy sighed, falling back on her comforter, arms clutched to her chest. "You really do."

"Dashie drew Blueblood, but she said she'd rather set herself on fire and jump out a window."

"Said it just like that," Dash said, grinning.

"I can imagine," Spike said, amused. He turned to Pinkie. "Who'd you get?"

She blinked. "I haven't gone yet," she admitted, before smiling coquettishly at the young man. "I'm more interested in who you'd choose," she said, elbowing Spike jokingly.

Twilight's eyes flashed bright white before she could stop herself.

"This may come as a surprise to you, Pinkie," Spike droned, unaware of Twilight's lapse of self-control, "but I'm not actually all that forthcoming about wanting to sleep with other men."

A flare of crackling purple energy engulfed Spike, and with a POP! he vanished from the bedroom.

The girls started, staring wide-eyed at the spot where the young man disappeared from.

Rarity was the first to recover. She looked to Twilight, her expression souring. "We were just having a bit of fun," she said disapprovingly.

"I will deal with you girls later," Twilight growled, getting up from her seat and stomping her way out of the bedroom and down the stairs.

As she left, she heard the room behind her explode into a din of low, excited whispers. Twilight paid them no heed; her eyes locked onto her young suite mate, who found himself sitting cross-legged and confused at the bottom of the stairs.

"What gives?" he griped, rising to his feet as he caught sight of his caretaker. "I was having fun talking to them."

"I don't want you around them right now," Twilight grumbled, arms crossed as she walked past her young charge.

Spike's eyes narrowed. "And why's that?"

Twilight blew her hair out of her face, her gaze troubled. She sat down at a nearby bench, one of many in the dark crystal hallway near her quarters. She patted the seat next to her, and Spike, after a moment of glaring, obliged her silent gesture by sitting next to her.

Steeling herself for the awkward talk about to follow, Twilight exhaled and squared her shoulders. Bending over and clasping her fingers together, the purple-haired woman spoke in a low voice. "Did they seem to...act different to you? Out of the ordinary?"

Spike blinked, looking down and frowning in concentration. "Kind of?" He thumbed the leather cushion between his thighs. "I guess Dash was more hands-on than usual, and Rarity was kind of quiet."

Twilight looked up, intrigued. "Really?" She was so busy being incensed at Pinkie and Dash that she didn't notice much of the other girls' behavior.

"Well, yeah," he admitted. "She barely said anything the whole time I was up there."

"You mean like Applejack," Twilight said quietly, leaning back.

Spike frowned. "I figured she was mad at me or something, she was a lot more intense than usual." He scrunched his nose. "She seemed really focused on me, which didn't really make sense."

Twilight rolled her eyes. "What part of it doesn't make sense?"

The green-haired youth looked at her incredulously. "Well it didn't make sense for her to be mad at me, since you kind of said you'd do her brother–"

"It was a game!" Twilight said, exasperated. She sighed, resisting the urge to pull her own hair out. "How can you be so oblivious?"

At Spike's indignant look of surprise, she elaborated. "Spike, look…" She looked up at him, meeting his gaze softly. "Ever since your party a couple months ago, well…you're an adult now. You know that, right?"

Spike stared at her, unsure of what she was getting at. "What are you getting at?"

"The thing is…um…the girls might be, well rather are…starting to um, notice…you." Twilight mumbled.

"Why wouldn't they?"

Twilight groaned. "No, Spike. I mean, they're starting to notice you." She indicated her frame with both hands, and Spike's eyes lingered for a moment at her bare midriff, before widening in recognition.

"Oh."

"Yeah," she said, rubbing a shoulder. "I–I haven't said anything up until now because I didn't want to address the elephant in the room." She stared at him almost guiltily. "And it wasn't just when they were flirting with you tonight–"

"They were flirting?" Spike asked, bewildered.

"–but for the past couple weeks, they've been dropping hints that they're interested. They want my permission to–um..."

"Permission for what?" Spike asked slowly, looking slightly nervous.

"To 'court' you," Twilight finally said, wincing at her own words.

Spike stared at Twilight long enough for the young woman to look away, ashamed. "All of them?" he asked, skeptical. The young woman looked back at him, chewing her bottom lip.

She nodded. "Applejack's been bugging me about going camping, and how none of her family has the time to go with her. So she asked me to go instead." Twilight folded her hands together. "I told her I couldn't, of course, since being a Princess means I can't just take off like that. So, can you guess who she asked permission to spend the weekend with?"

Spike blinked. "Me?"

"Correct. Then Pinkie asked me to help her watch the Cake's house this week, since they'll be out of town until next Saturday. I figure, it's odd that she'll ask for my help, since she knows I've got a town to run." She blinked slowly, leaning over to Spike. "Do you know who she asked for next?"

"...me?"

"Right! Now, funnily enough, Pinkie Pie wasn't the one who's going to be babysitting the Cake's kids, which I personally thought was a no-brainer. Instead, they decided to let Fluttershy watch over the twins."

"That doesn't sound so bad," Spike said weakly.

"Not bad at all," Twilight agreed, pulling her legs up on the bench, holding her knees to her chest. "But then one day, over tea, Fluttershy lets it drop how nice it would be to have a male presence around the house while the kids are there."

Spike went silent.

Twilight shrugged. "Of course, when I asked her who she'd want around the house, she backtracked and said Big McIntosh. But I could feel her staring at me when she thought I wasn't looking."

The green-haired young man leaned down, shaking his head. "That's...wow," he said, exhaling heavily, "I can't believe I didn't know they saw me like that."

"That's the point," Twilight said, anxious. "Spike, I don't want the girls looking at you this way." She shuddered. "They knew you as a boy, they practically helped raise you. The fact that they're thinking of you in this way...it scares me."

"Why me?"

"Probably because they figure you're safe," Twilight guessed. "You're cute–objectively speaking," she clarified, at his look, "you're easy to be around, and you're obviously a virgin."

"Wow, okay, Twilight–"

"Logical reasons aside," she continued, "you can get why this whole situation is...morally difficult."

Spike frowned, though Twilight could sense a vague sense of dissent emanating from him. "You disagree," Twilight said, quietly.

"I get that it's kind of weird, yeah, but...." he swallowed, "is that really a bad thing?" He looked Twilight in the eye. "Even if something ends up happening, we've known them for years now."

"You're telling me you're fine with the women you grew up with, who're practically your aunts, trying to date you." Twilight peered at him, unbelieving.

"Yeah, I guess that's what I'm saying." He looked offended on their behalves. "Can you honestly tell me you think they'd take advantage of our friendships?"

"And if it was me?" Twilight asked, incensed. "You'd be comfortable if I was up there with them, pulling your name out of a bowl and telling my friends whether or not I would screw you?"

Spike crossed his arms. "Sure."

Twilight stopped mid-tirade. "What."

"If that was how you felt, I'd be fine with it." He shrugged. "I'm not saying it wouldn't be awkward–"

"I can't believe you just said that–"

"Well gee, Twilight," Spike snapped, "I guess you're right. What would I know about not being able to help who I fall in love with?"

Twilight stopped cold, chastened. Her heart slammed against her ribcage at this new uncertainty. "I–", she swallowed, feeling the hot sweat gather on her skull and on her face, "You have a point, I guess."

She got up from her seat, leering at Spike warily. "I don't see you that way, you know."

Her young green-haired charge snorted. "I gathered."

Twilight's heart started to retreat from her esophagus. "But...hypothetically speaking...if I did?" She chewed the inside of her cheek. "How would you react?"

Spike looked into her eyes, really looked at her, as if he was trying to divine her intentions from her face. "You really think this is worth discussing?"

"I think we should be on the same page about it," she asserted.

The teenager sighed, feeling his Princess's eyes on him. "Then," he said slowly, "if you were, I'd suggest pajamas that aren't so tight."

"Not funny," Twilight growled, uncrossing her arms. She leaned down, sighing as she grasped her friend and pulled him into a tight hug. "You know I worry about you."

"Uh, yeah," Spike said, in a somewhat distracted voice.

"What's wrong?" Twilight asked, worried. "I just–" She stopped, before separating their bodies and glaring at him. "Why the fuck are you hard."

Twilight felt sick.

Her stomach churned as she walked back up the stairs. Her bare feet seemed unsteady as she considered the events of the night. On top of the girls dancing around her ward's apparent animal magnetism, Spike himself was fine with it. Hell, he was fine with Twilight joining in, even though they'd practically been family for the entirety of their conscious lives. She hadn't believed him at first, but the devil downstairs proved his indifference.

Nothing seemed certain anymore.

She found herself on the threshold to her room, and it was now that Twilight's anxiety seemed to climax. No doubt her friends would react poorly to her rash exit, but even worse was the knowledge that she herself was the only person in the castle to be offended at the recent turn of events.

Twilight ignored the girls's stares as she re-entered the room and seated herself on the edge of her bed. She looked at none of them.

A hand brushed her ankle, causing Twilight to look down.

"What's wrong?" Fluttershy asked soothingly. "Where's Spike?"

The Princess of Friendship tried for a smile, with limited success. "Went to bed after our little 'talk'. I'm thinking of turning in myself."

"Boo, whore!" Pinkie cried, hurling a pillow at the purple-haired host, who yanked up a surprised Fluttershy and used her as a barrier.

Twilight grinned slightly, hoisting Fluttershy next to her on the bed. "Pillow fights won't change my mind, either."

"So, are we not gonna talk about what just happened?" Rainbow Dash asked, frowning and crossing her arms.

"If by 'what just happened', you mean you girls visually and somewhat physically molesting my surrogate little brother, then no, we're not talking about it." Twilight said, effectively ending the discussion.

"This is bogus," Dash concluded, crossing her arms and falling on her back.

"I bet his dick tastes like pop rocks," Pinkie commented, to Twilight's horror.

"Rock candy is more likely, dear," Rarity said in correction, checking her reflection in a handheld mirror and bouncing her hair in one palm.

The rainbow-haired girl huffed. "Not like we'll get a chance to find out, huh Twilight?" She groaned, rolling on her side.

Pinkie Pie bounced over, plopping down next to her friend. "Single and lonely like always, huh Dash?" She poked the girl in the side. "Wanna practice kissing again?"

Rainbow Dash pondered the question, before nodding. "Only if you call me Daddy." She smacked the taller girl on the rear as Pinkie straddled her.

"Sure thing, Daddy!" Pinkie laughed, settling down. She pursed her lips together, before pressing them to her friend's in a deep kiss. Her soft pink flesh met Dash's brusque tan as they collided roughly, tongues surging into each other's mouths. Rainbow's hands settled on Pinkie's abundant bottom as the two young women pressed their bodies together, free of any barrier except for their thin nightwear.

"Look at them go," Fluttershy said, too used to the sight to be embarrassed.

Twilight rolled her eyes as she looked on, the side of her head resting in her palm. Now that she thought about it, with the way the girls went at each other each time a sleepover was held, their haphazard approach to their dealings with Spike didn't seem quite so farfetched.

Suddenly, a shocked expression cut across Pinkie's face. "Oh my gosh!" she squealed.

The rest of the girls looked at the pair. "What is it?" Applejack asked, uncrossing her legs and leaning over.

"You guys, Rainbow Dash's boobs are missing!" she exclaimed, pointing at the shorter girl's washboard chest.

"Oh, screw you!" Rainbow Dash snarled, pushing the party girl off of her hips.

Applejack outright barked with laughter, while Twilight and Rarity shared a glance, chuckling. Pinkie wore a shit-eating grin as she reasserted her hold on her friend, trembling with delight. "W-wait, I could've sworn they were here a second ago–" Her hands moved up Dash's shirt, cupping her small mounds and pretending to search the girl's chest for the missing mammaries.

"Lay off!"

"Only if you call me Daddy!"

"He said that?"

Twilight nodded, laying down near the headboard of her bed.

Rainbow Dash whistled. "I mean, I'm glad, personally," she said, holding her hand to her chest, "but wow, I guess even you aren't off the table, huh?"

The Princess of Friendship gave Dash a sullen glare for her troubles.

"Personally, I think it's rather sweet of him, leaving the door open for her," Rarity said, gently rubbing Twilight's calf. "After all, the age difference isn't that great, and Twilight's parents as well as Celestia did most of the actual raising of the two." She smiled beatifically. "Two childhood friends, living together," she sighed, clasping a hand to her heart, "loving together–"

Applejack and Rainbow Dash both groaned in exasperation.

"Oh hush, you two," the seamstress chided. "Few things in life are more beautiful than romantic destiny."

"I think you're taking it a little far, Rarity," Twilight said, rolling her eyes.

"You are kind of hamming it up," Fluttershy admitted.

"Please," Rarity said, grinning. She snatched Applejack's bottle of hard cider, tilting the glass back and downing the rest of the drink despite Applejack's protests. "Unlike you uncouth streetwalkers, I can appreciate beauty in all its forms."

"Like your hot dad?" Fluttershy near-whispered.

Rainbow Dash snorted, immediately clutching her side. "Oh no," she grunted, torn between pain and laughter.

"That's not funny," Rarity snapped.

"It's kinda funny," Applejack said, smacking the dressmaker soundly on the rear.

"Keep your hands to yourself!" she barked.

"You're one to talk," the farmer barked back.

"Y'know," Pinkie said, getting their attention, "it's probably good that Spike isn't in here. All these lesbo shenanigans would probably make his dick explode."

Twilight chuckled. "In rock candy-flavored fragments, I'm sure."

As they laughed, Rainbow Dash brushed her hair back, biting her cheek. "Speaking of rupturing penises–" Rarity choked on a laugh, "–what did you do when old boy cracked a fat one on you?" Her eyes were clouded but calculating, as if she was working out something in her mind.

"That's not fair, Rainbow Dash," Pinkie Pie chided. "I know my dick gets hard whenever I hug Twilight."

Twilight's smile lessened, before the young woman leant back, rubbing her elbow. "To be fair, I wasn't wearing a bra when we bear-hugged, but..." She sighed. "I don't know–"

"How big was it?" the rainbow-haired girl whispered.

Twilight looked up, glaring at her, scandalized. "Excuse me?"

"You heard me, Princess," Dash near-purred, climbing into her leader's lap and placing a hand on her shoulder. "You were right up against him, I know you felt it." She felt the air still behind her, felt their friends hold their breathing.

"I didn't–see it, okay?" Twilight snapped, irritated and ready for the conversation to be over. "It was dark, and I only felt it for a second."

Rainbow Dash wasn't deterred. "How big was it?"

Twilight glared at her friend, holding eye contact for several tense seconds. When the athlete didn't waver, Twilight groaned. She held her hand out, allowing for her magic to snatch the now empty cider bottle by the neck. "This thick," she said, hating herself for saying the words. "Happy now?"

"Lip or the base?" Dash murmured, eyes scrutinizing the glass.

Twilight gave a sound of derision. "The bottom of the neck, obviously."

Rainbow and the rest of the girls stared at the bottle, sketching in their mind's eyes how the size would equate to the male figure. The bottle's neck was decidedly thin towards the top, but filled outwards to a fair girth when reaching the body of the glass.

Rainbow Dash gave a satisfied sound of contentment. "I can work with that," she said in a low voice.

"No the hell you can't," Twilight growled, her eyes flashing. She pushed the insensitive sprinter off of her and onto her back. "If you're planning on doing any fucking in this castle, it'll be between the six of us."

"Is that a promise or an order, Twilight?" Dash asked slyly. Her hands reached around the girl's waist, hugging her.

"I'm serious," she said gravely. She looked up now at the four girls surrounding her. "It's fine when it's just the six of us messing around, but we're not bringing Spike into this."

Rainbow Dash scrunched her face in mock-confusion. "'Messing around?' I was being serious."

"Of course you weren't," Twilight asserted.

"I don't know, Twilight," Fluttershy hummed, "Rarity looks pretty exploitable tonight."

"Oh," the dressmaker droned, "now you try to butter me up."

"I'll sleep with as many people as it takes as long as your dad is one of them."

"My heart," Pinkie cried, cringing and bending over in laughter.

The fashionista lunged after Fluttershy, restrained only by Applejack. "If you so much as sniff his aftershave–"

"Are you guys okay in there?" a voice called out from behind the bedroom door, causing Rarity to stop mid-rant. "I heard yelling!"

"Everything's fine!" Applejack called back, getting up and sprinting to the door. She opened the door slightly, only wide enough so that Spike could see her face. "Just playing a real exciting game here, 's all!"

Spike squinted at her, unbelieving. "What kind of game would that be, exactly?"

Applejack blinked, stumped. "That's, um–" she looked back at the girls, who were staring at her, mouthing frantically and making unintelligible hand gestures. The farmer rolled her eyes. "Wager match," she breathed, turning back to Spike, smiling unconvincingly.

"'Wager match,'" he repeated.

"Yeah huh."

"What are you all wagering?" he pressed, still unconvinced.

The blonde-haired woman wracked her brain for an answer, whatever would cause the young man to leave and stop asking questions.

Then she recalled his earlier fight with Twilight, and decided to ruin his evening.

"You."

Spike stared at her, uncomprehending. "I don't get it."

Applejack sighed, running a hand through her long, thick hair. "We got around to talking about gamblin' and what not, and outta nowhere, Twilight," the girl back on the bed wringed the air around her fists at the betrayal, imagining it was Applejack's neck, "–decides that she'll loan you t' one of us if we win a bet."

"That's bull," Spike immediately said, crossing his arms and frowning. "Even if I did believe you, what do any of you have that Twilight would wager me for? And why, for that matter?"

"W-well," Applejack said, and now she was thinking on her feet, "there's some stuff that Twilight's crazy about getting her hands on, y'know." The aforementioned girl was on the verge of getting up from her seat and yanking Applejack away by the ear. "Like a few free dresses, free food at Sugar Cube Corner–" Rarity and Pinkie both winced respectively, "and other such, y'know, sundries." She grinned weakly, conscious of the sweat on her brow.

Spike rolled his eyes. "And what did you wager that she needs so much?"

"My brother," she answered automatically, and though she wanted to curse herself immediately afterward for blurting out the first thing that came to mind, Applejack realized that the answer was completely obvious. Men were a precious commodity in their town, after all, and Twilight herself had indicated her interest in Mac not half an hour ago.

Twilight stopped her silent ranting, staring at Applejack's back, mouth slightly ajar.

Likewise, Spike goggled at her, now visibly worried. "You're lying." Shit, he thought to himself, I forgot, Twilight's fucking lonely.

"Am not," Applejack said with mock petulance. Her voice turned sultry–or as sultry as it could get when she was buzzed–as she prepared to tell the truth for the first time in their conversation. "And far as I'm concerned," she said softly, reaching out a hand to stroke Spike's side, "it's a good trade."

Now, Spike looked terrified.

"If you want, though," she said, catching his attention, "we can call off the game, and go somewhere private." She opened the doorframe slightly, allowing the light from Twilight's room to frame her body and bring attention to her bare legs. "To talk."

"That–that's not necessary, Applejack," said Twilight, still sounding shocked. "Come on back so we can...continue."

"Wait," Spike said. His eyes flickered back to Applejack's toned legs, before meeting her eyes. "You never said why she'd 'wager' me." His face was radiating heat.

Applejack smirked internally, she was already home-free. "Something about 'confused erections' and 'needing space'," the farmer lied, making air quotes with her fingers.

Spike reeled back, his face blanching. "Oh my God."

As he started to retreat, Applejack called out. "Hey."

The green-haired teenager stopped just before the edge of the stairs. "W-what?"

Applejack winked at him, leaning against the door frame. "I hope I win," she murmured.

She closed the door, walking back to join the others on the bed.

"Holy shit, AJ," Rainbow Dash whispered in awe, "how'd you come up with that on the fly?"

The farmer rolled her eyes, smiling. "I just took notes from all the times I caught you lot bullshittin'."

Now it was the athlete's turn to look incredulous. "So says the alleged Element of Honesty."

Twilight stared at her blonde-haired friend. "Did you mean what you said?" she asked quietly, and Applejack knew then, without a doubt, that she'd found an in.

She held eye contact with her friend, the Princess, for several seconds. Instead of answering, however, she reached for the empty cider bottle and moved to the floor in front of the bed. "Listen here, cause I'm only saying this once."

The other girls followed her, moving to form a circle. Twilight sat across from her, resting on her knees.

"We're gonna have ourselves an actual wager match, somethin' real exciting." The farmer smiled. "Now y'all don't have to play if you don't want to, but if'n you do, you gotta put up somethin' of real value." She eyed Twilight especially. "If Twilight agrees to lend me Spike for a week...well, if I win the wager, I'll let her have a shot at my brother for the same amount of time."

"For what?" Twilight asked, making sure.

"Use your imagination," Applejack said dryly, "but kindly leave out the details."

Twilight bit her lip, looking down in hesitation. Her shoulders heaved at some internal defeat. Finally, she said, "Okay, I accept."

Rarity beamed. "In that case, I'll wager this: I'll make Twilight any outfit she so desires, no matter how outlandish it seems." At the other girls' collective grimaces, she sighed and waved a hand. "Oh, and I'll throw in Sweetie Belle for a week or so. I'm sure she'd make an excellent assistant in the meantime."

Twilight nodded, ignoring the feeling of unspecified guilt she felt making these agreements.

Fluttershy spoke up next. "Um, if it's okay with you," she said, speaking to Twilight, "I'll clean the castle for you." She hid behind her hair. "If you think that's fair."

The Princess's eyes bulged. "What? The entire castle?" At Fluttershy's reassurance, Twilight shook her head. "Fluttershy, I can't ask that of you. You could spend days in here just exploring the place, cleaning it would take forever!"

The animal caretaker shook her head in gentle disagreement. "I wouldn't be alone," she asserted.

"Oh, right," Pinkie Pie said, bopping herself in the head. "Snow White over here."

The purple-haired woman sighed, working her jaw before nodding. "If you really want to wager that, then I'll take it." Fluttershy smiled in return.

Twilight now turned to Pinkie. "What've you got?" she asked, somewhat warily.

The pink menace smiled mischievously. "I'll throw you a party!" She held up her hands at the complaints that immediately followed. "Not just any party, though!" She leaned across to Twilight, winking conspiratorially at her. "A special party, just you and anyone else in Equestria that you want. You want 'em? I'll get 'em." Rarity leaned over and whispered into the girl's ear. "And I promise that they'll be there of their own free will," she added.

"Would you be there the whole time?" Twilight asked, suspicious.

"I Pinkie Promise not to peek!" Pinkie said, winking madly and inserting a finger through a hole in her closed fist.

The former librarian rolled her eyes. "Good enough, I guess." She turned to Rainbow Dash, who had remained strangely silent for the entirety of the game.

At her glance, Dash grunted. "I don't have anything you could want. You already own all the books I have, and I'm kind of fucking poor to boot."

Twilight smiled at her. "No attractive family members to auction off?" she asked sarcastically.

"Fresh out," Dash confirmed. "Besides, we all know AJ's just going to win anyways because of her brother. I'd probably kill all of you if it meant tapping that."

"None taken," Rarity said.

"Actually," Applejack interjected, "I was just—fuck you, by the way—I was going to use this here bottle as the deciding factor." She placed it down on the bare floor where none of the comforters reached. "Y'know, so things would be fair. That way, whoever it lands on just trades with Twilight."

"That's a brilliant idea, Applejack," Twilight said, smiling.

Rainbow Dash blinked. She grinned and leaned forward, her hope renewed. "Well in that case, I bet myself!"

Twilight raised an eyebrow. "Come again?"

"You heard me," the athlete said. "I don't have much to trade, so I might as well go all out." She winked at Twilight. "If I win the wager, I can have Spike, and Twilight can have me."

"You do realize that she can use you as a lecture dummy," Rarity added, to Twilight's immediate joy.

This realization dampened Rainbow's spirits somewhat. The girl half-smiled. "Well, if it gets really bad, I can always fucking kill myself."

"Oh come on," Twilight said, wincing. "My lectures are nowhere near that bad."

"I keep a gun in my purse in case it ever gets to be too much," Fluttershy disclosed.

"Okay," Applejack said, before Twilight could respond angrily, "are we all agreed?"

The girls around her nodded, ready for the verdict.

Frowning and anxious, Twilight spun the bottle, wondering which of the girls around her held her assistant's fate in her hands.