You wake up in a way you would have never believed. You were having the most magnificent dream that you needed to see for yourself. But, the ending shocked you, forcing your eyes open.

"If the rest of the story is written this way, I think I might just kill myself," Anon says.

'Fine,' the writer mentally tells Anon, because he's a mental construct and not an actual being.

You rise out of bed and make your way to the bathroom to perform your Triple-S. Wait a second, you don't know what a Triple-S is? Well here's the top three things you need to know about the Triple S.

First, you shit. Shitting is that wonderful feeling when you excrement your previous day's unused digestive byproduct. It accumulates quite a lot as you sleep, since your body take's it's sweet time rejuvinating itself for the coming day. By removing the bad, we prepare ourselves for a good day.

Second, and this one will shock you. You shower. Yes, even a disgusting, filthy mongrel like YOU can shower in five easy steps. First, you turn on the water. Second, you get in the fucking water. Third, you wash yourself with some mother fucking soap. Fourth, you shampoo your hair you disgusting piece of filth. Fifth, you stare idly into the tile wall, wondering what your doing with your life as the filth runs off your body and down the drain, taking away with it your self-worth and dignity as you berate yourself. Great news! You're fucking clean now! Dry yourself off with a towel and you have successfully showered.

Thirdly, we shave. Yes, we take a razor sharp... uh. Razor. And get that hair off our face. And we know the process won't be complete unless we cut ourselves at least three times. You have now successfully performed your Triple-S.

After stepping away from a verb-tense nightmare that the writer doesn't want to even take a look at, you move downstairs, ready to make a cup of coffee that would make a caffiene addict swoon. You start the coffee pot, when lo and behold, there's a mysterious knock on the door.

You move sensually to the door in a way that would shock your mother and open the door.

"Hi, Anon!" says the familiar yellow pegasus who would make your heart melt, if she didn't do something that would disgust you. "I have a new guess for today!"

"Hey."

Then, she says something that blows your mind. Keep reading to find out! (In the next line that is. I mean, I can't really make you click in the story. Uhh. Commenting F = 1 click.)

"I have a new fetish guess!" she says.

"What is it?"

"Is sensationalized attention whoring your fetish?" Fluttershy asks.

"Psh," you say. "Nah. It's not about grabbing attention. It's about saying and doing things that's meaningful and would make an impact on the world. Nice try, Fluttershy."

Fluttershy kicks the ground in such an adorable way that it would make an old man have a heart-attack, then flutters away.

You close the door, smiling to yourself that you've done a good thing.

Author's Notes:

Flutterpriest looks over his most recent stories, laughing to himself that it's a big joke, with tears running down his face.