Aww yeah. It's that day again. The one day a week you get to say 'Fuck it, I don't even care.' It's Friday. Which means...

Wait, what does that mean in Equestria? Probably nothing. It's not like 9-5 desk jobs are a normal thing in this world. Hell, farmers or ponies who sell goods in the market probably have to work or sell everyday in order to make a living. So, with that in mind, is there the concept of a weekend in Equestria?

Well, there has to be days that the colts and fillies aren't in school, at least. That would make sense. Anyway, that doesn't matter much to you.

Fridays are the day you cook up something special for breakfast. Two pieces of toast, two eggs, and two of those strips of black market bacon you ordered from the griffon kingdom. It tastes great because it's illegal. Well, illegal isn't necessarily accurate, more really... socially unacceptable.

The last thing you need is for ponies to know you eat meat. Especially Fluttershy, who you'd suspect would take it one of two ways. Either she'd be repulsed, and would end the fetish guesses for forever, or there would be a dozen dead animal carcasses on your doorstep. Both... actually have their advantages, when you think about it, but that's not a hump for today. Maybe on a hump day. And now you really don't want Fluttershy to know that Wednesdays are considered hump days.

With a sigh, you pull your breakfast materials out of the fridge and prep your pans for cooking. At the sound of three knocks at the door, you groan and toss everything right back in the fridge. Fluttershy's timing is fucking impeccable as always.

Grabbing your coffee, you mosey your way to the door and throw it open.

"Mornin' Fluttershy, how are you?"

Fluttershy stands on the porch beside a familiar baby dragon.

"And hey to you too, Spike."

"Good Morning, Anon! Today I'm going to-" Fluttershy says.

"Hey, Anon," Spike says quietly.

Silence falls between the three of you. Fluttershy slowly turns to Spike as the baby dragon shivers silently.

"What did I say about making a word?" Fluttershy says.

"S-sorry, Fluttershy. I-it won't happen again," Spike mumbles.

You raise an eyebrow and sip your coffee.

"Harsh," you say.

"As I was saying, Anon," Fluttershy continues, back to her normal cheery self. "I was wondering if dragon abuse is your fetish."

You open your mouth to reply, but then you reconsider for a second. This little dragon has kinda been a little shit to you. He always makes little jeering comments, like a narrator of your failures. The dragon seems to do nothing, and gets away with living with Twilight, who's weird, but that's a different story.

This might be the chance to get a little payback.

"Hell, you never know unless you try," you say, sipping your coffee.

Fluttershy lights up happily, and then turns to Spike.

"A-are you sure, Anon?" Spike says. "I-I mean, w-we don't have to do this."

"Oh! Wait! You're right," you say.

Stepping away from the door, you grab a chair from the kitchen table. Setting it in the doorway, you sit down, sipping your coffee.

"Alright. Now we're ready do to this. Go for it, Fluttershy."

Fluttershy takes a hoof and immediately backhands Spike. The dragon falls to the ground, cracking his head on the doorstep.

"O-ow," he groans as he tries to rise to his feet.

Fluttershy turns to you, smiling wide.

"A-anything?" Fluttershy asks.

"You know, I thought I felt a boner coming on, but it mighta just been gas. Carry on."

Fluttershy kicks Spike back down, and the dragon falls to his back. The pegasus flutters to his side and repeatedly kicks him in the stomach.

"Ow! Ow! OWWW!" the dragon cries. "F-fluttershy! Y-you didn't say-"

"YOU AGREED!" Fluttershy screams. "IT DOES NOT TALK WHILE IT IS BEING BEATEN!"

"T-this isn't worth lunch with Ember!"

You rise to your feet and plant a hard foot in Spike's back. He yelps in pain, and Fluttershy looks up with a smile.

"Nah, nothing yet, keep going."

You sit back down in your chair, sipping your coffee again. Spike writhes on the ground, moaning and groaning in pain. Fluttershy moves down to the baby dragon and lines one hard kick in-between the legs.

Spike cries out, tears falling freely onto the ground. His voice breaks the sound barrier as he whines in pain. He holds his tender jewels with his eyes closed as he curls into the fetal position. Rolling onto the side, you hear him dry heave. You rise from your seat, cheering on.

"OH BOY! HE BOUT TO DO IT!"

Spike's cheeks puff out, then he releases a torrent of green-brown flaming liquid onto the grass on your lawn.

"YEEEAAAHHH!!!!!" you scream out. "This time it wasn't me!"

Fluttershy smiles, content with herself then trots over to you.

"Well, was any of that your fetish?" she asks.

You place a hand to your lip, pretending to consider it.

"Nah, but I think I might know someone who would enjoy it."

The pegasus sighs, frowning.

"Oh well! I'll just have to try something different tomorrow."

Fluttershy walks by the dragon, reaches for her saddlebag and pulls out a bag of bits. Taking two small coins out of her purse, she tosses them on the baby dragon.

"Clean yourself up. You look pathetic," she says.

Then she trots away, leaving the dragon stewing in his own vomit. He looks to you, a pleading look in his eye. With a smile, you close the door and happily stroll to your stove.

"Man, what another wacky day of fetish guesses," you laugh to yourself.