Author's Notes:

We interrupt this actual plot of a story to present something Priest just had to write. More ARG soon.

You open your eyes to another completely average, non serious, not dark, not crazy day in Equestria. You rise from your bed feeling refreshed and relaxed. You yawn loudly, the sleep still clinging tightly to your eyelids. But whatever. You know how this shit works. You get out of bed, and instead of immeadiately going for some of that morning coffee, you decide to do this shit right. You take a nice shit. Hop in the nice warm shower. Shave the stubble from your face. Then just smile at yourself in the mirror. You are a well adjusted, normal person. And that's okay.

You put on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, because you ain't out to court nobody. You head downstairs and--

There are three gentle knocks at the door.

Oh, right. Yeah. That's shit. Well, there's the headache coming on. You ain't out to court anypony, but somepony is out to court you.

You head to the front door and open it wide.

"I love you," Fluttershy says.

You slam the door in her face.

You pause, waiting, arms folded. You take a deep breath and wait, tapping your foot. There are three gentle knocks at the door. You open the door once more.

"Too much?" she asks shyly, dragging a hoof on the ground.

"Ya think?" you spit. "What? What do you want?"

"U-um," Fluttershy stutters, looking behind her. Her wings open a saddlebag that she brought along and pull out a small, pink envelope. She holds the card out for you to take.

You sigh.

"Happy Hearts an-"

"Yeah, yeah. Hooves day. I remember now. At least I have the day off." You tear the envelope off the card which seems fairly simple. Just a folded over sheet of pink paper. "If there's nudes in here, I swear to christ."

"N-no. U-unless you want some lewds~"

"No," you say opening the card.

"A-are heartfelt love letters your fetish, Anon?"

You look down at the words, written in cursive in a big pink heart.

You look back up to Fluttershy, holding the paper in your hand. She smiles back up at you, her face fully flushed.

"I mean every word of it~" she says bashfully.

You take one soft step back, and slowly close the door.

Then lock it.

Nope.

Fuck that. Fuck Fluttershy. Fuck Heart's and Hooves day. Nope. Nooooope.