You're sitting at your kitchen table, absent-mindedly not giving a single shit. So it's just like every other day. There's absolutely nothing better than you could be doing, sitting at this table, staring into space, waiting for something to happen.

Then there are three gentle knocks at the door.

You get up from the table, walk across the room, then throw the door open to see Flutterbutterstutters. What a mother fucking surprise. Who would have thought that after five years of this bullshit, it never fails to shock you that Fluttershy is on the other side of the goddamn door.

"What the everlasting fuck do you want?" you ask the yellow horse as she smiles proudly at you. Today she's wearing a saddlebag, which means that today is a prop based fetish guess. At least it adds some level of mystery to the whole ordeal. Let's she what she's got.

"I-I think you'll love what I have for you today. I-it's not a fetish guess."

Wait, what?

"Wait, what?" you ask.

"Mhm!" she hums proudly, reaching her face into her saddle bag and pulling out a thermos bottle with her teeth. She twists the 'Mug Topper' off, as well as the cap, and pours a strange, thick green liquid into the cup. She then pushes the mug toward you with her snout, like that homeless dog from the movie about dogs falling in love. You know. All of the Furry Movies.

"I'm not drinking that."

"Why not?" Fluttershy asks.

"That looks like vomit."

"It's not vomit."

"You want me to drink your voimit. That's not my fetish," you say flatly.

"Well, I can cross that off next week," she says happily. "But that's not my puke."

"That's Flutterpuke and you can't convince me otherwise."

Fluttershy sighs and picks up the handle of the mug using her wing-fingers or however the fuck those even work, and takes a big gulp of the stuff. A rosiness grows on her cheeks as she gulps it down happily.

"That's gross," you say. "You're gross."

"There, now try it!" the irritated mare says.

Sadly, you know exactly how this shit goes. She won't get off your porch unless you give in to her stupid request. So you take a deep breath, and realize that there is also a remote chance that drinking this will get you one step closer to the sweet embrace of death.

You take the mug, and take a big gulp.

And nearly throw up all over the mare.

The substance is warm, thick and... almost chunky. It has a remarkable bitterness mixed with a sort of salty-sweetness. But it's also harsh. It slides around in your milk like a coagulated cream. You close your eyes and down the substance before it can rest in your mouth any further.

Sadly, that was also the wrong move, because the aftertaste was arguably worse. It has one of those near 'rancid' smells that you can taste. You know what I'm talking about, something that smells so bad you can taste it, but it's in reverse, that it tastes so bad that you can smell it. You feel it try to force itself back up your throat, as your body physically rejects the substance. You take a deep breath, count to ten, before coming back to your surroundings.

"What, the everlasting fuck, was that?" you growl.

"Did that taste like your cum?" Fluttershy asks innocently. "I-it's my own recipe. A half a cup of creme, coffe... because you drink it a lot, sugar, salt, some minced spinach to match your skin color, and a shot of unfiltered alcohol! I figured it would taste just like you, and I just wanted to make sure."

You feel your hands ball into fists.

"There are so many things wrong with this, but let's start with the basics. What makes you think I know what my cum tastes like?"

"Everyone gets curious at least once," she says reflexively.

An awkward silence falls between you two.

"Okay, it checks out," you say. "But next, My cum is not the color of my skin. I don't know how your weird horse cum works, but if Big Mac is shooting red, then he needs to see a fucking doctor. Also, I'm suing you. Go away."

You slam the door in her face before you decide that you might actually swing a punch at the fucking horse.

Then, your body decides something very critically important without your consent. That it's time to remove this abomination from your system. It looks like it's just another day where you are going to fucking vomit for hours, all thanks to Fucking Fluttershy.