Another day working at Sweet Apple Acres. A light wind blows through the trees and provides refreshment on the hot and muggy day.

"Anon. You have been preparing yourself for this very moment."

You stare at your adversary.

"Just like you practiced..."

Sprint at your foe with the speed of fifty kenyans. You pull your arm back and attempt your strongest punch straight at the midsection. The tree doesn't even flinch.

"FUCK!"

That's the last time you try to do something from one of your dreams.

"H-howdy t-there partner."

"Oh not this cosplay bullshit again..."

You turn around to see Fluttershy wearing Applejack's signature stetson.

"A-ah was wonderin if you would like to h-hog tie dis here c-cowmare."

She quickly assumes the position. Face down, ass up. You stare for just a moment.

"Not good enough."

Walking past Fluttershy, who's face is filled with disappointment, you grab AJ's hat. Heading to the barn, you open the doors widely to get a huge glimpse of Applejack's mare hood.

"Oh... howdy Anon..."

Applejack's sultry tone makes you nearly vomit in the back of your throat.

"Found this. Thought I'd bring it back."

"Mah hero... however must I reward such a brave stallion..."

She wiggles her flank in the air teasingly.

"Nope. You're a shit. You're a shit tier pony."

You chuck the hat at her feet and she looks at you shocked.

"And don't you forget it. Cause that's what you are..."

Slowly exit the barn and turn back with a stern look.

"A shit."

You walk away from the sexiest mare in town with the biggest boner. Nailed it. Bitches love mean talk.

Author's Notes:

God damn these are awful. Only a few more of these I think.