Shortly after Nightmare kindly explained what Evan and I became, those two rather dense brothers -- I couldn’t be bothered catching their names -- showed us the way to Canterlot.

“OK Evan, you can summon things and make them appear out of thin air if you so wished, and all you need to do is concentrate, and picture in your mind’s eye just what it is that you want to summon. Also, it isn’t limited to appearing wherever you are, and it can go as far as you desire.” Sang Nightmare as if she hadn’t a care in the world.

She’s been prancing around us as a purple mare for what seemed like hours now, and I have to admit that it was getting on my nerves. However, Evan seemed pretty captivated by everything she had to say, so I had to put up with her presence. I might look excited though, but that’s only because I know that being a “deity,” pretty much meant that I was a freaking God.

“So Nightmare, tell me again -- what are we exactly?” I questioned, snatching her up by her tail and holding her up to my enormous eye; staring down at her as I felt the slightest sign of fear against the inside of my claw.

“Ugh,” sighed Nightmare, agitated and annoyed. “I did tell you, but I guess you didn’t listen. I said that you two are a fire deity. To be a tiny bit more specific, you’re a God of fire; a master of the element. Unfortunately for you, as formidable as you might seem based solely on my descriptions, you won’t be the best on the battlefield. Sadly, they have an air deity; one move and it’ll knock you down if you’re not careful. That’s not all though, they also have a Gryphon, a Diamond Dog, a Gargoyle, Minotaur, Manticore, Bugbear, a Celestia-esque creature, and oh so much more,” declared Nightmare, grinning insincerely at me, and trying to chuckle to ignore her thoughts. “But, to be honest, you only really need to be wary of the Gryphon and the Diamond Dog -- they are the strongest players apart from that wolf...”

All the while, she rambled on and on as if everything she said meant something to us, and she almost seemed to forget that we weren’t from around these parts, and that we hadn’t a freaking clue what she was talking about. She eventually stopped talking and trailed off, engulfed by the very thoughts she tried to ignore earlier. We never stopped following those two strangers, only now they weren’t complete strangers; monster hunters -- they called themselves. Technically, Evan and I are a monster I guess; does that mean they want to hunt us? Who knows, but for now, all I know is that we are in a world from a cartoon, and Canterlot sound like a pretty nice place.

“Mr. Max,” called back both of the brothers, nudging my leg and pointing a hoof towards an eccentric castle embedded in the southern rock face of a mountain. “That’s Canterlot right there,” they affirmed, each wearing a wide grin I glared at them unamused at there "smile". they quickly dropped the smile and continued to walk.

“I’ve seen Canterlot in the show before quite a few times and I’ll be honest, I expected a bit more than...This.” complained Evan, disappointed by the sight he saw.

No matter how upset he was though, his eyes were still fixated on the city on the side of the mountain. Meanwhile, I just managed to notice that a certain, violet member of our group had turned herself once again into a disembodied mist and, was about to fly off.

“Where do you think you’re going Nightmare?” Of a sudden, she darted down and tapped me gently above my fuming nostrils which just irritated me even more.

“Unlike the two of you, I have places to be, and things to do,” she replied, ambiguity appearing to be the norm with her. “I have to go to a Game Master’s meeting, but I can’t wait to rub you in Discord’s ugly face -- he’ll be so jealous!” she squealed, uncharacteristically I glared at her and if looks could kill she would be dead now.

Without warning,  Nightmare disappeared leaving a dusty purple haze and when I finally saw her again, she was hundreds of yards away, tearing through the skies faster than the Supermarine Spitfire. Sighing, I turned to the monster hunters who both looked ready to wet themselves.

“What are you waiting for?” I boomed, trying to hold back the chuckles for now. “Get a move on!”

Wiping a bead of sweat from their faces and ridding themselves of the frogs in their throats, they quickly turned away from me and continued down the path, no doubt taking us into Canterlot.

Just before I made it to the gates of Canterlot, I felt a little bump against one of my legs and looking down, I found a befuddled guard sitting on the floor, face staring up and mouth agape.

“Halt...Beast...” he mumbled, barely coherent.

“I wonder, what do you take like?” I teased, trying to raise my eyebrow as I lifted him by his frail, sweaty neck. My mouth was open, just like his, and an glass-shattering scream ensued after he saw the rows of serrated teeth, secured in my jaw. Luckily for him, my far less sadistic and much more annoying friend, Evan was there, and had an entire head -- and therefore teeth -- under his control.

“OW!” I cried, eyes watering at the pain in my tail. “What the hell?” Evan’s eyes were like daggers.

“Don’t eat the ponies you twat!” he retorted, voice just as resilient as his stare.

“Fine...” I grumbled, displeased. “You, guard; let us in, or I won’t listen to my friend,” I declared, watching as he nodded like an obedient mutt and with mouth wide open, he turned to the gate, giving off a particularly malodorous scent.

As the gates opened, I made out the image of a young, grey filly riding on the back of an equally grey Pegasus that was gently flapping its wings, flying out of the city. Nothing reminded me of life back home, and everything was so strange, but to be fair this is the world of a cartoon, and normality can’t be demanded here; at least not with the same expectations we would have back home.

“What the hell is that thing?” I heard somepony cry out from the crowd I was headed to.

“It looks like a dragon, but it has two heads, just like a hydra -- oh sweet Celestia, its a hygon!”

That last remark made me want to eat a few heads, but those ponies scattered like itsy bitsy mice, dashing from one corner to the next, trying to avoid me altogether. I could probably still catch one of them, but that might take a while, and I don’t know if It can be bothered.

“oh what the hell!?” I screamed after bumping into something rather large. “damn ponies i swear i'm going to eat one of them!”

“Max, we’re not eating anyone,” grumbled Evan with a tasteless frown.

“After looking up, I saw that what had bumped into me strongly resembled a creature often referred to as a “bugbear,” from Pathfinders I believe -- a board game I used to play.

“It’s the bugbear we were talking about earlier,” Said the brothers cowering behind us which had irritated me a bit.

“Should we talk to it before trying anything violent?” questioned Evan, already aware of the answer dictated by my own crude yet enjoyable personality.

“No, we shouldn’t,” I retorted, chuckling. “We should just kill it instead...”

Lunging before thinking, I slammed my jaws against something metal, and feeling a shot of agonising pain in my mouth, I leaned back and found that a single tooth had come out of its place, and descended to ground below. The bugbear smirked at me alone before launching an arrow before I could fully grasp the situation and mid flight, it set itself on fire. I half expected it to just cut me in half, but luckily, I bounced off me and flew back towards the bugbear, incinerating its stylish yet out-of-place fedora. My shock overwhelmed me, but even so I could make out the bugbear’s faint snicker.

“You just fucked up big time boy!” cried the bugbear, leaping forward and landing punch after punch on my face.

“Do something you twat!” I screamed, getting Evan’s attention.

“What?” he asked, lost in the heat of the moment.

“Nightmare said that you can summon stuff right?” I prompted, unsure if it was true myself. “Well then why don’t you try to summon something against this guy?”

“OK...” mumbled Evan, closing his eyes. “Let me concentrate...”

Out of nowhere, just like Nightmare said, an anvil appeared and came within a few inches of hitting the bugbear right on the head. I guess the cartoons were right about this one, since it came with its own humorous whistle.

“You might want to try aiming it,” I suggested sarcastically, still suffering the barrage of punches.

“OK, OK.”

One, two, three; countless anvils rained down from the skies and luckily, Evan seemed to be better than I thought with his newfound ability, since not a single one of them came close to hitting us. At first, it was hilarious watching the bugbear’s attempt at dodging each and every anvil, but when he grabbed one and started running towards me, I started to feel a bit worried. Thankfully, just before he was within an arm’s reach of us, an anvil fell down, and hit him square on the head.

“There we go,” I sighed, only somewhat relieved. Looking to my side, I realised that I may have been wrong about Evan, since apparently when I wasn’t looking, he took an anvil to the face. He probably won’t be getting up for a while.

“Hey, get up you lazy ass,” I moaned, kicking his neck and feeling the tiniest pang of pain.

I would have thought that being hit by a falling anvil would have been extremely painful -- and I’m certain that Evan would agree with me -- but even so, after I took my eyes off of that damned bugbear, it ran at us again and started to beat the shit out of us. Then, out of fucking nowhere, he gets a sword. It took me a while before I finally realised that the sword was in fact protruding from his arm, but that just made it easier for him to control.

“We’re sorry, we’re sorry!” cried Evan admitting defeat and cowering behind my head.

“Ha! You better be!” retorted the bugbear, retracting his sword.

After Evan and I got up from the ground where we fell, he grabbed us by our individual heads, and slammed them together, as if they were two coconuts.

“That’s what you get for ruining my fedora,” he mumbled before letting us go.

“Hey, are there any big events going on around here?” asked Evan with a smile, apparently able to move on from what he did to us surprisingly fast. Maybe he was hit a bit hard on the head by his anvil.

“There’s the Grand Galloping Gala, and that’s in five days,” replied the bugbear, uncharacteristically friendly now. “Other than that, I’m not really sure.”

“OK!” chirped Evan, delighted. “Thanks!”

Evan might have been too busy with his own thoughts to realise, but I could make out a ticket in his pocket. It was probably for the Grand Galloping Gala, since if it wasn’t, then he probably wouldn't have told us about whatever it was when Evan asked him.

“Listen here, if I ever see you two again, my blade is staying out!” affirmed the bugbear, glaring at me as I let out a low growl which just fell on deaf ears.

“Whatever...”

Together, Evan and I dragged ourselves into an alleyway and with the monster hunter brothers behind us, we looked for nothing in particular. Eventually, we came across a spot wide enough for a “hygon” to lie down, so we got Evan to summon up a few hammocks for the four of us -- technically three. I’m not sure why, but I’m tempted not to eat those two idiots -- maybe they’ll be useful.

----------A/N

another great chapter edited by ickhart. enjoy it.

also im having a little challenge i was wondering who could make good art of scorch and torch the winners art gets posted in the next edited chapter.

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