Additional contributions by MixMassBasher.

Dear Star Swirl The Bearded,

You're out of limbo and you never thought of meeting up? Wasn't our friendship worth anything? So much for learning more about friendship.

Your very old friend,
Scorpan

Dear Rarity,

Quit trying to use my school as a means to expand your business.

You and I both know why you actually bought all those sewing machines for the students.

Honestly, you spent too much time with Flim and Flam in Friendship U.

Signed,
Headmistress Twilight

Dear Twilight,

If you can try to expand your harem, I can try to expand my business. Fuck off.

Sincerely,
Rarity
Head of Sweatshop 101

Dear Twilight and Rarity,

And yet we aren't allowed to expand our resort.

Hypocritical bitches.

-Headmasters Flim and Flam

Dear Flim and Flam,

Here's the perfect song to describe your so-called University.

At Friendship U, they teach to you

The many ways to get screwed

So you'd better scram

Before you get scammed

Stands at number two, full of shit

As it's run by two nitwits

See their class?

Full of ass

So learn it all in half the time

But be ready to lose your dimes

Even the school's title rings true

Cause in the end it'll F.U!!!

-Twilight Sparkle

Dear Twilight,

Why do you even keep those postcards? I thought you hated his guts after he acted like a complete asshole to you.

Confused,
Rarity

Dear Rarity,

Cause his postcards show me places I can daydream I'm at rather than this Celestia-forsaken town.

Your headmistress,
Twilight Sparkle