Additional Contributions by MixMassBasher

Dear Twilight,

You call that proper silverware placement?

Please.

Sincerely,
Silver Spoon

Dearest Sister,

I just had the most awkward dinner. Cranky would like to know when he's getting his wedding gift.

Sincerely,
Princess Celestia

Dear Starlight,

Alright, I'm sorry for the way I've been trying to control who you make friends with.

To show you how sorry I am, please bring your new friend to the bedroom tonight, so I can show you one of the greatest benefits of friendship.

Sincerely,
Princess Twilight Sparkle

Dear Starlight,

For the love of Celestia, don't do it. It's a trap.

-Applejack, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, Pinkie Pie, and Rarity

Dear Hasbro,

I've been reduced to this?

Give me a fucking episode already, or you'll be the very first company with headquarters on the moon.

Sincerely,
Princess Celestia

Dear Bronies,

I'm baaaaccccck.

-The Great and Powerful Trixie

Dear most faithful student,

Next time don't bring your new friends to the castle straight away cause next thing you know you might bring back Tirek or somepony else I dislike.

Your angry teacher,
Twilight Sparkle

Dear Fax Machine,

Thanks for the heads up of Trixie being Twilight's old arch nemesis. The look on her face was completely priceless.

Your friend,
Starlight Glimmer

Dear Mayor Mare,

We would like to file a harassment report on a Miss Starlight Glimmer.

Ticked off,
Mrs. Cake and Big Mac

Dear Snips and Snails,

Where were your fucking asses at during my performance. Now get your fucking flanks back to my wagon and compliment on how superior The Great and Powerful Trixie is.

Always Great and Powerful,
The Great and Powerful Trixie

Dear Princess Celestia,

Was this what I was like back when I was your pupil?

Curious,
Twilight Sparkle

Dear Twilight Sparkle,

No you weren't like that.

You were much, much worse.

Your old teacher,
Princess Celestia

P.S. Why did you have to leave me behind with an ass, a mute and a retard?

Dear Twilight,

First a book fetish and now a silverware fetish? Twilight get some mental help.

Your "friends",
Applejack, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy

Dear Sunset Shimmer,

Want to band together and mess around with Twilight?

-The Paint and Growerful Triskie and Starlight Glimmer