Letters From A Disgruntled Friendship Student
by milesprower06

Tanks For The Memories

Dear Rainbow Dash,

Alright, let's just calm the fuck down here.

Remember when I first came to Ponyville? Winter only lasted one day. You can't live without your turtle for one day?

And really? This is NOT your first winter without him. If I recall, we performed the Hearth's Warming Eve play in Canterlot the winter after you first got him. So what gives?

You didn't have to go and create a nuclear winter for Ponyville.

-Twilight

To the desk of Princess Twilight,

Oh, we don't keep track of time by the seasons. If you haven't noticed, the snobs up in Canterlot change the seasons in a timely manner, but us? We just change them whenever we feel like it.

Cordially,
Mayor Mare

Dear Rainbow Dash,

No no no! When life gives you lemons, don't make lemonade. Make life take the lemons back! Demand to see life's manager! I'm the man who's gonna burn your winter down! With lemons!

Sincerely,
Cave Johnson

Personal Journal of Twilight Sparkle

According to the evidence I have seen today, I have made an amendment to the stages of grief, and will be forwarding it to Equestria's Board of Psychologists for approval:

The Five Six Stages of Equestrian Grief
1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Millions of bits in industrial property damage
5. Depression
6. Acceptance

Personal Journal of Rainbow Dash

Alright, alright, I'm ready to confess. The reason I didn't want Tank to hibernate now is... Well...

The sex.

I mean, how the hell am I going to get off now? Have you seen how slow he is? I've always came 4-5 times before he works his way up to it.

I mean, I guess, maybe, I could give Twilight a call...

Thanks, Larson.