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Tired of Trying

by Edensola

Chapter 1: Tired of Trying


Tired of Trying

There sitting on the dusty overlook of a barren wasteland was a hollow changeling. She bore deep black bags beneath her eyes as if she'd been on watch for an eternity while she had both forehooves wrapped around her knees as she sat. Her green mane looked to be dried out as she wore no expression whatsoever, only continuing her watch over nothing. "Welcome back Chrysalis..."

Standing now some distance away at her side was Queen Chrysalis, who took a moment herself to look over the rest of the awry landscape. "So this is what your hive has been reduced to? What a pathetic heap of rubble. I always warned you this would happen." Queen Chrysalis took the time to kick a rock down the dusty hill as it tumbled out of sight and out of mind. She began casually trotting up to the opposing changeling with an amused snicker. "You were always bustling with energy before, a shame it's all come down to this."

The changeling who sat looking over the landscape sulked further as she muttered. "I don't know where I went wrong..."

Queen Chrysalis cackled as she lifted a dusty pebble with telekinetic magic and observed it. "Oh you were wrong from the beginning. You and I came from the same hive but we've alwaaaays had our differences. You simply refused to see love for what it was, a food source." She tossed the pebble aside. "Passion gets you nothing in the game of love. What was the word you used to ridicule me with? Lust was it?"

The changeling glanced to her right over at the queen tiredly. "Instant gratification..."

Queen Chrysalis went up into bustling laughter as she had to place a hoof upon her chest to calm herself down. "Ahahahahaha! Aaaaah yes! That waaaas it wasn't it!? It still makes me laugh to this very day." She leaned forward and raised a brow at the fellow changeling. "You look quite starved for love my dear! Perhaps instant gratification wouldn't have been so bad afterall hm!? The heart is withered, and waiting an eternity for nothing has taken its toll on you. Now look, your subjects have all abandoned you and here you are, left with nothing."

The opposing changeling found it hard to argue with the Queen given her current state of conditions. She continued to look at the barren wasteland, her home, her heart, her attempt at harvesting love. "Why am I so wrong? W-What is wrong with waiting? W-What is wrong with wanting my love to mean something? Is it simply food, to be devoured and forgotten without a minutes notice? Can it not be cared for?" The changeling's eyes were dried of tears as she sat in her deep and now lonesome confusion. "Why am I like this?"

Queen Chrysalis couldn't help but sigh as she rolled her eyes, soon strolling up to the changeling as she used a hoof to forcibly turn her head to face her while giving her a tired look. "It is a simple question of whether or not you are willing to be happy? Or miserable?"

The fellow changeling shook her head as she disagreed. "Y-You're wrong..."

Queen Chrysalis groaned heavily as she raised her head and practically spat the words at her fellow changeling. "I am wrong!? Aha! Look at you, you are a withered husk, a Queen no longer! I'd be better off putting you out of your misery right now than letting you go on with this shameful display! Deprived of love, now even passion, reduced to some lone hive Queen with no subjects willing to endure your madness! The handling of love is not a game to be played by those with the delusional feeble mind. It is of life and death, for the heart is a tender organ. You spent your whole life deluding yourself, even your subjects, that all creatures are meant to harmonize with another! That through patience and understanding love can be harvested with an eternal partner when it simply isn't so. Yet I am wrong?"

The opposed changeling returned to looking down at her barren wasteland.

Queen Chrysalis began to circle her. "Have you not grown tired of waiting for something that will never come? Have you not yet understood that it is only through control and dominance that you truly get what you want? That through tender love and affection all you will find is shattered dedication? Have you not yet grasped this common knowledge? We changelings are not storybook characters my dear, life is not some simple filly's tale. We TAKE what we want and reap the love from others! Forcibly if need be and we care not for what they're reduced to afterwords! We are Changelings, not poooonies! All creatures need affection to live and we are simply, ahead of the curve."

The opposed changeling suddenly shoved Chrysalis away as she stood, shaking her head and shouting at her. "You are wrong! Wrong wrong wrong! All of us can have that life to! W-We just have to be patient! We just have to have passion! And, and-" she shook her head as she backed away from Queen Chrysalis who looked at her with annoyance. "It doesn't matter how you feel right now, b-but your path is always the one that leads to true sadness! You're-" before she stumbled back and off the cliff with a terrified scream, tumbling down the mountain.

Queen Chrysalis rolled her eyes yet again as she spread her wings and then trailed after the now tumbling changeling.

The frail and weaker changeling continued to tumble down for some time as she eventually hit rock bottom. She slammed down hard upon the grim surface below, smashing her face against dirt before sliding forward with a heavy grunt and cough. The ashen winds were almost comforting at that point as the cold air distracted her from the pain of her descent. She laid there for a moment as she couldn't help but sob tiredly while letting off a raspy wheezing sound. She muttered to herself in the form of comfort, "I am not wrong. I'm not wrong."

Queen Chrysalis eventually touched down upon the ground elegantly as she trotted forward, up to the pitiful laying changeling. She knelt down beside her as she listened to her talking to herself. Eventually with telekinetic magic Chrysalis took hold of the changeling's head and forced her to look ahead at the vast empty landscape yet again. Queen Chrysalis snapped, "LOOK! Look at what YOU did!"

The broken hive queen looked upon the now dead lands with grief stricken eyes, seeing nothing but broken carapace for miles on end.

Queen Chrysalis slammed the changelings face into the dirt angrily as she stood yet again, taking a moment to trot forward and get a good look at the wasteland herself. "This hive used to be beautiful until you took reign over it. It used to have some form of meaning! But instead, you twisted it into your own sickening vision, playing make believe in your own little world. We changelings have adapted to the truest form of love there is, yet you cannot see this. You ONLY deny it." Her voice calmed down some as she spoke with a hint of sincerity. "We are truly hideous creatures. Many would either prefer to ignore us or simply run at the sight of us, we are not a welcome existence." She paused, speaking on the rhythm of the howling winds. "Yet we were blessed with the magic to lie, deceive, and manipulate any who would oppose us absolutely perfectly. This is our gift, not our curse. We represent those who were stuck at the bottom. Those left to be forgotten."

The broken queen leaned up a little, or at least attempted to as she fell back to her side, too tired to rise to all four hooves. Her mane hung over her eyes, only slightly parted to show her sliver of defiance, what little remained. She was silent and didn't respond as of yet.

Queen Chrysalis glanced back at the changeling with a steady glare. "Without our magic we would've died off long ago. That should be reason enough for you to see, that this form of delicacy you wished to force upon our kind, simply does not work for those such as us." She spat the words yet again. "You are a tired example of all those hopeless changelings who believed love would come frolicking to them."

The broken changeling queen eventually sat up as she returned to her previous sitting position, wrapping her forehooves around her knees.

Chrysalis raised her head suddenly as she looked down upon her fellow changeling with an expression of pity yet again. "Come with me. Forget this childish dream. Forget this foolishness. We have food, we have servants, we have an endless abundance of love. My path has given our kind a time of prosperity and nourishment. By trampling on the feelings of those we devour, we have finally taken what we have always desired, what we have always deserved. Join us, learn my ways, and even you can recover from this sad pitiful state you're in."

The changeling queen muttered as she remained in that position. "I,....I don't want to."

Queen Chrysalis' nose wrinkled in annoyance at the changeling's response as she opened her muzzle, about to say something before she paused. She eventually sunk into a state of nonchalance before speaking firmly. "So even now you refuse to abandon this foolishness."

The changeling said nothing more as she just continued to gaze tiredly ahead with half closed eyes and a slight frown.

Queen Chrysalis gave her a look of disgust. "Tch! You put on the ruse of determination but even now I can see that you are gone. Not even you know why you continue down this path of nothingness. Yet you would spend eternity waiting for one who will never come. When you could've accepted so long ago you were never meant to play by the same rules. But I digress, for I have grown tired of trying." Queen Chrysalis turned around absently then as she began to trot away from the changeling, and this begotten wasteland, never to return.

The opposed changeling queen called out to her however, speaking in a determined tone. "But, I haven't!"

Queen Chrysalis flinched as she glanced back with a raised brow and look of annoyance. "What was that? You haven't whaaat?"

But the changeling said nothing, as she buried her head into her forehooves and just remained there, sitting in silence.

Queen Chrysalis just shook her head as she eventually pressed forward again, finally leaving the changeling behind. "Such nonsense."


Time passed, months even as the changeling remained there sitting in place. As she continued looking at the broken structures of her once vibrant changeling hive, she eventually rose, struggling to all four hooves. With what little strength she had in her body, she pressed forward tiredly, reluctantly, not even certain to where she was going. I have waited and waited, searched and searched. Now it is only me, yet I still believe the same thing. I do not need to change shape, size, or personality. I am meant to find somepony, and somepony will find me. A-And even if my dedication proves fruitless, even if I did it all for nothing. The nameless changeling queen continued to stride through her withered lands for miles on end, as if endlessly trotting towards the distant yet eternal sunset.  As if she were trying to reach a goal, knowing she had no certainty if it'd ever arrive. Then maybe, I would much rather just rule my world alone. I can stand on my own.

And as she trotted through the shifting sands, she still looked withered and worn like a trotting skeleton. It was as if she'd aged nearly a thousand years, yet she still found the determination to trot towards nothing, and let her thoughts and mind wander as she did so.

Suddenly, behind the changeling however it sounded as if a hoof shifted in the sand as it stood some distance away. "E-Excuse me!"

Now she was hearing things? The nameless queen looked gravely tired as she lowered her head in sulking manner. Yes, that voice, perhaps it was the embodiment of something she desired before finally withering away? Or perhaps it was truly there? She felt the least she could do was entertain her thoughts as she gathered the last of her strength to see what, if anything, was really behind her. She trembled as she struggled to turn her head to see, before managing to put on a warm and hopeful smile. She begged the question, "Have you finally arrived?"

~THE END~

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