That day started innocently enough; just going skydiving with some friends. How they managed to convince me- a guy who’s afraid of heights- to go, I’ll never know. I couldn’t have backed out either; we already took all the classes and training, and it would kind of be a waste to not put them to use. Would I still have gone if I knew my life wasn’t going to be them same? Yeah, probably.

“Alright! You guys ready?!” our instructor shouted after the plane door flew open. Everybody gave some kind of confirmation before jumping out of the door and falling towards the earth. The instructor must have seen the hesitation through my goggles because with a quick motion, he managed to get behind me and shove me out of the door. In that split second of confusion, panic set in and I instantly forgot everything I learned, making me flip and tumble through the air uncontrollably. The panic didn’t last long though, as after a few seconds of falling, I just passed out. In what felt like a few seconds later, my eyes fluttered open to the sight of clouds rushing past me.

“What the hell?! I’m still falling?! I’m still alive?!” I shouted at the fluffy clouds that almost seem to be slowing my fall. Quickly bringing my flailing arms to my body, I searched for a handle and pulled it, releasing my parachute and slowing my fall.

“Oh my God. I’m never doing this again,” I panted to myself as I drifted through the thick clouds and tried to calm myself down, “now I just have to wait to land; I’m probably way off course too depending on how long I was out.” I floated in a random direction for a minute or so, not able to make anything out through the mass of clouds surrounding me.

“…I probably should have waited to pull my chute. This will probably be a- oh shit!” I started before a random tree appeared out of nowhere. Crashing through a few levels of branches, my fall quickly came to a stop, leaving me to hang upside down and tangled in my chute.

“Ow,” I moaned as I struggled to get free, but couldn’t, “great, now I’m stuck.” As I sat, or hung, in frustration, I took a look around me and noticed I wasn’t outside anymore. I was in some kind of bedroom with walls covered in bookshelves that were stuffed with books of all sizes that had titles too small for me to read. Behind me where I couldn’t see, was where I guessed the door to the room was since I could hear muffled voices coming from there. This is going to be hard to explain, but I hope they’ll at least let me down, I thought as I heard the multiple footsteps approach the door.

“-and make sure you send that letter to the princess,” a feminine voice said as the doorknob rattled.

“Alright,” a young boyish voice replied as I heard the door swing open.

“Now, where is that book?” the feminine voice asked as I watched a book directly in front of me slide out of its place on the shelf, and float down towards the floor. If I wasn’t upside down, my mouth would have been hanging, and it would have dropped further when I locked eyes with the creature under me. Her eyes were the only things I needed to see to know that it was Twilight Sparkle; one of the main protagonists from the show My Little Pony. The few seconds we spent in silent shock helped me to confirm my assumption; the small, quadruped frame, the few shades of purple all over her body, and the spiral horn on her forehead all confirmed that I might be going crazy.

“…No fucking way,” I muttered, breaking the silence and trance between us.

“Aaahh!” she shrieked before I heard a loud thud and everything went black. I once again woke up in what felt like a few seconds, this time I thankfully wasn’t falling, but I still couldn’t move.

“W-what are you?” I heard Twilight’s voice ask as I rolled my head around and felt throbbing pain on the back of it.

“Ow, why’d you hit me so hard?” I whined as I tried to move a hand to my head, but couldn’t.

“I… I’m sorry?” she replied as I opened my eyes and found her standing a few feet away from me with her horn covered in her purple aura.

“Come on Twilight, it might be trying to trick you!” Spike, the purple and green lizard thing standing behind Twilight advised.

“R-right!” she replied as she put on a hardened face that matched the intensity of her magic, “What are you and what are you doing here?”

“…I’m a human, and I don’t know,” I answered honestly and calmly.

“What’s a human?” Spike whispered to Twilight.

“I don’t know,” she whispered back before bringing her attention back to me, “w-well, I did some tests on you and found out you’re a carnivore. You don’t eat p-ponies do you?”

“No,” I answered simply, “and I’m actually an omnivore, but no, I don’t eat ponies.”

“Oh thank Celestia.”

“W-what about dragons?” Spike spoke up.

“We don’t have those where I’m from,” I answered, but his face held its nervous look, “…No, I don’t eat dragons.” After letting out his own sigh, the two looked at each other for a second before nodding. Turning her attention back to me, Twilight’s horn glowed at the same time the ropes around my naked body came undone.

“…Why am I naked?” I asked after the thought registered with me and I put a hand over junk.

“We had to make sure you didn’t have any weapons on you,” Twilight answered as I looked around the room, “do you need them?”

“Yes, please,” I replied quickly and a second later they floated over to me, “thank you.” Standing and turning my back to them, I quickly started to get dressed, ignoring the fact that my boxers were gone. I hate going commando, but that’s nothing compared to what’s going on right now, which is what? I am so confused right now.

“A-are you alright?” Twilight asked, interrupting the staring contest I was having with my pants.

“Oh, yeah, sorry,” I said before putting the rest of my clothes on.

“So uh, I’m Twilight Sparkle and this is Spike.”

“Nice to meet you, I’m Alex,” I greeted as I stepped up to them with an open hand, making them step back fearfully, “still scared, huh? I guess that’s understandable.”

“S-sorry, but you can never be too careful,” Twilight said as I dropped my unshaken hand.

“You don’t have anything to be afraid of. I’d never hurt someone as cute as you,” I said with a smile and wink. The wink might have been a little too friendly. I quickly realized my thought was wrong as I watched Twilight’s purple cheeks flush and her eyes widen before focusing on the floor.

“Y-you think I’m c-cute?” she asked as her hoof pawed the floor.

“Of course. You think so too, right Spike?”

“I… I guess?” he answered, his confusion obvious.

“And as the first dragon I’ve seen, you’re pretty cool too.” Better not leave him out.

“T-thanks,” he replied with an embarrassed smile.

“Well, now that we all know each other, I guess this makes us friends,” I said, hoping it would be that easy.

“What?” the two said in unison before Twilight continued, “But we only just met!”

“So you’re saying you don’t become friends with people after meeting them?” I asked, my smile turning into a slightly amused one.

“N-no, it’s not that… It’s just that friends have to know things about each other,” she said unconvincingly, not being able to hold my gaze, “a-and I’m worried about the town and my friends...”

“Fair enough, but that process takes some time. Why don’t we spend some of it walking around town?” I suggested, curious about what Ponyville looked like after she mentioned it.

“I-I don’t know,” she replied uneasily, “I should probably write the princess a letter about-”

“Tell you what,” I interrupted, “how about you hold off on telling this princess about me? At least, until I do something bad, which I promise I won’t. If I do, you can tell her I’m some vicious monster destroying the town and she’ll throw me in the dungeons or something and you won’t have to worry about me anymore.”

“T-the princess wouldn’t do that,” she mumbled as she pawed the floor some more.

“Well whatever she does, you, your friends, and the town will be safe. All I’m asking for is a little trust; I’m sure you’ve trusted strangers before.”

“Hmm, I guess so,” she murmured.

“So, deal?” I asked as I kneeled down to her and held out my hand, making the two flinch again, “Oh, sorry. Just want a handshake, or hoofshake in this case.” I held my hand there for a while as she though really hard. Jeez, what happened to friendship being magic?

“A-alright,” Twilight said as she looked back up at me and daintily put her hoof in my hand, “I’ll trust you.”

“Thanks,” I replied with a smile as I shook her hoof. Taking what I thought was a second, I looked down at her hoof in my hand and rubbed my thumb over her soft and warm fur. Doesn’t get any realer than this.

“W-what are you doing?” she asked nervously.

“Oh, sorry,” I said as I let go, “I was just admiring how soft your fur is. You must take good care of yourself.”

“N-not really,” she said with a blush as she looked away.

“You can say that again,” Spike muttered, “just look at this room.”

“Well, I guess you won’t mind cleaning it up while I show Alex around town,” Twilight snapped back, making him sigh dramatically before heading over to a pile of books, “s-shall we?”

“Oh sure,” I answered as I watched the door to the room open by itself and follow her out and down to the main library. Just like upstairs, the walls were covered in shelves stuffed with books, though it was noticeably tidier. When we reached the front door, I had to bend over a little to fit through and knew immediately that I’d hit my head at least twice today. First though, I was hit by the blinding colors of nature outside of the library; the bright and lush greens of the grass, trees, and bushes, the bright blue of the sky, and the bright golden-yellow of the gigantic sun that I could somehow look right at without burning my retinas.

As I looked through squinting eyes at my surroundings, I quickly noticed the various ponies that stopped doing what they were doing to stare at me. I didn’t remember that the library was in the middle of town, so I didn’t think about how the townsfolk would react to seeing me. As I was able to open my eyes a little wider, I saw a few different reactions ranging from slack-jawed surprise, to mild interest on the colorful pony faces. With a small wave and nervous smile, I quickly followed after Twilight down a street where more ponies continued to stare, but the attention quickly died.

“So uh, what are you guys?” I asked, thinking it’d be better to pretend I don’t know anything.

“P-ponies,” she answered simply and nervously.

“…Anything else I should know about them?” I asked, a little thrown off by her less than talkative attitude. I didn’t get an answer though when she looked up into my eyes, blushed, and looked away again. What’s up with her? I thought she was supposed to be the nerd or bookworm who couldn’t stop lecturing once she started. Whatever… Our wandering eventually lead over to the gingerbread roofed bakery of Sugarcube Corner, where I conveniently realized I was hungry.

“Hey, mind if I go in here real quick?”

“S-sure,” she replied as I opened the door for her, making a bell ring and letting the owners know they had customers.

“Welcome to Sugarcube Corner! What-” a voice started before suddenly gasping. When I looked towards the counter, all I saw was a pony shaped cloud that disappeared after a few seconds of my staring. That better not happen all the time.

“I’m sorry about that, dear,” a chubby, light-blue mare with a pink swirled mane and little apron said as she came from the back of the store, “Pinkie can get a little over-excited when she meets new ponies.”

“Not a problem, Mrs. Cake,” I said as I recognized the pastry pony.

“I’m sorry, have we met before?” she asked with that signature pony head tilt.

“Oh, no. My name’s Alex and Twilight just told you’re the owner, is all,” I lied with a friendly smile, “she also told me how Sugarcube Corner has the best pastries around.”

“Oh, well how sweet of you Twilight,” Mrs. Cake said as she smiled at the squinty-eyed mare behind me, “well, what can I get you?”

“Hmm,” I hummed as I kneeled down and looked at the display case, “You know what? I’m a big fan of cinnamon rolls, you wouldn’t happen to have any, would you?”

“Of course!” she answered happily.

“Great, I’ll take one then,” I said as stood back up and pulled out my wallet that I only just realized I had.

“Great! That will be three bits.”

“Uh,” I muttered as I froze with my fingers on the few dollar bills I had. Oh right, they use a different currency.

“Hey, Twilight,” I whispered as turned around and leaned down to her, “mind spotting me a few bits?”

“Uh, s-sure,” she said as she magiced a bag from behind her mane a dropped the three bits into my hand.

“Thanks, I’ll be sure to pay you back,” I said as I turned back around and gave the money to the nice pastry pony as she handed me my food.

“Enjoy!”

“If this is as half as sweet as you, I’m sure I will,” I said with what I thought was a friendly smile and wink.

“Oh you,” she giggled as a slight blush came to her blue cheeks, “I’m a married mare, you know.”

“Uh, well, tell Mr. Cake I said hi,” I replied with a small amount of confusion before turning and sitting at a table that Twilight joined me at. I started eating my pastry, humming in delight every few bites as Twilight sat in silence with a slight scowl on her face.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, taking a break from my food, “You look a little upset.”

“I-I’m fine,” she replied unconvincingly, “I’m just thinking of where to take you next.” With a shrug, I continued to eat until I finished a minute later with a hearty burp.

“Thanks again,” I said to Mrs. Cake as I returned my plate, “I’ll be sure to come back soon.”

“Anytime dear,” she replied with a smile as she reached for the plate, but instead touched my hand. The second I looked down at her hoof it removed itself and grabbed the plate, making my eyes follow it up to the mare’s face that had a smile on it different from the one a second ago. She winked at me as she turned and headed to the back of the shop, my eyes watching her until she disappeared.

“…Weird. Anyway, ready to go?” I asked as I turned back to Twilight whose scowl had returned.

“…Yeah,” she answered as her magic opened the door and she led the way. For whatever reason, Twilight felt like talking after we left the shop and provided me with all the useless info I could need and not remember on all the places we passed. After some unknown amount of time, we made to the one side of town where the Carousel Boutique sat in all its tacky glory. As long as Rarity likes it, who cares what I think, right?

After explaining what the shop was and who ran it, Twilight kept on walking past it instead of stopping to go in like I thought she would.

“Hey, shouldn’t we go in?” I asked, making her stop and turn her head back to me.

“Why?”

“Uh, didn’t you say she was your friend?” she nodded slowly, “Then, shouldn’t you go say hi since you’re here? That, and you said she was a designer, so I wanted to see if she could make me some clothes just in case I’m going to be here for a while.” With an exaggerated sigh and droop of her head, she turned around and entered the shop with me close behind. When the door opened and the bell at the top of it rang, I could hear Rarity’s singsong voice call from the back as a set of hoof-steps accompanied it.

“Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique!” Rarity greeted as she appeared. Like I expected her white coat, curled purple mane, and make-up were flawless, but it was her beautiful blue eyes that really caught my attention.

“Hello, Rarity,” Twilight greeted as she stepped forward, knocking me out of the small trance I was in.

“Oh, Twilight, Darling! It’s been too long!” Rarity replied as she approached her and the two nuzzled each other softly, “Where have you been?”

“Oh, well, I’ve just been working on-”

“And who is your tall friend here?” Rarity interrupted as her large eyes scanned me.

“How do you do? I’m Alexander, but please, call me Alex” I said with a small bow.

“Well, hello, Alex. As I’m sure Twilight has no doubt told you, I’m Rarity, Ponyville’s resident fashion designer. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she greeted as she held out her hoof.

“Quite the pleasure indeed,” I said as I kneeled down, took her hoof and kissed it.

“Oh my, what a gentlecolt,” she giggled as she turned her blushing face away.

“A lady like you deserves the best,” said as I stood back up, “speaking of the best, I hear you’re it when it comes to clothes.”

“The best and only in town,” she said as she focused her attention back on me.

“Well, I was wondering if you could make me some. I don’t know how long I’ll be here in town, so I’d like to have more than just this,” I said as I gestured to my admittedly lazy outfit.

“Of course, Darling. That shouldn’t be a problem. I’ll just need to take a few measurements, so come this way,” she replied with a flip of her mane as she started to head into the back.

“You coming Twilight?” I asked when I noticed she wasn’t following, but instead sitting down on a cushion pretty aggressively.

“No, you go ahead. I’ll be right here.”

“Alright, I’m sure this won’t take too long,” I said with a reassuring smile before following after Rarity.

“Now, if you’d please remove the clothes you’re wearing and step up here,” she asked as she pointed to a modeling platform and levitated a measuring tape, quill, inkwell, and parchment from somewhere.

“Sure,” I replied as I started to do as I was told. Once I got to the button of my jeans, I remembered that I didn’t have on underwear. How did I forget about that?

“What’s the matter, Darling?” Rarity asked after I froze for a few moments.

“Uh, I forgot that I’m not wearing any underwear,” I answered sheepishly as I scratched my head.

“Underwear?” she repeated with that head tilt. Goddamnit that’s so cute.

“Uh, yeah. Its like, clothes that go under my clothes,” I explained, but her face stayed blank, “and they cover up my… stuff.”

“What stuff?” she asked as she tilted her head the other way.

“…Never mind. You guys are naked all the time, so I guess I can stand to be naked in front of one person,” I muttered as I undid my pants. When they hit the floor and I stepped out of them, I heard Rarity gasp, making me look up and see her cheeks turn red as the items she held in her magic fell loudly on the floor.

“Rarity? Alex?” I heard Twilight call, “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, everything’s fine,” I answered, “Rarity just dropped something.”

“Okay. Are you alright Rarity?”

“Yeah, she’s fine,” I answer again.

“If that’s the case, then I want her to answer.” Aw, shit.

“Hey, Rarity, snap out of it,” I said as I stepped down from the platform towards her. As I moved forward, her eyes stayed glued on my business as she also took a step forward for some reason. As she did, she stepped on the spilled ink, quickly losing her balance and falling towards me with a surprised shriek. I took another step forward to brace myself and catch her, but I lost my balance on the slippery ink too and we ended up falling to the floor with a loud and painful thud.

“Ah, damnit,” I moaned as I rubbed the back of my head and sat up slightly, making Rarity slide down my chest, her silky fur rubbing against my skin, “sorry Rarity. Are you alright?”

“Y-yes, I believe I’m fine,” she said as she sat up, putting her face to face with me. She stared deep into my boring brown eyes as I casually looked back into her beautiful blue ones.

“I just have to say, you have really beautiful eyes,” I commented.

“W-well, I-I-”

“Rarity! Are you alright?! I heard you scream and-” Twilight exclaimed as she came running from around the corner before seeing us, “What’s going on?”

“Oh, just had a little accident is all, right Rarity?” I said as I looked between the two.

“Huh? Oh, yes,” Rarity said after she took a second to shake her head, “I just lost my myself for a moment and spilled a little ink before falling and landing on Alex here. I’m sorry if I worried you, dear.”

“It’s fine, as long as you’re alright,” Twilight said as she calmed down, but looked a little peeved, “need some help?”

“No, I believe I’m alright,” Rarity replied as she got off of me, “oh my, look at the mess I’ve made. I have ink all over me and, you, Alex…” She trailed off strangely as I stood back up.

“Yeah, you’re totally covered, in, ink…” Twilight added before she too went silent.

“What?” I asked as I looked at both of their gawking faces, “What’s wrong with me?” I looked down and instantly noticed the item drawing their attention. I quickly tried to hide the erection I was somehow sporting, but failed miserably as my hands just weren’t enough.

“Alex?” Twilight practically growled as her eye twitched.

“Y-yeah, Twilight?”

“I think we should leave.”

“Good idea,” I said as I took a step towards my clothes, “let me just-”

“NOW!” she exclaimed suddenly as her horn glowed and I was wrapped in a magenta light that lifted me off the floor and towards the front of the shop. Suddenly snapping out of her trance, Rarity chased after us to the door.

“But Darling, what about your clothes?!”

“Guess I’ll come back for them later!” I called back as Twilight took off down the road with me floating next to her. Some time and large distance later, I was suddenly and painfully dropped on my face. After taking a second to recover, I looked over at Twilight and found her collapsed with her chest heaving.

“You okay Twilight?” I asked as I moved over to her and put a hand on her side.

“Really… tired…” she panted.

“I can see that,” I replied as I took my hand off her and saw it was covered in sweat, “let’s get you somewhere you can rest.” I glanced around for a second before I recognized a familiar red barn surrounded by apple orchards and made a few assumptions. After stretching my arms a little, I lifted Twilight up into them and cradled her delicately as I continued down the road.

“What are… you doing?” she asked as she tried weakly to escape my grasp.

“Just getting you some help,” I answered as I tightened my hold on her, “don’t want you dying on me. You’re the only friend I have here, so stop moving and just relax.” With that, she stopped squirming and rested her head on my shoulder as I kept walking and within a few minutes was at the gates of Sweet Apple Acres.

“Hello?” I called out, hoping someone would show up, “Someone, er- somepony needs help!” After a few seconds, a burly red pony with sleepy eyes and a straw colored mane trotted out of the barn.

“Can ah help you?” he asked in his southern drawl.

“Yeah, it’s nothing too serious. My friend here, I’m sure you know her-”

“Eeyup,” he interrupted.

“…Yeah, she just needs a place to rest for a while and maybe something to drink. I think she overexerted herself earlier.”

“No problem. Follow me,” he said simply as he opened the gate and led me to the farmhouse. Once inside the cozy little home filled with apple-themes objects and knick-knacks, I was instructed to lay Twilight on the couch, which I did, and was handed-or hoofed- a glass of water that I fed to the sleeping mare. Once the glass was emptied, she sighed in relief as she relaxed. I sat down on the floor in front of her while Big Macintosh sat on his haunches next to me in silence. After a while, I started feeling uncomfortable so I decided to speak up.

“So, my name’s Alexander, or Alex for short. What’s yours?”

“Big Macintosh,” he answered curtly as I folded my legs.

“Hey there, Big Macintosh,” I greeted and he simply nodded, “so… What do you grow out here?”

“Apples, mostly.”

“Hmm. You enjoy your work?”

“Wouldn’t be doin it if ah didn’t.”

“Makes sense… So is it just you, or-”

“Big Mac!” another southern voice that was much more attractive than Big Mac’s exclaimed from the front door, “What are you doin sittin around fer? We still got work to do!”

“Sorry sis,” he replied as he stood up and turned around, “we got company.”

“Company?” the voice repeated as the sound of hooves approached, “Who could be comin over at this time ah day?” Walking up next to Big Mac was Applejack, the cowgirl-cowpony… cowmare?- of Poneyville, orange fur, blonde mane, Stetson and all.

“Twilight?” she said when she saw her, “What happened to ‘er?! She looks terrible!” When Applejack looked to her brother, instead of saying anything, he simply stepped out of her line of sight and presented me. When she saw me, a look of confusion covered her face.

“Uh, hey,” I greeted as I stood up, her eyes growing wider as she saw how big I really was, “I’m Alexander, but you can call me Alex.”

“D-did,” she stuttered for a second before shaking herself and putting on a determined face, “Did you do this to Twilight?”

“Well, not directly, but yeah. I guess so,” I answered honestly. Right after I spoke, I watched Applejack quickly spin around and lean forward. Knowing exactly what that meant, I took a quick step to the side and narrowly avoided getting bucked in the stomach.

“Woah! What was that about?!” I exclaimed as I held my hands up defensively.

“You hurt mah friend, so it only seems fair that I hurt ya back!” she growled as she kneeled down and pounced at me. Taking another quick step to the side, I avoided her, but also managed to catch her and keep her from flying into the wall covered in family photos behind me. After setting her gently on her hooves, a confused look on her face once again, I bolted to and out the door. Only a few seconds later did the sound of beating hooves follow me out into the orchard next to the house.

Knowing I wouldn’t be able to beat her in a test of speed, I decided to use my slightly better than average agility and stamina to weave in and out of the trees. Though it took next to no effort for me to make sharp turns, this wasn’t the case for Applejack and I ended up wearing her out relatively quickly. When I didn’t hear her hooves behind me, I glanced back and saw her laid out on the ground with her legs spread out in four different directions.

“You… you… you better run…” she huffed as I stood a few feet from her, also panting, but not nearly as hard.

“You almost had me there,” I said as I wiped the sweat from my forehead, “but that’s enough fun. Just go back and talk to Big Macintosh and Twilight; they’ll explain what happened.”

“Like ah’d believe a slippery varmint like you,” she huffed.

“Aw, come on; that accent of yours is really cute when you not being mean,” I said with a smile.

“...W-what’d you say?” Applejack asked as she tried to stand.

“I said your accent’s cute, and I’d be willing to bet a few others would say the same.”

“…No one’s ever told me that before,” she said bashfully, making me raise a brow.

“…Well, I’ll let you think about it and cool off for a bit then. I’ll come back for Twilight later,” I said before starting to walk along the tree line away from the farm.

“W-wait!”

“Relax, I’ll be back,” I said with a wave as I kept walking. I feel like something weird is going on with these ponies, but I can’t quite tell what it is. They seem as nice as I imagined, so as long as nothing really crazy happens I’ll be fine; not that any of this isn’t crazy, of course. I walked until I reached the edge of what I assumed was that one forest I never remember the name of. Remembering that it’s supposed to be super dangerous and not to mention spooky, I made sure not to go in and just walked along the edge. I eventually came across the little stream that I was pretty sure led to Flutteshy’s place, so I followed it and sure enough, I was at her front door.

“Hmm, so what reason can I give for being here?” I asked myself, “I mean, just being some creature she hasn’t seen before should be reason enough, but I should cover all my-”

“Hey! Who are you?” I heard a voice call from the sky, “What are you doing at Fluttershy’s place?” Is that Rainbow Dash? If I’m honest, she’s the one I wanted to meet the least out of the six.

“Uh,” I muttered as I slowly turned around and faced her, “I-”

“A Diamond Dog? What are you doing here?!” she exclaimed as she started revving up her wings, “I won’t let you hurt Fluttershy!” She finished her sentence by blasting off right towards me. I waited until the last possible second to dodge the furry rainbow cannonball and succeeded, but as I dove to the side, I caught a glimpse of a pink mane in the doorway of the house right before it was blown in.

I quickly got up, rushed back to the doorway, and looked inside the cottage, finding the two ponies in a ball in a corner of the room. Rushing inside, I quickly separated the two, checking Rainbow Dash for all of three seconds to see if she was fine before I tossed her to side and checked Fluttershy. Putting my ear to her chest, I heard her heartbeat and sighed in relief as I hugged her close to my chest.

“Oh thank god,” I sighed as I picked her up and sat on her couch with her in my lap.

“Hey, Fluttershy. Wake up,” I whispered gently to her as I stroked her mane and chest as her eyes started to flutter open. When they fully opened, I watched as they scanned my face nervously and right as she started to shake, I petted her gently on the cheek as I moved her mane from her eyes.

“I know your mane’s pretty and all, but I’d rather look at your cute face,” I started, making her eyes go wide as her butter-cream colored cheeks flushed.

“U-um, w-who are you? I-if you don’t mind me asking,” she asked quietly.

“I’m Alexander, but you can call me Alex,” I answered with a friendly smile.

“A-Alex,” she repeated and I nodded, “that’s a nice name.”

“Not as nice as yours,” I said as I petted her some more. As I did, I noticed the dirt and ink I was spreading into her fur as she lay in my lap.

“Oh, sorry. I got you all dirty,” I said as I slid her off of me and she looked the both of us over.

“Oh, you poor thing. You must not have taken a bath in a while.”

“Not since this morning.”

“Let’s get you cleaned up then,” Fluttershy said as she hopped off the couch and started to head for her backdoor, but stopped when she spotted Rainbow Dash on the floor, “oh, Rainbow Dash came over? When did she get here?”

“Uh, she was here and already asleep when I got here,” I lied.

“Oh, well she’s looking a little dirty too, so she can take a bath with you,” Fluttershy said after looking over Rainbow for a second before looking up at me, “do you mind carrying her?”

“I guess not,” I answered as I pick her up and slung her over my shoulder.

“Thank you,” Fluttershy said with a cute smile before continuing the way out back, where a giant wooden tub the size of a pool sat, “please get in. I’ll heat it up in one second.” She disappeared around the side of her house as I climbed into the lukewarm water, clutching Rainbow to my chest. As soon as I was all the way in and the water was up to our necks, she started to wake up.

“Ugh, sweet Celestia, my head,” she moaned as she propped herself up against me with one hoof and used the other to rub her head, “I remember some weird monster being at Fluttershy’s door, but then…” She stopped her mumbling when she noticed where she was. As if not wanting to notice me, her eyes looked down and scanned the surrounding water before landing on me, who smiled innocently back at her.

“Hey, Rainbow Dash,” I greeted and she suddenly stiffened up, “oh, don’t worry; Fluttershy told me your name and if you’re worrying about her, she’s fine. She’s just heating up the water for this bath.”

“Like I’d trust you!” she suddenly exclaimed and started thrashing around, splashing water in my face, “Let me go!”

“Alright! Calm down!” I said as I did what she commanded and pushed her away from me. Once there were a few feet between us, she calmed down for a whole second before freaking out again. I sighed before I moved over and grabbed her again, making her calm down.

“You can’t swim, can you?”

“S-shut up,” she replied as she turned away.

“Hey, I’m not making fun of you. I’m not the strongest swimmer either, “I leveled with her, knowing how much pride she took in being the best at all sporting activities, “If I’m being completely honest, I didn’t even learn how to until two years ago, and I’m twenty-two.”

“Hmpf, whatever. I don’t need the pity of a monster,” she spat back.

“What? How was that pity? And I’m not a monster, I’m a human,” I replied.

“Well, you look like a monster.”

“You’re not the first to say that, but thanks anyway," I sighed. Right as I did, the jets in the pool started up and the water was heated instantly. A few moments later, Fluttershy came from around the house.

“Oh, Rainbow Dash, you’re awake,” she said as she approached the pool, “are you feeling alright?”

“Yeah, I’m cool, but are you alright?” Rainbow asked as she tried to move to the edge of the pool, but obviously couldn’t so I walked her, “this thing didn’t do anything to you, did it?”

“Oh no, he didn’t do anything,” she answered quietly as she looked me right in the eye, “he’s a sweetheart. I don’t think he would hurt anypony.”

“That’s right, I wouldn’t,” I confirmed, but was ignored.

“How do you know it’s a ‘he’?” Rainbow said as looked at me for a second, “I’ve never seen or heard of a Hoo-man before.”

“Hoo-man?” Fluttershy repeated as she tilted her head, “I thought you were Alex?”

“My name is Alex and I’m a human,” I clarify, “anyway, do you have any soap?”

“Oh, yes. I have it right here,” Fluttershy replies as she pulls a bottle from the saddlebags she’s carrying, “I was going to join you and help you wash up, if you don’t mind.”

“Uh, sure,” I answered after looking at her puppy-dog eyes for a second, “the more the merrier, I guess.” After sitting Rainbow on the edge of the tub, Fluttershy got in and began lathering my back with her bare hooves, which were surprisingly soft.

“Ah, thanks Fluttershy,” I said as her hooves massaged my back, “that feels great.”

“Of course,” she giggled, “I’m always willing to help animals in need.”

“Aw, your so sweet,” I said as I wiped a fake tear from my eye before giving Rainbow Dash a blank stare, “unlike some people-er, ponies.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?” she replied as she squinted angrily at me.

“It means, you could stand to learn a thing or two from Fluttershy, like how to be nice and cute.”

“I can be just as nice and c-cute at Fluttershy!” she exclaimed angrily as she hovered over to us. Oh right, angry Rainbow Dash is competitive Rainbow Dash…

“Alright, I believe you! No need to prove it.” …Wait… knowing Rainbow Dash, that’s only going to-

“You don’t believe me?” damnit, “Fine, I’ll prove it too you!”

“H-how?” I asked nervously.

“I’ll, I’ll… I’ll help wash you!” she exclaimed as she pulled a loofa out of the saddlebag with her mouth.

“That’s okay,” I said as I held up my hands defensively, “I think Fluttershy and I have it under control.”

“You should probably let her do it,” Fluttershy whispered as she stopped scrubbing and leaned against my back, “if that’s okay with you. When she gets worked up, there’s no stopping her.”

“…Fine,” I sighed.

“Cool, b-but you’re gonna have to hold me,” Rainbow mumbled through the loofa. I didn’t respond as I just extended my arms and waited for to float down into them, which she did. Once she was sure I had a firm grasp on her, she started scrubbing my chest and arms while Fluttershy watched from over my shoulder. After only a minute, Rainbow had to stop because she got soap in her eyes.

“I don’t know why you didn’t just use your hooves,” I commented as I brought her close to hold with one arm while I splashed some water in her eyes with the other.

“What? That doesn’t make any sense, how could I hold it?” she asked as she let me help.

“You’re joking, right?”

"What’s there to joke about?” she asked as she tried to open her eyes. When she did, she went quiet and I held her gaze as I suddenly became strangely aware of how close her body was to mine. I could feel her toned stomach against mine, and her supple yet strong flank in my hand as I held her.

“I gotta give credit where credit’s due, even if it sounds a little creepy: you have a really nice body,” I complimented.

“I-I-I-I-” she stuttered without stopping as her body locked up and her blue cheeks became red. …Should I not have said that?

“Uh, I’m gonna head out now,” I said as I started towards the stairs of the tub.

“Oh no, please don’t go!” Fluttershy whispered aggressively into my ear as she held onto my back while I carried the broken Rainbow Dash out of the water, “I-I like having you around…”

“And like being around you Fluttershy, but it’s getting late and I’ve got business to take care of. You know, being new to town and all.”

“New to town?” she repeated as she let me go to towel off. She had a cute thinking face on for a moment before the light bulb seemed to go off in her head.

“W-well, can I see you again?” she asked before hiding behind her mane, “If that’s alright with you.”

“Of course,” is said as I kneeled down and brushed the mane from her face to look into her eyes, “I have a feeling we’ll see each other again very soon.”

“M-me too,” she replied with a cute smile. She must know what’s up.

“Well, I’ll see ya,” I said before giving her a little rub on the cheek and leaving around the side of her cottage. Spotting the road back to town, I started down it as I did a little thinking while watching the sun set at a strange speed. I should probably head back to Rarity’s to get my clothes; I’ve been naked for too long and I think I’ve become a little too comfortable with it… but I did kind of molest her soooo… Should I go back to the library? Spike’s there, but without Twilight he might assume the worst… Applejack’s probably still mad, and I didn’t even get to talk to Pinkie Pie. Man, what the hell; this trip to Equestria hasn’t been too fun so far. Next thing I’m going to find out is I can’t go-

“Guh!” I grunted as I was suddenly tackled in the stomach by a mint green ball and sent to the ground, “Goddamnit.” I groaned as I brought my hands to the weight on my stomach and lifted it into my sight.

“Hi,” the unicorn said as she flapped a hoof at me, “I’m Lyra.” Oh shit, it’s Lyra Heartstrings. She’s pretty cool as long as she isn’t crazy.

“Hi, Lyra, I’m Alexander, but you can call me Alex,” I greeted as I rested her on top of me and I looked her over, “I love your eyes and colors.”

“R-really?” she asked incredulously, “Nopony likes my colors!”

“Well, I do. And I’m guessing you know what I am.”

“A human, right?” she asked as she started to shake with excitement, “With hands and everything?”

“Yep,” I answered as I brought my right hand in front of her, “hands and everything.” I chuckled as she took my hand into her hooves and turned it around, flexing each of my fingers. I quickly stopped though when she stuck a few of my fingers in her mouth and sucked on them lightly.

“Uh, what are you doing?” I asked. Damn, and she almost wasn’t crazy.

“I heard that this does something for humans,” she hummed through my hand as her eyes became half-lidded.

“Uh, n-no, that doesn’t do anything,” I said with as straight of a face I could manage. She then slowly pulled my fingers out of her mouth one-by-one, an audible pop accompanying each one.

“You sure?” she asked as her tail unknowingly flicked back and forth over the hard-on I just noticed I had. Damn, she’s sexual predator Lyra.

“Y-yeah, I’m sure,” I said as I started to slowly sit up, “now, if you don’t mind, I need to be some-” I was suddenly cut off by my own moan and hers, as when I sat up, Lyra slid down my body and her seething nethers collided with mine and a jet of warm liquid sprayed all over my lower half. I sat there stunned as she fell over in a panting and quivering heap next to me. A cold breeze eventually passed over me, knocking me out of my trance and thankfully killing my boner.

“What the hell was that?” I asked myself as I got out of the puddle I was siting in and kept heading into town. Oh my god, what the hell is going on? That’s the second pony I’ve molested today, and I honestly don’t feel that bad about it, just freaked out. What would others say if they found out about this? I mean, I guess it doesn’t matter too much since this can’t be real, but if it is…

“Alex!” a familiar voice calls out from behind me.

“I’m sorry, Lyra,” I said as I kept walking without looking back, “I can’t go all the way with you. I just… don’t feel comfortable with it.”

“What? Alex, it me, Twilight.”

“Huh?” I muttered as I turned around and saw the familiar purple unicorn, “Twilight, you’re alright!”

“Yeah, it was just like you said. I just-” she started, but was cutoff when I dropped to my knees and threw my arms around her neck.

“Oh my god, Twilight! I’m so happy to see you! Everyone around here is fucking crazy and I have no idea what’s going on!” I exclaimed as I hugged her, “You’re the only one who makes any sense!”

“U-uh… t-there, there Alex?” she said hesitantly as she patted me on the back, “T-there’s no reason to be upset.”

“Oh, I’m not upset,” I said as I pulled back and held her by the shoulders, giving her as convincing a smile as I could, “I’m just a little weirded out by this place, but I’m fine otherwise.”

“Uh,” Twilight said as she raised an eyebrow and tilted her head, “are you sure you’re alright?”

“Yeah. I’m a little cold now that the sun’s gone down, but other than that, I’m fine.”

“Oh, right, your clothes,” she said as she levitated them out of her saddlebags and gave them to me, “I went back and got them for you after I calmed Applejack down.”

“Thanks, for the clothes and Applejack,” I said as I slipped my pants back on, “and I hope Rarity isn’t too upset.”

“She’s fine,” Twilight said with a roll of her eyes and dismissive wave of her hoof, “she said she wants you to come over tomorrow to get your clothes started.”

“Great, I’ll be there,” I said as I zipped up my jacket, “so is there anything else you want to show me before we head back?”

“Well, I didn’t get to formally take you Sweet Apple Acres, and it’s a little late to see Fluttershy or Rainbow Dash, so no; I guess not.”

“Hmm… Alright then. Back to the library, if you don’t mind me staying with you, that is.”

“Oh, of course not. That was my plan,” she answered as we started walking, “I-I don’t mind having you around.”

“And I don’t mind being around you, Twilight.” That’s the second time I’ve said that. As we walked, I casually put a hand on Twilight’s neck and ran my hand through her mane. I hope she doesn’t mind; these ponies are ridiculously cuddly. And she didn’t seem to, if her content sighs and leaning into my hand was anything to go by. After a few minutes, we made it back to the library door where I pulled my hand away.

“W-what’s the matter?” she asked worriedly the instant my hand left her.

“I just don’t want Spike getting the wrong idea,” I answered honestly, “I kinda don’t want to get a dragon angry.”

“Oh, well he’s still just a baby, so you don’t have anything to worry about.”

“If you say so.”

“Speaking of Spike, I’ll have him make us something to eat,” she said as I opened the door for her, “thank you.” As soon as I closed the door behind me, I was pinned back against it by Twilight’s hooves.

“Something wrong, Twilight?” I asked as I tried to see in the strangely pitch-black library.

“Nothing’s wrong, Alex,” she replied in a strange tone, “in fact, everything’s perfect.”

“Oh, well that’s-”

“Now that you’re here,” she said right into my ear, sending chills down my spine, “ever since you called me cute this morning, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you.”

“Oh… Well, I’m flattered, but come on. I was only stating the obvious,” I said as I started to break a nervous sweat, “I mean, there have to be others that have told you that.”

“Well, yes. My friends have.”

“There you g-”

“But they don’t count.”

“…I guess that makes sense… But what are you planning on doing now that you’ve got me, all, alone…” Shit.

“Oh, I think you know,” she whispered and I felt her breath right on my face. Goddamnit, just when I was thinking this place was alr-

“SURPRISE!” what sounded like a thousand voices, screamed as the lights suddenly came on and balloons and confetti fell from the ceiling. Scared half-to-death, Twilight shrieked as she jumped in the air, almost hitting her head on the ceiling. I caught her when she came back down and she quickly wrapped her hooves around my neck, practically choking me.

“Welcome to Ponyville, Alex!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed as the pink party pony bounced over to me from the back of the huge crowd.

“Thanks… Pinkie Pie,” I coughed out through Twilight’s death grip before patting her on the butt, “Twilight… please…”

“Huh?” she muttered as she looked at my blue face, “Oh, I’m sorry!” She quickly loosened her grip, but didn’t let go all together. Once I caught my breath, Pinkie Pie snapped a party hat onto my head and stuck a noisemaker into my mouth that I blew once.

“So were you surprised?” she asked excitedly as she bounced around Twilight and me, “Were ya? Were ya, were ya, were ya?”

“Yeah, definitely,” I answered with a smile, “haven’t had a surprise party since I was a kid.”

“Well, that’s no good!” Pinkie said with a fake frown before her normal smile returned, “When’s your birthday? I’ll make sure I throw you another one! But wait! It won’t be a surprise if you know! Alex, tell me your birthday and then forget I asked!”

“It’s March 15th,” I answered with a chuckle.

“March 15th, March 15th, March 15th. Got it!”

“Got what?”

“Your birthday, silly! You just told me!”

“…Right,” I sighed with a smile, “well, it’s nice to actually meet you, Pinkie. I didn’t get a chance to say hi before you ran away.”

“I didn’t run away, silly! I left so I could start planning this party!” she replied with a huge grin, before deflating, ever so slightly, “I’m sorry I didn’t say hi though! I keep trying to remember that, but I just get so excited when I see new ponies!”

“Don’t worry about it,” I said as I petted her sticky mane, “you did it for a good reason and I got to meet you now, which makes me happier than any party could.”

“Huh?” she said as a confused look replaced her happy one, “You don’t like the party?”

“No, I love the party. I’m just saying I love you more.”

“Y-you l-l-love me?” she asked as a small, but somewhat creepy smile appeared on her face along with a blush that was somehow pinker than her.

“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” I asked as I felt Twilight’s grip on me tighten. Pinkie started to vibrate violently as she kept repeating that one sentence over and over again. Soon she started vibrating so much, she was sliding around the floor, bumping into other ponies and completely ignoring them as she moved further into the crowd.

“…Okay,” I said once I lost sight of her, “I’m getting some cake. Want some?”

“…Sure,” Twilight answered as she gave me the stink eye, but did a pretty bad job. I weaved my way through the crowd of ponies, only stopping for a few seconds to say hi. When I got over to the food table and started cutting a piece of cake, Twilight noticed Rainbow Dash sitting next to the table.

“Hello, Rainbow Dash,” she called out to her.

“Hey, Twili-” Rainbow started, but stopped mid-greeting when he looked up and saw me eating cake with one hand and carrying Twilight with the other, “A-A-Alex!”

“Sup,” I greeted through a mouthful of cake before swallowing, “I see you’re better now.”

“U-uh, y-yeah. What you said just surprised me is all,” she replied without looking at me.

“Oh, I’m sorry. I was just speaking the truth; I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable,” I said before taking another bite.

“I-I wasn’t uncomfortable!” she suddenly exclaimed, making the few ponies around us look at her and cause her to whisper, “I-I was just surprised.”

“Alright, I’ll leave you alone then,” I said as I started to walk away, “but I better see you dancing later.” I walked over to and sat in an empty chair as I ate my cake, still cradling Twilight.

“Hey, I thought you were getting me some,” Twilight eventually spoke up after watching me eat for a while.

“Oh, I just figured we’d share,” I said as I held up a bite to her face. She glanced between the cake and me before blushing and taking the bite into her mouth and humming in delight.

“It’s good,” she sighed.

“I know,” I replied as I was about to take another bite, but stopped when I noticed some frosting on Twilight’s nose, “hold still.”

“Wha-” was all she said before I used a finger to wipe the frosting away and put it in my mouth.

“Hey, Alex! It’s question time!” someone called out. I set the rest of our cake down before standing up and walking in the direction of the voice. Right in the center of the room, was a stool that I sat on and waited for everyone to quiet down. Damn, that’s a lot of ponies. How many did Pinkie invite? After a minute of waiting, everyone quieted down and it took me another second to realize everyone was focused on me.

“Oh, heh, sorry,” I apologized before clearing my throat, “so uh, I’m Alexander, or Alex, and I’ll answer whatever questions you guys have.” A few hooves shot up and I picked one in the back.

“Where are you from?”

“Earth,” I answered simply. I picked another pony.

“Where’s that?”

“Hmm, not too sure. Another planet, maybe even universe.” Everyone ‘oohed’ and ‘aahed’ in unison before I picked another.

“What are you?”

“Well, I’m a human. They’re descendants of monkeys, so I’ve been told, and I’m specifically African-American, which is based on my skin color,” I explained as I noticed Twilight’s horn glowing out of one corner of my eye and a quill writing on parchment out of the other, “oh, and I’m male too.”

“So do you have a marefriend?” someone in the back called out.

“Or coltfriend?” an obviously male voice asked right after.

“Uh, no and no.”

“Do you want one?” six voices asked at the exact same time, Twilight being one of them.

“Uh…” I trailed off as the five girls I met today walked out of the crowd, each one of them sporting a heavy blush, “I… I don’t know?”

“Well, that’s not ah no,” Applejack said with a grin.

“Indeed,” Rarity said with a flip of her mane, “I look forward to the coming days.”

“What’s going on?” I asked, but was ignored or not heard.

“Well, I’m definitely not going to lose!” Rainbow said with a cocky smirk.

“Let’s all play nice now,” Futtershy whispered.

“Yeah, this’ll be a lot of fun!” Pinkie Pie exclaimed as she clapped her hooves.

“Well, I’m sorry girls, but he’s already taken,” Twilight said as she squeezed her face against mine, “Alex already agreed to live with me, so that pretty much means we’re married.”

“Uh, I don’t think that’s how that works, Twi,” Rainbow said skeptically.

“Yeah! Besides, did he say he loves you?” Pinkie asked.

“U-uh, w-well,” Twilight stuttered as she avoided the girls’ gaze.

“That’s what I thought!” Pinkie said as she hopped up and clasped herself to my right leg, “Ally said he loves me, so that makes him my coltfriend!”

“Well, I-”

“Now wait just a apple-pickin minute here!” Applejack exclaimed as she hugged my left leg, “Why does any of that matter if neither of ya have gone on a date with ‘em? Me and Alex spent a romantic time in the orchards, chasin each other, laughin, and havin a great time! Have either of you two done that?” Twilight and Pinkie stayed silent while Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash floated behind me.

“Actually-”

“Well, me and Fluttershy took a bath with Alex,” Rainbow interrupted as she latched onto my left arm.

“Y-yes, and nothing’s more romantic or intimate than a bath. At least, that’s what I think,” Fluttershy whispered as she aggressively snuggled my right arm. By the time Rainbow joined the group, the stool I was on started to groan, but when Fluttershy joined, the legs just gave out and we all fell to the floor, nobody letting go of me when we did. As I moaned about my butt, Rarity trotted around to my head, sat down and slid herself under me, resting my head on her stomach.

“W-well,” Rarity stuttered as her cheeks heated up, “Alex and I have made love!” Everyone went silent.

“Okay, that’s where I draw the line,” I said as I got up, knocking all the ponies off of me, “all the stuff you girls were saying was flattering and all, but you took it too far Rarity.”

“I’m sorry, darling,” she sighed as she looked at the floor sadly.

“…It’s fine, I just,” I sighed as I kneeled down to her and rubbed her cheek, making her look up at me, “I kind of sexually harassed you and I’m not too proud of that. In fact, I sexually harassed a lot of people today, walking around with my dick out and everything.” I turned around and looked over the red-faced crowd before talking to them.

“I’m sorry for causing all this drama, everyone-”

“Pony,” someone said.

“Uh, excuse me?”

“The word is everypony,” the voice said, the direction it was coming from becoming clear once I stood back up. I looked to the door of the library and saw the last person, er- pony, I expected to see that day: Princess Celestia, in all her radiant glory. When everyone looked up and saw my stunned face, they turned to the princess, made their own surprised faces, and bowed as they scooted away, making a path for her over to me.

“Hello, my little ponies,” heh, she said the thing, “I’ve just come by to see this new creature my student has told me about.” What?

“I thought we agreed you wouldn’t tell her about me until the day was over,” I whispered angrily at Twilight.

“I’m sorry!” she replied as she rose from her bow and nuzzled my chest, “I couldn’t help it, I couldn’t keep my feelings to myself! I had to tell somepony that I knew wouldn’t be a threat!”

“A threat to what?”

“Our relationship.”

“…W-what?” I stuttered, completely confused. When I went to look around and see if anyone else was confused, I found Celestia three feet away from me, looking me right in the eye and putting the two of us at the same height, if you don’t count her two foot long horn.

“Hello, Alexander,” she greeted with a small bow, her horn just missing me.

“Please, just Alex,” I said as I too bowed, instantly forgetting my confusion in the immediate presence of the beautiful princess, “and hello, Princess. I thought you were beautiful, but it seems my imagination wasn’t even close to the real thing.”

“Quite the flatterer you’ve found, Twilight,” she replies with her motherly smile, seeming to completely ignore my compliment.

“Oh no, Princess, I don’t flatter. I tell the truth, most of the time… One could argue your beauty is only matched by the celestial body you control, but I believe that you are much more heavenly than it,” I stated eloquently.

“Oh you,” she giggles lightly, “these are all things I’ve heard before. Comparing me to my own sun, saying nothing in all of Equus compares to me; I’ve heard it all before.”

“Oh… well, as long as you know and believe it, I won’t repeat myself. Unless you want me to,” I said with a smile and wink.

“What do you mean?” she asks with that cute tilt of her head, her smile never wavering.

“I just mean that as long as you believe that you’re beautiful, then you won’t need me to say it, unless you want me to. I promise I won’t get tired of or run out of things to compliment you on.”

“I… well…” she muttered as she took a step away from me, her smile turning to a nervous one.

“W-what?” I asked, thinking I upset her.

“H-honestly,” she started, as she looked at the floor, “…no. I don’t think I’m as beautiful as my ponies think I am.”

“…What?” I asked exaggeratedly as I took her angelic face into my hands and held her focus, “How could you not; you’re definitely beautiful. Sure, maybe the particular ponies that told you before only said so to gain your favor, but me? I honestly, and wholeheartedly believe it, and I want you to believe it as much as I do. I want you to agree with every pony that tells you you’re beautiful, whether they mean it, or not. I know this won’t happen right away, but do you at least believe me when I say: Celestia, you are beautiful?” Whoa, where’d all that come from? The princess stood there and stared at me for a few moments soaking in everything I told her before a single tear fell from her eye and onto the floor, sizzling away as soon as it landed.

“Yes. Yes, I believe you,” she nodded as a genuine smile graced her face.

“Great. Now, bring it in,” I said as I extended my arms with a comforting smile. I closed my eyes expecting to be wrapped in the warm embrace of the sun goddess, but instead felt a warmth and suppleness on my lips. Opening my eyes, I found the princess’s face extremely close to mine, causing me to draw the appropriate conclusions from the many gasps I heard around me. Right as I tried to pull away, the princess wrapped her hooves around me as she tried to deepen the kiss, but couldn’t as the sudden shift in weight caused me to fall.

Like the other times today, I broke the fall with my bruised body and kept the princess from getting hurt. As I lay there, moaning about my butt again, the princess sat up and looked down at me with a look in her eyes that I encountered earlier today but couldn’t recognize at the time; I recognized it this time. Oh boy, did I recognize my good old friend lust, but just as fast as it appeared, it disappeared as Celestia just gave me a loving smile.

“Thank you, Alex. Your renewal of my self-confidence is greatly appreciated. If you’d like, I can repay you somehow,” she offered as lust flashed in her eyes for those last few words.

“Uh… That’s alright; just helping out a friend,” I said as I slid from under her, stood up, and offered my hand.

“Well, I hope we can become more than friends in the near future,” she said suggestively as she dusted herself off.

“Uh… S-sure,” I said, my confusion returning, “so… You staying for the rest of the party?”

“I’m afraid not. A princess’s job is never done,” she said as she turned to leave, “but I’ll come back soon.”

“I’ll be on the look out,” I said as I waved to her and she made her way to the door. She simply blew a kiss at me before leaving the library in a stunned silence.

“Well…. That was something,” I said, breaking the hold the silence had on everyone and causing them all to start whispering to each other, “it was a little too intense for my tastes, but what are you gonna do?” I looked down at the girls and found most of them staring angrily at me.

“W-what?” I asked as my eyes shifted back and forth between the six.

“You just kissed the princess!” Twilight exclaimed, making me flinch.

“You’re cheating on me already!” Rainbow also exclaimed, making me flinch again.

“T-that’s okay, Alex,” Fluttershy cooed as she floated up and hugged me, “I can forgive you this once.”

“T-thanks?” I said as I hugged her back.

“Hmm, now that the princess has entered the fray, I may need to ‘step my game up’ as it were,” Rarity said to herself, loud enough for us to hear, “well, I’ll be off then. I’ll see you girls later, and, Alex?”

“Yeah?” I answered, her waving hoof making me kneel down to her.

“Don’t forget to stop by tomorrow. I’ll be waiting,” she said before quickly kissing me on the cheek and hurrying towards the door. What is going on with these ponies?

“Horse-apples, she’s right about the princess,” Applejack said to herself before looking back up at me, “ah’ll see ya later, girls. And, Alex?”

“Yeah?” I said as I kneeled down again.

“Come visit me at the farm sometime, alright?” she said as she gave me a simple hug that I was relieved, yet unsatisfied with before she turned and left. When I stood back up I noticed every pair of eyes on me.

“Anybod… Anypony else wanna leave?” I asked, and everyone else left in quite the hurry, except for Rainbow, Pinkie, Fluttershy, and Twilight, “Damn, and I really wanted to dance too. Oh well, I’m pretty tired anyway; guess I’ll start cleaning up.”

“Oh, don’t worry about that, Ally!” Pinkie said as she started bouncing around the room, “We’ll take care of it!”

“Yeah, we got it!” Rainbow added before she turned around and blasted off, leaving a rainbow trail behind her as she did laps around the library.

“Just let me help a little bit,” I said as I took a step forward to grab a cup off the floor, but was stopped when Twilight stepped in front of me.

“Don’t worry, Alex. We’ll have this done in a second,” she said as her horn started glowing, and random party objects started disappearing and floating around.

“Yeah, but I’m going to feel bad if-”

“Please, don’t worry about it, Alex,” Fluttershy whispered as she held onto me again, rubbing my cheek with her hoof, “they’ll take care of it.”

“…Fine,” I sighed as I moved over to the side and sat on the stairs to stay out of the way. As I waited for the girls to finish cleaning up, Fluttershy somehow wiggled her way under my jacket and snuggled up to me, with her head pressed up next to mine. Holding the butter-cream mare close, I watched the others do their thing and clean up my party. By the time they finished, I was starting to nod off and almost knocked myself out on the stairs.

“Aw, looks like someone’s sleepy,” Fluttershy cooed as she rubbed her cheek against my recently shaved one, “let’s get him to bed, Twilight.”

“Good idea, Fluttershy,” Twilight replied as she walked past me and up the stairs. I followed after her as Rainbow and Pinkie followed after me.

“Uh, aren’t you two going home?” I asked as we climbed the stairs.

“Are you trying to get rid of us, Ally?” Pinkie asked teasingly.

“No, of course not. I love having you girls around,” I said as I nuzzled Fluttershy for emphasis, “but you know, don’t you have stuff to do in the morning?”

“Yeah, but there’s always time for a sleepover!” Pinkie replied.

“And I’m the head of the weather patrol, so I can work whenever I want,” Rainbow explains.

“Alright, whatever you girls say,” I surrendered with a chuckle as we entered Twilight’s room where Spike was already in his little basket.

“You can have my bed, Alex,” Twilight offered. I looked up to it and saw it was the size of a twin bed, which I was not my body's preferred bed size.

“Thanks, Twilight, but I don’t think I’m going to fit. I’ll just sleep down here on some pillows or something.”

“Oh, alright,” Twilight replied somewhat sadly as she magiced some pillows from a closet and made a neat little pile that could easily hold all of us.

“You girls are welcome to join me though,” I offered as I sat down, being careful not to bounce Fluttershy around too much. What’s a sleepover without sleeping in a big pile? Once I was comfortable, the other three made themselves comfortable around me, each of them laying their head somewhere on me while Fluttershy just stayed in my hoodie.

“Good night, girls,” I yawned as I pulled them close, “don’t forget, you’re all cute and beautiful in your own way. So don’t let what I told the princess make you feel like you don’t compare.”

“Good night, Alex,” Fluttershy whispered before she kissed me on the cheek, “I love you.”

“Uh-"

“M-me too,” Rainbow muttered before she kissed me roughly.

“Yeah, you’re my favorite, Ally!” Pinkie said before she also laid a wet one on me. I waited for Twilight to say something, but she didn’t and just kept her head down. Figuring she was asleep already, I went ahead and let myself join her in the dreamscape.

…

“Hmm, what an interesting creature.”

“Huh? What? Who said that?” I asked as I looked out into the darkness surrounding the Ping-Pong table I was playing with Michael Jordan on. Out of the darkness, a dark-blue mist flowed and swam, doing a few swirls before it landed next to me and took a physical shape.

“Oh, shit, Princess Luna? Damn, I guess I really am in Equestria,” I said as the lunar princess finished materializing, “but I guess it was only a matter of time before I met you.”

“Excuse me?”

“Oh nothing. Take five, MJ,” I said to the retired basketball star. With a nod, he took his tennis racket and basketball before walking into the darkness that shifted and morphed into a fancy sitting room fit for a princess.

“Have a seat, Princess,” I said as I took up my own offer and sat on a velvet couch as my tennis racket turned into a tea set, “tea?”

“…Please,” she said somewhat hesitantly before sitting next to me and taking the cup I offered in her magic, “…Strange.”

“What is?” I asked as I sipped my drink that tasted like tennis balls.

“It is strange that one would have such control over their dreams.”

“Hmm… Now that you mention it, I am strangely lucid right now… But where are my manners? It’s nice to meet you, Princess; I’m Alexander the Human, but you can call me Alex.”

“Greetings, Alex. I would introduce myself, but it seems you already know who I am. How is that?” she asked as she looked me over, “I do not believe I have met a creature like yourself before.”

“That’s not surprising. I’m not from this world, or universe, or dimension. It’s one of those three and I’m sure Twilight knows. As for how I know you, it’s because back on my world… Hmm, never mind,” I said as the couch we were sitting on vanished, making the princess fall while I floated like I was still sitting, “oh, sorry about that. Guess I’m not as in control as I thought.”

“What do you mean ‘never mind?’ Why can you not tell me?” Luna asked as she stood up with an annoyed look on her face.

“It’s not so much that I can’t tell you, as much as it’s that the info might destroy your world; in a figurative sense, of course,” I replied as I stood and walked around the room, “but yeah, I know quite a bit about you and this world’s inhabitants. Though, a lot of that information may be inaccurate, or completely false, so don’t bother testing me.”

“Hmm… you seem very suspicious,” she said as she watched me circle her, “I shall be watching you carefully.”

“I understand, but you don’t have to worry about me during the day. The Elements of Harmony seem pretty… interested in me as well, so if I do end up doing anything, which I won’t, they can take care, of…” In the middle of my talking, I started to breathing really hard to the point where I couldn’t keep talking and I started to sweat and moan nervously.

“… A-are you alright?” the princess asked as she watched my change in attitude, “You seem a little-” The princess was cut off by my scream when the floor under us suddenly disappeared and we started falling. Quick to realize what was going on, Luna stretched out her wings and caught herself, while I just plummeted through the bright darkness, if that makes any sense. Luna dived after me when she noticed I wasn’t doing anything to stop my decent.

“Why are you not doing anything to stop this?” she yelled over the roar of the wind.

“I can’t!” I screamed back, “I’m afraid of heights! Please help me!” Luna moved to grab me, but just phased through me, as if I were a ghost.

“I am afraid I cannot do anything!” she yelled as she watched the tears fall upward out of my eyes, “I am sorry!”

“Please, Luna! There has to be some-” I started to say when a loud ringing started, “oh thank god.”

“What is that?!” Luna asked as she started to become blurry.

“Twilight’s clock I’m guessing. I’m gonna wake up in a second. See ya later, princess.”

“Wha-”

Author's Notes:

10/30/16 This isn't a total overhaul of the story, but a few things have been redone or taken out to benefit the whole story. These rewrites will take a while, but go ahead an read the rest to get a gist of what'll happen and see how bad my writing was before.