Rarity laid in the pod she shared with Fluttershy. So far they hadn't spoken to each other. They had spoken many times before tonight about what was going on (which is not surprising since they lived together), but it felt almost wrong not to be talking now. If anything Rarity wanted to talk to just say how scared she was. Her mind kept returning to the video they watched. They had never faced evil on this level before, not really. Now here they were and she was frightened beyond anything she ever had been before.

Rarity started to cry. She had been shivering from the cold so her shaking wouldn't alarm Fluttershy. She tried to cry silently. She had always been a drama queen, over reacting at the drop of a hat. Part of it was pure performance on her part. She knew she was playing a part and didn't mind playing it if it got her what she wanted. Some of it was real though. She was overly sensitive and did react strongly to things. Busting out in over the top histrionics just seemed gross and even blasphemous at a time like this. She also didn't want to disturb Fluttershy. But as hard as she tried, she couldn't keep completely silent.

Fluttershy heard Rarity sobbing and looked down at her. The were laying side by side but pointing in opposite directions. Rarity's feet were by Fluttershy's head and vis versa. Fluttershy started to tear up at the sound of her friend crying. She hated seeing anyone or thing in pain; especially someone as close to her as Rarity.

"Rarity," she called out softly. "Do you want to talk?"

"I'm sorry Darling," Rarity sob apologetically. "I didn't mean to wake you."

"It's ok, I wasn't asleep."

Rarity turned her head as to be sure Fluttershy couldn't see her. "I'm scared, frightened, terrified as to what's to come. We've never faced anything like this. I'm afraid of dying. I'm afraid of losing."

"I'm not," Fluttershy said almost cheerfully.

"How is that possible? I mean, and no offense here Darling, you're afraid of everything," Rarity responded in surprise.

"Because we've been through too much for us not to win tomorrow. When I look at everything that's happened; for the most part I feel blessed. I escaped my mother, reconnected with my father, well a little bit, and was able to help my brother as well. Thank you for that Rarity."

"No need to thank me. I did what I had to." Rarity tried to brush it off but couldn't hide she was pleased to hear it.

"My life is so much better now. I lived in fear my whole life now I don't and it's because of Twilight and facing Sunset and The Sirens, and Midnight Sparkle. I can't believe or accept that we went through all that for nothing. We'll win. If not tomorrow than whenever we face them." Fluttershy stopped and hung her head. In a lower, sadder voice she said, "Surviving is going to be the worse part."

Before Rarity could say anything they heard Twilight yell "WHAT!" They both looked at where the sound came and Rarity said, "What she said."

Rarity then sat up as best she could. "Darling, are you saying you don't want to survive?" She wanted to ask if she wanted to die but couldn't make herself actually say those words out loud.

"I do, I do Rarity. I really do. It's just . . . that, I know from here on out I'll be in pain everyday. Sometimes the pain will be overwhelming; sometimes barely noticeable, but it'll always be there and a part of me will always feel like there's a whole in my life. I could marry, have kids, and otherwise have a happy life; but that pain will always be there regardless. It's that, more than anything, that troubles me. My future husband, no matter how great he is, will never have my full heart."

"I'm so sorry. I wish I could, wait! I'm The . . ." Rarity started but was cut off.

"No. I know this might sound contradictory; but I don't want you to get rid of it. The pain is my memory of Sandal and that's all I have left. If you get rid of that, then, he's truly lost to me and that seems worse. Doesn't make much sense does it?"

Rarity reached out and touched Fluttershy's knee. "Actually Darling, it makes perfect sense," she said softly, full of compassion.

"Well, let's talk about something happier. I don't want to dwell on negatives anymore."

"Ok?" Rarity was stuck. How could she talk about anything happy? It just seemed so wrong. She didn't think she could.

"I know!" Fluttershy said excitedly. "Do you now or have you ever had a secret crush? Someone you absolutely like but don't want anyone to know about."

Rarity suddenly blushed. "Um, well, um, ah, yes I guess."

"Oh, oh, who, who," Fluttershy was now giddy. She and Rarity had talked about boys, relationships, and sex in general and Fluttershy in specific about Sandal; but Rarity never mentioned any boys in particular she liked.

"Well, I, well I kind of like, um, oh crap, I might as well say. Back in eight grade, I, I, I used to have a crush on Apple Jack."

Fluttershy's mouth dropped opened in sheer shock. "What, you ? You're the poster girl for heterosexuality. Apple Jack! Really."

"Ok, ok, Let me explain. I always liked boys but they scared me. I was afraid of them. When I met Apple, she had short hair and was very boyish. I felt safe around her and she really hadn't developed anything yet so she even looked boyish, so I kind of developed a crush on her. I was always looking for ways to hang out with her and bee around her. I would ask her to come over and try on clothes I had made. Anything really."

"Well, so what happened? I mean do you still?"

"No and it was boobies. Well, she grew her hair out and developed boobies. They weren't big, still not really, but they were there and they turned me off. I was very confused, very questioning, but once I realized why I had been attracted to her, it made being around boys easier. And once I learned how easily manipulated they were, well, tsh, I have no fears now."

"So you never considered . . ."

"No Darling. As I said, or rather you said, I'm the poster girl for heterosexuality. Apple Jack being the other one so even if I wasn't, she's off limits."

"Wow. What about now, any boys you like?"

"Not really. I don't want to be. I have my career to think about. All that can come later. Well, if there is a later."